My favourite little x men thing is when someone is like "Give up, Magneto! You stand no chance against this plastic weapon/gun/suit I have built!"
And Magneto is like "I see. Whatever will I do."
and throws the surrounding infrastructure at them.
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When my nephew was four, a friend of the family passed away. The man was in his 90s and died of natural causes, and we were going to the funeral. We sat my nephew down and explained who this was, and that he had passed away, and now we were going to a sort of quiet party to celebrate him, and that there he might see the gentleman in the casket, and he might be very still, because he had died, but that everything was alright.
My nephew contemplated this calmly for a few minutes, and then said, "I think he will be very flat."
What.
It turns out that at age four, my nephew's only real context for death was roadkill, which he frequently pointed out while we were driving. He therefore believed that the only way anyone died was getting run over by a car.
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I am loudly pushing the batdad agenda i am loudly pushing the— DPxDC Prompt
“Woah. You look like shit."
Granted, that’s probably not the first thing Danny should be saying to the guy that just bit the curb, but in his defense; he’s not running on 100% right now either.
The man -- tall, towering, and broader than Danny is tall -- whips around on his heel, black frayed cape flaring out impressively. Danny would've whistled in appreciation, but he takes the time instead to wipe the back of his hand across his mouth, smearing the blood running from his nose across his cheek.
"Sorry." He blinks widely, not even flinching as the man with the horns zeroes in on him. "That was rude of me. I have a really bad brain-to-mouth filter; Sam says its what always gets me into trouble."
And she's not wrong either, per say. His smart mouth is what landed him in this situation -- with blood blossom extract running through his veins and cannibalizing the ectoplasm in his bloodstream. Thanks Vlad.
The man grunts at him; a short, curt "hm" that shouldn't make Danny smile, but he does because he's somewhat delirious and probably concussed. The man keeps some kind of distance, sinking towards the shadows of Gotham's alleyway like he dares to melt right into it.
If it's supposed to scare Danny, it doesn't work. Danny's never been afraid of the dark; he's always been able to hide himself in it. He blinks slowly at the mass of shadows.
"You look hurt." The shadows says, blurring together around the edges. Danny squints, and licks his lips to get the blood dripping down his chin off. Ugh, he hates the taste of blood.
"I am." He says, "My godfather poisoned me. M'dying." The agony of the blood blossom eating him from the inside out looped back around to numbing a while ago, so all he feels is half-awake and dazed.
"Hey," Danny stumbles forward towards the man, a bloodied hand reaching out to him. "You-- you're a hero, right? You're not attacking me; which is more than I can say for most costumed people I've met." Maybe it's a poor bar to judge someone at, but he's already established that Danny's not in his right mind.
The man makes no change in expression, but Danny realizes blearily that it's hard to tell with the shadows on his face. He stays still long enough for Danny to latch onto the cape -- stretchy, but almost soft under his fingers.
He looks up blearily into the whites of the man's eyes. "Can you help me? I don't-- I don't wanna die." Again. He doesn't wanna die again. He blinks slow and lizard-like. "I mean- I'll probably get to see mom and dad again, but I told them I'd at least try and make it to adulthood."
There's a clatter down the street, and Danny's ghost sense chills up his spine and leaves a bitter, ashy taste in his mouth. He immediately knows who it belongs to even before the deceptively gentle; "Daniel?" echoes down the way.
"Daniel? Quit your games, badger, Gotham is dangerous for children."
Danny's mouth pulls back, and blood spills against his tongue. "Please." He rasps, and grabs onto the shadow's cape with both hands. "Please. He's going to kill me. Please--"
"Daniel? Is that you?"
His lips part, dragging in air to plead with the darkness again. He doesn't need to, the whites of his eyes narrow, and the cape whirls around him before Danny can blink. Soon swaddled in shadows, the Night lifts him up, and steals him away.
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We all know how flustered Battinson would be as a first time dad, but can you imagine him when half the rogue roster AND JL members come to them after Jason gets adopted?
Naturally, they assume he’s Bruce’s biological kid. And chaoes quickly comes knocking.
Harvey is VERY ready to be a dad. Too ready. “Don’t even worry about it, even if we’ve had our problem, OBVIOUSLY I’m the father, and I’ll be there every step of the way.”
“What.”
“There’s no need to hide the truth, Bruce, I’m not mad. I’ll be the best dad I can be. I won’t even let Two Face show him how to shoot a gun.”
“I already know how to do that :D”
“WHAT?”
“What did I tell ya?” The seamless switch is blink-and you miss it, but not for Bruce’s sharp eyes. TF just grins, switchblade sharp, ruffling at Jason’s hair, “That IS my boy.”
Clark sheepishly approaching Bruce one day, sitting down at the JL cafeteria table. His handsome face fashioned a bare earnestness which only confuses Bruce MORE.
“Hey. So, we should probably talk about Jason, right?”
“What.”
“I’m really sorry if I did something that made you feel like you couldn’t tell me. But I’m ready to step up. So when should I move in?”
“We haven’t slept together, Clark.”
“Bruce, I think I’d know my kid when I saw him.”
Hal can’t take this anymore. “HE’S A MAN?” He pauses, “Also, why am I not questioned? I could be the baby daddy! I could SO be the baby daddy!”
“Go away, Hal.”
“Yeah ok.”
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So normal about Jon being like I don’t remember what you looked like but the man who let you die is going to suffer for what he did to you. If only Sasha coulda seen that.
So normal about Jon being like you died hating me and wanting me dead but I’m still gonna make sure this man knows I’m ending him in your name. Sure wish Tim coulda seen that.
So normal about the fact that everyone believed Jon was losing his humanity but no one got to see the ways his love and compassion for the people he lost or who hurt him drove him to that final moment.
So normal about the fact that even after everything Jonah’s done to Jon, the only person he never thinks to get justice for is himself.
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DP headcannon where instead of Danny knowing all dead languages he gains a teeny tiny amount of the language of somebody who’s died. Like if a Latin person died guess what Danny knows a few Latin words now. And this stuff stacks so if a (very terrible) event happens he could potentially learn entire languages with slang, accent, sayings- the whole package.
Anyways he’s trying to explain to Superman that he’s not kryptonion.
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