#not completely in order but THIS WAS VERY DIFFICULT

[married-to-google-translater]

This was my birthday request (I completely forgot to send it in because I was busy, but if you don’t want to write this it’s completely fine!)

Yandere Housewardens vs their Tsums who are constantly stealing Readers’ attention away from them? This can mainly be Leona, Malleus and Azul

Riddle’s Tsum was honestly my favorite in the event because of how much of a brat the little guy was towards Riddle (and everyone else) not following orders

And Leona’s Tsum was just shameless (He was so cute) just imagining him kneading Reader’s legs as he gets ready to nap

If you don’t want to write this then I completely understand!

Haaaaappy birthdayyyy toooo youuuuu ❤️

This is for Yandere Riddle and Malleus

Leona and Azul will come later~

Yandere Riddle Rosehearths

Everything would be fine between you and Riddle at first.

Or as good as a yandere and Darling relationship could be.

However, everything would change very soon.

One day Tsum Tsum was there and it wanted all your attention.

Riddle doesn't really know how to feel about this.

Even if Tsum Tsum were a version of him, it would bear almost no resemblance to him.

Riddle would certainly have disagreements with Tsum Tsum.

Riddle feels like it doesn't respect him at all.

He would be right lol.

Riddle could try to make rules with Tsum Tsum.

However, Tsum Tsum wouldn't care much XD

Because of this, Riddle's control would shift to you.

You are his "partner" and he could influence you.

Riddle would do his best to try and keep you busy.

He would be surprisingly good at it.

You'd also have a LOT more in common stuff with Riddle.

He would never admit to being jealous lol

Of course, you could try to meet Riddle Tsum Tsum secretly.

You should be really careful.

If Riddle found out about this he would be really upset.

Yandere Malleus Draconia

You and Malleus haven't actually dated yet.

However, she had already begun the traditional fae courtship rituals.

You wouldn't know anything about this.

However, everything changes when Malleus Tsum Tsum arrives.

Tsum Tsum wouldn't really be a yandere.

However, like Malleus, Tsum Tsum also likes you very much.

This whole situation would be really funny.

Malleus was actually jealous of himself XD.

However, this would not stop him.

After his Tsum Tsum came your attention was hard to get.

It felt like you were only hanging out with Tsum Tsum.

Malleus' jealousy would not be difficult to notice.

A thunderstorm rages over the NRC for many weeks.

It doesn't help when you keep talking about how cute Malleus Tsum Tsum is.

Oh this would definitely lead to a kidnapping.

After all, Malleus wouldn't want to share you with anyone.

[tollsoftheclockwerkbelle]

sega please do not save maria please do not save maria PLEASE do not save mariaaaaaaa sega PLEASE

[institute-of-dolls]

I have a question that may be a bit strange since I feel like I should know what to do myself but I need a bit of advice.

Here's the thing, I have a doll who's purpose is to be cared for but she's not used to being vulnerable. She's not used to just... letting go and letting me do what I'm supposed to do when it comes to properly taking care of her. She's worried about it making her look weak or lazy.

Do you have any advice on how to help her just... accept it? I do everything I can to reassure her that it's fine but, once she lets go it doesn't take her long to try and fight it, even though she wants to accept her purpose too.

I'm open for suggestions and advice from other dollmakers and owners out there too.

Hey there, This is a very good question, and, I will admit, one I'm going to ask for other input on as well.

This is a difficult one, it's hard to find how to be vulnerable when it hasn't been safe to.

I must admit, I might not have the best experience or advise for this- a few dolls close to me have this issue as well, and I am learning to help them but it's difficult. And to be honest, I struggle with this too: learning how to turn it all off and unwind, relax, be vulnerable. It's hard.

The best way I know how is… well, slow. It's about creating the safety they aren't used to in order to allow them to learn to unmask or unwind or relax to allow themselves to be vulnerable You have to be patient and gentle in places where it can be hard to be. Work to create practices and spaces that allow them to practice, maybe in little bursts. Use that space to allow them to be vulnerable, and then give the space for that vulnerable part to be imperfect. Being unable to be vulnerable is often about hyper-vigilance, an inability to risk being unsafe. It is a learned method of being safe, which means it needs to be consciously unlearned, which takes practice and time.

From a more practical advice, I've tried a few things for me and my dolls.

One of these was requiring maintenance time. Basically assigning rest and down time as a task, a chore, to be completed. This takes the process from being about making the doll convince itself to rest on its own and instead makes it a required service; a task like any other. It's a band-aid solution, but it makes a dedicated time to practice, and takes some of the cognitive load off of the doll.

Another one was taking some self-care stuff and making them something like a service task. Sit and listen to you while you do its hair for it or similar things. It again, makes it part of the dolls purpose, lets the doll re-frame it, and allows it practice. And it lets you take care of it for a bit in the process.

We also do a thing sometimes called game piloting. We have some dolls in my group that are very into, good at, or willing to learn highly specific or difficult games that a person doesn't want to. They play it together, the doll playing with the other making the choices. This lets you do some re-framing again, and creates another together activity in the process. It allows you to assign taking downtime for hobby or fun if the doll struggles with that on their own.

These all don't all directly address vulnerability, and might be not perfectly relevant. But they do let you have structured ways to practice it, and does allow them to practice being cared for, resting, and downtime.

If anyone has some advice, as always do speak up. It's always appreciated and would be rather helpful.



[chemicalarospec]

Picture of Jane Eyre and Mr. Rochester. The caption is "me and the ugly short baddie I pulled by being autistic." Either of them could have written it. Do you see my vision.

[murdermeadow]

I feel like Mio had to relearn how to love Noah after her time with N

[whaliiwatching]

jeffannie for a friend

[silver-grasp]

My problem with writing is that I have many many Concepts but no plot to go with them and also the concepts aren't That good anyway and I have no idea what to Do with them so they just rattle around in my head

[vaugarde]

also wow “next gym will be opelucid” thats a damn lie

[hashem-fromgaza]

Please Stop don’t skip 🛑🙏🏼

I live in gaza 🇵🇸

I really need help 😢

There was a source of income that we used to eat and drink thanks to this work, we were living a decent life that we had dreams, but…

It was completely destroyed by the occupation forces, and now we have to start from scratch, But where do we get that from?! ; What do we do!!! We do not have the money to establish a new factory or at least open a simple project to continue our lives, to eat and drink, and there is something more difficult than that. I have two brother who are studying medicine in Egypt. They have only completed one year and have a long way to go. Don't they have the right to achieve what they dream of? We are about to lose hope. It has become very difficult. Where can we pay for their university to complete this dream ! 😣💔

I say that and with deep regret, we have been destroyed 😔

But we decided to overcome the challenge and prosperity; we decided to be one of the hands that contribute to the reconstruction of Gaza, please donate in order to rebuild our factory to complete our lives and to live a decent life with my family and I as before

If you think we deserve help, contribute for my family 🙏🏼

Even $5 will make a big difference and save us!

Thank you in advance whether you contributed or not 💔

Verified by:

@90-ghost

@sar-soor

@heba-20

@riding-with-the-wild-hunt

@riding-with-the-wild-hunt @palestinegenocide @communistchilchuck @palentonga @fairuzfan @opencommunion @northgazaupdates @ibtisams @sar-soor @communistchilchuck @el-shab-hussein @nabulsi @butterfly-pumpkin @ramelcandy @petracourtjester @labutansa @sammywo @tortiefrancis @sparklinpixiedust @revcuse @leftismsideblog @star-and-space-ace @rainbowywitch @oursapphirestars @annoyingloudmicrowavecultist @the-bastard-king @13ag21k @ammonitetheseaserpent @hametsukaishi @malcriada @brutaliakhoa @feluka @appsa @aces-and-angels @buttercuparry @three-croissants @akajustmerry @wellwaterhysteria @rhubarbspring @schoolhater @magnus-rhymes-with-swagness @journalsforpalestine @pcktknife @transmutationisms @sawasawako @timetravellingkitty

[heritageposts]

I'm writing again to bring attention to the GFM campaign of @salahahmed90 (Salah) and @salahmanarfamily (Manar), the parents of two young children in Gaza.

Here's an updated Salah posted last night, after he and his family were displaced for the sixth time:

Please help us, we are being subjected to genocide in Gaza. Hours ago, a house was bombed next to the place where we are and escaped death miraculously. Help us get out of Gaza in order to preserve our children.

Though Salah and Manar started out with the hopes of rebuilding, they've now made the difficult choice to begin saving up for an evacuation. Their campaign, however, is still very low on funds, and its been stagnating completely for the last few days, leaving them with barely enough for their immediate survival.

-> GFM link

The campaign has been verified by @/90-ghost.

If you can, please consider donating. Even a small contribution can make a big difference for the family.

Currently: €3,650 / €70,000

[qqueenofhades]

https://www.tumblr.com/qqueenofhades/743255237060689920/the-thing-that-confuses-me-about-the-dont-vote

The “don’t vote” left’s point is basically that, if Biden gets a second term, it’ll basically signal that “They’ll vote for us as long as we’re not Republicans, why don’t we do some REAL fucked up shit, if we can get away with it?” It takes the power out of the people’s hands and places it firmly in the party’s.

I can’t completely disagree with that, my caveat is that there’s no real alternative system or party in place, because top-down change is ineffective; a third party president has to contend with a two party congress.

Except no. This whole "Biden just wants to do as much fucked up shit as possible while not being a Republican, and if you give him a second term he'll do more fucked up shit deliberately to spite you" mindset is only possible as an interpretation if you a) deliberately and comprehensively ignore everything he has done to date, and b) you approach the situation with the maximum bad faith possible. Not to mention, the ultimate outcome of this Big Important Teaching Biden A Lesson is that Trump gets back into power and makes everything orders of magnitude worse, because he does in fact want to deliberately do evil shit to everyone and says so at every opportunity. There is not some magical happy alternative that springs into existence by not voting. If you choose this as a year to Teach Biden A Lesson, you are enabling Trump. Trump will be much, much worse. If you don't care about that, I still do not care what your Great Ideology is. You are not helping anyone and you are directly and irreversibly hurting everyone.

I made a post a few days ago wherein I mentioned that I want to assess Biden fairly, taking into account both strengths and weaknesses, but the rampant bad-faith, lying, misreading, misrepresentation, and open sabotage of him (especially by the online left; the GOP sometimes only wishes they were as good at turning Biden's voter pool against him) makes it really difficult to do that. My frustration with those people makes me just want to go "BIDEN IS GREAT THE END." I know he is a flawed old man (though by literally every account of a career spent in public service, he really does care about making the world a better place and any remotely good faith reading of his accomplishments thus far can see that). It is also very likely that he goes MORE left in a second term because he won't have to face the electorate again, he has always gone more left when pushed before, and he's not actually the scheming genocidal mastermind that leftist social media paints him as. Shocking, I know.

I know there are things in the world we don't like and don't want and want to stop, and therefore we blame our own president for not making it stop. But I have zero, no, none, absolutely none whatsoever sympathy for this pseudo-populist "WE NEED TO TEACH BIDEN A LESSON BY ELECTING TRUMP AGAIN, I AM VERY MORAL MUCH ACTIVIST" mindset. There's this funny thing about America wherein it is still (for now) a democracy. If Biden wins a second term, he can't run again. I would take literally anything these people said more seriously if they focused on developing their dream progressive successor for 2028 (and also figured out how to get that person elected and in a place to make real change) rather than cynically sabotaging Biden in the most consequential election year, again, of our lifetimes. If you don't like him now, find a way to make his successor a better option. Throwing a toddler tantrum and handing the country back to a senile, deranged, fascist, revenge-riddled, theocratic Trump HELPS. NOBODY. I still don't know how many times I'm going to have to say that, but yeah.

[motomamita]

fugitive!könig × naive!farmer!reader

warnings: smut, +18, no condom, innocence kink, breeding kink, baby trapping, virginity loss, female reader, dub-con!!

fugitive!könig who managed to escape the law, after committing several crimes, and now travels throughout the country hiding his identity.

On one of his many trips he ends up arriving at a small town, almost lost in time, where its few inhabitants live off their animal farms and orchards. Apparently no one had televisions, and the few radios only broadcast music that was overshadowed by static. This ensured that no one there would be able to recognize him and gave him the opportunity to stay and rest for a few hours.

Tired of walking and extremely hungry, König sat down in a small cafe to have a drink. The people around him looked at him strangely, not only because they didn't know him but also because of his intimidating appearance. His back was broad, he had long legs, and the muscles in his arms were noticeable even though he was wearing a wind jacket that covered him. However, no one seemed to be bothered by his presence, the people there loved tourists and König seemed completely like one.

When it was time to pay, he noticed that he had ordered and consumed more than he could afford. He was about to offer some of his "camping" knives in exchange for the money he was missing until a figure approached him.

"Don't worry if you don't have the money to pay." you spoke with a sweet voice and doing everything possible so that Konig would not feel embarrassed. "I sell the fruits to the owner of the place so I'm sure I can reach an agreement with him."

König was fascinated by you. Not only because of your timely friendliness but also your very natural and almost unique appearance that was very difficult to find in other places. You were wearing a jean gardener, some comfortable shoes and you were carrying a basket that minutes ago was full of fruits and vegetables from your garden. König looked down, somewhat shy and not knowing how to react to you, the truth is that during his escape he had not met many friendly people.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to ask you for anything in return." You smiled when you saw that no words came out of his mouth. "Here we greatly appreciate tourists and travelers, after all they are the ones who keep this small town from turning into a ghost town."

You invited König to take refuge in your small house for as long as he needed before leaving again for another place. König accepted, surprised at your remarkable naivety in letting a complete stranger into your house and providing him with all the care.

When he arrived, you showed him where the shower was and what his room would be where he could rest. You left a clean change of clothes on his bed and selflessly went off to make dinner. Once he cleaned, König followed the delicious smell and came to the kitchen where you were on your back stirring a large pot of what seemed to be a stew. You were so focused that you didn't notice the presence of the big man behind you. he thought about how easy it would be to cut your neck with one of those long knives you had there. But the idea quickly disappeared when you turned around and a wide smile formed on your face when you saw him.

That stew was the best he had tasted in a long time, so much so that he served himself 3 plates, leaving you totally pleased. The next morning, König didn't really know exactly what to do. He could stay one more night and wake up in the middle of the night to raid your entire home, even leave after having a trip with you. He was hesitant, and that hesitation turned into doubt when you offered to cut his hair and trim his long beard, which he accepted.

That same afternoon König sat down to drink a lemonade made by you while he watched you harvest super large, red strawberries from a distance. He fixed his gaze on the way your pants hugged your butt in a tempting way and how you hummed a melody quietly that he couldn't make out. A tingling appeared in König's tummy and he suddenly noticed an erection growing inside his pants. You looked so pretty, so innocent. It was obvious from afar that you didn't kill a fly and that your care for him was sincere.

The days passed and König seemed to have no intention of leaving, that didn't bother you at all. Now he helped you with the heavy work on the farm, carrying large amounts of hay on his shoulder and feeding the animals. His favorite activity was watching you milk the cows, fantasizing about your hands and the way the milk dripped from them.

His approaches to you intensified, taking advantage of the slightest opportunity to touch you or rub against you. he soon discovered that you had no idea about any sexual activity, acting confused at his double meaning words and insinuations. You were the perfect muse to fulfill all his fantasies without anyone being able to stop him.

Your parents had died a long time ago, leaving you alone in charge of the big farm and all the obligations of the adult world. That led König to think that life on that farm couldn't be bad. He knew how to handle hard work well and you did everything you could to teach him and please him. The idea of ​​starting from scratch, with you there, totally convinced him.

You were a healthy, hard-working woman and you needed someone like konig with you. But König needed to have something that would force you to keep him there with you, forever and that would confirm the mutual love that you both had to give each other. That's when he found the solution: he had to get you pregnant.

That afternoon he made a point that you wouldn't leave the stable until you were full of his cum. He started by complimenting your dress and how pretty that color looked on you. Then the caresses that increased in intensity until he managed to let you be carried away by him and his carnal desire. Now he had you under him, with your skirt up and your underwear hanging from one of your feet. Out of desperation, König only lowered his pants to his heels, even with his work boots on. You were on a large pile of hay, sweating from the great summer heat and moaning loudly.

His thrusts were brutal, making their way inside you that you barely had time to understand everything that was happening. The pleasure was so much that you could barely think about anything other than König's gaze and the way his balls slapped your ass.

"Oh, baby. You're so so tight.. And wet, shit" König groaned, sighing loudly at the pleasure your pussy was giving him. "Tell me, how did a cute little thing like you stay a virgin for so long, huh?" You opened your mouth to answer but only moans came out. "Uh? Talk to me, sweetheart, talk to me.."

"I.. I don't know.." you managed to say, overstimulated by everything. König's rough shirt rubbed against your clit, giving both pleasure and pain. König was so big that he covered you with his entire body, leaving you with almost no place to breathe air other than his breath.

"Uh? Don't you know? These farm boys are idiots... They wouldn't know how to please a pretty thing like you..." König cut off his sentence to get even closer to you and kiss you, putting his tongue inside your mouth. You tried to keep up with him but that triggered the kiss to be even wetter and hotter for him.

"König.. Give me more, please!" He smiled as he heard the urgency in your broken voice. You looked so pretty like that, almost not understanding what was happening but still pleased and eager for him to give you even more.

He, ready to please you, grabbed your legs and raised them to your shoulder, adopting a new position. His thrusts continued, his fat cock forcing its way into your no longer so virgin pussy and the simple sound of your skin slapping together made your warm walls embrace him. Not really knowing what to do, you brought your hands to König's big, muscular shoulders, feeling a few scars on them.

"Oh, my pretty little thing.. I'm going to fill you inside and you're going to be the prettiest mom in this whole damn town.." You dug your nails into his shoulder and your gaze was filled with confusion. "You like it, huh? You're going to make me so happy, isn't that what you want?"

You hesitated for a few seconds, not sure what he meant but his cock rammed even deeper into you leaving you almost without any thought. Tears formed in your eyes from the pleasure and absolute adoration with which he looked at you.

"Come on, mommy.. Make me happy, carry my precious baby.."

In the same way that König had managed to get his way in prison, he had gotten his way with you. Now you both lived together as a couple on the farm, happy and with a baby on the way inside your fertile womb.

[mahmoud91hilles]

Hello dear

I appeal to all the free people of the world who sympathize with the oppressed everywhere..

We in the Gaza Strip write this letter to you while we are in the most difficult moments of suffering, pain and misery.. The war has destroyed the Gaza Strip and displaced families and killed children, women and the elderly.. Those who remained alive suffer from hunger, thirst and lack of medicines and hospitals..

My family in the Gaza Strip consists of 30 children and women.. The war has deprived the children in my family of safety, going to school and playing like any other child.. Rather, they have become subject to daily suffering to secure food and search for water and medicine..

My family was displaced from the northern Gaza Strip and moved to the southern Gaza Strip and now lives in tents made of cloth and plastic in very difficult and complex tragic conditions.. They do not even find a mattress to sleep on, nor cooking gas, nor any of the necessities of life..

Your help and donations to us are a rescue and an effective contribution to alleviating these harsh conditions..

I am also trying to collect money in order to try to get the family out of the Gaza Strip and escape To Egypt when Rafah crossing opens..

Please help us by donating any amount and contribute to saving us from the hell in the Gaza Strip or help us reach the campaign and spread it widely by reblogging and sharing it with your friends

Thank you for your sympathy

This campaign is completely legitimate and aims to save my family

[burgundywing]

Bats and their least favourite Rogues to deal with (other than Joker of course)

Bruce hates dealing with Two-Face, mostly because of knowing and valuing Harvey as a friend and he feels a sense of guilt that he wasn't able to save the man.

Damian does not enjoy fighting Poison Ivy as he actually agrees with many of her ideologies, and cannot always fully convince himself she's not going about it the right way. Ivy knows this and loves to use it against him. Damian is also not fond of her cuddle pollen as it allows his overbearing older brother to latch onto him like the limpet he is with a viable excuse.

Tim HATES Hatter. Losing control of your mind is basically Tim's worst nightmare. The Joker Junior incident only adds fuel to his mind control terrors. Whenever Hatter gets out the rest of the family has to keep an extra close eye on Tim who tends to give up sleeping in order to put Hatter back in Arkham.

Scarecrow is the least favourite of both Dick and Jason. Although every member of the batfam have their fair share of traumatic memories, Dick and Jason always find reliving theirs hardest to shake off. Any loud thumps after set both of them off, Dick thinking yet another person has hit the floor and Jason thinking it was yet another strike of the crowbar.

Stephanie is terrified of Professor Pyg. He is not as loud and demanding of attention as the rest of the Rogues so the others never consider him as the worst but there is something about him that makes her absolutely sick to her stomach. She's had one close encounter with him and never wants to see him again. If she's a little quick to let someone else take a case that may involve him that's nobody else's business but hers.

Cass is not a fan of Riddler. She is the least equipped to deal with his games as she cannot fully grasp the double meanings of many English words and Riddler has very confusing body language to read. Cass does not like feeling useless and Riddler is terrifying in his own right so being completely unequipped to stop him is not something she enjoys.

Duke hates Condiment King. And Kite Man. Such B-list villains but of course with his luck they always escape on the day shift. Mustard and ketchup are incredibly difficult to get out of the cracks in his armour and Kite Man is annoying and has an unfortunate habit of picking him up and DROPPING HIM. Duke's over it.

[ghost-hawk]

Fair enough

But I’ve also been damaged since I was 3 or 4 and talking was never my strong suit

[maniculum]

Medieval Scorpions Effortpost

So yesterday I reblogged this post featuring an 11th-century depiction of the Apocalypse Locusts from Revelations, noting the following incongruity as another medieval scorpion issue:

The artist, as you can see, has interpreted "tails like scorpions" as meaning "glue cheerful-looking snakes to their butts".

Anyway, it occurred to me that the medieval scorpion thing might not be as widely known as I think it is, and that Tumblr would probably enjoy knowing about it if it isn't known already. So, finding myself unable to focus on the research I'm supposed to be doing, I decided to write about this instead. I'll just go ahead and put a cut here.

As we can see in the image above, at least one artist out there thought a "scorpion" was a type of snake. Which makes it difficult to draw "tails like scorpions", because a snake's tail is not that distinctive or menacing (maybe rattlesnakes, but they don't have those outside the Americas). So they interpreted "tails like scorpions" as "the tail looks like a whole snake complete with head".

Let me tell you. This is not a problem unique to this illustration.

See, people throughout medieval Europe were aware of scorpions. As just alluded to, they are mentioned in the Bible, and if the people producing manuscripts in medieval Europe knew one thing, it was Stuff In Bible. They're also in the Zodiac, which medieval Europe had inherited through classical sources. However, let's take a look at this map:

That's Wikipedia's map of the native range of the Scorpiones order, i.e., all scorpion species. You may notice something -- the range just stops at a certain northern latitude. Pretty much all of northern Europe is scorpion-free. If you lived in the north half of Europe, odds were good you had never seen a scorpion in your life. But if you were literate or educated at all, or you knew they were a thing, because you'd almost certainly run across them being mentioned in texts from farther south. And those texts wouldn't bother to explain what a scorpion was, of course -- everyone knows scorpions, right? When was the last time you stopped to explain What Is Spiders?

So medieval writers and artists in northern Europe were kind of stuck. There was all this scorpion imagery and metaphor in the texts they liked to work from, but they didn't really know what a scorpion was. Writers could kind of work around it (there's a lot of "oh, it's a venomous creature, moving on"), but sometimes they felt the need to break it down better. For this, of course, they'd have to refer to a bestiary -- but due to Bestiary Telephone and the persistent need of bestiary authors to turn animals into allegories, one of the only visual details you got on scorpions was that they... had a beautiful face, which they used to distract people in order to sting them.

And look. I'm not here to yuck anyone's yum, but I would say that a scorpion's face has significant aesthetic appeal only for a fairly small segment of the population. I'm sure you could get an entomologist to rhapsodize about it a bit, but your average person on the street will not be entranced by the face of a scorpion. So this did not help the medieval Europeans in figuring out how to depict scorpions. There was also some semantic confusion -- see, in some languages (such as Old and Middle English), "worm" could be a general term for very small animals of any kind. But it also could mean "serpent".* So there were some, like our artist at the top of the post, who were pretty sure a scorpion was a snake. This was probably helped along by the fact that "venomous" was one of the only things everyone knew about them, and hey, snakes are venomous. Also, Pliny the Elder had floated the idea that there were scorpions in Africa that could fly, and at least one author (13th-century monk Bartholomaeus Anglicus) therefore suggested that they had feathers. I don't see that last one coming up much, I just share it because it's funny to me.

*English eventually resolved this by borrowing the Latin vermin for very small animals, using the specialized spelling wyrm for big impressive mythical-type serpents, and sticking with the more specific snake for normal serpents.

Some authors, like the anonymous author of the Ancrene Wisse, therefore suggested that a scorpion was a snake with a woman's face and a stinging tail. (Everyone seemed to be on the same page with regards to the fact that the sting was in the tail, which is in fact probably the most recognizable aspect of scorpions, so good job there.) However, while authors could avoid this problem, visual artists could not. And if you were illustrating a bestiary or a calendar, including a scorpion was not optional. So they had to take a shot at what this thing looked like.

And so, after this way-too-long explanation, the thing you're probably here for: inaccurate medieval drawings of scorpions. (There are of course accurate medieval drawings of scorpions, from artists who lived in the southern part of Europe and/or visited places where scorpions lived; I'm just not showing you those.) And if you find yourself wondering, "how sure are you that that's meant to be a scorpion?" -- all of these are either from bestiaries or from calendars that include zodiac illustrations.

11th-century England, MS Arundel 60. (Be honest, without the rest of this post, if I had asked you to guess what animal this was supposed to be, would you have ever guessed “scorpion”?)

12th-century Germany, "Psalter of Henry the Lion". (Looks a bit undercooked. Kind of fetal.)

12th-century France, Peter Lombard's Sententiae. (Very colorful, itsy bitsy claws, what is happening with that tail?)

12th-century England, "The Shaftesbury Psalter". (So a scorpion is some sort of wyvern with a face like a duck, correct?)

13th-century France, Thomas de Cantimpré's Liber de natura rerum. (I’d give them credit for the silhouette not being that far off, but there’s a certain bestiary style where all the animals kind of look like that. Also note how few of these have claws.)

13th-century England, "The Bodley Bestiary". (Mischievous flying squirrel impales local man’s hand, local man fails to notice.)

13th-century England, Harley MS 3244. (A scorpion is definitely either a mouse or a fish. Either way it has six legs.)

13th-century England, Harley MS 3244. (Wait, no, it’s a baby theropod, and it has two legs. (Yes, this is the same manuscript, that’s not an error, this artist did four scorpions and no two are the same.))

13th-century England, Harley MS 3244. (Actually it’s a lizard with tiny ears and it has four legs.)

13th-century England, Harley MS 3244. (Now that we’re at the big fancy illustration, I think I’ve got it — it’s like that last one, but two legs, longer ears, and a less goofy face. Also I’ve decided it’s not pink anymore, I think that was the main problem.)

13th-century England, MS Kk.4.25. (A scorpion is a flat crocodile with a bear’s head.)

13th-century England, "The Huth Psalter". (Wyvern but baby! Does not seem to be enjoying biting its own tail.)

13th-century England, MS Royal 1 D X. (This triangular-headed gentlecreature gets the award for “closest guess at correct limb configuration”. If two of those were claws, I might actually believe this artist had seen a scorpion before, or at least a picture of one.)

13th-century England, "The Westminster Psalter". (A scorpion is the offspring of a wyvern and a fawn.)

13th-century England, "The Rutland Psalter". (Too many legs! Pull back! Pull back!)

13th or 14th-century France, Bestiaire d'amour rimé. (This is very similar to the fawn-wyvern, but putting it in an actual Scene makes it even more obvious that you’re just guessing.)

14th-century Netherlands, Jacob van Maerlant's Der Naturen Bloeme. (More top-down six-legged guys that look too furry to be arthropods.)

14th-century Germany, MS Additional 22413. (That is clearly a turtle.)

14th-century France, Matfres Eymengau de Beziers's Breviari d'amor. (Who came up with that head shape and what was their deal?)

15th-century England, "Bestiary of Ann Walsh". (Screw it, a scorpion is a big lizard that glares at you for trying to make me draw things I don’t know about.)

I've spent way too much time on this now. End of post, thank you to anyone who got all the way down here.