#Wayne Banks

[bruciemilf]

"Oh har har Gotham is terrible to Joker and that's why he acts the way he does," Gotham worships a hot topic furry with the mental stability of a soggy cracker and thinks a 10 year old vigilante is perfectly normal

[minimightymina]

Exactly how much of a bank did Bruce buy at the end of dawn of justice?

Did he buy the single Smallive town bank?

Did he buy one location out of a chain?

Did he buy the whole chain?

Did he bury Martha’s signal loan forgiveness deep in the papers of the bank “misplaced” in the takeover?

Did he bury it by forgiving multiple loans with the same criteria?

Did he forgive every bankruptcy?

Did he just say “congratulations, no more mortgage for you” to everyone?

Exactly how many lives where changed because of Bruce’s “my bad, pls like me” gift

[spacedace]

Since I have the first three chapters of the next installment of the House of Elle series more or less finished and I'm going to start posting stuff soon(ish), here be a few out memes for things going on in this one 😄

(The corrupted text on the second to last one is intentionally unreadable, it just says "Eldritch Text Because Spoilers" because, you know, spoilers haha)

[introspectivememories]

bernard: okay i'm going

tim: hey, be safe, alright?

bernard, lovingly: i will

jason turning towards damian, mockingly: be safe!

damian, hands over his heart: i'll be so safe

tim, embarrassed: will you guys stop. stop. im going to kill you

dick, who just entered the room: but how would that keep us safe?

[quillium]

Bruce Wayne has anxiety and that’s everyone’s problem: Part 2, Electric Boogaloo

Bruce worrying that he doesn’t know the most inane things. Think whatever the opposite of BBC Sherlock is

Bruce: I don’t know the name of every single yellow flower in the world. This is horrible and the most stupid mistake in the world Alfred, who is Done: Master Bruce it literally does not even matter. Can you please just finish your peas

Bruce: I don’t know how to cultivate a garden. What if there’s an apocalypse that forces me to be self-sustaining and I can’t even garden without the internet Alfred: I guess it’s a good thing you have so much free time and we have a massive garden that can be used for gardening

Bruce making a massive self-sustaining greenhouse with unbreakable glass JUST IN CASE. The Gotham food bank gets so much fresh produce that they somehow have excess food to give to other branches in other cities

Bruce getting so overwhelmed by the thousands of choices he can make that he just shuts down and does absolutely nothing

Bruce inwardly, in his 20s, seeing his freshly adopted 9 year old sneaking out: [I need to stop him or he’ll die. Okay, I can ground him. What if he tries to sneak out the window and falls to his death? Okay, I’ll just explain things to him. 9 year olds haven’t hit puberty and don’t have fully developed brains to understand the consequences so he’ll just ignore me and sneak out and get hit by a car. I’ll promise to do his vengeance for him? No, that wouldn’t have worked when I was young and he’ll STILL sneak out and get shot and die. Even if I do get him to stop it’ll spiral and he’ll never respect or listen to me and he’ll die tragically and--] Bruce outwardly: Yeah I guess you can be Robin, I’ll train you

Bruce going “what if people get mind controlled” in a world where mind control has, to his awareness, NEVER HAPPENED, is exactly what saves the world the first time the Justice League gets mind controlled. Clark is furious for a whole week afterwards

Bruce, mockingly: Oh, mind control is impossible, Batman, it’s never happened, Batman, you don’t need to figure out how to destroy us all and be so paranoid, Batman-- Clark, sticking lead in his ears: I GET IT BRUCE I’M SORRY FOR BEING SULKY ABOUT THE KRYPTONITE PROTOCOL

Bruce tricking his children into thinking this kind of behaviour is not only normal but justified because it HAS, in fact, saved the world multiple times

Bruce, sixty levels of anxiety and paranoia: Me and my children are normal Diana: Y’all have anxiety is what you have. Take a good look at yourself

Part 1

[baambastic]

For all the talk UtRH gets about where on Jason’s body Bruce was trying to hit with the Batarang (throat, shoulder, side of the neck, etc.), especially about hitting his throat, I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone bring up that Bruce banked the shot off a pipe behind Jason, making it literally impossible to hit his throat from such an angle unless Jason turned around (which he didn’t).

As for why he banked the shot at all: the only spot he could have hit from a straight shot would have been Jason’s face.

[webshood]

i feel a little unhinged today so i wanna share a little something with y'all :)))

imagine this scenario, so Batman and the JL accidentally going to another earth, it looks exactly like their earth, but there's small details that change everything about this world

one of them is that there's no Batman, the Martha and Thomas Wayne never died in this earth and thus Bruce never became Batman

this earth's Bruce is cheerful, genuinely happy, he's in a relationship with Clark after they meet at a Wayne gala, they had good chemistry and when Clark asked this Bruce out he accepted it, he's now the Justice League's doctor

Batman has not revealed his identity to his league yet, but he has a crush on Clark to some degree and seeing how happy his counterpart is with their own Supes, leaves a sour taste on his mouth

Batman is not good with romantic relationships, but his heart still aches and he's kinda pissy about the whole situation, trying to go back home as soon as possible, the other JL members with him are a little weirded out about his insistence in coming back as soon as possible and they even send Diana to calm him down

Bruce from this earth notices their tension and decides to host a dinner so they can relax a little bit before going home, because when Batman is antsy everyone else becomes a little antsy too and when this affects his own Supes he sees the need to do something

everyone is eating and chatting away, when Bruce mentions he's turning 35 soon and Batman freezes, he's noticed that Bruce didn't mention Dick or Jason in any point of their conversation (Dick should he turning eighteen and Jason been recently adopted)

so he jumps from his seat and literally steals someone's cellphone and start to look for his children, Dick's parents died, but his boy is nowhere to be found, when he looks for Jason there's only one mention of his baby and it's alongside the news of Willis Todd imprisonment

when he starts to pack up the invisible jet for a trip to Hong Kong so he can kidnap his little girl, Bruce asks him to wait and keep calm, tries to reason with him, about how "You don't even know this children here, this is not your earth"

that's when the illusion falls

no matter how good of a life this bruce has, no matter who he's dating, no matter that he doesn't have the childhood trauma witnessing the death of his parents caused, because even if he's not from this earth, they're still his children. this Bruce might be happy, but Batman wouldn't ever be happy without his children, there's no romantic love that can compare to being utterly bullied by his kids everyday

when the league travels back to their earth, Bruce might be able to try and ask Superman out for a date, but he has to absolutely smother his kids in long and tight bear hugs first, because he can't even imagine life without them

bonus: Batman tracks down every single one of his kids (minus Damian because this earth's Bruce never meet Talia) on that earth and contacts his significant others/exes that are safe enough to raise a kid, but nuts enough to 100% believe that he's from another earth, each of them has their own little kid now

[ghost-bxrd]

OMG LOOK WHAT JUST ARRIVED IN THE MAIL!!!

Fluffy reading times ahead 💚💚💚

[welcometogrouchland]

I like to think that when the batfamily inevitably runs out of money and jobless Bruce, Tim, and Dick* find themselves in financial need, Steph reveals that she's made thousands of dollars taking odd jobs around Gotham City that we just never saw bc Steph hasn't been in a comic for months. Nobody checked in on her and while they weren't looking she made 6 grand babysitting and playing piano at a local theatre. Bruce has to grovel for enough money to buff out a scratch on the batmobile and Steph is revelling in it. This is the closest she's ever going to get to being a supervillain

*(Cass and Jason don't need money to survive on account of being homeless as kids + Babs funds Cass' basic needs and Damian is on his mom's payroll, same w/ duke even if it's obvs not al ghul money)

[lithiumseven]

People getting mad about media in which Batman has a crush on Wonder Woman (because he should only be interested in Superman) as if everyone in their right mind fictional or otherwise shouldn’t also be in love with Wonder Woman

[graveyard-tales]

I have a idea where Jason is shot in the head. It doesn't pierce his helmet but he does go down and does lose consciousness. So Dick and Bruce, who are there and see this happen, shuffle him into the batmobile. Immediately they head for the hospital. The bullet may not have entered his head but that doesn't mean he's not endanger of literally dying. If it's severe, if Jason needs surgery, they'd rather find out among people who can actually perform it.

This is the lead up to my hc that within the batmobile's floor compartment is civilian clothes/id for everyone. This includes a civilian identity Bruce made for Jason. Keeping his first name and his initials while changing his middle and last name. (Something like Jason Pierce Thompson) And a disguise and connecting id for Bruce as the emergency contact for his son.

So Bruce drops off Jason as Batman only for him to immediately ring up Alfred to bring a specific car with plates connected to his identity as he changes and impatiently waits for the hospital to call him. Knowing even when called he'll still have to wait moments to make it believable as possible.

Meanwhile Dick is like "terrified for my brother right now but it's so you to create an id for Jason, even though he has a dozen, just because none of them are connected to you".

Jason is fine, probably, in the end. If I write it, how fine depends on the angst level I'm craving in the moment.

[bruciemilf]

The Batman (2022) wasn’t sexy necessarily but it WAS horny and that’s because of the sheer homosexual force that was Paul Dano’s freak ass Riddler (affectionate)

I’ve come to the conclusion that Batman is sexy, Bruce is not. Bruce is PRETTY. Big difference

[yells-of-the-not-so-danged]

Batman: Gotham War was pretty BAD, but at least we got:

A cool scarecrow

a heartbreaking hug

fashion ✨

Scarface robin 💖💖💖

and the worst Jason face I've ever seen!

all for the low low price of the most poorly written batman I've ever encountered (tho granted i am new-ish to modern comics batman)

(spoilers below, also my descent into insanity)

HOW THE HELL DID THE BANK GET A HOLD OF THE MANOR, DID HIS PARENTS NOT PAY THE MORTGAGE??? EVEN THO THEY'RE *RICH*???????? IS THIS SET UP (poorly because it makes zero sense) IN ONE OF THE EARLIER COMICS??

WHY DID BRUCE-MAN BAT-WAYNE, THE AMN WHO IS AS INFINITELY RICH AS THE WRITERS WANT, NOT THINK, "OH! I'll JUST SET UP A FOUNDATION THAT SPECIFICALLY CATERS TO THE PEOPLE WHO FIND THEMSELVES IN HENCHMEN POSITIONS! I CAN, SINCE I'M BRUCE FUCKING WAYNE, SET UP A PROGRAM WHERE IF THEY ATTENDED SOME CLASSES TO TEACH THEM VALUABLE TRADES THEY CAN RECEIVE SPECIAL WELLNESS CHECKS SO THEY CAN SURVIVE UNTIL THEY CAN GET AN HONEST JOB! THE GOVERNMENT MAY EVEN DECIDE TO HELP FUND IT IF I PHRASE IT LIKE THAT!"

... some writers really do just want to write batman punching people, huh...

(edit: I'm adding more now that i've had a few more minuets to just... let it all sink in...)

LOCK BRUCE UP IN ARKHAM FOR BS HE DID TO JASON HOLY SHIT

CALL CPS FOR DAMIEN BECAUSE YOU KNOW FOR A FACT BRUCE HADN'T BEEN TAKING CARE OF HIM IF DAMIEN FALLOWED HIM HOME

DID HE REALLY JUST MAKE DICK THE DAD NOW??? HELLO??? CPS??? ANY MILDLY SANE THERAPIST??? PLEASE HELP???

also, what is Selina gonna do now?? am i really going to keep reading modern batman comics to find out???

OH GOD I HAVE EVEN MORE TO SAY

BRUCE IS UPSET AT SELINA'S PLAN OF STEALING FROM THE RICH BECAUSE STEALING IS A CRIME AND (most importantly!)

HIS PARENTS WERE RICH!!!!!

i am not being hyperbolic when i say i am screeming. I quite literally am, or was, because this. is. insane. and the more i think about all this the more confused and upset i get because WHAT??? WHAAAAT???? HUHH? WHAT????! I AM GOING FERAL

(please tell me the writers will pull bat-mite out their ass to retcon all this shit please [lease plzzzz )

(who the hell green lit this shit??? is it supposed to be absolutely insane??? is that the arc going on right now????)

WHY was the Vandal Savage plot line needed??? The rogues would have teamed up eventually, they did not need Savage to coordinate that and there could have still been a mole in Selina's crew. Then when the rogues finaly strike the Bats and the Cats could have worked together and then finaly talked things out ( if this was writen by a sane person)

also they kill Ra's Al Ghul of screen?? is he dead for good?? explain??

the more and more i think of this the more unwell i get.

YET ANOTHER EDIT:

it's been a month or two and only now has it hit me...

IS THERE JUST A GIANT LAZARUS PIT ON THE OUTSKIRTS OF GOTHAM NOW??????????

THIS BETTER BE PLOT POINT LATER OR I'M GOING TO RIOT

i also want to acknowledge Salina more; even though this was equally her story i barely talked about her and i am sorry. You deserve so much better Salina, both from me and from Bruce. You had an idea that would be considered good in the context of Gotham and what the writers were willing to humor

( even though had the writers been sane she could have offered my earlier proposal to Bruce, but sadly we don't live in that timeline U_U )

...Hey, how did she survive falling in the newly born Lazarus pit?? was she wounded enough that the pit healed instead of killed?? is that what we're going with here??

[mstrickster]

For you ships: what's one thing one half does that drives the other crazy? Could be crazy with annoyance or crazy with love lol

Thank you for your ask! So, I am going to break this down by fandoms. Enjoy!

The BatFam:

I'm starting with my favorite family of Cryptids. I believe that anyone who's ever been in a relationship with one of the bats has generally the same thing that annoys the crap out of them. In fact, I'm sure there's plenty of things. However, I want to talk about two. The first would be the bats and their paranoia, and the second would be their willingness to throw themselves in the line of fire on TV or with no backup plan that they can admit to having.

Like whoever you ship the bats with you can guarantee that there has been a moment in that relationship where they have had to go and either save them from a villain or save them from falling out of the sky. Only for their bat to go, "I had it."

All of their current and past love interests have so many gray hairs.

Also, to love a bat is to endure their contingency plans. They will have a way to stop you if you turn evil. In fact, they have several, and no, they won't tell you.

On the flip side, I could see the bats being annoyed for the pettiest of reasons.

Like Damian gets annoyed with Jon because he refuses to let him sleep in the barn with the animals...during winter. He also gets annoyed when Jon tries to treat him fragilly. Many arguments have started from that and ended with "IM THE SON OF THE BAT!"

Dick is better. He got most of his gremliness out as a child. However, he will get extremely annoyed if you eat his stash of cereal. Or if you take his siblings' side during an argument.

People do joke that Jason is always annoyed. He isn't, but he also doesn't see a point in hiding his frustration. However, he gets annoyed to death when someone goes into battle unprepared. He is resourceful and will chew people out for getting hurt in a clearly avoidable incident.

Tim is a lot like Jason, where annoyed sometimes feels like his default. However, he only gets annoyed when people talk over him. Or that one time that Bernard told him he couldn't punch his way out of all problems and Conner agreed with him. Tim pouted for like a week. Bernard is constantly annoyed when his boyfriends are late for a dinner date because they stopped a criminal. There's two of them and they both had to get sidetracked? Ridiculous.

Cass doesn't get annoyed, really. Of course, not many people would be brave enough to annoy Cass. Steph can be ridiculous, but Cass usually looks on in fond amusement rather than annoyance. She does love seeing Steph go all superhero mod, though.

MOVING ON!

The Mighty Ducks

Banksway: There are definitely a couple of things that drive Adam crazy with annoyance but also crazy with love at the same time. One thing is when Charlie truly believes something, he will stubbornly follow his beliefs even to the point of ruin. Like I could see Charlie coming out because he is so intent on his feelings for Adam and he's like "I'm not going to fucking hide you!" It's so endearing but but Adam really wishes he would just listen to him. He also gets annoyed with Charlie stubbornness. Especially since a lot of the times if Charlie thinks he's right he will act like he's right. Until he's proven wrong. However if he is proven right he will rub it in Adam's face a little bit. On the flip side when it comes to Adam Charlie gets annoyed that he doesn't always voice how he really feels. Like unless you push Adam to the breaking point, he will conceal; don't feel his way out of most things. It's not that animal won't fight for things it's just that a lot of things you just doesn't see the reason to put in the effort. He's very good at following rules, and Charlie wishes he wasn't.

Gerreau: I don't think there's much that Connie and Guy get annoyed with each other about. It does drive guy crazy with love when he sees Connie do her leadership thing. Like he loves to see her take charge. He doesn't know it but Connie does the same thing with him. She loves to Hype him up and she just adores him. Like he could bake cookies and she would just be so madly in love because he did that. It is truly adorable.

Hazbin Hotel

Now you didn't specify fandoms, so I'm including this one because these are some of my newer ships.

Huskerdust:

Obviously, Husk gets annoyed when Angel is fake. It drives him insane when he tries to hide how he's actually feeling behind his facade. However, it also drives him crazy with love when he gets to see Angel do something he really loves, like dancing. He just gets all warm and fuzzy all over. For Angel, it drives him mad when Husk thinks badly of himself or thinks that he isn't worth redeeming. He gets very passionate and will scream affection at Husk. Saying things like how he is worth more than any of those other lowlives outside the hotel. Then he will hug and cuddle Husk until he agrees with him.

Radioapple:

I feel like a better question is what these two do that doesn't drive the other person crazy. Like Alastor can stand slightly different and Lucifer will think he's doing it to annoy him. Which is exactly what Alastor is doing. They are constantly butting heads, and that's why they work. No one pushes them to outdo themselves like the others! Sometimes, they even push each to be better, if only on accident. They are a disaster, and that's why I love them.

Chaggie:

I don't think it's a big annoyance, but I do feel like Vaggie gets a little annoyed at Charlie's willfulness to trust almost anyone. Vaggie is always on edge if there is even a chance someone will betray them. However, Charlie isn't like that, and it can be frustrating. However, that's also why Vaggie loves her. It drives her insane with love when she sees Charlie tap into all her power and show the world who they are messing with. For Charlie, she kinda gets frustrated with Vaggie's trust issues, but she tries not to express it. She is driven mad with love when she sees her girlfriend fight for the hotel.

Anyways, that is all. Thank you! 😊

[swamiiyasssss]

Ever think about how Batman is technically Bruce's fursona? Yeaaaaaaa.

[oifaaa]

In the Jason raises Bruce and co au, what happens to the Wayne fortune?

I'm not gonna lie I still don't know how it works exactly when a child with a lot of money gets orphaned if the person caring for them would actually be able to access any of those funds, so if Jason isn't, it would happen like in canon with Bruce eventually using them for his own crusade which is probably for the best considering Jason would have tried to get rid of it all just to spite Bruce