#no thoughts only dick

[yourbbygirlxo]

thinking about your pretty dick.

thinking about spending hours with just your dick in my mouth.

thinking about sucking in that tip till /I/ feel satisfied.

thinking about edging myself to the sounds you make.

[captain-mozzarella]

Tim: so why do you constantly dye your little white streak? It's gotta be a nuisance to keep up with that

Jason: ?

Dick: he's dying it? I thought it was a side effect of the pit??

Jason: ??

Damian: the pit does not cause a change in hair colours, Todd is obviously going grey prematurely.

Jason: I have vitiligo??? What the fuck

[flamingpudding]

Bruce stared. He had just been lecturing one of his son on his gala manners. Dick or Jason were usually the ones misbehaving like that, not Tim! What had gotten into his son to behave like that in public when he wasn't even in a sleep deprived state. Of course, Bruce had to lecture his kid and benched him for the night to get some sleep because Tim had to be sleep deprived to act like that. That was untill said son, he was lecturing, came through the front door shouting at him for leaving him behind at the gala.

His head swayed between Tim and the teen he had apparently just abducted and possibly has now knowledge of their secret identities.

Okay, maybe Alfred was right about his amount of sleep. Bruce brain went to overdrive, he could play it all of with an extended Brucie act.

That was before the teen lifted on hand in a calming manner and sheepishly smiled at him.

Danny: I get the whole secret identity thing, but i dont think it's a good idea to bench me, when ghost might come attacking. I won't tell a soul about yours if you keep mine! I can make a death vow if that helps. So can I call vlad now? As much as I like getting on his nerves and away from him. HE is my original ride home.

Tim: Wait, Vlad Masters who pestered ME all night is your guardian?

Bruce continued staring at the teen that looked like Tim and was now talking to his son while his son was parallel texting on his phone. No doubt telling his other sibling.

Good, they will never let this go and Alfred will use this situation against him next time he works through several nights.

[rin-may-1103]

The Wrong Robin Au (part three)

Previous | Next

Danny never said he knew what he was doing, but he thinks he's doing something right if the kid hasn't started crying yet. so you know, that's great. now, he just needed to get the kid out of here, so Danny could have a moment to mourn his retirement plans.

He wasn't going to blame the kid, ancients know Danny would have gone back to hero work eventually. He just couldn't let things go if he could help it, and he could in this situation.

"Alright, here's the plan." Danny announced, slapping his legs as he stood up. "it's late, you're a kid who needs sleep. let's get you home, then we can get a game plan on how to do this."

Tim had been nodding his head, even if it was reluctantly, before freezing in sudden realization. Danny raised his eyebrow in question, wondering what was wrong now.

"you want my help?" Tim asked, absolutely gobsmacked.

Oh, the kid thought Danny was just going to send him away like any reasonable adult would. Ha, Danny wished. but no. He had no clue what he was doing and this kid was his only trump card for making any of the half-assed plans still forming in his head work. AND he had a feeling if he didn't keep Tim close by, the kid would run off and do something stupid.

"Yep," Danny snorted, "you were smart enough to figure out who Batman was, and then you decided to take it upon yourself to help him; whether by convincing me to do it or yourself."

"Now then," Danny said as he walked over to the couch and pulled his hoodie from under Sam. Sam, to her credit, told him to fuck off and went back to snoring. Tucker, somehow having heard her, responded with a 'Go fuck yourself'.

Shaking his head, Danny turned back to Tim. "Let's get going. It's-" Danny turned to look at the clock, his eyes narrowing when he found it; 4 am. The kid was up and coherent enough to try and blackmail someone into being Robin at four in the morning. "-four. you seriously need to get some sleep kid. It's a school night." actually, what day was it???

Tim rolled his eyes but started to follow Danny out the door. "It's Saturday, and I've stayed up longer," he grumbled.

Danny snorted, "So have I, but we still need to sleep." He should probably try and prevent the kid from staying up longer than he should. Danny knows what years of not sleeping properly does to someone. The kid's obsessed with Batman and Robin, right? He'll just use them then.

"Robin needs all the sleep he can get. Otherwise, Batman will bench him. If Robin is benched, then who is out there helping Batman?" That's convincing, right? Does Batman even have the power to bench Robin? From the sounds of it, Robin is his kid's vigilante name. Which means he totally has the power to ground them.

Wait...

If Danny was going to be Robin, does that mean Batman would think he's his kid?

Oh, hell naw. He was not going to be adopted by another fruitloop! If Bruce Wayne even thinks about it, Danny will be out of there so fast even the Flash couldn't stop him.

Tim stumbled, his eyes wide in surprise. "Really?" he asks, turning to look at Danny in horror. Danny blinked, brain failing to remember why the kid would be surprised.

shit, what were they talking about?? Robin... It's four am... Right!

"Yep," Danny chirped, leading the kid to his car. "Now, I know everyone says not to get into a stranger's car and all that jazz, but it's the only way I'm getting you home. So, hop in."

Tim didn't even hesitate to jump into the passenger seat, pulling the seat belt across his chest. Danny stared at him for a second, before opening the car door and sitting down.

"kid, you do know you're not supposed to get into strangers' cars, right?" Danny asked, closing the door and buckling up. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his keys and started the engine.

"Well, yeah?" Tim replied, turning to face him, "But you're not a stranger. You're Robin. You protect people not hurt them."

and well? Danny can't argue with that, now, can he?

"Right, fine. Just promise not to get into strangers' cars. I don't care how much you think you know about them. It's not safe, and you could get hurt."

Tim hummed, thinking about it for a moment before nodding his head. "Yeah, alright. I promise."

"good." Danny sighed, turning to look at the road to see if it was clear. then he sighed again, "Don't tell strangers where you live, please."

Tim looked at him in amusement, a small smile spreading across his face. "Drake manor. 1015 Mountain Drive. It's in the Crest Hill community."

"You're killing me here, kid." Danny groaned, hitting his head against the steering wheel. Then he slowly lifted his head and turned to stare at Tim, "Kid. How the hell did you get all the way over here? Mountain Drive is all the way over in Bristol??? That's, like, twelve miles outside of city limits?"

"I have my ways."

Danny narrowed his eyes, "You bribed someone, didn't you."

Tim looked away from him, fiddling with his fingers.

sighing, Danny sat up and started driving down the road. They sat in silence for a while, just listening to the chaos that was Gotham City as they drove. Tim eventually slumped over, his head resting against the window.

It took a good thirty minutes before Danny could turn onto the bridge out of town. The traffic wasn't heavy, just the occasional car here and there. It was almost peaceful.

"Turn here," Tim suddenly instructed, startling Danny.

"Tim!" Danny cried, turning to look at the kid, then back at the road. although, he did do as the kid instructed. "don't do that! you'll give me a heart attack or something! Ancients!"

Tim blinked, then shrugged. "ok," he yawned, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"my house is the one with really stupid-looking ducks carved into the gates." Tim supplied, waving his hand at the road ahead of them. "Bruce's is the one with bats, but you knew that."

"Right," Danny agreed. What were the chances that Batman happened to live in a place called Gotham and in a house with black iron gates covered in bats? It was almost as coincidental as Danny's last name sounding like Phantom. Fate really had quite the sense of humor, didn't they?

after they passed a few more dirt roads, Tim pointed at a specific one, "Turn here. The gates a little further back than everyone else's."

Danny hummed, turning the car onto the road. What was his life at this point? Driving children to their huge houses at four-thirty in the morning? agreeing to become Robin? coming out of retirement because a kid asked him to?

Bruce Wayne better appreciate all the effort this kid was going through...

A tall gate slowly popped into view, making Danny slow the car down until he could stop right in front of it. "Alright, kid. You're home. get some sleep. Go to school, I don't know, what do you rich kids do on the weekends? actually, you know what? It doesn't matter, do you have a phone?"

Tim blinked as he slowly unbuckled, "yes?"

"One that's not monitored by your parents or anyone else?"

"..."

Danny sighed, reaching into his back pocket to pull out his phone. "Here," Danny unlocked it, went to settings and pressed the factory rest option. Once the phone finished the reset, he quickly scanned through it to make sure it was all gone before adding his second phone number. once done, he tossed it over to the kid. "here, should work for now. Don't let anyone else have it."

If this was any other situation, Danny would have gone straight to the kid's parents; but considering it was past four in the morning and there wasn't a city-wide amber alert? He has a feeling the kid needs a safety net, and well? What better than a direct line to him?

"I can't just take your phone!" Tim cried, catching the phone before it could fall to the ground.

"It's my backup one. I tend to break my phone pretty often, so I always keep an extra one on me. my current number is saved on it, you can reach out and get in contact with me now." Danny waved off the kid's concern, reaching into the back of the car to grab a bag.

with how often his phone had broken during ghost fights and how frequently his parents dissected his phone for parts? It's a habit at this point to have a backup. or Ten. Pulling the bag to the front, Danny showed the kid what was inside.

"..." Tim blinked, then looked up at Danny. "why do you have a bag of broken phones in your car?"

"Because my phones keep breaking and I figured it would be easier to just keep them for extra parts than toss them. Now," Danny tossed the bag into the back, ignoring how it tipped over and spilled the contents all over the seat. He'd clean it up later. Maybe. "It's early. You need sleep, I need sleep. We can pick another day to sit down and build a game plan."

Tim sat in silence for a moment, staring at the phone in his hands, before glancing up at Danny. "You really mean it?" he asked, turning the phone around anxiously, "you really want my help?"

"kid, Tim," Danny started, tilting his head so he could make eye contact. "with how bad you say Batman's gotten? I'm going to need all the help I can get. Who better than the one who went out of his way to try and actually do something about it?"

Tim's eyes watered as he looked back at the phone. "ok," he whispered, nodding his head. Reaching up, he wiped his face clean before taking a deep breath and letting it out.

"ok," he repeated, voice stronger now. "I'll help. I want to."

"Good," Danny nodded in agreement, then smiled. "get some sleep kid, you need it."

"I don't need it," Tim grumbled, turning to open the door and get out. "but if that's what it takes for you to allow me to help, then I guess I can take a nap or something."

Danny snorted, watching as Tim closed the car door and started making his way to the gate.

as soon as the kid was out of view, Danny slammed his head onto the steering wheel and groaned. He had definitely jinxed himself earlier. How hard can being Ribin be? Yeah right. He hasn't even gotten to meet Bruce yet and he's already stressed.

...

Glancing up, Danny watched as the clock glitched then turned to five am.

...

Well then, he might as well do something productive since it was unlikely he'd be getting any more sleep if he went back. Sam would be up by the time he got there, which meant he'd have to answer all of her questions... which would wake Tucker up, which would mean Danny'd have to explain all over again.

Glancing around, Danny suddenly realized something.

Batman.

Bruce Wayne was Batman.

Bruce Wayne; as in, Gotham's own himbo billionaire.

Who lives in Bristol.

Which is where he is right now. Logically speaking, he'd be able to find it pretty fast if he just looked at the gates. It's probably just a few houses from Tim's too, now that he thought about it...

Oh, this was a terrible idea, but when had that ever stopped Danny?

Jazz was so going to kill him for this.

Next

[bruciemilf]

For personal reasons (im a whore), I need Harvey Dent to be an absolute unit

[pokeberry5]

thug beatdown round 2: electric boogaloo

(extras, cw flashing gif:)

alt:

the fit:

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Damian isn’t happy about father’s rule not to hurt the gaggle of false kids he has acquired. How is he supposed to prove to him that he is the only one worthy of the title of heir now?

But fine. Most of them are stupid enough they’ll end up dead sooner or later. Damian just has to play the long game. Establish himself as the only constant.

But then father’s wayward son, Todd, comes home… and it’s so much worse than Damian expected.

He remembers this man. Remembers him from hushed whispers in the League, from mother’s creased eyebrow, and training halls drenched with blood.

And he’ll take one look at Damian and know. Know that he’s a threat to his position.

And the worst thing: Damian isn’t allowed to defend himself.

[fabuloustrash05]

Adam is known to be an egotistical misogynist in Hazbin Hotel. He’s a huge fuck boy and thinks that every woman wants him because he’s “the original dick”, so Lucifer not only coming in and pointing out to Adam that he bang his first wife (Lilith), but also insinuating that he also banged his second (Eve) has gotten to be the most humiliating insult and inflicted more damage to Adam than him actually getting stabbed.

[chaoticshark98]

Steel balls

[anxiousbabybird]

I wanna know which of y’all’s men is “just the tip, baby”-ing his way to your cervix and breeding you

[latenightsundayblues]

Lawrence squirmed uneasily; the mere sight of the individual across the room had initially managed to knock the air out from his lungs and squeeze his heart mercilessly, a breath held tightly within his chest tinted with the taste of bile. His lips parted absentmindedly when his vision finally cleared itself seconds later and allowed him to take a good look at the man, who, unsurprisingly, was definitely not Adam Faulkner. It's just the new janitor. Gordon wasn't sure whether the pang he felt afterwards was one of relief or disappointment.

Although the uncanny resemblance still disturbed him greatly, he could now identify various signs that should've tipped him off to that sooner (other than Adam being, well, dead); slightly longer hair reaching the base of David's damp neck-- Gordon had managed to catch his name in the tag on his uniform--, a gnarly red line ripped along his cheekbone altering the path of the sweat drops rolling down his forehead and a sarcastic tone of voice without the intention of lightening the mood, but tainted with a certain degree of hostility. Gordon would've risked calling it defensive, even.

He tried not to think too much about the stranger as he drove back to his lamentably empty apartment, to no avail.

[flamingpudding]

That's my baby brother you attacked

Jazz stood in her Fenton Ghost Peeler Suit and crossed arms before a group of Gothams vigilantes. Her little brother was hugging her around the shoulder, in his Phantom form and floating. His face pressed into her shoulder and letting out quite ghostly whines couple with her name in ghost speech. He was clearly distressed.

With crossed arms, she glared at Gotham's vigilantes. They stood before her as a group. But the front took... Nightwing? She believed that was the name he used to introduce himself, who had the current Robin clinging to his arm. The kid looked as distressed as her brother, and normally, she would care to help, but right now, she was in protective sister mode. HER brother came first.

"We really mean no harm. It's just Robin and the others mistook him for a clone, and we would like to-"

"No." She cut the guy off. She glanced at HER baby brother, still refusing to look up and face the situation as he made another ghostly whine, before looking back at the group of vigilantes.

"I can see how they could be related." She raised an eyebrow below the visor at how hopeful the groups stance became. They don't know Danny's human form, but that's the excuse they use for attack her brother? They assumed he was a clone just because he looked like the inverted image of one of them? Fat chance that she would let them anywhere near him now. "But, you attacked MY baby brother-"

"And we are very sorry about that!" Nightwing cut in but Jazz ignored it.

"The point is you attacked him. I don't care if they are related. This is MY baby brother and if that is their reaction on seeing him and handling his own ghost rogues. I will NOT allow them to be part of his life unless Phantom wants it himself."

Turning around, she pat her baby brothers head and whispered to him in ghost speech. "Common Danny, let's go. Let's visit that planetarium you wanted to see later. After that we never have to come to Gotham again, I can go to another university somewhere far away from here."

They didn't know Phantom was Danny Nightingale, neither did they know that she was Jasmine Nightingale. This would be a one-time meeting and stay that way. Her baby brother did not need people like that in his life after the falling out with their parents they had.

[chepib3]

dick has always liked hanging out in dark rooftops to brood don't let anyone tell you he picked that up from bruce They are both cut out from the same freak material

[hood-ex]

I think that after Dick and Jason beat the shit out of each other, they should just be like, "Isn't it weird that we're the only ones who remember what Bruce used to be like?" And they should nurse their wounds while gruffly reminiscing about Bruce giving them piggyback rides and wrestling with them for funsies.

[batfamhyperfixation]

Dick and Jason talking on a rooftop

Dick: So you just, like, told that crime alley kid you guys are family now?

Jason: look Dick, if you don't like someone's family, you gotta become their family. If I'm those kids' big brother, then I know they have at least one family member who cares about them.

Dick: You're turning into your father

Jason:

Jason: I will give you 5 seconds before I beat you to a bloody pulp

Batman: *suddenly standing over them* You will do no such thing

Jason and Dick:

Jason and Dick: *both hanging onto the roof, trying to pull themselves up*

Jason: I can't believe you summoned him

Dick: Me? It was you and your 'beat you to a bloody pulp'

[bruciemilf]

Re-watching Spiderverse. My curiosity wills me to make an AU where Jason gets thrown in an intricate mess of multiverses where he's adopted by almost all Bruce variants.

"So let me get this straight,"

of course, he's god's most hated freak, and the ONE person who can guide him through this mess is a small, annoying, cartoon version of Dick.

"This is a network of intricate, interdimensional realities stitched to a 'canon' tapestry. And Batman has to lose me in every single one to hold it up."

"Sure! There's a less idiotic way of putting it, but I like your enthusiasm. "

Jason's urge to squeeze this funko pop motherfucker until the life slowly bleeds away grows. It can wait, thought.

Currently, he's trying to help with neutralizing a version of Bizarro. Poor guy must've gotten lost again. Very strange that only one Bruce accompanied him, thought.

"So how many Batmen are there, exactly? Seems like one's enough." He mutters, refusing to let the familiar warmth infest his body when thinking of how they look at Jason.

Like the universe ends and starts with him.

"Oh there's a whole bunch! We have 80s Batman, cowboy Batman, Batman who cries, Batman who sings opera, Looney Toones Batman, -- a personal favorite, -- really the numbers are unlimited!"

Jason watches with strange sense of unease as this one variant handles Bizzaro. "And that's who? Biker gang leader Batman?"

Nightmite gets quiet for a second. Jason pauses, because THAT’S strange.

This eery nervousness only springs when this Bruce, -- not as old as everyone, hell, not even as old as JASON, -- glues a green device on Bizzaro's chest and leaps away.

"That's, uh...Batman who kills."

Jason doesn't have time to react as a booming explosion overwhelmes his senses. His knees are weak. And not just because the ugly stench of burning flesh invades his senses.

But because this Bruce, this Batman, is aiming for him and quick. That mask sends him right on edge. He hates the way it only covers Bruce's mouth, forcing Jason to gaze into sharp, brutal blue eyes.

"Jason?"

"What the fuck is wrong with you," Jason snarls before anything else. "He was detained! He wasn't a threat anymore!"

"He got roofed with red kryptonite and destroyed half a neighborhood. What did you want me to do?"

"Come up with another plan! Trap him, knock him out! Blowing him to pieces doesn't solve anything!" Jason yells, Nightmite looking incredibly worried and hiding behind his shoulder. "Try TALKING to him. Show him some fucking mercy."

"We tried that before. It's not working." He says, "Mercy doesn't get results."

"It gets you HUMANITY."

"If your Batman thought you that, he already failed."