#best foods for burning calories

[needyforhelp]

Shedding Pounds and Building Confidence: My Experience with Lean Flux Weight Loss Supplement

For years, I struggled with maintaining a healthy weight. I tried countless diets, exercise routines, and even fad cleanses, but nothing seemed to stick. The frustration was constant, and it started to affect my confidence and overall well-being.

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A Shift in Approach: Discovering Lean Flux

Then, I stumbled upon Lean Flux Weight Loss Supplement. Initially, I was sceptical, having been disappointed by so many other weight loss products. However, the concept of targeting G-Flux, a metabolic process that supposedly aids in building muscle and burning fat simultaneously, intrigued me. After researching the science behind G-Flux and reading positive reviews from other users, I decided to give Lean Flux a try.

First Impressions: Easy Integration and No Side Effects

Lean Flux comes in convenient capsule form, making it simple to integrate into my daily routine. The recommended dosage is two capsules a day, one in the morning and another in the afternoon. I found them easy to swallow, and thankfully, I experienced no unpleasant side effects throughout my usage.

Combining Lean Flux with a Healthy Lifestyle

It's important to note that I didn't rely solely on Lean Flux for weight loss. I adopted a more mindful approach to eating, focusing on whole foods and portion control. I also incorporated regular exercise into my schedule, starting with brisk walks and gradually progressing to light weight training. Lean Flux, I believe, played a crucial role in supporting these lifestyle changes.

Experiencing the Results: Weight Loss and Muscle Gain

Within the first few weeks of using Lean Flux alongside my new diet and exercise routine, I started noticing a difference. The stubborn weight that clung to me for years began to shed. But more importantly, I felt a shift in my body composition. I wasn't just losing weight; I was gaining muscle definition. My clothes started to fit looser, and I had more energy throughout the day.

Improved Performance and Confidence Boost

The newfound strength I gained from building muscle had a positive impact on my workouts. I could lift heavier weights, perform exercises with better form, and push myself further. This translated into a newfound sense of accomplishment and a significant boost in my confidence. I felt stronger, both physically and mentally.

Sustainable Weight Management: Lean Flux as a Long-Term Partner

It's been several months since I started using Lean Flux, and the results have been sustainable. I've managed to maintain a healthy weight without feeling deprived or constantly battling cravings. Lean Flux, for me, has become a long-term partner in my weight management journey. It's a helpful tool that complements my healthy lifestyle choices.

Beyond Weight Loss: A Holistic Approach to Wellbeing

Lean Flux has offered me more than just weight loss. It's helped me develop a healthier relationship with food and exercise. I'm now more mindful of what I put into my body and prioritize activities that make me feel good. This newfound focus on overall well-being has had a positive ripple effect on all aspects of my life.

Would I Recommend Lean Flux? Absolutely!

If you're struggling to lose weight, build muscle, or simply want to support your overall health journey, I highly recommend giving Lean Flux a try. Remember, it's not a magic bullet, but it can be a powerful tool when combined with a healthy diet and exercise routine. Just like it did for me, Lean Flux might be the missing piece you need to achieve your weight loss and fitness goals.

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Disclaimer: It's important to consult with your doctor before starting any new supplement, especially if you have any underlying health conditions.

[usbitnet]

How I lost 20 pounds in 2 weeks: Intermittent fasting and keto

[helpinneed]

Transform your body and reach your weight loss goals with this inspiring and informative video! Discover expert tips, effective exercises, and healthy eating habits to help you shed pounds and achieve the body you've always wanted. Say goodbye to fad diets and hello to a healthier, happier you with this must-watch weight loss video. So, take control of your weight and health with this empowering weight loss video! Get inspired by practical tips, expert advice, and real-life success stories. Start your weight loss journey today and watch as you transform into your best self with this informative and motivational video https://linktr.ee/cyeducate

[softer-rounder-larger-heavier]

How to train yourself to be a good piggy 🐖✨

Hi there lovelies, I thought I’d write up a short guide on the easiest and best way to turn yourself into a total hog in the shortest time possible ✨ why not give it a try?

Always pick the highest calorie option. Add extra butter, cream and sugar to everything you eat, not only will it make you fatter but it’ll taste better as well!

Replace your wardrobe with nice roomy sweatpants and soft shirts. Tight and rigid clothes might be exciting, but you should always have something you can lounge around in where your growth can happen unencumbered. Celebrate every pair of clothing you have to retire!

Keep yourself stuffed and overly full at all times, when you can. Not only will it help you grow faster, but it will also stretch your stomach capacity further and discourage you from doing too much activity that might upset your full tummy. Do this for too long and you may get addicted to the feeling!~

Move as little as possible. Too much exercise burns calories, and you’ll be so uncomfortable as you grow sweatier and sweatier from lugging all that lard around. Instead try to keep food within arm’s reach, and only go out when strictly necessary.

Get lots of sleep! Of course while you’re sleeping you’re not eating, but it also gives your body time to process all that junk you’ve been eating into luscious, soft, heavy fat. Don’t be scared to drift off after a good stuffing!

Drink lots of water to keep yourself hydrated, but for every sip you take drink an equal amount of soda, juice, or if you’re really dedicated, shakes. You’d be pleasantly surprised at how calorie-dense a simple 2 liter of soda is!

Rub your belly often, massaging and letting your hands feel every inch of softness. Associate the feeling with contentedness and joy, and think about how excited you are to be even bigger and softer and how you’ll do anything to make it happen.

Ignore anyone who tries to get you to stop. Only you know what’s best for you, and it’s your body. If you want to be majorly obese, that’s your own decision and not anyone else’s. You’re probably happier than these people anyway!

The most important one, keep from cumming until you’re totally, completely stuffed or have finished all the food you have. You should be training your body to respond to eating with getting horny, and the need to eat until you’re unable to as a prerequisite for release. It’s a powerful association, and will ensure you blow up rapidly in pursuit of that good feeling.

If you follow these instructions, I’m confident any of you can become a fat, sweaty, useless mess within a matter of years~ doesn’t that sound nice, piggy? After all it wouldn’t hurt to give it a try…. Right?

[elicathebunny]

HEALTH SHOULD ALWAYS COME FIRST! PRIORITISING HEALTH BEFORE EVERYTHING ELSE TO LOOK GOOD + FEEL GOOD.

People always leave out the basics when it comes to trying to improve their looks. Prioritising health is so important before going in and tempering with your body. Your base is what you work with and you can definitely level up with what you've got naturally.

DIET

Your diet also depends on what your goals are. Someone who wants to build muscle will obviously eat differently from someone who just eats relatively healthy. So identify what your goals are and work your meals around that.

Here are some videos to give you a better insight: HOW I LOSE FAT AND KEEP IT OFF MEANS, WORKOUTS + EVERYTHING ELSE PROTEIN EXPLAINED, STRENGTH, MUSCLES, FAT LOSS & ENDURANCE HOW METABOLISM WORKS

Diet not only makes you feel better from the inside, but it also reflects on your outside. Your skin is a huge display of how you eat.

When you consume junk food, it can show up on your skin as breakouts or dullness. Your skin is one massive organ which soaks up everything put onto it and reflects everything you put inside your body. Fix the problem from the inside before getting confused about why your skincare routine isn't working.

FITNESS

Again, your fitness will differentiate from your goals. So work out your goals and make a plan around that. There are so many forms of fitness, some more intense than others and with different results. Working out in general is good for you, our bodies are meant to move. So even if you don't have a goal, staying active is always recommended.

HOW TO CREATE THE PERFECT WORKOUT PLAN

THE BEST WAY TO GAIN MUSCLE, SCIENCE EXPLAINED SIMPLY

Low-intensity workouts:

Yoga: Focuses on flexibility, strength, and relaxation through various poses and breathing techniques.

Pilates: A low-impact exercise method that strengthens muscles, improves flexibility, and enhances posture.

Walking: Simple yet effective, walking is a great way to improve cardiovascular health and boost mood without high impact.

Swimming: Provides a full-body workout with minimal stress on joints, making it ideal for people with joint issues or injuries.

High-intensity workouts:

HIIT (High-Intensity Interval Training): Alternates between short bursts of intense exercise and brief recovery periods to maximize calorie burn and improve cardiovascular fitness.

CrossFit: Combines elements of weightlifting, interval training, gymnastics, and other exercises to build strength, endurance, and overall fitness.

Sprinting: Short, explosive bursts of running at maximum effort, often performed in intervals for cardiovascular conditioning and leg muscle strength.

Circuit Training: Involves moving through a series of exercises targeting different muscle groups with minimal rest in between, combining strength training and cardiovascular exercise.

These are just a few examples, but there are plenty of other workout styles out there to explore depending on your preferences and fitness goals. Walking every day is just a simple way to stay toned.

SLEEP

Sleeping is important for rest and recovery after workouts and energy-consuming activities. Sleep is needed for the brain to function, mood regulation and performance + productivity. Lack of sleep deprives you of all of these things, so getting your beauty sleep is absolutely needed.

School-age children (6-13 years): 9-11 hours per day.

Teenagers (14-17 years): 8-10 hours per day.

Young adults (18-25 years): 7-9 hours per day.

Adults (26-64 years): 7-9 hours per day.

HYGIENE

Upkeeping good hygiene is always needed anyway. Making sure you are clean (smelling good is a plus). Make sure you always wash your hands and take daily showers to remove any dirt on your body (clean those feet and your back well, don't forget them!). Taking care of your oral health must not be forgotten. Oil pulling and brushing your tongue for a healthy mouth. Make sure your hair is also getting the attention to keep it as healthy as you possibly can make it (this also depends on diet). Doing the extra things like spending time on your nails (making sure there isn't that stuff underneath them), making them pretty.

BODY CARE ROUTINE | FOR SMOOTH & GLOWING SKIN, TREATING KERATOSIS PILARIS, SHOWER ROUTINE

ENVIRONMENT

Having a stress-free environment is obviously the best to thrive in. But clearly not even being lucky enough to live like that constantly. So make sure you have that space to be on your own and have some alone time to really recharge. Keeping your space clean for a clear mind. Surround yourself with like-minded people and really set boundaries for those who prey on your mental clarity (energy vampires). Spending time in nature is one of the best ways to detach, rest time should not equal spending time on your devices. Let go and truly let yourself decompress. Mental health will improve how you carry yourself.

EMBODY YOUR POTENTIAL.

[gremlinmodetweeker]

Big Guy Big Belly

König is a big man, and with a big man comes a big appetite. We’re talking about a 6’10 man constantly maintaining his peak physique. He needs to be consuming as many calories and as much protein, carbs, fats, fiber and more to keep himself in fit and fighting shape.

At the canteen, he’s a nightmare. I bet that people rush to the cafeteria just to make sure they get something to eat before the big man on base rolls up. He’ll clear out the bins if he gets a chance. There’s a rumour on base that the reason König fought so hard to climb the ranks so quickly was just to be able to eat more and get away with it. Little do they know that they’re absolutely right, but König will never say that out loud. Ever. There’s some secrets you take to your grave. 

Either way, König is a menace in the canteen. He’ll pile his plate as high as he can when he gets a chance. He’s packing away all he can get in the shortest amount of time he can, and everyone has to suffer for it. The worst part is that everyone has to rush to get to the caf before König, and König knows exactly what others are doing, so he’s in a daily race against the entire base to eat his fill. It’s always a photo-finish to see who gets to the cafeteria first.  König currently has been slacking, so he’s not been eating like he normally has. Is he mad? Not really. He’ll clean out the snack cart later. 

He’s a monster late at night. Everyone knows that you need to leave the big man to his snacks, lest you face the wrath of the colossus on base. Well, wrath in a peculiar way. He just gets quiet and angry, but it’s still not a fun experience to try and fight him for a sandwich. If you take the last egg salad sandwich you’ll be at the top of his shit list for the next week. Don’t even think he won’t track you down. He’ll throw around his rank just to get his hands on the poor bastard. Nobody is safe, either.

Stiletto only once took the last pudding cup. Once. She never made that mistake again. For a week he was giving her dirty looks over a cold shoulder as he bumbled down the hall. She eventually had to give in and sacrifice a desert to be able to get back in his good graces. She still thinks he’s a massive bitch because of it. And you know what? She’s right. Everybody knows she’s right, König included, but he’ll keep going after whoever ‘steals’ ‘his’ snacks. They get along a bit better now that they’ve both advanced in rank and worked together, but there was a good period of time where Stiletto had to sleep with one eye open.

It gets a bit better for everyone when König finally finds a partner and doesn’t stay on base so often. Everyone takes a moment to pray for the poor soul who has to cook for König whenever he gets home from deployment.

See, during deployment, König can’t be such a massive bitch about food. He gets his rations, and that’s that. He can’t steal from anybody else, so he gets stuck with these pitiful MREs that barely fill him up. It’s miserable, and he’s losing weight like crazy when on the field. He’s running on fumes and burning calories like crazy as he’s risking his life out there. It’s gotten to a point where König has taken to eating with hostages post-rescue to ‘help them feel safer’ (read: get more food into his gullet). Thankfully, he puts his best foot forward when dealing with victims of trauma and ensures that he has somebody else do all the socializing while he plays with the kids after dinner. Apparently, after the inevitable shower of tears whenever kids have to face König, he becomes pretty popular. They love to use him as a jungle gym (and make fun of him) and he’s just happy to get more to eat. He’ll take being called ‘bigger than even my dad!’, being told ‘you’re weird’ or being asked ‘why are you so big and scary all the time?’ any day for a little extra to eat. He can tolerate a few kids. He won’t ever admit that hanging around them makes him want some kids of his own, or at least not to Horangi, who’s already teasing König about being a surrogate father to the kids. König tells him to keep it to himself, but Horangi is already buying things for the baby shower.

Once König finally comes home, that’s when all Hell breaks loose. This man has been starving and he needs food NOW. He won’t take no for an answer. If you don’t have something prepared, he’ll be ordering a massive order of takeout the likes of which you’ve never seen before in your life. He’ll hit multiple places on his way back to your place if he doesn’t think you’ve been able to get something together for him. If you can’t cook, he won’t even bother telling you to cook for him and just focus on getting a whole banquet of junk food ready for when he arrives home. He brings the pizzas in the door before he even brings in his own bags. You’ll have to go out and grab his bag as he sets up his personal buffet table. The worst part is despite how much he can shove down, he always buys more than he can eat, so you’ve got a couple of days worth of food to shove in the fridge at the end of the night.

If you can cook, this is a multi-day experience. Is it rewarding? Absolutely. Is it painful? Abso-fucking-lutely. He’s got you slaving for hours a day just to get him a nice home cooked meal. You’ll be going all out to get him a big enough meal. We’re thinking a tray of mac and cheese, a whole roast chicken, easily a handful of loaded baked potatoes. If you have something from your traditional cuisine, he’s not picky, he’ll gobble it up in a heartbeat. Knowing you made it for him is more than enough for him. Food is the way to a man’s heart, some say, and König will never let you go if you treat him like the king he is.

The good thing about cooking König such a big meal is that he gives back. He’s not a fan of cooking, but for the next few days he’ll take over cooking and cleaning in the kitchen. It’s just an easy way for him to give back, you know? He can’t thank you enough with words, so why not with actions?

But the best part of König giving back is that he’s an excellent cook. He cooks mostly traditional food from his culture, but he’s down for some french or italian cooking if you’re into it. He can make a mean lasagne. He does not skimp on the cheese, this man. No he’s a cheese fiend. If you’re lactose intolerant, you’ve got another thing coming for you. He will hand feed you lactaid just for the meal. If you have a dietary restriction, he’ll learn how to cook your types of meals in abundance. He’s perfect that way. Vegetarian, vegan, keto, no matter what, he’s got your back. He’s learned how to make an excellent spread for a dinner party, and part of learning to cater to others is to work around other people’s diets; his mother drilled that rule into his little head as a kid. He does it without complaint, too. For at least a week after coming home, he’s just so happy to be around food in abundance again. He’s absolutely thriving in the kitchen before the thrill wears off and he’s back to avoiding cooking like the plague again.

He loves to eat, but usually hates to cook. He’ll mostly eat takeout until he actually has to eat a nutritious meal again for a change. It’s not that cooking is awful, it’s just that he hates doing the dishes. He’d be far more inclined if he didn’t have to do the dishes afterwards. If you take over dishes, he’ll definitely step up his game for the both of you.

All in all, König loves to eat. He’s a big man with a bigger appetite, as hard as that is to believe. Once he retires he has to learn to cut back a fair bit, but he never loses his taste for sweets and snacks. It’s just something you’ll have to learn to live with.

[ethereal-night-fairy]

Mistletoe Kisses Part 2

Poly!141 x GN reader

It's Christmas day and the boys are acting even weirder than usual. And coincidentally all the mistletoe you placed has been moved. Your in for an eventful day.

AGELESS BLOGS AND MINORS WILL BE BLOCKED.

Poly Masterlist

Words: 3.6k

You wake up at 5:30am a little later than usual since it was everyone's day off. You dress in your gym gear, ready to get some cardio and weights in for the day. You'll have so many calories to burn after the Christmas dinner your going to have.

You walk into the gym to find it empty. No surprise there. It was Christmas who wanted to exercise on Christmas. Majority of people were probably in the common room opening and exchanging presents. Or calling their loved ones. Saying sweet words to spouses and children. You might do the same, give a few friends a call later on to wish them well.

You settle in your usual gym spot and begin your stretching routine. You only get about halfway through when you hear the gym door bang and clatter like it was being pushed and pulled with aggression. You watch through the glass door as Gaz and Soap fight each to get through first. You laugh at the absurdity as you call out to them.

“Didn't know the gym was in such high demand on Christmas day!”, you laugh at them, finally squeezing through together. What you failed to notice was that Price and Ghost had used the other entrance to sneak up behind you as you laughed. It was too late by the time you noticed.

“Not the gym luvie, just you”, you felt a shiver run down your spine as a hand snaked its way around your waist preventing you from escaping. You twist your body to find Ghost right behind you with his arm on your hips now. It's when you look up that you notice the mistletoe right above your workout place. The dots click in your head but not soon enough. You feel the kiss on your forehead before you can move away. The second kiss comes from Price on your cheek as you move away from the mistletoe a second later.

“You sneaky bastards”, you laugh with mirth. They finally caught you. You look up again at the mistletoe a few feet away as Gaz and Soap approach clearly vexed by the situation. Price gives them both a smug look as he goes about getting ready for his workout. Ghost was already on the weights.

“That's so unfair!”, Gaz exclaims.

“You think it's unfair, it was my idea to put the mistletoe there”, Soap grumbles as they all go to their respective places.

“You guys are so silly, all this effort for a kiss?”, you look at the high ceiling where the mistletoe was taped. It must have taken a while to figure out how to get up there. You shake your head as you get back to your work out. If you think this was a one time occurrence you were sorely mistaken.

You enter the mess hall to find it full and go over to your usual sitting place once you had gotten your plate of food waiting for the guys to show up after their showers. You watch them enter and Gaz immediately makes a beeline for you with Soap closely behind. Your confused until you look above your head to find a string and mistletoe hanging about a metre above. You quickly try to change seats but Gaz was right in front of you when you stood up. He gives you his best disarming full canine smile before placing a kiss on your nose and hauling you in his arms away from the mistletoe so Soap couldn't get a kiss. Causing him to curse in frustration.

“What's gotten into you all..”, you eye them suspiciously. “You guys have another bet going on don't you?.....you do, don't you?”, you give Soap a questioning look as he looks away sheepishly. Gaz puts you down not before snuggling into the side of your neck saying he'll be back in a sec. You watch them both leave to get in line for breakfast, not answering your question. You pick another seat away from the mistletoe as you watch Price and Ghost approach with their plates. You all eat normally as if the events of the morning hadn't happened. You really were going to let it all slide since you thought this was the end of it but that was far from the truth. You'd find that out soon later.

Though today was everyone's day off, you still preferred being organized. You did dip into the common room to wish everyone a Happy Christmas before going about doing little tasks. You spent the rest of the morning being preyed upon by your teammates. Whether you were going into the Price office to collect something or grabbing something from your locker you were always met with someone stealing kisses from you. You had gotten too comfortable with the placement of the mistletoe that you hadn't realised they had moved them. You've lost count with how many kisses they've stolen from you. Except for Soap that is. He was always interrupted in his early attempts with the others sabotaging his chances. And by then you had caught on to their little game and started surveying your surroundings. A cute little game of cat and mouse. The only fragment of peace you got was when you went into your room to call a few friends or went into the bathroom. But you couldn't hide there all day; you had things to do. Your friends laughed at your predicament and told you ridiculous theories they had about your teammates. You ended up laughing off their jokes. There's no way….right? Right? Why would they be interested in you?

You shake your head as you grab the festive apron you had just bought not long ago. It was mid day and Price had said he'll help you with the dinner prep. You still needed to make dessert as well so you scurried off to the kitchen while keeping an eye out for mistletoe. You arrived to find the kitchen empty. The dinner for the rest of the troops was going to be delivered by a restaurant this year around. But you wanted to do something special for your boys. You walk to the fridge while trying to put your apron on. As you're doing so, you feel warm calloused hands engulf your own taking the ties of your apron from you. You let go startled, feeling a very familiar beard brush up against the shell of your ear.

“Captain..?”, you let out breathlessly.

“Aren't you a pretty little thing working so hard to make your boys dinner.” His hot breath fans the side of your face causing goosebumps to raise on the skin of your neck as he ties your apron behind you with careful and precise movements. His touch leaving behind a burning trail of heat. Air gets stuck in your throat as you go to turn around. You're trapped between the counter and Price's toned body. His eyes look hungry and it doesn't seem like the hunger is for food. His blue orbs roam your body up and down as you stand there frozen. You watch his hand reach up above your head to open the cabinet behind you. As he does so your eyes look up to find mistletoe taped to the inside of the wood. Directly above your head. How convenient. You let out a laugh. You wondered why they were trying so hard to win this bet you knew nothing about.

You brace yourself for another kiss to the forehead or possibly a cheek or even your nose. But he has a mischievous glint in his eyes as his gaze dips down to your lips making your heart pound knocking against your ribcage. It felt like it was going to burst out of your chest at this rate. His eyes flicker to your eyes before dipping back down to your lips. He's never looked at you with so much want and desire before. You don't know where to run or hide but it felt like he was stripping you with his gaze alone. Ever so slowly you watch him lean down to bring his lips closer as if he wasn't sure if you'd allow his advances. When he doesn't get a rejection response from you his mouth comes closer as you stand there questioning every lingering touch and flirty joke you've been on the receiving end of.

Your eyes flutter shut as his nose brushes against yours. His warm minty breath fanning your face. You hold the air within your lungs awaiting the prickle of his beard and the soft touch of his tender lips….

“Oi!!”, your eyes fly open your head immediately turning to the door of the kitchen like you've been caught red handed. Even though it wasn't you that did anything.

You find Soap standing in the doorframe with his arms crossed.

“The rules were no kissing on the lips Captain”, Soap walks in clearly annoyed. As the captain grumbles something you take the chance to slip past Price to go towards the fridge again fanning your face.

OMG YOU WERE ABOUT TO LET YOUR CAPTAIN…YOUR CAPTAIN KISS YOU ON THE LIPS. There must be something seriously wrong with you. You don't engage with the bickering that was happening as you got the meat out to sear. Trying desperately to get that almost kiss out of your mind.

You don't get that luxury though as Ghost and Gaz walk in to find their captain and sergeant getting into a heated argument. Which ended with Johnny snitching on Price. Both Simon and Kyle started arguing too, saying ‘its against the rules’ and ‘its unfair to everyone else who's waiting’. You had no idea what they were going on about and you didn't have the mental capacity to try to figure it out. You just wanted to cook dinner in peace.

“Can you all please go argue somewhere else, I have dinner to make”, you raise your voice to get their attention. They all look down to floor or somewhere on the walls acting like they were schoolboys being scolded by a teacher.

“Sorry luv…didn't come all the way here to disturb you.” Simon is the first to move to take the ingredients off your hands as he sets them on the counter. He gets you settled on a stool beside the counter telling you to rest, that they'll take care of the dinner from here.

“What am I supposed to do then?” You watch as they put aside their feelings and get working together to prep whatever is needed for dinner.

“Just relax you've already done so much”, Gaz pats your head as he passes you by to gather something from the pantry.

“If ye really want tae do somethin’ ye can help me decorate these Christmas cookies”, Soap brings out a tray cookies from their hiding spot. You wonder when he made them considering how busy everyone was yesterday. He grabs a cookie decorating kit from a cupboard dropping the icing tubs on the large counter opposite to the stove where Simon is searing the roast. Soap gently grabs your stool pulling your weight with ease to his side.

The cookies are slightly burnt and lopsided but you could tell Soap had tried his best. You begin piping the icing on the odd shapes while sneakily eating bits that break off with Soap swatting at you from time to time. It was a nice atmosphere where everyone worked together. You catch your eyes drifting to your captain every time he brushes past you. Watching him roll up his sleeves had your mouth going dry. He definitely caught you ogling because he had a smug look on his face every time you two made eye contact. You could tell the others weren't happy about your reaction to Price after he had almost kissed you on the lips. By the looks of it. Price may be winning the bet they had created. Surprisingly no one tried sneaking a kiss from you again.

The next few hours go by without a hitch and by the evening the table was set and you all were enjoying dinner. You crack Christmas crackers between eachother. You laugh as Gaz grabs all the paper hats refusing to share any with Soap. You watch as he struggles to keep them all on his head while eating his dinner. And Price sneaking a few off when he wasn't looking. You didn't end up winning any of the little prizes but Ghost gifts you all the items he wins placing them in a pile beside your dinner plate. It was very lovely dinner. It had your heart feeling all warm and fuzzy. Like you had a family here away from home.

You could see Soap grumbling toward the end when everyone was having dessert. He still hadn't got a kiss from you yet and you could tell it was bothering him. So as you all make your way to Price's office to open presents and have a glass of some well deserved expensive alcohol you keep your eyes peeled for some mistletoe. For different reasons this time.

You spot one hidden in the corner of the hallway, not thinking you slow down your steps to match Soap as everyone walks ahead. He gives you a questioning look as you stop and so does he. You gently push him towards the corner. He's so confused you end up laughing at his odd expressions. He goes to open his mouth but before he could say anything you place the first kiss on his forehead, the next on his two cheeks, then his nose. By this point everyone else has turned to face you two. You place another kiss on his nose. As he gives you his broadest smile. You watch Soap fistbump the air, as you laugh at his reaction to you kissing him.

“One more for the win, please! One more for the win!”, he practically begs you. You think about it for a moment as you eye everyone else. You see the playful jealousy in their eyes. Gaz and Ghost make a run for it to get you away from the mistletoe to stop Soap from winning the bet between them.

“Don’t!”, Both Gaz and Ghost shout at you. But it's too late. Your lips are already grazing Soaps' jawline with a smile on your face.

“Fuck yeah!! That means I win the bet!”, Soap practically crushes you in a hug as he hauls you away from the mistletoe so neither Gaz or Ghost could steal a final kiss from you. He places you beside the captain as he runs away from Gaz and Ghost who are chasing him to the office.

Your laughter is cut short as you feel very familiar lips on your ear.

“Such a naughty sergeant, you'll be punished for taking my win away from me”, you gasp as Price growls low in your ear. You don't get much time to think because as quick as he came he also left you standing there as he followed the boys.

Every nerve endings was set alight as you entered the office to find things relatively calm. Apart from Soap brandishing a very triumphant look and boasting about his win.

Your eyes meet Prices, he has such a devilish smirk on his face. Like he's about to pounce on you any second now. He probably would have if he wasn't interrupted in the kitchen. You turn away immediately not being able to hold his heated gaze. Preferring to look at the decorated office instead. Price sat on his plush chair as everyone else found a place to settle in his office. You decide to walk over to where Gaz is seated to squeeze in beside him. He places an arm around you immediately bringing you closer to his side complaining as to why you had to go make Soap win. Ghost goes around handing everyone their respective gifts. Before settling beside Soap.

You watch everyone open their gifts with excitement. There were thank you and kisses exchanged between them. You're a little more aware than usual. A little more alert after Price's last comment. You still couldn't get that almost kiss out of your head. You watch as they hug and kiss each. It didn't seem so friendly to you anymore. It didn't seem like friends having a laugh. They were like kisses exchanged between lovers. You watch them more closely as everything clicks into place.

They were…. together…like… all four of them. They were in a relationship. But now that had you questioning every encounter with the four men. On when and how they would flirt with you. How their hands always found themselves on your body somehow. How they would find any excuse to get rid of people hitting on you. Were they flirty like that with everyone? No…you knew they weren't. So why you?

Your brought out of you deep thoughts as Gaz crushes you with a embrace so tight you think he might be trying to crack your bones but he lets go just as quickly to get up and remove his shirt. You look at him shocked only to realise he was putting on the jumper you had made him. You cringe at your awful knitting but Gaz doesn't seem to notice at all. Showing it off to everyone in the room that you had gifted him a handmade jumper. You glance around the room to see slight jealousy at the handmade gift but that's quickly replaced by thank you as they open their own presents. Soap particularly happy with his Scottish flag scotch glass.

You don't realise until everyone is looking at you that you haven't open the nicely wrapped box sitting in your lap. You make eye contact with Price to find his eyes to have softened compared to before. You work your hand on the wrapping paper making sure to open it with care. The small black leather box sits in your palm. You glance at them one last time before opening the box to find a ring…well not a ring exactly…it was on a necklace so a pendant. You smile thanking them for their gift as you remove the chain from the box…

Price gives Soap a knowing look. As Gaz hugs Ghost's shoulders from behind his chair. You're about to put the necklace on but Soaps hand stops you midway placing the necklace back in its box. You look at him confused before silently asking for an explanation for his actions as he kneels before you.

“Since ah won the bet, the honour was given tae me tae ask ye this question. Would...ye consider…being ours?”, he looks at you with so much adoration.

“Being yours…?”, you look at all of them and they all held the same look in their eyes. “But you have each other…you don't need…you shouldn't..want…me”, you watch his face fall slightly at your words before recovering.

“But I do…we all do…we can't help thinking about ye when ye're away. Can't help getting jealous when someone flirts with ye. Can't help want tae be close tae ye all the time…We can take things slow…”, he looks at you for your reaction. But you're deep in thought fidgeting with the ring on the chain.

“It doesn't have tae be all at once. Ye can get used tae the idea”, he looks at you hopefully as you glance at everyone else. Your eyes lock on Price who also looks at you longingly.

“So I'll be…dating? All of you?”, you watch them all nod in eagerness. “And you're all dating each other too..??”, they all nod again confirming their relationship status. You watch them hold their breaths as you decide on your answer.

“That explains all the touchiness”, you laugh as you play with the ring on the chain. On closer inspection you see engravings on the inner band. You bring it closer to your eyes to see the initials of the four men neatly engraved on the inside. It made your heart melt. They seemed serious in wanting to be with you. It explains all the flirting and tender touches. Soap watches you carefully, still kneeling at your feet waiting for an answer.

“It's a bit overwhelming….to be with four men... all at once…but I-I....really like you all…I'd like to see..where this goes…”, you feel heat rise to your neck and cheeks when the words leave your mouth.

Not a second later Soap has you in his arms peppering your lips and face in small kisses and thank yous. Gaz and Ghost come up to you immediately as well taking the chance to hold you close to their chests. You return their warm embraces with eagerness of your own. Ghost helps you place the necklace around your neck as they all take chances to kiss you gently trying their best not to overwhelm you as you laugh from joy.

Price stays in his chair watching everything unfold. He has adoration written all over his face but there's also the underlying lust and desire you felt in the kitchen and then again in the hallway.

“Well now that's settled…come here love. Over my knee…A naughty sergeant like you needs to be punished for taking sides.”

Copyright © by ethereal-night-fairy. 2023. All Rights Reserved. Writing not permitted for reposting, transcription, translation or use with AI technologies.

[cariqwyn]

Optimal Eating Times for Effective Weight Loss :)

6-8AM: Your metabolism is starting to wake up, and your body is primed to absorb nutrients efficiently, so if you’re going to eat, this is the best time to do so. Eating a nutritious breakfast can help regulate blood sugar levels and curb hunger later in the day.

10AM-4PM: During this window, your body is in a state where it is most effective at burning fat, especially if you engage in physical activity.

4-7PM: Avoid heavy, high-calorie foods or large meals.

7-9PM: Try to avoid eating after 7PM, as eating too late can disrupt sleep and contribute to weight gain.

9PM-5AM: During this time, your body is in rest and recovery mode. Eating late at night can lead to weight gain due to reduced metabolism and less physical activity. Avoid eating during this time to help improve sleep quality and allow your digestive system to rest.

[0hcicero]

So I just started reading A Court of Thorns and Roses (audiobook), and am I the only one who is wondering if the author did any research into poor subsistence living or the lives of peasants? Because wow, I know Feyre’s family used to be rich, but if that was 8 years ago and y’all are poor as dirt now, somehow in the intervening period you might have learned:

- trap lines in the winter are far superior to active hunting. It burns less calories, you can use it with fish and land animals, and it will save you from frostbite bc instead of sitting in a blind for hours, you can go to your lines at certain times and head home, or drive animals toward your lines.

- buying flower seeds - or any garden seeds - is a suckers game when you’re poor. You only really need to buy seeds once!! Once you harvest, you let stuff ‘go to seed’ and then you collect it and store it for the winter, often trading seeds with your neighbours.

- they let things actively RUN OUT before doing anything about it. That’s absolutely buckwild if you’ve ever been poor — when you’re poor, you know how to make a meal stretch, and you DO IT.

- there is hunting, but no gathering?? This family has not stored any veg for winter, but neither do they go gather mushrooms, rosehips, roots, tubers, nuts, or even fucking bark?? What happened to their cottage garden?? Was it just flowers?! Were they that rich that they don’t understand that a garden produces food? Did they close their eyes as they walked past all their peasant neighbours and their gardens? Bc that’s maybe the wildest thing I’ve seen from both a historical and a ‘grew up so close to dirt poor you couldn’t tell the difference’ perspective!

- She left a whole ass Giant wolf carcass when her family is starving. Nah nah nah no that is the universe smiling on you when you’re subsistence! You will make a travois or somehow find a way to tie that to you and drag it along - that’s double the food, and possibly more money, because you could live off the wolf (which I assume does not taste great) and sell off some of the deer (which is delicious).

- she didn’t at least do a basic clean of her kill out in the woods?! She did not tan the hides?! Y’all, you do not want to be cleaning any kill on the kitchen table. Why? Because cleaning involves removing the intestines and stomach. That means shit and piss and food digestion in different stages, and the gases produced. You do that *outside*, typically at least close to where you made your kill, because you don’t want to have to have any…spills, and because it makes things a bit lighter to carry. Butchering? For sure do it on a table, but cleaning is an outdoor chore. Also, tanning a hide is not just skinning a creature! It’s scraping all the membranes off it, stretching and drying it, and curing the skin - sometimes with smoke, but often with a pretty gross solution (often including brain oil, and historically, I believe urine and/or feces, and other things with the right chemical components). It’s not a simple or quick task!

- soups, pottages, stews, with dried lentils, beans, or peas would have been the staple meals (depending on the climate and environment, but it feels fairly British thus far). Just having roasted venison (def not the best way to eat venison just from taste alone) would likely be a very very rare occurrence, because, as noted earlier, they’re so poor they would need to make it stretch. You would cure it or dry it or turn it into sausage. You would use it sparingly within a meal, not to serve as the whole meal.

- the market. If you were poor, you would likely be a stranger to spices, but not to salt. Salt is deeply necessary to survive in that period, as it’s one of the only ways of safely processing and storing meat with any longevity. And? If you got the money that they did while being as poor and as starving as they were? The first thing you would do — even if you were the most stupid rich person before then — is stock up your stores of dry goods! Flour, salt, honey, dried beans/peas/lentils, vegetables that store - onions, squashes, potatoes, root vegetables like carrots. It’s straight up Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs here - you will not give a shit about a new cloak before you give a shit about saying your hunger. They are said to be ‘starving’. Sorting out your survival comes before sorting out your fashion.

Anyways, this has been me for channel 4, reporting on anachronisms and misrepresentations in fantasy fiction. More news at 10.

[anaeve1224]

skinny secrets pt 1 :))

1. be overly hydrated - this doesn’t JUST mean water, most drinks (excluding energy drinks and plain espresso/cold brew) hydrate you and it helps you feel less hungry

2. WALKK - seriously walking is the easiest way to burn calories, 1 mile (~2,000 steps) burns around 100 calories and it tones your legs and makes them look slimmer (thigh gap !!!) some of them walk up to 10,000-15,000 or even 20,000 steps a day which is 500-1,000 calories burned

3. workout first thing in the morning BEFORE EATING - if u want to be in the negatives when u start your day for example but you need to eat breakfast it’s so much easier to burn 250 calories and then eat a 200 calorie breakfast than it is to eat a 200 calorie breakfast and then burn it off plus extra, also it just feels better when you eat knowing you’ve already burned this meal off and you don’t have to worry about it

4. prioritize sleep - this one is so so so important u burn SO many calories while sleeping and sleep in necessary for a healthy metabolism (napping counts !!) seriously i cannot stress how important sleep (and water) is !! ALSO fun fact— consistent lack of sleep can increase impulsivity and negatively impact your ability to make decisions with a long term goal in mind. i’ve been sleeping so much lately and i’m able to choose foods that are good for me and i almost never regret eating bc i’m keeping my goals in mind and eating healthy foods within my limit! lack of sleep can also affect your hunger hormones and increase your appetite, i find that days i don’t get enough sleep are also the days that i really have to fight the urge to binge

5. do your work/hw at a walking desk or on a stationary bike - this one helps me SOO MUCH it’s sm easier to focus on my work and i can burn like 500 calories while doing my homework. skinny girls like to be “unconsciously” active so something like this is perfect, and low impact workouts are the best- high impact too often puts too much unneeded stress on your body and will slow down your wl

[iwantoseemybonesss]

wl tips and tricks

1. spend your calories on healthy food obviously and eat enough Protein

2. cold showers are so good

3. Water, Water and Water!!! Drink a lot of water (cold)

4. Drink very warm water in the morning on an empty stomach this helps you with digestion and you can easily go to the toilet

5. Never drink your calories thats such a waste! If you‘re bored of Water, drink black coffee or sugar free tea

6. SLEEP! You burn a lot of calories while sleeping! if you don't sleep enough and and you're awake all night it doesn’t do anything

7. I recommend eating under 1000 calories a day! See what works best for you without binge eating afterwards! (I eat max. 400cals a day)

8. Don't weigh yourself too often as your weight will fluctuate throughout the day and this will make you less motivated. 1-2 times a day is enough. In the morning on an empty stomach and after you finished being on the toilet

9. walking!! Walk a lot!

10. Jogging or Running.

11. Eat slowly for better digestion and you don't bloat before eating drink water!!

12. Less carbohydrates more proteins! and vitamin!!!!!

13. Always weigh your food! Without knowing how much you've eaten, you don't know how many calories you've consumed

14. Don't tell anyone and surprise them with your you‘re new body!! Don‘t look for thinspo be the thinspo

15. buy clothes that make you look slimmer and emphasize your figure

16. Always stand up straight and elegantly as this will make you look purer, slimmer and more beautiful

17. don't disappoint Ana, she just want the best for you so listen to her

18. take before and after pictures to follow and realize your progress

19. zero drinks can cause your fat burning to stop and it is also unhealthy

20. Help a lot around the house (cleaning, tidying up,...) burns extra calories

21. Distract yourself from eating, be active and don't have time for eating! such as learning, drawing, playing, napping, ...

22. If you really want to eat something but don't allow yourself to, you can chew it and spit it out (you still swallow very few calories but not all of them!) its better than puking!!!

23. Cold burns calories but don't go out dressed too thin as you'll get sick more quickly than others

24. save calories! For example, if you want to eat toast, you can cut a slice in half into thin slices so you have a lid and a base made from one slice

25. always looking for excuses such as: I've already eaten, I'm going out to eat with friends, I have a stomach ache and the classic: I'm not hungry

26. buy clothes that are a size or 2 small so you are more motivated

[marlynnofmany]

Not a biologist so not sure how well this holds up, but consider:

Humans are warm-blooded. We are constantly burning calories just to keep warm. What if to aliens we are constantly consuming food just to keep up like DC's Flash family??

Alien: "What are you doing?"

Human: "Making the best sandwich I've had in weeks!"

Alien: "But you just ate this morning."

Human: "...Yes? Like normal? Wait, how long ago did you eat?"

Alien: "Three weeks ago. Like normal."

Human: "Oh right, you guys are coldblooded! Wow, I forgot. I guess we haven't been doing much running around lately, so you probably don't need much food. Weird. Well, you're missing out on sandwiches like this."

Alien: "If we're 'coldblooded,' does that mean your blood is hot? Is that why you eat so much, to maintain it? What a waste!"

Human: "Remind me to give you a hug next time the heater breaks, and I bet you'll change your mind."

[lieslab]

Mess is mine

Pairing: Seungmin X gn reader

Summary: After missing for a couple of weeks, Seungmin comes back home to find you struggling with an anorexic relapse.

Genre: Comfort/hurt

Word Count: 1.7K

Trigger warning: Mentions of food, diets, weight loss and weight gain, starvation, counting calories, and body dysmorphia.

A/N: We're back on track with requests. Food and eating disorders are really mentally draining and ugh. They're really awful to deal with. I'm sorry to anyone who has to deal with them on the regular because they suck major ass. I always say it and I'll say it again, please be gentle with yourselves <3

_ _ _

You can’t see some illnesses and that’s just how it is. A person can look entirely normal to your face. Everything appears perfectly fine, but a smile can always be fake. Hidden beneath the skull, mental illness can bury themselves into the warm crevices of your brain far, far, far away from sight. 

Locked and drilled into you, how do you separate yourself from your mental illness? How do you keep it away from swallowing you and devouring you whole? How do you fight it before your mental illness claims your soul? 

Food was something you always struggled with. How amusing it must be to some people. How could you have a battle with something that every person needed to nourish their body? How did that happen? 

It wasn’t hard when you grew up in a world where models and actors and actresses were eye level in the store. The bold and accusatory titles had been ingrained in your head since you were younger. 

Some actress caught swimming at the beach had gained a bit of a stomach. Check out the interview with the Victoria’s Secret model who swore off sugar and went on strict diets for the upcoming famous Victoria Secret Fashion Show. Check out how this latest up and coming actor dropped a massive amount of weight for his new role. 

With everything at your fingertips, it wasn’t hard to find a parent’s worst nightmare. Tips on Tumblr for how to starve yourself. Reddit threads about how people lost weight and kept it off. Insane and unsustainable diets that were sure to cause you to crash and burn. 

It wasn’t a surprise when you fell victim to an eating disorder. A silent struggle that you always thought about any time a bite of food came near you. How many calories was in this and that? 

Did salt and pepper add more calories to your food? Maybe you should eat your salad plain and without dressing because calories count in every little thing. With your own brain against you, you were driving yourself mad until you thought you would burst and on and on it went and then…and then you met Seungmin. 

It’s not another person’s job to fix you, but when Seungmin found out, he helped you the best that he could. He took you outside on walks every now and then, so the two of you could talk. On the days you admitted that you didn’t have breakfast or lunch, he made you nutritious snacks. 

The beginning was the most difficult thing in the entire world. You remember the salted taste of the soup he made for you one day. The recipe was out of your hands and he didn’t tell you what it was. You silently freaked out in the bathroom because you didn’t know how many calories you consumed. 

A hundred calories was basically five hundred and five hundred might as well be a thousand, plus a few hundred. It’s a sticky situation that’s hard to get out of. 

However, you knew this inner battle couldn’t go on forever. You knew you had to try and fight and you were jealous. You were jealous of the people who ate what they desired and stayed around the same weight. You hated that you didn’t have the same mindset as them, so you tried. 

You tried to keep the same mindset and you were brave. You ate the dessert after dinner, you ate the snack between lunch and dinner, and you ate breakfast. You didn’t realize you had gained weight until you finally stepped on the bathroom scale.

The next day, Seungmin left for Japan. It was only a few weeks that they’d be doing promotions. When the band came back to Korea, they’d be getting ready for another comeback. Seungmin wouldn’t have time for you and you were grateful because this was a mess and you needed to fix it. 

Weeks later, you didn’t realize that Seungmin had let himself into your apartment. You came home from work utterly exhausted and defeated. You pushed the door open to your bedroom and stumbled inside. 

Seungmin was in the kitchen and he had helped himself to the items in your kitchen. He was preparing the two of you a snack when the front door opened. He dusted off his hands and began to head towards your room. 

Too distracted by your own thoughts, you didn’t hear his footsteps as he approached your bedroom. You bent down to tug off your work shirt and ripped it over your head. Your work pants soon followed and during that time, Seungmin’s heart dropped. 

Through the setting sunlight, he could make out the ridges in your spine. He was able to count your ribs again. You grabbed an oversized shirt and shimmied into it. The cotton baby blue hung down to your mid-thighs. 

You didn’t bother with a pair of pants as you dropped back onto the bed. Still unaware of Seungmin’s presence, you pulled out your phone and shot him a text. He was supposed to be home today, but you didn’t know when and asked for clarification. 

When a notification bell came from the hall, you jerked up in shock. Your eyes were wide as Seungmin stood in the hallway. You hated that the first thing you noticed was the disappointment in his eyes. 

Body dysmorphia was a very scary and real thing. You were starving yourself. The skin was stretched tight over your bones. Carved out cheekbones and a perfectly sharpened jaw completed your face. You struggled to force your eyes to meet him. 

“Seungmin, I-” 

“Why?” He got out softly as he approached you. His hands gently reached out and he grabbed your hips. The padded flesh had melted away. The comforting feeling was left jagged and unnatural. “When was the last time you ate?” 

“I can explain, I-” 

“You relapsed. You relapsed and you didn’t tell me. Why didn’t you tell me?” 

The tears filled your eyes before you could stop them. Your voice fell out shrill. “I-I’m sorry, but you were busy and I-” 

He pulled you into his arms and wrapped them around you. “You’re not and you’d never be a bother to me. I don’t care if I’m up in the air and halfway around the world or a few countries over. I’m your boyfriend and I don’t want you to suffer alone. I know this is hard and scary, but please don’t shut me out.” 

“I-I-” Your voice cracked as it wavered. “I didn’t mean to. I gained weight and it wasn’t that much, I know, but it felt like I suddenly gained a thousand pounds. I just wanted to lose a few more and I-” 

Seungmin’s sudden warm squeeze cut you off. You shut your eyes and put your head on his shoulder. In the very beginning of your relationship, you had struggled with things like this before. It was never easy to be vulnerable with another person. 

You were his entire world and he wasn’t going to let you suffer alone. He sucked in a deep breath and inhaled the familiar scent of your body. You were his home for months now and you always would be. 

It was finally washing over you that this was a battle that was greater than you. Sometimes we can’t fight battles on our own and sometimes it’s better to ask for help rather than suffer in silence. 

There’s a weariness and fear in being vulnerable, but there’s a warmth and a light in some people. Some people will do anything in the entire world to try to make you feel better. They’d set themselves on fire to keep you warm if they had to. 

“When was the last time you ate?” 

“I don’t know,” you finally admitted. 

Seungmin pulled away and looped his hands through yours. “Come on,” he tugged you towards the kitchen. Your feet remain rooted to the ground and fear began to bubble in your stomach again. 

“Please don’t worry. I made us a small snack and I promise you, you won’t gain weight from it. You need something in your system, so you don’t pass out. What if you passed out in the shower? Do you really want paramedics oogling over your moist and naked body?”

A smile began to tug at the corners of your lips. “You know that I hate that word a lot. It’s such a disgusting word and I-” 

“Oogling or moist?” 

“Both.” 

“That’s just too bad. Come on, we have a lot to catch up on. Just wait until I tell you what the guys and I did. Come on, go faster! I got on pinterest while away and found the cutest little snack inspirations and I made them!” 

You smiled softly as you let him lead you to the kitchen. You weren’t sure what to expect, but it wasn’t too often that Seungmin could be so soft. It made you feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. 

“Ta-dah! Do you like them? I think they’re very cute. I’d say that you can pick yours, but this one is mine. I made it and it reminds me of Lee Know.” 

Your heart melted as you found a piece of toast on a plate. Seungmin gently pushed the porcelain plate towards you. It was so cute, you thought you might cry. 

A thin layer of peanut butter had been spread over the toast. The scent of bananas still lingered in the air. He had applied a small slice of banana to each top corner. Another banana slice sat perched in the middle of the toast. Two raisins placed above them created eyes and another raisin on the middle banana slice created a tiny button nose. 

“It looks like a bear, right? I thought it was cute. Sometimes you like to sleep a lot and it reminded me of hibernation and bears. This one is mine,” he pointed to his own slice of toast, “it’s a cat.” 

Two blueberries sat in the middle of the peanut butter toast for eyes. A single strawberry had been cut up. Two triangular speckled slices sat on each corner to create ears. Tiny snips of strawberry were placed along another smaller slice of strawberry for whiskers. 

“You know what dogs do to cats?” 

Before you could respond, he grinned and took a huge bite out of the toast. 

| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ |

Masterlist

Taglist, and inbox rules

[khakirnelm]

From an incorrect quote generator

If Melody was a human tho

Phoebe: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE Melody: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially Phoebe, desperately, as Melody bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE Melody: Oh! B positive. Phoebe: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE Melody:

-

Phoebe: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming Melody: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak

-

Phoebe: Whaddya call a fish with no eye? Melody, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons Phoebe: Phoebe: fsh

-

Phoebe: So what's for dinner? Melody, staring at the food she just burnt: Regret.

-

Callie: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone. Phoebe: Mine just says "Phoebe no." Callie: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

-

Trevor: Not elegant enough to be a vampire, not jock enough to be a werewolf... Phoebe: Goblin it is.

-

Trevor: My head hurts. Phoebe: That’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.

-

Computer: Please enter a password. Phoebe: *types in Melody* Computer: Your password is too weak. Phoebe: How fucking DARE YOU-

-

Phoebe: So what are your political beliefs? Podcast: Well, I think Pikachu would be a lot more powerful if he had a gun.

-

Callie: You spent all our money on THIS?? Gary, putting tiny raincoats on ducklings: They live outside. They need this.

-

Phoebe: Why are you on fire? Melody: This is just how my day is going.

-

Podcast: Change is inedible.

Phoebe: Don't you mean inevitable?

Podcast, spitting out coins: No, I did not.

-

Phoebe: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.--

[translation: I’M SORRY]

Callie: What's that?

Phoebe: Remorse code.

Callie: I'm even angrier now.

-

Phoebe: I don’t do relationships.

Melody: *exists*

Phoebe: Shit.

-

Trevor: Kissing can burn 26 calories in a minute, wanna work-out with me? ;)

Lucky: Are you saying that I'm fat?

Trevor: No that's not what I meant I-

-

Phoebe: Podcast... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?

Podcast: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.

Phoebe:

Phoebe: I wrote sanitize, Podcast.

-

Callie, tending to Trevor’s wounds: How would you rate your pain?

Trevor: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.

-

Peck: I'm going to ask you to be respectful. Phoebe: I will politely decline.

-

Podcast: I’m having one of those things! A headache with pictures!! Phoebe: you mean an idea..? Podcast: MMMMHHMMM!!

-

Phoebe: English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though. Trevor: You need to stop.

-

Phoebe: How did none of you hear what I just said? Callie: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours. Gary: I got distracted about halfway through. Trevor: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

-

If Melody was a human, again

Phoebe: HELP! I TOLD MELODY I’D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN’T COOK! Trevor, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

-

Podcast: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time? Phoebe: The car takes a screenshot. Trevor: For the last time, get the fuck out.

-

Gary, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him Callie: You did WHAT– Phoebe: William Snakepeare

-

Trevor: You look nice, I want to kiss you. Lucky: What? Trevor: I SAID IF YOU DIED, I WOULDN’T MISS YOU.

-

Gary: The best revenge, really, is being nice! Podcast: [in the distance] Or murder.

-

Gary: That’s one of my biggest fears. Like, if I ever woke up as a donut... Callie: You would eat yourself? Gary: I wouldn’t even question it.

-

Phoebe: WHOEVER CAUSED THIS MESS IS GOING TO- Melody: It was me... Phoebe: ...Is going to be forgiven because everyone deserves a second chance.