#that gotham is in new jersey

[radiosummons]

Currently googling dumb laws in New Jersey in preparation for the results of my Which Batkid Gets Arrested Committing a Stupid Crime poll and ...

Everything but the last one is sending me.

[emo-batboy]

Trick or treat!

Hello :D Here's your treat

Battinson and Cars

He is a car guy. He loves his car. It is his baby. He can fill his car with gas, yes. That is a thing he can do on his own in his own garage with his own gas.

But he does not know how to operate a gas pump. (New Jerseyans are crying in solidarity.)

Bruce gets into so many car accidents.

Like yeah, he's Batman. But he's also that kind of driver who is perfectly okay when he's on autopilot, but the MOMENT he remembers he's driving a death machine on wheels next to other people driving death machines on wheels, and if you accidentally cut them off or forget to use your turn signal, they will rear end you?! He gets a little antsy :/

The second he overthinks it, he's making mistake after mistake. What are you gonna do? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But when he's in his tricked-out batmobile engaging in a high-speed chase while narrowly avoiding death at every turn? A vigilante with no regard for the rules of the road other than "Do Not Hit People?" He’s suddenly a professional stunt driver! Fuck it!

That’s one of the reasons no one could possibly believe he’s Batman

"Bruce Wayne Reverses into Bush at Local Wawa, Cries as He Calls the Cops on Himself"

Then four hours later...

"The Batman Performs INCREDIBLE STUNT on Garden State Parkway, Saves Lives and Kitten Stuck in Tree"

You think these are the same person? Please be serious.

Anyway-

He is the only person in the JL who can reliably parallel park.

He's also a fucking speed demon. (This is Jersey. The Norm is going 90 in a 55. And back to the "autopilot" point) if he's lost in thought, he's definitely breaking the law. And overtaking like five cars a minute.

Alfred taught him to drive (and is lowkey the one that gave him driving anxiety. He is a very strict teacher.) Because of this, his first car was manual :) Now, he prefers it because it feels cool and action-y when he changes gears on the highway.

Bruce got into his first car chase when he was 15. (Baby's First Car Chase <3) Don't ask me how.  Don't ask why. Just know he does. (I mean, I do have an answer but I'm not giving it to you.) This also means he did it without a license because he was too young to even have a permit at the time.

He has a hatred for literally anyone with Pennsylvania or New York plates. Why? Because they’re slow as fuck and try to turn left at the intersection when there is clearly a jughandle??

(Homework for everyone that doesn't live in NJ: Look up "jughandle" or "jersey left" and tell me your thoughts.)

He was so pissed at the amount of potholes in Gotham that he personally filled them as Batman in the middle of the night. (Wtf are his billions of tax dollars going to?)

Once Bruce was muttering curses at the idiot in front of him with NY plates only to see Clark fucking Kent exit the car. Superman could not understand why Batman kept glaring at him for a week.

I did not spell-check this. Happy Halloween :)

[frownyalfred]

"Gotham may be a hole in the ground guarded by a weird furry. But it's OUR hole in the ground and it's OUR weird furry" is peak gothamite behavior, to me

You get them 🙏

[puppetmaster13u]

JL: What do You Got There?

Superman: A Friend :>

Clark has a shadow friend, the rest of the league are concerned and more than a little afraid. They don't know where this thing came from and Clark's answer of Gotham explains nothing. What is Gotham, where is Gotham? They've tried to research it and have come up with nothing. Clark claims it's a city in New Jersey, and is the sister city to Bludhaven??? What sort of fae-bullshit-

[wellensittich01]

That one time Freshly Lazarused!Jason Todd apparently got put in charge of New Jersey

[thebat-musicman]

Im making Gotham a national anthem. This is how far im going for this royalty AU

[jbsforever]

Summary:

It starts the night Batman tries to break one of the most cardinal laws in all of New Jersey: no pumping your own gas.

- - -

Or: as a teenager working at a little gas station in Gotham, Liam has dealt with the craziest of crazies. He thinks he's prepared for anything – until the Batmobile pulls up.

[kittykatninja321]

[evasbatmanblog]

I was trying to explain this to my spouse but then I found this video that made the joke I was trying to tell way better

[dottie-mcveigh]

Do people outside Gotham not threaten to become supervillains over minor inconveniences?

You’re telling me a kid in Metropolis isn’t dropping their coffee and darkly saying “this is my villain origin story”?

[were-wolverine]

another one because i have no self control

alt batfam shifter au (but its animals that are actually native to new jersey cuz why not yk)

alfred: white-tailed deer

bruce: black bear

dick: american mink

jason: raccoon

cass: big brown bat

tim: long-tailed weasel

duke: eastern cottontail

damian: black bear cub

bonus

steph: eastern chipmunk

babs: red squirrel

[nothesunisadeadlylazer]

Hear me out, everything is the same except Jason, Tim, Barbara, Steph, and Duke all have New Jersey accents.

That is all

[fanfic-writer-and-rambler]

Clark Kent listening to Empire State of Mind song.

Clark: These are just references to the state, but it sounds like a beautiful place. I'm going to visit Bruce.

Bruce at his job, drops his pencil.

Bruce: I felt a strange disturbance.

His phone rings, he answers it reluctantly.

Bruce: Hello?

Clark: I'm at your place, are you home?

Bruce: You listened to the song again?

Clark: Yup.

Bruce: I'm not even in New York! Gotham is in Jersey!

Clark: Same thing.

Bruce: Stop making that fucking joke!

Clark chuckles.

[malfiora]

doing research for an AU and wanted to share the goodies in case anyone else was interested.

According to New Jersey law:

To become a legal guardian, one must apply, pass a background check, pay the court filing fee, and show up in court. Guardianship is eligible if the person being cared for is a child whose parents/family can't care for them (newest version of this: kinship legal guardian) or an adult is incapacitated. (More here)

Kinship legal guardians (KLGs) cannot replace parents, who still retain custody and visiting rights and are obligated to financially support their child. On the other hand, adoption means the adopter completely replaces the birth parent(s) for custody. (Even more here) Both biological parents must consent to the adoption, except for the bio dad if he is unaware of the child or does not have a legal commitment to the child. (Yes, more here)

Some interesting points:

Parents retain the right to visit their kids with a KLG and are still responsible for child support for them.

If a child is adopted, they may no longer be eligible for inheritance from their birth/former parents.

KLGs are not allowed to change their child's name; adoptive parents are.

KLGs have to have some connection to the child's family and/or a positive relationship with the child, and have lived with the child for 12 months.

Both guardians and adoptive parents are eligible to government financial support.

Since Bruce never adopted Dick and he's often described as Bruce's ward, Bruce was likely just appointed Dick's legal guardian until he was 18 👌🏾

By NJ law, Bruce wouldn't have been able to adopt Tim, Steph, or Cass since their living parents could or would not consent to it 🙅🏾‍♀️

EDIT: Bruce could (and did) adopt Tim after his parents died/were incapacitated, and Cass probably doesn't even legally exist sooooo

Jason and Duke are fair game 👍🏾

And Damian comes with a no-return policy ❤️

[puppetmaster13u]

You know what I need? I need Batman to be minding his own business, y'know just taking part in a league meeting or being forced to (urgh) socialize. And just in the corner of his eye see one of the batkids start doing something they know they shouldn't, presumably something incredibly dangerous seeing as he gave up on stopping them from hanging from chandeliers and going out as vigilante children. .

And I need him to just suddenly having the thickest new jersey accent the other heroes have ever heard as he fusses over them when they do get hurt.

[moshuwu]

Gotham is in New Jersey, therefore I believe that Brucie Wayne should have a Jersey accent. In this essay-