#neither forgot but neither mentioned it again thinking the other probably didn’t remember it

[mymelodyisme]

Did you know the first time MyShane kissed it was when they were both drunk. They bought a couple of drinks from Gus, ran out into the forest and threw themselves into a nice grassy patch out near the cliff. They were giggling and talking about all sorts of things when it got really quiet and then they began talking about what they wanted out of life and why she decided the farm was her ticket to it. Something must have clicked inside of him as she explained because he leaned over and kissed her

[frvnkcastles]

Maybe frank getting shocked when you call him love in passing and you immediately freak the fuck out and try to take it back since other pet names are easy but love is hard as you're the first one to say it, and you immediately think of your ex giving you shit so you spiral but franks just so sweet and loving and he tells you, not a pet name but he loves you

TRUST I SEEK AND I FIND IN YOU ➵ F. CASTLE

Summary: You call Frank ’love’ for the first time and fear what his reaction might be.

Warnings: Brief mentions of a toxic ex, mentions of loss (Frank’s family), language, mostly fluff!!

Word count: 1.4k

Author’s note: This one was a really sweet idea!! This was a great opportunity to write about how Frank would probably struggle being in a new relationship after Maria so there’s a smidge of angst but mostly it’s just wholesome. Hope you enjoy! <3 Title from the iconic Nothing Else Matters which will definitely be played at my wedding some day. (And to me, Frank is 100% a Metallica enjoyer.)

When you fell for Frank, you fell hard. How could you not? He was easy on the eyes and he had a charm to him that he wasn’t even entirely aware of. He hardly thought he was anything amazing, but you were in awe of his protective tendencies and his big heart, not to mention the affectionate side that you brought out in him. It was a learning curve of him, considering he hadn’t been in a relationship in a long time and he felt out of practice when it came to many things, but you thought he was a natural. He knew just how to comfort you, he was always holding your hand or had an arm over your shoulders, he made you laugh and he always listened to whatever it was you had to say. So, needless to say, he stole your heart with ease.

But you still held back on him a little. You didn’t want to get too intense or overwhelming, especially when you knew his past and how his marriage had ended without actually ending. He showed you his appreciation in many ways, but you could tell he was careful about it at times, and he didn’t need to say it out loud for you to know that he was struggling to find the balance between missing his wife and being happy in a new relationship with you. You understood, and so, you didn’t push too much. Besides, after dealing with your shitty ex, you couldn’t deny you were particularly cautious about crossing any boundaries.

Your lives had become intertwined and neither of you no longer knew how to go about your day without each other, but there were still some important milestones for you to reach. Saying I love you, for one. You knew you loved Frank and you wanted to say it, but you feared it might have been too much for him to handle. You had decided to let him be the one to say it first, sure that he would appreciate the sentiment — and really, you already knew he loved you. Even if he hadn’t spoken those three words yet, he proved it time and time again with the way he cared for you. He knew everything about you and he remembered even the smallest things, including the ones you forgot you had even shared with him. Therefore, you felt at peace. You would be indescribably happy the day he would tell you he loved you, but until then, you were happy with the way things were.

Of course, a simple slip of the tongue had to ruin that bliss — or so you feared, at least.

You didn’t mean for it to leave your mouth, but it was an instinct. Frank was handing over the plate he had prepared for you, full of your favorite breakfast, just the way you liked it and without even having asked you first. He just liked doing things for you, whether it was surprising you with breakfast or running a bath for you like he had done earlier, leaving you warm and cozy as you sat by the counter in your robe.

”Thank you, love”, you blurted out, both of you immediately freezing as the unspoken word hung in the air. You looked up at Frank who was standing on the other side of the counter with a spatula in hand, and you could see the rush of emotions on his face, ranging from surprise to something you couldn’t decipher. It was obvious you had caught him off-guard, and you struggled to read his reaction, how his nostrils flared and his eyes widened and his lips parted to say something but nothing came out. In that moment, you were convinced you had fucked up, and panic erupted in your chest.

”Fuck, I’m—I’m sorry, I didn’t mean— it just slipped out”, you stuttered, your face burning up as you dropped the fork and hung your head in your hands. You were used to calling Frank pet names, and he most definitely loved calling you by multiple of them, as well, but love was one neither of you had dared to touch.

As the silence only deepened in the kitchen, your mind leaped to your ex and how he hadn’t reacted well to your attempts to show love and affection. Now, you were certain the cycle was bound to repeat with Frank, rejection and ridicule on the horizon and all because you had let that stupid, stupid pet name tumble out of your mouth.

”I’m sorry—”, you tried again, but this time, Frank interjected.

”It’s aight”, he spoke, still a little quiet and it made you uneasy. You looked up at him and found him processing, his lips twisting and his eyes softening as he nodded to confirm what he had said. ”Yeah, it’s aight. I liked it”, he added, breaking into the smallest of smiles as he met your gaze. He looked so vulnerable, you just wanted to jump over the counter and pull him into your arms, but you weren’t done spiraling about it.

”Are you sure? I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything”, you questioned with worry, a frown on your face as you observed Frank and whether or not he seemed even a little upset. But despite his initial shock, he was now smiling, touched by your care.

Putting down the spatula, he rounded the corner and snuck to stand between your legs, his hands reaching for your own. ”It’s okay, sweetheart. Got me a lil surprised, I won’t lie, but I don’t mind it. It’s real sweet and you can say it as much as you want to”, he insisted, squeezing your fingers. Still, you couldn’t help but sigh.

”I wanted to let you say it first. Fucked that up, didn’t I?” you lamented, and chuckling softly, Frank wrapped his arms around you and reeled you into his chest. You hugged him back, relieved that he seemed to be taking it well, but you still felt awful for taking away his chance to say the big word before you.

”Oh, sweet girl, I’preciate you thinkin’ of me. But it ain’t just for me to say. And I feel bad you been holdin’ out on me for my sake”, he countered. He was grateful that you had been willing to take things at his pace, but he hadn’t minded your displays of love. He may not have been ready to say it before, but he would have never turned his back on you if you had told him you loved him — and now, he was regretful that he hadn’t assured you of that enough.

”I just don’t want to scare you off. But I guess it was only a pet name, so you can still say the real thing whenever you’re ready”, you thought out loud, trying to see the positive.

Pulling back just enough to tip your head up and lock eyes with you, Frank looked at you with seriousness. ”It ain’t just a pet name. It’s… it’s how you feel ’bout me. And I feel the same way about you”, he began, and just as you were about to reassure him you knew, he continued. ”I love you, sweetheart. I really fuckin’ love you”, he spoke firmly, wanting you to hear it from him. He meant every word, and he had known it for a long time, just never really felt like the right time to say it for the first time.

You looked at him in amazement, completely taken aback by his confession, but it felt so, so good. ”I love you, Frank”, you returned the favor, breaking into a wide smile. He grinned and leaned down to kiss you, his thumb under your chin as his mouth met yours in a soft collision. It was sweet and tender, which always made your heart flutter — for a man so big and scary, he knew how to be gentle with you.

Breathless, he broke the kiss, smiling down at you. Both of you felt the glow of admitting your genuine feelings for one another, and it was a high you couldn’t climb off of. Hearing it just once from Frank was enough to fuel you for days.

”I’m going to be saying it a lot now, just so you know”, you retorted, and laughing, Frank nodded.

”I’m good with that, darlin’”, he promised before kissing you again, deeper this time. You felt the passion in it, knowing that no matter how often he was going to say it out loud, he loved you in the most sincere of ways.

And that was all you needed.

[weirdthinkingdragon]

At Least There's One

Mostly dainsleif x gn reader (honestly could be platonic or romantic)

I don’t remember if he knows who the archons are. Possibly slight ooc dainsleif. This also got out of hand 

Warnings: you get a broken forearm and mentioned other ways of being harmed

Not proofread

Thinking of sagau again. What if you started wearing a mask and they accepted it as you'd change your face if you could? 

They absolutely despised you from looking like their creator (who is actually you but neither they nor you knew that), and have called you every name and even some harm at some point. But at least they're sane enough to understand that faces are genetic from birth. (I also believe teyvat isn't progressed far enough for beauty stuff like plastic surgery, so they knew you COULDN'T change your face.) 

So one day you had enough and just… started wearing a mask of some sort. Even a simple bandana worn like a treasure hoarder's seemed to work. Sure, they still didn't like you very much, but at least they weren't physically hostile and you could actually buy some stuff for foods. You were getting quite sick of just berries and not the best cooked meat. 

You knew ingredients for the recipes from memorizing them from playing genshin, but most if not all don't tell you exactly how long to cook it, always making you overcook or undercook it and just never coming out right or tasting very good.  

That's all you wanted and you weren't ever coming into a place full of people again until you absolutely had to. Every time one of your favorites glare at you it hurts so much more. The only thing you want to do is search harder for a way back to your real world but that better be possible in the wild. 

In speaking of that, it's almost funny to you how willing places were to give you recipes and even ingredients for stuff like hair products when you informed you were planning on stocking up and want to stay out of cities and even towns as long as possible. 

While traveling and stocking up, you thought of the best place to be. Dvalin seemed to be rather kind to you that one time you ran into him, but you knew he was close to Venti and he’d visit Dvalin a lot. He’d… probably not like you hanging so close very much. 

Liyue has so many mountains and you do NOT want to push Zhongli’s patience, whatever it may be. You’d rather not die by a rock or spear. 

Which is also why inazuma is out of the question. You don’t know where the traveler is, and you don’t even know if the puppet’s been changed yet or not. 

Sumeru is an okay option, but running into the rangers would be annoying, and no way are you going to the desert. 

Fontaine would possibly be okay, but that’s so incredibly far from where you are in mondstadt that you decide not to. And past that you haven’t played or experienced so no going other places either. 

--------------------

Your bag is pretty much full as you go to leave. 

You’re distracted though and not looking in front of you, still thinking of where to go when you bump into someone. 

You look and know who it was immediately. You wonder because of who he is, would he act like the others or no?

He notices the glare the archon is giving you from quite a distance away. What could you have possibly done to make him not like you like this?

“Sorry! Wasn’t looking where I was going!” You were really worried you were about to be verbally beaten down again. 

“It’s fine. I forgot what I came here for anyways.” He didn’t, but he could just get it later. He left with you to spite the look the anemo archon was giving you. 

You two get a pretty far distance away from Mondstadt. “Care to explain why the archon seemed to hate you so much?” 

You decided the best way to tell was to show, and took off your mask. “Apparently I look like their creator?” You decided to continue with a lie in a way. “Which I wouldn’t know since I don’t really focus or care about gods or the archons or whatever.” 

He was astounded. That’s all? The only offense you’ve done is literally look like some fictional god or the “creator” he’s never seen or cared to read much about? He didn’t know the archons could find a way to be even worse. 

“I’m also looking for a place without people. No offense but uh, you seem like someone who’d know a good place for that.” 

He shakes off his slight stupor. “I usually don’t stay in a single place for long, but I do know a few.”

He leads you to a really isolated place that took a few hours of walking, but you managed. He even offered to help carry some of your items which surprised himself and you from knowing how he is. 

Your stomach rumbles loudly, embarrassing you. “Sorry. Sadly they wouldn’t let me order food and eat in the city.” 

He’s finding this situation more and more stupid. “That’s fine. Should be pretty easy to set a fire and make some food.”

It’s eventually made and you actually were able to follow a bought detailed recipe of a food you really wanted to try in the game. Looks just like it would. You offer some to Dainsleif which he relents and accepts after a bit of pestering by you. 

The first bite was the best thing you’ve tasted in literal months. It was so good you teared up.

A galaxy looking tear falls from your face, hardening into a solid mass as it falls onto your lap.  They’re not very small either. They somehow become triple in size of an average tear. Then another. And even a few more from just the delicious taste coming to you fall. You don’t even notice.

Dainsleif gets a very bewildered expression. He barely remembers reading about the so-called “creator” but that’s a sign of them that no matter what magic is used can’t be replicated. You… you’re really the creator he thought was fiction. And the strong believing archons… Even their people… He could almost laugh at the absurdity. 

One is still only half-made and sticking to your face. After another moment, it disappears like it was never there. The solid ones are still in your lap though.  

It wasn’t the last time you’d tear up either. A time not too long after that you were kidnapped after falling asleep. Dainsleif left to do who knows what, but you thought you’d be fine alone. 

They’re treasure hoarders. They’re not known to be very nice, and especially aren’t to you, who’ve they heard of as an imposter. While you were tied up one even went so far as to break your forearm. That hurt severely, making a few slip and them all stop dead in their tracks as a solid tear hit the ground. 

Thankfully Dainsleif saw them and you from coming back wherever he was. A protective urge formed from him actually rather liking you. The more he thought about it, the more he was open to liking you and having you as a god other than the archons and celestia. Why? Because being Human. That’s what you were, human. 

His mind made up you wouldn’t have had gods if you could. After all, you let Khaenri'ah form back then. There were gods, but if people didn’t want one, they didn’t have to believe in one. You let people be who they were, and he wouldn’t doubt you would have saved Khaenri'ah more if you could have. But he’s still here, so it isn’t fully gone. You let him stay the best of your abilities to spite the Archons. He likes you’re not all-powerful as well. At least not in this time you decided to come here. Maybe you needed to be human a while to get your strength back? 

Even if not the case, he now wants to be around you. To protect you the best he can, even if it isn’t the best. He also swears when he focuses on it that his curse feels slightly weaker when around you.

He injures them but doesn’t kill them. Just to send a message. 

The treasure hoarders end up letting the info slip next time they’re out of their disguises in mondstadt and liyue, making the two archons hunt you down do apologize for not believing you were. 

They surprisingly work together and find you and Dainsleif rather quickly. 

You’re laying on your back in the grass with your broken arm in a pretty poorly made cast and holding one of the solid tears in your other hand, turning and moving it to watch the sparkles like stars in it move as well. A part of you wishes you could bring one home with you. They’re actually really cool looking. 

Dainsleif tried his best to make a cast but obviously he’s not an expert in the medical field. He's resting as well fairly close to you. Honestly your thighs are almost touching. 

The archons notice and are quite envious. They glare at Dainsleif. 

He senses their presences and turns to look. Having you look as well.

They're shocked with the black shining item in your hand, and just realized all this time they were ignoring the real creator. Not again! They will NEVER ignore you again! “How dare you keep the creator to yourself.” Zhongli says harshly. 

What? You and Dainself share a rather incredulous look. Then go back to looking at the two archons again. 

This makes him hate the archons all the more. He didn’t really care about even the creator before, but at least he had and still has respects for them. And they really didn’t even think of finding a way to test it? Someone shows up for the first time ever in history with the face of the creator and they don’t question it?

How dumb, even the so-called gods themselves who were so beyond obsessed with you were too stupid to realize it was you. He finds it ironic. 

“Why would the creator want to be around any of you after the way you treated them?”

“But we didn’t know!” 

You just respond with an eye roll. You're not going back with them after the way they treated you. Not too long ago you encountered Dvalin again from temporarily staying by a place near the Stormbearer mountains. Dvalin even told you he'd try to tell Venti you're the creator but Venti must have ignored his friend. 

Dainsleif looks at the two archons like they’re stupid. “And… you didn’t bother to check? Even if you didn’t know, they could have still been a human you turned against, which is very unbecoming of an archon. 

You play right into the role, more time passing for you to accept it. "Precisely why I'm not going back. Why would I want to go with someone who'd turn against another just for them having a face of someone they know? I'm ashamed of you guys and your people honestly. If I wasn't the creator, you'd still treat me as nothing more than sand." 

"But-" Venti starts as you cut him off. Shame filling the two more by each of your words.

"I don't want to hear it. You made your Graves, now lie in them. I may not have powers now or ever, but that doesn't mean I should have been treated that way even as human. Leave." 

They did, but are planning ways to make it up to you. They have to have their creator with them, not some low-life like Dainsleif. If it comes down to it and they have to kill him to eventually bring you with them, then that's just what they'll have to do.

[alwaysthefool]

Clear (Tara x MC/Reader)

Tags: jealousy, intended wlw but can be read w gn reader, fluff, soft

Warnings: you kinda hate Xavier sorry, drinking and smoking mention

The party felt suffocating as you watched her dance around, lively and handsy. Sat on the couch, you just watched pouring down another shot of something awfully fiery, not letting a disgusted expression show.

But there still seemed to be disgust on your face for another reason. You couldn’t take it anymore watching her body roll, grabbing your jacket and making your way through the crowd of people passed out or in the process of passing out, towards the lawn. The fresh air diverted your mind for a second and you contemplated taking a smoke, before you felt a hand on your shoulder.

It was that platinum haired mystery hunter that everyone, including her, was gushing over. You remembered when you first met him, not thinking much of it, until Tara said she was impressed by ‘you’ who took out all those wanderers ‘by yourself’. You still didn’t have the heart to tell her it wasn’t you and it tore at you inside, resentment blooming every time you saw his face, which was oddly too often.

“Hey.” You didn’t look at him as you took out the cigarette, knowing it was a turn off for most guys, carefully bringing the lighter to your face. You could sense his disgust, resisting the urge to giggle, until you heard him sigh.

It’s working. You cheered internally.

“You know,” Xavier spoke gently. “You can’t hide your feelings behind bad habits for long.”

You inhaled the smoke, relaxed but confused. You exhaled away from his face, tapping the cigarette while crossing your arms. He smiled at you, patting your shoulder before leaning in to whisper “She’s coming. I’m rooting for you two.”

Your eyes widened and he laughed a little as he pulled away looking at your shocked face. When Xavier walked away, Tara came sprinting over to you, her face red, either from drinking or dancing.

God, she’s beautiful. You could feel the heat rising to your own cheeks, your heartbeat almost in your throat, thankfully preventing any embarrassing words from spilling out.

You forgot all about your cigarette until Tara gestured at the ash collecting on the stick. “Oh, oh shit.” You chuckled nervously, putting it out under your feet immediately, picking it up afterwards and shoving it in your pocket, knowing how much she hated littering. She laughed a little at that for some reason. You were happy you could get that reaction out of her, but a little worried she might think of you as a joker, which you clearly acted like around her.

“So, uh, Xavier, huh?”

You frowned, pushing your hands into your pockets. “What about him?”

“He was quite close to you.” Her eyes darted to the ground. Oh, two can play this game.

“Nero was quite close to you too while dancing today.” You retorted, interested in her reactions, her puppy eyes that occasionally looked at you before looking away realising you were staring, her (probably) soft hands that fiddled with each other, her body language, anything, anything that indicated she felt the same way.

“I was just trying to get him to open up and dance.” She mumbled, and you suddenly felt guilty.

“Sorry.” You sighed. You took your hand out of your pocket, likely reeking of cigarette ash, before extending it to her. “Wanna take a walk?”

She looked up into your eyes, and then at your hand. There it was again, that unresolved tension between the two of you, the unspoken sparks neither of you talked about but everyone around you noticed, this subtle asking about love interests that had been going on ever since you two met. The mutual attraction was so obvious but for some reason, you didn’t have the confidence to bring it up.

Except now, when your unhealthy vices gave you temporary confidence, and she looked too beautiful in that black dress to let go.

She took your hand, and it felt so soft you felt a shudder go through your spine. As if she sensed it too, she looked into your eyes, not wanting to let the moment pass by.

You gave her a cool smile, turning to go towards the pavement, with the most beautiful girl in your life next to you. You kept her on the safer side of the road, and she rested her head on your shoulder closing whatever distance was there between you. For a while you two walked in silence, until you couldn’t take not speaking anymore.

“So-“ “I-“ You both began at the same time. You chuckled, telling her to go first.

She held on to you a little tighter, the scent of her fruity shampoo engulfing you. It was so her, you thought, smiling to yourself. It was something you wanted to smell every morning, a hand you wanted to hold at least forty times a day, the girl you wanted to keep in your arms as often as you could.

“I…” She began, her voice hesitant. “I’d really like to… visit the Kitty Café with you.”

You laughed at that. “Huh? Well, I mean, sure.”

“No, you don’t get it.” She stopped under a streetlight, the music from the party now inaudible, only her cheerful voice and anxious breathing surrounding your ears. You couldn’t help but hold her face as she looked up at you, biting her lip to speak. “I heard it’s a good place for couples to go.”

Your heart skipped a beat. Your head cursed itself internally for not realising she just asked you out sooner. Your hands and lips, however, wanted to reciprocate immediately.

“I’d love to.” You replied, using your other hands to fix her bangs. She smiled, her own hands reaching your neck.

“Hey, [name]? Just to make things absolutely clear, can I kiss you?”

“There’s nothing I’d want more.”

——x——

Feel free to request

[farfromstrange]

Foreigner's God: Chapter 53

Main Masterlist

Pairing: Matt Murdock x OFC

Chapter Summary: A familiar face knocks on Matt's door, demanding the truth about the past couple of days, but telling the truth would mean endangering him, and neither Matt nor she wants that to happen. She feels bad for lying to Happy, but there is no other way, not when she wants to protect him, so she puts on a mask and pretends she's okay when in reality, she is anything but, and Matt makes sure to take care of her with unconditional devotion.

Warnings: Angst, mention of injury and blood, hurt/comfort

Word Count: 5k

A/n: Fun fact: I wrote this chapter and the previous one as one chapter. Then I separated them because I struggled with the second part which is now this chapter. I completely forgot to post it here, which is why it has already been up on AO3 for a bit, but anyway. This is still pretty mental health heavy and so is the next chapter, so be careful and take care of yourselves!

Tag List: @acharliecoxedfan @gpenguin666 @lina-mar (& if you want to be added too, fill out this form!)

Read Chapter 53: I Will Be Your Remedy here on AO3!

Sometime around halfway into cleaning the kitchen, Matt perked up. Her breathing and heartbeat were calm, sounding their usual rhythm as she slept. He directed his attention toward the front door of the apartment complex. A familiar set of footsteps echoed through the hallway, followed by the stairwell. 

He took a few steps forward, waiting for the person to finalize their decision. A few seconds later, there was a knock on the door. He reached for his glasses on the dining table and quickly made his way to the front door. Another knock sounded out, this time louder than before. Eliza was still fast asleep in the bedroom, but he worried that if he didn’t open the door soon enough, it would be kicked in and then her sleep would be disturbed all over again. She needed the rest. Unexpected visitors were the last thing he wanted her to concern herself with, so perhaps he could find a way to send him away before he could even think about entering. 

Matt opened the door only enough for him to stand in the gap, listening to the rapid heartbeat of the man across from him. He could smell hints of sweat on his skin, his eyes were sunken and he’d probably had one or two coffees too many on his way. He braced himself on the door frame and waited for him to speak; if he told him that he knew very well who was standing in front of him, his cover would be blown, and that was a conversation he wasn’t ready for just yet. 

“Hey,” Happy said, his chest heaving with the lack of oxygen from his sprint up the stairs. 

“Oh. Happy?” Matt asked. “What’re you doing here?”

“I know you’re trying to play dumb, but we both know why I’m here.”

He took a deep breath. “Happy…”

“She hasn’t answered any of my calls. Eliza, she… she hasn’t even read my texts. I mean, I only saw the news long after the trial ended, but man, I tried reaching her as soon as I found out and she still hasn’t shown me a sign of life. I just need to know if she’s okay, Matt. Please.”

He raised his hand wordlessly, trying to calm his rambling down to a minimum. 

Happy’s eyes softened. “Is she here?” he asked. 

Matt was hesitant to answer. His expression seemed sheerly unreadable, and with each silent second passed between them, Happy grew more and more agitated, and his worry exceeded new limits. The desperation in his voice grew into a clear sound that could have been counted as begging. He was pleading with Matt for the answers he couldn’t find before, and the more he stared at his blank face, the more he began to suspect the worst. He was wired that way. 

“Please,” his voice sounded barely above a whisper. “I don’t ask for much, I just need to know what happened, and I need to see for myself that she’s alive and well. This is killing me here. You remember the last time she went MIA? Yeah, she almost died then and I thought I’d lost her, so I really need to know history isn’t repeating itself right now.”

He tried giving her space. It wasn’t the first time Eliza had disappeared off of the face of the earth without a word, and it wouldn’t be the last, but the context in which she disappeared was enough to shoot his anxiety levels through the roof. 

The news didn’t offer much information on the shooting, and he doubted the police even knew what was going on. He saw her on the video, replayed it a million times with Tony by his side. He remembered going pale in the face and excusing himself to call her, but Eliza didn’t pick up. He lost count of how many times he tried to reach her or coax a reaction out of her that would show him she was okay. She didn’t even read the countless text messages, and that was the most unlike her. 

His thoughts were all over the place, most of them incapable of being sorted, and the categories his mind found for certain horror scenarios were sickening. Happy felt nauseous, even more so while looking into his own reflection in the red glass that covered Matt’s unfocused eyes. His lip twitched, but he didn’t smile, he didn’t cry, he looked like a mere robot waiting for confirmation to act. He hated the anticipation, it drove his blood pressure to a point that would earn him a glare or two from Tony once he checked the stats of his new watch, but there was not much calmness to be found in his heart when it came to the troublemaker that Eliza was. And some of the trouble she got into wasn’t even her fault, her life just happened to work that way, and somehow that drilled the knife even deeper into the already weeping wound. 

Much to his surprise, Matt took a step back. He lowered his head, let out a weary sigh, and waved softly. “Come in,” he said. 

“Wait, really?” 

“Yeah. I was just about to make some coffee.”

Happy scattered his thoughts as quickly as they had fallen and followed after him into the apartment. He looked around, catching sight of some of Eliza’s clothing carelessly thrown over the back of the couch. He could smell her perfume and the remains of her favorite sandwich in the air. Her coat hung on the rack next to the door and her bag had found home over one of the chairs at the dining table. It looked nothing like the compound had looked back when she was still living there. The sight of Matt’s apartment was the perfect picture of domesticity, and he seemed to navigate well around the ordinary mess that came with the relationship. Pieces of him mixed with pieces of her and it formed a sanctuary they were both more than happy to be living with him. 

Matt was her safe place, he realized. She loved living with him. She was comfortable and felt at home, and she had quickly made his four walls into her own too. Even at the compound, Eliza kept a packed bag under her bed, ready to leave and run if the need arose. With Matt, it seemed entirely different; she had finally found a home, and it seemed as if she was nowhere close to running. 

Happy’s chest filled with pride yet a sense of sadness when he thought about what could have been, and how her life still managed to put stones in her way even after she had decided that staying was worth the fight. 

“Where is she?” he asked. 

Matt shushed the loud tone of his voice and pointed toward the milky glass of the bedroom door. “She’s resting,” he said. “She’s had a rough couple of days, that’s also why she hasn’t answered your texts. I think. She hasn’t been on her phone much. But she’s okay, Happy, I can assure you that. She’s always safe with me.”

“She’s okay?”

“Yeah, she is.” He mustered a small smile. 

Happy lowered himself down on one of the empty chairs. “Oh, thank God!” 

He didn’t mention her stay at the hospital, the countless breakdowns, or the events of the previous night. It wasn’t Matt’s story to tell, it was hers, and he knew Eliza wanted nothing more than to keep her family safe. If he had told Happy the truth, what little safety the unknown offered him would have been gone. He couldn’t make such a decision on his own, and it wasn’t fair to her, either. 

He stayed quiet, instead brewing the coffee he had intended to make. He focused on her presence in the other room, noting how her chest continued to rise and fall calmly. How long she would be able to sleep, he wasn’t sure, but for now, she was still safe and sound in her resting state. 

Matt poured the coffee into two mugs, a bit more relaxed now. “Milk or sugar?” he questioned. 

“Both,” said Happy. 

He nodded and added the last few finishing touches to their drinks before carrying them over to the table. 

“Thank you.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“I have to ask,” Happy couldn’t help himself but disrupt the growing silence before it could even settle in, “You were there. What happened?”

Matt sighed. “It’s a long story.”

“I have time.”

There was a fine line between saying too little and saying too much, and he wasn’t sure how long he could walk that line in the green zone before slipping. 

"The preliminary hearing... it was intense," Matt began, his words coming out in slow puffs of air, carefully choosing his every word. "With that I mean, emotionally draining for all of us. But Eliza, especially. The judge ruled in our favor, so we thought things would work out... When we left the courthouse, we thought we could move on, you know?" 

Happy nodded, his eyes glued to his lips as he hung on every word. 

"Well, needless to say, that also didn't work out. Viktor was talking to the cops and his lawyer was there and it was just... it was messy. And you know how she is; when Eliza wants something, you can't pull that woman back, no matter how hard you try. And I tried, but she still went to confront him."

His brows furrowed. "Confronted him?" he asked. “While he was talking to the press that already hates her? Is she crazy? You know what, that was a stupid question. Ignore that. Of course, she’s crazy. She’s never been short of that.”

Matt shrugged, his head nodding slightly. It was true; Eliza had a strong tendency to go crazy and get what she wanted whenever she wanted just by defying the odds and all possible rules. But that was exactly why he loved her so much. 

“Yeah,” he said. “Can’t argue with that. But she... she wanted answers, she wanted closure. I don’t blame her, I really don’t. You weren’t in that courtroom, so you wouldn’t know, but she went through hell and back in such a short amount of time. Seeing him get a platform to speak made him snap and I did consider letting her do what she wanted to do, believe me.”

“Well,” Happy found himself agreeing, “I’m not saying he deserved it, but…”

“He did deserve it. That bastard… he hurt her and he deserved a lot more than just being killed. He deserved the cruelest punishment known to men and I just hope that wherever he is, he gets fucking punished.” His eyes were absolutely wild behind his glasses. 

Happy matched the tone of his voice when he agreed once again. He wasn’t a religious man, but in this case, he hoped hell would make the man who did this to her suffer. Death was too kind for him, but there was also pain in death and he prayed to a God he didn’t believe him that he would meet his fate with the same pain he had caused Eliza and still continued causing her even beyond the grave. 

Matt took a deep breath. “But I did try to stop her because I knew she wouldn’t be able to live with herself if she seriously hurt another person again,” he said, “but before I knew it, chaos erupted and then everything went to shit.” He took another sip from his coffee, angry, almost, wishing it were a bottle of beer or something stronger. “Shots were fired, people were screaming, it was so loud, and Eliza was right behind him when it happened. I mean, right there. From what I heard, she had blood all over her. I shielded her, of course, but other than the three shots that killed Viktor, there weren't any more fired that day."

Dread filled Happy's eyes. "Is she... is she okay?"

"Physically, yes. But it was a shock for her, and she's been struggling to process everything. It's been... yeah, it's been a journey." Matt pinched his nose, fighting off the fatigue that started to settle in. "And she hasn't had it easy these past two days, so..."

“That’s why she hasn’t answered?”

He nodded. 

“Jesus Christ.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, “but you have to believe me when I say that I’ve done everything so far to protect her and I’m going to make sure she comes out of this alright. She just… Eliza needs time, Happy. Plain and simple. And you need to give those trying to find whoever did this time too. It was hard for me to accept at first too, but there’s no other way. She wasn’t the initial target, and she’s still alive. We have to hold onto that, you know?”

“Of course, I know that,” Happy said. His eyes stared emptily at the mug in front of him. “But-”

The sound of the bedroom door sliding open cut through their conversation. 

Matt had been so focused on picking the right version of the story that he lost focus on Eliza’s sleeping form. He missed the sound of the bed creaking and her heartbeat changing speed. As soon as the door started to open, he rose to his feet, his head tilted in her direction. 

“Sweetheart,” he said softly. 

She rubbed her eyes and looked at him, then Happy sitting at the dining table. 

“You okay? You shouldn’t be up. You should be in bed. I told you if you needed something, all you had to do was call for me.”

Meeting his worried eyes, she raised her hand and waved him off. “I’m fine,” she said. “Happy-” she turned to him. “I’m so sorry.” The nervous quiver in her voice moved to her hands as she fidgeted with them. They were hidden far in the sleeves of one of Matt’s sweaters. It was too hot outside to even be wearing wool, but she was expertly trying to hide the bandages on her knuckles, and her nervous ticks played along. It made it easier for her to keep up the facade. 

He stared at her, his eyes wide. The relief finally settled in fully, filling his heart to the brim. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t answer your calls or your texts. I didn’t pay attention to my phone and I just saw the messages you all left me in the past two days and I’m… I’m so sorry. I never meant to worry any of you.”

Happy rose from his chair and approached her. The circles under his eyes looked dark and evident as the sun hit them just right. He opened his arms, pulling her into a bone-crushing hug that she didn’t anticipate. 

He cursed under his breath. “Don’t ever do this to me again,” he told her, “you scared the living crap out of me. Oh, Jesus Christ.” 

He held her even closer, not wanting to let her go. He was scared that if he did, she would slip away or that he would lose her, and it was a fear that gradually paralyzed him and tuned out the initial relief he’d felt. 

From the moment she woke up from her nap and heard his voice in the living room, her body was on high alert. She realized she had abandoned that part of her life while she was so focused on herself. Tony left countless voicemails on her phone that still lay on the bedside table untouched, Happy did too. She skimmed over the messages and they were all pretty convinced she was dead.

The exhaustion was nothing like she had felt before. Her body ached, her muscles straining with every move, and she had battled with herself about whether or not to get out of bed and face him. She didn’t mean to, but she hurt him. She hurt him, Tony and Pepper, and everyone else who was so worried about her. She pushed away everyone and almost did the same to Matt, but he was persistent. He kept her alive, and she forgot about the world around them because right there, in the cozy apartment they shared, nothing existed but the two of them. She forgot what living felt like. Her existence didn’t feel all too real, so hearing Happy’s voice next door had been like a harsh slap to the face. 

She tried not to cry when he finally hugged her. “I’m okay,” she whispered, her voice muffled even more through his chest. 

“You need to be a lot more responsible with your phone.”

“I know.”

“You can’t keep doing that.”

“I know.”

“You almost gave me a heart attack.”

“I didn’t mean to,” she cut him off. “I was just so caught up, I didn’t think. My mind’s been all over the place lately. I had to take a break from life to sort this shit out and I’m sorry for not telling you guys I’m okay, but I’m here now and as you can tell, I’m fine, Happy. I’m okay.”

He took a step back to look at her. “You look exhausted,” he said. 

“I’m just tired, that’s all. Matt has been taking good care of me.”

“Good,” he glanced at the man next to them, “He better.”

“He has. He always does.”

“I appreciate that you have someone looking out for you, but please, the next time something like this happens, make sure you don’t disappear without a trace for two days. We’ve been worried sick. Tony, too, by the way.”

“That’s… unusual.”

“It just means that we care about you,” Happy corrected her. 

“I know and I’m sorry,” she said.

“I know you are, pumpkin. Just-” He hugged her again. “Don’t give me another heart attack. My blood pressure is already high and Tony is gonna kill me when he sees that my stats have changed for the worse.”

“I promise, I won’t.”

Happy's grip on her tightened briefly before he released her, giving her a gentle pat on the cheek. "We care about you, Liz, and we want to make sure you're safe. That's what family does, you know? We have each other's backs."

"Yeah, we do. Thank you."

Matt chose to step away and silently busied himself with the leftover dishes in the kitchen, still listening intently to their conversation. Eliza's heartbeat carried proof of how she truly felt, though, on the outside, she tried to shine brighter than the sun. She smiled at him, albeit a fake smile but Happy seemed to buy it. She made her voice sound more cheery than hoarse, and her body language spoke as openly as she could make it look even though open was the last word Matt would have used to describe her. He was worried, but he understood. He was the master of keeping secrets and sometimes you have to protect the people you love, which was exactly what she did. She protected Happy by not telling him the truth, and by not showing him how entirely hopeless and empty she felt inside, how much she was truly struggling, she eased his conscience. He was far too innocent to be dragged into their mess.

“You know, if you need anything,” Happy began then, “Tony and I are more than willing to help.”

“I’m fine,” she reassured him. “I have a roof over my head, a nice boyfriend and I have a job. What more could I possibly need?”

Mental stability would be a start. But that is something you can’t acquire on the market. 

“You’re right, I’m just worried about you. So if there’s anything you need, I want you to call me, okay?”

“I think I can manage that.”

“Thank you.”

As she led him to the door, she promised to call Tony back and explain, and she promised she would come around the compound soon. After talking to him at her father’s grave, they didn’t speak much other than the occasional conversation during the preparations for the preliminary hearing. He failed to do damage control when it came to the press, so he retreated. Tony Stark hated failure. He wasn’t used to it. 

Their foundation used to be strong, but it began to swindle one day and things weren’t the same as they once were. The circumstances changed. Her life changed. Tony changed. He wasn’t like a father to her anymore, just a man she occasionally spoke to because he hurt her in ways he couldn’t make up for. She forgave him, but the scars ran deep. She pushed all thoughts about him away and decided to move on, but he was still part of her life and whether she liked it or not, they were family. If her time as an Avenger taught her anything it was to appreciate what she had because it could be gone sooner rather than later. 

She had been so caught up in everything, she neglected what she had left of her family. She had Matt, Foggy, and Karen and they were her new family now, but the bond with the people she had once lived with was still there. She wanted to nurture it while at the same time, she was struggling to get over the events of the past and their role in it. She screwed up, her friends screwed up, and she had truly thought she would end up alone. Thankfully, she didn’t, but it had been incredibly close. 

Her head dropped to the door as it closed behind Happy. She took a deep breath. Anger boiled up in her veins. It glowed red hot and reminded her of a red towel held in front of the eyes of a bull. 

Eliza grabbed the nearest object she could find, which just happened to be Matt’s keys, and threw them against the wall with a loud, pained groan. Her hands were no longer covered by her sleeves, revealing the bandages underneath; they were close to getting soaked again, and Matt could smell the disinfectant mixing with her blood as it hit the sterile fabric around the wounds. 

He listened to her erratic heartbeat, but he knew better than to jump in. She had to channel her emotions, and as long as she didn’t channel them into hurting herself, he didn’t mind if she tossed his keys or the entire drawer across the room. 

Only when she raised her hand to land her fist on the wall did he reach out and pull her away. “That’s enough,” he said. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back into him. “You’re okay. You did so good, I’m proud of you.”

Her grunt turned into a weak whimper. “I hate lying to him,” she said. She was tired of the tears, but she wasn’t strong enough to fight them. 

“I know, I’m sorry.” 

“I just wish everything wasn’t so shitty…”

He shushed her as he rubbed her back, cradling her head with the other hand. She nuzzled into his chest. As he held her close, his hand wandered to her forehead. With her heartbeat still erratic and the sudden heat that seemed to erupt from her body, he couldn’t resist. He used his palm first, then used the back of his hand to confirm what he had already suspected. 

“You’re burning up,” he said. 

“I’m fine,” Eliza insisted. 

“Well, you have a fever, so I think you’re not fine.”

“What are you, a thermometer?”

“Technically, yes.”

“I can handle it. I’ve had worse.”

“I know that. I just think your knuckles might have gotten infected.”

She huffed. “It’ll go away.”

“Just admit you’re not feeling well,” Matt grabbed her face, “I just want to help you. Let me take care of you,” he said. 

Her muscles ached with the fatigue of the fever, and her skin was sticky with sweat. She hadn’t before realized how bad it got. 

Weakly, Eliza mustered a nod. He was grateful that he didn’t have to push her. He guided her to the couch, her limbs heavy as she walked. She sat down, waiting for him to join her, but he disappeared. The dishes in the kitchen clanged. She heard the tap run, the sound turning dull as it hit something soft. She even counted the seconds until he came back, her body locked up from the heat that burned her alive and the anxiety that she would be forever alone even though she wasn’t, and she hated feeling like her life wasn’t hers to control but belonged to the monsters in her head. 

Matt returned with a cold, wet towel and another cup of tea for her. She took it gladly, even took a sip of water as he draped the towel over her forehead. There wasn’t much else he could do. 

“Matt?” she asked weakly into the silence that had settled between them. 

He lifted his head with a soft smile. “Yes?”

“Can you… hold me?”

He nodded and sat down on the couch, his back turned to the armrest. She climbed into his lap, her back pressed flush against his chest. He held her close, his grip carrying enough strength to keep her from falling and making sure the badly glued pieces of her heart wouldn’t crack again. 

She leaned her head back against his shoulder and allowed herself to close her eyes. As the heat in her body rose, the exhaustion burned into her nerves. She clung to Matt, her one and only, her lifeline. He took that as a hint and tightened his hold around her, his arms wrapping around her frame completely. She was hot against him, but she needed him and he didn’t mind a little heat. He just wanted her to be okay, which she wasn’t, and that was something he desperately wanted to change. Being helpless was the worst feeling and he loathed it, especially when it came to the people he loved, and he had never loved someone as dearly as he loved the woman in his arms.

She relaxed as much as that was possible in her state, her lips parting slightly to let out a contented sigh. “Thank you,” she murmured, and he wasn’t sure if the slurring of her voice was due to tiredness or her being delirious. 

He whispered back into her ear, “Anything for you.”

But no matter how hard she tried, Eliza couldn’t find a way to restful sleep. She stayed awake in his arms, her mind consumed by thoughts. They were nowhere near close to finding the man who seemed to be putting Matt’s work to shame. He terrified the underworld of the city. He killed Viktor. And his alias suggested that killing criminals to enforce his twisted views of justice was simply his thing, and that turned into an even more terrifying realization because, in the end, Eliza was a criminal too. Perhaps that was why he visited her in the hospital, in the hopes she wouldn’t see him, and then left when she woke up. Perhaps the Punisher came to the hospital to silently tell her to count her days, that she was on his list of targets next, and that he would do anything in his power to make her join Viktor in hell, which Viktor had told her would happen soon enough. 

She didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of dying like him and then being forced to live with the thought that she failed to serve justice for all the other girls he hurt and whose deaths he was responsible for. 

Matt noticed she wasn’t asleep. He tried running his finger through her hair, but she still hadn’t found rest, so he chose to ask, “What’s on your mind?”

“Everything,” she admitted. 

In the solace of the dawning night, she was trapped in a spiral of what could have been, would have been, or should have been. She was trapped in the fears of the past and those of the future, and whenever she closed her eyes, she saw the faces of her victims and the faces of the men who ruined her life. She saw the childhood she had missed pass before her eyes. She was turned into a weapon and she never had a choice. And even now her past came back to haunt her every time she was happy, leaving her with no choice but to succumb to their painful claws of death. 

“What’s everything?” asked Matt. 

Eliza shrugged. “Just everything.”

“That’s quite a lot to think about.”

“Yeah.”

He paused. “What can I do to help you rest?”

“Unless you can shut my brain off, there is not much you can do.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. Just hold me a little longer.”

“I’ll always hold you.”

“I know, and that’s why I love you.”

Matt smiled, pulling her even closer, almost impossibly so, and pressed his lip to where he could reach her temple. She reached out to hold his cheek, her eyes closing again. She stroked over his stubble and the slight flush on his cheeks from feeling her touch so gently on his sensitive skin. 

“I love you too,” he said then. 

She mustered a smile just for him and craned her neck so she could kiss his lips, her hand never wavering when it came to stroke his cheek. 

“We’ll find a way to get through this, sweetheart, I promise you.”

“You really promise?” she asked, her eyes glossing over with unshed tears. They glistened in the soft yellow light of the ceiling lamp that mixed with the colors of the ads that played on the billboard as clear as day. 

He nodded, using what little space he had left to return the gesture and stroke her cheekbone with his thumb. The calloused tip felt good against her heated skin and she sighed again. 

“I promise,” he said. 

She had to hold on to that promise. He promised they would find a way and she chose to believe it because if she didn’t, the fear would eat her alive. 

Tag List: @acharliecoxedfan @gpenguin666 @lina-mar (& if you want to be added too, fill out this form!)

[hyrulecollective]

Uhh wars- I'm sending all the hugs your way kind sir 🫂🫂🫂

Moss you get double hugs 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

I am personally not a man, and as far I remember I didn't undergo any experiences such as what you have mentioned in your writing or even remotely alike or even just similar, but I personally know many men, in system and in real life outside of it, who were in situations such as that, or stuck in relationships that were beyond the word 'abusive' to them.

I honestly have no idea how to word myself so I'm probably gonna sound blunt or idiotic, but you're actually so brave to come forward with this. Most men stay in silence even after those experiences, or don't bother to try getting out of it due to what society is going to think of them. I hate that humanity as a society have made so many steps to accept the different and to give power to the girl, but also forgot that men also suffer, but are less prone to letting the world know of their hurt because men are taught to "suck it up" and "grow up" and "don't show emotion". Less likely to tell authorities because who will look at the man when so many bad women take advantage of the current form of feminism and abuse without punishment. "The man is the strong, and that's all they think about anyway".

It's worse in your situation, because you were in war, you fought for the existence of yourself and the many other children, the many kids that took weapon and fought under your command.

Moss was but a child, likely unaware of the danger and afraid of the promise of pain raining on him If he dare share (Geno filled me up on what happened yesterday, and I would also like to commend moss's bravery, you did a really good job kid. It scares when you live under this fear in the same house, especially when you have the belief you are Helpless rooted so deep in your head. But you took action, which is something not many can bring themselves to do. Really, you did an amazing job kid).

But you wars, did the same as the kid, you step forward without care for what the world will think, because the world has no right to judge you after so much you did for its sake.

I know you are older than me, and I know that I might come off the wrong way, but I hope the genuinity will come from my heart and pass to yours, and neither of you you won't Understand it in a wrong way when I say that "I'm proud".

I don't know how many people in your lives actually took the time to tell you how much they care about you, or maybe they assumed you will already know it yourself, but it's more grounding proof when it is said, so I'll say it again.

I'm very proud of both of you for taking this step

Moss, I'm saying this for two people, because if geno was out I know she would say it as well, im very proud of how brave you became.

(I do not know if you wish to reply to this, and if you do you planned to do it through the asks and not throughout the dm option, but regardless I hope this message soothed the pain even if a bit and even if momentarily only. I know this is a daily struggle and a constant fear, so I hope I managed to do good than bad. We do not know each other beyond the screen, and even through it our acquaintance can be deemed as rather brief by most standards, but I personally would like you to know, at least with us you will not find someone who will not pin the blame in its rightful place, or who will try to lessen the fact you are a victim and your voice has the right to be heard.)

- Digi

Ah- thank you but please don’t touch me- ^^💧 /nm(/gen)

Thank you, I’m pretty lucky itsdosnt bother me much kto share kthis stuff publicly, its helps other people realize they’re not alone, thaats what I want

I was fairly lucky compared fo moss, poor kid went through a hell I couldn’t imagine. Atleast cia didn’t try to pretend she wasn’t hurting me.

-Wars, finally able to thyp ahain

Sorra

[mentalblabbermouth]

I tell myself I am free to be silly and that includes feeling good about posting another ramble from my google docs

So anyway aside from Mario, I am also really into BATIM and when BATDR came out I lost my mind. Like 2017 me came crawling back from the depths of my mind and binge-watched Superhorrorbro Mike's gameplay when it came out. Distinctly remember having to pause at the biggest plot twist and just pace around my senior studio, rambling like a madman. (Little did I know someone was right outside the door, so whoever heard all that um no you didn't)

(From 9 Dec 2022) (Disclaimer: this is pure brainrot I guess but if you manage to read all this thanks so much! I get insecure about it, but I also really want to share my ramblings in the hopes of someone getting it so yeah)

Shut up I’m still thinking about Audrey, I have thoughts and questions like did she start out as a baby? How long did she even get to grow up with Joey before he died? If her story starts in 1973, and the first game was in 1963, and she has to be in like her early twenties, and Joey died in 1971, then what? That’s two years! Had she always known and just forgot when she entered the machine? Did he put her in an orphanage when she was little? And how did she even end up at Archgate? 

   Maybe she did get to grow up with her father and forgot when she entered the machine and she rediscovers the book with his notes, not understanding its true meaning. Nathan had promised to look after her, which is why she’s an animator at Archgate. She probably told him what happened to his son and after the damage the machine did, it hit the news and Gent got word and secretly took it away.

   Come to think of it, Allison works at Archgate, so maybe Audrey later realizes Allison Connor and Allison Pendle are the same.

   ALSO! Audrey didn’t recognize Henry, but she has the drawing he gave to Joey, so what? Does she put two and two together later on? Did she never get to meet the real him? Did Joey never talk about him? 

   THEORY TIME: There’s also the whole “uncle” thing. I feel like, bear with me here I promise, Audrey’s somehow connected to Henry. Think about it! She’s a talented animator and hard worker, literally employee of the month at Archgate. He originally created the toons and you know Joey basically took the credit. And the whole soul thing. You can’t separate the creation from the creator no matter what, and I think it’s parallel between Audrey with Joey and Bendy with Henry. Look at this weird family. Audrey’s soul was made, maybe from a piece of Joey’s soul, and a part of that was given to Bendy when they made it to the real world. 

   In “Dreams Come to Life”, Joey mentions how he shared his soul with Henry, so obviously the two were close, and whether they like it or not they influenced each other. What I’m getting at is that some of that artistic talent and creativity may have seeped into Audrey. If the Ink Machine is like a pen or canvas, and ink stains, then who's to say that in creating Audrey, parts of her are composed of the important people in Joey’s life: Allison and Henry? Writing it down kind of makes sense. Now, of course similar dialogue lines are probably just references to the first game, but what if?

As a treat for making it this far and while I have the confidence rn, here's some old-ish art technically from last year? I just like the potential between strained character relationships, the drama of it all ✨🤌.

Now, of course neither of the games are perfect and the storyline itself is kind of mixed up/confusing in some places, and this all may be a bunch of hogwash, but that's the beauty of fan work I guess, filling in the pieces and connecting dots like that one Charlie Day meme.

Once again I cast my lot into the digital sea of content like a note in a bottle, hoping to be uncorked and read by a stranger in the midst of multitudes, received not with scorn, but acceptance and understanding.

Anyway that's all for today, as always, thanks for reading!

[leavingtarshish]

Testimony part 4

8th and 9th grade were pretty stable for me. I was still going to youth group on Wednesday nights and still seeing “the guy.” I did feel strongly about Jesus during this phase, but I had adopted the “once saved always saved” lie and felt that God’s word didn’t apply to me. In my mind I could drink, smoke, have sex, etc and it was fine. The summer going into 9th grade is when I started drinking, and that never stopped.

Towards the end of my 9th grade year I almost died from anaphylactic shock again, but this time on vacation with family in Mexico in an area where nobody spoke English. I won’t go on with the whole story but in a nutshell the ambulance was taking an extraordinarily long time to arrive while I was waiting on the beach with my uncle and this woman ran up to me and asked me in English if I had anaphylaxis. I said yes, she ran off, and came back with several Benedryl tablets for me to chew up. She said her daughter goes into anaphylactic shock too and that her daughter wasn’t with her on that trip but something told her to pack them.

I try to not talk too much about all confirmations and words I’ve received from my mom in my testimony, but I do think sharing the following is important.

One night in 9th grade I woke up to my mom praying for me in my bed. I didn’t think much of it and went back to sleep. Later (I don’t remember how long after…maybe years) she revealed to me that that night she had a vision of her old familiar/monitoring spirit hijack a car I was riding in. My mom was on fire for Jesus during this time and was starting to share her testimony online. “The guy” had also recently accepted Christ as his savior, which had been preceded by a very intense saga of spiritual warfare in his life. So the enemy was probably not thrilled with me or my mom. My mom said she had never had a vision of that intensity before and asked for God’s intervention in what she saw. She says God told her that what she saw would not be prevented, but to “fear not.”

Time went on somewhat uneventfully. One night around 9th grade I was praying at my dad’s house. I usually didn’t pray at my dad’s house because his house was where I always had an intense desire to masturbate. It’s weird to type this but it would be wrong to leave out my sexual struggles throughout this story. Nevertheless, I was praying one night, which hadn’t been a common practice for me since my boyfriend had recently been saved. It’s like I got what I asked for and then just forgot about God. But, during this prayer I had a vision of a strawberry ice cream cone and a large black spider emerging from it. Strawberry ice cream was what I ate on me and my boyfriend’s first date. I was confused by this and never really prayed about it afterwards. I think I believed the spider represented sexual sin that I ultimately wasn’t willing to give up. I later realized that this spider was a demon that was allowed into my life through my sinful relationship with this person, and that demon stayed with me for many years later. I will get back to this.

Me and my mom moved to a neighboring town for the start of my 10th grade year because the garage apartment we had previously rented wasn’t in the best area. I was excited about this move because several people I knew went to my new high school. Things did start out great but only lasted that way for a few weeks. This is how my mom’s car hijack vision unfolded:

At this point me and my boyfriend were starting to become on and off but neither one of us knew how to walk away. The trouble happened when I learned my childhood sweetheart went to my new school. His name was “Matt” and we had known each other from birth because our mom’s were best friends from their junior high days. But they had lost touch for issues with Matt’s mom that I won’t mention. So, the point is that it had been years since me and him had seen each other and there were instant sparks. I ultimately broke up with my boyfriend of all that time and briefly started dating Matt but then I found out Matt was involved in some drugs that were heavier than what I was used to being around. There was a series of events that occurred within a short amount of time and soon I found myself in this tangled web of people and drama and lies which was completely out of character for me. When my ex boyfriend found out I had been involved with Matt they both got into a really bad fight and my ex showed up at my apartment in the middle of the night calling me a bitch and a whore and all sorts of things. I problem is that I really believed all the things he said because the only self worth I ever had was still in him.

I was so overwhelmed with guilt and shame in the coming days that I tried to kill myself with a concoction of pills from the medicine cabinet. Wait, let me back up to the morning that this happened. I woke up on this particular morning with a Good Charlotte song stuck in my head called “the day that I die.” I went throughout my classes that day at school, and when PE came I changed privately in a locker. I usually changed out in the open with everyone else, but for some reason that day I did it privately. I believe in that stall was when a demon entered me and told me to kill myself. It was this overpowering thing that I can’t really describe. It was like someone just told me to kill myself and my spirit said “okay” plain and simple. There was no debating. This was not preconceived. This was not a cry for help. The idea made sense to me. I felt so guilty for hurting this ex boyfriend that I truly believed there was no other way out. I believed that I didn’t deserve to live and that it was my life’s purpose to lead this guy to Christ and since I had thought I had done that, I had completed my life’s mission and no longer had a place on this earth. I spent the rest of the day completely numb, writing letters to everyone that mattered most to me.

My mom didn’t get home until later that evening which gave me time to swallow bottles of every otc medicine we had. I went to dinner with my ex that evening and didn’t say a word to him about what I had done. In my mind, I would easily fall asleep that night and not wake up. But when my mom got home and I was still awake, I started to panic. The sight of her and the love I felt for her made me regret everything. She asked me if I was okay and I told her my allergies were just bothering me. She went to the cabinet for benedryl, thinking I was started to go into anaphylactic shock. That’s when I started to panic. All the truth came out and within minutes I was in an ambulance.

[writer-akihiko]

Hi! If that's okay could i request some angst for the first years (+Grim, Crewel and Crowley? Platonic only for them)

MC/Yuu runs away from NRC due to all the shit they've been put through because of Crowley not doing his job, they do finally find them some days later but MC refuses to go back to NRC and tells Crowley that they despise him.

Reactions?

First Years + MC Running Away [+Plat!Crewel & Crowley]

I love the angst for this, and planning the emotions that they would feel! The dorm leaders also make a cameo in Crewel and Crowley's part. Cut for length.

Warnings: Angst, Mentions of Emotional Manipulation, Curse Words, Wounds and Mild Violence. Please read at your own discretion.

"I'm not going back."

"Wh... What?" He was astonished. "YN... I've looked far and wide for you- please-"

No words left his mouth as you stepped away from him, tears in your eyes and you were going to make a run for it again.

Sebek Zigvolt

Sebek was in a dilemma. He wanted to go back to NRC because of Malleus, but you refused to. You still meant a lot to him of course, but he still wanted to stay in NRC. He reached out to you, holding you in place with his Fae strength.

"YN, we have to go back. Please don't be unreasonable," He begged. There was no way he wasn't going without you.

You shook your head, trying to tug against Sebek as much as possible. There was no way you could fight against him, and you wouldn't want to hurt him either. "Sebek... Sebek just let me go. I'm just a human and..."

The moment was ruined with Crowley showing up, yelling at Sebek to bring you back. You mustered as much of your voice as you could. "No! Don't take me back!" You screamed at Sebek, who was holding you in a lock. "I hate him! I hate him, don't do this to me Sebek!"

His grip almost loosened at you saying you hated Crowley. Actually, he thought it was directed at him. It took a lot of effort for Sebek not to cry because he knew. He knew how much you didn't deserve the things you faced. The Overblots, the treatment and sheer alienation from other students, Crowley's neglect... He knew.

He blamed himself for getting so caught up in what his Master was doing that he forgot to care about you. When he found out that you ran away, he felt as if he deserved it. He pulled you in, tucking you against his chest and allowing you to cry.

He didn't bring you closer to the others, neither did he bring you away. He kept you close to him, as your tears stained his perfect uniform. Not a word came from him when you cried into him. It was kept that way, as the half-Fae dared to growl at Crowley and anyone else that took a step closer to you.

"YN... You're safe with me, alright?"

Ace Trappola

He told himself that he wouldn't get mad, but your refusal just rubbed salt in wounds as he remembered the sleepless nights of trying to find you. Beneath all of it, he was scared. He was scared that he lost you to some one else. He was scared that this world never suited you, and you finally went to your own, leaving him alone.

"What do you mean you're not going back?! YN, stop screwing around with me!" He screamed, throwing his magic pen to the ground. At this point, he was pissed about anything relating to magic. Magic was useless when it came to finding you.

"I'm not going so leave me alone Ace..." You told him, tears nearing at your eyes. "I don't want to. I don't want to. I'm done with Crowley's shit and I'm done with NRC."

You took a running start, but Ace caught you, pushing you to the ground. His expression caught you off-guard. He was crying, eyes puffy and tired as his face was pale, as if he hadn't gotten enough sleep.

"You're done?! How could you... I..." He didn't know what to say. You were right. You had dealt with enough. You never deserved it... If it weren't for him and his troublemaking ways... Maybe you wouldn't have to suffer...

"I'm sorry..." He coughed out, his voice strained. He kept you pinned on the ground, as his tears flowed with yours. "I'm sorry for being an idiot. I'm sorry for dragging you into trouble. I know you don't deserve it but I'm an asshole that does anyway..."

"Ace..."

"But!..." He went on, his eyes glossing over as he admired you once again. Oh... you were beautiful to him, even if you were crying in his arms. "But I'm selfish. I didn't want to let you go so I went after you instead... So hit me if you want, scream or punch me... I don't care, just don't leave me."

He sat up, pulling you into his lap, his chin under your head. "I was so lonely without you YN..."

"Godammit I love you..." He choked out, his tears never-ending. You both sat there, hugging each other as if it were your last days. You didn't dare to let go of him this time.

Deuce Spade

He didn't know how to respond. All he knew was that he had to hold onto you before you ran away from him once again. "YN... Wait... Don't leave!"

He wondered if he even made the right choice to stay on the side of bringing you back. From just the look of you, he knew you were tired. He knew those responsibilities were never yours. Your suffering just proved to Deuce how powerless he was. Maybe that's why he wanted to bring you back... as proof that he could do something for you.

"YN... I'm sorry..." He said, holding you close to him. There wasn't a thing he could do for you. All you went through... It was Crowley's irresponsibility. He did this to you. Deuce's grip tightened on you, as he though of what it could've done to your psyche. "YN... YN... I'll make sure he doesn't touch you. I'll make sure that he never comes near you again... YN, you trust me right?"

For all the times he wasn't with you, he was determined to make up for it. Deuce wasn't going to let you suffer through this alone, even if it means he gets hurt. It was better for him to get hurt than you, even though he was so desperate to ask Crowley to find you.

You nodded, hiding into Deuce's chest. His heart was beating so fast, most likely from the never ending search for you. You never regretted running away, but you missed Deuce and your other friends, and Grim too. The one thing you regretted was accepting Crowley's offer to stay here.

"I don't care what you do to me," You told him. "Just don't take me back. I don't to go back. I don't want to go back to NRC..." Your body trembled at the thought of moving back to NRC, but all thoughts of it were abandoned as you saw Crowley approach you.

You screamed, but he never touched you. Deuce stood in the way, as he shielded you with his own body. He pushed you back, as he grabbed tightly onto his magic pen. Abandoning all morals of propriety, he glared hard at the principal.

"...Don't touch her."

Jack Howl

He wasn't going to let you run away this time. "Don't move."

Jack couldn't believe that he found you so quickly. No, that wasn't it. He couldn't believe that you were still here. Despite him having a scent on you, you could've been miles away without him knowing. He thought you went back to your own world. He thought you hated him, but by the way you hugged him, it reassured him of any thoughts he had.

There was not single part of you that did not tremble when Jack told you he wanted to take you back. Your sheer refusal turned into an argument quickly, as you listed all the sufferings you went through. It was confusing and agonising for Jack to listen to you. He knew you needed this, but some of the things you said sent shivers down his spine.

"I…"

"It's okay YN. You don't have to go back," He whispered to you. Jack's ears flattened as yours tears made your eyes puffy. He got flustered since he didn't know how to comfort you any further, busying himself with wiping away your tears instead.

Jack was sharp. He knew Crowley was out to get you, even if you didn't want to. He wanted the easy way out, but Jack wasn't going to give him the chance. There was no reason why Jack shouldn't help you… but he'd be lying if he weren't scared of what would happen if you both were caught.

You and Jack had the same train of thought, so you shook your head. "No Jack… I have to…" You told him, your voice raspy. "You already found me and there's no use. You… You can't outrun him with me…"

Jack growled, baring his teeth at the person who caused you such misery. His claws were out, as he hid you behind him. You didn't make a sound, paralysed by the very person that pulled you in this hell. You only met eyes with Crowley for a moment, as the world swirled around you.

"I know I can't… But I'm sure as hell am going to try…" Jack ran away from the principal, with you tightly in his arms as he made a run for it.

Epel Felmier

He was more than angry. He never understood why you and him but now it was evident. It was because both of you were stubborn. You both always tried to grasp what you wanted, and in the light of attaining it, you both always made a run for it. For him it was power… and for you, it was freedom.

"Damn it!..." He cursed underneath his breath, quickly removing his jacket and covering your head in it. You were probably hungry and tired. You were probably scared. What was he supposed to do?...

How did it come to this? He was supposed to be the one that supported your desires, no matter how big or small as you did the same to him. But now, with him using Crowley to get to you… What was he doing? This was hurting you, not helping you.

He moved away from you, ripping off the magical tracking device off of him. "You damn liar!" He screamed. "How dare you hurt her like this… Do you think I'm some stupid puppet?! Like hell you're gonna reach her with my help!"

Epel stomped and tore the device apart, grunting at every time the magic deflection hit him. He didn't stop, ripping further into the grass as he cried for your sake. He never meant to do this to you. He got up, taking you by the wrist and pulling you much deeper into the forest.

"YN… YN we have to go. They were tracking me and they- they might…"

You stopped in your tracks.

"YN?"

You hugged Epel, holding him tight. He snapped out of his delusions, turning to panic about your well-being. "Are you hurt? If you can't walk I'll carry you, but we have to get away-"

"Stop Epel," You said, taking his hands into yours. "Stop… It's okay… I'm okay… I can't make it any further and I don't blame you… I just… wanted it to not hurt for a bit."

He broke down in your arms, as you both collapsed to the ground. Filled with exhaustion, you could only grip to his hands weakly. Before your eyes darkened, you remembered his last words.

"I'm sorry…"

Divus Crewel

He's horrified at your state. All his emotions were bottled for the time being. There was no reason for a puppy like you to be exposed to such horrid emotions from him. He shrugs off his fluffy coat, covering you in the coat, as he carries you in the coat.

Dire was quick to catch up to him, but alas, all that Divus had for him was disappointment. Even from teacher to teacher, no… even from magician to magician… all respect for Dire that he had vanished. The dorm leaders caught up with the principal, and from the looks of it, they were horrified.

"For this puppy to end up like this…"

No, he couldn't get angry now. He had to be the example to other students. Rosehearts, Al-Asim and Ashengrotto were in tears, while Draconia and Kingscholar were murderous. If it weren't the difference of authority, Divus would bet those two would maul Dire where he stood.

"Draconia. Schoenheit. Take YN away and treat her wounds," He commanded. Still wrapped in his coat, Malleus brought you to the others, as Vil observed for any of your wounds. Divus signalled the other students away as he took off one of his gloves, glaring at Dire. "I need to talk with the principal."

Dire was still, as Divus delivered a clean punch across his face. There was no need for further violence. It'd be an insult to what you suffered. Divus grabbed Dire by the collar, almost sneering at him. "Did you realise what you've done to that puppy? She's scared, she's suffered all because of you."

He left Dire alone. It's what he deserved. There was nothing to be done. If he further pummeled the crow man, he might just kill him right then and there. Divus, for now, had to be by your side as your father figure and welcome you back safely to NRC as you were meant to be. Before leaving, he picked up his sullied glove from the floor, saying his last to Dire.

"You don't deserve to be her father."

Dire Crowley

He was ashamed to use his magic on you, but he had to prevent you from running. It was a necessary measure, but the real thorns were your words that pierced through his heart. You yelled insults, curses and cusses at him as if you were held at gunpoint, your lungs exhausted from the constant shrieking.

"No no! Let me go," You begged. "I hate you, I hate you I hate you!" You chanted it as if it were a spell. "I wish you never took me in. Don't touch me!"

The words were enough for the magic to weaken, granting you your escape. Dire was not swift enough, but the Dorm Leaders were. They heard everything, every complaint you threw at Dire and every insult you had for him. Malleus caught you, but as soon you knew it was him, you pushed him away.

"No… NO! I am NOT GOING BACK!" You cried, holding your head in your hands, crouching into a ball. Leona quickly knocked you out. If you went on, you would've hurt yourself and the injuries you sustained from running away was concerning enough.

Against all odds, those seven turned to the principal, with faces of betrayal. All you had been through… They did not realise what burden Dire, and subsequently, they placed on you.

"Crowley… you were never gracious."

Dire was hopeless. He couldn't comfort you, he knew he couldn't be forgiven. He stood in his place, accepting his fate at the moment. He couldn't ask for your mercy nor forgiveness, and perhaps that was his fate. To be cursed by whoever he neglected.

"Please, take care of her for now."

[ptergwen]

If you do smut can you do like stark!reader x peter parker (spiderman) are dating 3-4 month and y/n and peter had their very fluff first time then next morning y/n has hickies all over her neck and her thights stomach... and tony/ her dad sees it and is confronting them with it😂 i love your stories 🤤

just saying hi

w/c: 2.5k

warnings: veryyyy suggestive, swearing, some pretty embarrassing moments

a/n: thank you babe! i didn’t write the actual smut but y’all can guess what happened 😭 also this is super long i couldn’t help myself

-

it was everything. it was everything you ever wanted your first time to be and more.

you’d brought up to peter during a make out session one night that you were ready to go farther than you two already have. there was one base you didn’t hit yet. the fourth, the final. you were thinking about it for a while before that, and peter would be lying if he said he didn’t.

your love has always been physical, whether it’s you kissing peter’s cuts after a mission or him tracing hearts on you with his fingers. there’s also the more sexual side of things. that part, you both enjoy just as much, maybe even a little more because you know exactly how to make each other feel good after all the trial and error.

what better way to combine the two than, well, making love?

last night was your sign from the universe, your go ahead to do it. you had the compound to yourselves because your dad had taken all the “big kids” out for the night. you’re both well into college, but he refuses to see you as adults. that meant no peter and no you. you two were a little offended until you realized you could make use of your alone time.

you started off searching for a movie. that turned into you wrestling peter for the remote because you didn’t feel like watching back to the furure yet again. wrestling turned into you on top of him, which turned into you kissing him, which turned into peter throwing the remote somewhere and carrying you up to your room with his lips still on yours.

neither of you had to say it. you were on the same page, same wavelength, two brains in one as peter layed you down and trailed his kisses lower and lower.

peter was so gentle with you, except for when you told him not to be. those were the times he didn’t hold back. he was attentive and sweet and showed you quite a few times how much he loves you. you showed him just the same. yeah, it was really everything.

“morning, baby. you awake yet?” peter hums against the shell of your ear, arms wound comfortably around you. “kinda,” you mumble back with a goofy smile. he presses his lips to your ear and nuzzles his face in the side of your neck. “kinda... how’d you sleep?” you can hear the grin in his voice. his nose nudges your bare skin where a fresh hickey lies and makes you scrunch your own up.

“good, really good. always love sleeping with you.” you’re both aware of the alternate meaning that has now. “funny,” peter lets out a breathy laugh against you and brushes his thumb over your stomach where your shirt got ridden up. you sigh, enjoying his soft touch and reaching behind you to play with his curls. they’re a lot messier than usual from you tugging on them all last night.

peter removes his face from your neck and carefully turns you onto your other side. you’re facing him now, eyes trained on his concerned expression. “hey, just wanna check. how are you feeling? still sore?” a tiny smile stretches your face. he really does care about you and how you feel after everything. you know for a fact most other guys wouldn’t.

“i mean, yeah. you were... it was a lot, but i’ll be fine in a few days i think.” the mention of peter being a lot makes color rush to his face. you laugh quietly at that, cupping one of his cheeks that’s turning pink. “oh. i, um, i didn’t know that. sorry.” he smiles shyly as you smooth your thumb over his warm skin. “don’t be. it wasn’t as bad after i... adjusted a little,” you reassure him, making him lean into your palm.

“i really am sorry, y/n/n. can i make it up to you?” peter checks with you, eyes going up from yours to down your body. he hooks a finger in the waistband of your pajama shorts. “make you feel better?” the way he finishes his question with a bite of his lip is definitely tempting. so is your stomach yelling at you to put some food in it. you’ll have to wait.

“later. right now, you can make me breakfast,” you beam at him and take his hand. peter pushes his palm against yours, letting you lace your fingers together as he puffs some air out of his cheeks. “yeah, that’s gonna go well.” “i’m supervising. it will.” you capture his lips in a kiss, one he instantly reciprocates, free hand resting on your hip. just as it’s heating up, you break it.

“i’m hungry for actual food,” you giggle and roll out of his embrace. “ok, ok, ok. let’s go see what we have,” peter gives in with a chuckle, grabbing the same hand he was just holding and following you down to the kitchen.

he ends up popping some frozen waffles into the toaster, you sitting up on the counter with your phone out while he struggles through the different settings. “should i put it on bake? no, that doesn’t sound right,” he talks to himself with eyes squinted in concentration. “your dad made this thing so... detailed.” it’s an old stark industries toaster, one with options you probably don’t even need.

“yeah because he loves his toast, so maybe don’t break it. he’ll kill you or something,” you half playfully half seriously suggest. peter is one clumsy guy. he tsks at you and crouches down to read the words on the dial. there’s conveniently a setting for waffles, so he hits that one. he’s not sure how he hadn’t noticed it before.

since he’s down there, he takes one of your ankles in both hands and starts to kiss up your leg. it tickles when he gets to your knee, drawing a giggle out of you, but your phone still blocks his face. you’re doing it on purpose. “baby,” peter tries to get your attention in a soft voice. he presses a couple more kisses to your knee. you have to hold your breath so you don’t laugh again.

“baby girllll,” peter drags out, lips moving up your thigh. he nudges your phone with his nose much like a puppy would. “aye, i’m talkin’ to you here,” he says in a fake new york accent. you finally put it down next to you. “i’m listening.” you’re giving him a satisfied smile as he goes back to kissing you.

“just saying hi,” he looks up at you and moves your shorts aside while he kisses further and further to where you want. you scoot closer to him on the counter.

that’s when he stops. not only stops, gasps in horror. “what?” you ask quickly, his eyes fixed on your inner thighs. “i kind of, uh, marked you up. like, a lot.” he runs a finger gently over the bruised skin. you’re suddenly very aware of it now. it doesn’t exactly hurt, just feels bumpy and weird. you peer down at yourself to see the damage, eyes going wide.

“shit... they’re on my neck, too,” you remember, murmuring to him. you’ll have to cover these up before everyone gets home. worry flashes across peter’s face. “oh my god, i didn’t even realize. it- it was dark and you told me-“ “pete, it’s okay. it’s pretty hot,” you stop his rambling, reaching down and putting a hand on his shoulder. he frowns up at you.

“really? are you sure i didn’t go too far? because you can tell me.” you’ve always appreciated how much peter genuienly values your thoughts on things, in the bedroom and in other parts of your relationship. it does lead to a lot of second guessing, though. you squeeze his shoulder and let out a breath. “i’m sure, okay? it’s really not that serious. i’ll just change so no one can see.”

peter winds an arm around one of your legs, body relaxing ever so slightly under your touch. “okay.” he gives your thigh one final kiss, then rests his chin on it. “what about your neck?” “uh...” you hadn’t considered that yet. “makeup? a scarf?” you’ve seen enough tv to know neither of those work, but they’re your only options.

“yup. mr. stark is really gonna kill me now,” peter says under his breath, tensing up all over again. you furrow your eyebrows at him. “what? we’re literally grown adults, we can do whatever we want-“

tony claps loudly as he steps into the kitchen, announcing his return home. peter jumps up from between your legs faster than fast. he moves so he’s next to you, and you hop down from the counter.

“hello, daughter of mine. spider of man,” your dad greets you two, you pulling down your shorts with a plastered on smile. “or would it be man of spider?” he plucks an apple from the bowl on the table as he ponders his question. steve and wanda file into the room next. “second one,” peter replies, grinning a little too much to be normal. tony takes note of that.

wanda comes over to the fridge for a snack, which is close to where you and peter are. “how was last night?” you ask her to take the attention off you two. wanda settles on a yogurt and turns to you. “it was good. we shared a few hotel rooms, had our own party.” she glances over at peter, a knowing smirk playing on her lips. “seems like you two had a fun night of your own.”

peter’s mouth drops open. “how did you-“ he forgot she could read his mind and now knows everything that happened. you slap a hand over your forehead. “you couldn’t think about anything else? for, like, a minute?” you whisper yell at him. he uses his eyes to plead with you. “i’m sorry! i was looking at the hickeys-“ he realizes what he’s saying. “crap.”

shooting you a wink, wanda shuts the fridge and goes to join the rest of the team in the living room. lucky for you and peter, steve started lecturing tony about washing his fruit before he eats it. he didn’t hear any of that. there’s still the problem of your visible hickeys that you have zero seconds to hide.

“how the fuck am i supposed to cover these? they’re right in the center, peter!” you panic, your heart starting to race as peter fumbles for a dish towel. that’s the best he could come up with? “no!” you toss it back at him. he throws it on the counter with a pained look. tony and steve make their way over to you.

“oh, hush. a couple of deadly pesticides won’t shake me, stevey boy,” tony insists and takes another big bite of his apple. steve huffs in disapproval and crosses his arms. “you’re a big baby, tony. if you’re not gonna do the right thing, at least buy organic-“ with the world’s longest sigh, tony chucks his apple into the open garbage can.

“there. no more apple discourse.” steve shakes his head at your dad’s behavior. “that was a waste. you could’ve finished it.” “not with your nagging into my literal ear.” steve raises his hands in surrender before making his way out of the kitchen. tony side steps past him and over to you. “enough of that now. let’s have a welcome home hug from my girl.”

you share a look with peter, a look of pure fear that’s in both of your eyes. he’ll definitely notice the hickeys if he gets that close to you. he holds out his arms expectantly while peter scratches the back of his own neck. “sure, dad. welcome home.” an awkward smile on your lips, you bury your face in your dad’s chest and wrap your arms around him in one motion. this way, he didn’t have time to see you from too close up.

peter exhales in relief at the narrowly avoided disaster. that’s until tony makes a request. “missed me that much, kiddo, huh? come out of there.” “but, i’m so comfortable. i wanna stay like this,” you insist, a niceness to your voice tony immediately sees through. he drops his arms from around you, eyeing peter suspiciously, who averts his gaze to the floor.

“nuh uh, you did something. both of you,” your dad states, taking a step to stand between you and peter. peter gulps down a breath before speaking. “mr. stark, it was-“ tony holds up a hand. “don’t worry, kid. i’ll figure it out.”

he gives peter a proper stare, searching him for clues of some sort. it’s a good thing he isn’t wanda because the details of your night would have been exposed. he couldn’t find anything, so now it’s your turn. he’s a little disappointed you’re the one hiding something.

“oh, y/n. not you,” tony sighs as he gives you a looking over. he starts with your face, your eyes following down as his do. it’s when he gets just past your chin that he sees them. the little hickeys littering your skin, some already deep shades of purple. he rips off his glasses in disbelief.

“absolutely not.” he closes his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose with the same hand his glasses are in. “i’m not seeing this. i’m not seeing this if i don’t look.” you scoff at his reaction. “dad, you know we’re together. you can’t expect us to not...” “don’t say it,” tony begs, getting the urge to hurl his half eaten apple. he turns and faces peter.

“parker, you really did all of that?” peter only blinks, nervously meeting the eyes of his mentor. “to my daughter?” tony adds on to scare him even more. “i- i-“ a burst of frustration comes out of peter. “you left two teenagers alone the whole night. what’d you think was gonna happen?” he’s shocked at his own words, his face showing it. tony raises his eyebrows. both your hands cover your mouth.

not wanting to deal with peter, tony addresses you instead. “i don’t care how you do it, cover those up. don’t let me see them ever again. understood?” you nod a good amount of times and reach for peter’s hand. he’s about to give it, then tony glares down at what’s happening. peter pulls back immediatelty. “understood. we’ll, um, do better next time,” you agree, tony winching at the idea of a next time.

“you, parker... treat a lady with a little more respect, eh?” tony clicks his tongue at him. he’s referring to all the hickeys. peter’s lips form a line, a sarcastic one that says oh well. “i tried, mr. stark, but y/n wanted me to-“ “christ, that’s enough.” tony furiously shakes his head and starts to walk away from you two. “never again!”

you’re thanking god when he sets off for the living room, you hiding your face in peter’s chest, his face in your hair. “that was terrible. that was the worst thing ever,” you say into him. “i’m sorry, baby. we gotta be more careful.”

it’s not over yet because then, the toaster dings. you’d completely forgotten about the waffles. you and peter both separate with your millionth shared look of terror. tony comes rushing back into the room, very familiar with that noise.

“first you destroy my daughter, now my toaster? pete... you’re in for it, kid.”

[visionofhope04]

Hii I was lowkey wondering if you would do something maybe like a one shot of neglected where reader is older (18-20) and dipped out of the house and became a singer and one of her songs basically exposed them for how they treated reader and in like an interview she full on tells them how she doesn’t even talk to them and like only Jason

This is literally perfect. I love this idea! I was planning on making a singer batsis reader anyway so here you go! I'll be making this part 4 of the series instead of a one shot. There’s a bit of angst. Btw, thanks so much for your support everyone! I'm glad you enjoy this series! Feel free to request anything you'd like besides smut as well!

This is the longest thing I have ever written so there will be a part 5. I planned on this being the last part but it's just so much. It’s not proofread and neither are all of the other parts because I post at 1 am most of the time lol. Hope you like it!

f/n = friend name

Y/G/N = your group name

N/S = news station

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 (Current) Part 5

---

You were sick of it. Sick of how even after confronting them about how you felt and almost dying because of it, they still neglected you. You couldn't wait to move out at the age of 18, even if it proved to be a struggle. You had taken mini jobs since you turned 15 and saved up since then. You just couldn't see them anymore as it would remind you of how they treated you that day at that hospital. None of them apologized either. They just pretended it never happened and continued to ignore you. The media had a field day with speculation of what had happened but eventually stopped because Bruce had claimed it was “just a bad case of the flu” which they believed.

Jason was always the only one that would talk to you. He was the only one that actually cared enough to make sure you were taking proper care of yourself and that you wouldn't have a repeat of what happened. He took you places, spent time with you and gave you advice. You even had a tradition where you'd always meet up at the manor's library every week at the same time that same day every week and just have a mini book club together. He always made time for you and never bailed on you.

So on your 18th birthday, he helped you move out. You managed to rent a small apartment in Star City with the money you had saved up. It wasn’t that close to the manor which was a good thing. The neighborhood wasn’t good but it wasn’t as bad as Gotham’s neighborhoods so you would be fine. You could handle yourself with your assassin training if needed. You also managed to get hired at a cafe which was about a five minutes walking distance from your apartment.

It had taken a while but eventually, you had packed all of your belongings into color coded containers and moved them into Jason’s car with his help. You didn’t say goodbye to anyone as you had no friends to say bye to and you knew that your so called “family” couldn’t care less about what you did with your life. ‘This is it, hopefully the last time I’ll ever be near this place.’ You thought. You didn’t plan on stepping foot in Gotham ever again after you left. It would bring back too many memories you prefer to keep buried away deep inside your mind.

The car ride to Star City was entertaining. You and Jason conversed the whole time, telling jokes and listening to his funny tales with the radio playing softly in the background. Eventually, a song you both loved came on and you both started yell-singing along to the lyrics. You wished those moments could be permanent. You were both so carefree and nothing else mattered besides having fun and enjoying yourselves.

You now stood in the doorway of your new apartment, admiring your new home. Jason and yourself had just finished unpacking all of your belongings. You really liked how it looked and thought you both did an amazing job at designing the place perfectly according to your style. Jason, unfortunately, had to leave in order to avoid raising suspicions. Once you both said your byes, he left you to your apartment.

Jason drove back home in silence. He hated to admit it but he would miss you dearly. You were always there for him and helped him with anything. You tried your best to always comfort him and make him feel better on his darkest days and it would always work. Somehow you seemed to always have the right words to say or knew exactly what to do to help him. Out of everyone he was closest to you. He assumed it was because he could relate to you the most. More so how you felt. He’d felt like the black sheep of the family before you came, and he was. When you came, you took that role from him. It pained him to see how much their insults would affect you, even if you were good at hiding it. He could just tell.

Jason made it back to the manor after a while and went straight to the library. He didn't want to deal with the others. After the whole hospital situation, he'd never really bother interacting with them. He hated how they treated you as if you didn’t exist and hated how much pain they had caused you and that they didn’t even care. He guessed that they'd probably be doing something for Damian's birthday and forgot that you were his twin. They probably couldn’t even remember that Damian had a twin.

He made it to the library and pulled out one of his favorite books. He’d read it so many times you’d often joke that he could probably recite the whole book by heart at this point. Sitting down in a chair, he started to read. However, he couldn’t bring himself to stop thinking about what it would’ve been like if they treated you how they did Damian. The both of you were Bruce’s real children. You both even looked like clones of him! At first, Jason thought you would’ve been the favorite twin due to your personality. Even though you were twins, your personalities were polar opposites. You even refused to kill! You were trained by the League so why didn’t you kill as Damian did?

Jason knew you would benefit them greatly if you joined. You had self control, didn’t kill, could act perfectly, lie perfectly, do well under pressure, and not to mention your skills. Being raised by the League may have been torture, but you managed to gain incredible skills out of it. You could take on at least ten guys who doubled you in size and beat them within five minutes. You even bested Damian in spars and he was supposedly dubbed the “better twin” by Talia, so why hadn’t they let you join their nightly crusades like they had let Damian when the both of you first arrived?

Damian passed by your room but noticed something was off. He decided to take a look. He twisted the doorknob and pushed. The room which was once occupied by you now looked extremely plain and bare, stripped of all of its accessories. The only things left were the bed itself, multiple dressers, and a vanity. It looked as if it had been vacant the whole time. It might as well have been. Damian couldn’t really remember what it had looked like since he’s never paid much mind to it but he could tell there was a drastic difference. He knew that you disliked just leaving your room plain unlike himself and wanted at least something to make it look less boring.

He couldn’t help but wonder what had happened. Had you finally been kicked out by Bruce? Did you get shipped off to a boarding school like he had been suggesting to your father for years? He decided to go ask. He exited the room and closed the door behind him, taking off for Bruce’s office. Walking down the hall, he suddenly remembered that he had seen you leave with Jason. This meant that you were not at a boarding school like he had originally thought. But then why was your room vacant?

Instead of going to see Bruce, he decided to go see Jason and bring up the matter with him instead. He changed directions and headed to the library where he knew he’d find Jason. It was no secret that Jason was a book worm so Damian had a fifty percent chance of finding him there.

He entered the library and was immediately greeted with the sight of Jason sitting comfortably on a chair, legs crossed with a book opened in his hands. Jason didn’t bother to look up from his book as he spoke.

“What do you want Demon Spawn?”

“I’ve come to obtain the whereabouts of my sister.”

“You mean my sister?”

“She’s not your sister!” Damian exclaimed.

“Well I act more like a brother than you do.”

“Where is Y/N? Her whole room is bare.”

“That’s for me to know and you to find out.”

“Just tell me, you imbecile!” Damian said, growing increasingly frustrated by Jason’s blunt answers.

“She’s not here.”

“Then where is she?”

“Not here.”

“Just tell me already Todd, I have no time for your foolish games!”

“She moved out.” Jason said, giving in.

“What?! Where.” Damian demanded.

“Why would I tell you?”

“Because I demand to know!”

“Okay and?”

“Tell me!”

“No.”

“Why not!”

“Because you don’t even care.”

“And you do?”

“Yes, I actually do Damian! I’m there for her when she needs me the most. I’m there for her while she’s watching you live the perfect life that she’s just a background character in! While you and the others ignore that she even exists! I’m there for her when she breaks down and has panic attacks! And what were you all doing to try and help her? Nothing! Absolutely nothing!” Jason snapped.

“Y/N’s fine, I know my twin!” Damian screamed.

“Do you even know what her favorite color is?” Jason questioned in a harsh tone.

“...” Was Damian’s reply.

“Exactly! You don’t! You and the others have never cared about her, so why all of a sudden do you care now? You don’t know anything about her so don’t act like you do!” Jason then stood up and walked out of the room in a fit of rage.

Damian stood there, shocked. Had Jason just refused to answer his question? He was about to follow him but decided against it. Why was Damian going to chase Jason down just for her? She was just an annoyance, a mistake, imperfect. He had been wanting to get rid of her for so long, so why doesn’t he feel relieved? Why does he feel guilty? He decided to stop dwelling on it and get on with life. He figured it would happen eventually if it hadn’t happened then.

---

It had been a year since that day. The day you left your old life behind and started a new life, a better one. One where you weren’t constantly ignored. One where you actually had more than one person care about you. Instead of seeing yourself as a failure and disappointment, you now saw yourself as an amazing person (which you always were). You had been going to a community college in Star City. You made many friends there and started up a music career with three of them.

Their names were f/n, f/n and f/n. You all started off by taking random gigs anywhere you could. You performed covers of songs and would receive standing ovations all the time. Seeing as your group was well liked, you decided to write and produce your own songs. At the age of 19, Y/G/N released their first album. It went viral within a day and everyone was talking about it. After a week, several articles were posted, praising your work. News Stations talked about all the records Y/G/N managed to break. People started to stream it like crazy, and you couldn’t be happier with all the positive feedback you were receiving.

You had been a Wayne once, meaning you had experience in dealing with the media. Since you had already been used to it, you knew you’d all eventually be invited to interviews. So, when you had received an email stating how N/S wanted a one on one interview with you, you weren’t sure how to feel. You weren’t looking forward to interviews with your whole group, let alone one where you would be alone. You knew how unfiltered interviewers could be and didn’t feel comfortable with it.

However, you decided it would be best to go. So here you were, sitting in front of the interviewer in an uncomfortable chair preparing for the interview to start. You had somehow managed to keep a smile plastered on your face the entire time while you were a nervous wreck on the inside. You hoped none of the questions would be sexist as they usually were towards women. However, you had no more time to think about that. You heard clicking, signaling that you were about to go live. Once you heard the last click, you knew you were live and the interview had begun.

“Hello everyone, welcome back to N/S. My name is Jerald Tangleberry and I’m here today with songwriter, singer, and celebrity, Y/N Wayne! How are you?”

You waved to the camera and then answered, “Hello everyone! I’m doing good, how about you?”

“I’m doing great, thanks for asking! So by now I’d assume everyone knows that you’ve released an album with your group. How does it feel to gain more fame?”

“It doesn’t feel any different. Fame wasn’t our goal when we released the album. It was to express ourselves.”

“Mhm, well Ms. Wayne, what inspired you to write songs?”

“Well we know people may be in a tough spot in their life right now and want them to know they aren’t alone.”

“That’s so true. Some fans have been speculating that every member has three songs that specifically relate to them since there are twelve songs in total and three of the songs have the same group member as the introduction part of the song. Is this true?”

“Yes, it is true.”

“So all three of your songs relate to family issues of some sort. Is that hinting that you have family issues?”

“Yes, actually. My family isn’t the best. They ignored me all the time, even when they weren't busy. The only person who didn’t was Jason.”

“You’re saying it in the past tense.”

“I moved out about a year ago. When I was around 14, I suffered from anorexia. My family would always ignore me since they were either busy doing work or hanging out with each other. The only family member that acknowledged me was Jason. I assumed it was because there was something wrong with me. I started to hate myself so much to the point of starvation. One day, I passed out right before a gala and my oldest brother Dick found me passed out on the floor. They took me to the hospital and when I woke up, Bruce, Dick, Tim, and Damian started fussing about how I’d ruin their image if the media knew what actually happened. They started to yell at me and told me how I was a useless burden. I started to have a panic attack so I kicked them out. Jason stayed behind with me and comforted me. Ever since then I made a planed to save enough money so I could move out when I turned 18, which I did.”

“Oh, wow. So Jason was the only one who interacted with you?”

“Yeah.”

“Looks like the Wayne family isn’t as perfect as they seem.”

“No family is actually perfect.”

“Did your family try contacting you at all after they found out about Y/G/N?”

“Not yet. They’re probably too busy or don’t care.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It’s alright, I got over it. What’s the next question.”

“Oh-” He cleared his throat and continued the interview. (So basically I don’t wanna bore you all lol)

---

Jason had woken up late into the afternoon that day. Patrol that morning had exhausted him. There was a huge breakout at Arkham they had assisted with. They successfully locked up every escapee, so today, Jason just wanted to relax until it would be time for patrol again. Even though he was exhausted, he knew he couldn’t take a break. The others wouldn’t and it would be unfair to them if he did.

He headed over to his couch with his phone and a bowl of popcorn in hand, ready to watch random movies the entirety of the day. He set down his phone on the coffee tables and grabbed the TV remote. When he turned on the TV, he almost dropped the popcorn and remote. You were sitting on a chair, giving an award winning smile while you politely answered the man’s questions. He was baffled. He didn’t know why you were being interviewed, let alone on TV at all! You made it clear you didn’t want to have any relations with your family any longer and you couldn’t stand publicity, so what were you doing?

He placed the bowl down and snatched his phone off the table. Unlocking his phone, he quickly dialed your phone number. However, he realized that the interview was live and that he would be interrupting it if he called you then. Deciding to wait, he placed his phone back down, picked up the bowl, and then got comfortable.

---

Tag list: @fake-id-69 @pepelachanel @loxbbg @what-0-life @yoongi-holland @omnivorousfangirl @cawcaw-pretty-thing @sexysamsungl @iceddonuts @buginetye @portrait-ninja @azazel-nyx @alculai

[sluttyten]

#25, #37 and #181 for Jungwoo or Jaehyun ❤️‍🔥

Jungwoo or Jaehyun + “shit, i forgot just how tight you are.” + meeting them at a house party and sneaking off to fuck them in the bathroom. + you being their best friend’s younger sibling.

When your brother Mark met his best friend, when he moved in with him, you thought for sure you’d cracked it and that your brother was gay and his best friend was his secret boyfriend. They were constantly together--going on trips, going out to dinner, going shopping together--so it wasn’t like it was a crazy leap in logic. But then one night, Mark was out of town, you needed a place to stay, so he told you to go stay at his place. 

Neither you or Jungwoo ever admitted to Mark the truth of that night. How you’d been sitting on the sofa with Jungwoo, venting to him, and when you’d mentioned in an offhand way how he was your brother’s boyfriend (like, obviously), Jungwoo paused and looked at you with the most adorably confused look on his face.

“I’m not his boyfriend. We’re honest to God just friends.” He holds his hand over his heart. “I’m into you, not Mark.”

In the space after those words, your entire worldview rearranged. You looked at Jungwoo, at the way he was looking at you, leaned towards you in comfortable casualness, and you realized that yeah, you could be into him too.

He fucked you right there on that sofa that night, and again in the shower the next morning, and before you left for the day, you made it clear to Jungwoo that sleeping with him meant nothing more than that you found him attractive too. You didn’t want your brother to know, and you didn’t plan to let it happen again. It had been perhaps a lapse in judgement to have sex with your brother’s best friend.

Weeks go by, and then months. You and Jungwoo are perfectly normal around each other, not letting that night interfere in any way. And then Mark throws a housewarming party when he and Jungwoo move out of their cramped apartment and start renting a house together with a few other friends. 

It’s the kind of housewarming that your other family members aren’t invited to. It feels more like a frat party than a housewarming.

There’s people everywhere. All over the lawn, filling every inch of the house you’d just helped your brother move his furniture into. You recognize a few of them as close friends of your brother that you’ve met before, but for the most part, you don’t know these people. You assume many of them are friends of the friends he’s moved in with, but you don’t even know any of those people other than Jungwoo.

So, you do your best to make new friends.

You meet a few lovely people before you finally meet Jaehyun. 

He seems nice, very friendly and handsome. You meet him over a tray of snacks you just know your brother sat out, and you start talking to him, small talk that quickly takes a turn when you both realize a mutual interest. That conversation carries you away from the snacks to standing outside, and once you’ve made it outside, you realize that someone’s set up a game of beer pong.

“Jae!” The guy at one end of the table calls as soon as he spots Jaehyun. “We need someone to play against!”

Jaehyun looks at you. “Want to be my partner?”

You hate the idea of leaving his side, knowing that if you do, some other girl that’s been eyeing him all night would quickly sweep in to try to fill your spot. 

So, it’s possibly one of the best decisions you’ve made yet that night to be his partner for beer pong because you win, and in the joy of victory, Jaehyun sweeps you into a hug and promises you that he owes you a prize. He quickly makes it clear that that prize is a fresh drink that’s not beer with a ball floating in it.

You could care less about getting another drink, but you go along with him as Jaehyun attempts to swim through the crowd of people that have gathered for this party now. You cling to his arm (his bare, well-chiseled biceps), and you never let your eyes leave the sight of his head (a backwards hat resting on his long black hair). 

When Jaehyun finds the way to the kitchen almost impossible to pass through due to it being a small room filled with alcohol and too many people trying to drink that alcohol, he sighs and stops, leaning against the wall and tugging you close to avoid you getting knocked into by the people passing behind you.

“Well, there goes my planned prize for you,” Jaehyun sighs, looking at you with this look that swells a hope inside you. “Guess I should treat you with something else.”

“I have an idea,” you venture, pressing forward a little more, letting your hand slide up his arm. “If you’re interested, you could be my prize, and I’ll be yours.”

“I’ll take that. Gladly.” Jaehyun’s gaze flicks between your eyes and your lips.

Before either of you can back down, decide that maybe you’re too buzzed to make a solid decision right now, you grab his hand and pull him away from the mass of people waiting to get inside the kitchen. You lead him upstairs, heading right for the bathroom you know is at the end of the hallway beside one of Mark’s housemate’s rooms.

You think you hear someone call your name downstairs, but over the music, it’s difficult to tell, and you refuse to let yourself be distracted away from Jaehyun.

You pull him inside the bathroom. Jaehyun closes the door behind him, and as soon as he’s turned to face you again, you all but launch yourself at him. 

Jaehyun’s teeth clack against yours. His warm fingers dig into your ass and thighs, and you clutch desperately at Jaehyun’s face, holding his mouth against yours in a bruising kiss as he stumbles deeper inside the bathroom with you. You feel the plasticky brush of the shower curtain, and then your back hits cool tile. 

Jaehyun has you against the shower wall, the scent of body wash filling your nose, and your moan echoes off the tile when Jaehyun slips his hand inside your panties. His fingers are expert, skilled at getting you off, toying with your clit and then he’s two fingers deep, rubbing your clit now as well as stimulating you from the inside. 

“Told you I’d give you a prize. You gonna cum for me, pretty girl? Gonna cum on my fingers?” Jaehyun kisses his words against your throat, and then he closes his lips around a sensitive spot and sucks.

Not that you want Jaehyun to know, but it’s been months since the last time you had sex, since the last time you orgasmed, so as the climax hits right now, your vision goes white, and your senses are overwhelmed on every side.

The volume in the room increases to a dull roar in your ears, and your fingers dig into Jaehyun’s shoulders, your body arching as he keeps going, pushing your orgasm to last longer and longer on his fingers. You moan his name softly between gasps, like an ecstatic prayer.

Your eyes flutter open, and you realize that the volume in the room isn’t just the buzz of pleasure and the pounding of your heartbeat anymore.

The dull roar of the party cuts out significantly when Jungwoo shuts the door behind him. Jaehyun’s head snaps up from where he’s been trying to leave his mark on your throat. Jungwoo clears his throat, “Don’t mind me, Jae, I just came up for a piss. But you should probably know that’s our housemate’s sister you’re fingering.”

Housemate? Jaehyun’s one of Mark’s new housemates? Shit, you drop your head back, in disbelief that you’ve done this again, fucking with your brother’s friend.

“Shit,” Jaehyun whispers quietly against your skin. “I thought you looked kinda familiar.”

“She has a thing for fucking her brother’s best friends.” Jungwoo turns his back on the pair of you, and you realize that he genuinely is using the toilet right now. Unbelievable. He couldn’t have just walked out to use one of the other two bathrooms in this house when he saw that this one was occupied?

“Jealous, Jungwoo?” You push lightly at Jaehyun’s shoulders until he steps back, freeing up enough space for you to straighten your clothes. “It’s not a good look on you.”

Jungwoo laughs. “Why would I be jealous? We had sex one night, and never spoke about it again.”

“Don’t pretend like you didn’t want it to happen again.” You walk up right behind him. “Do you think I haven’t caught you looking at me?”

Jungwoo turns to face you. “What about you looking at me? Have you not spent any lonely nights since then thinking of me? Remembering the way I touched you, how it felt when you fell apart for me?”

Jaehyun clears his throat. “I’m still standing right here, you know. If you’re gonna have this weird moment, at least let me leave.” He starts to step around you, to squeeze by both you and Jungwoo, but you reach out to touch his arm.

“Don’t go. I want you to stay. You’re the one I brought in here. Not Jungwoo.” You squeeze Jaehyun’s wrist. 

“Maybe you two just need to fuck it out of each other again,” Jaehyun recommends. “Don’t let me get in the way of that.”

You don’t let go of his wrist even when he tugs, instead you hold tighter. Something he said gave you an idea. “Don’t go. I don’t want you to be in the way, Jaehyun. What if, and either of you can say no, but what if we all got what we wanted?”

You know for a fact it would be the end of you if Mark ever learned that you’d had sex with not just one of his bestfriends, and not even just that you had sex with two of his best friends, but the fact that you had sex with two of them at the same time in the bathroom of the house he’s renting with said best friends, yeah, you would be over if he knew.

So you definitely don’t let risk letting him find out.

This time you lock the door. You don’t want anyone walking in when you’re leaning your elbows on the low countertop of the sink in that bathroom, blowing Jungwoo with your panties around your ankles while Jaehyun fucks you. You don’t want anyone to walk in when Jaehyun pulls you back up against his chest, when Jungwoo steps closer and edges his fingers in alongside Jaehyun’s cock.

Something about the coordinated way that they move with each other, the way neither voices a complaint as Jungwoo stretches your pussy around him and Jaehyun’s cocks, something about that strikes you as odd. Not premeditated necessarily, just practiced, like maybe they’ve fucked a girl together before.

If you thought your orgasm on just Jaehyun’s fingers after so long without sex was amazing, then the orgasm you experience on both of their cocks is world-ending. You feel yourself breaking apart at the edges, the pleasure going and going as they neither one stop when they feel you cumming around them. 

Jungwoo kisses you even when your head falls back against Jaehyun’s shoulder, tasting the pathetic whimpers and pleas of more that spill from your lips. Jaehyun snaps his hips forwards harder, driving himself closer and closer to his own orgasm. The feel of his cock pulsing inside you, shooting his load inside you, is enough to have you cumming again.

Jaehyun pulls out, but he stays right there beside you, his chest against your back, his arms around you, holding you up as Jungwoo keeps fucking you. You’re sensitive now, so sensitive and it hurts but it feels so good, and you keep clenching around Jungwoo. 

“Shit, baby,” Jungwoo hisses and groans. “I forgot just how tight you are. I’ve missed you. Fuck, I’ve missed this.”

You feel like a white hot star on the verge of collapse by the time that Jungwoo cums, his fingers twitching over your clit just to draw a final orgasm from you. This is all much more than you’ve felt in a long time, or possibly more than you’ve ever felt. 

Jaehyun supports you against his chest as Jungwoo steps back. Your legs feel useless when your feet touch the floor, and you have Jaehyun to thank for you not completely collapsing. He holds you, slowly leaning back against the wall and sinking even more slowly to the floor with you. You feel like you could never move again and be perfectly happy. 

“I’ve got her, she’s fine,” you hear Jaehyun say. “Go back out to the party. I can help her clean up, can get her to bed. Should I put her in Mark’s room?”

“No,” you murmur, “Put me in Jungwoo’s bed. Mark wouldn’t think that’s weird for me to be there.”

Jaehyun goes a little stiff at the idea of leaving you in another guy’s bed, but you hear the silent agreement between the two. They won’t talk about this outside of here. They won’t let this fuck up a friendship--either the one between them, or the one with Mark. Jaehyun will help you into Jungwoo’s bed tonight, but that doesn’t mean he won’t hope to have you in his on some other night.

And after Jungwoo leaves the bathroom, after you’ve regained some desire to get up off this bathroom floor,  you makeout with Jaehyun in the shower while you both clean up. You sneak out of the bathroom and down the hall to Jungwoo’s room beside your brother’s, and when you climb in between the covers and bury your face in the pillow that smells just like Jungwoo, Jaehyun slides in beside you.

“I really like you,” he tells you. “I know we’ve only known each other for a couple hours now, but I really like you.” 

“I like you a lot too,” you admit. You place a hand lightly on his cheek, drawing Jaehyun into a kiss. 

Jungwoo finds you like that a bit later when he comes to bed; you and Jaehyun asleep in each other’s arms in his bed, and his heart breaks a little knowing that this is something he could have had if he would’ve just fought a little harder a few months ago to make his feelings known to you. He should’ve made a move before tonight, sometime after that night you’d spent with him months ago. But he was scared of what your brother might think.

That’s why he’d come upstairs tonight. He’d seen you walking upstairs, and by the time Jungwoo navigated his way through the crowd and extricated himself from clinging hands trying to drag him in for a drink, he’d followed you upstairs only to find you getting fingered by Jaehyun.

He’s still standing there beside his own bed, looking at you two, when you stir. 

“Jungwoo?” You ask, stretching out a hand to him. “Come to bed.”

The feel of your palm sliding against his, lightly pulling him to join you, that is almost more exhilarating that what happened earlier in the evening. Because you might be cuddling with Jaehyun, but you clearly want him there too, and Jungwoo doesn’t entirely understand what any of this means, but if he can have this moment with you and a million more like it, he doesn’t think he really minds what it means to share you with Jaehyun. 

requests are now closed! Thank you to everyone that sent your requests/prompts in, I really enjoyed writing these drabbles!

[valenhell]

From the studio that brought you “I can’t find good Byler fics in the ao3 tag”, comes:

"The Definitive Byler fic rec list"

Literally no one asked for this but because I spent the majority of last year (...and 2019, and 2018...) reading byler fics and coping with life, I thought I’d make a list of some of my absolute favorites. 

The other day I was basically starving for some byler fics and the angel @magicalfairy provided me with some of her faves so I thought I’d do the same, because I love reading, and I love all of these fics and I appreciate their writers💗 And fic writers in general, come on!

- This is a mix of long works and one-shots/short stories. - Everything is mostly fluff with a tad of angst and a lot of internalized homophobia conflict.  - Every fic is completed, except for the ones I mention that they are not. - I try my best to lay out the stories in a way that I won’t spoil you the plot but also warning you of some stuff you might don’t like. Either way, all of these fics are correctly tagged by their respective authors/owners, so read at your own risk. For better understanding, in between brackets I denote Rating, Words and quantity of Chapters. - I feel like I should clarify, none of these are narrated in the singular first person. None of that “And I told him...”, no. 

Long fics

a dream always the same (T, 99k, 35 chapters) What happened in those few weeks between the Battle of Starcourt and the Byers leaving Hawkins. Literally a satisfying and very needed fill in of season three, with a good dose of Mike’s thoughts and conflict. Mike’s characterization is specially amazing in this one. The writing style is amazing and I know the author put everything into making it historically accurate, and it was really sweet. You probably read it, it’s by the amazing sevensided here on Tumblr🧡

Spring Break (T, 120k, 14/15 chapters) The slowburn of my dreams. Lots of internalized conflict and conflict with each other. Conflict within the Party (uhh kind of), conflict with Mike and Will. Byers family has moved and the kids are visiting! Chaos. Characterization is on point. Yeah, I know it’s unfinished, but the fourteenth chapter actually serves as a pretty nice ending. 

This is where it starts (M, 148.8k, 24 chapters) Aged up characters. The Party is in college and Will disappears again, but now it’s different. Mike knows he didn’t vanish from thin air, and the discovery he and the Party end up making is pretty insane. Mystery solving/fantasy/third dimension, throw in a bit of D&D and Mike realizing some shit, and you get this marvelous fic. It’s a breath of fresh air. The world building is definitely one of the elements that stands out the most, because it’s very nicely described, it sounds like a dream and it’s completely immersive. Absolute gem of a fic. 

there’s a Starman waiting in the sky (M, 30.6k, 8 chapters) Do I need to say anything? Will is out there living his best life and Mike realizes that wow, umm, maybe his best friend looks a bit too nice with that costume... and wait, is he getting horny? It’s actually really fun and sexy.

The Evening Speaks (T, 23k, 7 chapters) In where Mike is a late-night college radio host and Will is the art student that stays up till late to catch up with Wheeler on the Mic. They flirt through songs y’all, this one is really sweet. 

heads or tails? (E, 24k, 3 chapters) Aged up characters. I know most people don’t enjoy sex in fics and with specific characters but this one is insanely well written. It’s a slowburn that commits to the tension and with every word you are grasping and anticipating their next move. I think you can find the author here on Tumblr as yousaidyes🧡

The Man of Average (M, 56.7k, 5/? chapters) Aged up characters. No but you don’t understand, the writing here is absolute gourmet. The story is exciting as well, it’s super interesting. Weirdly enough, for being very aged up characters, they are well characterized but they don’t feel like teenagers. They are naturally Mike and Will. The author really captured Mike and Will’s essence. I know, it’s unfinished and it’s updated very rarely, but this is the typical fic you can’t believe someone just posted on the internet for free. I will say though, I think it’s definitely not for everyone. Read at your own risk.

Heartstrings (E, 82.8k, 24/? chapters) Aged up characters. By the same author of The Man of Average. A collection of memories, the road to Mike and Will’s happy ever after. And fucking hell!!!!! You’ll cry and get angry, you’ll cheer for them, then you’ll want to crash their faces together because god dammit you love each other!!! But yeah, same thing here. The writing and the way the story is laid out as a nonlinear narrative is brilliant. And I also think this is one of the best Will versions I’ve read. The author might as well be the og creator of this two characters tbh. You can find the author here as mylesimeblr🧡

Sinners behind the walls (T, 1.5k, 1/1) And because I can’t stop recommending this author, a little thing of Mike tormenting himself but also being too deeply committed to Will. 

The Red Envelope series (T/E, 167K, two completed works) Something happens that Will thought was impossible and from there, pure drama and romance. Anything by this author has the potential to become your absolute favorite fic, but this series in particular is amazing. I doubt that any of you haven’t read this, but it doesn’t hurt to put it in this list. I’m pretty sure the author is serendipitous-magic on Tumblr🧡

A New Fight series (T, 91k, two completed works, one WIP) And finally the Star Wars AU that we all needed. But this isn’t your typical “Mike is Han”, “Will is Leia” and “El is Luke”, it’s way more interesting than that, and the author has appropriated the Star Wars world like no other. I’ll admit I’m not a 100% fluent in SW lore but this is amazing to me either way. This author is also on Tumblr, tea-for-one-please🧡

- Yes, most of these are (if not all), in a way, canon compliant/canonverse/canon continuation into fanon. (In a way)

One-shots and short stories

Sundae for Two, Please (G, 4.8k) Steve being the supportive friend and older brother these kids collectively need. (not Jonathan erasure, we love him). Steve is very sweet himself, and this little cute thing through his POV is gorgeous. Yes, it’s byler.

Backstage (T, 10k, 2/2) Jonathan, you forgot to mention to Will how hot your new band’s guitarist is, dude. Now he’s hyperventilating and weirdly flirting with him in the corner. Background Stonathan because why not.

102 Peach Street (G, 3.8k) Established relationship, but not only that, they are married :’’))) PURE fluff. Extreme fluffiness. Diabetes. 

sweatshirts and bottled up feelings (T, 3.2k) Or, Mike thinks that the sweatshirt Will wears looks insanely good on him. And kitchens are for lovers. 

kiss it better (T, 16.3k) Basically one of the best character studies of a few precise moments of Mike and Will’s relationship and feelings. 

will wonders ever cease (T, 11.3k) #i ship will and happiness. Omfg what a beautiful piece of fanfic. Will centric, this kid really deserves all the good in the world.

The Calm After the Storm (T, 1.6k) Tooth rotting fluff, boyfriends in love. Boyfriends being lazy, cuddling, love words, kisses. Boys loving each other’s company... Basically, Mike and Will in their element. What more can you ask for?

neither of us ready to let go (T, 4.8k) That scene from season three, but a bit of a fix it. 

Still in love (G, 1k) Domestic, married life au fluff. Y’all, I’m a sucker for established Byler, even if I can’t find many fics with it. But this is very sweet. It takes place in 2020, but I don’t think there are any mentions of the COVID-19 crisis that I remember.

I Nver Find Out ‘Til I’m Head Over Heels (G, 12.5K) Classic 5+1 fic. If you haven’t read it, where have you been? This is your moment. In where Mike keeps inviting Will to the school dances and Will thinks it’s just a joke until he realizes it’s not. 

Before You’re Gone (T, 5.9k) Will is leaving Hawkins and Mike thinks this is a great moment for a confession. This one I discovered last friday, thank you friend @magicalfairy 💗

You’re weird Wheeler (M, 4.5k) Mike unintentionally starts a tradition of going to each other to talk about their sexual encounters just after they finish. Will keeps getting more explicit with the details he shares, and he makes his best friend interested. This one is really fun y’all.

Out-Of-Town Friends (N/R, 4.6K) It’s not rated. I haven’t re- read it but I’d say it would probably fall in a T rating. So cute!! Will has new friends and sneaks off every friday and the Party doesn’t know where he is going, so Mike decides to follow him and is surprised. 

Snowed Under (G, 1.3k) By the same author of The New Fight series. Mike is spending christmas by himself in college because a snowstorm hits Chicago and Nancy can’t drive to see him, but then he has a surprise visitor. Ahhh just a lil sweet holiday fic. Super cute. 

you love me anyway series (T, 7.1k, three completed works) Literally just the cutest thing ever. Established Byler. Will loves to take pictures and he loves taking pictures of Mike. It’s adorable. 

you wanna be friends forever (i can think of something better) (T, 9k) This one is so amazing. So. Amazing. From Will’s POV, my kid deserves the world and he gets it. 

okay not to be okay (T, 4.9k) Mike is a bit sad but then everything is okay. 

can’t hold out forever (G, 18.4k) Y’all!!!!! 5+1 sweetness. Mike has been falling in love since kindergarten. And it’s long af, you’ll enjoy it. 

even if it takes forever (G, 1.3k) College short AU, they miss each other, they love each other, they promise all to each other. It is sappy y’all.

clear as day (N/R, 18.4K, 4 chapters) It’s not rated, but I’d say it falls in the T category. Strangers to friends to lovers. And also, everyone is pretty gay; we have our dynamic trio Mike, Max and El as disaster lesbians (and gay). Will works at the library and he is also gay. Lucas and Dustin and Will are the best friends we needed. It’s very sweet and the Party is kind of formed here!

I went overboard with the one-shots, so you must have realized how much I love long one-shots and I favor them over long works lmao but they are all amazing!!! If it’s on this list, I probably read it at 2 am, sobbing in my bed. So. Hope you enjoy it☺️🧡

[readinginthereadyroom]

it’s the office job (lev 4x11) and eliot and hardison are arguing over a sandwich. only it’s not a sandwich.

yeah I’m pretty sure this is sbout their relationship.

because the thing is—hardison and parker might be pretzels (and slowly moving toward something more official), but eliot and hardison are something too. and that something is apparently sandwich.

and hardison stole the sandwich.

but what probably started out as a prank has now escalated. because eliot’s making accusations against hardison (when really it could be anyone on the team), threatening him with moldavian sawhorses (regardless that it’s all bark and no bite). but it still feels disrespectful. nevermind that it’s true.

which is a breach of trust. and eliot’s not okay with that. because it’s not like eliot just forgot he ate the sandwich. he takes the sandwich very seriously. spent a lot of time and effort into crafting the sandwich. he’d remember eating the sandwich. hardison would definitely remember eating the sandwich.

so here they are. arguing on the con. not bickering. not squabbling. they are having a legit, if layered, argument.

and it’s impacting parker.

because we cut straight from the guys talking about their jobs require trust and respect to parker designing her eskimo kisses line of cards. happy this and happy that but no one is actually ever happy. the cards don’t say what they really mean. 

because two dinosaurs falling in love doesn’t make any sense. it should be a dinosaur ripping the head off a lion. but then there’s also inexplicably a bear. shows up out of nowhere and now he’s a part of the scenario, too. little lion leaving the pack early and little bear cub wants to go out and see the world, huh?

which is just code for dino parker is pissed at lion hardison and she’s worried bear cub eliot will leave if they don’t reconcile. because it’s not two it’s three. and she’s caught in the middle. and neither of them can say what they’re really thinking. that the three of them are more-than-a-team. and she’s terrified that in order to survive the fallout of this argument, she’s going to have to destroy all that she’s built. that she won’t make it on her own again.

and it’s not even all that subtextual. sophie and nate are also having a mirror argument about respect and trust. and it’s a flashing ot3 light that it’s not hardison and parker arguing. but hardison and eliot.

not to mention that the whole con, since it’s being recorded by the documentary crew, is being spoken in code. even nate thinks that sandwich has a double meaning. it’s a fragile embarassment honestly.

eliot says you don’t steal another man’s sandwich. hardison says I want to eat your sandwich. but what does the metaphor actually mean? what is the sandwich that eliot won’t shut up about making and that hardison won’t admit to taking? what code of the west has been broken?

eliot is the sandwich. hardison and parker are pretzels. to extend the metaphor—eliot wants to be a part of the lunch special. has perhaps unintentionally built the perfect sandwich to go with the pretzels. but he’s also really worried that they won’t go together. that it’s off the menu.

hardison, on the other hand, is very on board with adding a sandwich to the pretzels. the boy can cook. he can throw down. hardison’s been trying to steal the sandwich the whole time.

think about it! hardison weaseling his way into hugs. secret handshakes. high fives for morale. because parker’s metaphor is also right—eliot is a wild bear cub. and hardison has been slowly domesticating him. just like he’s been patiently helping parker bring herself back to life. king of the jungle. king of the nerds. age of the geek.

and since I can’t imagine hardison getting impatient with eliot—since he’s never impatient with parker. which means he didn’t overstep any bounds with eliot. more likely eliot finally realized what’s going on. realized that hardison wants his sandwich and that he wants pretzel. and it scares him. eliot is very self-aware but I think the ot3 blindsided him. so he’s all bear again. ready for a fight.

and then there’s parker. making get well soon cards that really mean please make-up. and being harassed by the filmmaker—while hardison and eliot are too busy arguing to notice. not that parker can’t take care of herself. because she most definitely can.

but maybe she doesn’t want to.

that’s why when the filmmaker gets uncomfortably close into her personal space and both eliot and hardison yell HEY! BRING YOUR ASS! giving parker a chance to pick his pocket—and she smiles. eliot and hardison are working together again. for her. more-than-a-team once more.

and then when it really matters. when hardison is in real trouble. eliot’s there. of course he’s there. because he’s all gruff hitter voice, nobody throws hardison off a roof. followed by his softer eliot voice, except maybe me.

the argument’s over. the secret handshake is back. and hardison apologizes by buying dinner, even if he never does admit to eating the sandwich.

cause he’s still trying to steal himself an eliot.

[your-turn-to-role]

well into the final CR1 arc and I have decided to become a Sprigg stan account

LOOK BIG MOOD

darin de paul is my favourite guest on cr, hands down

like...

1) the sheer fantastic comedic energy he brought, no other guest comes close, you can see how unexpectedly delighted all the other players are just to see him work, and matt's having a lot of fun playing demistrik too, like... god i've tried to bring sprigg's energy into some of my own npcs while dming because there really is no character more fun to play than an absolutely unpredictable old man with weird strong opinions about everything

(and quirks like the "let's come up with a mnemonic device in case we need to jump him", that are way longer than the phrase itself, in full earshot of everyone, just, fantastic)

2) i love the legacy just sprigg as a character brings? i don't know if you know this already if you're just watching it, but, sprigg's been alone for 37 years because darin de paul last played sprigg 37 years ago, in a campaign with matt's mother

like! he's full of history because he literally is full of history, and it's a legacy that's deeply personal to the show by nature of being a family relation to the dm!

3) [and, spoilers for 106 and 107, don't know where you're up to] i've talked about this before i'm sure but... darin de paul could not have brought a better character for everyone's character arcs if he tried

especially vax and keyleth

bc like... what they're dealing with right now is keyleth's worst fear. she was hesitant about getting in a relationship at all because she knew her lifespan was in the thousands of years and she didn't want to get close to someone and then outlive them. she didn't want to let things matter to her and then risk losing them, and vax helped her get away from that

he convinced her it was worth it, and then this happened. they know one way or another only one of them makes it out of this alive, and it's probably not vax. (he even has the line in 107, "i know the chance you took on me, and i've confirmed your worst fears and then some")

and neither of them are okay, meeting sprigg, bc it's that huge reminder, because sprigg ran away, and his friends died, and he forgot all their names

and everyone else thinks sprigg is just talking nonsense but keyleth looks at him and sees a mirror, she understands him perfectly and it's terrifying

and like. vax and keyleth haven't talked about this, at this point, because they don't know how to, and they're scared to even face each other. and i think, had sprigg not showed up right here, they might have done that for all the time they had left. because neither of them knew how to face this, it was just too overwhelming

but here he is. keyleth's worst possible ending. alone, left with half a mind, paranoid, stuck in this hut in the forest building traps. everyone he ever cared about has faded from his mind. and vox machina, they just found out percy and vex got married in secret, and while scanlan's teasing them, vax and keyleth are angry and silently crying in a corner, because they can't ever have that, and what do they do in this meantime, where vax is a walking ghost and they know that time's almost up, and keyleth is so desperate not to be alone?

(and the gods, too, sprigg hates ioun, even though he's her champion, he doesn't think she ever helped him and he'd be better off without her. and keyleth never understood how the raven queen helped vax, she only saw the ways in which he got hurt, and she's never been one for gods either)

but those things aren't gone. none of them are gone, sprigg's just been distracted from them. he does come to remember them, with the right help, and that's the first spark of hope for keyleth. for both of them, because he is vax and keyleth in one, he's been the lone survivor, but he keeps his friends in his heart, and he chooses to fulfill his duties to ioun and stay with her as her champion. it's reassuring vax, too, that he's not just walking into oblivion.

and it's that that grants them the courage to face up to this and talk to each other, and actually maybe be somewhat okay with this

and i could be here all day if i detail everyone, but to briefly go into it, percy and scanlan too

because ioun's library is an important step in percy's arc, which has always been about legacy. he's deeply concerned with legacy above everything, and has been absolutely devastated by both the loss of his family, his city, and their family history (matt mentions at one point the briarwoods burned a lot of the family records and percy looks so angry at that), and the fact that, under the influence of a demon, he then turned his own legacy into one of mass murder. there's a lot of important steps in percy's character arc but all of them relate in some way to, what came before me, and what do i leave for others

and this is the first spark of hope he's ever seen! he argues with keyleth in 56 about the importance of monuments, they're not about pride, they're about remembering those who came before (and, again, percy and keyleth's arcs, incredibly interlinked), and percy has none. everything that makes him has been deliberately destroyed by someone, and that's incredibly difficult for him to deal with. but here, in this library, is a record of everyone who ever lived. he doesn't have to shoulder the responsibility and guilt of turning the sole legacy of hundreds of years of family history into one of destruction. because these records are permanent, no matter what happens, his family mattered, because they're here, and no amount of fuck ups on his part can destroy that

and scanlan, scanlan's singled out by sprigg immediately. and that may just be because he's the only other gnome present, but sprigg was right, they do have a connection. because scanlan ran away. he saw the tide turning into things he wasn't ready to face up to, and he did exactly what sprigg did, and didn't care about the consequences. and he's now realising how badly that hurt vox machina

but he has something sprigg doesn't, which is that his friends are still alive. sprigg's friends died because of his betrayal, but vox machina are here to give him a second chance. and this is the episode where he really steps up. he sees that, he makes a conscious decision to not be like sprigg, and for the first time in his life, he takes responsibility. and it's scanlan stepping up that saves them

[cipheress-to-k-pop]

Come Back Home

Pairing: Dick Grayson (DC Titans) x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of death and miscarriage

Word Count: 4.5K

Summary: Years after the two of you broke up, Dick Grayson comes back to your life. But he doesn’t know you’ve been hiding a secret all this time.

A/N: @imcarolinashannon​ and I were talking about angst fics so I decided to write this. I probably might do a second part so if you want to be tagged in that then just send me a message or something

Dick lounged comfortably in Donna’s living room. She promised to meet up with him but unfortunately, she was running late. Dick had no trouble letting himself in and laying down on her couch, waiting for her to get home.

He heard the door open and opted to stay silent, wanting to see her reaction when she realized he had broken in. Technically he hadn’t really broken in but used the key that she hid underneath the doormat.

He silently waited for Donna to come to the living room, feeling childish but at the same time anticipating it.

“Don?”

That wasn’t Donna’s voice.

“Don? You here? The door was left open…”

Dick stiffened. That voice. He’s heard that voice before.

“Don? I—” Your voiced cut off suddenly, whatever was in your hands slipped and fell to the ground. You barely even realized, just hearing a faint thump in the back of your head as the plastic bag hit the floor.

It had been so long.

Dick Grayson hadn’t changed one bit since the last time you had seen him. You on the other hand, looked like age had caught up with you, but in Dick’s eyes you looked as beautiful as the day he last saw you.

That day flashed vividly in his head. You looking beautiful and holding him close to your heart. The ache he felt that day. He couldn’t bear to say anything and break your heart. He couldn’t break your heart again. Saying goodbye to you while you were asleep. Leaving a note on the nightstand.

And then leaving without a second look back.

He never let himself rethink his decision. When he got drunk, he’d shed silent tears when he thought about you, but he’d never let himself call you up. When he got your letters, he’d keep them by his nightstand, but he’d never let himself read it. He feared he’d listen to you and come back.

He didn’t deserve to have you in his life again.

Looking at you again after all these years. He wondered if he made the right decision. He wondered if he should’ve just given into his selfishness. But beyond everything, the void in his heart was made that much more apparent to him when he noticed the way you were looking at him. It was guarded, but at the same time emotional.

It was like you felt something, but you didn’t want to show him.

It was like that for a few seconds, where you were just stuck staring at each other, frozen in time. Neither of you dared to move a muscle. It was calm, too calm. And the two of you were afraid that it would start a storm.

So just as quickly as you came, you backtracked and ran away.

“(Y/N) wait—!” Dick started, moving for you before he could stop himself. He couldn’t let you slip through his fingers. He just needed a few more minutes. A few more minutes to look at you and realize what he gave up. A few more minutes.

But you were already booking it down the hallway when he made it to the door. It was then he found the strength to stop himself. He had to. He couldn’t ask for you to wait. You probably waited a lot already. He couldn’t ask you to wait anymore.

So, he let you slip through his fingers again.

But this time it was him who had to watch you walk away.

And it was only then he realized how much it hurt to be left behind.

***

When the Titans split up you were the only one who remained in San Francisco. Waiting. Just waiting for someone to return. Anyone.

Everything happened so quickly. Garth was taken from you, as well as Jericho, and everything just changed in the span of a night. The family that you had built had broken and no one seemed to have the energy to put back the pieces together.

You remember the same monotonous days, the days where you couldn’t feel anything, when you just woke up to go back to sleep and slept to pretend that none of this ever happened. It was suffocating and exhausting, but you had no way to pull yourself out into the light.

You remember holding onto your fiancé a little tighter that night, your body shaking even though you weren’t cold. You remember sleeping a little heavier that night, as if your body couldn’t bear to wake up to this existence anymore. You remember feeling cold and empty.

You remember waking up to find the space next to you on the bed empty and you immediately knew what had happened. Dick had taken off. You had known it was coming, for a while now, but you couldn’t seem to believe it.

For a while you just stared at the note he left behind with an emotionless gaze. This week had been hell enough, what was another punch? At least things couldn’t get worse.

For a while you just held the note loosely between your fingers, not bothering to move from your bed. You knew you were supposed to be feeling sad, but your heart couldn’t afford it. You couldn’t feel anything anymore.

So, you just stood up from bed, moving unsteadily to the kitchen, not being able to process anything. You just went to the fridge and got yourself a glass of milk before going back to the couch and turning on the television. It was playing but you weren’t watching it.

The sorrow of losing your best friends and your fiancé didn’t hit you until a few days later. You ran out of milk and were looking for something else to drink. Opening the fridge reserved for alcohol, you grabbed whatever touched your fingers first.

An orange soda.

Then your gaze moved to the diamond ring sitting snugly on your finger. The bottle slipped through your fingers, falling onto the ground along with your body. You held yourself as you cried, screamed for someone to come back. For someone to save you through this loneliness.

You cried for what seemed like forever, until you felt dry and then you cried some more. You couldn’t even bring yourself to get off the floor, letting the sticky orange soda soak into your pants and the glass shards of the broken bottle sink into your legs.

Crying felt like the only thing you were capable of. You weren’t able to do anything else, even consoling yourself was far from your mind. All you could do was mourn the death of your friend and the death of your friendships.

Your breath left your body, your stomach churned painfully and your heart clenched in your chest. You couldn’t stand the thought of saying goodbye. You just couldn’t do what the others had and leave your family in the past. You couldn’t bring yourself to.

So, you waited, for someone to return, for anyone to return. You waited and waited, until it had been engrained into your behaviour, until it had been the first thing you thought about in the morning and the last thing you thought about at night. You waited.

You knew the day would come when this void in your heart would be filled.

If you had just waited.

But you eventually gave up the hope of them coming back, you gave it all up. You figured they would never come back home. That they found new homes. That they forgot about you. At this point you wondered if even one of your family members would return.

Nothing could have prepared you for Donna’s phone call one day. She told you that she was back in town and wanted to see you again. Something told you it was too good to be true. Something else told you to give into your pride and bail on her like she did so many years ago.

But against your better judgement, you still agreed to meet with her.

You weren’t expecting to come face to face with the man who left you behind so many years ago. However unhealthy it may have been, you never let yourself think about how you were really feeling when this devastation hit you.

You never tried to identify your feelings.

Rather, you tried to distract yourself and move forward. And it had worked. Until you made eye contact with Dick and had to wonder whether you should break down, get angry and scream or just be happy and relieved to see him again.

It was something you couldn’t handle. You couldn’t even begin to think about it. You couldn’t.

So, you didn’t have to think twice when your legs stumbled back and sprinted out of Donna’s apartment and out of the building.

Only when you were safely back home did you stop running, ignoring the calls from Donna for the rest of the day and instead drowning your sorrows in orange soda, trying to forget this ever happened.

***

Donna eventually managed to track you down to your apartment where you were just laying around your couch. While you were feeling overwhelmed to invite her into your home you were also excited to just sit down and talk with her again.

“Hey, (Y/N),” Donna smiled, pulling you in for a hug, “It’s been so long. Nice place you have here.” She commented, taking off her coat as you shut the door behind her.

“Oh, it’ just your run of the mill, one-bedroom apartment.” You said absentmindedly, “You can look around if you want.”

Donna did exactly that, moving to the passageway and then towards the one bedroom. The door was closed and she wondered if she was allowed to enter. You did say that you could look around so it wouldn’t do any harm.

“Hey, um, the door is locked.” She called out to you and there was an awkward beat of silence before you answered.

“Yeah, I, um, I keep the old suit and weapons there. Don’t want anybody to get in there, you know?”

Oh. Well, that made sense.

“Why don’t you come here and we can have a cup of tea of something.”

“So, what have you been up to?” You asked, getting a cup of tea ready for her. It had been a while since you had anyone in your place so you weren’t even sure where the second tea cup was.

“(Y/N), as much as I would love for this to just be a visit, I’m sorry but there’s something important that I have to tell you.”

Donna told you all about how Dick had reinstated the Titans and was actually in the city right now. You had already known that and made a conscious decision to stay far away from them. You had waited and waited and waited for them to return but when you finally moved on, they decide to show up again?

She told you about how each of the original Titans members were being targeted by an assassin, reasons and identity unknown and that she was here to bring you to the base for your protection.

“Listen, Donna, I hung up that suit a long time ago. If you guys are getting targeted then it’s probably because you started to get back into this life again. I’m fine and I haven’t been involved in it for a long time.” You told her.

“Yeah, (Y/N), I know but we all just think it would be safer—”

“Donna, I told you, I’ve moved on. I’m just an elementary school teacher now. No one is out to get me.”

A shot rang out through the apartment and your windows shattered.

The butt of the bullet shined from its hole in your wooden floors. It was a warning shot. And when you turned you saw the silhouette of a man on the roof of the apartment complex next to your building. He hid well and you couldn’t really make out any features.

The man held the gun up to eye level again and you jumped grabbing Donna’s arm and running towards the closet in the hallway before throwing it open and handing her a gun as shots rang out one after the other.

“I thought you said you kept all your superhero stuff in the other room?” She asked, seeing your costume hung in all it’s glory along with a number of weapons and gadgets.

“Is that really important now?!” You shouted, trying to pocket as many weapons as you could and then ran out into the hallway and past the staircase to the other side of the building

“What? (Y/N) what are we doing? The exit is over there!” She shouted, following you through the halls and she heard you click the safety off your gun before shooting at a lock and kicking the door open.

She ran behind you through an empty apartment and then through the window, scaling down the fire escape before making a break for it.

***

“So, you’re telling me I know have a target painted on my back because the rest of you couldn’t stop playing dress up?” You asked with a furious bite to your voice. The rest of the members held their head down, trying to avoid your gaze.

You were always the mother of the group, looking after people and making sure everyone was okay. But everybody knew when you were angry, there was nothing topping you from ripping them to shreds. The only thing they could do was try their hardest not to agitate you.

Even though none of them were scared of you and they probably could be equally matched with you in a fight. They would probably ever win, because you haven’t been out in the field for a year. But there was just something about your fiery gaze and your sharp voice that made their hearts quicken and them lower their heads in shame.

“(Y/N),” Dawn began with a placating voice, trying to put out your anger, “I know your mad but—”

“Mad?! I’m furious! What the hell were you imbeciles thinking?! Oh, let me guess, absolutely nothing!”

Usually when you were this angry, the team would send Dick your way, knowing that you could never stay angry with him for long. Even though years have passed and your relationship was now broken, it seemed like their strategies were still ingrained into their minds.

“(Y/N), look we just—” Dick began, moving towards you gently so he could hold you but you snapped at him, glaring at him so harshly that he actually took a few steps back and sat back into his seat.

“Oh, shut up, daddy issues! I don’t even wanna start with you!”

Hank immediately stood up then, getting annoyed with you constantly yelling at him. He was a grown man, why should he have to hear you shout at him like he was a little kid?

“Look, (Y/N), none of us—”

“Sit! The fuck! Down!”

No one could appreciate how funny Hank looked, slinking back to his seat like a kicked puppy.

“I seem to recall all of you saying that you wanted to leave this life behind! And now because none of you could actually give it up, my apartment is trashed, all my stuff probably has bullet holes and now I’m stuck here with no clothes, no stuff and all of you!”

“I could lend you some clothes if you like.” Donna said meekly from beside Dick, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

“Oh, well all of my problems are solved! Thank you so much!”

“I can’t believe this.” You murmured with a quiet voice and the rest recognized that you were finished with yelling. To be quite honest it was just a lot to process. You thought you had left these monsters in the past. It felt like they were trying to pull you back in by your ankles.

“I’m sorry.” Dick spoke up quietly and you sighed, seeing how ashamed he looked. He probably felt horrible, and that didn’t excuse him, but you couldn’t bear to keep yelling when you knew they felt apologetic towards you.

Maybe that’s why you were always being taken advantage of.

“Not like we can do anything about it now.” You said quietly, not making eye contact with either of them and instead just turning around and walking out of the mission room, briefly passing Rachel as you made your way to the kitchen.

You needed a shot.

Rachel stepped into the room once you left with a dazed look, clutching her arm that brushed against you as you walked out. It didn’t go unnoticed by the others.

“Rachel? Is everything okay?”

“I—” You started but then stopped herself, not quite understanding what she was feeling, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

***

You were formally introduced to the rest of the team by the end of the day. Dick watched with a gentle smile as you made witty banter with Jason and told Gar how adorable he was as he blushed.

“Hi, I’m Rachel.”

“Hey, Rachel, I’m (Y/N), it’s nice to meet you.” You smiled and held out your hand for her to shake. As soon as her skin came into contact with yours a gasp l4eft her lips.

Behind her closed eyelids she saw bits and pieces of your memories. She saw you writing letters. Even though you weren’t speaking she could hear what you were writing in her head. It was just bits and pieces of you writing letters but she could feel all the emotions that you felt as you wrote it down.

‘Hey love, it’s (Y/N), I love you, please come home.’

‘Dick it’s been weeks, please come home. There’s been something I’ve been meaning to tell you, and I was hoping I could do it in person but I can’t. Dick, I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant with your child so I need you to come home. Please.’

You sent an ultrasound along with the letter and behind it in your handwriting was ‘Please, come home, our baby needs you.’

‘Dick, I want to fly out to Detroit and see you but my Doctor says it isn’t safe for me to fly. I’m about 3 months along and I just heard his heartbeat today. I’m so scared of doing this alone, Dick. I can’t do this alone. Please come home. I need you.’

‘I don’t know if you’re even reading my letters, Dick, but I’m going to keep sending them. If it’s the only way I can talk to you then I’m going to keep sending them. I’m craving a lot of sweets, so if you decide to come home all you need to do is bring back a s’more or something to get me to forgive you, okay? I’ll forgive you, I promise, just please come back home.’

‘I found out the sex of the baby today. It’s gonna be a boy. Dick, we’re gonna have a son and I don’t think I can raise him without you. Please come back home, let’s raise our son together. Please just even call me, or even just sending me a letter back is enough. Something. Anything, Dick, please.’

‘He’s starting to kick more often now, he’s really very active. He loves it when we watch your favourite movie. I don’t know why but I can feel it when we watch it together. He feels happy. Come back home and you can feel his kicks yourself. You don’t know how amazing that feels until it happens. I talk to him a lot; I tell him about you and I know he probably doesn’t understand but It feels like he does. I’m so scared to do this alone, Dick, I don’t think I can. Would you please come home now?’

‘I’ve been getting these things called Braxton Hick’s contractions. They were scary and new but apparently nothing to worry about. That’s what the doctor’s say but I can’t help but get scared, you know? It was absolutely heart-breaking to have to get myself to the hospital. I have friends, but let’s face it, none of them can actually take on the burden of having a child. And I couldn’t ask them to. I still love you, Dick. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you. Our son, he feels so familiar, like there was a piece of you left behind. I’m starting to lose hope of you coming back, but I’m still going to keep writing letters because our son needs his father.’

Scenes flashes one after another and her head began spinning with images and she felt dizzy. Eventually her head cleared up and her eyes focused on your staring at her with concerned eyes.

“Rachel, is everything okay?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah I’m fine.”

“Are you sure, you blanked out for a second there.”

Yeah, Yeah I’m fine.”

You seemed to buy her explanation and left the room along with the boys when they offered to show you around. Rachel still stood in the middle of the kitchen, seemingly frozen.

Dick walked up to her, putting a hand on her shoulder and that seemed to pull her out of her trance but she still seemed pretty shaken up.

“Hey, is everything okay?”

“She sent you letters, didn’t she?”

His brows furrowed as he scanned her face. There was something about it that he couldn’t pin-point, that he couldn’t read. It didn’t surprise him that she knew that you had written letters to him but what surprised him was that she asked about it. Usually, she never did.

“Yeah, she did.”

“You never read them, did you?” She asked again, meekly, breaking eye contact with him. She sounded disappointed and hurt but he couldn’t understand why. Maybe if he just explained the situation to her, she would understand.

“No, I never did.” He was going to tell her why. He was going to explain himself. But just as the moment came, Rachel started pulling herself away, moving towards her bedroom like she was lost.

“You should have.”

***

After his conversation with Rachel, Dick wondered what could have been in those letters that made her so shaken up. That made her distance herself from him for the next few days. It was heart-breaking to watch her pull away from him whenever he wanted to talk.

The longer Rachel distanced herself from him, the longer he wondered what exactly was in those letters. Rachel seemed to think that he should have read those letters, but what could’ve been in there that was so terrible?

Obviously, you were well and you looked like you had completely turned your life around, so what could it have been that Rachel thought he should find out about even after all these years?

The curiosity was enough to make him find those letters but not enough to give him the courage to read them. But he still needed to, he absolutely had to, so he opened the first letter you ever sent him.

Around an hour later, all the letters were opened and scattered around his bed. Nothing was going through his head. He didn’t even here you when you called him for dinner from the kitchen.

“Dick? Dinner’s ready. What are you….?” It was then you noticed the opened letters sitting on his bed, “What is this?”

“The letters you sent me.” He told you, his voice cracking and your breath caught. Your first emotion was to run away, to run far away but at the same time it felt like your feet were bolted to the floor. Dick looked up at you and you vaguely noticed the tears in his eyes.

For the first time, it felt like he finally understood how much leaving you had hurt him. He finally realized that he did more harm than good by leaving you. That he was missing out on his life’s greatest dream by leaving you. That while he was missing you, were begging him to come back.

“We have a son…” He started and you flinched, taking a sharp breath but not moving from your place in the doorway with your arms wrapped around your waist to protect yourself from what was going to come.

“I—I can’t believe this.” He spoke again and you bit your lip. Was he going to scream? Shout? Was he going to tell you that you should’ve aborted it? He stood up, albeit on shaky legs but still made his way towards you, keeping a few feet of distance between you.

You were scared of how he would react. You were worried about what he would say.

“I want to meet—”

“You can’t.” You said firmly, clenching your jaw hard as your nails dug into your palms. This was possibly the worst thing he could’ve said.

“Look I know that I shouldn’t have left. I realize that now. It was the worst thing I’ve ever done in my entire life and I’m sorry. But he’s my son too, please let me—”

“I lost it.” You murmured, not being able to meet his eyes and instead just lowered your eyes, “I lost our son.”

Just like that, Dick Grayson’s world began to crumble before his eyes.

“I woke up one night, in a pool of blood,” You spoke, screwing your eyes shut as you tried to fight the onslaught of tears. Dick immediately pulled you into a hug and you didn’t fight it, instead you fisted his shirt in your hands to keep you in this world and keep you from reliving that day.

 “I called the ambulance and even though they got me to the hospital and did first aid, he was already gone when I got there.” You cried into his neck and his arms were tight around your shaking form, but he was shedding silent tears into your hair.

“It wasn’t your fault.” He said, voice cracking with guilt and a sob broke through you.

“That’s what everyone else said. But—I just—Can’t help but wonder what would’ve happened if I had just been more careful. If I had taken care of myself more. If I had tried harder. We would still have our baby boy.”

“It wasn’t your fault.” He said once more, firmly this time, that you almost began to believe him.

“I was his mother. I was supposed to protect him. I failed.”

“I was his father. I was supposed to protect the both of you. I’m sorry I failed you.” He wanted to tell you that he loved you. The words were just on the tip of his tongue. But he couldn’t bring himself to. He couldn’t say it. He didn’t deserve to love you. And he didn’t deserve to tell you.

“I’m sorry (Y/N).” He said again before he broke down and the two of you fell to the floor, crying in each other’s arms.

Forever Taglist: @simonsbluee​

DC Taglist: @emmacata​