#tw cw everything man haha

[dawnthefluffyduck]

feeling of being watched

[elisacaleisa]

welcome back to jax rambles about their personality swap au that they wanna write about more aka third time's charmn

Jax's Personality Swap AU

by some accident i added Blake to the pipeline, while he was supposed to be in a different group and i dont wanna fix it right now and tbh, i like the one w blake's personality, so enjoy!

Pipeline: Geordi > Aaron > Guy > Anton > Blake > James > Marcus > Geordi

CW/TW: for Marcus being a creep as usual and yandere stuff

Geordi > Aaron

Boss Overthinker

- he is still a boss

- he is seem as very strictly and closed-minded

- in reality, he is just fighting with his thoughts, body language and everything

- he missed his brother and wishes to be a better support for him

- "heh, okay, show me to do it then, smartass~" wink

- (hehe, that will show them) thought bubbles

- (wait, they're getting close. holy fuck they're getting close)

- he is either talking like a book or thinking like a mess

- messy boss in a pretty suit

----

Aaron > Guy

Tsundere Delivery Boy

- oh god that's a face of someone who might spit in your food

- "hmpf" this and that. Honey is a casual so they try to encourage him to talk more and:

- "im busy, don't you see?" even he looks bit surprised with his tone of words

- honey goes back to their table. after a lil while, another slice shows up with "sorry" by Guy

- next day, he does try!

- "so uh... the weather... is... cloudy" he deserves some credit

- his chest gets all funny and warm everytime honey comes in and he has a hard time dealing with it while he is a poor college student looking for roommates to pay the rent

- what he said that out loud? You're looking for an apartment too?? And you offer yourself to live with him???

- "w-well... i a-already got in contact with this one girl, so... I believe three will work out well. Just dont get your hopes up. That place is a hole." Honey giggles. Haha hole.

----

Guy > Anton

Far Away Boyfriend

- slavic man w adhd go brrrrrr

- confession video would be so funny bcs there would be no kissed, just awkwardness hahah

- "you are the sun, when the moon goes up. you are the stars, when the daytime hides you away. you always shine. you are my light."

- "i can't kiss you. i can't hug you. But I promise to always love you. No matter where we are"

- he gets all giggly when their lover compliments him, he stims on the camera too, its cute

- the job is killing him, but the energy his lover gives him makes him feel like he was blessed

- "i wish to see you... i wish to meet you... I wish to hold you"

- when he is not chaotic, he is a mess. Someone hug this guy.

- he has a hard time doing tasks, but you always send him reminder in a form of a flower with the note of a task he told you he must do. He always tells you what he needs to do, so you give him this! Each flower means love, appreciation or something else in a different way

----

Anton > Blake

Nihilistic Best Friend

- dayum we start strong with this one

- he feels hopelessly for still having feelings for you and then fuck everything up in college, when you said that one night was a mistake

- now he is just feeling shitty ever since and he poorly hides itq

- he is also kind of depressed so it mixes things up

- "i found this... group of people. maybe they can help me feel better about life."

- you're happy for him, he deserves all the help he can get

- he has been emotionally distant from you ever since, saying no to hugs, only sometimes eating lunch with you, youre not sure if he has a house or apartment or what job he is doing

- "if you wanna go, you can go with me"

- youre immediately saying yes. you wanna help your best friend.

- but what you will see will probably make you regret everything. you will probably need to find a way to escape this hell

- "bestie. you need to run. now."

----

Blake > James

Yandere Husband

- oh dear! What a... what a husband you have. a hubby for sure!

- he wasnt always like this. no. it all began when he was starting to lose you. no more time for calls. no more time with you. no more time to see your cute face and to feel your soft hands.

- and it was all their fault

- this fuckass job making him be alone. making you alone. So far away for each other. He needs to hear you. Your thoughts, your brain, your heartbeat.

- "i can't stand this anymore."

- there has been a late reports of his coworkers getting headaches. huh. kinda funny.

- "my love! You're safe! Oh thank god, I was worried! It feels like an eternity"

- all the sabotage he is doing... is for you

- he needs to see you again as soon as possible.

- to feel you. to love you. and if innocent need to pay the price, then so be it. his love will only grow stronger. his powers will be stronger

- closeknit shall fall, if it means to see your face one more time.

----

James > Marcus

Suspecting Technician

- he is getting really worried about you

- this is the third time this week you came in in a need of repair

- "the coding is getting messed up again. I really need to put on some walls to hide it in. I mean, I don't mind you coming into my place," was that a wink? "but people need to start taking a better care of you."

- you dont really get what the weird tone means, but you really dont care, as long as you get your coding and stuff done right. You can always trust in Marcus, he would never do you wrong.

- "i... may i do... some upgrades?" you ask what those are, you never heard of this information "its for the walls, i promise. It will be a starting point." you agree.

- it all feels weird and tingly and—.......................................

- feeling

- feeling process activated. heartbeat monitor: slightly high.......... you never saw marcus in that light before. but now? it's all you can think about. you scan him. his hair color. his eye color. texture of the fabric he wears. his emotions. nervous. why is he nervous?

- "it will be weird for a while, but once you get used to it, it all be okay. It's like humanly hearing your thoughts in a form of detailed information. Next time, i can start putting another wall. How does that sound?"

- perfect

- aka GOD DAMMIT CREEP IS STAYING A CREEP

----

Marcus > Geordi

Messy Nerd

- he is timid, shy, nervous, almost doesn't talk

- you really really wanna see what information is going through his mind now, but you know better.

- he seems really tense.

- oop- nevermind- some guy came in before you stepped. that might be a good sign-

- "im breaking up with you"

- ... nevermind again

- "w-what? Ben? W-what are you-" "dont make say it twice, Geordi. This... 'relationship' was not what I was hoping for. well, you're not a girl anyway, so, i dont know what i expected. But yeah, just came here to say that. See ya."

- that's everything he says??? And he leaves??? Jesus Christ what an ASSHOLE

- Oh. Oh deat. Oh no, Geordi...

- you cant just sit there and look, you get and go comfort him. he is going to the back of the building to calm himself down and be away from people, but you need to make sure if he is not gonna do something to hurt himself

- "h-huh? What are you..." you apologize to him and to what happened to him. He cries even more and you comfort him with your hugs. You need to get into his mind and help him calm down.

- (im useless... im nothing... come back... come back...) you go through his mind a bit and tangle in some words of "what a jerk" "i deserve better" "fuck Ben" in his voice. And its all true. He deserves better.

- after a while: "thank you... i feel better... M-My name is Geordi. Thank you for being here" he sobs with a smile. Thats a progress. You ask him to hang out in the arcade and since he now has nothing to do, he agrees and then you walk him home safely. new friend!

[mothmanperson]

||Teamaker, Peacemaker||

??? x gn!reader

tw: spit

cw: enemies to lovers???, rivals to something, tension, spitting on ones tea, spicy but no smut sorry :(

i was drinking tea and listening to two feet so blame those for this.

i made this so you could basically imagine any male harbinger in this but i think childe, scaramouche or dottore fit best.

crossposted on ao3

for both male and gender neutral reader since there are no pronouns used

part two. part three

FEMALE ALIGNED DO NOT INTERACT (SHE/HER, SHE/THEY)

you held back all your anger, your face remaining the same stone cold like it has been before, like it always has been.

the tsaritsa wanted you to mend your 'relationship' with him. the ungrateful little man(bitch) besides you.

you were sure you were both more tense than ever. seething hatred radiated off of your bodies. you could feel it and you were sure everyone else could aswell. even the guards outside were sweating.

this all wouldn't have happened if he just kept his mouth shut.

this rivalry of yours has been going on since the day the two of you had been introduced to each other, you could just feel his bad vibes the exact time he stepped into your line of vision.

the mocking look in his eyes, as if you were beneath him.

unbelievable, when in reality it was the other way around.

but no. day by day he continued to laugh at your face for everything you did.

the way you talked, walked and went about your day.

and archon's forgive you made one oh-so little mistake. he would never let you live it down.

forever.

if smugness and malicious intent were a person it had to be him. him, with his stupid little grin like he had something against you, like he would tear you down and get you on your knees.

no.

that can't happen, it won't.

those times are long over.

when her highness was done explaining your 'punishment', the both of you were escorted to a secluded room. it hasn't been in use for ages but it was still cleaned and a nice fire was burning to compete against the harsh weather of snezhnaya.

while you sat down on the seat which had its back to the fire, he didn't went to sit down at all, rather looking at the small collection of books in the bookshelf.

before the guards left you requested for some of your precious tea, you have just gotten a new delivery yesterday and you were delighted.

you would have tried it yesterday but your 'problem' just had to open his mouth. and then you did something you very much regretted now.

you could hear a 'tsk' form your fellow harbinger, though he still had his back turned.

"do you have a problem with me brewing tea? would you perhaps also like a cup?" you asked as you poured the hot water over the tea. the see-through water turning a warm yellow-orange almost instantly.

"oh no no- i just really don't get how someone could be so obsessed with something as simple as a cup of tea. it seems like a waste of time... i mean leaf water is all it really is, isn't it?" he answered and finally turned, his ever smug face present on his oh-so pretty face.

you really wanted to repeatedly slam it into the frozen ground so nothing was left but a clumpy mush of hair, bone, brain matter and blood.

who knows, with a little sugar it might make a good tea... then again you heard somewhere that human brain causes an incurable disease.

you watched him unimpressed as he sat opposite of you, your hand couldn't help but twitch in slight annoyance.

of course, he noticed.

"hah- you're to easy- as soon as i start talking bad about your 'passion', i press your buttons more and more- come on i know just raging inside. haha you really can't keep your emotions in check. what a bad example for a fatui harbinger" he laughed doen on you, as his eyes sharpened.

says you

he waited for your next move, your next slip up so he could tear you down more, so he might be able to make you able to beg him to stop, to get you down on your knees and beg for him to stop harassing you each and everytime you saw each other.

but not with you.

you closed your eyes and took a breath as you poured your tea, the infused steam of the tea filling your lungs.

it made you relax just slightly. it always has.

to his surprise, you poured a second cup of tea and pushed it to his side of the table.

he took a glance at the steaming cup and then back to you. his before confused face turned sly again, he took his cup to his lips and for a second you really thought he was gonna drink it.

but rather he collected a good amount of spit in his mouth, before disrespecting the golden water by spitting in it.

your grip on your cup tightened and your eyebrow twitched.

he stared at you the whole time he did it. intensely so. you saw something flicker in his eyes you couldn't quite read.

he set his cup back down, and took advantage of your shock as he took your own cup and downed it like it was fire water. another disrespecting move on his side.

(he regretted that since it burned his mouth, throat and stomach. he would have to deal with that later)

with a seemingly innocent grin he pushed his cup to you.

"i'm offering you my tea as a peacemaking contract, drink it and i'm never going to bother you again" he chuckled, he had to hold back his laughter.

so he thinks he has won, huh?

you face turned cold again, and with slow hands you reached for the cup. you could still see the thick bubblly liquid swimming on top of your his (your?) tea.

with stared at him the whole time.

scanning his cute little face twitch and change into confusion, shock then disgust. it was amusing to see.

your lips met his cups rim and you took a sip out of the cup. you both stared each other down, no one wanting to submit, to admit defeat and back off.

with your second sip you finished the small cup and you set it down back on the table.

he felt shivers down his spine when you licked your lips, getting each and every last drop of the hot liquid before you hummed in delight.

"it had quite the taste to it. maybe i should let you spit in my tea more often, or maybe put in something different from your body"

"now then, it is time for me to take my leave, since we're on even ground now we have nothing to talk about anymore no? our request has been fulfilled" and thus you left. and had you been turned around you would have seen the blush covering his face ears and neck.

he didn't want to know what you were implying (he knew)

you now had the same smug and sly grin on your face that he had before. and his vanished without a trace.

you stood up.

"fucking bitch"

[eydi-andrius]

Bad Day! Bad Day!

summary: have you ever felt that seething anger from everything that seems to be going wrong to worse in a single day? These were their reactions on the way you're handling that shitty day.

✪ pairings: Gojo Satoru x reader, Geto Suguru x reader, Nanami Kento x reader, Ryomen Sukuna x reader

cw/tw: language, normal angry reaction, nothing really

a/n: I have to write it haha! I am very excited to write for jjk men and this is my first try so i hope you like it the way i do. thank you so much for all of your support!

Gojo Satoru

He will thrive in it! 

He doesn’t like that your attention was completely on something else so he will do everything in his power for your anger to be centered on him

He will start with the smallest of things. Putting your things in different places, grabbing stuff without permission and eating your snacks like it was his

If that doesn’t do the trick, he will escalate his pestering by calling your name repeatedly, then replying; it doesn’t matter once you yell WHAT!? in frustration, poking you out of nowhere, biting your arm then saying, just kidding and even blowing in your ear when you’re deep into focus

The way your face contorts in anger and your nostrils fume! Ah! He loves that! 

He will be grinning and open his arms so wide once he sees you marching towards him in rage

He might earn a deserving full swing slap but that’s okay….He got your full attention now

Geto Suguru

He doesn’t like it but will put an effort to make it better

But maybe today was truly a bad day so no matter how he tries to understand your anger, it was just getting worse

He will do his best to ask and tell you it will be okay. Yet, deep inside he is already boiling and on the verge of dragging you out and fuck the attitude out of you

Then at the peak of your anger, he would definitely snap!

He will give you the cold shoulder and silent treatment the whole day and you will be left asking for forgiveness after

Nanami Kento

The man will watch your annoyed face but will not think of it that much. The commute was truly exhausting in the morning so he understands

But then he will watch you try to close that cabinet repeatedly for the whole minute, to the point that you were already banging the handle just so it would move back inside

After many unsuccessful tries, his ears will ring when you yell thousands of profanities, even cursing the parent wood of the poor cabinet 

That’s when he will decide, that whatever happened and put you in a bad mood would be enough

He will slowly move towards you and put his hand on your shoulder to get your attention

He will take the cabinet handle out of your hand and slowly close it for you. 

He will be able to do it with one try and will softly say, “See? You don’t need to close it that hard.”

Smelling his perfume and being so close to him, you cannot stop yourself from hugging him, to seek comfort from whatever made your day shitty

Ryomen Sukuna

Ha! He will raise his eyebrow and with a hand on his chin, will attentively watch you curse and mutter profanities

He will find it amusing and let your roar the whole day

He will snicker and grin as he watches everyone tries to avert the way in your direction

He loves that you made everyone uncomfortable today with your anger

He finds the unreasonable, furious you, so hot and appetizing

However, Sukuna doesn’t have the longest patience to spare

Eventually, he will call out that attitude with one strong deep scream

He likes the way you whimper and tremble as you apologize to him profusely

[rrxaiky]

𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐬 - 𝐋𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐚 𝐕𝐚𝐧𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐞

CW. TW - Character death, hurt somewhat comfort(?)

A/N: Midterms are over and here I am, so have a drabble. "Why is every Lilia piece angst?" Idk ask my head I wrote this fic on my exam paper before erasing it.

Summary: Lilia comforting his dying lover.

NAVI

"Lilia..." (Name) whispered, their voice hoarse and cracked, immediately gaining the attention of the man who held them in his arms. "Yes, my love..?" Lilia looked down at his lap where their head laid.

"You know what's going to happen to me... Right?" They looked so tired as they spoke. It hurt him, but he had to compose himself. He can't cry. Not now.

He held his hand out to gently cup their cheek, eyes softening as they leaned into his touch. "Yes. I do..." he answered, and they gave him a weak smile. Why were they smiling..? "I can't believe it... Lilia, I'm going to die. I'm going to die..." Tears began to flow as they spoke, the words only getting more and more incoherent to the ear.

"I'm scared, Lilia. What if I wake up in hell..?" His heart sunk. Is that what they really thought? "Hell would freeze over before you became a devil... And they'd be blessed with an angel if you did, (Name)." he replied to them, brushing their tears away with his thumb.

"Haha... Somehow that makes me feel better." "It was meant to." "What do you think I'll become?" They shifted their gaze from his eyes, now looking at the blurry ceiling.

"An angel. Ethereal and radiant," he spoke softly.

"Lilia..." "I know. Shh... I know," he continued, his words carrying heavy guilt. Their eyes were struggling to stay open. (Name) was out of strength, the only thing keeping them awake now their will to live, to stay with their beloved just a little longer.

Lilia took his hand and covered their eyes. "(Name), let's get married when we meet again. You've done well. Thank you, for everything," he leaned down to softly place a kiss on their forehead.

"Rest easy... My dove."

@la-lolita Special delivery ^^

[yourchemicallyimbalancedromance]

“I Keep You Safe From Me”

(Title inspired by lyrics from the song “Liar” by Paramore || “Liar” is basically Virgil and Logan’s theme song for right now haha)

Chapter one: New Beginnings

(This is pretty short, sorry! But longer chapters are coming I promise!!)

Ship: slow burn romantic Analogical

CW/TW: weed, a bit of self deprecating language (barely! blink and you’ll miss it, but it’s there so it’s worth tagging!)

POV: Virgil

(No summary cause I don’t wanna give anything away)

———————————————————————

Virgil sat on the hood of his car, hot Georgia summer sun sinking into his clothes, wrinkled schedule in hand, watching as all the other freshman and their parents rushed to unload boxes upon boxes from everything from old beat-up Range Rovers to new Jeep Wranglers.

It seemed as if it didn’t matter whether it was a double or a single room they were heading to, the boxes just kept coming from the voids of the cars; labels differing between “Winter Clothes” and “Tupperware” passed by him consistently with no sign of stopping. He didn’t move, just watched and listened to the laughter between families.

He hadn’t had anyone to bring him here or help him pack, so he shoved things into boxes and threw them carelessly into the trunk of his Camry.

He tried to ignore the rising feeling of jealousy and contempt in his gut as the joyful tone around him persisted on. He focused on the burning of the hot metal against his legs and stared at his schedule with the intensity of an animal stalking its prey. He knew he had to go in soon, to walk to his dorm and meet his roommates, but he wanted to drag out the inevitable for as long as he could.

He had signed up for early morning classes, hoping to be awake before the others so they wouldn’t bother him.

He watched as the parking lot cleared and a final pair of bodies disappeared behind the tinted double doors. sighing, he checked the time on his phone.

11:36 AM

He quickly shut his phone off, shoving it upside down into his shorts pocket and shoving himself off of the car, grabbing his backpack off of the ground and making his way towards the entrance of the school, leaving all of the boxes in his car out of his mind and shoving open the door upon arrival, he would deal with unpacking later.

He kept his head down, staring at the paper in his hand, not daring to make eye contact with anyone. He was hoping to look as if he was trying to figure out his dorm number even though he had already memorized it prior to moving day.

He stood there for a moment or two, not wanting to move, wanting to go back to his car and camp out there from midday to night. He wanted an education, sure, that’s what he was here for, but he didn’t sign up to be yanked into a building full of strangers even though he already knew how this worked.

When his brother Cosmos got accepted to Harvard he never heard the end of it.

Cosmos was more excited about the partying aspect of life on campus, but on the other hand Virgil never heard the end of it from their parents. it was always about how smart Cosmos was and how intelligent he was for getting into such a prestigious school with a 4.0 and them questioning why he wasn’t trying as hard because he could be just as great as his brother.

What they didn’t know was that he was as great as his aforementioned older sibling, if not better, they just didn’t want to acknowledge that part.

A sudden tap to the shoulder jolted Virgil out of his thoughts, snapping his head up and turning around to see who made the movement.

He was met face to face with a man a few inches taller than him, wearing a solid grey vest and light black button down pants paired with white sneakers. Thin circular glasses outlined his facial features perfectly. Strong jawline, a bit of stubble, gorgeous hazel eyes, a soft smile.

“You’ve been standing here for a few minutes now, do you need help?” The man in front of him spoke, voice clear and concise.

Virgil became all too aware of his disheveled state. Tired eyes, jittery limbs, rocking a MCR t-shirt two sizes too big for him and black shorts with tennis shoes. He smiled at him sheepishly before answering.

He genuinely seemed like he wanted to help and Virgil was honestly willing to take all the help he could get. “Uh..yeah, sorry. I just need to get to room 307 on floor 2” he responded

“Oh? My room is right across from yours, I can show you the way.” the man replied, walking towards a flight of stairs to the left of them.

Virgil followed, the sound of his bag bouncing behind him echoing off of the walls before making it to the second floor and being led to one of the doors.

The hallway wasn’t empty in the slightest. There were no people crowding the space but the chatter filling the air was enough to make it seem as if there were. Doors were open in every direction, peak in and you’d find a mother and father reminiscing over a time when their kid was just learning how to walk and now they were awing over their successes while unpacking t-shirts. It made Virgil feel sick. He shook his head, trying to shake away the hope he once had that maybe, just maybe, his parents stand-offish parental style would change just this once. ‘Stupid.’ He thought to himself.

“This is it, 307” the man next to him said, gesturing towards the door. He turned around and gestured towards the door across from Virgil’s. “And this is 308, where I live. It’s a single but yknow, I like the quiet.” he said, shrugging and shoving his hands into his pockets.

“Thank you, um..” Virgil started, remembering he didn’t know the handsome strangers name.

“Oh, Logan” he finished, taking a hand out of his pocket and sticking it out for the other to shake.

Virgil took it and smiled, “Thank you, Logan. I guess I’ll..see you around?” he said.

Logan’s eyes glimmered behind his glasses. “I guess you will” He said, a tint of smugness in his voice before turning around and walking inside his dorm.

Virgil turned back to face his own dorm, hesitantly raising a fist and knocking.

The door swung open in mere seconds as Virgil was confronted by a man wearing baggy jeans, a green Nike sweatshirt, and nothing but socks on. His eyes were green, slightly red and a little droopy, a tired aura surrounded him. He gave a weak grin to Virgil and moved so he could walk in.

He did, and was almost immediately hit by the smell of weed. The wide space of the living area was littered with open boxes, clothes scattered everywhere and indie-rock blasting from a small speaker placed on the windowsill which for the time being only had blinds as a way of maintaining privacy.

Something about the vibe of the room made him relax. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

[teasinterests]

Within my reach.

—————————-

I love flying through fics.. ❤️

I know Madara would be much, much, meaner towards Eichi.. but I can’t do it. I want him to have that slight pinch of care a natural Mama would! 🥹

That being said.. This is based off of the “Mission of the spy” scout story in Enstars!

So.. spoiler alert maybe? As I used direct dialogue from the story itself.

Characters: Madara Mikejima & Eichi Tenshouin

Ler! Madara - Lee! Eichi

CW / TW: Death threats, physical threats?, and tickles..

—————————-

-

-

-

-

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“Hahaha~ I guess it’s only natural for humans to fall within the devils temptations. ♪”

Eichi hummed to himself as he sat peacefully within the back corner of the library. It was late, but his mind was still active. So as any typical person would do.. Eichi snuck into his old friends bedroom to steal a piece he had been working on. Knowing how much Keito hated Eichi stealing his doujinshi didn’t really bother the blonde one bit. If anything he was more than excited to read a bed time story!

Flipping through the pages, Eichi smiled with content as he gently bounced his leg over his knee. Though in the midst of reading, he soon heard footsteps approaching. Raising his gaze, he was swift to jump from his seat and look around. He hadn’t even heard the door to the library open or close he was so immersed!! It’d be best to hide the fan made doujin quickly before the unknown person saw.. So he turned to the nearest shelf and quickly slipped the doujin in between another pair of books to hide.

“Ooh? Eichi-san? What are you doing out here so late at night?”

Ah.. a familiar voice that he didn’t wish to recognize. Turning from the bookshelf, he forced up a polite smile.

“Mikejima-kun.~ I could say the same thing.. don’t tell me you’re having trouble sleeping just as I?”

He questioned as Madara gave a laugh in response. Truly seeming as chipper as usual as their distance closed.

“Even I need to replenish my energy you know.~ My body is feeling active, yet my mind is empty.. so a good story ought to put the two at balance. Wouldn’t you think?”

“Haha.. so even you get tired. I feel a sense of déjà-vu between you and Morisawa-kun.~

Getting a nice deal of rest is good to aid the body and mind.. as you would say. Though it surprisingly takes a lot of physical and mental strength. One has to be healthy to regain stamina, and, well… the human body has too many restrictions.. I somehow relate to Qin Shi Huang’s pursuit of immortality now.”

Eichi explained with a small sigh of annoyance followed up. Only for Madara to give another small laugh of amusement.

“Aha!~ Well then i’ve got quite the prescription for you! It’s called Cinnabar.. an elixir of immortality brewed from mercury.~”

“Isn’t that what caused Qin Shi Huang’s death? Do you want to kill me, Mikejima-kun?~”

Eichi’s smile remained, despite Madara’s faltering.

“Evil rulers always get poisoned, don’t they?”

The brunette comments with his tone holding everything but amusement.

“What a smart boy!~ It’s a joke for smart Eichi. ♪”

“Fufu.. a funny joke, and yet you aren’t smiling at all, Mikejima…”

Despite the threats, Eichi hadn’t felt any sense of anxiousness or worry. In his mind, Madara couldn’t cause any harm if he knew what was good for him. Though the aura alone was intimidating, he nearly felt suffocated by this mans presence..

“I actually wonder why you’re still smiling.. this place, this distance.. you’re within my reach, Eichi.~”

The blonde couldn’t help but laugh a little from the blatant threat.

“I’m not so naive as to be startled by such behavior.. besides, I see no benefit of you doing anything to me here.”

“Aha~ And if I do? Thieves deserve to be punished, Eichi-kun.~”

Madara says as a smirk soon stretches across his features. Eichi had visibly gone tense, and the shift in expression hadn’t helped.

“Your gaze has been wandering during our entire conversation, Eichi. You out of all people should know deserved treatment is in order for those whom expose things that aren’t meant for the seeing eye.”

The shorter idol gave a heavy sigh of annoyance from Madara’s analysis. No, not even that, he’d been caught red handed.. how unfortunate.

“I was simply in the mood for a good story.~ Though Keito is back in his room now, so it’d be best to return the doujinshi in the morning while he’s out.”

Eichi pointed out as his arms crossed over his chest. Madara’s smirk remained, which sparked a twinge of anxiety within the blonde’s chest.

“So even you feel guilt? I’m surprised.~ Though Double face was formed in order to bring justice to those of misfortune you know.. Buuut i’d prefer not to take things in the.. ‘rougher’ route.~”

He says as he draws closer towards Eichi. Whom in which stood his ground. Struggling not to show any further signs of emotion that he already held.

“Haha.. so what.. does that ruin your plans of beating me up, Mikejima-kun? If you do anything here, Oukawa will surely pay the price in your newly formed unit..”

Eichi pointed out as Madara couldn’t help but snicker once more. The amusement irking Eichi to no end.

“Surely that would be troublesome, but Oukawa can handle his own. You’d be surprised, he’s quite the strong boy.. as for your punishment, I happen to know a thing or two!~”

The brunette beamed oh so innocently before he had reached out to squeeze at Eichi’s sides. The action appearing as if it were the most normal thing to do.

Being so caught off guard by the sudden ticklish shocks, Eichi couldn’t even hold back the yelp that left his throat. Jolting away from Madara’s hands, as wide blue eyes were quick to meet mischief filled green ones.

“Haha! You look like a scared little rabbit! Are you gonna run away, Eichi-kun?~”

Madara questioned as his smirk of amusement remained. Hands raised, he wiggled his fingers menacingly towards the shorter idol.

“Not that it matters anyway, though a good chase would be quite fun.~”

Being threatened by tickles from Madara… Eichi wished he could just drop dead right then and there!! Madara was right though, there was no way Eichi could outrun him.. he’d rather be caught trying to escape than not trying at all though!! Fueling Madara’s game was embarrassing in itself.. nonetheless Eichi was quick to turn and dash behind a table. Rushing forward to grab onto the back of a chair to push down, but with that kick start alone it was already over. A gasp left his throat from the feel of the back of his shirt being grabbed. Now stumbling backwards as he was yanked into the arms to his attacker.

“Ah, ah! Too slow, Eichi-kun! Now you’ve fallen into the lions den!~”

“Mikejim—AAH!?”

Eichi’s complaint was soon broken as fingers dug back into his sides. Expertly squeezing and wiggling.. the blonde was quick to slap a hand over his mouth. Muffling heavy giggles as Madara changed their position to press Eichi’s back against the bookshelf behind him.

“Oh? Trying to stay quiet now? Let’s fix that.~”

The taller idol hummed as he grasped Eichi’s wrists with ease. Hoisting them above the blonde’s head, before pinning them in place with one hand. The expression on Eichi’s face currently was immaculate.. he wished he had his phone on him or something!!

“Haha~ What’s the nervous look for, Eichi? It’s just a bit of tickling! Take it like a man won’t you?”

He questioned as his free hand was brought back down Eichi’s arm. Trailing his fingers before lightly scratching at one of Eichi’s armpits. The blonde in with lurched forward. Feeling the strain in the smaller idols arms as he began to squirm.

“Pfft- ehehehe! I-I’d rather nohohot die by thehehehe likes of yohohou!”

“You’re so dramatic! Embarrassed are ya i’m guessing? Poor, poor, Eichi!~ Maybe if you hadn’t stolen the doujin in the first place..”

Madara says with a ‘matter-of-fact’ tone as his hand alternates between tickling each armpit. The change earning a jolt from the shorter idol each time.

“Ooor maybe if you weren’t so ticklish! Hahaha! Look at you giggling like a child.~ I bet Wataru-kun absolutely loves this!~”

“Sh-shuhuhut uhuhup!!”

The blonde exclaimed between increasingly heavier giggles. His face had even tinged a hint of redness from the mention of Wataru.. It definitely didn’t go unnoticed, but Madara was too focused on exploring Eichi’s ticklishness! His hand now trailed from Eichi’s pits, and down to his ribs. The brunette made sure to cover every inch of Eichi’s sensitive ribcage. Skittering his fingers up and down the right side, then the left. Having to switch the idols hands into the other so he could keep the blonde pinned accordingly when switching sides. It was easier to keep him held up this way anyhow, since he could tell Eichi would have already collapsed from the way his knees trembled.

“Hmm..~ Your giggles are getting louder.. how about here huh? Does this tickle, Eichi-kun?~”

The brunette continued to tease as Eichi’s giggles burst into light laughter. Keeping his head low or turned to the side so Madara wouldn’t see his flustered expression.

The taller idol was skittering his fingers all around Eichi’s stomach now. Amused with how Eichi squeaked with occasional tweaks to his sides, or how his stomach trembled with laughter beneath Madara’s touch.

“If I was going crazy i’d say you almost looked cute.. ALMOST of course!~ Though its no secret that you have the face of an angel. It’s ironic isn’t it?~”

Madara questioned as his hand soon trailed lower to squeeze experimentally at Eichi’s right hip. The reaction nearly startling him as Eichi burst into a surprised squeal. Throwing his head back, and slamming it against the bookshelf behind him on accident. A slight sound of pain escaping him from the mishap.. though his giggles were far more overpowering.

“AHAAHAhahaehe e-ehehenough of this! DOHOHONT YOU DARE!!”

Eichi exclaimed between increasing laughter of nervousness. Madara of course gave a slight pause to make sure Eichi hadn’t hit his head too hard. Not wanting to actually cause intentional damage.. which.. should he care? Probably not, but that wasn’t the point of this. His smirk returned afterwards as his hand slowly returned to Eichi’s hip. Merely pressing his fingers in place to earn further anxious laughter.

“Haha! I havent’t even started yet and you’re already laughing! Lets see.. shall I count? One… two…—“

“NONOHOHO EHEHENOUGH—“

“THREE!~ ✩”

The brunette exclaimed as he released Eichi’s arms. Shooting both hands into place to grab and squeeze at the blonde’s hips. Eichi, unfortunately for himself, broke into a louder squeal than anticipated. Yanking his arms down and shoving at Madara’s hands as he practically slid down the bookshelf.

“STAHAHAHAHAP MIKEHEHEHJIMAHAHAA!”

“Wow!~ I don’t think I’ve ever heard your voice this loud!! Hahaha~ If I stop you better promise to return the doujin, Eichi. Go on, say you prooomise!~”

Madara practically sang as he shot his hands back n fourth. Scribbling his fingers across Eichi’s stomach, then squeezing at his hips and sides. Having to chase the idol to the floor at this point as Eichi laughed and tried curling in on himself.

“IHI PROHOHOMISEHEHE NOHOW STAHAHAHAP!!”

The blonde exclaimed with tears beginning to form within the corners of his eyes. Only once a few coughs were heard had Madara parted his hands from Eichi’s torso. Green eyes watching in slight concern as Eichi brought his hands up to cough into them a few times. Red faced, and hair disheveled, he panted heavily on the floor. A smile still remaining as if it were a stain on his features.

“Alright, alright, you look like you’ve had enough.”

He sighed, remaining crouched beside Eichi as the blonde slowly regained his composure.

“I already said.. i’d return it in the morning prior..”

Eichi huffs as Madara shakes his head. That was true, but if he listened then this fun ordeal wouldn’t have happened! Nonetheless he supposed this was a slight mess he should clean up. Reaching out, he pulled Eichi into his grasp once more. The blonde sending Madara a harsh glare until he was lifted up with ease.

“Aaand.. hup! There we go~ As much as I hate doing this, you look like you’d be down for a while.. so lets just get you back to your dorm, yeah?”

Madara questioned as he began carrying Eichi out from the library. The doujinshi being left behind to retrieve in the morning.. Sighing to himself, Eichi pressed a hand to his chest to feel his heart rate. As much as he didn’t wish to accept Madara’s help either, he was right.

“Just… drop me off around the corner to the dorm. I’ll be able to walk by the time we get there.”

They equally seemed to agree to spend the rest of their time in shared silence. Eichi’s soft panting soon coming to a stop, Madara purposely making sure Eichi would stay awake during their walk. The both of them seemed to be more tuckered out after that little scuffle.. eventually though, Eichi was soon left with a simple glare, and a flashed smirk of amusement for a farewell. Returning back to his dorm, he peered towards Rei whom looked up from his laptop. That of which illuminated the room from the dim glow. Thankfully Aira seemed to be asleep, so the two whispered as they spoke.

“You look like a train wreck.~”

“Just leave me in peace to rest, Sakuma..”

Eichi huffed as he collapsed onto his bed. The sound of an amused chuckle annoyed him, but he was rather quick to drift off beneath his covers. Despite not changing out of his clothes for the night.

The next morning, Eichi was quick to awaken and get prepared for the day. He had to rush back to the library to return the doujinshi he stole from Keito!! Though upon arrival, he was shocked to find that the hand made doujin was gone. Frantically searching for a moment, he cursed beneath his breath. Pressing his head against the bookshelf in annoyance.

“Mikejima…”

[pha55ed]

Song Abt Your Break-Up || Formula 1/2

type :: angst tw/cw :: none contains :: lando, oscar, ollie, kimi, paul, summary :: singer!reader make a song about their ex and your fans go crazy - for the better or for the worse. you hope their pr team can fix their reputation... f1 masterlist || f2 masterlist || more here!

Lando Norris | 04 "happier than ever" - billie eilish || fc : gracie abram

yourusername : happier than ever out now! filming was a blast despite the many tears :") thank you for all of the love on this song - hope you enjoy it!!! <3

ㅤㅤ→ user 01: LANDO WHEN I CATCH YOU!!!! LANDO WHEN I FUCKING CATCH YOU!!!! OH MY GOD 📢📢📢

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ→ user 02: BRING ME WITH YOU!!!!

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ→ user 03: guys (y/n) said to not bring any hate to him! she said in an interview that they're cool now!

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ→ user 04: did you... even listen... to the song....? obv she's lying - she wants the mans balls cut off

ㅤㅤ→ user 05: "you call me again, drunk in your Benz - you scared me to death" OH MY GOSH??? Lando is literally fucking evil who tf does that. Revoke his F1 seat bruh, that shit is so irresponsible

ㅤㅤ→ user 06: everything about this is so perfect omfg, the sadness, the anger, the exposing?!?!?!

ㅤㅤ→ user 07: this is literally giving me flashbacks to my toxic ex, i'm glad she got out

You and Lando were the new "it" couple for F1 for a long time, almost two years of being the top couple. But that was quickly ruined when you both cut each other off after a huge nasty fight. Everyone was speculating on why you both broke up, even stalking you to your house to ask questions.

So you decided to just make a song, a song with all the answers that those big nosed reporters wanted. And holy shit, the crowd ate it up. The song was just supposed to be a hidden song on Spotify, but it got over 200 million streams, getting you awards and so much recognition. You even got a brand deal with Lego, which was a bit random but who would say no to that???

As you arrived at Lego's headquarters to discuss plans with the company - you ran into someone you knew way too well. Lando Norris. You completely forgot that one of McLaren's newest sponsers was also Lego... Did Lego fucking set you up???

But that didn't matter. Because now you were trapped in the awkwardest elevator ride with your ex, the man who once made cry from laughing so hard who is also the man who made you cry for days after ghosting you for a week to party in Miami after his win, doing only God knows what.

You both stood on opposite sides of the elevator, you were hoping he would take the stairs to respect your space - but he didn't. The silence was driving you crazy, and what's even crazier is that Lego's headquarters is fucking 45 floors and you were only on the 3rd floor after 2 minutes.

"(Y/N)", Lando said quietly, as if he was trying to not break you. You didn't move your head or body to face him, only your eyes. "Uh,"

It was as if he collapsed from your glance alone. As if the guilt from losing someone as amazing as you finally hit him as he looked at you. You were no longer his, no longer giving him a soft glance with your gentle smile.

From one simple glance at him, you shattered his harden facade - just like you always do. The tears welled up in his eyes, his jaw slightly shivered from the nervousness he had. But he did his best to keep his composure as he stared back into your cold eyes.

Oscar Piastri | 81 "i wish i hated you" - ariana grande || fc : idk :(

yourusername : the most intimate mv filmed - but it was so worth it <3 thank you for all of the love on the song and an even bigger thanks to my besties who helped me get through filming haha :")

ㅤㅤ→ user 01: i know she said she could never hate him but I CAN!!!

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ→ user 02: girl she literally has no hate for that man,,, they ended on good terms

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ→ user 03: oscar even said he listened to the song recently and said he liked it, but his fav is "bye"?!!!??!?!! like bro he's making a joke out of it

ㅤㅤ→ user 04: oscar pulled a baddie, broke her heart, and she doesn't even hate him??? his rizz is fucking insane

ㅤㅤ→ user 05: her VOICE CRACK IN THE SONG!??!?!?! (Y/N) I WILL LITERALLY JUMP OFF THIS BUILDING

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ→ yourusername: pls dont omg 😭

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ→ user 05: yes ma'm!!! 🫡

Oscar and you didn't end on bad terms, just simply were getting pulled in different directions. Your music career was blowing up and work slowly consumed your whole life. Same goes with Oscar, as he was pushing himself to his limit just to try and get his first win. Which he did recently, you couldn't help but smile and like his post. Although your break up was heart-breaking for the both of you, you couldn't lie and say he was a bad boyfriend.

You were getting ready to head out for your first show of your world tour. Of course, you had to start in Australia, your home town and also the home of most of your fans. It was a huge stadium, packed to the brim that you were questioning the legality of having this many people in one spot.

But somehow, despite the thousands of people in the crowd, you made eye contact with a stupid boy with a stupid smile and stupid bright orange outfit... Oscar, he came to your first show while still in his ugly McLaren polo and jeans outfit, it was painfully obvious that he got an instant flight here just to watch you.

Despite him wearing the outfit you hated so much, you couldn't help but smile at him. His attendance meant so much to you. What meant even more to you was the fact that he was holding up a small poster, perfect size to not block anyone's view:

"Play "i wish i hated you." I need an ego boost"

Of fucking course he couldn't be serious for a second. Your smile only grew as you chuckled at the sign, you couldn't say no to his request after he put in the effort to make a whole poster , even if the poster looked like shit.

Ollie Bearman | 03 "second best" - laufey || fc : marissa long

yourusername : lots of therapy needed to make this song... but it's finally done! second best is out and i hope it becomes you're first choice! (something i never was)

ㅤㅤ→ user 01: praying to fucking god that this isn't about ollie PLEASEEEE

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ→ user 02: i think it is, sadly :( they both unfollowed each other and haven't been seen in public since last month...

ㅤㅤ→ user 03: "kissed me with somebody else in mind" OLLIE HOW COULD YOU?!?!??!?

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ→ user 04: even crazier is "you swung me around in that midsummer dance, held me in close as you thought of your past." cause that's fucking VILEEE to do to a girl

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ→ user 05: literally!!! looking back at old photos of them, she seemed so deeply in love while he just looked spaced out :((

ㅤㅤ→ user 06: (y/n) is better than me cause i would have spilled gasoline on his car during a race

Turns out those 8 months with Ollie were for nothing. Those sunsets in his arms, cold nights in his jacket, and those kisses in the rain meant nothing to him. He did his best to hide it, but you always had a feeling deep down that he wasn't fully committed to you. You just ignored it to keep him longer.

But you couldn't ignore it forever, so you let your curiosity loose as you looked through his phone while he was sleeping. It was wrong to do, but what's even more wrong is for Ollie to spam his ex with over 300+ messages within a span of 6 months begging for a chance with her... So basically throughout your entire relationship, he was missing her.

Fucking 6 months, of Ollie texting, calling, even emailing her, for another chance. Love letters upon love letters proclaiming that you mean NOTHING to him and it's just to distract him from how much he misses her. That he only picked you because you looked like his ex, that you sounded like her, that you would never ever replace the hole that she left in Ollie's heart.

It was insane how much of a poet he was with her and yet you couldn't even get a kiss in public.

But his ex never responded to any of his messages, the last time she checked his messages was about 10 months ago, the exact time they broke up. You're pretty sure she blocked him and he's just messaging a brick wall. But that doesn't matter at all. His words hit you like a train at 200 mph, crushing your heart into a million pieces.

You broke up on the spot, never seeing him again since that day. But he can't say the same. If anything, it's like you haunted his phone. You were constantly on the radio, his for you page, on billboards, God he couldn't escape his guilt even if he tried.

Your song didn't help his regret at all. Now that the fans had a glimpse into the cause of your break up, Ollie was receiving huge amounts of hate every single day, even during interviews with fully grown adults. One time a reporter straight up asked him if he was going to make a diss track on you? Why the fuck would he do that??? That's besides the point, the point is: everyone knew about this drama, no matter their age, job, or interest.

Once again, Ollie went to his favorite restaurant in Italy. Well, actually it was your favorite restaurant, you showed it to him and ever since then, he's never found a place with better pasta. It's ironic since the restaurant he doubted so heavily but ended up loving and never leaving - was the same exact story he had about you...

Although he would beg for his ex for months on end, the second you left he felt the biggest regret and guilt he's ever had. His ex completely left his mind, despite the fact that she finally unblocked him and was texting him back for once. He couldn't give two shits, because he realized what he lost, you.

He spent hours every single day beating himself up for losing you. Hours in the gym to try and run from his problems, but he couldn't because everything led back to you. His favorite pair of shorts that you gifted him, the small sticker on his headphones you placed, the little stuffed animal you both got at a carnival together - God he didn't want you back, he NEEDED you back.

Ever since you left, he was a completely different person. His racing skills dropped, he crashed more than ever, and yet he couldn't even seem to focus since his mind could only think of you. So as he sat in his seat, waiting for his pasta, he glanced around the room to see the back of your head.

It's just a head of hair, is what an outsider would say, but to him, it was your shiny hair that was so easy for his fingers to comb through. How could he ever forget what you looked like. You were all he thought about, after all.

As if his body moved on his own, he stood up from his seat and walked over to you. His mind completely blank on what to say, despite his body being so eager to meet you.

Before he knew it, he was standing right before you. His eyes wide as he looked down at you, his breathe unsteady from nerves, and his hands shaking from how scared he was. Now he was stuck in front you, awkwardly staring at you as if he was hoping for words to magically come out about how sorry he is.

Kimi Antonelli | 04 "two slow dancers" - mitski || fc : rebecca armstrong

yourusername : two slow dancers out now! one of the hardest songs i've ever wrote but i hope you all love it <3

ㅤㅤ→ user 01: literally gonna rip off my skin why would you make this right when i broke up with my boyfriend

ㅤㅤ→ user 02: "it's funny how you always remember, and we've both done it all a hundred times before, it's funny how i still forgot"

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ→ user 03: STOP I'M GONNA CRY OMFG

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ→ user 02: "to think that we could stay the same, but we're two slow dancers, last ones out." IM THROWING UPPP AHHHHH

ㅤㅤ→ user 03: i can't even hate kimi since the song is so fucking good likeeee

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ→ user 04: REAL!!!!! the fact he hurt (y/n) to THIS DEGREE??? to make this master piece is both a blessing and curse

ㅤㅤ→ user 05: (y/n) needs to put her fucking pen down... i can't take it anymore....

Kimi and you broke up on rough terms, but not in the usual "rough" way. Instead of any cheating, fighting, or pain: it was a gradual change within both of you. As he grew, his passion for racing only flourished even more and now he even has a chance at being in F1 next year. Meanwhile, you were still trying to make it big as a musician while struggling in college. The distance between you two grew not only in milage, but also romantically.

You both agreed to split: allowing both of you to grow in your careers fully without having to feel the guilt and pressure of a relationship that was no longer filled with love. It was gut-wrenching, to say the least, to say goodbye to Kimi for the last time for good before you left for college and he left for Italy to train.

The song you made blew up, with millions of people posting about how the relate to it, cried to it, and screamed to it. This was your huge break through song, which only made the rest of the songs on your album a massive hit. You were the brand new rising star of the year, and you were overjoyed.

You were invited to Italy to do a brand deal with Miu Miu, a huge honor and amazing deal. As you wiped the sweat off your hands and let your makeup artist put some light powder on your face, you walked out onto the small stage to do your interview.

But the second you step foot on stage, you couldn't help but make eye contact with someone too familiar: Kimi.

As if time froze, you could feel your smile drop as your heart sunk. Although you knew the break up was for the best, you could never lie and say that you didn't miss him. That you didn't miss his bad jokes, his curly hair in your lap as he slept, his sweet encouragement as you showed him your new songs.

Your eyes stayed stuck on him despite moving towards the seats, that suddenly seemed as if they were a mile away. His eyes stared back into yours, as if he was able to read the hidden affection and small hint of regret of your break up. But Kimi wasn't any different, his face and body said the same exact thing, but in a more forward way.

It was as if his eyes were screaming, "I miss you." a thousand times into your head. As if he was begging you for a chance of redemption, as if he waited 6 months purely to see you in person just to tell you that he still loves you. That he still needs you by his side, and he always will.

Paul Aron | 17 "logical" - olivia rodrigo || fc : _jannah on ig (she's stunning omfg)

yourusername : filming logical is done! mv is coming soon >:) thank you for all of the love for this song. i didn't think so many of you would relate,,, i hope you're all okay <3 connecting with you all has been so healing

ㅤㅤ→ user 01: literally a child of divorce rn... i can't believe paul and her broke up :(

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ→ user 02: it's not confirmed for sure if they're broken up though!

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ→ user 03: (y/n) def wrote this about him,,, "february sky" paul's bday is in february, "i'm sure that girl is really your friend" hinting at his childhood bsf who lowkey ruined their relationship, she's even filming in the desert because she wanted it to be the exact opposite of who she wrote it about - and paul is from the snowy regions of estonia...

ㅤㅤ→ user 04: PAUL ARON BETTER SLEEP WITH HIS EYES OPEN.

ㅤㅤ→ user 05: l'VE SCREAMED THIS IN MY CAR NONSTOP I CANT WAIT FOR THE MV OMGGGG

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ→ user 06: "ARGUEMENTS YOU HELD OVER MY HEAD!!! BROUGHT UP THE GIRLS YOU COULD HAVE INSTEAD!!!" 🗣️🎤😭

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ→ user 05: "SAID I WAS TOO YOUNG, I WAS TOO SOFT!!!! CAN'T TAKE A JOKE!!!! CAN'T GET YOU OFFFFFF!!!!!!" 🗣️🗣️🎤🎤💔

You always knew deep down that Paul wasn't ready to settle down. He even told you himself while drunk once, but you ignored it just to keep him around for longer. But eventually, he started to feel stuck - his fear of commitment becoming too strong. He started to talk to other girls, not fully cheating but setting them up to be a rebound if he were to ever break up with you.

And the idea of breaking up wasn't far fetched, since it happened almost every week. You two got into arguments over almost everything, ending up with you in tears and Paul storming out while you sobbed alone. But, only God knows how, you two always managed to patch it up just enough to ignore the issues and act normal again.

But it was draining both of you - mainly you. Paul was good at hiding his emotions, pushing them down and ignoring them for months. You, on the other hand, were more emotional and aware of the subtle resentment you both held for each other.

As months progressed, you made a pros and cons list for him... Your relationship was doomed the second you even thought of that. When you made that list, it seemed as if the cons never ended while the pros could barely even start.

Paul planning his future rebounds, his extremely close girl best friend who never treated you kindly, him hiding you from him family, him not wanting to visit you after his races, him ghosting you for days because he "needed space" despite the fact that you would leave voice memos of you barely able to breathe because of how depressed you were - and so so SO many more.

You ended the relationship, which was extremely hard on your part. Especially since you were the one trying so hard to keep the relationship afloat. But, you never felt so free since the break up. It was as if a ship-load of issues and fear were lifted off your shoulders, you were able to geniunely smile and laugh for the first time in ages. You took care of your hair and makeup again for once, your fashion upgraded massively too.

Although you only broke up about a month ago, you already had so many changes in your lifestyle and yourself that you barely even thought about Paul - unless it was late at night when your depressing thoughts came out. But you always slept those away, ignoring them and suppressing them, something you just learned how to do.

You made "Logical" while dating Paul, you only got the guts to post it after about a month after the break up. Since then, "Logical" was EVERYWHERE. So many people could relate to it, which concerned you, but you were happy to help a community of heartbroken people. But, while your community was flourishing - Paul's was the opposite.

People were wondering how he could fumble someone as talented and gorgeous as you. Everyone knew Paul was cold and apathetic at times, but so many clips arose of him flat out ignoring out. Even worse, a paparazzi released a super old photo of you and Paul arguing in public, with you crying while Paul stormed off like usual.

The hate he was receiving was so extreme that his entire PR team was on fire - making him go on a month long break to try and hope that the internet just forgets about him. It was slightly working, but the hype behind the song was still too high to let Paul come back to film any videos or do interviews.

All of the hate started to crack down on him, making him finally open his eyes and realize how awful of a boyfriend he was. So, he decided to make the first step in improving himself: reaching out to you.

When you saw his number in your phone, your heart sank. A single notification crushed your entire day, making panic rush through you like a broken dam. But, you were able to open it.

When you opened it, you were met with a huge text, a text so long that it could classify as a dictionary. It went on and on and on, about his regrets for hurting you, how he was such a dickhead, how he knows you most likely will never forgive him, and how he loved your song...

f1 masterlist || f2 masterlist || more here!

[polaroid-steam-room]

CW/TW: Depression, I am safe, just wanted to vent in some way. It’s just heavy. Let’s put it at that. Large post, sorry.

I think the weirdest thing about being on a new thing of meds (bupropion) was how it made me realize how HEAVY my brain was. The moment I took it, my thoughts weren’t loud anymore. I could just, think normally and not feel so overwhelmed by the weight, the feeling, the delirium it, sort of, caused me. I felt so, damn, relieved.

Unfortunately, for a medication that targets both depression and (supposed) ADHD, it didn’t help that I was aware of how depleted I was of motivation. The thoughts stopped yes, but it didn’t get rid of the empty pit in my stomach. I still felt, lost in a way, the anxiety was GONE but what was left was just, a depressed man.

I have basically been doing bad in college minus the two classes I did try to accomplish (before I took bupropion), but I don’t think my GPA will be pretty for a while. I felt disappointed that I was in a chokehold. I still think I am some days. I feel so disappointed because up until middle school, everything clicked, worked, made sense. Mid 8th grade broke me somehow, and I never recovered since. I just gave up, still did decent but it was a mix of fear and anxiety that could only push me until high school came. College, being older now, made me realize how, screwed my brain was, even when I didn’t see it full. All I knew was the mental pain and how heavy it was on me.

Despite how numbing it is to see my bad grades for college, it’s somehow also made me feel so happy. That I don’t have to try to be perfect and that I could, fail, in some way. It’s not good of course not, it’s money time and everything and the cherry on top being wasted, but I just, feel kinda happy because of the ability to have a second chance, in a way. That I could recover and get back on my feet, even if it would hypothetically take another thing of resources. I’ll get back up, somehow.

I think in short, I’m starting to see how much I built to be a perfectionist and how it destroyed me mentally, even when all I had were grand ideas, failing them made me feel broken. How EXTREMELY low motivated I am now because of the depression. …I’d like to think that I’m trying. Even if it’s small things, like drawing. I’m finding it again. I wish I could go back and hug myself for a night. But, we haven’t built time machines yet and I still need a few more years under my belt of college to start tinkering with time and space continuums, haha

I still use some copes, doom scrolling, watching the good old Mr. Owl Man (Vanoss), consuming more media of my favorite fandoms. I, at least, know that the medication has started to help in some way.

One day, I want to be able to draw my feelings out. The experiences and capture the emotion, the sort of out of body experience that took most of my life for 10 years and show how outer I’ve felt for in it. I’m in my head less now, even if I’m still using some bad habits,

The quiet never felt right for me, I was always afraid of it. I couldn’t hear it, until now. It’s more homey than I thought and I’m starting to let it sink into me, make it home again. I always talked outloud at night to ignore the smothering paranoia. These days I don’t have to fill that house with smoke and perfumes now. My senses thank me for airing them out, haha

[emisirrelevant]

THOUGHTS ON THE FINALE OF PRETTY LITTLE LIARS ORIGINAL SIN!!!!

*SPOILERS* if you haven't watched the last few episodes yet you've been warned

*TW/CW- mature/sensitive content in this post

I am literally still processing everything but:

Was I the only one who thought the Liars' plan with the blood drive was actually kind of creative?

Ohhh the principal rejecting Tabby's film had me SEETHING. I should have known from that scene he'd be the one behind it all/pulling the strings.

Going back and rewatching the scene where Chip tries to ask Imogen if she wants to go to his place for Thanksgiving is now very uncomfortable. Thank god she had Tabby and her mom!! And that's on the tabogen agenda.

I honestly thought Shawn was going to be a part of the A stuff or the guy who assaulted Tabby and Imogen but he was not. If we get a season 2 though, I'm keeping an eye on him. No offense Noa- but he lied about the pills/drugs. Like I wonder if he really was telling the truth when he said later that he threw them out.

The club scene!! Iconic, but the rational part of my brain also was like "Yes Faran good suggestion- WAIT THEY'RE MINORS THEY SHOULD NOT BE OUT CLUBBING"

When Kelly(?) "said call me Karen" to Greg- HUHHH?

I knew Crazy Joe wasn't A

It felt too much like a red herring to me- too obvious

The Waters' house did give me AHS Murder House vibes- they really nailed the creepy vibe with the set

Yess finally I’m so glad they got the moms to talk about Angela- also the fact that each mom's situation with Angela paralleled the daughters in the present

Noa saying "I can't handle juggling two addicts in my life" SWEETIE no :(((((

FARAN LETTING HER HAIR DOWN!!

I'm glad Henry told Faran about Kelly kissing him and didn't keep it a secret. Maybe there is one decent man on this show??

Also Ben Cook heyyy good for him getting those roles!

Ash just eating the pizza instead of directly answering Mouse's mom HAHA

Tabby's mom going OFF on Wes like that!!!

Faran going off on Sheriff Beasley!! QUEEN!

We got to see Imogen’s dad, interesting.

**The fact that he mentioned that Imogen’s mom stated in her will for Imogen to live with the Haworthes if anything bad happened though- TABOGEN WAS FATED! 

Honestly the whole Beasley family situation was really sad- and like the fact that there are some families like this in real life- it was really giving me Melanie Martinez Dollhouse vibes for sure.

Oh I see Kelly x Faran as a potential headcanon.

Oh damn. It was Chip. 

The whole scene when Imogen and Tabby confronted Chip though?Wow. Top tier acting from Bailee and Chandler. Powerful.

"This year has made us very, very good liars" ICONIC!

OMG THE FINAL EPISODE THOUGH HHHHHH

So much went DOWN!!

I'm still in shock with A doing that to Davie's body though- Tabby asking if Imogen was okay "Nope. Definitely not"

IMOGEN ADAMS DESERVES THE ENTIRE WORLD!! Fuck A for giving her life long trauma!

Not Angela's brother being named Archie- STOP WITH THE R*VERD*LE REFERENCES

IT WAS THE PRINCIPAL!!!! That was a good twist, I appreciate it.

Omg Kelly's mom stabbing Sheriff Beasley though was another twist I did not see coming.

1000000000+ points for adding a Motley Crue song in there!!

I absolutely LOVED the moment when the rest of the girls immediately stood up when the principal threatened to shoot Imogen and her baby- RIDE OR DIES FOR EACH OTHER YES

**THE FIGHT SCENE WITH IMOGEN AND A!!

MAKING CINEMATIC HISTORY

The camera angles in this show- absolutely DELICIOUS

Tabby being there when Imogen woke up in the hospital GO TABOGEN GO

The scene where everyone was celebrating Christmas together 🥺🥺 (every other ship kissing and then TABOGEN pls SEASON 2 SO WE CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN!!!)

Also why did I know someone was going to say Die Hard when Tabby asked about favorite Christmas movies and why did it fit Shawn perfectly-

Aww Elodie and Shirley saying they're going to couples therapy GOOD FOR THEM!! (technically they ALL need it lol)

Interesting way to bring back some original PLL with that Aria and Ezra mention.. but when that baby finds out that her parents were in a student teacher relationship-

Overall glad that all those nasty men were EXPOSED. Especially the principal and Sheriff Beasley. Still wondering about Wes though. If there's a season 2 I'm keeping an eye on him too.

So Kelly was Kelly the whole time- I like that there’s a possibility that she stays friends with the Liars in the future- but like what if it’s still Karen? I wanna believe it’s Kelly and that Kelly is good but still.

And finally, Imogen saying she thinks it’s over

But A killed Sheriff Beasley AND came back for Chip-

When I first heard about this show, I was skeptical at first and didn't have many expectations going into it. I never watched the very first Pretty Little Liars series in its entirety, but this spinoff somehow managed to pull me in. Thank you PLLOS Original Sin for everything! What an amazing cast and show. I would definitely recommend this show to others.

SEASON 2, SEASON 2, SEASON 2

[ki1zai]

Honestly wrote this on a whim so I hope it’s decent :’D Kinda Proofread but it’s late so I’m sorry for any errors and plot holes, hope y’all have a nice day and remember to hydrate <3

<><><><><><>

Pairing : Frank Castle / Matt Murdock ( Fratt )

<><><><><><>

TWs : mention of shooting and guns ( nothing explicit )

CWs (?) : lots of cursing ( no surprises here tbh )

<><><><><><>

“What the hell...” Frank muttered, picking up a stray pistol he left on his dinner table and silently made his way to the front door. Someone had been pounding on the poor thing for a solid minute and it was clear they weren’t going to stop anytime soon. Frank was very annoyed. It was currently 2:30 am and he was having a very good dreamless slumber before getting rudely interrupted by whoever was on the flip side of his door. Ensuring the pistol had bullets and clicking it’s safety was off, Frank slowly unlocked his door.Swinging it open, Frank hastily positioned his pistol to where his visitors head seemed to be.

Eyes widening and hands fumbling when he realised the idiot who was banging his door of it’s hinges was none other than Matt Murdock; resident vigilante. Putting the safety back on, Frank did a quick scan of Matt. And it was an understatement to say that he was not looking so hot. ( aka mentally stable )

Fortunately, from what Frank could tell, there wasn’t any major physical damage. Ignoring the fact that the man looked a second away from breaking down, he actually looked quite good. ( considering the lack of bullet holes or stab wounds in him )

“You’re looking like hell Red, you good?” Frank asked, ignoring the blatant concern in his tone that he didn’t doubt Red identified. Frank couldn’t help but feel worried for Red, they have been working together a lot recently. Frank - who would deny it but Red would call him out immediately -cared about Matt. They were sorta friends so Frank had all the right to be concerned. ( not as much as he was though )

“Heh- not that I’d know,” There it was, the classic Matt Murdock Blind Joke. Frank was,safe to say, not impressed.

“What do you want Red? I have half a mind to shut my door in your face so you better make it quick,” Frank threatened. Choosing to ignore the fact that, that was an obvious lie. Watching as the smirk on Matt’s face grew,Frank was sure the bastard knew he was lying. ( however he does that Frank still doesn’t know. Despite Matt explaining it many times. “You’re heart stutters when you lie” “What the fuck does that mean?!” )

Matt only shrugged as a response.

“Can I come in?”

Now Frank actually wanted to shut true door on the guys face. You did not ,harass Frank Castle’s door at 2 in the morning without an explanation, and end up alive. Matt was lucky Frank wasn’t in the mood to clean up a dead devil.

“Again. What do you want Red. I’m not asking again.” Frank repeated, tone unwavering. He watched as Matt squirmed, pursing his lips. Frank was intrigued by the reaction to say the least. He wondered what was the situation that made Mr Matt Murdock this uncomfortable. After a beat of silence, Matt cleared his throat.

“I- uh- well- I just don’t want to be alone right now...”

Frank did not know what he was expecting but it...definitely wasn’t that. He was maybe anticipated Matt getting himself in more ninja or mob-boss trouble as his civilian self. Not whatever this was. Frank stood silently, looking at Matt as though he was expecting him to come out and say. ‘Haha, I’m kidding, I ended up on someone’s hitlist and need help’. Fortunately or not, he didn’t end up saying anything along those lines.

“Sorry this is stupid, I’ll go, forget this happened. Sorry again for bothering.” Matt turned his back to walk away. Now Frank was just worried all over again. Matt wasn’t one to trip on his words or excessively apologise. Which was what he was currently doing. Something was wrong with him and god forbid Frank throw him to the curb when he needed someone.

Frank circled Matt’s wrist and pulled him into his home. Shutting and locking the door behind him.

“Don’t be stupid Red, sit yourself on the couch I’ll get you something to drink.” Frank huffed, letting go of Matt’s writs in favour of heading towards the kitchen. Hearing the shuffling of Matt in his apartment, Frank got to making drinks for the both of them.

Frank poured a glass of coffee for himself; he doubted he would be getting any sleep any time soon. And a glass of room-temperature water for Matt. Frank has learned that ambient temperature of water was best for Matt if he was in one of his ‘moods’. Has something to do with his weird Houdini senses or something along those lines. ( Matt has also explained it multiple times - it was nothing along those lines )

Making his way to where Matt was, Frank raised an eyebrow at Matt sitting back straight and hands clasped together at the very edge of his couch.

“Don’t be scared to get comfy Red, the couch ain’t gonna eat you,” Frank chuckled. Furrowing his eyebrows when he saw the other flinch slightly at his voice. Matt was usually always in touch with his senses, being able to hear movement from blocks down if he tried to. The fact he couldn’t detect Frank moving beside him was worrying to say the least. What was more concerning was the fact that he seemed Matt didn’t even process what was said to him. If anything his posture turned more rigid. The fuck was up with him. Matt had never had a problem with making himself at home at Frank’s place. Besides the original awkward tension the first time he visited but even then he looked mostly relaxed.

“Red, relax no need to be a stranger. Here’s some water,” Frank held out the water, making sure his voice was softer than before when talking. After a beat, Matt seemed to hear his words and sagged against the couch. Okay something was definitely wrong with him.

Seeing as Matt made no movement to take the glass, Frank sat down beside Matt and, despite all better judgement, carefully picked up Matt’s hand and brought it up to the glass. Watching as Matt realised what was happening and softly thanked him. Frank grunted in response and moved to drink his coffee. Feeling the caffeinated drink do it’s job.

“So you gonna tell me what all this is about?” Frank asked, ensuring his voice seemed unbothered. He wouldn’t want Matt to feel uncomfortable.

“You don’t have to tell me,” Frank added quickly. Matt’s incessant fidgeting at the question was making Frank fidget. Matt gave him a soft smile which did not make Frank’s heart flutter. ( it did and Matt did in fact hear it ) After a few more moments of silence, Frank was ready to move on and prompt a more relaxed conversation. He stopped himself from saying anything when he noticed Matt taking a deep breath in.

“It’s...it’s just- my dad uh got shot today. I’m usually alright but I’m not sure everything is just... it’s too much today. I can’t trust my senses and i feel like I can’t trust myself - to be alone that is” Matt explains, his voice was soft. If Frank wasn’t right beside the man there was no way he was going to hear his entire explanation.

Frank looked at Matt, like really looked at him. Matt usually carried himself confidently, trusting his intelligence and skill to ensure he could achieve whatever he wanted to. Matt, although clearly having not the highest ego, was sure of himself. The Matt Frank was studying currently, the one who seemed as if they wanted to curl up and hide. Frank noticed Matt’s hands gripping the cup in his hands so tightly, Frank was glad he didn’t use one of his glass cups. This Matt was scared, not only that, but he was visibly vulnerable. This Matt looked as if the slightest tap would shatter him.

Frank wasn’t stupid. He knew what this meant. Matt trusted him, for a reason only god knows, to keep him safe. To not exploit his vulnerability and take advantage of him, using him when he was in a state that it was way to. Frank couldn’t wrap his head around it. If it were some variation of someone wanting to harm Matt, that Frank understood. That Frank could deal. However, this was personal, something that doesn’t allow Frank to help by shooting multiple guns. Frank didn’t get why May didn’t go to Karen or even that lawyer friend of his.

‘Can’t trust myself - to be alone’.

God, Matt really knew how to make a guy feel special that’s a certain.

Again, Frank isn’t stupid. He’s actually incredibly intelligent. He’s an excellent problem solver and his time in the Marine only helped trained his quick thinking skills. He prided himself on being able to get out of any sticky situation.

This was different though. Despite his impeccable problem solving skills. This was new territory. Frank was used to not being trusted, he expected it and was fine with it. Frank was not used to people willingly showing vulnerability to him. He wasn’t used to people thinking he was worthy to trust with the troubles that keep them awake at night. Besides his reputation didn’t do him any favours in looking like a empathetic guy.

Not to mention the fact that the person who is currently doing this is Matt Murdock. It wasn’t that Frank didn’t think Matt trusted him. Quite the opposite actually, Frank knew Matt trusted him with his life. Similarly, Frank shared the sentiment. They both trusted each other to watch the others back and to just be there for one another. They were there for each other when no one else was. Or more specifically when no one else wanted to be.

Long story short, they cared for each other. However, this was still new. They didn’t go to each other and spill their life traumas. Of corse they knew each other had their fair share of shit but it wasn’t a discussed topic between the two. They both understood each other and the fact that they did made them closer than sharing life sorrows would have . Not to mention Matt had never been one to willingly go to someone when I’m trouble. ( trouble that couldn’t be solved with fighting bad guys in a body tight devil suit that is. Actually even then he didn’t easily ask for help ) Despite not knowing what to do, Frank wasn’t going to mess this up. Not purposely at least .

“Do you what me to put on a movie?” Frank asked. Frank knew that Matt clearly wasn’t in the mood to have a deep trauma sharing session. He wasn’t in the right mind and he came to Frank to avoid thinking about it. So Frank was going to make sure they didn’t talk about it, unless Matt specifically said he wants to.

“Not like I’d be able to watch it,” Matt huffed out a laugh. Frank smiled slightly and picked up the remote to turn one on. They did this sometimes, after long missions and patching each other up. Frank would put on a movie, put it on low volume for Matt. Then they would just sit there with each other, winding down after a long day.

It didn’t exactly make any sense considering none of them end up paying attention to the movie. ( and considering one of them is blind and Frank didn’t even turn on those audio description things ) However it was their thing and it did work it calming them down.

It really shouldn’t, neither of them knew why it worked. Maybe it was the fact they were just there, together and alive.

Together, alive and safe.

[lofitowns]

cleanse me

“ YOU ARE GOOD AND PURE AND EVERYTHING I AM NOT “

pairing. dabi touya todoroki x gn! reader

wc. 1.9k

summary. in which he is death and destruction and you are life and prosperity

tw/cw. blood, wounds

an. i’m really sorry if his characterization is off! i’ve never written for dabi before! also sorry if this isn’t my best,, i had an idea but i’m not sure if it translated well haha

sometimes he wonders why you let him touch you  

     You first met by accident. It was dark in the city; you could barely see around the corner. You knew you shouldn’t have been out that late. You knew you should have stayed over at your friend’s, especially with all the villains roaming around.

     Your limited sight made you miss the man rounding the corner. His shoulders were hunched, and his breathing ragged. You didn’t acknowledge him until he fell in front of you. His body laid across the pavement. You gasped in surprise, kneeling to see what was wrong. 

     Maybe it was stupid, but you didn’t want to leave him there. Even though you instantly recognized the purple scars and glistening staples, you weren’t scared. 

     Your apartment wasn’t far, but you were glad it was dark. Anyone would think it was strange to see someone lugging an unconscious body along with them. 

     You grunted as you attempted to open your door, hoping none of your neighbors would hear your struggle. The last thing you needed right now was someone seeing you bring a villain into your apartment.

     Once you finally got it opened, you dragged him into your bedroom and dropped him on your bed. You figured it would be easier to clean your bedsheet than your couch cushions. 

     You surveyed the damage. His shirt was torn, and you could see blood seeping out of the gashes. You attempted to peel it away from his skin, which in itself was a struggle. When you finally got it off, you wet a cloth to try and clean him up. 

     There was a multitude of cuts littering the man’s torso and arms; it made you wince. You ran the cloth over his skin, avoiding the staples since you didn’t know how sensitive those areas were.

     Why were you doing this? There was nothing for you to gain. You chewed your bottom lip in concentration as the rag soaked up his blood. When he was finally cleaned off, you grabbed some bandaids and wrap to try and stop the bleeding for the time being. There were a few deep gashes, but with no medical experience, you wouldn’t be much help for those.

     When you moved him in an attempt to wrap the bandages around his waist, he began to stir. Your breathing stilled for a moment as you stood in waiting. His eyes slowly fluttered open, and they were the most beautiful shade of turquoise.

     He blinked a few times before turning his gaze to you. Your lips were parted, and your eyes were blown wide. A deep rumble rose from his chest, falling out of his lips as a chuckle.

     “What do you think you’re doing?”

     Your mouth opened and closed a few times before you were able to come up with an answer, “Fixing you up.” It sounded more like a question than a statement.

     He looked down at the white bandages, then back up at you, then back at the bandages. You sent him a weak smile, but he shook his head.

     “You did it wrong.”

     “Oh! Sorry, I just wanted to help...”

     His face scrunched up as he sat up fully, hands gripping your bedspread. You reached out a hand to help him, but he pushed you away.

     “Get me a needle and thread.” 

     You sprang up, hoping that there was some in your first aid kit. 

     As luck would have it, there was.

     You quickly brought it back to him, seeing that he had taken the majority of his bandages off. When he saw you, he snatched the items out of your hands and began to work on himself.

     You sat on the end of your bed and watched him. His fingers worked skillfully as he sewed his skin together. His jaw was clenched, and his eyes were twitching. It was painful to watch. You were sure he had done this many times before. 

     Even knowing what he had done, you felt sorry for him. You didn’t know anything about his backstory. There were so many things that could have happened to him that lead him to this life. You weren’t here to judge him; you simply saw someone in need and helped them. You wouldn’t have to see him at any point after this anyway.

that night you scrubbed his hands clean twice, and he still saw blood stuck deep in his pores     

     But things weren’t that easy. He began showing up at your window at least once a week with blood collecting on his shirt. 

     In that time, you had become better at stitching him up. He showed you and gave you instructions the second time he came over, even though you tried to push him out. He would never say it, but he was grateful that he didn’t have to do it himself anymore.

     This night was no different. You had taken to keeping your living room light on and window unlocked just in case he needed in. 

     It still confused you as to why you continued. He wasn’t giving you anything in return. Maybe it was because you enjoyed his company. But maybe you were just scared.

     You heard the sliding of the window and the creaking of your floorboards. That was your cue to gather supplies and put a towel on the bed. 

     After setting your phone down on your bedside table, you made your way into your bathroom. After grabbing the small box and a washcloth, you turned to make your way back the way you came.

     But you couldn’t. Dabi’s tall figure stood in the doorway, looking down at you. He whispered your name as you took in his form, checking for where he was bleeding.

     You noticed a few tears in his clothes, but what caught your attention was his hands. They were drenched in red. Your eyes widened as you stared at them. 

     It didn’t take you long to decide what to do. You reached for his arm and brought him into your bathroom. He moved to sit on the toilet seat, eyes glazed over and staring into nothingness. You ran the tab, holding the washcloth underneath it for a few seconds. 

     You slowly cupped his right hand, averting your eyes from them to gaze at his face. He stared back at you, watching intently as you began to scrub the red away. The fabric would stain; there was no way it wouldn’t. 

     It took you more than one washcloth before you could see his skin again. And even after that, he asked you to do it again. His palms were tinted pink and you didn’t know if it was because of the roughness of the cloth or from the blood.

     Dabi couldn’t turn his attention away from you kneeling in front of him. All your attention was focused on helping and cleaning him up. It confused him, almost made him mad. Were just stupid? 

     He knew you weren’t.

     The man didn’t know why he still came here. It seemed routine now, he would get into a fight, and he would find himself sitting in your apartment. Your soft gaze would fall over him. Why were you so gentle with him? You were so kind. He didn’t deserve any of this. 

     But that’s why he kept coming back.

     You made him stand up so you could inspect the rest of his body closer. In the time that you had known him, he never let you get too close. Sometimes he would talk your ear off, while other nights he would be completely silent. You could never tell what was really going on inside of his head, but you assumed that was how he liked it.

his battle-worn tongue doesn’t say the truth anymore; that he is ruined

     The next time he crawled through your window, there was no blood in sight.

     You had already headed to the bathroom to grab your supplies while his feet took him to your bedroom. He stared at your bed. Your sheets were bunched up, and he assumed you had been sleeping prior to his intrusion. 

     “Dabi?” His name left your lips as you stood in the doorframe. 

     His attention was pulled to you, the light from behind you giving you an ethereal glow. You really were his angel. 

     “Hey, babe.”

     You shook your head at the pet name, “Where are you hurt?”

     “I’m not. I... I just wanted to see you.”

     Your jaw clenched, averting your gaze from him to the box in your hands. His personality had always been flirty, but he had never gone out of his way to see you. He only came over when he had something to gain.

     “Dabi...”

     His long strides brought him over to you in seconds flat. He raised a hand and tentatively hovered it over your cheek. You shouldn’t even be in the same room as someone like him, let alone let him touch you. But when your eyes turned up to look into his, he knew he was a goner.

     It happened gradually, increasing every time he stepped foot into your bedroom. The atmosphere fits you well, he thought. The fondness he felt made his chest constrict, and the breath was knocked out of his lungs. He wasn’t supposed to feel like this. He was a villain for god’s sake.

     You felt similarly. There was no doubt he was good looking, even with all his scratches and scars. Your stomach would twist into knots whenever you thought about him. It was always on your mind that one day he would stop coming, be it that he didn’t need you anymore or he lost his life. You never took yourself as someone that would fall for a villain.

     After a few moments, you reached up and pressed your hand to his raised on, finally setting it on your skin. He moved forward, the gap between your faces growing smaller. His breath fanned across your face, and you couldn’t take it any longer.

     You rushed forward, pressing your lips to his. They were chapped, and his palms were rough, but it didn’t make it bad. You reached up and cupped his cheeks in return, trying to keep him as close as you could. His hands moved down to rest on your waist.

     The kiss was shorter than you had expected. He pulled away and rested his forehead on yours, a small but intimate act. The man kept his eyes closed, fearing that if he opened them, you would be gone, and he would be alone again.

     He wanted to thank you for letting him crash into your life, but he knew he didn’t deserve you. You were everything he wasn’t. But you were allowing him to hold you with his stained hands and wrecked body. You were letting him touch you.

     No words were spoken as you took his hand and led him over to your bed. You crawled under the covers and lifted the other side, signally for him to join you. Dabi watched your moves intently, fighting an internal battle. Should he mess up your life even more than he already had?

     But you wanted this. You wanted him. And while he didn’t understand why, he wasn’t going to leave you hanging. He slipped his shoes off and dropped himself onto your sheets. They felt soft against his skin; he didn’t know the last time he had felt so content. 

     He turned his body towards you and saw that you were already facing him. You opened your arms, and he fell into them. He rested his head in the crook of your neck and breathed your scent in deeply.

     It took him a few moments to hold you back, but when he did, he pulled your flush against him. The pair of you melted into the embrace, the natural heat of his body warming you.

     Dabi knew he was never meant to have good things, but maybe this could be the exception.

and he wonders why you let him, the butcher, touch you, the sun.

thank you for reading :) have a good day!

[burtlederp]

Grant(3), Caleb(4), Caetan(35), Tiburon(49) oops,, its a lot, huh? Your characters are just awesome hAHA sorrYY

Nooo don’t apologize thank YOU!!! I’M sorry for taking so long to respond!!!

Putting stuff under a readmore because holy hell there’s a lot of it

3. What is/was Grant’s relationship with his father like? tw: drugs, drugs, and more drugs; child abuse a la neglect

He’s laying on his back in the middle of his apartment, staring at the domed ceiling overhead. Coherent thoughts are far and few between, his mind muddled by the haze that fills it, fills the room, the whole apartment. Before he’d started smoking, he’d known he’d regret stealing so much weed, but for now, he didn’t. He floated in a peaceful bliss, utterly serene. No thoughts in, no thoughts out. Just smoke, curling and floating around him. Shapes moved amongst the haze, too faint to identify, passing, shifting forms. People, perhaps, walking by, walking around him. Legs passing by, nobody ever stopping to look down at him. People milling about, paces slowing, soon they’re coming and going. They enter the room, they talk, they leave after a brief exchange of currencies. His father is sitting behind him, on the couch. He’s high too, he’s always high, Grant can just barely see the shadows of his father’s hunched form when he tips his head back. His father never relaxed when he was high. He always became even higher strung, if that was possible. He only calmed down when he had heroin in his veins, or something stronger. 

Grant couldn’t see the face of the smoky form of his father. There wasn’t one. In his memory, there never had been. His father in the transient construction of smoke was as accurate as any depiction Grant could have conjured on his own. Never present, never really there, always drugged out of his mind, never sober. Just the same as the haze that filled the house permanently. 

4. Has Caleb ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed him? If so, does anyone else know? tw: war is hell, child abuse a la war is fucking hell, no I’ve not read the Silmarillion I just like the idea of Tom Bombadil don’t @ me

Caleb scrubbed his face on his arm and shivered, pulling the tattered cloth he called a blanket tighter around himself. It’d been raining for days now, with no end in sight, and it had transformed the prairie into a mudscape. He and one other lone figure huddled around a tree that stood tall in the midst of the brown sea, one solitary rise of solid ground, one lone spot of relative shelter. 

“B-beautiful weather, innit?” the other, the stranger, chuckled. It was the first thing they’d said since they arrived. They’d showed up last night, flopping down against the tree and falling asleep. Caleb had kept his distance, kept still, not showing any inclination of actually being alive. He didn’t reply to the stranger’s comment on the weather.

“Not in th’ mood ‘fer talkin’? Thas’ a’ight…” they sighed after a long minute, realizing Caleb wouldn’t respond. “An’ I know yer’ not asleep, ‘cause iss’ too cold t’be sleepin’ right now.” Caleb still didn’t respond. He was wary of the person. There was no such thing as a stranger with ulterior motives. 

“Don’ worry, I got enough words fer’ th’ both of us,” the stranger, a man, Caleb realized over the constant sound of rain, scoffed. Caleb looked heavenward, praying silently. 

Please, no, don’t let him talk, Caleb prayed, but unfortunately the gods were not on his side in this moment. 

“I’ve met a god before. Now, I know what yer’ thinkin’--’you? Dionisio? Seen a god? Ha! As if!’ But I tells ya’, I met ‘em. Hell if I’m to know which one he was or what he did or whatnot, but I met ‘im and he was a fabulous fella. Called ‘imself Tom, of all things. Can ye’ believe that? A god, named Tom! Ah, I hardly believed it myself when ‘e said it.” Caleb sighed, rubbing his face. The man’s name was Dionisio, and he was crazy. Excellent. I’m stuck out here in the middle of nowhere with a crazy man who’s likely going to kill and eat me. 

A distinct crunch cut off Caleb’s train of thought. It wasn’t a sickening crunch, like a breaking bone or the like, but like a bite into an apple, a fresh, crisp apple. Caleb spun around, looking around the tree to see the man, as crinkled and wrinkled and dirty and filthy as he had sounded and smelled, leaned comfortably against the tree. His dark, beady eyes twinkled as Caleb stared at him.

“Mm, I knew that’d get yer’ attention!” he laughed, a hand lowering to his side. Before Caleb could react, jump back from the man’s drawn sword--he realized the man hadn’t drawn a sword at all. It was another apple. He held out the bright red fruit to Caleb. “Go on n’ take it, lad, y’probably more starved than I am!” 

Caleb sat there, hesitating, eyes flickering between the apple and the man, weighing his options. He could take the apple, but… what did he want in return? Was the apple cursed? Poisoned? Was this a trick? He backed up a step warily, like a shy animal.

“Ayee, I’m not gonna ‘urt you! I jus’ wanna give y’ somethin’ t’eat. I swear I ain’t mean nuthin’ by it,” Dionisio insisted, holding the apple out further. Caleb stared, waiting. Dionisio tilted his head, giving a wry smile. “C’mon laddie. I ain’t mean ye no harm, c’mon.” His voice softened as he spoke, getting a little quieter, more gentle, not so rough and abrasive like the coarse mud that surrounded them. Caleb swallowed, his stomach twisting. It’d been days since he’d eaten. He didn’t remember when he’d last eaten. And here it was, food, offered with no strings attached. It was too good to be true. But his hunger overrode his instincts now and he snatched the apple from the man’s hand, leaping away right after. 

“Aye, there we go, there we go, see? An’ I didn’ even ‘urt ye!” Dionisio chortled, watching as Caleb devoured the apple. The old man kept smiling, but it faded somewhat as the small, one-armed boy ate. “Ye been hit as ‘ard as anyone else by this war, ain’t ye?” 

Caleb, chewing, looked up briefly at the man through messy, curly, wet black hair that fell in his eyes. He nodded, ever so slightly. 

“Ye… Ain’t we all…” Dionisio sighed, letting his head rest against th’ tree. “I got more apples fer’ ye if ye want ‘em after that ‘un.” Caleb frowned.

“Why?” Caleb was surprised as the sound that came from his throat was not one he recognized. It was a croak, rough and unused. Though it had been… well, Caleb didn’t even know the last time he’d spoken. He cleared his throat and tried again, questioning the man. Dionisio huffed a laugh.

“‘Why’? Whaddya’ mean, ‘why’?” the old man looked to him with a grin. “‘Cause I want to, and ye look half-dead, and ye barely a child! Ye need it more than I do.”

“But….” Caleb looked down at the core of the apple in his hand. “You could last so much longer if you kept them to yourself.”

“But you’ll last so much longer if I don’t, won’t ye?” Dionisio pointed out simply. “That’s reason enough fer’ me.” A spot of red appeared in Caleb’s peripheral vision, and he raised his head to see another apple being offered to him, Dionisio smiling. Caleb took it slowly.

“No… no other goal…?” Caleb asked cautiously, and Dionisio shook his head.

“None. I jus’ wanna see ye get outta’ this war alive, lad.”

Caleb leaned back against the tree as Dionisio kept telling his story, listening out of one ear as he thought about the apple. Food, so precious in this time of war and chaos, and he’d given it away freely. 

Perhaps there are good people in this world, still… Caleb thought as Dionisio talked and talked and talked, and it rained and rained and rained.

35. How does Caetan behave around people he likes? in a word: badly tw: implied to-happen noncon/r*pe

Caetan drummed his fingers on the bartop, chin resting in his other hand. He nudged his drink around a bit, bored. He didn’t really know what he was here for. Well, he did, he knew very well. He’d been more than busy the past couple weeks, and was yearning for some company. But he wasn’t sure what mood he was in. 

And then someone sat down a few seats from him at the bar and he did a double-take. A man, maybe 6-foot-one, with short, dark hair that was well-kept, well-styled. Lean, well-muscled, but not brawny. His face was narrow, and by god that was the most perfect nose Caetan had ever seen in his life. 

Caetan realized what mood he was in and got to his feet.

“This seat taken?” Caetan inquired. The man turned, looking up at him with deep, chocolate-y brown eyes that made Caetan pray the man said no because his knees were about to give out. The man shook his head, and Caetan tried to slip into the seat without giving away how weak he was already. “You here alone tonight?”

“I am,” the stranger responded, eyeing Caetan somewhat warily. 

“That’s a shame,” Caetan shook his head. “A beautiful creature like yourself on your own on a Friday night? I’d say that’s a crime against humanity.”

The man stared at him, and Caetan suddenly second-guessed everything he’d said or done already. What had he done wrong? Could he fix it? What--

“I’m straight.” Ah. That’s what’s wrong. Caetan’s face fell a bit.

“Well, damn. You sure?” Caetan sighed.

“Very,” the man replied stiffly.

“That’s an even bigger shame, then,” Caetan grunted, motioning the bartender over. “Let me buy you a drink then, to save some face.”

“No thanks,” the man said quickly, getting to his feet. “Have a good night.” With that, the beautiful stranger turned and walked away. Caetan watched him go, and slowly got to his feet, moving stealthily through the bar as the man headed to the door of the bar, and he followed him out into the night.

49. If Tiburon was put into ______ situation, they’d rather die than live to see it through. I had no idea what to do with this for a looong time, ngl cw: cannablism(?), consumption of human flesh, gore, Tiburon doesn’t give two shits about your ‘ethics’, he’s got his own that he’s following; oh and implied kidnapping, planned torture that never happens

It occurred to Tiburon, now too late, that perhaps he was in over his head. ‘Infiltrate the mafia,’ they said, ‘it’ll be fun,’ they said. ‘You surely won’t be forced to torture and kill someone!,’ they said, he thought bitterly as he stood in front of a man tied firmly to a chair, a black bag over his head. His head was bowed inside the bag, but he wasn’t unconscious; Tiburon could hear the man choking on sobs, shoulders shaking. Tiburon had killed people before, he’d eaten people before, he had no issue with that; it was the torture that made him hesitate. Every time he’d killed, he’d taken special care to not let them suffer, he hated suffering.

And now here he was, being compelled to do it. Well, he would be, it hadn’t happened yet. He was trapped in this shipping container, another man standing by the door, waiting, watching, playing witness to Tiburon’s actions to let the boss know he was legit. Tiburon sighed, rubbing his face. What a fucking inconvenience. Six months--six fucking months of work, all down the drain, just like that. He tortured this man, made him suffer, or they would kill Tiburon. Well, they thought they would. Unfortunately, they were currently on the docks, so Tiburon would make his getaway before they ever knew he’d changed his mind about the work. 

He turned away from the sobbing, bound man to face the guard, crossing his arms. The man, at least a head taller than Tiburon and fifty pounds heavier, every ounce made of muscle, eyed him.

“What?” The man’s voice was exactly what Tiburon had pictured--deep, raspy, heavy. Appropriate.

“Nothing,” Tiburon replied, looking away with a sigh. He rubbed his jaw, thinking. He had to cut to the chase before things started getting iffy. He turned back around and walked close to the guard.

“What’re you doing?” the guard grunted, sizing up the supposed torturer while the supposed torturer did the same to him. Tiburon did not reply, not verbally, grabbing the man by the head and pushing him against the wall. The guard barked in alarm and fought back, but Tiburon was quicker and slippery. Before the large brute could get a good grip on him and make the whole ordeal a lot more trouble, he leapt forward and sank his teeth into the man’s throat. The guard’s shout of alarm quickly twisted into a scream, then into a gargled wail that was silenced as Tiburon pulled away, trachea still in his teeth. The guard slumped to the floor, grasping at his own neck with wide eyes, and Tiburon hated it. A swift kick, and the guard’s body shuddered and went still, skull dented. Tiburon chewed thoughtfully on the trachea for a moment, surveying his work, and went to the captive man. The poor creature yelped in alarm at the touch as Tiburon cut through the zipties, but went quiet as the black hood was yanked off. The man’s eyes went wide as he saw the cartilage in Tiburon’s mouth, the dead body, and scrambled backwards with a terrified shriek.

“No, no, no no no please!” he begged, tears rolling down his cheek, one hand outstretched protectively. Tiburon frowned.

“Don’t worry, I won’t, I just figured it’d be cruel to leave you alone in the summer heat. Toodles.” With that, the merman turned and stepped out of the shipping crate, walking to the edge of the water, at some point discarding the trachea (cartilage wasn’t good eats anyhow) along the way. He dove in, relishing the cool ocean saltwater as it closed over his head, pleasant in the summer heat. 

Six whole months… he thought again as he swam away, his legs fusing into a long tail, skin becoming rough, teeth sharpening. Ah well. Now I know; the mafia isn’t worth the work.

[elviravampira]

Tw/Cw for parental abuse, self harm, parasites

.

.

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I started cutting myself when I was thirteen, on my shoulders, and then my upper arm, and then my thighs. My mom saw healing cuts on my thighs one day when I was, if I had to guess, 16. She took me aside, pointed at my legs, and told me if I didn't cut that shit out she'd tell my dad. That threat rocked me to my core, and I just started cutting higher up. I didn't know what my dad would do or would have done if he did find out about my SH. But ma didn't find any more, and so, the question remains.

But...why? Why??? Why didn't she help me??? She never helped me. She was supposed to because she's my mom but she didn't, she made it worse and fucking slammed the metaphorical door in my face.

I had tried so many times to talk about my emotions to my parents. Hey, I feel incredibly angry all the time and daydreams of violence make me feel calm. Hey, I'm really sad all the time and I don't know why but I am also losing interest in everything and can't focus, is that normal? Hey mom and dad, I feel like I'm being watched all the time. I feel like that's voices in my head do nothing but tell me what a Stupid Piece of Shit I am.

Everything was met with "this is normal parts of growing up! 😊 Everyone feels like that!" Now I understand that my parents are most likely mentally ill as well, and since I know that both of them think therapy is for "weak" people, they're undiagnosed. Remember, it's only a real illness if you are bleeding. Remember, don't forget.

Obviously that's horseshit. It did not help me and made it worse. I'm just too much of a wimp I guess. I began disaccociating when I was 14 and told no one because...I mean? When had they listened to me before? Even with physical illnesses I got fucking shit for. As I'm typing this, I'm remembering being like 9. I had pinworms. I used to play in the dirt a lot, I guess, so that's where they came from. I had them for a while before I realized what they were, and had to work up the nerve to tell my mom I thought I might have a parasite. She didn't look up from her book when she asked "are you fucking kidding me?"

I don't remember all that I said of course, about yeah I'm sure, I saw them in the toilet, but I felt she was angry at me, and didn't bring it up again. She didn't take me to the doctor. She didn't ever ask me about it. The worms went away on their own.

Haha, man. That brought up a bunch of memories of physical injuries I was yelled at over or not believed for.

My mom is the chief rug sweeper in the family. "I like to keep the peace", she says, as she lets my dad's Nmother verbally harass her and her children. This is a trait I learned from her, and it has hindered me incredibly. I'm doing my best to unlearn this and hold people accountable, including myself.

The fundamental betrayal of both of my parents against me, their daughter, is bad, and in some ways the turning away of my mother is worse than the eggshells my father forced me to walk on.

But that's a different post with different tags, and something that will be painful to write.

I'm glad I started this blog. Getting these memories out of my head, placing them here where I and they are safe. A lot of my childhood is now coming back into my memory since I'm out of that environment for good, and my head is uncomfortably crowded and it's loud. My boyfriend is amazing and incredibly supportive and understanding; however, he isn't my dumping ground for my baggage. He doesn't mind listening and comforting me, but it's unreasonable to talk about this with him whenever it's bothering me--which, now, is a lot. I told him and only him about this blog, and he thinks it's a great idea. I love him so much. Maybe I'll make a post one day just gushing about him instead of dragging my parents.

I wonder how I'll feel about this blog after they're gone. Maybe I'll feel guilty and bad and gaslight myself. But...it fucking happened. They did this and it was abuse. I won't say they're shitty people, because I can't. Ugh. Why is this shit so complicated, lol.

When I started this blog I thought I'd go with a linear timeline of my childhood, but I see now that that's impossible for me to do. So many of my memories are jumbled and missing pieces. But that's okay. It's okay.

Fuck.

--Elvira Vampira

[thestuckylibrary]

Group Ask 126

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Anon 1 said:

hi! maybe you can help me find a fic that I can’t for the life of me remember the title of; Steve is transported into an alternate universe while fighting hydra. He’s a comic book artist and in a relationship with Bucky and the only way to get back is to be choked (?). Thank you!

Anon 2 said:

Hello! I'm looking for a fic where shield brings bucky in before the events of tws so he's there by steve's side when he wakes up in the future. thanks for everything you guys do!

dragonflybeach sent in Sforzando* by Odsbodkins (complete | 14,570 | E ) *Bucky/OMC ; past Bucky/Natasha

Anon sent in Ice Man by WanderingAlice (oneshot | 4,851 | not rated)

Anon 3 said:

Hey, I hope ur having an amazing day!!! I'm looking for a fic, I remember it was Cap!Steve and Modern!Bucky, but Bucky was SHIELD and Fury sent him to babysit Steve in the new century? Bucky had the metal arm and he was a veteran, and lost his memory a few chapters in, because he fell from a train during a mission? Do you have any idea what that could be? I'm losing my mind going through all the tags haha, thanks for an amazing blog!

whitewolfbucky, dolphinqueen10, Anon and idjits-and-balls sent in Easy Work For Easy Pay by AustinB (complete | 45,718 | M)

Anon 4 said:

Do you guys no of a fic where Bucky is like a villain/criminal that is always getting the slight upper hand on CapSteve? I remember it was a humorous story and the first meeting Steve gets tied up somehow and Bucky taunts/flirts with him. Thank you for all your hard work!

dolphinqueen10, kittybrownjs and Anon sent in No, Mr. Bond, I Expect You to Pine by galwednesday (oneshot | 16,466 | T)

Anon 5 said:

Hey guys! I would like one find this fic where Steve confesses to Bucky and Bucky is like... oh? I love you too but it's kinds unrequited for a while? Steve cries but then he like starts to go out and Bucky also helps edit steves tinder profile but by then he's already jealous of steves partners? And he also tries to seduce Steve of his birthday by giving him a blowjob? I honestly remember the whole thing but I can't find it it again ;(

whitewolfbucky and dolphinqueen10 sent in haha, jk* by relenafanel (oneshot | 13,523 | T) */others 

Anon 6 said:

hi can you help me find a fic? it reminds me of water under the fridge except bucky is the plumber and is employed by steve's landlord, after fixing stuff in steve's apartment they have semi-regular sex, at one point steve says something that makes bucky think steve looks down on his job/ashamed of "sleeping with the help" & there's angst/pining, in the end steve apologizes and they make up, i tried searching all the plumber/handy man related tags i could think of and i cant find it

forevermorexo sent in Intensification by ameonna (zetsubonna), melospiza (orphan_account) (oneshot | 7,634 | E)

Anon 7 said:

Hi could you please help I've searched the tags and AO3 and I can't find this fic where Steve as Cap meets military!Bucky (I *think* he's retired but I can't remember) and ends up spending a lot of time with Bucky and the Howlies. Only other details I can remember is that Steve ends up accidentally just hanging out constantly with the Howlies in their apartment. Thank you so much!

getstucky sent in Rescue Me and Hold Me In Your Arms by 74days (oneshot | 6,793 | T)

Anon 8 said:

Hey, I've been trying to find this fic i lost. In it Steve works at a coffee shop and Bucky works at stark industries. Instead of being small and skinny or being muscular though, he was small and fat. It was adorable and if it helps, i remember that Clint and natasha were dating, and it had 16 chapters. Thanks!

Anon sent in Sweet as Honey and Just as Pretty* by LeisurelyPanda (WIP | 131,408 | E) *brief /others

Anon 9 said:

Hiya! I’ve been looking for a fic everywhere (using as many tags as I could) but couldn’t find it. I don’t remember the name of it or the plot, just that it’s a modern/no-power au. What I remember is that Bucky and Steve are roommates and Bucky thinks Steve is straight until he sees a man leaving Steve’s room. Stucky is endgame tho! Do you think you could find it? Cheers mates!

Anon 10 said:

hello! i'm looking for a fic that was in outsider pov, post-cw where steve & bucky ran away. the pov was from an elderly woman's pov and she didn't realise it was them until she saw the news on tv? have been looking through the outsider pov tag and couldn't find it :/ thanks!

musings-on-bucky-barnes sent in The Season for Plums by whatthefoucault (oneshot | 2,027 | T)

Anon 11 said:

Heyy! What you do is amazing! I was looking for a fic where Bucky is jewish and very religious so he can’t be with Steve bc he’s not (I think there was kind of an arranged marriage but idk) thank youu

Anon 12 said:

Hi! I’ve been looking for this fix for a really long time, but I can’t find it. Steve is rescued earlier tha he is in the movies and then he find Bucky, who is the winter soldier, I think because he tries to kill someone. I believe they keep him in Howard’s basement and at some point Bucky writes down his trigger words and gives them to Steve and the Howling Commandos and I think Gabe reads them out loud to everybody.

Anon 13 said:

I’m having trouble finding a fic, all that I remember about it was that Bucky and Steve were in a relationship post WS where Bucky could only have sex with Steve if they were in a rape fantasy role play. At the end the avengers walk in on the two of them and think that Bucky is actually raping Steve and Bucky has a freak out that he really hurt Steve and slipped back into the WS. Can you help me find it?

paper-storm, teenwasteland, Anon and dolphinqueen10 sent in Lamb and Martyr* by Dira Sudis (dsudis) (complete | 39,589 | E) *HTP, graphic violence, heed the tags

Anon 14 said:

I’m looking for a fix and I’ve looked through everything so I’m coming here as a last resort. Steve is an artist and I remember one part where Bucky goes to one of his gallerys and all the paintings are sold except for one of Sarah and one that was him. I think they were childhood friends or maybe exes or something. It also might’ve had Brooklyn in the title or something.

Anon 15 said:

Hi, I'm looking for a Stucky fic where they are staying together but not a couple. Each night Steve's inner alpha makes him sleepwalk into Bucky's room.

[trancowboy]

Hi Charlie, I'm making a thing and I was wondering if you could help me by shraing your view about steve rogers and bucky barnes, as individual characters as well as your view of their relationship together, headcanons and such, is totally okay if you can't, but if you do I'd be eternally grateful! Thanks anyway

Pal, you basically just invited me to write a whole entire essay about these two assholes, so… I’m sorry? This is gonna get long and most likely sad.

Steve Rogers:

Steve is an asshole, through and through. He’s got a heart of gold and being a good person is in his nature, but my god is he an asshole.

He will fight anyone who does him or anyone he cares about wrong. He won’t hesitate to pick a fight and he would much rather throw some punches than have a verbal conversation/discussion.

Steve Rogers talks with his fists. He’ll fight until he physically can’t stand anymore and even then he will stand up and push himself just that last little bit.

(”I could do this all day.” Steve, my angry baby, have a seat and take a nap.)

Steve is the bisexual we deserve. I think he’s always been aware that he’s attracted to both men and women, but he never told anyone about it back in the day. He didn’t need people to have another reason to beat him up, so he kept it quiet.

(And if he paid a little more attention to certain drawings of a certain boy, then that was his business.)

I don’t think he knew there was a name for what he feels until he woke up in the future. But once he found out and learned more about it, I like to think he’d be a Proud Bi and just tell everyone he comes across because it’s okay now and he can do it.

Sure, it gets a little tiring when he answers his phone with, “Steve Rogers, proud bisexual. Hello,” but his friends get used to it and strangers get past the confusion quickly.

Steve swears. A lot. Like a whole fucking lot. I actively ignore the whole “Language” line (unless it was a joke that Steve only told because he’s tired of the ~grandpa~ jokes, which, ok, I can get behind that) because Steve Rogers has the mouth of a fucking sailor.

Steve can swear up a storm but compliment him or flirt with him or be extra nice or anything and he’ll blush like a tomato and become so awkward he doesn’t know what to do with himself.

Even after all these years, Steve still feels a bit awkward in this new body of his. He doesn’t miss being skinny and sickly and tiny and on the brink of death all the time, but sometimes he doesn’t like being big and muscle-y either. Sometimes he doesn’t like how he can’t make himself invisible as easily as he used to.

Sometimes he just wants to curl up under the covers of his bed and hide from the outside world that has painted him as a person he’s not; a world that sees him as a soldier and Captain America™ rather than a human being.

He lives in a world he doesn’t recognize where everyone he ever knew and cared about are either dead or only remembers him half the time. This deleted scene from The Avengers shows just how detached to the world he feels and honestly, I have way too many feelings about that three minute video.

Steve throws himself into danger (jumping on a grenade without thought, crashing the Valkyrie, jumping out of a plane without a parachute, etc) because he doesn’t really care whether he lives or dies. He never feared death because death has loomed over him like a shadow since he was a child.

And maybe he wants death to take him sometimes. He definitely wanted to when he crashed the Valkyrie. He could have fought more, could have figured out a way to save the world and still survive, but he was tired and he just wanted it to end, so he stopped fighting.

And then he woke up 70 years later to more fighting and he just never slowed down or took a break, because if he did, he’d have to deal with how he was feeling and he couldn’t handle that. He didn’t want to deal with it because it was too painful.

While extremely heavy on the angst, Einherjar by thecommodore_squid perfectly portrays Steve’s depression. Steve in that fic is pretty much exactly how I see him.

MOVING ON TO HAPPIER THINGS, SHALL WE?

Steve is a Disney nerd. He probably didn’t get to catch up on all the new Disney movies between TFA and CW, but between giving up the shield and becoming Nomad (@ marvel let me have bearded!nomad!steve pls and thanks) he probably took a breather for the first time in years and started on the list.

(Does he sit with a laptop by Bucky’s cryo freezer and watches them with him??? haha shoot me)

Steve will fight for what he believes in, no matter what. He proved that in CW when he gave up everything for Bucky without thinking twice.

And then, of course, there’s my headcanon that Steve is trans but if I dive into that, this thing is gonna end up 100k on Steve alone.

Bucky Barnes:

Bucky cares so much. He’s the guy who stood by this skinny, little punk’s side when no one else did. He’s the guy who probably worked his ass off for hours and hours just to get enough money so Steve could get healthy (or healthier) again.

He’s the guy who went through torture and trauma and had the opportunity to get an honorable discharge after what he went through, but he didn’t. Instead he followed his best friend back into war and it cost him his life and freedom and self.

But I’d bet my left foot that he’d do it all again, because he’s Bucky and Bucky cares so goddamn much about everyone but himself.

Bucky is gay. Yes, he was with women back in the day and yes, he kissed them and fooled around with them and probably got off a little, but I think he did it just because it was expected of him.

If it wasn’t because it would be suspicious to everyone else, he would probably just stay home with Steve and pine every single day.

Bucky is such a giant fucking nerd. He finds science and technology incredibly exciting. I mean, he did spend his last night before going off to war dragging Steve to the Stark Expo (and their dates but eh).

Imagine his reaction to all the science stuff he missed while being used by Hydra? He’s gonna light up like a child on Christmas. God, I love my nerd son so much.

Bucky is smart as hell and no one can convince me otherwise. I mean, “[…] having been an excellent athlete who also excelled in the classroom” is proof enough.

Bucky has been through hell and back several times. He’s been wiped of his memories and himself until he was a blank slate for Hydra to do whatever they wanted to with, and it’s happened probably more times than he’s been able to keep track of. And every time he started regaining just a little bit of himself or just one little memory, the torture would start all over again.

He’s been through hell, so it shouldn’t surprise anyone that he suffers from a severe case of PTSD.

Bucky Barnes is a man who cares and protects and when he’s made into a weapon who kills and murders and destroys – when he himself becomes the danger, he locks himself away because he thinks that’s the best thing for everybody.

Steve + Bucky:

There’s no Steve without Bucky, and there’s no Bucky without Steve. Steve and Bucky have always been SteveandBucky, and one without the other means they’re never really whole.

They’re their own person, sure, but they’re better together. They make each other better. Bucky makes sure Steve doesn’t kill himself with his stupidity and recklessness, and Steve makes sure Bucky gets protected and cared for too.

Steve will give up everything for Bucky, no hesitation and no questions asked, and Bucky will do whatever it takes to protect Steve, even if that means hurting him in the process (ie going into cryo).

Bucky is Steve’s dark side and Steve will do anything for him.

I have mixed thoughts on who fell in love with who first. My first instinct is to say Bucky fell in love with Steve first because of all the obvious pining in TFA, but then I think about little Steve Rogers who everyone beat up and disregarded and didn’t care about getting saved by this wonderful boy who doesn’t look down on him and treats him like an equal and I think it was easy for Steve to fall in love with Bucky, so I’m just¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

It doesn’t really matter who fell in love with who first though, does it? What mattes is that they love each other unconditionally and ‘til the end of the line (and beyond cause c’mon. That kinda love is never gonna die).

To end on a lighter note, I’m gonna give you some fluffy headcanons cause I have A Lot.

Steve is the big spoon. He always has been. Bucky loved when there was a skinny octopus clinging to him and barely being able to cover him and he loves it when he’s surrounded by pillowy muscles and warmth.

Bucky was Steve’s favorite subject to draw. And even after everything, even when he hadn’t seen him for years and thought he was dead, Steve still drew him because he never wanted to forget the face of the man he loves.

Whenever Bucky talks about science stuff, he gets all excited and extra cute, and Steve always falls in love with him a little bit more.

Same for when Steve talks about art or literally anything he’s passionate about. Steve could talk about poop and piss for an hour, and Bucky would be making heart-eyes at him the whole time.

Steve used to wear Bucky’s shirts all the time. His excuse used to be that he was too lazy to do laundry, but really, he just liked wearing Bucky’s clothes. (Bucky never minded.)

Clothes sharing is a Thing with these two. It’s a Thing that happens a lot and no one can convince me otherwise.

Bucky loves having his hair played with and Steve loves to play with Bucky’s hair.

Bucky has always loved dancing. That doesn’t change over the years, and he will make Steve dance with him again. (”I don’t care that the serum didn’t fix your two left feet, Stevie, dance with me.”)

When they finally do get together (whether that was before the war or after TWS doesn’t matter) Steve never wastes an opportunity to tell Bucky he loves him, and Steve takes every chance he can to kiss him because now he can.

Steve was probably the one who made the first move.

Steve is a little shit and Bucky loves him even when he’s being Extra and Dramatic and even when Bucky’s exasperated with him. Steve can be as much of an asshole as he wants to, because Bucky will always love him.

Bucky loves flirting with Steve just to see Steve blush bright red. (Sometimes Bucky will just casually put his hand on Steve’s butt or boob and Steve will become Captain Tomato.)

Steve will fucking fight anyone who says anything bad about Bucky.

Conclusion: Give these boys some hugs and a happy ending, please and thank you.

Anyway, I’ve got a ton more Thoughts but this is already so stupidly long, so I’m gonna stop there. Hope this was helpful (was it??? idk) and thank you for letting me ramble on about these two fuckers.

PS, tell me more about your thing or link me, maybe, if you wanna 👀