#Source: The Big Bang Theory

[incorrectbatfam]

Jason: I'd like to address Dick's's annoying personal habits.

Dick: Oh my God! What personal habits?

Jason: I have a list. FYI, overuse of the phrase "Oh my God" is number twelve.

[incorrectstarwarsquotess]

Ahsoka, about Anakin: What’s wrong with him?

Obi-Wan: Everyone has a different theory.

[raphael-angele]

Solangelo Sleepover (feat Percy cuz it's his turn to babysit)

Nico: Hey, I found something

Percy: What is it?

Nico: Oh, just Will in a campus personality pageant

Percy: WHAT?!

Will: *tries to snatch away the tablet*

Percy: PLAY IT!

Tablet:

7 year old Will wearing a cowboy hat very sparkly gold tuxedo: Hi, I'm William Andrew Solace from Austin, Texas!

Nico, laughing: You look like neon yellow highlighter!!

Baby Will: And you should pick me for Mr Campus because *sings and dance* I am your sunshine. Your only sunshine. I make you happy when skies are grey. You'll never know dear how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away! *smiles*

Percy: PLAY IT AGAIN! PLAY IT AGAIN!!!

---

Nico, to Will: Why did you never tell us you were in beauty pageants?!

Will: Cuz it's embarrassing

Nico, laughing: It is, it really is

Will: Yeah, well, Percy writes Studio Ghibli fanfiction about himself and Annabeth and posts it on the internet

Nico: (º〇º) ... (⚆⩌⚆)...no..

Percy: WHY?! WHAT DID I DO?!

Will: I'm sorry, I had to get the spotlight off me and tearing down other people was part of my pageant training.

[daddiesdrarryy]

Sirius: It’s Reggie, he says they’re running late. Harry threw up on James and then James threw up on James

Remus: Well, he didn’t throw up on the baby. That’s a win

[incorrect-stardew-quotes]

Farmer: That's it? One thing doesn't go your way and your solution is to give up?

Shane: I'm not giving up!

Shane: But, on an unrelated note, i'm never leaving my bed again.

[of-many-incorrect-quotes]

Jake: *after meeting Y/N for the first time* Our children will be smart and beautiful

Bradley: Not to mention imaginary

[gothamundernightlight]

Incorrect Batfam Quotes

*Dick is drunk and uncooperative

Dick: I have a secret.

Jason: What secret?

Dick: I wouldn’t tell you the secret! Shhh!

Jason: What secret? Tell me the secret!

Dick: Alfred smokes in the car. Jesus is okay with it, but we can’t tell Bruce!

Jason: Not that secret, the other secret!

Dick: I’m Batman!

Jason: Oh my god, you aren’t!

Dick: I WAS!!!

[overheard-at-hogwarts]

James: Padfoot made it very clear that my allegiance should be to male comrades before women who sell their bodies for money.

Remus: ...Is it possible he actually said, "bros before hoes"?

James: Yes, but I rephrased it to avoid offending the hoes.

[incorrect-bridgerton-family]

Daphne: How do you feel about children?

Eloise: They’re okay, I guess. I mean, if I saw one, I wouldn’t throw a rock at it.

Daphne: Wh-why would you throw a rock at a child?!

Eloise: I just said I wouldn’t!

[tupayapsina]

[finding a lost dog]

Ruby: I think he looks like someone's pet. Maybe we should put up posters

Weiss: Yeah, it should have a big picture of him and the words "Is this your dog? Not anymore."

[niiwa-angel]

Superman, sitting down at the Watchtower Cafe table: I'm worried about Batman.

Green Lantern: we're all a little worried about Batman.

Superman: No I mean, since Nightwing moved out for college.

Aquaman: Oh, I thought you were just making a generalization.

Flash: yeah like, I'm worried about Batman someday setting off a low yield nuclear device because the cafeteria ran out of lime jello.

Superman: I think Batman really misses Nightwing.

Green Lantern, leaning over to Aquaman: lend him Garth for the weekend.

Superman: he got a cat to keep him company.

Flash: you're kidding.

Superman: he takes it everywhere. To bed, to the bathroom-

Flash: he takes the kitty to the potty?

Aquaman, to Flash: Dude, we talked about this.

Batman, walks by the cafeteria table holding a cat.

Batman: gentlemen.

All, awkwardly: hey.

Green Lantern: Batsy, you gonna introduce us to your little friend?

Batman: apologies. Gentlemen I'd like you to meet Dr. Robert Oppenheimer.

Flash, Green Lantern, and Aquaman: hi, hello.

Batman: now if you'll excuse me, the father of the atomic bomb wants a saucer of milk.

Exit Batman and Dr. Robert Oppenheimer.

Green Lantern: Okay, I get it we're worried about Batman

[incorrectbatfam]

[finding a lost dog]

Jon: I think he looks like someone’s pet. Maybe we should put up posters.

Damian: Yeah, it should have a big picture of him and the words "Is this your dog? Not anymore."

[incorrectstarwarsquotess]

Anakin: *causes an explosion*

Ahsoka: Aren’t you gonna ask?

Obi-Wan: What is this, my first day?

[mamaspidershit]

Peter: How do you feel about children? Natasha: They’re okay, I guess. I mean if I saw one, I wouldn’t throw a rock at it. Peter: Why would you throw a rock at a child?! Natasha: I just said I wouldn’t??

[natashasnoodle]

Wanda: Are you upset you don’t get to be on the same team as Yelena?

Natasha: Have you ever played a game with Yelena?

Wanda: No…

Natasha: Have you ever been trapped in a cage with a wolverine?

Yelena, chasing Y/n across the compound: I SAID FASTER! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORD “FASTER” MEANS? IT MEANS MORE FAST!

Wanda, staring wide-eyed: Are you gonna help your girlfriend?

Natasha, shrugging: She'll be fine

[mackerel22]

Dazai: Last night I had a dream that you and I bought matching side by side mansions.

Dazai: But there was a secret tunnel connecting your front yard to my back yard.

Chuuya:

Dazai: What do you think it means?

Chuuya:😶