#He is not a simp

[no-place-to-be-happy]

@hazbmymhotel here!!

How does Overlord Angel pamper Huky? OwO if you don't mind my asking

According to Angel's brother, the simple fact of not making him work already makes him a spoiled brat.

Even though Angel does do things for Husk aside from that, like, he lets him do pretty much anything Husk wants, he has a little grooming routine for Husk, (Have you ever seen those videos where they put a bunch of products on cats for a simple bath and drying 😭🙏???)

Angel is aware of the terrible diet that the beloved Husky has had since he is not an Overlord, letting him eat whatever Husk wants and making sure he is actually eating! If it wasn't so Husk simply wouldn't do it because he couldn't care less. When he feels that the poor thing is not eating enough, he forces him to do so (in a gentle way).

Gifts, oh man, Angel gives Husk A LOT of gifts, nightly "getaways", just making him comfortable at night? Lots of cuddles, lots and lots of cuddles. At least until Husk gets overwhelmed and makes him stop.

[bibbysstuff]

S in Sylus stands for Simp

[prlssprfctn]

Batsiblings convince Jason to get himself a cooking Tiktok account, and he gives in. To his surprise, he quickly gains millions of followers and a loyal auditory. The only problem? Jason has no idea that these people came here not necessary for recipes.

Jason: Geez, my followers had been pissing me off lately.

Dick, confused: Huh? Why?

Jason: They keep commenting ATE. Like, dude? Fucking where? I am not eating in my cooking videos. What is the fucking point?

Tim, choking: Oh my fucking God-

Jason, making an angry text post for his followers: YOU ALL. STOP COMMENTING "RAW". MY MEAT IS NOT RAW. I AM A PROPER COOK. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???

Cassandra: Maybe it is time to tell him...

Tim, Steph, Duke, in unison: NO

Bruce, awkwardly trying to have a conversation with Jason: Hey, lad, how is your cooking blog is going?

Jason: Uh, people keep commenting cryptid messages. Like, the last time I was showing the right way to tenderise meat for chops because apparently it wasn't clear and someone requested the whole video? Anyway, I did it, and the whole comment section was writing me "in bed, on the floor, on the couch, on a chair, against the wall, against the window, against the door"... Like, why would I do that, not in the kitchen?

Bruce, no less clueless: Maybe it some kind of challenge. Kids love trying new stuff in extreme places nowadays.

Jason: Huh. Maybe. Thanks.

Bruce, just proud to have a proper conversation and somehow a help: Anytime, Jaylad!

Damian, who was unblissfully educated on the slang matter by Tim (because it was his responsibility as a big brother to traumatise him), with his eye twitching: ...None of these words were in Quran

[haley-harrison]

Calypso: The stars are beautiful tonight.

Odysseus: You know who else is beautiful?

Calypso (blushing): Who?

Odysseus: Penelope.

[gillotto]

He’s supposed to be studying.

[allastoredeer]

Deer's shed the velvet on their antlers. Alastor is no exception.

Bonus! They also eat it and cannibal besties always share.

+Bonus: Bucks shed their velvet right before rutting season, so take from thar what you will

Follow up post ➡️HERE ⬅️

[junespriince]

What would you tell your younger self if you could go back in time, Titans.

Wally, holding young Wally shoulders: tell them, our parents are shit and they won't change, so live with Uncle Barry and Aunt Iris. Also no, we're not getting over Dick, it will get worse.

Young Wally: aw...

---

Roy: lock the fuck in little shit, also read those parenting books in B's closet we need those... We will think she's dying every day if we don't read those books.

Young Roy: I get a kid? Lame.

Roy, strangling himself: LIAN IS NOT LAME YOU PIECE OF SHIT!

---

Garth: live in Roy's bathroom, it the best.

Young Garth: WE HAVE A FRIEND!?

---

Donna: men ain't shit- except your twin, Dickie. life ain't shit, except to torture Dickie. And you will steal his girl because trust me, we love women and I want you to get with her sooner, after therapy.

Young Donna: ... Who would name their kid Dick?

---

Dick, give him escrima stick: go, get revenge. Go feral.

Young, blood lust, Dick: holy justifiable revenge Batman!

[chiefcosm]

The biggest sin in that game is that I can't dating this freak skeleton man

[percy-thrills-thrillington]

"The thing you must remember is that I'm the number one John Lennon fan. I love him to this day and I always did love him." - Paul McCartney

[dcxdpdabbles]

Bruce: What do you do if you wake up to one of your wards standing over your sleeping body, checking your heart rate while holding an Anti-creep stick?

Barry: Im going to take a wild guess here and ask: Was that Danny?

Bruce: Yes! He wanted to make sure I wasn't a vampire.

Clark: Where was Dick?

Bruce: Digging a hole.

Diana: Why was he digging a hole?

Bruce: In case I turned out to be a vampire, they needed somewhere to hide the body after Danny killed me.

Hal: Spooky, I mean this in the nicest way possible, but I think those kids you took in are a danger to the public.

Bruce: They're good kids! Dick is just going through a lot with his parents being killed in front of him and Danny.....well, Danny escaped a lab that his parents sold him off to. Both of them are having some trust issues right now and are acting out. That's all.

Clark: Bruce, last week Danny broke into my apartment and held me at knife point demanding to know what my intentions were with you. He wouldn't accept that we're coworkers.

Bruce: He probably thought you were a vampire. Danny doesn't like those.

Hal: Didn't Dick break into your house too Barry?

Barry: Yeah, but that was more so he could cuddle with Wally then to make threats at me. Danny, on the other hand, showed up at three am. after rumors about Batman and Flash sleeping together went around. He threatened to cut the muscles in my legs so I could be " The fastest crawler in the world" if I didn't offer Bruce a ring by morning.

Bruce: Why is this the first I'm hearing about that?

Barry: *shrug* I figured you knew since the next day you showed up and apologize for the boy's behavior.

Bruce: I did not know. I was apologizing for him breaking into what I assumed was to see Wally while grounded like Dick. Great, now the boy is going to kill me in my sleep and/or ensure I never get a lover again.

Diana: I think it's rather sweet. Danny is placing a challenge for your would-be suitors. It's like a wolf pup attempting to scare away mates from his father. No real harm was done.

J'onn: He set me on fire.

Bruce: What? Why?

J'onn: Apparently, my eyes were on your back for too long. I was admiring your cape, but Danny believed my eyes were focused too low, and I was instead admiring your bottom. Dick threw glitter in my eyes a few hours later.

Bruce: *sigh* Danny is overly protective, and Dick does whatever his big brother tells him to. I don't know what to do anymore.

Oliver: Tell him you're a vampire but like a sluty one that feeds on lust instead of blood. He'll get scared and leave your dates alone.

Bruce: That's an incubus. What you just describe is an incubus. Also, that's a terrible plan. I would be in a hole so fast.

Hal: Yeah, but they would cry while they buried you so there's that at least

[moonyswarmsweaters]

James: i'm paying for the person behind me, can you tell them that i think they’re hot?

fast food worker: okay?

Regulus: *drives up to the window*

fast food worker: your food was paid for by the guy ahead of you. he thinks that you're hot

Regulus: *rolls his eyes and smiles* he's my husband

[alpali]

Atsumu cries at every heartfelt act you do for him. It doesn’t matter what it is.

You could give him a rock and say it reminded you of him and he’s damn near in tears.

Or if you call him over the phone and say you’re coming over with his favorite food. He’s trying to muffle his whimpers.

He just loves you so much and even though he teases you so so much for your sappy acts, he loves it all way too much.

So you can only imagine his reaction when you write him a letter for your guys anniversary. Gifting him a basket full of things and memories throughout your relationship.

He’s quiet for quite some time and it worries you that he didn’t like it. But it’s the exact opposite he loves it. When you hear his sniffles, you’re snapping your head towards him, brows pulling together.

“Sumu? What’s wrong?” You rush to his side, rubbing his back but he cries more.

“I jus’—”

He hiccups.

“I love you s’much. M’gonna marry you I swear.” He pouts, staring at you with his big shining eyes.

You laugh and it kind of embarrasses him but he doesn’t care.

“I love you.” He says again, pulling you into a bone crushing hug. You soothe his hair as he holds you and calms down.

“I’ll be waiting then.” You smile, hugging him just as tight.

[bobaenjoyer]

who gave odysseus permission to be so "oh my gawd penelope stawp i'm so petite and don't want to get my toes wet" right after going on his villain arc? and why did he eat it up as well?

"...captain why are you kicking your feet and giggling" - eurylochus at some point probably

[emacrow]

The civilization trapped in an ice meteorite.

Superman, after saving the earth from another earth ending bomb, breeze through space, were glowing clouds of gas and dust known as a planetary nebula floated around aimlessly with glowing green dwarf particles as if a solar system was sucked into, but there only lays a sun and 7 planets here before before something caught his eye.

A pusling aimlessly floating ball like metorite full of frozen white ice with green dipped in the bottom in the middle of space. The pulsing glow flickers like a couple of very slow heartbeats.

Superman used his x ray vision to see inside, and what he saw immediately immediately griped the ice and speed flew over through back to the Watchtower which was not far from here.

Superman spoke in the coms of his oxygen mask to the Watchtower.

"Open the space entrance gates, and someone calls in Beatriz Da Costa. I found a floating town trapped in metorite ice with what seems civilians' insides." Superman spoke in the coms as he pushed the metorite carefully toward the watchtower, unaware of the gigantic glowing transparent being with 8 neon green eyes staring at him wrapped around the ice metorite like a Serpent to it's eggs.

[bruciemilf]

Jason: I’d fold Batman like a paper towel.

Duke: So why don’t you want to fight with Bruce, then?

Jason: Are you on crack?

[destialpal]

Neil Josten got kissed by Andrew Minyard and proceeded to follow him around like a love sick puppy for the rest of time it seems