#JASON WAS ON VACATION

[queen-of-weird-girlboy-nation]

Reyna: it’s been so hard to do everything when you went missing. This camp is really hard to run with 2 people, imagine only 1. Octavian was trying to usurp power, the whole quest was a paper work nightmare and I missed you so so much and-

Jason: so at CHB I learned to crochet and made you this :D (plush puppy)

[tiger-grace]

Interviewer: as a father of many adopted kids from different social backgrounds than your own, what do you have to say about the concept of nature vs. nurture?

Bruce Wayne: well I love all my kids dearly and I’ve tried my best to see that they grown up responsibly so let me tell you-

(News plays footage of Dick swinging on the chandelier at a gala last week)

Bruce: let me tell you I’m just about nurturing a fucking headache at this point

[angry-neverland]

Sometimes I like to sit and think about the absolute culture shock it must have been for Bruce Wayne to go from the chaos of one Richard "I will put down Tony Zucco with my bare hands" Grayson, to 11 years old Jason who physically embodies this image:

[blueboybot]

Can You Hold This For Me?

Jason is enamored as he watches a beautiful red head lady beat the shit out of the mugger that got too close for her liking.

He was on his way to the local book store to find a good read when he saw a woman with her month old baby being stalked by a man who was obviously hiding a knife in his pocket. Jason immediately crossed the street to put himself between them and the mugger when all of a sudden the man got a little closer and the woman executed a perfectly good roundhouse kick to the man's head while keeping her baby secure.

After the man's body bounced in the alley and hit a trash can she turned to Jason with a brilliant smile that did something to his resurrected heart.

"Can you hold this for me?" She asked before simply putting the baby in Jason's arms before he could reply.

She then proceeded to pick the man up, who was twice her size, and flung him further into the alley before running up to finish her beat down.

A noise brought his attention from the woman to the baby in his arms who was now up and cooing at him curiously.

"Your mom's hot."

[charlietheepicwriter7]

When Mr. Lancer got promoted to Vice Principal, the school hired a new English teacher, an out-of-towner who wasn't phased by all the ghost stuff. For the first assignment of the year, he asked them to write a paper on any Shakespeare play they'd ever read.

The Monday after the paper was due, Mr. Todd asked Danny to stay after class. Danny frowned; he thought he'd done really well on the paper! He turned it in early and everything!

The teacher waited until everyone had left before asking, "Kid? Is everything okay at home?"

On the desk lay his paper, titled: "Why I Should Totally Kill My Godfather: An Essay About Shakespeare's Hamlet, I Swear".

[mammutblog]

jason at the beach eating a watermelon

[flamingpudding]

Substitute City Ghost

Clockwork had a plan. Their young king needed to learn how to take care of people without the kind of hero like fighting he did in Amity Park. There was a lot to learn for the young halfa and his king classes could only cover so much. Thus he had found a plan that would give his king the perfect learning expirence while also helping out his recently new friend. Well not that new since his friend was quite an old ghost of their own. But he had only recently made direct contact with her.

Lady Gotham was an old and powerful ghost. Born from the beliefs of her city and strengthened by the once living and protecting it. But she was stretching herself thin. Managing her city, helping the dead find their way, looking out for the shades, and protecting the weaker entities, was already a lot of responsibilities for a city ghost. But Lady Gotham has added more to her plate, supporting those that protect her city. Mortals that she called her knights. Aiding them by controlling the shadows, guiding those that need help toward them, or the other way around, guiding her knights to those that needed help. She was strong, but even a ghost like her could grow exhausted. His friend needed rest and recharge. Surely Lady Gotham wouldn't say no if he invited her to a vacation to the Realms, and in that same invitation, he would direct his king to his new hands on training.

The bats and birds knew something was different about Gotham lately. It was strange and slightly unsettling. The change felt like it had just happened overnight. They were suspicious, wondering if they were sensing one of their rogues planning something big. Jason and Duke appeared to sense it the most.

At first, it didn't appear to be too big of a problem, but then strange things started to happen. Their rogues started tripping over, seemingly nothing. And if that wasn't enough it appeared like their rogues were a whole lot more inattentive to their surroundings. Now the Bats and birds were good at sneaking, but they had human limits. Yet there were times they snuck up on them like they weren't even seen.

Dick swore that one of the goons had stared at him and didn't see him, even though he had tried to pull the tap their shoulder and greet them before punching them act. The guy had turned around and stared at him before looking around like no one was even there until he punched the guy anyway.

And that wasn't even the weirdest part. Bullets, throwing knives or anything aimed and thrown at them never hit their marks. Not for the lag of them dodging but for the things they were sure they shouldn't have been able to react in time for. Tim espacially had pointed out that a bullet should have hit him once but it never even graced him. Yet when he checked the place after the arrest. There had been a clear bullet hole in the wall where he had been.

They weren't sure if it was a blessing or a curse. They had even tried to get a member of the Justice League Dark to look into it. But strangely enough Constantine had refused to even set foot into Gotham for once, and even insisted that the other do not either.

To say that Batman was not amused would have been a very big understatement. The man was brooding. And of course Dick had to jinx them too. The eldest bat kid had to mention that it at least wasn't getting worse.

And don't you know it. It got worse. Like weirdly alarming strangely worse.

Because, how else would you define it when you're in the middle of a briefing with your patrol partner for the night when suddenly a Lazarus Pit look alike portal opens below your feed swallowed you up and the freaking drops you into the middle of a crime scene or mugging.

It was only thanks to their training that they were able to react quickly enough after a bound of disorientation. But fuck did that gave them all a good damn heart attacks when that happened the first time to Damian of all people.

Something was definitely wrong with their city. Thankfully they had some sort of hint, because the first time the Pit portal happened to Duke, he claimed that he saw a white haired figure right before it had swallowed him hole and spit him out at a bank robbery.

Danny was honestly believing he was doing a good job as substitute city spirit while Lady Gotham was enjoying her vacation. Sure , he still had trouble with some things, but he was sure he was getting the hang of the whole supporting the cities vigilantes gig Lady Gotham had going on. The whole managing the shades and the dead spirits was still up in the air, though. But at least he had figured out a way easier way to guide the vigilantes towards the once that needed help.

Now he just needed to figure out what was wrong with that one guy in the red helmet and he was sure that both Clockwork and Lady Gotham would be proud of him and how he had managed her city during her vacation.

[bruciemilf]

Thinking about the Batkids being clingy to Bruce.

Do you ever get that untamable tsunami of tears when you're apart from your parent? Even if you fight, and argue, and resent eachother sometimes, but when they're not next to you you feel like a part of you is missing?

It's like that.

Dick cries after Bruce every single night when he moves to Bludhaven. They're both trapped in a game of who'll call first, despite knowing very well neither of them will.

Yes, he's crushing it as Nightwing. Yes, he's doing what Bruce thought him to do, -- be better than Batman. Yes, he's perfectly normal about his Tati being so far away from him. He is.

Jason? Jason misses Bruce when they're in the same room together. He'll sit awake in the breath of night, his phone in hand, crying after Bruce after a single day.

This is for the angst side.

On the other side, Jason who begs Bruce to let him join Diana on this year's Amazonian Olympics, and having to pretend he's not crying in his pillow every night? Please.

Bruce: Are you having fun?

Jason, sending a puffy eyed selfie, looks like he cried all night: You're not here, so yes

[fcthots]

Jason Todd would want you to take pictures of his face between your legs.

He'd want you to make sure that you have the flash on and have your other hand buried in his hair. Multiple pictures too. One with his face completely buried in your folds. One with his eyes drunkenly locked on you. Another after you tug his face away, hand still in his hair, with glassy half open eyes and slick all over his mouth.

If you send him the pictures when he's out of the house and busy, he'll drop whatever he's doing to get to take some more. And if you send him a video of you touching yourself to the pictures? He will go 100 in a 35 to see you and get to watch you.

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Actor Au!

Where Batman and Co. are the most popular TV series and they’re currently filming Jason’s death.

Only Bruce goes so deep into acting he breaks down for real upon the part where he arrives at the warehouse and digs through the rubble for his child.

[damianbugs]

4am and im thinking about a time travel/time loop au where jason is reliving his death over and over again. its been years since that day in ethiopia, and more than terror — jason is tired. he sees this same event, word for word, metal against bone, blood in his mouth every day of his life. reliving it is no different than seeing it every time he closes his eyes.

until, he notices that the jokers smile growing wider and more sinister might not just be his imagination. then the third, or fourth time the day starts again, the joker changes the script. he can't help but adlib an extra insult in between the torture, too high with power and glee.

and all of a sudden jason is revitalised. in just one second, it's no longer I'm stuck in this horrifying time loop, it's We're in this time loop and I'm not stuck with you — you're stuck with me.

jason discovers new ways to torture (hyperbolically and literally) the joker now that he knows they're stuck in this impossible infinity together for a unforeseeable stagnant future. it starts as a game, only because the joker hasn't yet realised jason's the only one playing. it's too late when he realises that jason can do whatever he wants, because the day resets no matter what, and they'll see each other and jason will be ready with a new way to get his vindication.

very quickly, jason looks forward for the day to start again. he's still got 42 plans against the joker he wants to enact, and he doesn't think his thirst for revenge it yet quelled.

except — a couple miles away, someone else keeps waking up too. this is his worst nightmare come alive. the universe knows no bounds of cruelty and he's barely hanging on to the thread. what is this, the fifteenth, twentieth time he's been forced to relive this horrible day? he can't do this anymore. he's always too late.

bruce can never save jason.

[tiger-grace]

I think Alfred is constantly dreaming about retirement but is shackled by the knowledge that he is the glue holding this barely functional family together

Alfred: sir I really don’t think

Bruce: why not. why should I not invest millions into funding a therapy corporation that Jason will ACTUALLY be able to trust

Alfred: quite honestly sir I think if it says “wayne” on it he’s 10 times less likely to go

Tim and Damian kicking the hell out of eachother rolling around on the floor: (unintelligible screaming, glass breaking, various cartoon crashing sound effects)

Alfred: (stares into batcamera like he’s in an office episode with several decades worth of exhaustion)

[littlefankingdom]

I knew that Bruce was full of anger as a young teen, always starting fights at school, but I learnt today that he also:

Burnt his teacher's front yard after being asked a question that triggered him.

Was obsessed with toy guns and wanted to go gun down criminals, which led to Gordon taking him on a trip to Arkham (not as a prisoner, but as a "Wanna finish like this???")

Poisoned a classmate and locked him in the boiler room to die (he didn't and Bruce was expelled) after Alfred told him to be less physical and more smart at stopping bullying.

And this was before he was 15. People must have thought he was going to become a serial killer.

Anyway, I need fics where his kids learn this OR have to deal with "violence is not the question, it's the answer" small Bruce.

[nelkcats]

Family Trip

Danny loved her, like a sister, a daughter or something in between, but Ellie was happy as long as he was there to take care of her. She felt protected but couldn't stay forever.

She had already explored the whole world, and as interesting as the Infinite Realms seemed in reality they didn't interest her that much. Ellie was sure she needed to go further, but she didn't know how to let Danny know. So she simply told him straight out, that the universe they were in was no longer enough for her.

Danny accepted it, and told her that there were many other universes that she could explore, he told her that Clockwork had told him about some of them. Ellie was excited, she could travel more, but for the first time she hesitated, and realized that she didn't want to travel alone.

She asked Danny if he wanted to travel with her and he gave her the flattest look in existence.

"Obviously I'm going to travel with you" he said. And that was that. No discussion, no questions asked.

They both packed a couple of backpacks as if they were going hiking and asked Clockwork. He just tossed them Dan's thermos before offering them a method of travel. Danny frowned but opened the thermos anyway and dragged Dan with them as he yelled about injustices and upset families.

They ended up in Gotham, in front of a man with a helmet and a guy dressed as a stoplight. Danny waved and asked them for a chat (he probably wanted to ask for directions) while Dan sulked in the back. Ellie looked at the architecture curiously.

Unfortunately for Danny, the stoplight guy pulled out a sword and the helmet guy pulled out a gun. They both looked tense as they looked between the three of them. Danny frowned (his green eyes glinting with annoyance) before nodding towards Ellie and Dan and disappearing.

Thus began their vacation in a world where everyone wanted to shoot them; Danny felt at home, Dan wanted to steal an exotic candy called crypto-something and Ellie was happy to explore.

Their family trip had officially begun.

[onnahu]

Batkids in Metropolis

For context: they have sunglasses on, bc it's Metropolis, and they're fucking Gothamites AND bats so...

Cass: It's so...

Cass: It's so bright here.

Duke: Right? How can anyone live here?

Steph *putting on second pair of sunglasses*: Oh man, it gives me flashbacks.

Tim: Wtf, Steph. Flashbacks to what?

Jason: To death. Duh.

*Steph and Jason high-five*

Dick *just wanted a break from Bruce's bullshit*: Sometimes I hate you so much. Why do everything have to be a death joke to you?

Steph: I don't know what you're talking about...

Steph: I'm dead sirious.

Duke: 1/5, unoriginal.

Steph: Hey!

Damian's home bc he's grounded. He skipped school again. Jason and Tim paughed at him and he's now plotting revenge.

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 111

Y’all know H2O? Where some people get cursed to turn into merfolk whenever they get water on them? That, but replace water with ectoplasm and merfolk with naga. 

No, Bruce has no idea how they managed to get cursed or how he ended up with an armful of baby snake-person creature thing. At least this one isn’t black-hair and blue-eyes so his kids can’t complain at him. And it’s not his fault they all fell into this, this was supposed to be a vacation while Lucious, Alfred, and Gordon kept an eye on things back in Gotham. 

On the bright side, his children want to snuggle up for once, which he supposes is nice. And Damian seems pleased about it judging by his rambles about snakes. So there’s that.