#but I am using all of the information we have so far in the canon material to calculate this

[ryuichirou]

Why is Ortho included in ship art? He died as a child, and although he was rebuilt, his emotional intelligence and maturity level stayed the same as that of a child. Although I fully disagree, I do want to understand your reasoning. Especially since Ortho and Idia are related and I saw your art of them kissing. I am genuinely confused.

I’ll be honest, Anon: the amount of people who message us pretending to be genuinely confused while having ill intentions are more than I care to admit, and this is very tiring; this is why I might sound a little dry in my reply. But I don’t mind explaining it if you genuinely want to understand it. That being said, let this be the last time I am ranting about this topic because there is nothing new I can say.

Here is the short answer: Ortho is included in ship art because we ship him with other characters. Ortho having a maturity level, mentality and/or intelligence of a child is a myth that contradicts canon and only exists to antagonise people who view Ortho as anything other than Idia’s baby mascot with zero agency. The fact that Idia and Ortho are related is not a reason not to ship them: shipping is fictional and doesn’t reflect one’s views on irl matters. Exploring taboo and problematic dynamics and tropes in fiction is a part of natural human experience. What I care most about in shipping is characters’ dynamic that I find fun for shipping. Their relation to each other comes second, but I won’t pretend it doesn’t exist if it does exist.

Now I’ll give you a long answer. Starting with “Ortho is a child/8-year-old/5-year-old/toddler” argument.

We actually saw real 8 yo Ortho before his death in Idia’s flashback and, wow, we can see that AI!Ortho and flashback!Ortho aren’t the same Ortho. "My largest amount of birthday data comes from eleven years ago, when I was five” is the line that Ortho says in one of his Birthday vignettes, which indicates that even though he does have memories of dead!Ortho, he is not stuck in the age of 8 – he thinks and feels that his fifth birthday happened eleven years ago.

But also just in general, if you listen to him talk and compare it to how he talked in Idia’s flashback (both the voice and the manner of speech), it becomes pretty clear that he is older. He is younger-looking and has a high-pitched voice but it’s due to the fact that Idia designed him to look that way, and there are a lot of potential reasons why he could’ve done it (all non-canon and theoretical, so we won’t dive into them today), but he is definitely not 8 years old. Ortho’s AI constantly learns new information, learns more about being a human – he is clearly maturing as the story goes, thus showing that he is in fact capable of aging mentally, and he’s been doing it from the moment Idia first created him. He is naive and inexperienced, but that doesn’t make him an infant.

Plus, post ch.6 he is always being grouped with other freshmen who are also sixteen years old. This is his age group. This is how old Ortho would’ve been if he was still alive, and this is how old AI!Ortho feels. He’s a proper first year student just like Ace, Deuce and the rest of the boys, and the story keeps highlighting it in all the events that happened post ch.6.

Speaking of post ch.6. At the end of the story AI!Ortho and real/blot!Ortho actually merged a little, as far as you can remember. Blot!Ortho, wow, is also 16. He’s been stuck in the Underworld since he was 8 and he existed all those years and grew up as well despite his terrible situation and more than unusual company, so we can safely assume his age. His merging with AI!Ortho also influenced him (AI!Ortho) in a way, making him more human as a result as well.

Not to sound mean, but I think the majority of people who still insist that Ortho is mentally 8 either don’t pay attention to his character, his story and how he interacts with others at all, or straight-up choose to believe that lie because it makes it easier to attack shippers or anyone who likes Ortho in general.

But also guess what, none of that matters actually because ultimately he is a fictional boy, and fictional characters’ ages are irrelevant. Just like fictional characters’ family relations are irrelevant. Even if you don’t think it’s right, that doesn’t change the fact that it is irrelevant, and the only thing that could be done about it is that you can block people and/or tags that make you upset. There is no shame about it: I avoid a lot of ships and tropes that make me upset.

I would prefer people to stop accusing me, a real person, of actual vile crimes (or having dark thoughts about them? What the fuck is wrong with you?) because of fictional, made-up things. If I want to, I can unrelate Ortho and Idia, and my fanart would stop being incestuous with a snap of my fingers. I can make them enemies, I can make them kill each other over and over again, I can kill Idia instead of Ortho. I say this to show how little it matters, and no, ~the implications~ don’t count. People make them up and choose to believe that instead of listening to the person in question. About a real person, let me repeat myself. You (plural/neutral you, not you, Anon) cannot make shit up about another person’s thoughts, ideas, and views just because you find it convenient.

As for why I personally ship Ortho with Idia despite them being siblings, you’re in luck because in addition to this already long post I have an even longer post for you to read if you’re interested! It’s been more than a year since I’ve written that post my reasoning is still pretty much the same, so I think it’s a pretty good one to read if you genuinely want to understand us better.

But if you don’t want to read another long post but are still interested, here is a TL;DR:

I love their deep love for each other and don’t want to just explore the platonic aspect of it – there are a lot of other scenarios that I want to play with;

there are a lot of tropes related to this ship that we love (us two against the world; AI in love; causing an apocalypse for the sake of your loved one; unhealthy and codependent relationship; obsession, etc);

their story has a lot of motifs that could be read as romantic (i.e. Orpheus and Eurydice analogy) that we really enjoy;

personal reasons; relatability (not elaborating on that; not related to incest though lol);

they’re sexy lol I love robot parts, size difference and a lot of other aspects that I won’t mention here.

I hope that explained some stuff. Just to be clear: I don’t want to force anyone ship Shroudcest, in fact I don’t care if we are the only people in the world shipping them (that will never be the case though lol). I just love Ortho very much, and I think he is a very fun character that has a lot to offer, and I really don’t like that people want to create this aura of “he’s just baby don’t touch him” that stops people for getting to know his character better. He is cunning, he is smart, he is caring, he is psychopathic, he is a lot of things, and all of those things make me want to see him bossing Idia around, acting cute around Vil, bonding with Malleus over their differences and similarities, all of those things.

[boss-the-goofball]

So I spent a good chunk of the week doing calculations and I can say with full confidence that All Might is roughly 54/55 - this is only if he got OfA at 14/15 which is highly likely for reasons that I will explain once I finish compiling everything

and yes, I will get a fucking cork-board and string for the purpose of this

[bonefall]

For everyone hearing about StormClan and doesn't mind Ivypool's Heart spoilers, here's the details I've heard so far;

(Remember to take this with a grain of salt, as always, because this is third hand information I've collected from various spoiler threads)

This is not a major plot thread in Ivypool's Heart. It's actually quite secondary.

StormClan was created at some point after DOTC, when Galestar of WindClan and Stripestar of ThunderClan fell in love.

They combined their Clans into one and left the territory.

At some point, Galestar, Whitebreeze, Rosebush (or Shadebush) and some other guy betrayed Stripestar.

Some cats came back to reform ThunderClan and WindClan.

But not all of them came back; these remnants stayed as StormClan.

Ngl StormClan's traditions are UNIRONICALLY very cool. Instead of contacting a centric StarClan, each one has a "Spirit Guide" (a lot like my Patrons and Demons, but more personal!)

Spirit Guides give their chosen disciple a full name, and can be channeled directly when needed. VERY cool.

Sisters are a breakaway group from StormClan. Less cool, imo, I wanted them to be closer to the Tribe.

StormClan cats also tend to be aggressive, and have actually been several of the unnamed rogues across the series.

Ivypool is going to have several flashes to the StormClan founding drama, or spiritual visions, or something. Basically she's going to give us a window into the history of StormClan.

We get confirmation that fading is connected to forgetting, BUT a faded spirit can be brought back if they're remembered.

There's a big soul river thing that connects all the afterlives.

So, overall, imo this seems fun. I'm actually glad that the Erins are being a bit more creative with the afterlife systems, and this is a nice way to riff on the structure of Clans. While I am still (rightly, imo) wary of the team's ability to juggle all of these new groups, I think StormClan is an interesting addition to canon.

[ronance4everbrainrot]

Moooore descendants 4 incorrect quotes with Glassheart/CharmingHeart (they back)

(and other ships)

Red: Sometimes I get so caught up on being gay that I forget I’m actually bi.

(Girl. Same)

---

Maddox: Man, I’m gonna get fat if you keep feeding me all these chips and junk!

Red: I’M NOT! I was eating them and you took them.

Maddox: You said I should try some!

Red: I said they were good.

Maddox: That’s not how I heard it.

(MADDOX! HIIIII! SOME LOVE FOR YOU TOO BUDDY!)

---

Red: Tomorrow’s the Cooking Contest. Maddox always tells me one thing every year. They say, “You might win if you’d stop eating your entry!” But how would I know whether it’s an award-winning dish without tasting it first? This may be a problem humanity will have to grapple with for eternity.

(AU. Red is a good cook)

---

Chloe: So how’s the food Red made?

Cinderella: It's great! Compliments to them.

Chloe: *goes to the kitchen*

Chloe: You're adorable.

Red: *blushes*

(again. Red is a good cook. She invites the Charmings for dinner and then asks them for their blessing when Chloe leaves)

---

Chad: we could make a boys club!

Maddox: Im non-binary.

Chad:

Chad: Anti-girls club.

(Slay. Also can't decide if Maddox should be green or purple. Maybe even orange but I chose green for now. Will change later if I'm in the mood)

---

Red: Can you PLEASE peer pressure me into doing my project?

Chloe: Do it or you're straight.

Red: I said peer pressure, NOT THREATEN!

(That's too far, Chloe! Are you mad?!)

---

Chloe: Operation no more distractions is a go!

*not even 10 seconds later*

Chloe: Oh, look! A butterfly!

(She's either laser focused or cannot concentrate at all)

---

Red: *clicks pen*

Maddox: *clicks pen in response*

Queen of Hearts: Stop that.

Red: Stop what?

Queen of Hearts: You’re talking about me in Morse code!

Red: Yes, that’s what we doing. In our very limited time, we took a class on a very outdated, very unnecessary form of communication just so we could talk about you in front of you. Congrats, you figured us out!

*later*

Red, to Chloe: That’s actually exactly what we were doing.

(I'm surprised you kept your Head. And they absolutely did learn that because they had nothing else they could do)

---

Chloe: Come on, Chad. Nobody actually believes that Red is in love with me.

Chad, to The Squad: Raise your hand if you think that Red is helplessly in love with Chloe.

*Everyone raises their hand*

Chloe: Red, put your hand down.

(*raises hand* what more evidence do you need??)

---

Chloe: The salary of a clown is 51,000 dollars.

Chloe, gesturing to Chad and Red fighting: And yet these idiots do it daily, and for free!

---

Red: When I first got my autism diagnosis, my first thought was “woah… it’s canon” and I think that maybe thoughts like that is why Chloe made me get tested.

(It is canon now. Headcanon)

---

Chloe: Anything else?

Red: Yeah. Stay away from me!

Chloe: Alright. See you in the room we share

(Literally them. Canon. can also be switched)

---

Queen of Hearts: If looking good was a crime, you’d be a law abiding citizen.

(rather that and not off with my head)

---

Queen of Hearts: We are gathered here today because someone- *glares at Red’s coffin* -couldn’t stay alive!

(Oop-. Damn. She would care more tho. I think..)

---

Queen of Hearts: So you're looking for information on this thing, huh? Well, I feel like it must be from far away.

Mal: What makes you say that?

Queen of Hearts: If it's something even I don't know about, then I'm sure nobody else must have a clue. So it's gotta be from some faraway place. Impeccable reasoning, isn't it?

Mal: Your Majesty.. You don't have a clue about this thing, do you?

Queen of Hearts: *screams in anger*

(Just a meeting between two Queens ✨. Canon

---

Queen of Hearts: Standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like ‘look at this fucking flower. This flower is taller than I am. This flower is winning and I’m losing.’

Maddox: Wow, you are not ready to hear about trees.

(ssSSHHhhH. Not so loud. Don't want you to lose your head. Canon tho)

---

Red: I’m terrible at expressing myself.

Uma: Don’t worry, actions speak louder than words.

Red: Yes, but my actions are also bad.

(Girl same. Getting advice from the principal ✨ she probably did something 👀)

---

Queen of Hearts: God has let me live another day and I'm going to make it everyone's problem.

(She for real does make it everyone's problem)

---

Hope you liked it!

Wanted to add more but then it would have been too long.

So the next one has more of the OGs

Byeeee

[another-lost-mc]

More than temptation awaits you at Purgatory Hall.

MICHAEL x SIMEON x RAPHAEL x gn!Reader, 2.4k words, NSFW.

Content warnings: Canon-typical vampire behaviour (biting/blood drinking). Dub-con and dark themes including manipulative behaviour, power imbalance, mind-altering magic. Dom/sub dynamics, teasing, masturbation, oral sex, overstimulation, praise kink, corruption kink, pet name used for Reader (little lamb). gn!Reader (they/them pronouns).

more from the vampire!au

You stare at the ceiling of Simeon’s bedroom. Moonlight peeks through the curtains on the far wall; it’s the only light to chase away the evening’s shadows. When you turn your head anxiously to look at the angels surrounding you, all you can see is the unnaturally bright glow of their irises, tinged red with bloodlust. Michael’s eyes are the clearest of the three, and he sounds calm but authoritative. Trustworthy. Simeon and Raphael don’t speak much but when they do, they sound raspy as if they’re parched and dying of thirst.

They are thirsty, aren’t they?

Simeon called you earlier and you were startled by how rough his voice sounded, the faint tremor that distorted his voice as he spoke. He begged for you to come between groans of pain, and you rushed to Purgatory Hall as quickly as you could. Neither of you realized Raphael was suffering in his own room and had already called the Archangel to inform him of what was happening. By the time you arrived, all three angels were present and were exposed to the mysterious infection.

“We need to quell their bloodlust before it’s too late and they lose complete control of their senses,” Michael warned you when you arrived. You could see for yourself that Simeon and Raphael’s conditions were deteriorating rapidly, their brows furrowed and glistening with a sheen of sweat. “I am only here to help them, the same as you. Please help us.”

Of course you wanted to help���that’s why you agreed to give them what they needed, if it would spare them pain and suffering. That’s why they led you to Simeon’s room and laid you on his bed, and why they started peeling away your clothes for better access to the blood in your veins. 

“You’re so brave, little lamb.”

Michael’s voice carries to you from somewhere near the foot of the bed. Simeon and Raphael work silently on either side of you. Raphael unbuttons your shirt so the collar is loose around your neck, and he rolls up your sleeves. Simeon unbuttons your jeans and taps your hip gently; you raise yourself off the bed so he can tug them off, and he lets them fall carelessly to the floor.

It would be a shame to ruin your nice clothes.

We want you to be comfortable.

The cool air on your bare skin makes you shiver. “You won’t be cold for much longer,” the Archangel promises.

In your secret, most depraved fantasies, you wondered what it might be like to have Simeon take you to his bed. You imagined it all sorts of ways: sweet, innocent fumblings as you giggle against each other’s mouths while he tries to peel away your clothes, or the harsh, panting breaths against your neck as he grasps the back of your shirt and tears it down the middle in his haste to find bare skin.

You knew Simeon looked at you a certain way when he didn’t think you were watching. He was generous with his touches, intimate touches he thought he could get away with in public and shrug off as platonic. He brushed his hand against yours when you walked, as if tempted to lace them together but not having the nerve to. He moved his chair closer to yours at lunch so that your thighs pressed together under the table. When he leaned over to speak to you, his lips nearly brushed your ear and his warm breath tickled your skin. You stared at his eyes when he pulled away, dark and wanting while he licked his lips and smirked.

You didn’t realize until now that Raphael acted differently around you too. He lacked Simeon’s recklessness, but he was no less intense. He didn’t linger close to you like Simeon did, but his gaze was hot and heavy and no less attentive as he watched you quietly from a distance. Sometimes he did shock you with flirting, his bold declarations tempered by his dulcet voice and even softer smile. He left you stunned and stuttering a response, only to turn away and remind you he wasn’t serious or he was only teasing you.

You’ve underestimated the angels, you think as Michael rubs a warm hand up and down your bare shin soothingly. “Relax,” he coos softly as if he can sense your anxiety. “You’re giving them what they need. They’re so lucky to have a friend like you.”

Simeon and Raphael each take a seat on the edge of the bed. They lift one of your hands in theirs and run their noses along the delicate skin of your wrist. Their eyes smolder like ruby pools in the dark room when they stare down at you, filled with unrepentant longing and hunger.

They move in sync, both striking fast as snakes as they bare their gleaming fangs and bite into your skin. Your body jolts in surprise from the searing pain, but your gasp of shock and discomfort trails off as your veins are set ablaze by something else. You moan before you can stop yourself, and your face heats up in mortification when Michael chuckles nearby.

“Don’t be shy.” The mattress dips by your feet when he kneels on the bed; he nudges your legs apart so he can settle comfortably between them. He rests his hands on your knees. “We want you to feel good, little lamb. This is your reward for being so generous.”

Michael watches you squirm on the bedcovers as pleasure seeps into your body from the fangs latched onto each of your wrists. The gluttonous sounds of Simeon and Raphael sucking and slurping and licking at your skin is punctuated by your increasingly loud, breathy moans and whimpers.

The Archangel huffs with amusement when your thighs press against him in an effort to rub them together for some sort of friction. He tilts his head in consideration and moves his hands to your bare thighs, pressing them down against the bed to hold you down. “What’s wrong, little lamb? You seem restless.” You don’t respond, but he doesn’t expect you to either—he can feel your body trembling with something other than fear.

Simeon and Raphael have been watching you with greedy eyes while they feed. Michael nods to them and after his silent instruction, they place their hands on your chest. They slide their hands underneath the flimsy material of your shirt and rub your skin with slow, soothing motions. Raphael scratches his nails lightly in your skin, leaving little pink indentations where he’s marked you. Simeon trails his hand up over your nipple and pinches it lightly between his fingers; he smiles against your wrist, bloody and satisfied, when it drags another moan from you.

“Does it feel good when they touch you?” Michael asks, sliding his hands slowly up your thighs. His thumbs drag up the inside of your legs. 

You tilt your head back and nod clumsily against the pillow. “Y-yeah,” you whimper, arching your back against the mattress. Raphael and Simeon continue fondling your chest as they feed. “It feels so good.”

Michael hums thoughtfully as he slides one of his hands up the inside of your thigh. His fingers brush against your arousal, hot and needy beneath your underwear. Your thighs tremble delightfully when he strokes against the damp spot you’ve made with the tiniest amount of pressure, and you buck against him in a silent plea for more. Your own voice is hoarse from the mantra of sounds falling endlessly from your lips; the venom in your veins poisons your body with overwhelming pleasure.

Michael pulls his hand away and smirks against his sticky fingers as you cry out, pained by the loss of his touch. “Tell me what you want.” The command in his voice is unmistakable, even as he licks your musky taste from his fingers.

“I don’t—” you trail off between panting breaths, “I don’t know, please—”

Michael catches Simeon’s heated gaze, and he smirks before looking down at your sweaty, flushed face. Your eyes are glossy and blown-black with lust, and unshed tears cling to your lashes. “Tell me what you fantasize about when you think of Simeon,” he suggests innocently, eyes watching with fascination as you both react simultaneously to his words: Simeon growls against your wrist, and your eyes clench shut—from pleasure or embarrassment or both, Michael’s not sure.

“His mouth,” you admit in a shaky whisper, whimpering in shame as you turn your head to face away from Simeon.

Michael slides away from you and off the mattress, walking around the bed to Simeon’s side and nudging him to trade places. Simeon wipes at his bloody mouth, but all it does is smear your blood over his chin and hand. He nearly stumbles to the foot of the bed, blood-drunk and delirious with lust, before taking Michael’s place between your legs.

Michael kneels beside you on the mattress and tilts your head back towards him; he smiles when you finally open your eyes. “What a sweet, honest creature you are,” he murmurs, thumb rubbing along your bottom lip.

While you’re distracted by Michael, Simeon tugs your slick underwear out of the way and buries his face against you, licking at sucking at your arousal. You nearly scream at the sudden sensation of his hot mouth and tongue, wet and sticky from your blood. Simeon groans loudly against you as you slide your free hand into his hair.

It’s delightfully sinful, the chorus of sounds filling the dark room, humid with the heat of their bodies and thick with the scent of copper and musk. Raphael stops feeding and squeezes himself through his pants, eyes dark with glittering arousal as he watches Simeon’s mouth work greedily between your thighs. Curses and groans fall endlessly from your lips, and you writhe against the mattress and arch your back as Simeon’s skillful tongue pushes you towards release.

Michael reaches down and covers your hand that’s tangled in Simeon’s hair with his own. He laces your fingers together and helps you guide Simeon’s movements. “Do you want to come?” 

You’re too caught up in the ecstasy of Simeon’s mouth to realize Michael asked you a question. He squeezes your hand beneath his and grips Simeon’s hair, tugging harshly at his scalp and pulling him up from between your legs. Simeon hisses from the pain and snarls at Michael who raises an eyebrow at him before glancing back down at your face.

“Do you want to come?” Michael asks again, but his tone is sharper now, and it startles you into focus.

You whine incoherently, struggling to speak as the inferno building inside you leaves you nearly speechless. You roll your hips desperately in search of delicious friction and Michael tsks quietly. 

“You can do better than that,” Michael murmurs. “Use your words, little lamb.”

You nod your head against the pillow, subconsciously baring your throat to him that makes you look so submissive. “Please, Michael, I want him—”

Michael’s eyes flick up to Simeon’s frustrated gaze and he smirks. “Never say that the Archangel doesn’t reward obedience.” He stares pointedly at Simeon for a few moments before pushing his head back down between your legs and releasing his grip on both of you.

Within seconds of Simeon’s hot mouth against your skin, you’re riding out your release, head mouth open in a silent scream. His hips grind against the mattress and he’s fueled by a different kind of hunger now. He keeps going, mouthing desperately at your sensitive skin even as you whimper pathetically above him—it’s too much, I can’t—and ride out the aftershocks of the second orgasm he drags from your body. By the time Simeon has licked the cum and slick off you and pulled away, you’ve passed out from exhaustion and blood loss.

“You did so well, you beautiful creature.” It’s almost gentle, the way Michael wipes sweat off your brow and cups your warm, ruddy cheek with his palm. His touch lingers for a moment before he finally moves away from you.

He glances at his angels who stand near the bed on shaky legs. Their faces are both stained crimson from your blood, and they each have blooming stains in their white pants: Simeon from rutting against the mattress while he feasted between your thighs, and Raphael from fucking his fist while he watched.

Michael ignores his own aching erection tenting his robes as he reaches for your wrists. He casts simple spells to close the bite wounds until your skin is healed and unblemished once more. “I think I can finally appreciate your exceptional interest in our little lamb,” he muses.

He waves his hand and murmurs a complicated blessing that illuminates Simeon and Raphael in a bright glow of his Grace. He nods satisfactorily when he sees that the hints of the vampiric infection within both of them are gone. 

You were too worried about your friends, and too far gone with pleasure later, to notice he was never truly infected himself.

“How will we explain this tomorrow?” Raphael asks, grimacing when he runs his hand through his sweat-slicked hair. Simeon reaches for one of the discarded blankets on the floor and covers you with it.

Michael stands next to Simeon and places his hand over your eyes; it glows faintly before returning to normal. “All the others know is that they were here for a visit. If anyone asks, our friend was too sick to go home for the night. They’ll wake up with a fever tomorrow and think this was nothing but a dream, if they remember it at all.”

“Why did you do this?” Simeon asks quietly. He doesn’t sound angry or disapproving, but simply curious. There’s always a purpose for everything the Archangel does.

Michael faces Simeon and grasps his shoulders. “Is my generosity not enough? You both work so hard in the name of the Celestial Realm.” He leans closer to Simeon’s ear. “And we don’t have to fall for the things we want.”

He steps back and adjusts his robes, inwardly pleased by the contemplative expression on Simeon’s face. “Take care of our little lamb until I can arrange a formal visit for them. I trust that you can handle everything else from here.”

Simeon and Raphael lower their heads. “Yes, Michael,” they reply in unison, eyes downcast to the floor until the Archangel disappears in a golden flash of Celestial magic.

Obey Me! Masterlist

[monstrousmuse]

I am not sure if anyone here has already made this connection or pointed this out (apologies if so), but while doing some research into Flatland/the 11 dimensions the other day, I discovered something pretty interesting…

…

In the ‘Book of Bill’ announcement video, as well as distorted, synthesised background music and the Morse Code (which has already been deciphered), we can also hear several lines of spoken dialogue, the first of which being the line: “some other mystic dimension”.

Timestamp: 0:04

Now, this line already raises several questions - which ‘dimension’ is being referring to here? And why is it considered to be ‘mystic(al)’? Well, we don’t have a definite answer to either of those questions just yet, but if you will humour me for a moment, I have a few suggestions. Either this ‘other mystic dimension’ could be referring to Bill’s own homeland, the Second Dimension (which would naturally be considered ‘other’, ‘mystic’ and generally unfamiliar to us, the readers), or perhaps, it is referring to the Third Dimension itself, or what is known as Spaceland (Height/Up) in Abbott’s novella. I think the latter to be far more likely, especially with what I am about to show you. This is where my excessive YouTube deep-diving habits came in useful.

…

During my research quest, I stumbled upon this video of the famous astronomer and science communicator Carl Sagan (take note of this name) explaining the concept of the Fourth Dimension, as well as other Flatland-adjacent things. And lo and behold, at 4:37, what do we hear?

“And the poor Square has to say: ‘Well, I was in some other mystic dimension called Up…”

Yes, that’s right. The exact words that were used in the promo video.

To provide you some context, here Sagan is recounting the experience of A Square who, with the guidance and revelations of A Sphere, has just returned from a recent foray into the Third Dimension, and is trying to explain his sudden disappearance and newfound knowledge of Height to his friends. So saying, it is likely that the ‘other mystic dimension’ being referred to in the BoB video is in fact, the Third Dimension, since this is a book that has been written from Bill’s perspective, and it seems that he will be filling in the role of A Square in this narrative, discovering the Secrets Of The Universe and all. Although, I must emphasise that this is still just speculation on my part, based on the assumption that Bill’s backstory will be pretty similar to, if not a direct retelling of Flatland:

“Flat minds in a flat world with flat dreams.”

Who knows, Alex Hirsch may just subvert our expectations entirely.

“I liberated my dimension (…)” / “Saw his own dimension burn. Misses home and can’t return.”

…

Anyway, I have another little piece of the puzzle to share. The line spoken in the announcement video isn’t merely a word-for-word recreation of what Carl Sagan said, It is Carl Sagan. They used a direct clip from an episode of Cosmos. This has me giddy with excitement, because Carl Sagan, a man with much notoriety within the scientific community, and many achievements and accolades to his name, is known to be one of Ford’s scientific idols.

The level of detail in this show, and I guess now in its extended literary canon’s advertisement material, is insane. Do with this information what you will. Perhaps there’s a connection here that will be expounded upon in the book. Perhaps it’s just a cool reference. Even so, it is a very intriguing one nonetheless, especially with the tie-ins to Flatland, theoretical physics and Ford’s hero-worshipping. It’s clearly intentional.

…

(If anyone is interested, here is an excellent meta which provides a very detailed exploration and analysis of Ford’s respective connections to Sagan and Tesla.)

[crazyunsexycool]

stucky x reader, where reader didn't present at a certain age so she lived most of her adult life with no designation, alpha stucky who could be mated alr, accept her into their small pack regardless and are v protective of her. One day though, during their mission she suddenly gets her heat; and not a bearable one, like heat heat. And she just smells so good and irresistible which drove the alpha's absolutely feral.

ps. i love your writing!!💗😍

Present

Pairing: alpha!stucky x reader

Word count: 3.6k

Warning: smut, unprotected sex (wrap it up!!) p in v, fingering, canon level violence, mentions of blood, a/b/o dynamics

A/N: I had most of this written a while ago and idk why I never posted it but it’s here now. I’m so sorry it took so long but I hope you enjoy it anyways. I love receiving requests for one shots or dribbles so please feel free I promise that I am working on them they help when I get stuck on other things

Never having presented the way all of your classmates, friends and family had made you an outcast. Did it hurt to be rejected by your family for not presenting? Yes but it didn’t stop you from achieving your goals. It’s how you entered Shield and became an agent. Your lack of scent was an advantage over the people you were fighting, with no alpha, beta or omega needs to tend to you easily became one of the best agents. It’s how you ended up working with the Avengers.

It’s also how you met them, Steve and Bucky the mated alphas. At first you had been extremely intimidated by them and anytime you had to interact with them you referred to them by their ranks. Little by little they showed you they were big softies. It’s how courting gifts started, your favorite coffee on your desk in the morning, a book you had mentioned delivered to your room. It was all so sweet but you had to tell them you didn’t have a designation and you didn’t want to lead them on if they wanted an omega.

“What if we just want you? We don’t care about designations.” Bucky asked as he held your hand.

“Me?”

“Mmhmm, we want you sweetheart.” Steve says as he stands behind you, his lips brushing up against the shell of your ear.

“Even though I don’t have a designation?” It was almost too good to be true. The most desirable alphas wanted you, with or without designation. The thought of being theirs and them being yours made you shudder.

“We don’t care about that, we care about you.” Bucky says confidently but hopeful. “What do you say?”

A smile appears on your lips as you nod.

“We need you to use your words Sweetheart.”

“Yes. I-I would like to be with you.” Steve turns you around and immediately connects his lips to yours as a small but deep growl rumbles from deep in his chest. He doesn’t get a chance to deepen it as Bucky pulls you away and begins to kiss you.

You having no designation didn’t stop them from continuing to court you. In the short three months you had been with them they always had small gifts for you when they came back from missions or they took you out on dates. Steve and Bucky never made you feel less than for never having presented. On the contrary they were very protective and anyone who even dared to make a comment about you had to deal with them. The super soldiers were caring, protective and sweet which made you fall fast, this was the first time in a long time in which you wanted to have a designation so that they could claim you properly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You loved going on missions with Steve and Bucky, it was always amazing to see them working. Sure they went toe to toe with other alphas but nothing compared to the Super Soldiers. This mission you were headed to was supposed to be easy. Bucky was supposed to set up with his sniper rifle not too far away, while you and Steve headed inside. Your job was to extract information from the servers after you, but mostly Steve, cleared the building.

Since starting as an agent you were always confident in your abilities but you knew there was something off today. You felt warmer than usual and your body ached, not to mention that whenever Steve or Bucky so much as walked by you wanted to pounce on them. Their scents were driving you crazy and you found yourself squeezing your thighs together to try and get any type of relief. This didn’t go unnoticed by the alphas, they weren’t sure what was going on but they kept a close eye on you during the flight.

The mission was going off without a hitch for the most part. Steve cleared the building while you got to work on the servers. It was easy and if you hadn’t been preoccupied with the shooting pain that spread low in your belly you would have considered that it was way too easy. A whine escapes your lips as you try to focus on the task at hand before a growl gets your attention. It sends shivers up and down your spine and the bitter scent that hits you is just as unpleasant.

“Well what do we have here? I see they left me something to play with.” his lips turned into a wicked grin.

You put your hand up to your earpiece. “Alphas” is all you manage to say before the one before you lunges towards you and pins you down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky had made his way down to the building from his position at Steve’s request. The building had been cleared and he had left you to do your part. They were both well aware that it was too easy to get into the building, it had minimal security considering the information it housed. Steve preferred to have Bucky close in case there were more issues especially if he considered that you were behaving a little out of character. They both had agreed on that and the fact that if they didn’t know you didn’t have a designation it felt like you had a scent. One that was sure to send them into their ruts if it had been stronger. Steve and Bucky were doing one more sweep of a lower level when they heard it. A faint growl but enough to make them turn back around and when they heard your voice through comms calling them alpha they nearly lost it. You had never referred to them by their designation.

By the time they get up two floors to your location the scent in the air hits them. It was intoxicating but laced with fear and both super soldiers knew they had to act fast. When they got to the hallway where the room you were in they felt pure rage. The door had been ripped off its hinges and there was a faint smell of blood in the air. But as they got to the room they only found your ear piece and a dead alpha on the floor. Their enhanced hearing alerted them to movement further down the hall and close to the stairwell.

They split up with Steve following the footsteps and Bucky trying to find you. At any other moment they would be calm and focused but you were in trouble and the men that had promised to keep you safe would stop at nothing to do so.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Y/N.” he says with his voice lowered so as to not scare you. His scent reaches you and you relax slightly. Bucky found you in a room hidden away from the others that Steve was following.

“Alpha, it hurts.” you whine from your spot in the corner of the room.

“I know, doll but I’m here. I’ll help you.” he coos as he finally gets closer to you. He’s fighting his instincts to claim you right on the spot, the sweet scent made stronger by your heat is driving him crazy. Instead Bucky focuses on using his own scent to soothe you.

As soon as he is crouching in front of you, you launch yourself into his arms. Bucky holds you close as he tries to find any injuries. The only thing he finds is a rip on your uniform and he’s furious, if the alpha wasn’t dead already he would have ripped his head off. But then Bucky feels the tip of your nose brush up against his mating gland and up his neck and he shudders.

“Omega.” When Bucky pulls back his eyes are darker than you’ve ever seen and completely full of lust.

“Is everything ok?” Steve’s voice comes through the comms.

“Kind of. She isn’t hurt but she’s starting her heat, we have to get her out of here.”

“Meet me at the entrance. The jet isn’t too far and- fuck. Bucky you have to move her to a safer room. We have more guards coming in.”

“Fuck. Ok, moving now.” Bucky scoops you up and rushes out of the room trying to ignore the way you keep nipping and licking at his neck. He moves quickly until he finds a room he deems safe enough for you. He listens for footsteps on the other side of the door after setting you down on the table, at least he doesn’t have to worry about a sniper since there aren’t any windows.

“Bucky, what’s happening to me?”

“Doll, you’re presenting. You’re an omega.”

“Your omega?” you whisper, afraid that he’ll say no.

Your question makes his breath hitch. He turns towards you, his eyes dark and lust blown.

“Mine.” he says as he walks towards you with purpose. Standing between your legs as he pulls you in for a filthy kiss. He felt you trying to undo his belt and then the button on his pants but he stops you. “We can’t doll, you aren’t safe.”

“Please, need you.”

“You’ve got me.” He says as he moves to undo your belt and pants. With every passing moment your scent got stronger and so did your heat. Bucky knew he had to do something to help.

He pops the button on your suit pant open and then lowers the zipper, slowly his hand makes its way between your thighs. Running his fingers through your fold he groans at how wet you are. “This all for me ‘mega. Is this for your alpha?”

“Yes, alpha please.” you moan as you feel him circle your clit slowly. Your hips move on their own accord to try and get more friction. He captures your lips with his as he starts to pick up the pace, swallowing all your moans. “More, Bucky more.”

“I got you doll.” he says as he moves from your clit down to your dripping entrance and slowly pushes two fingers in until he’s knuckles deep. You whimper at the feeling. “Look at you so greedy, gripping my fingers so tight.” Bucky begins to pick up his pace before adding another finger. He curves his fingers stroking that spot that has your eyes rolling back, your mouth open in a silent scream. Your hands gripping on to his shoulders as the knot in your belly tightens.

“That’s it doll, be a good girl for me and cum.” Bucky starts thrusting his fingers faster until he feels your walls clench and he hears you scream his name as the knot in your belly unravels. “Good girl.” he praises as he slowly removes his fingers from your pussy. You whine at the loss while you rest your forehead against his chest as you try to catch your breath. He puts his fingers in his mouth and groans at the taste of you, Bucky freezes before he can say anything to you. His attention is on the footsteps rushing towards your position.

The door is kicked open and Bucky goes feral as the scent of the other alphas hit him. He hears all of them inhale and their eyes are fixed on you. Bucky moves so that his large frame keeps you hidden from them.

“We just want a little taste of your omega. She smells delicious.” One of the men says as he steps into the room. Bucky orders you into the corner of the room before he starts his assault on the men that dared even look in your direction. He’s fueled by pure rage and his need as an alpha to protect his omega.

As soon as the last of the guards hit the floor Bucky fixes your uniform before grabbing you and carries you out of the room as Steve tells him it’s all clear.

They rush from the building, Steve leading the way in case anyone else tries to stop them and Bucky has you in his arms. During this whole ordeal your head is fuzzy and all you want to do is strip your clothes and be close to them, taking in their scent. Somehow during this mess you ended up on Steve’s lap, while Bucky handled getting the jet off the ground.

“Alpha.” You call out to Steve. He growls when he hears you call him by his designation. Steve would never admit it but he’s wanted to hear you say that word for a while and hearing it along with your sweet scent and the slick that is pooling in between your thighs he’s sure to go into a rut.

“Omega?”

“Please, need to feel you.”

“You want my knot, sweetheart?” he coos. All you can do is nod. “Use your words baby.”

“Yes, I want your knot.” as you shift to straddle him. Steve rips your clothes off, your inner thighs covered in slick. He lifts you slightly so that he can lower his pants and boxers enough to free his already hard cock. In one swift move Steve buries himself in your wet heat, causing both of you to moan. No matter how many times you’ve been with them it always took you a moment before you could start moving. You relish the stretch and feel of him as you begin to move, His hands around your waist to keep you steady as you grab the straps on his shoulders. Rolling your hips a couple of times you moan as he captures your lips with his. Needing more, you begin to bounce on his cock.

“So needy sweetheart.” Steve groans “take what you need omega. Just like that.”

You mewl at his words as you try to move faster. Steve’s hands move to your hips and he begins to take control as he thrusts up into you. You throw your head back unconsciously baring your neck for him. “Fuck, you feel so good. I’m gonna mark you right here.” His teeth grace the junction between your shoulder and neck right where your mating gland is. “Do you want that omega?”

“Y-yes alpha, please.” You say in your lust filled haze, your eyes half lidded and glazed over as you hold onto his shoulders straps tighter. He continues his fast pace as one hand moves from your hip to your swollen bundle of nerves. The added stimulation causes you to clench around Steve’s cock. Pressure begins to build between your legs, you realize it’s his knot.

“I can feel you’re so close sweetheart. Let go baby.”

His words are all you need for your orgasm to wash over you with a moan of his name, his teeth sinking into your neck. You can feel the bond come to life as he laps at the mark he made. Then you feel his knot catch as his hips start to stutter. With one final thrust Steve spills into you as his knot locks you both into place. Exhaustion creeps over you and you lay with your head on Steve’s shoulder, drifting off into sleep as you hear him praise you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your eyes flutter open and taking in your surroundings you realize you’re in bed just not yours. There’s a slight ache on your neck and you feel almost guilty but you’re not sure why. When you sit up your head feels fuzzy and you groan because of your sore muscles. The sheet that had been covering falls and reveals that you're naked and you’re flooded with confusion. As you look around the room you see a water bottle on the nightstand and you grab it, drinking half of it immediately.

The door opens slowly and you cover your chest unsure of who will walk in but you only see Bucky standing at the door. He smiles at you but as his woodsy scent, mixed with Steve’s warm and comforting scent, permeates through the room a small whine bubbles up and escapes you.

“Where are we?”

“We’re in a safehouse, doll. You presented during the mission.” He tells you as he sits at the edge of the bed. Bucky is breathing heavily as he fights against his most basest instinct to mate and claim you.

Steve stands in the doorway with a tray in his hands but he doesn’t walk in. Instead he hovers around the door, guilt floods the bond. It’s a foriegn feeling to you and your hand goes to your neck as you trace the almost healed mark left there by the blonde alpha.

“Steve, are you ok?”

His smile is small, your question enough to get him to move and he places the tray on the bed opposite Bucky.

“How are you feeling sweetheart?”

“Fuzzy and hot… and really sticky.” you say and they chuckle.

“Eat first omega and then we’ll get you cleaned up ok?”

“Will you stay with me?” you mumble as you look at Steve.

“Of course.”

Steve moves to rest against the headboard and you immediately crawl on his lap. Steve and Bucky take care of you, doing exactly as they said they would, you eat a bit of the fruit that was brought in as well as some yogurt. Then Steve takes you into the shower so that you can wash up. With your new bond set in place though you want to cling to your alpha and he won’t say no to you. Even before you dated there was nothing neither him nor Bucky wouldn’t do with or for you. This moment was exactly what you needed, as you washed each other, it was intimate and comforting. You reassured Steve that you did want him to claim you and to hear you say those words lifted a weight off his shoulders and you felt relief wash over the bond. Once you were both done you headed back into the bedroom as you began to feel slick start to coat your inner thighs again.

This time Bucky would help you through it and you assured him that you also wanted him to claim you. It’s how you found yourself presenting for your alpha. A needy whine spills from your lips when you feel Bucky behind you.

“Alpha please.” you say as you look at him over your shoulder.

“It’s ok ‘mega. I’m gonna take care of you.”

Bucky takes his already hard cock and slides it through your folds. The head of his cock hits your clit and the sensation has you mewling. He groans as he lines himself up with your entrance and slowly pushes in. You wiggle your hips once he bottoms out, needing that friction more than anything.

“Please alpha, need you.” you beg over and over until he finally starts to move.

Bucky’s pace is slow at first, he wants to feel all of you. The way you flutter around him when the angle is just right. But the moaning and begging mixed with your sweet scent are all consuming and his pace quickens. Bucky keeps you in place by gripping your hips, the area will be sore tomorrow you’re both too far gone to care.

“Feel so good omega. Like you were made for me.” He growls as he snakes an arm around your body and up to your throat.

The hold isn’t tight but it’s enough for him to pull you against his chest. You take hold of his forearm and your nails dig into his flesh as he begins to tease your clit. The coil starts to tighten again low in your belly as Bucky continues to push you further into unbridled bliss. His breath hits your cheek as he begins to whisper in your ear.

“Such a good girl. Look at you taking me so well. Are you gonna cum for me? Show your alpha how good you feel?”

You nod as a strangled moan escapes you. Your head lolls to the side as pleasure takes over you. The only thing you’re aware of is Bucky claiming you just as Steve had. His hips falter for just a moment and you feel his knot swelling, locking you in place. Bucky sings sweet praises in your ear as he moves both of you into a comfortable position. You try to fight off the sleep, you want to bask in the joy of this new development but you’re too tired and the warmth Bucky provides is your undoing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

You walked back into the tower a week later hand in hand with Steve while Bucky offered to carry your bags. Their ruts had started a few hours after your heat began and the week at the safe house was spent being tangled up with each other. At first you had been caught off guard when they said they wanted you to claim them, it was almost unheard of. But you did it and it was one of the most thrilling moments of your life.

Once the elevator opened up to the shared floor the rest of the team slowly filed out to meet you. It was a series of congratulations and hugs for the three of you. Tony had been the most excited about the new development. He was your closest friend and you had confided to him that you wish you could have presented.

Your childhood hadn’t been easy, being rejected by so many people made you doubt what your purpose was. But being in Steve and Bucky’s arms you realized you were meant to be more than just an omega. Never in your life did you imagine that not only would you become a highly important member of a team dedicated to saving people but that you could still be an omega and kickass. You were more than elated that you didn’t present until now because you found alphas that valued you for more than your heat. They gave themselves fully to you so you gave yourself fully to them. And you wouldn’t change a thing about it.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Why the fight for queer rights isn't over (it should be obvious, but to some people it isn't)

TW: transphobia and homophobia

Hi, Tumblr, this is Asmi. If you know me, it's probably as the Good Omens Mascot, which is flattering. I've found so much love and queer positivity in the good omens fandom, and the beautiful thing is how it's canon. Many people outside the queer community don't realise how crucial media and communities like this are. Right now since I'm on break from education, I'm on tumblr for most of the time I'm awake (which is not a lot, I nap more than Crowley). It's wild how different it is from the real world, that I live in at least.

I'm sure a lot of you might have had a similar experience to this: Basically, two people in my life, my bio father and my ex, both told me to my face that queer people needed to stop calling themselves oppressed and how now it's queer people who hold all the power and are oppressing other people. With all due respect, what the fuck.

I live in India, and being a trans guy who is bi and aspec, it's a cesspit. While I'm gendered correctly on Tumblr, and people are so loving and supportive, in real life even my friends who say they support me misgender me 90% of the time. Same with my family. In my previous college which I had to leave because of bullying by both the students and admin, even the queer students would misgender me (I told them I used they/them pronouns, because he/him would have been too unsafe, but even that they didn't manage). In the college I'll join next, it won't be safe for me to be out at all, at risk of losing opportunities and safety. Gay marriage is still illegal. Homophobia and transphobia is the norm. This doesn't even cover all the daily indignities like queerphobic jokes, casual discourse on whether or not we deserve rights, etc. Discrimination against aroace-spec people is rampant even within the queer community, worldwide.

And I live in an urban area, one of the largest cities in India known for its progressiveness and for being relatively safe for queer people. I am privileged compared to other queer people here. The story in other cities, in rural areas which make up most of the country, is far more horrifying. I'm unqualified to speak about anything other than my own experience, but if you can (if you are in a stable and calm enough mental state to handle the information, please put your mental health first) I'm sure there are first person accounts on the many forums.

The fight for equality is not over. It doesn't end with laws riddled with loopholes, it doesn't end even with laws that genuinely help the queer community. Aside from the huge problems of living safely and with access to equal opportunities and resources for people, we deserve dignity, peace, and the right to feel accepted and that we're not an abnormality. And so much more.

I haven't said anything that hasn't been said before, but it can't be said enough. To the queer people reading this, take all my love. We need to stand together, eliminate discourse over who is queer enough to be queer, and be the safe space that the world will not provide for us.

It's not over, and it hasn't been won by a long shot, but what matters is that we're fighting. Even existing as ourselves in a world that tells us it is a crime, is defiance and a step towards making this right.

[arctrooper69]

As Iron Sharpens Iron

"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." Proverbs 27:17

Beta-read by @dragonrider9905

Chapter 2:

Previous // Next

Warnings: Jealousy, canon violence.

--------------------------------------------------

Why does she have to come along? You thought bitterly as the ship rattled through the atmosphere.

It was one thing for Phee to come along, but her sister was another story altogether. You had no problem with Phee. She’d proven herself to be extremely helpful when things went south; she was fun and easy to get along with.

Tara, on the other hand, though you’d only worked a job with her twice, seemed to be the opposite. She was nice enough and shared her older sister’s enthusiasm for adventure, but that was where the similarities ended. If Phee was fire, Tara was ice. The others seemed to tolerate her, and you had to admit she was good at her job. Omega enjoyed her stories as much as she did Phee's and for some reason that irked you as well.

She used to come to Hunter for everything.

Hunter and me, you thought bitterly. Lately it was all Tara and Phee who occupied her attentions.

Tara seemed to have a way with people. She’d talk someone up, laugh, and bat her eyelashes, then suddenly the datastick - and sometimes their wallet - would find itself tucked away neatly in her pocket or wherever else she could hide it. Phee spoke highly of her. According to Phee, her sister could draw the attention of a target and sweet talk them into giving her information just as easily as she could disappear entirely in a crowded market - stolen information taken without a hitch. You’d seen the former on the last mission. In just a matter of hours, a few drinks and conversation combined with a pretty dress and tasteful jewelry was all it took for the officer to let slip the location of Cid’s coveted artifact. Even Tech had seemed impressed.

“Good work,” Hunter had said to her, as she made her way back to the ship. His deep, husky voice stirred something inside you even though his words were not directed to you. You’d seen how she’d brushed up against Hunter as she passed him by on the way into the ship. Though Hunter had stepped aside and seemed to pay her no mind, you didn’t trust her as far as you could throw her.

And with how thin she is, I could probably throw her pretty far, you thought with a smirk that quickly disappeared as you looked up.

Hunter currently stood behind her in the cockpit, hand gripping the back of her chair. Her hair brushed across his fingers as he peered over her shoulder at the datapad in her lap.

The ship shuttered and dropped in altitude, ripping you from the jealous thoughts.

Tech, grappling with the failing controls, glanced over at them saying something you couldn’t quite hear over the turbulence.

Another jolt sent you stumbling into a chair, pulling you roughly back to the situation at hand. Hunter grunted at something she said and turned back to the others,

“Strap in,” he commanded, “We’re in for a rough landing.”

You could feel his eyes burning through the back of your head as you fumbled the straps, clipping yourself into place. Undoubtedly he could sense your discomfort, though you doubted he knew the true cause.

He strapped himself into the seat beside you, placing a hand on your knee.

“Relax,” he whispered, “It’s nothing we haven’t done before.”

You froze, staring at his hand on your knee, that strange but familiar warmth burned fiercely through your chest.

He snatched his hand away as though he’d been burned and you found your eyes following the motion as he placed it awkwardly in his lap. He shifted almost immediately to the other seat beside him. Towards her.

The sense of warmth you’d felt evaporated as quickly as it came, replaced with an ache that ran through your body like an icy chill and you shivered.

“The storm is interfering with the navigation systems,” Tech called out, “I am going to attempt a manual landing.”

“Oh boy…” Wrecker’s nervous grip tightened on the shoulder straps that buckled and strained to keep him in place, his fingers finding the well-worn grooves in the metal handle. “We’re gonna crash! We’re gonna crash! We’re gonna crash and die!” he shouted mostly to himself.

You were never sure if he was actually truly terrified or if it was just an involuntary reaction to the adrenaline rush that came with the threat of death.

Probably a bit of both. You found yourself grinning at him, feeling the rush through your own chest - a strange mixture of terror and euphoria that kept you on your toes, ready for anything.

A sharp drop threw you backwards into the seat sending a throbbing ache through your skull, thankfully muted by the protective restraints.

“Ow! Kriff!” Wrecker shouted as his head bounced off the wall, his seat too small to adequately protect his large frame. A loud clatter sounded through the ship, adding to the chaotic clamor of the storm outside.

“No!” cried Tara as the datapad flew from her grasp, sliding across the floor. She reached for her seatbelt.

“Leave it!” Hunter snapped, his hand immediately sliding down to his own safety latch.

Tara shook her head, “We need that information!” She glared over at the fallen datapad with an unyielding determination as she unlatched her straps and staggered to her feet.

“Don’t! It’s not worth anything to us if you’re dead!” shouted Phee as she too reached for her seatbelt, prepared to retrieve her sister. Tara stumbled against the wall as the ship shuttered, sending the datapad further away. She growled in frustration.

“Everybody stay where you are!” Echo’s voice carried over the cacophony of mechanical failure and falling debris, projecting an air of gravity perfected only by an ARC trooper’s experienced command. Phee removed her hand reluctantly from the latch, teeth on edge as she watched her sister stumble to her knees, fingers barely brushing the edge of the datapad before it violently slid away once more. Tara dove after it.

“Almost got it!”

“Tara look out!” Omega shrieked as Gonky came screaming down the short passageway. In a flash, Hunter was out of his seat, tackling Tara to the ground, curling protectively over her as Gonky smashed into the bulkhead where she had been leaning only seconds before.

The ship spun again and Hunter braced himself against a console, grabbing hold of Tara’s arm, dragging her upwards. The datapad slid over and she reached down, snagging it quickly.

“Got it!” She shouted triumphantly, apparently unphased by the fact that she was nearly killed.

Hunter grabbed the datapad from her hand and tossed it to you with a practiced ease as he turned and latched Tara back into her seat.

You gripped the device tightly, watching intently as anger sparked in Hunter’s eyes.

“Don’t ever do that again!” He sank back into his seat and you averted your gaze, staring blankly towards the cockpit where Tech was slowly regaining control of the ship.

“We’re coming in too fast, Tech!” Hunter warned.

“Then I suggest you brace yourselves!” Tech snapped back, brow furrowed in concentration as he pulled the controls with all his might.

“Pull up! Pull up!” shouted Wrecker.

“I. Am. Trying!” Tech grit his teeth.

With one last tug on the yoke, the ship collided with the ground in a wet clatter of fallen tree branches and mud, skidding forward before coming to a roaring halt, just barely missing the edge of a sheer cliff.

Wrecker let out a sigh of relief as he got to his feet, lifting Omega to the ground. You followed Echo as he lowered the ramp and jogged out into the muddy terrain to survey the damage.

He whistled, hand resting on his hip while his scomp arm leaned against the side of the ship. He chuckled, shaking his head as he eyed the mere inches of ground between the end of the ship and the edge of the cliff.

“Cutting it close this time, Tech.”

Hunter grinned, clapping him on the shoulder, “He always does.”

Tech followed him down the ramp, adjusting his goggles, “We survived, did we not?”

“Barely,” muttered Wrecker as he surveyed the cliff and backed up several feet causing Omega to laugh.

“See? I told you we’d be fine, Wrecker.”

Phee’s eyebrows shot up as she joined them on the edge. “Woah! I knew you were good, Brown-Eyes, but this is somethin’ else. Nice landing!”

Tech looked up at her, smiling slightly before turning to glare at his brothers. “At least someone here appreciates the amount of precision and skill it takes to achieve a landing like this.”

Tara was the last off the ship. You handed her the datapad and she cleared her throat,

“Alright, guys. We’ve got a bit of a ways to go, so we should get moving.”

Echo nodded in agreement as Wrecker picked up his pack.

You blinked, not making any move to grab your own pack. Who died and made you squad leader?

Her knack for seizing control of the situation irked you and you found yourself almost unconsciously spinning around to face her.

“Actually, it’s Hunter who gives the orders here, not you.” The words were out before you could even think to stop them. Tara looked surprised. Wrecker froze, pack hanging limply from one shoulder, eyes moving between you, Tara and the rest of the squad. Echo raised an eyebrow. The awkward pause lasted only milliseconds, but to you it felt like an eternity before Hunter stepped in with a sigh, raising a disarming hand. Something indiscernible flashed through his eyes as he looked at you briefly before taking control of the situation.

“Tara’s right…”

The rest of his words were lost to you as a blazing humiliation burned through your chest, mixing strangely with that cold feeling you’d had before.

He took her side. Though you knew Tara was right, it still hurt. No matter how hard you tried to reason with yourself, no amount of logic could relieve the feeling of betrayal. AND I just made a huge fool of myself. Great job….

Wrecker elbowed you, shaking you from your thoughts. Your eyes snapped up and Hunter looked at you expectantly.

“Did you hear anything I just said?”

Kriff. “Y-Yeah!” you stuttered.

He didn’t look convinced but he continued on, addressing the whole team. “Alright then. Let’s get moving.”

Slinging your pack over your shoulder, you began to follow but a nudge from Echo stopped you. He shook his head, looking you over with evident concern written on his face.

“Did you not hear Hunter? You’re with Tech and I. We’ve got to get the ship repaired and primed for a quick takeoff.”

“Right,” you could feel your face warm with embarrassment once more, “Yeah. Guess we should get working then.”

“Yeah.”

Your hands reached for tools, fingers removing and replacing wires, working in a numbing mindlessness on repairs you’d done a thousand times over.

Of course Hunter took her side, idiot! You scolded yourself. She was right. You were wrong.

Tara had her mind on the mission. You had your mind somewhere else, overthinking stupid, impossible scenarios. And yet, you found yourself thinking back to the chaos over and over again - seeing Hunter throw himself protectively over Tara, seeing Hunter’s hand on her arm, hearing his words to her in that deep, authoritative tone: “Don’t ever do that again!”

They were the same words he’d spoken to you just two days ago. The same day you’d seen Hunter in the closet with Tara pressed up against him. The worst part was that you weren’t even sure they were aware that you saw.

So now everyone thinks I’m just crazy. How could I have misread everything so badly!? Was I just seeing what I wanted to see when he had me in his arms?

Though you could’ve sworn that the look in his eyes held something special, it was obvious, now more than ever, that you had clearly misjudged.

--------------------------------------------------

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[sipho-pearl]

analysis of the soul contract

(if you haven't seen the translation for that yet, look it up or look at my original translation post here)

Major spoilers for the entirety of Gravity Falls and also MAJOR Book of Bill spoilers for like the whole thing so go look at that first, ok? (Seriously, this post makes more sense the more you know about the content of the book...and the series)

**if i make any mistakes within this analysis in terms of existing lore or there's something i should add, send me a dm/reply to the post!! or just rb it with the information lol

Under the cut because it's really long (but contains information that I believe to be very important to the overall lore!!)

There are three really interesting things hidden in the translation for the soul contract that I actually NEED to talk about because I haven't really seen them discussed anywhere else?? (yes it's divided up into sections, don't worry)

The Soulmate Passage

The soul contract passage starts off with Bill's lawyer talking about all of the things that they can legally do with your soul, but then they go into the idea of soulmates, and something about this passage feels eerily familiar.

YOUR SOULMATE WILL NOT RECOGNIZE YOU AND WILL WALK RIGHT PAST YOU ON A COLD AUTUMN DAY, NEVER MAKING EYE CONTACT, NOT EVEN PROCESSING THAT YOU GAVE EYES AT ALL. NO AMOUNT OF INTERACTION WILL MOVE THEM TO A PLACE WHERE THEY CAN REMEMBER, IN FEELING, THE THOUSANDS OF LIFETIMES YOU HAVE ALREADY SPENT TOGETHER, EACH TIME CHOOSING WHATEVER FORM WOULD KEEP YOU CLOSEST LIKE OTTERS HOLDING HANDS IN A TUMULTUOUS RIVER. YOU WERE BIRDS, YOU WERE TREES WITH ROOTS ENTANGLED, DRINKING IN THE SUNLIGHT TOGETHER. WHEREVER WE GO NEXT, WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE, I WILL ALWAYS BE RIGHT WITH YOU.

(sorry for the long quote but it's kind of important here)

He gets way too specific here, even going into the first person to begin talking about how he will always be there for you. In the Book of Bill, the main concept is that Bill is attempting to win over the reader in order to convince them to make a deal with him and, therefore, release him from the Theraprism, and he seems to be doing the same thing here with the reader.

However, in my opinion, because for the majority of this he talks about you using third person pronouns, it can be somewhat inferred that he is talking about himself and his soulmate. Not specified who that is (totally not the canonically divorced couple), but it can definitely be interpreted as him doing some introspection.

The references to loss of memory could also be a reference to how Stanley defeated Bill by wiping his memory, and how up until the last minute, Bill believed that he was back in Stanford's mind.

"THOUSANDS OF LIFETIMES" could be a reference to the trillions of years that Bill has lived and all of his exes, as well as how in every single one, he was the one getting broken up with. And, also, the many other muses that he (unconfirmed) may have had.

THAT'S DONE, BUDDY, CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE CHOSEN BILL INSTEAD.

Moving on!!

2. Bill's control over souls

**As far as I am aware, this is the first time in the canon that we see what control Bill has over the souls that he collects.

GOOD GOD! THE THINGS S I’VE SEEN. ME_ WHO AM I_ OH_ I_M BILL_S PREVIOUS LAWYER_ HE PUT MY SOUL INTO A QUILL PEN SO I CAN WRITE HIS LEGAL DOCUMENTS UNTIL THE SUN SNUFFS OUT LIKE A CANDLE IN THIS SICK UNIVERSE_ SPEAKING OF WHICH_ BILL RESERVES THE RIGHT TO PUT YOUR SOUL INTO AN INANIMANT OBJECT_ A STRANGE CREATURE_ A CONCEPT_ A SENTENCE_ A TASTEFUL BUT RUSTIC MASON JAR WITH WILDFLOWERS IN IT_ IF AT ANY POINT YOU WISH TO HAVE VISITATION RIGHTS WITH YOUR SOUL_ YOU WILL BE SWIFTLY DENIED_

According to this, Bill's control over souls when signed over gives him the ability to, (as first shown in Sock Opera, but in a more limited way) put souls into other objects, take them out of your body. While put in a more simplistic way in this passage, it is clear that he has a lot of control over souls, and, when signed away, may have the ability to do anything with one that he wants.

However, going back to the mischaracterisation present in the first quote where it sounds as if Bill is talking, now that we know it was his pen, it is clear that he also has the ability to control the souls to do what he wants.

The time limit on how long these soul contracts last for is indefinite, as Bill's soul lawyer himself says.

*Side note: it is revealed, in relation to souls, that the human soul is 21 grams.

3. The afterlives of the universe of Gravity Falls

So, later in this passage, all of the places that you can go to after you die are revealed. This is mainly important because you can see more of the in-universe lore, but also because we can see more of what Bill Cipher was hoping to happen when he invoked the Axolotl at the end of the series.

YOUR SOUL MAY BECOME FRACTURED AND PLACED INTO DIFFERENT OBJECTS_ THIS HAS NO  PURPOSE AND WILL NOT RESURRECT YOU IF YOU DIE_ SIGNEE HAS FORFEITED ALL RIGHTS TO ANY AFTERLIFE_ INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO HEAVEN_ HELL_ PURGUTORY_ BIG CORNER_ FLOW STATE_ THE DREAM HOUSE_ THE REINCARNATION PROCESSING CENTER_ AXOLOTL_ S TANK AND CONSEQUENCES HOLD_

A definitive list of all of the afterlives present within universe:

Heaven, Hell and Purgatory

"Big Corner"

"Flow State"

"The Dream House" <- The Dream House could possibly be a reference to either Bill's Dream Realm or Bill's Nightmare realm.

"The Reincarnation Processing Center" <- This is where I believe Bill was hoping to go once he invoked the Axolotl. Going by what he said in the last few moments of Weirdmageddon 3, "A-X-O-L-O-T-L! My time has come to burn! I invoke the ancient power that I may return!" It is clear that he thought he was going to be able to reincarnate by invoking the Axolotl, and by doing this, he would be able to escape going to hell.

"AXOLOTL" <- This is a reference to summoning the Axolotl when about to die, such as what Bill did. Axolotls are known for being able to regenerate, so going back to what I said before, Bill probably believed that invoking the Axolotl would give him the ability to reincarnate or regenerate.

"S TANK AND CONSEQUENCES HOLD" I'm pretty sure that this is a longform name for the Theraprism.

More Notes:

The passage is written entirely in the cipher for the journals rather than any of the codes that Bill often uses (alchemic, theraprism, combined, bill's symbols) which I believe ties back to my theory in 1.

While dogs can sense when a soul is missing, cats don't care. Not important, I just thought that was interesting.

anyway, again: if i got anything wrong in this please rb this and add more stuff!! :3

[fluorescentbalaclava]

training season's over

chapter 1: Ground Zero

Summary:

After 5 years of service in KorTac, they consider you capable enough to hold yourself in solo missions. Money and freedom, what else could you ask for? But what feels like a good start, progressively starts to backfire.

TF141/female reader, Konig/female reader

spy reader, forced bonding, slow burn, slow build, militar inaccuracies, suggestive language, language, canon typical violence

This is an introductory chapter. Mandatory mention that English isn't my first language so apologies in advance. Hope you enjoy!

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Movies were absolutely right in one thing, one of the big parts in the life of a spy consisted in being shoved into small spaces for a bit too much time, mostly air vents. A little fact they forgot to add, is how fucking boring it could be while you waited for the for the moment to act.

They are late. You thought as you rested your head against the wall of the same air vent you’ve been in for the last forty-six minutes.

1900 – You were dropped in a nearby building by a car without a number plate, property of KorTac.

1920 - You’ve managed to catch a maintenance man smoking a cigarette on his break, successfully making him nap with an always handy syringe of tranquilizer, stealing his card, as well as his overall and cap, using it to sneak inside the building. Once you got inside, you saw the maintenance cart, and you used it to hide your tool bag. The way up wasn’t too complicated, as everyone seemed to respect the uniform, probably assuming something just needed to be fixed, and since you had the maintenance key card, you didn’t have to ask for permission to get through doors.

1945 – You were already on the roof, after what felt like a life climbing stairs to avoid most of the cameras, you discarded the uniform, and got everything needed from your bag before letting it hang from your back. You walked to the edge of the roof, big fall but not a big gap between buildings, you knew you could make the jump, but before that, you pressed the comm.

“Sage to Control, how copy?” You said quietly, while taking a moment while you wait to admire the view of the city. Perfect October day, the night already fell, the cold breeze hit your face, making you lift your face mask, only leaving your eyes uncovered. The streets beneath were full of traffic, full of lights, full of life.

“Control to Sage, send traffic.” Your station chief said through the comm, reminding you that you were here for work, not to admire the view.

“I’m in my first position, everything peachy so far. Remind me to check on the tied-up janitor in the alleyway on my way back”.

“For now, just try to get in there without a fuss. Remember---”

“I know, no execution authority, don’t get caught, recovery mission only. Get the intel without the 141 noticing, got it. I’m not a rookie anymore, remember? Playing on the big leagues now” You said with a hint of amusement, and the man behind the comm could hear the smile on your voice, which made him sigh.

“Listen, Sage, I know the first solo mission sounds exciting, but König was right to be worried when we left. The 141 is a dangerous unit, you must avoid contact by any means necessary…I don’t even know why they’re sending you alone in this, I think it’s a bit irrespon---”

“---sible to send a rookie? Don’t worry, I am not planning on getting caught. And for your information, I am being sent because all the other spies from the force are already in other missions, and I’m the only one left that fits into an air vent…but honestly, it’ll be fine, and if not, please bury me with my Sylvanian Families collection.” You said as you were eyeing the jumping distance, letting out a grunt as you throw your tool bag, which landed in the roof of the other building. “141 is supposed to be here at 2030 according to the intel, right? I should get going to get in position. I will listen but I will have to cut contact from my end, update me on the status”.

“You have a Sylvanian Families collection?” The voice now sounded confused on the other side of the frequency.

“Unimportant now. Update me on the status of the guests every 15 minutes. Over” You said before cutting communication on your side.

You took a few steps back, before running to the edge and jumping, landing on your feet in the next roof, which made you feel a small sense of pride, and it was a shame no one was there to witness your dexterity skills

The briefing for this mission made it very clear that this was a very important one, hour after hour spent studying the blueprint of the building, the map of the air system, and going through multiple contingency plans for every scenario that could happen. Alone, back in your bunk bed, you felt that the blueprint was already burned into your eyelids. Not only that, but four manila folders were often read back-to-back by you, and four names were constantly in your head.

Price.

Ghost.

Soap.

Gaz.

The folders contained multiple transcriptions of some of their communications, information of previous deployments, and some of their personal data. You also got some files on your work laptop containing security videos obtained of them. They were not only clearly bigger than you, but their form didn’t stop them from being able to be sneaky and fast. If they found you around, for sure you were dead.

From the roof, you went down an air vent with the help of a rope, until you reached a horizontal vent, which allowed you to start crawling. It was easy from here, forward, then left, then right, and straight until you reached the vent over two hallways in the shape of a T, and in the hall at the side there was a large window with view to the city, where the 141 was supposed to arrive any minute now. The hall was empty, as the armed guards were outside, protecting the three doors that connected the main building to the halls, and there it was, a heavy metal door that led to the office when the needed intel was. Some files about imports and exports, you weren’t really given much information about them, only their label to be able to identify them and the order to burn the rest of the papers.

Going down the air vent to the office wasn’t an option, as it would trigger the security system, the only way was to get in from the front with the keycard but get it from the guards directly would get the attention of the rest of them, going against the orders of being subtle. You had to wait for the 141, and use them as a distraction, knock the guard, steal the keycard, create further distractions, steal the files and leave a charge of explosives in the office. Easy-peasy.

“Control to Sage. They were dropped by a helo on the top of the building. Get ready to act. Over” The words snapped you out of your boredom, and you already felt your body pumping adrenaline to get you ready to move.

Soon enough, a loud crash of glass broke the silence, followed by three loud stomps on the floor, making the shattered glass on the floor crack underneath their boots. They seemed even bigger in person but given their entrance they were stealthier in the recorded footage.

“Bravo 0-7 to Watcher-1. We are in position, waiting for contact” A husky voice said, and you recognized the man as Ghost, which wasn’t hard considering he was wearing the same skull mask as in the files. The three men had their arms ready, and you heard the sound of the keycard granting access, soon followed by gunshots. The first ones to go down were the guards of the hall that was beneath you, the two dead bodies falling into the ground. But the group didn’t have a rest as guards started shooting from the other doors, and from the fallen guards corpses you could hear how they others were calling for back ups through the comms.

Shit. Be fast.

You opened the vent grid, the sound of shooting covering the sounds of metal, and taking advantage of the situation, you threw a smoke grenade at their feet.

“Fuck!” Another voice said as smoke starting to cloud the vision of a part of the hall. You quickly dropped from the air vent, your feet barely making any sound against the ground, and you crouched, stealing the key card from the dead guard, and quickly making your way to the office, not before throwing another smoke grenade at them to keep them busy.

The key card granted you access, deactivating the security system, and you quickly entered the empty office, hearing some coughing from the outside, and more shooting and screaming that got muffled as soon as you closed the door. You quickly put a chair on the door, in case they would try to get in, it would grant you some more minutes.

You searched through the office, not bothering to be tidy, just dropping the papers on the floor…and then you found the file, a twinkle of excitement appeared in your eyes as you put the folder in your mouth, stepping over the desk and taking from your bag a little box of tools. You took out a screwdriver, and tried to rapidly, but calmly, unscrew the grid of the air vent. Your eyes widened when you heard a loud “Clear!” from down the hallway, followed by heavy footsteps. You managed to make the grid fell, and you swiftly climbed into it. Once up there, you threw the explosives down the office with a detonator, which grant you three minutes to crawl your way out of the air vent. As you passed by, you could see the task force going through the corpses to find a keycard.

“Found one, LT” You heard underneath you, as one of them stood up, holding a key card. Mohawk = Soap, you thought to yourself.

“Wait, you hear that?” Another one says. Pretty boy = Gaz.

You stopped on your tracks, not even breathing. Before you heard a gasp for air coming from a guard, followed by a shot.

“Found it” Ghost answered.

You felt relief flooding your body, but you couldn’t enjoy your small victory properly as the sound of the explosion left your ears ringing. A heavy warmth flooded the air vent, and under you, the sound of glass, grunts and three heavy bodies falling onto the ground. Your ears were still ringing, the heat was slowly becoming unbearable, and the smell of smoke flooded the narrow space as you tried to crawl faster through it.

As you reached the vertical vent, you used your ascender and quickly got to the top. You gasped for air as you felt the cold autumn breeze on your face. As your eyes adjusted to the night, you saw the ropes and some other equipment the 141 left behind them. It wasn’t time to rest yet, as you took the file out of your mouth, saving it to your bag, before throwing it across the gap and into the roof you came from. Soon enough, you followed after, jumping across the gap between both buildings.

Your fall wasn’t as graceful as the first, accidentally missing a step and landing on your knees with a grunt. But you let yourself fall on your back against the concrete. Your face felt like it was burning, the breeze was pleasant against your flushed skin, your clothes and hair reeking of smoke, but once again oxygen was filling your lungs. As you catch your breath, you pressed your comm.

“Sage to Control. How copy?” You asked in a low voice, panting.

“Control to Sage. Are you okay?” The voice quickly answered.

“Yeah, yeah, got the intel. I’m in one piece. Ready for extraction, a shower, and a nap”

“Copy, Sage. Picking you up on the alley, remember to untie the handy man”.

Back in the base the mission was considered so successful that for the next few months your rank went from sergeant to "Task Force 141 shadow" as the first mission and your survival rate apparently meant that you were the first choice for any mission that involved them. They considered the indirect approach worked better than directly engaging in combat against them, which left casualties between the KorTac ranks in the past.

Every mission for intel they had, you were behind them, lurking in the shadows, waiting for them to just start shooting to use the confrontation as a distraction to get to the target first. It was funny to hear them frustrated and annoyed over the comms when they realized that once more, they lost the intel. And then it's fate was obvious once KorTac put it on the market, selling it to the best bidder, or sometimes even using it to complete their own missions.

"You have to be careful, maus. I know you think it's fun, but they're dangerous, like us" You found cute when König used pet names. It was truly amazing how such a unit of a man was capable of being soft at the same time, ever since you started working there under his command until now.

But lately you didn't feel like a mouse, you felt like a hyena or a vulture, just scavenging while the bigger predators weren't looking.

"It's alright, don't worry, bud. I promise you I'm being as careful as I've always been" You said in a reassuring tone, a soft smile on your lips, and you squeezed his arm as he was sitting across you on the common room, a hot tea brewing in front of you.

"That's why I'm worried" König had an unsure look, under his sniper hood, his eyes fixated on your mug, rather than you. And you could tell he was anxious by the way he was shaking his leg. "Just don't leave any tracks, ja?"

What you weren't going to admit to him, is that you were growing slightly fond of the task force you so dutifully followed around. During these months you learned plenty of things about them, just by staying hidden and listening, like Ghost's dad jokes, Gaz unluckiness with helicopters, Soap's preference to play as a goalkeeper while playing football.

You blamed the growing one-sided familiarity by the fact that your new assignments made you spend lots of hours alone, lurking, stalking, in position ready to strike the moment things unfold. Back in base, and since you started to work alone, it was only in rare occasions you were at the same time as your old unit, the opportunities to catch up with them and being social becoming scarce.

And they seemed to be so close, so used to each other, so comfortable to even use their names sometimes. You had to admit you weren't used to that. You didn't even know König actual name let alone his face, and even if other members were more open about their names, their backgrounds were still vague. Not that you were an open book, as you only went by your callsign, your real name a secret between your contractors and you. But back in KorTac the less you knew, the better. It's probably for the best, anyway. Another very possible reason for your newfound fondness was the fact that after every successful mission came a very generous check. In fact, so generous that it was enough, plus your savings, to purchase a flat. Not too fancy, but cozy and big enough for you and your things, and something to call your own as well.

Moving in was tedious, lots of boxes and newspapers wrapped around the fragile stuff, and you were too tired from work to really unpack everything, leaving only the necessary items out. You definitely needed to have dinner and have a nocturnal nap before you keep on unpacking stuff, and the other things weren't as urgent. Besides, it would be a few weeks before your next mission, so you had plenty of time to enjoy settling down in your new home and looking around the neighbourhood. For now, you could really use some food, and at this hour you certainly weren't going to cook. You grabbed your jacket and went down the street.

Thankfully, there was a Chinese place in a five-minute walk. There were lots of people around, going to pubs, as it was a bit of a commercial area. It was nice, some fairy lights, some decorations, people sharing drinks, laughing, you could get used to walking around here. You ordered a serve of chow mein and three spring rolls, got it in a bag and made your way back to your flat.

The building you lived in now was a bit old, so you had a fob for the main entrance and a key for your flat. The door creaked a bit when you opened it, and you closed it behind you, but as you turned around you bumped into something that felt almost like colliding against a brick wall, you turned around and you saw some hands inside a mailbox.

"So sorry, si---" You said looking up and as soon as your eyes focused on the figure you felt how your face went pale, and how all the blood of your body went to your legs, your mind screaming you to flee.

Black eyes stared back at you, and that was the only part you could see, as the rest of the face was covered by a balaclava with a skull print on it. Fuck...

"Staring is rude" That husky voice you were so used to hearing through a comm sounded so clear, and the grip on the takeaway bag tightened.

The fuck is Ghost doing here.

"I-I..." You had to clear your throat, to manage any words out. "Sorry, I'm usually more polite, you just...caught me off guard."

"Haven't seen you here before" He lives here?! No way. This is a trap.

"Moved in this morning" You answered as flatly as you could.

"Ah" He said in an uninterested tone, as he went back to check the mail.

You couldn't help but stare up at him, completely dumbfounded. He was wearing a hoodie covering his head, blank pants, and heavy boots. Why isn't he attacking me? Does he know who I am? What the fuck is this? Jesus, I could throw up.

"Can I help you with something?" He answered in the same tone, not bothering to look back at you a second time.

"You live here?"

"Third floor" He answered plainly.

"Ah" Does he genuinely just lives here? No way, they're setting me up. "Why check the mail at night?"

"Just arrived" He answered as he broke one of the envelopes and checked it's contents. Light bill, and you heard him cursing under his breath.

He is so much taller up close.

"Right…alright, see you around…" You said before quickly going up the stairs, so taken aback that you completely forgot about the elevator.

You arrived to your flat, a bit agitated, and closed the door with the lock behind you. And added a chair under the doorknob, for good measure.

You left the food on the table, and quickly went to grab one of your guns. A SIG Sauer P320, and you checked every room, not that there were many rooms to check. The bedroom, the living-dining room, and the bathroom. Both for people and for cameras or mics, but everything looked normal, nothing out of the ordinary, nothing out of place. Lock the windows just in case.

After your thorough search, you sat at your dinner table, left the gun next to you, before beginning to unpack your food. You ate as your eyes were fixated on the door, waiting for someone to come in shooting, for a team, for a raid, anything.

0000 – No contact.

0100 – No contact.

0200 – Still no contact.

0300 – Fuck, I’m tired.

Not today, it seems...fuck, this isn't a coincidence, out of all the buildings in this fucking island he lives here? No bloody way. They know.

next: chapter two "charlie foxtrot"

if you like it leave me some kudos or suggestions on ao3! <3

[flickering-nightfall]

I’m pretty sure that you made a post explaining why the arm is not the umbilical but I can’t find it, so, if you did make one, can you give a link to it? Sorry if you didn’t make one, I don’t have very good memory.

I'm not entirely sure which post that is but it sounds like something I'd ramble about? I have this post talking about making a 3D umbilical and this post talking about making a 3D arm with allusions to that buuut...

If that post doesn't exist then I'll make one right now!

Here, I made a diagram of terminology I use for the puppet/arm/umbilical structure. These terms aren't necessarily canon - they're just what I use.

As for umbilicals being different from mechanical arms, it's an interpretation, I think. But there's reasons why I call them different things.

So first here's this Moon dialogue.

(I think that's vanilla dialogue? The wiki confuses me sometimes. Link here if you want to see it yourself.)

We can assume from that dialogue that the wires + cord are the "umbilical." Moon's are obviously cut, but Pebbles' are not. And Moon's puppet is still attached to her mechanical arm.

(Lots more under the cut)

Umbilicals in real life resemble the wire/cord structure far more than the mechanical arm portion does. So that's another reason I refer to the wire/cord as the umbilical.

Lemme slap some stuff from my iterator headcanons doc here.

I like interpreting the puppet as a place to focus an iterator's consciousness. It acts as a sensory hub and a means to interact more finely with their surroundings. Neurons, in turn, are active memory comparable to RAM. Moon refers to Pebbles' imprints on his neurons as "a ghost left from his processing routines." They're not meant for long-term memory storage, but upper processes such as, well... thinking... cannot be done without them. So removing neurons affects an iterator’s ability to encode, recall, and process information. (Courtesy of my friend Folly, I also think they're mostly made out of fat. Kind of gross to eat.) Although Moon's umbilical is severed, she is still able to see through and control the movements of her puppet. So either she has some sort of other connection to the rest of her can, or her consciousness comes from the puppet rather than the can. The mechanical arm’s functions would be mostly structure-to-puppet function (control movements of arm and puppet, transmit the sensory information of the puppet) while the wire/cord handles more consciousness-in-puppet-to-structure function (facilitates awareness and control over superstructure and all that encompasses). So both the cord and the arm are part of the iterator-to-puppet connection, but the cord is more important. I feel like with the wire OR the arm's internals intact, the iterator can maintain perception of the puppet. When you give Moon an overseer eye, she says, “I am not much more than what you are looking at - a little creature in a box.” This can be literal, or it can imply that her perception is just limited to what she can see through her puppet in her damaged state.

In Rivulet’s campaign, the rarefaction cell could be partial compensation for a missing umbilical. Moon can move on her arm, call up image projections, reconnect to her overseers, and broadcast locally to Pebbles after getting the rarefaction cell. She refers to it as finally having her freedom back. But we don't know how many of her systems she does or does not have access to anymore.

If you eat one of Pebbles' neurons in front of him as Rivulet he says "I would appreciate if you would not eat those. My umbilical will keep me conscious, but every neuron lost is a piece of me lost as well..." We know that Pebbles keeps his wires/cord/arm connected in Saint's campaign, though, and he remains conscious despite having no visible neurons. Does the umbilical compensate for the lack of neurons as well? Maybe there are some still alive in the structure that we can’t see, and the umbilical allows him to stay connected to them.

...honestly, I think downpour makes questions about umbilicals harder to answer than if you only base off of vanilla lore. But I like working with downpour stuff, so oh well.

One last thing - the wiki page for Moon also says this under her trivia: "Looks to the Moon is still connected to the wall by her umbilical, but the damaged hardware lacks power to let her move around." Other references to umbilicals written throughout the wiki imply the arm is the umbilical as well. But! I don't know where the writers of that got that information. I don't think there's anything in the game that confirms that the umbilical and the arm are the same. If there's anything in the game that supports that, let me know~

So to summarize: I think evidence suggests the wires + cord are the umbilical because Moon refers to hers being cut. The mechanical arm could also be a part of the umbilical, or it be considered a different part that provides function in a different way. I usually refer to them separately, but that's just me, and I mostly do it for the sake of clarity. It's not confirmed canon.

There are a lot of things about Rain World lore you can run in circles around for hours, but not find any definitive conclusions for. It's part of the fun even if it drives me nuts sometimes. Come be confused with me :)

[characteranalyst]

Phayu Character Analysis : The Man With a Borrowed Halo and One Foot in Hell

“My brother is far from simple, you’ll get burned if you don’t know how to play with fire” - Saifah

Gather round LITA obsessed children for an in depth analysis of our resident Daddy Dom Brat Tamer Phayu who Christian Grey wished he was and tried to be. You either hate him, love him, want to be him or all of the above.

I know PhayuRain’s arc seems like on the surface just a fluffy little romance with no need for lengthy think pieces.  But I’m obsessed with their dynamic and I could not let the hyper-fixation pass before doing a character analysis. Phayu haunts the periphery of dreams and I am hoping that this analysis will help me exorcise this beautiful spectre so I can finally know peace.

As much as I would genuinely love to crack open his skull and unspool all of his thoughts and motivations I cannot do that. So disclaimer obviously this will just be conjecture and my opinion and I am going to try and stick as closely as possible to canon and refrain from falling into head canon territory.

I have read Love Storm but I’m only going to be referencing how Phayu behaves in the series because I prefer that version of him. Also this is going to be a very LONGGGG post. I have many thoughts on this man. Feel free to skim through or save it to read for some other time.

I am mainly going to be speaking about the main character traits that I have observed from him and how he relates to the rest of the characters in the series. I think I am going to make a separate analysis of his dynamic with Rain because going in depth with that would be too much for me to mention here. 

Alright let’s get into it.

(1) EARLY CHILDHOOD AND YOUNG ADULTHOOD

We are given little to no information on his childhood and or young adulthood. What we do know is that his parents left him and Saifah an incredible house and the luxury garage so we can assume that they weren’t strapped for cash.  

Him and Saifah seem like two relatively well adjusted young men so I guess we can assume that there was little to no childhood trauma. In episode 6 during their pillow talk Phayu tells Rain that his parents are off living in Korat and enjoying their lives, I’m assuming. So I guess they’re not divorced. So he has no ‘separated parents’ trauma to deal with.

The only thing that gives us a little insight into how his childhood affected who he became as a person was when he told Rain the story of how his mother always used to argue with his father about how he could fix bikes beautifully but he could not build a house for them.

So Phayu decided that he was going to ensure that he was able to fulfil both by becoming a mechanic and an architect. I think from this we can conclude that Phayu is an overachiever and this displays his seemingly constant need to be perfect and the best.

I think this may also come from a child’s instinctual need to please their caretakers and make them proud. Phayu also seems like someone who has had a Type A personality from birth. In contrast to Saifah who seems like a little more laid back more go with the flow type.

From this little snippet of information we can also assume that his affinity for being a mechanic was either inherited from his father or taught to him and Saifah.

In conclusion it’s safe to say that Phayu does not really seem to have any trauma to speak of, he's just kinky.  I like the fact he doesn’t have any heavy trauma or unsavoury character traits (well I take this back he’s a little pushy and manipulative) he needs to get over. There is beauty in this simplicity where as a result, the majority of the narrative is focused on Phayu Rain falling in love with each other.

(2)   PHAYU AND HIS AIR OF MYSTERY (DR JEYKLL AND MR HYDE)

One thing that stood out to me when we as an audience were introduced to Phayu was his air of mystery. Everyone knows of him of course because he has been knighted as the God of the faculty of architecture.  But we see quickly that very few people actually know him personally. We can see how this fact plays out in the series through the following examples:

Pun says that she has no idea what kind of business Phayu runs but it's ok because she likes a man with a little mystery. (Episode 1)

Phayu refuses to tell Rain what he likes to eat on their first date because he says that Rain has to know him a lot longer before he can ‘snoop for information’ as he puts it. (Episode 3)

Phayu shares only a little information about his life with his senior Mhok before abruptly cutting the conversation short so as to not reveal too much information about his personal life. (Episode 4)

Phayu only reveals deep information about himself and his parents and childhood to Rain after their second time during pillow talk. (Episode 6)

He also doesn’t really seem to have close friends except for Prapai and Saifah. I don’t really think Saifah counts because he’s more of an unwilling captive because they have to share everything that their parents left them. I really don’t think they would even be friends if they weren’t brothers honestly because of their differing personalities. 

I think this ability to guard what he reveals to people helps maintain his mystique. There needs to be a certain level of distance and holding people at arm’s length that needs to take place in order for people to project their fantasies onto him and build him up as some sort of God among men.

I think the reason people idolise Phayu and like him so much is because they like the idea of him rather than the reality of him. I think if more people knew who he actually was in reality, they would be put off by how intense he is.

Rain seems like the only person who had become disillusioned with the idea of Phayu. After the debacle in Episode 1 he sees Phayu not as his ‘cool handsome big bike bro” but as a pushy piece of shit bastard that tried to assault him. I also think some of his anger towards Phayu had to do with him being confused by his feelings for him;  creating a cocktail of confusion for poor Rain to sort out. So he was able to view Phayu as a person and not place him on a pedestal like other people do.

I think this is what PhayuRain’s relationship needed to flourish as well because Phayu needs someone who is able to challenge him. We are well aware of how much he loves brats. The worshipful gaze of Som and Pun would not be satisfactory for him because they had him on a pedestal and were blinded by their idea of him so they would readily submit to him without much push back.

He needed someone with a backbone who could engage in a sort of push and pull relationship with him and our adorable little firecracker Rain was the perfect match. Phayu has people falling at his feet daily; he was in need of much more excitement than that.

Like the story of the titular character Dr.Jekyll a well-respected scientist who used his alter ego Mr.Hyde to delve into the darker side of science without repentance or taking responsibility; Phayu has that same sort of duality. I think Phayu keeps his kinky side under wraps and he’s very careful about whom he shows that part of himself to. Presumably only his lovers or potential lovers get to see his ‘bad side’.

So his DR JEKYLL would be, so to speak,the Phayu that is seen as a smart, capable, polite, helpful and well-adjusted young man, loved by all and sought after by many. This is the Phayu that would leave a random stranger his set square with an encouraging message about his future in architecture.

On the flip side his MR HYDE would be Dom Daddy Brat Tamer Phayu with a penchant for sadism and degradation.

At the end of the day both sides come together to make up who Phayu is as a person and there is nothing inherently wrong with his Mr. Hyde as long as he is able to channel it and engage with it safely with willing participants. Fortunately for him, he has Rain for that.

(3) WONKY MORAL COMPASS BUT STRINGENT PERSONAL RULES 

I really had a hard time dissecting this part. But I have come to the conclusion that Phayu deserves to be labelled as a morally grey or morally ambiguous person. I really have a soft spot for morally grey characters in media or literature. 

It makes the narrative far more interesting to follow. In real life however I would run in the opposite direction and call the police. But this isn’t supposed to be real, it's supposed to be a fantasy so I’m not going to go too much in depth about Phayu’s moral failings. This show doesn’t take itself too seriously so I’m not going to either.

Phayu is not a ‘nice’ person plain and simple and he knows it, contrary to Pun’s expository gushing in the first episode of the show when she refers to him as “super-duper nice”. After the spanking incident in Episode 2 (which was wild now that I think of it) where Rain declares that he is going to make him fall in love with him he says to himself;

 “You’re going to make me fall in love with you but do you know what kind of man I am.”

I think Phayu says this because he knows himself thoroughly the good, the bad and the ugly. Phayu has overcome himself. He has recognized all his shortcomings, all his base desires, all his lowliness, all the self-imposed restraints he places upon himself and overcome them. 

Phayu also strikes me as someone who has engaged with his shadow self and explored the parts of his psyche that most of us would repress and compartmentalise because we are too ashamed of our darkness to engage with it.

He has looked his darkness in the face and come to terms with it. That is why he says, "Do you know what kind of man I am?", because he understands people’s perception of him lies in stark contrast to his unsavoury character traits.

I also think his dabbling in BDSM has given him the room and space to conduct such exploration of himself in a safe, sane and consensual way. I think the nature of BDSM can afford people an outlet to engage with their own darkness and sort through it so that it doesn’t manifest in their life in other ways.

In Episode 1 we see where Prapai likens him to the devil (jokingly) but under every joke there is definitely some truth. If Prapai is calling him that it must be the truth because as we know Prapai looks like his only close friend.

We can assume that Prapai is incredibly familiar with Phayu’s Mr. Hyde as we can presume that they know each other very well so his assessment of dubbing Phayu as a devil must be accurate. 

Also head canon (I know I said I was going to refrain from going into head canon territory but please indulge me a bit) I’m sure they’ve fucked before in a bro-ish kind of way. I mean their both hot and bi and Prapai’s a sub in top’s clothing (I know Dom/sub and top/bottom are two separate things just enjoy the joke you know what I mean)  so it’s not far fetched to think they would have at some time fucked around a bit. 

Although I know Phayu is hardly the correct type of Dom for Prapai’s specific brand of subbiness. The point is I think that Prapai would be privy to Phayu’s true nature and how much of a little shit he can be when he isn’t using his powers for good.

In Episode 5 Saifah, the only other person we see having a close relationship with Phayu refers to him as a Devil as well.

I just know these two have witnessed some shit over the years of knowing Phayu that warranted him being referred to as a Devil.

Discussing Phayu’s moral code is very weird because it’s obvious that he doesn’t really adhere to a normal set of rules. We can assume he’s not particularly religious because it wasn’t mentioned.

I think Phayu is very domineering and kind of manipulative but at the same time he commands an air of respect. He is not necessarily what you would expect from someone who is so widely lauded as an exemplary person.

What also struck me about Phayu was the fact although his moral code seems a little flexible he has a few hard and fast non-negotiable rules that may seem arbitrary to someone like Rain but to him it may as well be gospel. 

One of these rules in the show is seen where we see he has a big thing for respect. We see an example of this when he calls Rain after he picks up his car from the garage and he tells Rain that only ill-mannered boys don’t greet the owner of the house when they stop by. He also ends the call by telling Rain to be respectful. We also see his thing for rules when he tells Rain that he doesn’t like ill-mannered boys and that he should address him as P’Phayu emphasising the use of honorifics.

Phayu is also a man of his word in Episode 7 when Rain tells Phayu that he will unleash his wrath on him if he ever cheats on him. Phayu just laughs and says he will never let Rain down. He holds true to this in the Special Episode when Rain accuses him of cheating on him with Natsu he utters the same sentiment that he promised to never let Rain down. This man looked absolutely horrified at the accusation like he wouldn’t even dream of it.

I think his strict adherence to rules other than him being a Dom could also be influenced by his exposure and affiliation with the likes of P’Pakin and P’Chai.  He knows that there will be dire consequences if the rules aren’t strictly adhered to. This is why he curses Stop for mentioning the race in public and he reprimands Rain for thoughtlessly wandering into the illegal street race without permission to be there.

BUT ON THE FLIP SIDE

He’s so stringent about ensuring that Rain is polite and respectful but he thinks it’s perfectly fine to tamper with Rain’s car so that he would have an excuse to be his knight in shining armour and save him so they could hook up. The math is not mathing at all. I know he’s an experienced mechanic and he wouldn’t have tampered with anything that would have led Rain getting in an accident and getting injured but still. WEIRD BEHAVIOUR KHUN PHAYU!!!!!! Also don’t even get me started on him using the debt of fixing Rain’s car as some weird way to stalk him??? RED FLAGGGGGG!! His methods of courtship definitely need some fine tuning. 

In conclusion his contradictory moral code gives me whiplash trying to figure out where on the scale from angel to devil I should place him. But I think he’s just human. No one is all good and all bad and I think that Mame writes very human raw characters that make you feel something. I’ll give credit where credit is due.

(4) AN EERIE LEVEL OF SELF CONTROL AND THE PATIENCE OF A SAINT 

This man probably never has New Year’s Resolutions because he’s already operating at optimal condition. Phayu is portrayed to be quite literally always in control. The only time he looks undone is after THAT SCENE in Episode 6.

We see this self-control manifest in the way he makes love to Rain in a very formulaic, worshipful and almost performative manner. Gently throwing Rain’s head back, holding his hands down and caging his body. Rain responds in kind to his dominance by always baring his throat in submission and allowing his body to go lax under Phayu’s ministrations.

It’s so gentle but he’s still being dominant and in control. While Rain always looks halfway between heaven and earth during these scenes Phayu always seems wholly present and tethered to earth (like a good Dom should be) creating a space in which his precious sub can feel safe enough to fly out of this stratosphere.

The subtlety with which he maintains control makes me absolutely feral. There is hardly any jostling or manhandling but it’s still forceful. I think a great example of the subtlety of how Phayu displays his dominance can be seen in the PhayuRain make-out scene in Episode 5.

The natural way he cages Rain’s neck to control the flow of the kiss.

The way he stop kissing Rain when Rain tries to lead and he put a finger to his lips in a way that almost screams “Relax I’m in charge here.”

Unlike our donut firecracker Rain (my sweet boy) that was ready to scrap at the first sign of disrespect, Phayu seems like he is not one to resort to violence if they could sort it out by just talking and coming to an amicable solution.

We can see an example of this where Phayu refused to be baited by Stop into fighting with him even though Stop was about to punch him at the night racing circuit in the beginning of Episode 6.

Also before the race between him and Stop where Stop was trying to rile him up. He was able to remain level headed while Stop immediately lost his cool and tried to fight him once again when Phayu insulted him.

I’m assuming this self-control is more nature than nurture. It seems like he is the type to have always been calm and self-contained. He doesn’t need to bark loudly because his competence and self-assuredness speaks volumes. 

He quite literally doesn’t yell often he just uses that husky dom voice. The only time he ever really raised his voice was when he was shouting at Rain in Episode 2 when he was worried that he could have gotten killed for sneaking into the illegal street circuit race.

The thing about dominance and control that I think people like Stop with fragile egos get wrong is that they think it comes from a place of aggression, peacocking and forcing people to bow to your will. This is however not the sort of dominance that will truly gain you respect and have people willingly obey you.

Phayu’s dominance and control comes from a place of nurturing and caring and people only defer to him and his authority because he has proven time and time again that he is capable of shouldering the responsibility of what this control entails and he has consequently gained their respect because of it.

(5) PRIDE GOES BEFORE A FALL 

No matter how level headed he is and self-control he possesses he’s still a man and he has been socialised to exist as a man. So he’s not above engaging in a motorcycle race with an asshole like Stop to prove a point and because of his pride.

I like how this moment humanised Phayu and showed how no matter how above petty human emotions he seems, he’s still liable to fall victim to making decisions based on ego.

However, I like that he was self-aware enough to realise that he was indeed only participating in this race because of his pride because he says to Rain when he tries to stop him some things just don’t have an explanation. 

We can contrast him racing Stop because of his pride and him kneeling before Stop and crawling to save Rain from being hurt. Although he has an ego he was more than willing to put pride aside to ensure Rain’s safety.

(SIDENOTE- I died watching the kidnapping ordeal in episode 7 that shit was so unserious. The picture of Rain that Stop sent Phayu lives in my head rent free and I cackle from time to time because of it.) 

(6) “P’PHAYU LHOR MAKKKKK!” – Pun  (PRETTY PRIVILEGE AND THE HALO EFFECT)

Physical appearance is often a major part of the halo effect. People who are considered attractive tend to be rated higher as possessing positive traits in contrast to people who aren’t considered conventionally attractive.

I think beauty can be blinding and make people more willing to overlook people’s misgivings. As the halo effect states people are more likely to project good qualities on to people they deem to be conventionally attractive.

As I said when I was addressing his air of mystery; because people are so predisposed to projecting all these good qualities on Phayu the distance and the space that he creates between him and other people can be filled with these projections and good qualities so that they build him up in their minds as this amazing person.

This man radiates and secretes ungodly amounts of sex appeal without trying. So I think his general attractiveness is one of the reasons as well why Rain had a hard time getting people to believe that Phayu was a pushy manipulative little asshole in the beginning.

Do I think Phayu would have commanded the same level of respect that he does without also being pretty? I don’t know to be honest. I do however think Phayu is an unintentional cautionary tale about the dangers of projecting good qualities on someone just because they’re attractive and being blind to their faults.

(7) SELF ASSURED, CONFIDENT AND CHARMING – CONCEITED?

I mean I’d be that confident too if I was rich, handsome, talented, smart ANDDDDD could fuck like a porn star but I digress. Very much a quiet confidence to him as was elaborated on when I spoke about the air of mystery. He is evidently very capable and consequently people rely on him and I think his self- assuredness comes from the fact that he can back up his claims because he has every right to be self-centred.

Without mincing words this man is very conceited. However although he is conceited he doesn’t lack empathy and he doesn’t seem too self-involved as evidenced by the way he ensures that he takes care of the people he cares about.

(8) PHAYU THE COMPULSIVE CARETAKER, CONCEITED BUT NOT SELF-INVOLVED

We see in Episode 4 how Phayu puts Rain’s needs before his by ensuring that Rain focuses on his school work and ensures that his development and advancement as a person comes before pursuing a romantic relationship with Phayu.

He ensures that Rain understands how slacking on his work in pursuance of other things will affect his work life and he lectures him while still comforting him after. I really liked this scene in Episode 3 because Phayu is able to help Rain because he’s older and more experienced and he’s gone through it before. I also like the fact that there isn’t a hint of condescension in his voice, just concern and wanting to ensure that Rain becomes the best version of himself.

Phayu shows how much he cares about Rain and is invested in making Rain a priority in his life in so many little ways. We can see in Episode 5 how Phayu leaves an important meeting to answer Rain’s text messages. Also in Episode 4 When Rain finishes his project early after an all-nighter and instead of sleeping he goes straight to Phayu. Phayu ensures that there is reciprocity in their relationship by saying that you missed out on sleep to come see me, so I'm going to hurry up and finish my work so we can hang out.

He makes an effort to help Rain finish his models like he promised to do in his speech in Episode 5. Also in Episode 4 he apologises to Rain for his phone dying and for making him wait for him in the rain. In Episode 6 after he almost gets in a fight with Stop the first thing he does is ask Rain if he’s alright even though he was the one that almost had a brawl with Stop.

I think we really see throughout the show how the way Phayu interacts with Rain takes on a sort of paternalistic tinge. The title of Daddy is incredibly fitting and I really just think this is him being a good Dom.

That’s why I think this is the reason Phayu looks so touched and taken aback when Rain and him first meet and he holds the umbrella for Phayu while he’s changing his tire. Phayu’s so used to being relied on and being assumed to be competent and well put together. He’s used to giving without expecting anything in return. So when Rain does this small act of kindness in an effort to repay this Good Samaritan, Phayu becomes fascinated with him. 

(9) ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS B.R. (Before Rain)

Was he possibly a whore? Not as much of a whore as Prapai but he has definitely spun the block. Whereas our beloved service top Prapai has built a gated community in which he resides on said block. Phayu had a condom stashed under that toy car so we know he was getting some action.

He was probably not a whore whore because as he said to Rain in the bathroom scene:

We all know why he’s particular. I don’t think he would have been able to find a lot of people willing to put up with his domineering attitude and controlling nature long term if they didn’t have that sort of kink no matter how insanely hot he is.

But there were definitely others before Rain if we can take cues from the offhanded comments of the other characters in the series. Saifah tells Rain in Episode 3 when he’s waiting for Phayu that there were others before him. Was it a lot of others though? The world may never know.

Saifah comments on the fact that Phayu has been single for a long time and Saifah tells him if he wants to be happy like him he should get in a serious relationship. So we can assume that long term romantic relationships for Phayu have more than likely been few and far between. He probably was not celibate though as we see how he was going to have a one night stand with Rain.

We see Saifah saying that he feels bad for whoever is making Phayu smile like that and how he warns him not to be too mean to Rain because he will run away. We can assume that others have been perturbed by how intense Phayu was in the past and they have run off.

I’m sure Saifah knows Phayu very well and even if he isn’t aware of the details of his kinkiness he knows Phayu has a thing about control and a mean streak. At least that’s what Saifah computes it as in his vanilla mind. I’m sure this poor man has heard and seen way too much. JUSTICE FOR SAIFAHH!!!!!!

Lastly before they get together Phayu constantly tests Rain to see if he can handle what a long term relationship with him would look like. I’m sure this comes from things not working out in the past and Phayu wanting to ensure that Rain can handle him.

We can see that Phayu may have abandonment issues from things not working out in the past with his romantic pursuits when in Episode 5 he’s scared and panicked and sad when Rain runs away after they have sex for the first time. I have three theories about this:

(1) He didn’t want to lose Rain because he’s a unicorn and he may never have hope of finding someone so perfect for him again.  

(2) He was abandoned before because he was too much and overbearing and it triggered him.

(3) He’s big on communication and he feels slighted that Rain ran away before they could discuss how their relationship would develop after they had sex for the first time.

It could have quite possibly been a combination of all of the above. Phayu seems like the type to be fully invested in a long term relationship and he seems like someone who loves deeply so I think him testing Rain was him just trying to ensure that Rain was worth the investment before he got too attached.

(10) PHAYU THE SCULPTOR ; HIS OBSESSION WITH POTENTIAL AND MOULDING THINGS TO HIS LIKING 

“Rain before you design a house you need to design your life first”- Phayu

I get the impression that Phayu’s view on life is that everything can be curated and tailored to his liking if he tries hard enough. He’s definitely not a go with the flow kind of person. Every single move he makes is intentional. Looking at his two professions being an architect and his side of job of being a mechanic; these are two things that require moulding, precision.

Architects are able to create and design and bring their vision to life and make it tangible. It’s a very creative profession with the added bonus of having something you designed realised in real life.

Also mechanics are constantly tinkering with engines and in control of powerful machinery. Whether they work on maintenance, diagnostics, or repairs, they have to perform those tasks with exacting detail. That is because this careful work on important vehicle components could save someone’s life.

This speaks to Phayu’s pedantic nature with the added element of not wanting to deal with the consequences of disappointing Pakin. These machines are kind of like a puzzle to be solved.

But the catch is those things aren’t really his and they don’t truly belong to him.

In Episode 3 we can infer that sometimes clients may criticize his designs and he has to mould it to their liking instead of relying on his own vision.

In Episode 1 Prapai tells him your babies are so beautiful (referring to the motorcycles) but Phayu corrects him and says that they don’t belong to him.

But I think that although he doesn’t own these things and that he may be required to tailor the design of a house to someone else’s liking still these tasks scratch his itch for moulding and creating.

Then *enter stage left* a wild Rain appears, a blank canvas unmarred by past sexual or romantic experience. He has no expectations and no idea how anything works so he’s able to become a sort of pliable clay that Phayu can use his deft fingers to mold to his liking consequently making Rain his.

We can are shown how their relationship is mutually beneficial and how it works for them. Different folks have different strokes.

The glint in his eyes and the way Phayu all but shivers in excitement every time Rain tells him he can’t do something. 

Episode 4 – "I’ll teach you"

Episode 6- "I'll train you to be the best rider"

In the infamous Daddy scene in the special episode he says "When I teach I teach to the core" 

It’s not explicitly stated but I’m sure this man got off constantly at the fact that he was Rain’s first everything when it came to sex and romance and he is constantly in charge of moulding him.

We can definitely see how much of a diligent student and quick learner Rain is and how Phayu is consequently able to enjoy the fruits of his labour. (SIDE NOTE: I’m sure Phayu wasn’t prepared for the monster he created in Rain.)

I love the reciprocity in their relationship as Phayu shows Rain just how desired he is and worships him constantly.

(11) WHY HE WAS DEFINITELY A KID WHO HATED SHARING HIS TOYS 

Phayu strikes me as a man who knows exactly what he wants and  how to obtain it and when he finds it he will hold on to it and never let it go. We are given countless examples of Phayu’s blatant possessiveness over Rain once they begin their unorthodox courtship.

When after their first time Phayu says to Rain that he must repeat the phrase “Rain belongs to P’Phayu.”back to him.

This man heard that Pun was in Rain’s general vicinity and immediately drove to him to stake his claim. Also when he admits to being “insanely jealous” of Pun ever since he heard that Rain used to have a romantic interest in her.

He removes Saifah’s hand from Rain’s shoulder in Episode 4 and tells him to get back to work after Saifah suggests that he could teach Rain how to ride a super bike.

I do think this possessiveness is also in part because Phayu realises how much of a rare find Rain is and he will do everything in his power to ensure that they stay together forever. I also think in contrast, Rain’s possessiveness has more to do with him constantly having to fight off potential suitors because everyone is in love with Phayu (well the idea of him). 

I appreciate however that his possessiveness isn’t portrayed as particularly toxic because in episode 5 when Phayu is having lunch with Sky and Rain and Rain tells Sky he loves him after he told him that Phayu and him were dating.

Instead of getting unreasonable jealous of Rain and Sky’s obviously platonic relationship, Phayu simply says that he has no reason to be jealous because he knows that Sky and Rain are just friends.

I think if they ever decided on venturing out and engaging in a threesome it would 100% be Rain’s idea in order to satiate his own curiosity. Phayu would go along with it (ever indulgent of his sweet boy) but he would probably have to be in control the entire time while simultaneously barking orders at the third party about how to pleasure Rain properly.

(12) THE SADISTIC  LITTLE SHIT (AFFECTIONATE) AND HIS “DEK NGO”  "DEK NARAK"

I know PhayuRain and their kink list is longer than the elevator ride to hell but I’m going to focus on what in my opinion is Phayu’s poison of choice. That is sadism and degradation.

More specifically emotional and psychological sadism mostly. I don’t think he’s particularly opposed to physical sadism though. In the special episode he said he punished Rain until he was sore but Rain liked it. Although this is vague and he could have been sore for different reasons we see in Episode 2 when Phayu is berating Rain for breaking into the illegal race that isn’t above spanking Rain.

I don’t really know for sure if Rain is a masochist though I think he is definitely willing to try things with Phayu but he didn’t really seem to enjoy the spanking but I guess that was mostly because they didn’t know each other that well.

So I think while Phayu is mainly an emotional sadist and he prefers it he partakes in physical sadism with Rain because I think Rain would prefer that more based on his personality. This is mainly because of his obvious praise kink.

(CC: Rain’s blissed out expression when Phayu whispered “keng mak” i.e. “Good job” in his ear in the bathroom stall scene after Rain had followed his instructions.)

So the degradation that comes along with emotional sadism may not be Rain’s cup of tea.

After the incident in Episode 3 where Phayu told Rain to change ‘ngo’ to ‘narak’ ; I think he realised how insecure Rain was about being called stupid and that this was a hard limit for Rain. We can see as the story progress after this incident where Phayu either calls him “naughty boy” or some version of good boy.

I do think that this is an example of how Phayu is willing to tailor and transform his kinks and compromise to ensure that Rain is comfortable. He realised that Rain responds far better to praise and made the necessary adjustments.

We also see Phayu’s penchant for degradation and humiliation in  Episode 3 where he buys Rain extra small underwear. Although they were the correct size for Rain, Phayu had to throw  in a little dick size shaming for his own amusement. The smug little smile after he riles Rain up about this speaks for itself. 

However I wanted to fight him when he made my baby Rain cry in episode 5 after he made Rain think that he didn’t want to be with him anymore. Although I kind of feel like this was sort of more punishment for the fact that Rain ran off after their first time in Episode 4 and made him worry. I guess it’s safe to add dacryphilia to their long ass kink list. Phayu you sadistic little shit. 

If we also listen to the words of Phayu in his little speech before they make out in episode 5, I swear the only thing missing from this was Phayu getting down on one knee and proposing to Rain. 

He says:

We can see that he enjoys this and gets off on being the one to tease and degrade Rain. He knows Rain’s limits and he ensures that he follows up any degradation with praise as a  salve to any open wounds he’s caused with his words. I think Rain eventually adapts to this part of Phayu however because in Episode 7 he tells Phayu that he is willing to let Phayu tease him forever. 

I love how they are both willing to adapt and compromise to better serve each other’s needs. Phayu constantly keeps Rain off kilter constantly guessing, constantly teasing him but at the same time he ensures that Rain understands that Phayu loves him and he is valued.

Phayu is constantly and reflexively adjusting himself to meet Rain's needs from moment to moment and I applaud him for it. Good job Daddy you get a gold star for all your hard work.

(13) PHAYU THE INVENTOR OF HEALTHY COMMUNICATION

This definitely has to be one of my favourite things about Phayu. I’m sure Rain isn’t the first person Phayu has attempted to have some sort of D/s relationship with and at the core of this is communication, consent and boundaries. 

D/s relationships especially 24/7 ones involve copious amounts of consent and negotiation and communication but I know that the show couldn’t necessarily explicitly address the fact that they are in a 24/7 D/s relationship so we don’t get any sit down moments where Phayu and Rain discuss it blatantly. However I would assume that at some point Phayu sat Rain down and explained to him what their dynamic is and what was expected of him.

We definitely see how much Phayu values communication in the Special Episode when Rain misreads a situation. Where he sees Phayu talking to Natsu on the couch in Phayu’s home. I mean to be fair sparks were flying between them. I don’t know  if that was just a Boss thing because good God this man can generate sexual tension with a  wall. (Went off on a tangent there moving on back to communication.)

I think that Phayu understands that Rain has a sort of inferiority complex that is made worse by people being constantly baffled as to how Rain ended up with a guy like Phayu. Rain also most likely due to immaturity and lack of life experience has a problem with communication and conflict resolution. 

Phayu has to drag the confession out of Rain about why he’s upset with him. We see where this man has quite literally done nothing wrong yet still he gets on his knees to apologise and tries to make it up to Rain. 

I love that Phayu possesses the maturity to  never allow misunderstandings to remain unaddressed and fester. Although Rain may lack the maturity to speak up and directly tell Phayu what is bothering him in any given situation, Phayu ensures that they talk it out so that their conflicts do not go unresolved and that resentment does not have the opportunity to set in. 

(14) PHAYU SEX & SEXUALITY 

Phayu is an unapologetically shameless and sexual person. This comfortability in his sexuality and his lack of preoccupation with other people's opinion of him allows him to exude a calm self assurance and striking sex appeal subconsciously. 

This comfortability with his own sexuality was displayed many times throughout the series. In Episode 3 when that are at the porridge shop and Phayu goads Rain into being unashamed of the fact that they were in public and on a date with each other.

In Episode 5 after Rain told Sky that he was dating Phayu he said he was happy that Rain told his best friend about them because he understands that he would be apprehensive in case Sky would start to see him differently. I like that he lets Rain come out on his own time and he doesn’t rush him. Lastly in Episode 6 Phayu proudly introduces Rain as his boyfriend to P’ Chai at the street race. 

Phayu is a readymade character who has presumably gone through the stage in his life where he would have explored his sexuality and unusual proclivities and has come to the point of acceptance. I think that is why he is portrayed as someone who knows exactly what he likes and enjoys and is unashamed of it.

This is why he seems to be such a safe place for Rain to explore the full spectrum of his own sexuality.  There is never any judgement in Phayu's eyes when they uncover another one of Rain’s off the walls kinks. We just see at most a sort of mild amusement and an instant willingness to acquiesce and indulge Rain.

Phayu being out and proud made Rain feel like it was ok to have these feelings so his apprehension about identifying as such quickly dissipated.He’s constantly willing to teach, indulge and hold Rain’s hand through this journey and I just think that’s so neat. 

Everyone deserves to have a safe place like Phayu when dipping their toes in and navigating the troubled unpredictable waters of sex and sexuality especially when coming to terms with their own queerness. 

WHAT IS PHAYU’S MAIN MOTIVATION THAT UNDERSCORES EVERYTHING SINGLE ACTION THAT HE TAKES?

The simple answer to this is control. This is important because I don’t see Phayu as someone who particularly chases after power but control? Yes most definitely.Power is the ability to make something happen. Control is the ability to make something happen the way you want. We are all created differently but Phayu needs control at all times in the same way we need oxygen to survive. It’s just the way his wires were crossed. 

Phayu could have easily just admitted to Rain on their first meeting that he remembered him and he could have left it to chance how their encounter would have gone. He could have also gone through the Prapaiesque route and  just pursued Rain himself. 

But he was different; he made sure that he was in control of  their dynamic from the very beginning. The aforementioned options left far too many variables that could have thrown a wrench in Phayu’s end game which was getting Rain. 

He even somehow managed to get Rain to pursue him and have him think that it was his idea. Even though he was the one who liked Rain from the very beginning.

This desperate all-consuming need to be in control at all times is tempered by Phayu’s ability to adequately shoulder the responsibility that comes with that control. Everything he does is calculated. There is always an end goal. Consequently he thrives and is most content when he has someone like Rain to be in charge of in a sense.

The contentment and ease that seems to overtake Phayu when he and Rain are in an established relationship is a sight to see. He’s no longer untethered; he's firm and grounded.

CHARACTER’S RELATIONSHIP TO THE PLOT

There isn’t too much angst and the denouement/final conflict just concerns external factors and has nothing to do with Phayu Rain’s romantic relationship

The plot is just romance; from the meet cute in the rain to the established relationship. I love how we just felt like we were along for the ride to watch two men fall irrevocably in love with each other and fit together perfectly like puzzle pieces.

CHARACTER’S GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT THROUGHOUT THE SERIES

I’m going to be honest I don’t think there was much life altering character growth with Phayu. When we meet Phayu he seems like a fully fleshed out character who knows what he wants and isn’t ashamed of his proclivities and sexuality so there is no room to explore there or for any consequent development. Phayu is a static character with no change in behaviour, and his values and attitudes remain pretty consistent throughout the entirety of the text and the series. 

I don’t think I’m getting over PhayuRain anytime soon. If you got all the way to the end I hope you enjoyed my ramblings. Let me know if you guys have anything to add. The plot as well as the characters in this show were a far cry from perfect but I keep coming back to it so they must have done something right. 

[kaus-quietis]

BSD Fyodor Dostoyevsky: an in-depth character analysis

“Человек есть тайна. Ее надо разгадать, и ежели будешь ее разгадывать всю жизнь, то не говори, что потерял время; я занимаюсь этой тайной, ибо хочу быть человеком.” / “Man is an enigma. It must be unravelled, and if you will unravel it your entire life, then do not say that you have wasted time; I occupy myself with that enigma, because I want to be human.” – the writer Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky, in a letter to his older brother, Mikhail (St. Petersburg, 16 August 1839)

The purpose of this post is to present and analyse information related to Bungou Stray Dogs’ Fyodor Dostoyevsky’s personality and methodology. Softer than shadow, unsolved and endless, Fyodor may as well “hide” his soul under our very eyes and we still would not know if that is the “real” him. This is my promised Fedya essay, an info-gathering analysis masterpost I hope you will enjoy and find useful for contemplating and coming to understand his complex character a little bit better.

Warning: merciless BSD manga spoilers. Literally spoiling everything. Also, this is an unbelievably long post (20200+ words). Have some lovely tea, listen to Rachmaninoff, and read in serene leisure or endlessly curious passion.

Last update: November 2022. 20.200+ words. The BSD manga reached ch105, the BSD anime completed season 3, while season 4 is announced for January 2023. Please refer to my original post (this one) in the future, as I could add updates periodically when new chapters release (or so I hope). Please note that I am using the official English translations for chapters 1-94 unless stated otherwise. I am eternally grateful for all fan translations. Lastly, please note that in this essay I will not focus on: 1) connections to F.M. Dostoyevsky’s Crime and Punishment or other literary works; 2) connections to F.M. Dostoyevsky’s biography / personal life; 3) possibilities of what Fyodor’s ability could be; 4) the philosophical and ethical side of Fyodor’s motives. All these would require vast separate posts entirely (who knows, I might write them too one day). My intention is to offer guidance in decyphering what Fyodor’s personality is truly like, as well as how his methods and tactics play a role into shaping said personality or BSD’s plot. Last note: in this essay, quite frequently, I am making references to other beautiful posts written by BSD fans, tagging them and linking to their posts. If you are tagged and want me to remove the tag, please send me a message via ask box and I will edit the tag out.

Sections:

A. Let the hand of God guide you: Fyodor and hand / arm symbolism

B. He understands human nature deeply, if not perfectly

C. He values independence and (most probably) his co-workers

D. No confirmation yet that he is brainwashing others and why this is relevant

E. He loves and lives for entertainment

F. Humble, not arrogant. Self-proclaimed god or servant of God?

G. A strange divergence inside Fyodor. Is he a singularity?

H. Soft, discreet, graceful, yet playfully dramatic. His body language in the manga, in comparison to the anime

A. Let the hand of God guide you: Fyodor and hand / arm symbolism

When it comes to Fyodor’s character, even choosing a starting point for our discussion about him might prove challenging. For all we know so far, he is a Russian man with a completely unknown past, he appears to be in his 20s, just a pinch shorter than Dazai (as @kaikaikitanmp3​​ showed here), elegant, alluring and ambiguously sickly (see section H for more on his self-proclaimed anemia and overall physique). Until we get more canon manga information on his personal profile, I propose we start from something that already has numerous ties to Fyodor’s character, a symbol we can present the many meanings of, only to abandon us to our roaming thoughts later. This symbol is that of the hand, and, before that, the closely-related symbol of the arm.

Embrace of all. A symbol of both power and protection, the human arm represents the instrument to apply justice and punishment, to rule and to guide. Not only that, but as a symbol of a human’s strength and capacity to act, its image becomes that of vitality itself. To open one’s arms is an act of invocation, raising them to the sky – an act of calling for divine blessing, but this welcoming gesture also renders a person wide-open and vulnerable, receptive and embracing. A certain humbleness and vulnerability is involved in this gesture, because only then one can wholly accept what stands before or above them, let them in, understand and feel them. This willingness to embrace alterity, when represented in art or various media, can be of different nuances, thus triggering different responses in the viewer: it can be soothing, heartwarming, comforting, just as it can be unnerving, constraining, intrusive even for even just suggesting such embrace. It is no wonder we see this gesture in how Ango apparently imagines Fyodor (ch78). While his arms are covered by his coat, his open hands, as of darkness, extend towards the viewer. This image appears as Ango concluded that Atsushi getting shot by Nathaniel, later falling unconscious in Anne’s room, was part of Fyodor’s plan. How this plan covered and embraced that outcome is portrayed as unsettling, therefore making good use of the negative values of such body language and symbols. Together with the ch63 panel where Fyodor’s faceless silhouette is shown with his open hands turned towards his chest, each finger pulling a thin string, this example, too, suggests the idea of Fyodor’s influence and interference being disturbingly omnipresent, this time with the hand gesture emphasizing the hidden character of his plans. A different example, of Fyodor conveying openness through body language, specifically showing his palms to someone while even opening his arms in a welcoming manner, is when he was negotiating with Mushitaro in ch55, offering to end his imprisonment in exchange for Mushitaro playing a role in Fyodor’s Cannibalistic Mutual Destruction operation. At that moment, Fyodor’s gesture conveyed the sincere character of his offer, made more impactful by being accompanied by much gesticulation on Fyodor’s part during the whole scene (more on Fyodor’s rhetorical use of expressive gestures in section H).

Honesty and harmlessness. The symbol of the hand also represents human ability to act, putting a start or an end to action, as well as having the freedom to act. Just like the arm, the hand is a symbol of power, justice and dominance, as well as guidance and bestowing blessings. Open palms, much like open arms, convey the message of having no ill will, no hidden secrets, thus presenting oneself in an open, vulnerable position, but also one allowing reception of the other, and, in the case of the open hands, showing willingness to share, as the hand’s different “powers” are almost as numerous as human actions themselves: to contain, to take away, to keep hidden, to harm, to mend, to unite, to divide, to guide, to give. The meanings of these, melted together, would all still accurately be applicable to Fyodor’s character, who, in the most general sense, just like Dazai’s character or even more so, represents the complexity of human nature, so rich in paradoxes, so ultimately impenetrable. Now, showing your hands, and especially showing your palms or inner part of your arms (interior side of the wrists and upper arms, for example), means showing you have no ill intent (based on how, for example, since ancient times, such a posture simply showed the other that you do not carry any weapons). Hence, in this line of thought, we can approach the scene where Fyodor showed his fragile hand and wrist to Ace in ch42. It has a double meaning in this scenario: firstly, Fyodor is indeed honest and open, he does not have an ill intent, because his hidden purpose, in itself, addresses the greater good of humanity; secondly, Fyodor’s intent becomes “ill” only when related to Ace himself, who saw Fyodor as a threat and was ready to deny Fyodor his personhood, as he did with all his subordinates, who became his slaves or, rather, his disposeable objects and instruments. In so many of BSD’s events and organisational dynamics, it is evident how relativity rules the verdict we as readers can give to various groups or characters. BSD features excellent examples of grey morality everywhere, and the problem of whether Fyodor is good or evil is no exception. It is all relative to a past and a future we do not know yet, while still maintaing a certain unnerving, dark side that undeniably accompanies Fyodor’s character at each step. The reader is then immediately reminded of this dark, threatening side of Fyodor’s, as he concluded the ennumeration of his physical and circumstational disadvantages with the abrupt “So how about this? I’ll kill you instead”.  And while I did call this subsection “honesty and harmlessness”, everyone is conscious of Fyodor’s potential to harm at any time, most characters living in anticipation of being harmed by him, and yet we still have no clear idea how he applies physical harm (including death), despite having valuable depictions of how subtly he can exert mental and emotional harm, or simply influence, on others (more on that in the following sections). That being said, despite Fyodor calling humans sinful and foolish and expressing his desire to “purify” them (ch46, Fyodor: “Man is sinful and foolish. Even if they know it is all an artifice, they cannot help but kill each other. Someone must purify them for those sins”), we never see him acting like he hates or is disgusted by humans, nor like he forcefully wants to change how they behave. The latter reminds us of the thin line between plain manipulation (a thing Fyodor does when necessary for his larger strategic moves, as he has done in ch47 with fake Pushkin and the children or in ch75 with Sigma) and exerting oppressive corrective behaviour upon others (a thing we never see Fyodor doing, as he never changes the people he interacts with, who they are and what they value; see sections B and C). In fact, his openness to human nature in general is highlighted, for instance, in his interactions with Nikolai and in the way he talks about Sigma (see section C). Opposite traits blend perfectly into Fyodor’s character in most subtle ways, as I intend to prove by the end of this essay, so let us continue gathering such examples on the way, across all sections.

Bestowing blessings. In the manga, Fyodor was shown using a very specific hand gesture when using his ability on Karma, thus openly depicted only in ch42 so far. The same gesture, prepared but changed into one of covering Mushitaro’s head with its palm, appeared in ch56 in a hallucination, when Mushitaro was forced into a corner by Ranpo’s blackmailing, which for Mushitaro triggered images of Fyodor (more on this below). To me, this peculiar hand gesture is like a mixture of different acts I witnessed or experienced in religious contexts (to clarify my background, I’m slavic, Orthodox, and Eastern European, no “expert” in religions but fascinated by sacred rituals), and by this I mean specifically acts of blessing and chrismation done by priests. 1) Blessing marks bestowing holiness or invoking the divine will and protection upon a person (but also places, objects etc.), and is done in several ways: when one-handed and by a (consecrated) priest, using the right hand, with the finger positions spelling out the letters “IC XC” (for Ἰησοῦς Χριστός, Jesus Christ in Greek), the same sign being done with both hands when the gesture is two-handed; when one-handed and by a secular (also done between regular people occasionally), making the sign of the cross over someone or something using the thumb and index + middle finger stretched outwards, similar to the finger positions when making the sign of the cross on oneself. Fyodor’s hand position is most similar to the latter in this case, albeit with a sinister twist: Fyodor seems to use his left hand for the gesture. A different gesture for blessing, in this specific meaning mostly starting with the New Testament, is putting one’s hands over someone. There, this gesture is closely linked to the miraculous healings bestowed by Christ (as in Luke, 13, 13), and, after His ascension, keeping its relation to healing and bestowing the Holy Spirit, to the duty quite literally left in the hands of the apostles (as in Acts, 8, 17). 2) Chrismation is a Christian sacrament, where, in short, the priest anoints another person with the holy chrism, a ritualic ointment, while making the sign of the cross over specific body parts, each being a symbol of something, starting with the forehead (where the blessing of the mind is bestowed). Chrism itself, a common element in Mediterrean and Middle-East religious practices since ancient times, gained a particularly important role in Christianity, being used very often, in both baptismal and funeral rites, as well as sacraments (chrismation and acts of consecration). It symbolizes divine benediction, the gifts of the Holy Spirit, but also bestowing power and glory (in the context of coronations or such). Each time the author of the benediction is considered to be the divinity, whereas the one who applies the chrism on the other is a mediator between the earthly and the holy. Notably, this use in baptisms and funerals marks an associations with beginnings and endings, life and death. To me, Fyodor’s hand gesture when using his ability, particularly the gentle touch of another’s forehead, always looked similar to the act of anointing someone with chrism (though it is not usually done directly with the fingers, but with a little brush or one half of the ointment’s recipient), and in line with his canon dialogues, we could say what he bestows is “the great silence”, “the salvation of death”, which can turn into the blessing of a meaningful, peaceful death, bone-chilling nonetheless, such as in Karma’s case (ch42, see section B where I expand upon this). This gesture links Fyodor’s character to the image of a mediator, the role of “the right hand of God”, carrying out a mission that can be regarded as holy (based on Fyodor’s use of religious vocabulary), although we still lack canon material to fully establish whether that is only a trait of his way of speech or indeed a hint for his motives’ origins (see section F).

Threat and manipulation, relative examples. Later, in ch56, Ranpo hit Mushitaro’s most profound, personal weakspot by adopting Fyodor’s type of manipulation, in the form of a one-time bargain with emotional pressure, an offer he could not refuse (Ranpo would have releaved a truth Mushitaro did not want to make public if Mushitaro did not accept Ranpo’s terms; see also @looking-for-stray-dogs ’s post here). However, given that we already saw Fyodor offering Mushitaro a deal in ch55, there is a noticeable difference between Fyodor’s and Ranpo’s deal here, which, in my opinion, shows that Ranpo cannot immitate Fyodor completely (or refuses to) while he also imagines him as a much worse person than Fyodor can be deduced to be, in fact, strictly based on his interaction with Mushitaro. In ch55, it is shown that Fyodor simply offered to free Mushitaro from the basement he was locked in, in exchange for Mushitaro using his ability serving Fyodor’s Mutual Destruction plan once. This deal was fulfilled and their interactions ceased. I would call this a case of pragmatic manipulation, because Fyodor did not profit of Mushitaro’s feelings or past, he only offered freedom from Mushitaro’s cell. By contrast, Ranpo, assuming Fyodor works only (and especially) with emotional manipulation, simply blackmailed Mushitaro into turning himself in. Of course, Fyodor is capable of emotional manipulation (as in Sigma’s and Nikolai’s cases, see section B, but also section H below), but he can also manipulate others not even bringing their emotions into the discussion (as in Mushitaro’s case). By limiting his assumptions to emotional manipulation, Ranpo may be walking down a dangerous path, disregarding the full spectre of Fyodor’s methods. Assuming Fyodor is “the worst person possible” by default could also prove to be a wrong approach, as it is easier and convenient to conclude on that for others, but assumes too much about Fyodor and adds a rigid label on him, one that Fyodor can exploit later. In fact, we saw he already did once, by giving the worst relationship advice on purpose in ch64, in Meursault, when Dazai asked for said advice within Fyodor’s “All-smiles Problem-solving Roooooundtable” (and yet, this, together with Dazai’s lines, were shaped that way for the purpose of establishing the terms of their secret code, as I shall argue below, in section C). Meursault guards are portrayed monitoring Fyodor and Dazai, whom they consider “demons” of crime, expecting them to be exactly the worst souless manipulator and the worst flirtacious lunatic respectively. I would like to thank Eliott @stories-from-saint-petersburg for discussing this scene with me in-depth and putting this aspect of it into very fitting words I shall copy below. Besides the ideas presented here, see also section C for this brilliant scene’s actual meaning, according to what I could deduce further.

Eliott: “But also, they know they are filmed and that people are listening to them. So it would make sense to give answers that are more far from their characters, to confuse or not to give too much info to their jailors. Just like they switch to code when speaking about more serious things. That’d make sense in a strategy where you have to deceive your opponent, the opponent being Meursault. If they both give shit answers (and the answers that are expected from them), then the way they make up their plans will be still more difficult to find out by the prison.”

There is more to be inspected in Mushitaro’s ch56 hallucination of Fyodor covering his head with his palm. For this, I shall leave a different discussion I had with Eliott below:

Lav: “One difference is that Karma (ch42) actually experiences that touch. He sees Fedya's hand, he feels the touch of his fingers. It happened as an event in his life. In comparison, Mushi (ch56) sees this image when Ranpo blackmails him into turning himself in, as Ranpo makes a speech about using the methods of a demon to reach his goal (debatable, I will expand on this when the time is right). Apparently, Ranpo's speech triggers an emotional reaction in Mushi, who then imagines Fedya reaching towards him, making the same gesture he did to Karma, and the panels are white, while the end of this vision (Fedya placing his whole hand over Mushi's head) is in black.” Eliott: “Can’t it simply show the effect Fedya had on Mushi? A feeling of being oppressed and trapped, or something akin to control from a mind that’s greater than his? To me it looks like an allegory of manipulation, but not especially like an ability or something akin to it.” Eliott: “If Mushi saw Fedya use his ability, then he knows his touch means death. Anyway, he knows Fedya is dangerous. Touching someone’s head is a common symbol for either intimacy, fondness or manipulation. Mushi probably knows he can end up killed, and this is a fear that can explain this imagery, and even the manipulation he’s subjected to. The fear of dying is a good motivation for someone. Furthermore, he is still traumatized by the death of his dear friend, so it’d make sense this is very impactful for him, either death or being near / in danger of it? Also, Fedya here looks like how his friend is depicted graphically.” Eliott: “<So,> he doesn’t have to <have experienced this physically before>! Imagining someone threatening touch you is frightening, even if you don’t know they can kill you with one touch. And when speaking of being trapped / manipulated, it’s quite logical to imagine the person that has you trapped touching you, it’s an oppressive image either way.” Lav: “True. (…) One detail that supports this <that Mushi only hallucinated without previously witnessing Fedya’s gesture> is how in Karma’s case Fedya stretched out two fingers (index and middle) to his forehead, much like in a blessing gesture, while Mushi imagines a hand with all fingers fully extended towards his forehead. Also the death touch to Mushi is done with the right hand, while for Karma it’s the left hand??” Eliott: “I still don’t understand that gkflg, I’m wondering if the artist just forgot to draw one right hand ahah”.

Important unexplained details. Everyone’s ability in Dead Apple has an ability gem located on their forehead except: Atsushi’s tiger (nape), Akutagawa’s Rashomon (inside its chest), arguably Dazai’s No Longer Human (inside his chest), and most importantly here Fyodor’s Crime and Punishment (the back of his right hand). Another note, out of all the abilities, only Mori’s Elise, Fukuzawa’s All Men Are Equal and Fyodor’s Crime and Punishment are able to talk or heard talking. One detail unique to Fyodor’s ability and Mori’s ability, though, is that they each have real eyes with irises and pupils, as if they are human, and not just an ability with empty, glowing yellow eyes like in all the other cases, except Atsushi’s tiger. One could surely speculate on why exactly Crime and Punishment has its ability gem placed on its hand, but I want to move on to other topics in this essay. Lastly, on Fyodor’s motto, “Let the hand of God guide you”, see section G.

B. He understands human nature deeply, if not perfectly

Contrary to the popular opinion that Fyodor does not have an ounce of humanity in him or that he cannot understand nor feel human emotions, the canon presents evidence that Fyodor understands other humans and their emotions profoundly. Let us keep in mind the definition of empathy (“the ability to understand other people’s feelings and problems”), as well as the fact that there are different types of empathy, such as affective empathy or cognitive empathy (the latter applying to Fyodor the best). Instead of speculating that Fyodor completely lacks empathy (a lack psychopaths share, and Fyodor’s case proves to be much too complex to simply throw into that spectrum and call it a day; see @tecchous-thicc-buttocks​​ ’s post here, where OP not only has a great post, but also a smashing username AND a superb N.V. Gogol reference in their blog description to laugh your heart out to), I invite you to explore exactly the opposite, namely the idea that he has capacity for perfect empathy and uses it instrumentally to make it suitable for his plans. The canon material showed us many situations that support this (too), as we shall see below.

Fyodor “connects” with others mentally, emotionally and / or spiritually in such an accurate way, that this skill of his is portrayed as bone-chillingly sinister, in scenarios holding starkly contrasting ideas. It is not just about analytically deducing what a person would do next or what would objectively motivate that person, Fyodor knows the depths of people’s hearts, as can be seen in his discussions with Karma, Shibusawa, Nikolai, and the way Fyodor talks about Sigma. I shall present each case in detail in what follows, made into a list of people whose problems Fyodor saw through and responded to adequately.

Karma’s problem was of intellectual nature: to die a slave or a free man, and how those are mutually-exclusive conditions, in regard to which Karma recognized himself trapped in the first condition (slave), but was later “transported” into the second condition (free man) by the circumtances and type of death Fyodor “granted” him. Frequently rationalizing each situation in his inner monologues, pondering each factor and possible outcome analytically and in admirable control of his emotions (as seen throughout the entire ch42), Karma explored, so to say, the “syllogisms” behind what was happening to him too: I want to be saved + I am a bad person + saviours do not save bad persons => I will never be saved; OR I am a bad person + I am not a free person + a saviour can free me by saving me + saviours do not save bad persons => I will never be a free person. Even if the concepts belong to morality discourse, Karma’s approach is straightforward and logical, therefore there is no scene of him begging Fyodor for help, freedom or vengeance, as well as no scene of him even running away from Fyodor: despite being frightened, he was able to withstand his irrational reaction and sought knowledge and clarifications through conversation even in the face of the Demon. Karma was a person who rationalized and accepted his personal condition, and he was all the more shocked that this “slave” condition was dissolved by the events caused by Fyodor. Although Karma had to be killed so that no trace was left by Fyodor, what deserves attention is, on one hand, the fulfillment on Karma’s dying face (dying as a free man), and, on the other hand, how Fyodor gave him privacy when he gave his last breath, as Fyodor is portrayed looking directly at Karma only after he passed away. The fact that Fyodor is portrayed as looking at Karma’s lifeless body afterwards at all can be interpreted as Fyodor contemplating Karma’s end, especially given how in ch42 all background elements vanish in this particular panel, deepening the solemnity of the moment (as @linkspooky​ noted too, together with Fyodor’s understanding and acknowledgement of Karma as a person, worthy of sharing knowledge with, here). And yet the anime (S3ep4) did not insist on this manga panel at all, skipping it entirely. The prayer that Fyodor offered for Karma at the end (“May your soul find salvation… released from the yoke of sin”), while facing him (unlike in the anime, where Fyodor does not look at Karma at all) was the conclusion of Fyodor’s solemn meditation, and I find it a shame that the anime did not linger on this aspect. This scene blends a merciful death with a necessary crime, such contrasts being typical to Fyodor’s character. This prayer for Karma may in fact not be the only one Fyodor offered to those he led to their death by necessity: indeed, Fyodor’s cello recital in front of a captured Katsura in ch47 may have served the same purpose. Given that Fyodor informed fake Pushkin about Atsushi and Kunikida’s arrival, via the telephone, in real-time, we can assume Fyodor knew exactly when the two Agency members clashed with the armed children and when the little girl triggered the detonation of her grenades. After replying to Katsura’s remark, meeting Katsura with the impenetrable grin typical to both him and Dazai, Fyodor recommenced playing with closed eyes and no smile (thus fully immersed), unlike in the anime (S3ep9), where Fyodor never stopped playing in order to talk with Katsura, yet him stopping to play the cello just for that is, in my opinion, very important, as I will try to show here. Fyodor’s cello recital ended with him offering a prayer, which at its end addressed specifically all children of the world (ch47, “Joy to the world… and blessings to all its children”). Therefore, the cello scene carries solemnity, thoughtfulness and emotion, contrasting with the violent sight of the dead children breaking Kunikida’s spirit, and in this light Fyodor’s recital (which Katsura himself did not understand the purpose of, as he was clueless about what was happening outside) becomes a musical prayer for the sacrificed souls. Once again, despite being terribly beautiful in animation and sound indeed, it is a pity the anime depicted this scene in a weirdly ecstatic and stereotypically evil way, giving Fyodor a demonic gaze and grin, as well as making Fyodor face Katsura while playing, despite Fyodor not being turned towards Katsura at all in the manga (ch47), given how he looked at Katsura over his right shoulder (Fyodor’s body position further supports the idea that the recital was not meant for Katsura). As a closing note here, the anime added a specific detail at the scene’s end, one I personally would consider mischaracterization: in the anime, Fyodor broke his cello after the recital, and yet this never happened in the manga, and now we can guess why (Fyodor prays for his innocent victims). See section H for more on Fyodor’s overall gentleness, as well as my previous post about the cello scene here.

Sigma’s problem is of emotional nature: for a man without a past, lacking life itself before he found himself “existing” directly as a young adult (I assume he is a young adult), he was most desperate to fulfill his most basic and primary emotional needs, i.e. having a safe place to call his “home” and belonging to people whom he can call “family”. These are exactly the things Fyodor offered to Sigma right from the start, as if anticipating his arrival in that state, but Fyodor also praised and described Sigma for Dazai (ch75) in a very positive, heartfelt way that also implies Fyodor’s admiration for Sigma, as well as acknowledges a certain superiority Sigma has, even compared to Fyodor and Dazai themselves. Depending on the true nature of Fyodor’s relation to Sigma, as well as Sigma’s true nature in itself, I assume this point here will change in nuance in the future, but in the present the canon tells Fyodor has read Sigma’s heart like an open book. I refrain from adding more to this paragraph until new chapters give me new ground for it.

Nikolai’s problem is of philosophical and spiritual nature: the very fact that Fyodor could understand Nikolai’s core problem, his central existential dilemma, not to mention how quickly Fyodor grasped it, is something that both elevated and destabilized Nikolai. Fyodor rightfully explained that Nikolai fights God “in order to lose sight of himself” (ch78), which, theologically-speaking, is very much accurate from a Christian perspective: a human’s highest and final goal is to “see God”, to return to where man was exiled from (heaven, the Fatherland or patria in Latin, the future heavenly Jerusalem etc.) and, once there, to contemplate God eternally, finally reunited with their Creator and seeing “face to face” (see 1 Corinthians 13:12). That is, because there is where man’s real nature lies, where it came from and belongs to, but also man being created in the image and likeness of God (see Genesis 1:26), together with a Platonic and Neoplatonic philosophical legacy, led to a tradition of interpretations (part of our overall cultural heritage) where man’s divine part (or God himself) resides deep within the human soul: therefore, introspection or contemplating one’s own self holds incredible importance. Nikolai fighting God “in order to lose sight of himself” is a very well-chosen line for Fyodor and a great way of presenting (a glimpse of) the depth of Nikolai’s soul to the readers, one that opens many possible interpretations, not just the one offered above. Nonetheless, Fyodor’s response is particularly disturbing, because he calmly stated what frightens and enrages Nikolai the most: the fact that the sight of God is, in the end, the sight of himself, his true self, and “fighting against God” inevitably becomes “fighting against himself” too. So what is left when Nikolai fights against this truth? What is left must be what is unique to Nikolai as a being, if there is anything like that at all. So far in the manga, it seems Nikolai struggles desperately with the concept of the “omniscient God”, who possesses knowledge of past, present and future as well, which opens the particular Pandora’s box of “predetermination vs human free will”, a monstruous philosophical problem as old as time (or at least heavily discussed ever since Ancient Greek philosophy and Early Christianity too). One must note that, by answering like this, Fyodor essentially denied Nikolai the success of his mission, but granted him the rare gift or rare curse of being fully understood by someone else. One truth too much, the resulting emotional impact on Nikolai was disastruous, as Nikolai appears to be a person of high sensitivity, very susceptible to the power of words and how they plant ideas in his mind. Even if Fyodor’s response is not malicious in words (see, however, section H, about the meaning of the tilt of his head and how this scene is an example of intentional emotional manipulation), this interaction was profoundly unhealthy and destabilizing for Nikolai, which I would argue is well in the spirit of N.V. Gogol’s characters, having their spirits frequently broken by the most mundane things which nonetheless go beyond what they are capable to live with (read The Overcoat, Nevsky Prospekt first half, even Diary of a Madman).

Shibusawa’s problem was of personal nature, linked to his past: not only the Mayoi cards, but also the entirety of the Dead Apple movie make it clear that Shibusawa and Fyodor were long-time acquaintances before the fog incident in Yokohama happened. The most objective proof on this are Shibusawa’s words themselves, when telling Fyodor (in the Draconia room, in Dazai’s presence) that it was thanks to Fyodor selling information to Shibusawa that the fog incidents could happen, and in Yokohama too at such an impresive scale. Since Shibusawa told Dazai he did not find “having friends” necessary (since everyone was like a open book to him), I will refrain from calling the personal relationship between Fyodor and Shibusawa “friendship”. Now then, later on, despite being surprised by the ability-gathering Dragon event triggering after he approached Dazai’s “ability gem”, Shibusawa was not angry nor shocked when Fyodor cut his throat: Shibusawa immediately realized he found his most important personal memory as a consequence of Fyodor killing him or, rather, Fyodor “granting” him death once again. Here, too, two contrasting images combine: 1) Fyodor offering “death” as a “gift” or “blessing” that gives Shibusawa exactly what he needed most, and 2) Fyodor essentially killing his old acquaintance, but with the twist that Fyodor was aware Shibusawa would not die yet, quite the contrary – as a result of Fyodor putting a fragment of the crystal that gathers all abilities on the skull’s forehead (as a “small gift”, as Fyodor called it), Shibusawa was revived and enjoyed one last “epic battle” and then died a truly fulfilled person. In fact, Dazai predicted this outcome in the very first scene with the three of them at the table in Dead Apple, telling Shibusawa he is the one in need of “salvation”: Shibusawa then asked Dazai “And exactly who do you propose could save me?”, to which Dazai answered “Who knows? An angel, perhaps? Or, maybe, a demon” (then Fyodor enters the scene; note that I cite the dub version and that, at the end of Shibusawa’s and Atsushi’s battle, Shibusawa’s last words to Atsushi were “(…) The meaning of that man’s <Fyodor’s> words. I understand all of it now. It’s you! You must be the angel who has come to save me”). Anyway, the movie leaves several interesting questions unaswered: could Fyodor have granted death to Shibusawa, and therefore give him his most important memory back, at any time, or was the whole Yokohama setting necessary? If the latter, was it necessary for Shibusawa or necessary for Fyodor, and Fyodor acted only when their distinct goals aligned? In any case, allow me to expose something very intriguing in the next lines. After Fyodor granted Shibusawa death by cutting his throat in a single swift knife attack, the moment Shibusawa’s memory of his first death returned overlapped with the moment Atsushi’s memory of the same event returned to him as well. In the flashback, Shibusawa stated that he conducted those ability extraction experiments on Atsushi – specifically, Shibusawa pressed the switch – because “a Russian man” told him Atsushi’s “power was coveted by every gifted in the world”. Later, Shibusawa added “the Russian’s name was Fyodor”. This makes all events align in such a way that one could speculate Fyodor was leading Shibusawa and everyone involved with him (Ango and the government) down that precise path we see reach its end in the Dead Apple movie. This makes Fyodor’s words from ch42 all the more relevant: “People can be so simple… They truly believe they are thinking for themselves. (…) They don’t want to think they’re being led by the nose”; or, in S3ep4’s dub: “People are eager to believe that they are acting with free will, that they know best. (…) We all loathe to believe we can be controlled”. One last thing to note and analyse here: as Fyodor walked away alone on the hallway and the Dragon got unleashed, he had a “conversation” with Shibusawa’s skull:

Fyodor (sub): “I’ll tell you an interesting fact, in celebration of you finding a friend in me.” Fyodor (dub): “In thanks of our newfound friendship, I’ll offer you a bite from the apple of knowledge.”

Fyodor and his ability then delivered their famous “I am crime. I am punishment” dialogue. While there are significant wording differences between the versions cited above, how Fyodor referred to “friendship” here is mocking and ironic, so the nature of the bond between him and Shibusawa (beyond that of “informant and information buyer”) remains debatable. It is beautiful how the dub version of the line offers a splendid example of godly and demonic imagery blending in the character of Fyodor. In a Christian cultural context, two precise ideas come to mind simultaneously when hearing Fyodor’s line: 1) it was God who created everything, including the first humans (Adam, then Eve) in Eden, amongst all the fruit-bearing trees, giving them rules as to what they could consume or not (the power and authority “to offer” something rightfully was God’s, being the one to give and take away, to reference  Job, 1, 21), but also 2) it was the Devil who “offered” Eve such a bite, tempting her through suggesting she should eat from the forbidden fruits of the tree of knowledge of good and evil (the infamous “suggestion” was the Devil’s, making a forbidden “offer” that was actually a transgression). It is unclear to which of these two ideas Fyodor is closer, and it may as well be possible he is equally close to both, further encompasing contradicting traits. Nonetheless, given that Karma himself introduced the yet unresolved theme of “transcending human nature” and “transcending good and evil” in relation to Fyodor’s character (ch42, Karma: “Ace was evil, but this guy isn’t even that. He’s some kind of nirvana. Something that transcends mankind itself…”), this particular line from Dead Apple supports Karma’s observations and how Fyodor’s character combines the ideas of creator and destroyer, like @looking-for-stray-dogs put into beautiful words here. This only becomes more interesting when we consider the archetype or role of the “servant of God”, which Fyodor consciously claims to fulfill (see section F below).

Kunikida: Yes, you read that correctly. While Ivan and Nathaniel are, as of now, total wildcards and I do not have enough information as to objectively describe their situation or how Fyodor won them over or “read their souls”, Kunikida’s case is the perfect example of Fyodor’s understanding of a person being so deep and accurate that he knew exactly what actions would cause them to break and render them useless for a significant period of time. Moreover, Kunikida’s case becomes even more intriguing if we remember that Fyodor successfully read his nature without even meeting him. Well, that would be the introduction to this minisection about Kunikida, but frankly I did not have enough time nor energy to dig deeper into this as of now. Perhaps in the future I will update this part with information and links to several great analysis posts I am sure Kunikida fans wrote out already, with their whole heart in them.

These examples share the fact that Fyodor accurately reads the intellectual (Karma), emotional (Sigma), philosophical and spiritual (Nikolai) layers of the human heart, as well as is capable of perfectly adapting to one’s personal baggage on the long term (Shibusawa). This means he posseses an extraordinary capacity for empathy, but, as he never loses his composure (except for small instances of surprise or adrenaline rush, like in ch46 and ch53), his willpower controls every single gesture and reaction he makes, which makes him a terrifying foe who has complete control over himself, never overreacts and thus seems soulless (ch42). His understanding of human nature fiels his skill to deduce future actions and thoughts of other people, which in turn may deepen Fyodor’s individualism or trigger his eventual alienation (paired with perceiving humans as “boring” because they are predictable, to which Dazai disagreed in ch77, albeit it must be noted that this is only an assumption Dazai made about Fyodor, that is not entirely supported by the canon dialogues; see section E), as well as encourage Fyodor to use others as predictable (and therefore reliable) pawns in his plans. Again, Fyodor’s character combines two very contrasting yet interdependent things in his strategies: acknowledging others as humans (with individual problems) firstly, and using them as instruments when necessary, on that basis (as Fyodor becomes their problem-solver). This shows both how versatile and accepting Fyodor is as a thinker and leader (see also section C). Theoretically speaking, could Fyodor use Dazai as a pawn, if Dazai is completely alien from being human? But that would open another massive collective essay on what is going on inside Dazai’s soul and mind, as the fandom so often and so admirably tried to figure out already. Personally, I am a firm believer in Dazai’s humanity, and if Fyodor can indeed understand it all the way to its core, then one may wonder if Dazai’s humanity will be his downfall.

C. He values independence and (most probably) his co-workers

Continuing on the previous paragraph’s line of thought, here’s the catch: it is important to keep in mind that Fyodor nevertheless seems to treat certain “pawns” differently, perhaps considering them closer to him in some regard. People Fyodor refers to as “his staff” (and, in ch64, the faces of Ivan and Pushkin appear as examples) may be a matter of genuine concern to him, enough so that Fyodor asks Dazai how to make his subordinates less dependent on Fyodor: “My staff show no independence. All they do is wait for orders. How can I make them into good workers who take the initiative?” (ch64). To me, this question, even just as a light-hearted example for the sake of their shared prison mindgames, is plain shocking coming from someone always thought of as using people like tools and discarding them like broken puppets. As a first thought, to my stupefaction, Fyodor really took into consideration the independence of even his lower-ranking “pawns” as something worthy of a question, and valuable enough as to lament its lack. However, on later inspection I came to understand that Fyodor’s entire “roooooundtable” session from ch64 is in fact more like an icosahedron with razor-sharp edges (I mean, complex and slick), and can be taken both or either literally (like in this section I took Fyodor’s words literally) or figuratively, assuming Fyodor and Dazai’s answers as being each a substitution for something else entirely. Until I reach that point further down this section, there are more examples that refer to Fyodor’s perception of his co-workers (note: for the manga, my points of reference are the official English translations):

1) in Dead Apple, Fyodor celebrated what he called the “newfound friendship” between him and Shibusawa in Dead Apple, thus calling Shibusawa a “friend”, which is further supported if we take into consideration certain BSD Mayoi card descriptions (“Dragon Head Feud” card description, or “Bundled up” card quote: “Oh my, it seems that Dazai-kun and Nakajima Atsushi-kun have managed to evade us today. Well, if Shibusawa-kun is happy, then I'm happy. I'm his friend, after all.”); however, if put back in the larger context, the benevolent character of this statement is debatable (see section B);

2) in ch42, Fyodor told Ace “My friends have taken over the outside corridors”, thus directly referring to his Rats in the House of the Dead as “friends”, even if the fact itself was a lie to pressure Ace towards his suicide;

3) in ch95.5, silently agreed to considering Nikolai a friend when Dazai complimented Nikolai’s prison game idea. There are two instances where Dazai mocked Fyodor about having a nice friend in Nikolai, both of them in this chapter, and only in the second one Fyodor played along, agreeing to Dazai’s claim, but one has to bear in mind that the two could have been mocking each other in both instances:

Nikolai, ch95.5 (fan translation): “The wish to save my friend is indeed very difficult to falter. That’s why I need to shatter this determination, such to prove the free will of homo sapiens!” Dazai: “Seems like… you have a nice friend…” Fyodor: “…” – Nikolai (after a few lines): “From now on, you two will be participating in a jail break duel!” Dazai: “You indeed have a very good friend.” Fyodor: “I know, right?”

Leaving the debate open as to whether Fyodor is genuine when using the term “friend” overall (see also bsd-bibliophile’s post here, further inspecting Fyodor and Nikolai’s interactions, as well as mentioning one instance of the term “friend”, used by Fyodor for Pushkin, being present in the fan translation, but not in the original Japanese text per se), all this information nonetheless supports the fact that Fyodor himself may not be oppressive towards others, and that his methods rather rely on communication, negotiation and manipulation. Indeed, strangely enough, for example when approaching someone new with the intent to work with them, Fyodor’s ways are all “clean talk”: no torture, no physical abuse, no threats, no intimidation or humiliation, no blood as of now (on the possibility of brainwashing, see section D below). Instead, Fyodor becomes the ideal smooth-talker and deal-maker when first recruiting others, perfectly reading into their soul and appealing to their most intimate desires (see section B above, as well as @gold-pavilion​​ / akai-koutei ’s post here /oldhere, and there was a beautiful addition by @/goddessesofeverything here, but all reblogs of the original post were deleted and I cry). When approaching a clear target, however, there can be freshly spilt blood, for example 1) Mori getting stabbed (ch46), 2) Katai getting shot (ch49), and 3) Shibusawa getting his throat cut open (Dead Apple), in each case the action being done directly by Fyodor (firing the gun or holding the respective knives with his own hands). Lastly, if we take into consideration how Fyodor played along with Nikolai’s puns in vol.14’s omake, and how highly and affectionately he spoke about Sigma in ch74 and ch75, Fyodor’s actual dynamics with his subordinates or fellow Decay of the Angel members could potentially surprise the reader in future updates, because his polite and discreet nature do not seem to be a mere façade.

Another point needs to be addressed here, and it is whether or not we can safely use the word “care” to sum up Fyodor’s relationship towards his close co-workers (thank you, Sel @oddeyesight​​, for your questions that led me towards considering this aspect in more detail). First of all, one needs to acknowledge there are persons Fyodor worked with and then disposed of in the most indubitable way, like the mafioso he forced information from in ch51, indirectly all children in ch47 and directly the little girl with the grenades, whom he talked to via telephone prior to the events. Secondly, compared to them, there are characters that are closer to Fyodor, which Fyodor refers to as “friends” (so far, this applies to Pushkin, Ivan, Nathaniel, and indirectly consenting to calling Nikolai a friend; see the paragraph above). Looking at definitions of the noun “care” – “the process of looking after someone” and “the process of doing things to keep something in good condition and working correctly” (Longman dictionary) – the first definition I give as an example here can imply affection, whereas the second definition does not, and refers to an impartial instrumental approach. So far, from what I gathered, there is no canon basis to claim Fyodor cares about someone else in the first definition’s sense, only in the second. Until future manga chapters may or may not change this, I propose looking at Fyodor from another viewpoint: in relation to the antonym of “care” (neglect), and a closely-related noun, indifference. For this task I propose starting with the following scene from ch74, when Dazai deduced the Sky Casino’s origin and purpose:

Dazai: “It was made for two goals. As a base for the next terror attack and as “payment” for the use of Sigma’s skill. …Never waste a thing, do you?” Fyodor: “Our boss does hate to be wasteful.”

By saying “Never waste a thing, do you?”, Dazai implied that Fyodor executed all the steps he deduced, yet Fyodor shaked this claim off, directing Dazai’s remark toward someone Fyodor called “our boss”. We, as readers, naturally think of Fukuchi, who is the leader of the Decay of the Angel in title, but I dare say the entire fandom does not buy this, as in everything else Fyodor still acts like the puppeteer determining the actions of all the group’s members, whether they know it (Nikolai and Sigma) or not (Fukuchi probably and Bram). Fyodor humbling himself and downplaying his importance is a recurring behaviour of his, in varying depictions such as in ch46 (Fyodor to Dazai: “I will not be the one who will bring down your two groups. It will be you yourselves”), in ch73’s cover artwork of Sigma holding cards (where Fyodor is not an Ace, not even a King, he is but a Jack of Spades), in ch77 (Fyodor to Dazai: “Me? I didn’t do anything. I just sat here and prayed… and those prayers were answered”; see section F for more). This aside, hiding the identity of Fyodor’s “boss” had at least two purposes: 1) keeping Fukuchi’s double identity hidden (both the Hunting Dogs leader and the Decay of the Angel leader) and 2) redirecting not only Dazai’s, but our attention too. Since Fyodor and Dazai imagine their actions as if within a mental game of chess, let us reconsider the fates of Fyodor’s pieces so far, which include both the Decay of the Angel members and the Rats in the House of the Dead:

1) Pushkin was apparently captured and eliminated from the “chess game” (lost piece, used and then captured by the enemy in ch53), and yet he is alive and well, even shamelessly spilling information to Ranpo to save his own skin, while being interrogated (ch54), providing him with the lead on Mushitaro. Despite leaking information, so far nobody was sent to “clean” Pushkin off the table (as in Mushitaro’s case, whom Nikolai said he was assigned to kill off at the end of ch56). Pushkin leaking information may be intentional as part of Fyodor’s plans, which means Pushkin’s role likely did not meet its end yet.

2) Ivan was apparently captured and eliminated from the “chess game” (lost piece, used and then captured by the enemy in ch53), and yet Ivan survived and is probably held somewhere alive; also, Ivan’s loyalty and “happiness” never wavered, not even when in Rashomon’s tight grip (ch53), which means his trust in Fyodor remained unchanged and he did not abandon his role of Fyodor’s servant and “head chamberlain” (ch52).

3) Mushitaro was, most probably, really supposed to die (sacrificed piece, used and then disposed of: died in an exploding car after Nikolai’s surprise attack in ch56), yet he is still alive, last seen (iirc) safe in Poe’s mansion in ch78.5 (vol.18 bonus chapter at the end). Since Fyodor sent Nikolai to dispose of Mushitaro, it is rather clear Fyodor was not indifferent to Mushitaro staying alive, and now this is a loose end, one where Mushitaro survived and we do not know if this scenario has already been integrated in one of Fyodor’s larger schemes or if it will serve against Fyodor somehow later.

4) Nikolai was apparently supposed to die (sacrificed piece, used and then disposed of: sawed in half in ch58), and yet he is very much alive and already influenced the current events of the manga drastically. Furthermore, in ch95.5, when Nikolai started explaining his prison game, Fyodor replied “So that’s what you’re planning”, as if the two already agreed upon Nikolai doing “something”, and apparently that “something” remained a surprise to Fyodor, hence his reply was phrased as a conclusion. Note how Nikolai’s action remaining a surprise reinforce Nikolai’s freedom and agency, and Fyodor allowed this and played along, despite how accurate to his character it would be to have deduced Nikolai’s possible actions already. Then again, it could be that Fyodor knew that Nikolai had to hear precisely that kind of reaction, in order to continue playing a role Fyodor secretly predicted for him. Later, in ch98, after Nikolai’s prison game started, when Fyodor was waiting for Chuuya to arrive, Nikolai asked him “It’s been five minutes since the game started. You aren’t gonna move? Can I take that to assume… your pieces are already moving?”. If Nikolai’s prison game is an independent consequence of him independently choosing not to die, then why would Nikolai smile as if in agreement with Fyodor, supposing that everything went as planned? The problem of free will remains unresolved and tightly knit into Nikolai’s character even in the current events.

5) Sigma was apparently supposed to die (sacrificed piece, used and then disposed of: shot by Nathaniel in ch76), and just like Nikolai he is very much alive and playing a crucial role still unknown to us (in a conversation with Alex @vampireonastick​​ I suggested that Sigma being on Dazai’s side of the prison game might be a well-disguised infiltration strategy already planned out by Fyodor, with whom Nikolai cooperates on this, despite Nikolai’s “sidequest” to kill Fyodor); we have an important hint as to how Sigma’s death was never required by Fyodor’s plan: the “roooooundtable” from ch64. It is indeed highly probable that the entire “all-smiles problem-solving rooooundtable” session proposed and moderated by Fyodor was his masked suggestion (masked from the guards!) of creating a unique substitution code that only he and Dazai would be able to communicate in, as @fantastic-rambles analysed more in-depth here. And just like @mydearestt​​ noticed in this post here that, through his reply, Dazai in fact referred to his plan to make the Agency move, the same can be assumed in Fyodor’s case. To remember the dialogue, I shall copy the revelant part here below:

Dazai: “Me next. “I tried asking the café waitress out, but she won’t bend an inch. What should I do?” Fyodor: “Make her lose her job and home, trick her family into disowning her and she’s bound to come crawling to you.”

I propose reading this sequence as referring to Sigma entirely, because: 1) Sigma, much like a waitress, was contained and bound to his workplace, the casino, unwilling to leave once there, no matter who asked; 2) Fyodor set up the entire scenario of making Sigma lose his job AND home in the most literal sense by completely destabilizing the casino; 3) by doing unbecoming irreversible actions, Sigma secured his own family rejecting him, and all ties were cut with Sigma’s “death”, yet Sigma survived – equally destabilized, he ended up in a situation where, if Fyodor would have granted him another wish, Sigma would not have refused, naturally seeking the one person who may still have power to grant wishes as grand and Sigma’s, and that is still Fyodor, who both gave and took Sigma’s home. This being said, like Alex @vampireonastick​ theorized in their post here, I strongly believe Dazai strategically manipulates Sigma in the prison game, “shaping” him to defy Fyodor, the person he would otherwise “crawl back to”. However, since Fyodor chooses his words with utmost care all the time, no matter if truthful or deceiving, I personally doubt Fyodor would carelessly share his strategy (disguised as the grimest relationship advice) without it already being implemented into a larger scheme, in which Dazai acts upon the words he hears from Fyodor (and Dazai already did so twice in this arc, firstly by choosing Sigma, secondly by “building up” Sigma for his eventual refusal of Fyodor). What Dazai perhaps does not expect is the fact that Fyodor himself already talked to Sigma in ways that reinforce Sigma’s agency: for example, in ch73, Fyodor directly told Sigma that, should the Hunting Dogs attack the casino, Sigma should run as he would have no chance of winning; Sigma, on the contrary, remembering Fyodor’s words – not once, but twice in the chapter –, was pushed only more vehemently to defending his casino, thus acting on his own and defying Fyodor already, a reaction Fyodor most likely anticipated when making Sigma hear his “advice as a co-worker” (in Fyodor’s own words, ch73). In the end, regardless of the content of Fyodor’s words, it seems his kidnapper from ch42 offered honest advice to Karma: “Watch out… If you talk to him, he’ll pluck your mind out”. Despite how there is no proof of an actual “plucking of the mind” action yet (see section D), Fyodor’s words (often, if not always) twist the minds of those around him in a way that, paradoxically, both acknowledges and denies them their free will, encouraging decisions that seem free to the agent, but are already predicted and known to Fyodor (and in this, I must admit, Fyodor bears a resemblance to an omniscient god; however, his canon dialogues often convey a different role, a tension I discus in section F). In this light, I wonder if Dazai had this behaviour before too and acted upon words he heard from Fyodor in previous instances, such as the Mutual Destruction arc.

6) Nathaniel was apparently eliminated from the “chess game” entirely (sacrificed piece, used and then disposed of: captured in Anne’s room of no return in ch76), yet this does not imply he is dead, which begs the question if Anne’s room, the Agency’s only true safe space, is now compromised, as me and Alex wondered here (see also the reblogs and replies to their post).

One thing I want to remark here is that, despite how clear it is that Fyodor “moved” all these “chess pieces” already (only number 3 to 6 are relevant in this case), in ch76, right after Nathaniel got captured, as Atsushi and Lucy were celebrating their victory, Ango explained to them how the events at the casino were no victory, and how instead everything played as Fyodor has planned, claiming that Fyodor has not made any move yet:

Ango, ch76: “We lost because you let Sigma die. Now we have no leads to the Page. And… the Hunting Dogs saw us try to rescue him. In their eyes, that likely looked like the Detective Agency helping their terrorist allies. Our plan failed and we’ve only sowed more doubt. This is likely exactly as Dostoyevsky planned. Frankly… I can’t stop shaking. Until now, he moved none of his pawns and gave us no room to deal with him. (…)”

As I shall leave Ango analysis to Alex @vampireonastick​ like in this post here, I will return to the fact that so far the only true “chess piece” that Fyodor ever truly let die was Shibusawa. Then, to sum up, when his co-workers fulfilled their purpose and no use nor entertainment can be obtained from them anymore, Fyodor’s pattern seems to be leaving said co-workers with apparent indifference to their well-being, often abandoning them in a state or situation that is destructive to them (Shibusawa is the clearest example, but it applies to all other aforementioned characters as well). However, the twist is that none of these characters did reach the end of their assigned roles yet (and we may wonder if they will ever do that), given that Pushkin, Ivan, Nikolai, Sigma, Nathaniel and even Mushitaro are all alive and healthy. Consindering all this, the way BSD is narrated becomes even more interesting, because the reader would naturally project treating others as expendable on Fyodor, where in fact it is more accurate to Dazai’s character to act this way (and he did and does act that way, as @linkspooky​ pointed out in detail in their post here). Back to Fyodor’s “our boss does hate to be wasteful” line, while still just an interpretation, it would make sense that Fyodor refers to himself or his ability (if it’s a separate conscious being, see section G) as “our boss”, because all this information suggests that Fyodor himself hates to be wasteful, and that, excepting Shibusawa, Fyodor never wasted even a single pawn of his. That means Fyodor never neglects his co-workers (whom he calls friends!) and is never truly indifferent to them, albeit in an instrumental way, given that there is no proof yet that Fyodor’s care towards his co-workers is affectionate in nature. Let us close this section with a treat, though: in ch51 and ch53, there are two panels of a teacup with three teaspoons to its left. Differing greatly from the anime, albeit delivering the same subtle deception, these three teaspoons help in fooling the reader into thinking that Ivan poured tea in Fyodor’s cup, placed the teacup in front of him and then Fyodor consumed that tea, together with the jam that filled all three teaspoons at first (ch51). Given that 1) Ivan prepared the tea with three teaspoons of jam and 2) at the restaurant, Fyodor drank his tea exactly like that, with three teaspoons of jam, from this we can deduce Ivan is very familiar with Fyodor’s tea-drinking habits, which in turn leads us to the very likely idea that Fyodor and Ivan (if not also together with other members of the Rats in the House of the Dead) frequently had tea together, or Ivan prepared tea for Fyodor often enough to memorize his precise habits. The latter would support Ivan’s self-proclaimed status as Fyodor’s “head chamberlain” (ch52), suggesting that their group lived as family and / or nobility in the same house, if the definition of “chamberlain” is taken into consideration (Longman Dictionary: “chamberlain, an important official who managed the house of a king or queen in the past”).

D. No confirmation yet that he is brainwashing others and why this is relevant

Speaking of his methods of acquiring new collaborators, so far, it is most certain that Fyodor is not brainwashing people: not Fukuchi, not Nikolai, not Sigma, not Karma, not Pushkin, and certainly not the little girl with the grenades, even though the anime depicted the scene differently (in the manga’s ch47, a flashback appears where Fyodor talks to the little girl via telephone, thus he does not simply appear in her clouded mind like in the anime’s S3ep9).

But two characters Fyodor works with are in a very ambiguous position as of now: Ivan and Nathaniel. To begin with, Ivan’s case is very tricky at the moment. In ch53, he openly told Akutagawa that “my master cut out all the parts of his brain that feel unhappiness”. What can I say except our dear Vanya here is a lil’ crazy. I find his replies rather unreliable at the moment, because he is the only Fyodor-subordinate who is behaving like an intoxicated bacchant for now. While the ch53 quote is singular and, therefore, I cannot make anything of it, there is another thing that needs to be considered: in ch52, as he was walking away from Akutagawa and Atsushi, Ivan told them “I will not forget you. …No… You will now serve as part of my master’s joyful order”, but immediately after that he added “after 10 more steps, I will most likely forget your faces”. Apparent self-contradiction aside, whether he meant “forget your faces” literally or not, Nathaniel, too, went through an apparent mind-reset, as he did not recognize Akutagawa in ch46 and appears to have lost his entire personality except for his devotion to Margaret Mitchell and his determination to save her life. Now, mind-resetting and brainwashing are not the same, and removing a part of one’s brain or mind that is responsible for a specific emotion is, likewise, something entirely different. The manga did not give us further examples of similar things that Fyodor apparently had a role to play in, so I cannot present anything new here, only speculation. We also do not know if these effects are caused by Fyodor himself (without using his ability at all, much like he could simply talk Ace into his own suicide in ch42) or Fyodor’s ability specifically. This simply limits my current analysis of Fyodor’s methods to the beforementioned “communication, negotiation, manipulation” trio, which is not dependent nor related to his ability, and I will update these parts if the manga later reveals that Fyodor did indeed mold the conscience or minds of other people into whatever shape or state he desired. Until then, he is literally just a genius smooth-talker, and I refrain from making rash affirmations or going into more speculation here.

E. He loves and lives for entertainment

So many canon lines convey Fyodor’s love for entertainment. It is more specifically entertainment in a “good literature” sense, meaning conflict, tension, intensity of will and emotions, devotion, despair and generally human beings fighting for their needs or to solve their problems of many different, often opposing kinds. Let us take Fyodor’s own words as references. First of all, at the beginning of the Dead Apple movie, as younger Chuuya destroyes the entire building in which he and Dazai found Shibusawa the first time, Fyodor watched the scene from a safe distance, on top of a building. All he did was “absorb” the whole event with utter satisfaction, concluding the scene with his line “This is too much fun”. The motif is repeated several times in the Dead Apple movie, linking his own enjoyment of whatever chaos unfolds to “fun” and “entertainment”, so this line is not the sole evidence that entertainment is greatly valued by Fyodor, as it is the thing opposed to boredom, which constantly eats away at his and Dazai’s hearts because of their superhuman intellect. As Fyodor was getting the two most important ability gems ready for his and Dazai’s plan, Fyodor tells Dazai “Would you not agree that the more entertainment there is, the better?” (dub); moreover, at the end of the movie, his lines highlight the privileged spot of “entertainment” in his understanding of the world around him again:

Fyodor (sub): “Everything is but entertainment. But in order to end this world, rife with crime and punishment, I do need that book. The blank novel sleeping in this town.” Fyodor (dub):“Everything is just entertainment. However, this world is so rife with crime and punishment… In order to finally end it, I do need that novel. This special book that sleeps somewhere within this city.”

However, paying close attention to his words, we need to consider the possibility that in this instance Dead Apple either contradicts or deceives the watcher greatly, because in the manga Fyodor’s goal is clearly referring to “saving the world”, not “ending the world” (see also section G, near the end, for more on Fyodor’s possible motivation).

Now, in the manga (ch63), Fyodor stated that he openly refused to devise a perfect plan (as demanded by another Decay of the Angel member, possibly Fukuchi) because perfection is boring (Fyodor, ch63: “A Decay comrade asked me for the perfect plan… but perfect is so boring. I won’t be able to view the karma of humanity like this”). While at first glance one could be surprised by this statement, especially considering that “God prefers perfection and harmony”, in Fyodor’s own words from ch77 (see section G where I expand on this specifically), both lines (perfection is boring + God favours perfection) could potentially be extremely deceiving: since the Agency knows Fyodor is involved in crafting the Decay of the Angel’s plan, it is probably this implication that leads, for example, Kyouka in ch63 to tell Atsushi that their plan is “extensive and flawless”, and Atsushi’s inner monologue, as a response, appears together with a panel of a faceless Fyodor pulling strained strings in the darkness. If everyone expects Fyodor to be perfect and to create flawless strategies, an opponent like Dazai could include unpredictable, irrational or impulsive actions in his own strategies to outsmart him, as Dazai describes his appreciative acknowledgement of this behaviour he finds in other people (Dazai to Fyodor, ch77: “What’s driving the world are those in the storm of accidental events who scream, run and spill blood. Faced with their souls, you and I should be petrified with fear”; more on this specific dialogue in the next paragraph). But knowing this reaction would be triggered, Fyodor could always integrate imperfections in his plans, leaving his opponents with the impression that they act in the right way, on their free will, when in fact nothing they do has not been already considered by Fyodor (holding true to his lines from ch42). Personality-wise, the “perfection is boring” line becomes relevant if (and only if) Fyodor really, truly means it literally, and 1) does not say it just to tell what his opponent(s) (or the reader themselves) would want or expect to hear, without meaning it, or 2) does not say it as some kind of reverse-psychology, without personal attachment, to trigger predictable reactions in his opponent(s) (again, see section G for a continuation of this particular discussion). As a last example to support the idea of Fyodor loving entertainment, finding both fun and beauty in it, when a very shocked Dazai was asking Fyodor about the reason (“for what?”) for his stupefying strategic moves (the coin bombs, staging the casino as the battleground etc.), Fyodor only replied “Isn’t it more beautiful that way?”.

Now, ch77 presents us with a dialogue between Fyodor and Dazai which seems easy to understand at first, but becomes increasingly complex the more one dwells on it. To remember the full context clearly again, I shall sum it up and add the full relevant quote here: after Fyodor told Dazai that “God favours perfection and harmony”, after which it is confirmed that the Page was also used for changing all the world’s police and investigative agencies not to act upon evidence of someone framing the Agency, a parallel is shown with Tachihara who, inside his heart, decided to finally identify fully as part of the Port Mafia, exiting the inner state of being a Hunting Dog (military police force), thus existing the Page’s influence. Tachihara’s situation exemplifies what Dazai then explains to Fyodor:

Dazai, ch77: “Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Siding with God sure didn’t teach you much!” Fyodor: “…Let’s hear it.” Dazai: “‘Perfection and harmony’? To God, those amount to a hill of beans. I saw it many times. All HE offers is happenstance and absurdity. A weakness… shared by the two of us… For all our ingenious plans, in the end we’ve wound up here, in a deep-level prison. What’s driving the world are those in the storm of accidental events who scream, run and spill blood. Faced with their souls, you and I should be petrified with fear. (after POV change to Tachihara) You’re right. People are sinful and foolish. But… they aren’t as boring as you think they are.”

In Dazai’s dialogue, I put in bold two quotes that need to be inspected. The first one refers to Dazai pointing out a weakness the two geniuses share, which refers to the primacy of the accidental in reality, as opposed to the predictability both Fyodor and Dazai operate with in all their plans, which can make the world seem trapped in an inescapable causality rationally-accesible to those with an intellect such as theirs. Dazai “bets” against Fyodor on this cruel primacy of “happenstance and absurdity”, where reason fails to follow the exact consequences of each event or human action, and yet the nuances and risks of this “bet” I already exposed in the paragraph above. In this context, Dazai seems indeed to talk about this weakness in an admirative, even hopeful tone, despite the fact that he shares it; for a brilliant exposition on Dazai (both the author and his BSD counterpart) in relation to sin and weakness, I wholeheartedly recommend reading Kat’s (@pompompurin1028​​) essay here. When Dazai stated this, a flashback to Odasaku’s fight with André Gide is shown, which can be interpreted as that one time Dazai’s predictions held true, yet still Odasaku chose to fight Gide, fully aware of the end, driven only by what I would call here human subjective drive. Such human subjective drive, independent from reason and logic, is what awakened in Tachihara as well: if Odasaku served as an example of “defeating” Dazai by exploiting his vulnerability to the (uncontrollable) accidental, then Tachihara served as an example of “defeating” Fyodor’s precautious plans by unexpectedly exiting the Page’s influence. In the end, this parallel can become unbalanced if Fyodor already included this kind of variables in his plans and works not ignoring, but embracing human individuality and spontaneity, which I would argue is (paradoxically) more likely the case, for what I exposed in sections B and C. 

As for the second quote I put in bold, there are at least the following examples that render Dazai’s assumption (that Fyodor considers people boring) untrue: 1) in ch75, Fyodor openly praised Sigma, carefully examining his personal torment, placing him not only above the Hunting Dogs, but also above Dazai and himself, as well as “all of creation” ; 2) in ch78, in a flashback, as a reaction to (presumably listening to) Nikolai’s inner struggle, Fyodor replied “That’s wonderful”, smiling and tilting his head (see section B, as well as H for the significance of the tilt of the head); 3) in ch80, Fyodor described the Agency “as beautiful as the evening sunlight (…)”. If people are indeed boring to Fyodor, he would not find their struggles and states worthy of deeper consideration, lengthy speeches of praise or expressive, poetic comparisons (admittedly with a dash of pity and sarcasm towards the fate of the Agency). So far, Fyodor is never shown expressing boredom in the presence of other people, quite the contrary: he is shown expressing sincere interest, as if each human is a case study, an enigma to be unravelled, much like Fyodor himself is to me, and to us within the BSD community (therefore I chose that specific fragment from F.M. Dostoyevsky’s letters to start my essay with, as a motto; there is much more to be said about that, but I reserve that for another possible future essay, where it would be necessary to discuss Fyodor’s character in light of his corresponding author’s biography, personality and literary works as a whole). And so, I would argue that to Fyodor humans are not boring, but providers of entertainment worthy of attention and inspection, even more so when they play a role in his plans (and it seems everybody is playing on a stage set by Fyodor so far).

Fyodor is also quite fond of not only perceiving events or circumstances as games (like his mental chess game with Dazai in prison, starting in ch63, always mirroring the course of everyone’s actions outside), but also proposing this approach to others (his rooooundtable in ch64 and his card guessing contest with Ace in ch42), albeit not carelessly, as each time such – yeah, I cannot avoid it at this point, I’m a gamer myself, here it comes *inhales deeply* – each time such gamer approach has a multifaceted utility and never strays from serving Fyodor’s two main purposes, achieving his plan to cleanse the world of abilities, and having fun (yes). Killing boredom via playing games, especially when in the company of a person on the same level, seems to be the first move Fyodor does when faced with monotony (even in vol. 20’scredit page, where Fyodor said “I’m bored. Let’s play twenty questions”, even if Dazai immediately delivers the final answer “Snow White”, and thus Fyodor retracted his idea with “Actually let’s not”, as Dazai’s superhuman intellect killed the fun too fast).

To look into two examples just a bit more, in ch64, during his roooooundtable with Dazai, Fyodor suggested “Next, let’s ask a question at the same time”, which appeared to be innocently fun, because it challenges two persons, in this case a native and a non-native speaker of Japanese, to coordinate their spelling just for the amusement of simultaneity; then, in ch97, as Nikolai’s deadly prison game was about to start, Fyodor lamented the outcome he was confidently foreseeing: “Yet losing a chess opponent in the next 30 minutes is still quite sad”, saying this teasingly, still talking as if in the context of his and Dazai’s mental chess game. On a last, entertaining note, because why not, this entire section might as well serve as proof that Fyodor is cat-coded, just like Dazai (see @wintertaurus​​ ’s post here, where they scientifically prove this, I don’t make the rules), despite being the leader of the Rats in the House of the Dead, and so one more fine example of a fictional INTJ further strengthens the definition of INTJs as “human cats”.

F. Humble, not arrogant. Self-proclaimed god or servant of God?

Starting with the latter half of this section’s title, that is a very tricky subject, in fact, because we as manga readers can observe both 1) one line that established a connection early-on between Fyodor and calling himself “a god” if God is dead and 2) many lines by which Fyodor is actually displaying behaviour and speech akin to a self-aware servant of God. Let us begin with the first one. So, in the first chapter dedicated to showing Fyodor to the readers in more detail (ch42), and only in the original Japanese version and the fan translation, the first page of the chapter together with the last page feature a quote from F.M. Dostoyevsky’s Demons. The quote put together is “If God does not exist, I am a god”, which is part of a dialogue by the character Alexei Nilych Kirilov (“Если нет бога, то я бог”, see Part Three, chapter VI, II). Perhaps a beautiful coincidence, but in this exact wording that the fan translation chose, the quote also appears in Albert Camus’ The Myth of Sisyphus, chapter “Absurd Creation”, subchapter “Kirilov”, where the French author discusses F.M. Dostoyevsky’s Demons and the mentioned character, Alexei Nilych Kirilov. There, Camus calls that line “Kirilov’s premise”. In retrospect, this is a very puzzling line to appear associated with Fyodor, or rather appear as spoken or thought by him, giving the ambiguity of the quote’s placement on the pages. It is also puzzling because until now BSD gave us a character who seems like a better candidate for using that quote or being a reference to Kirilov, and by that I mean of course Nikolai. Moreover, the way Fyodor talks about or mentions God in dialogues that are clearly spoken by him later (I shall discuss examples in the paragraphs and sections below) very much conveys the message that Fyodor does not think God is dead, invoking him over and over (whether he is referring to the Judeo-Christian God or simply “a god” is not yet addressed in the manga). Still, the most striking information about this quote remains the fact that it is not featured in the official English translation at all. For comparison, I shall put an image with the last page in both versions below, and you can see the scan of the Japanese first page of ch42 here.

As we are walking on quicksand with this one, let us move on to the second point I mentioned at the beginning of this paragraph, about Fyodor as a servant of God. Because of his mission, of which he speaks as if it is of a higher calling, of divine nature, Fyodor also appears to see himself as a servant, namely a servant of God (servus Dei). He has the mind and the skill to carry out a mission of divine proportions (for us readers still an ambiguous goal: Fyodor, ch46: “And I will use that Book to make a world free of sin and skill users”, where “skill” means the same as “ability” and “gift”, as the fandom is used to these terms more). This, in turn, could have made him develop a strong sense of responsibility and a feeling of authority. As we are currently following the “servant” train of thought, these (sense of responsibility and authority) are not to be confused with what is called a “god-complex”, a slang expression which loosely corresponds to different actual psychological disorders such as narcissistic personality disorder, a thing Fyodor does not display core traits of. As of now, Fyodor remains surprisingly humble, discreet and respectfully formal both in speech (see @looking-for-stray-dogs’s posts here and here) and in gestures (see section H, on Fyodor’s body language), he acknowledges the possibility of imperfections and even welcomes them (ch63), he was never portrayed as becoming irritated at others (except his eyes expressing either anger or furious determination, as Dazai attempts to drown him and Chuuya in ch101), he is not a show-off and is indifferent to being adored or agreed with, and he knows how to take criticism elegantly when Dazai holds different opinions or outwits him. It is true that his grandiose “divine” goal, his frequent use of manipulation, and his apparent omnisciency and unbreakable composure give enough space to speculate regarding an underlying “god-complex” in his character (together with the ambiguous use of the quote discussed in the paragraph above), but the reader must acknowledge that, in all his replies, Fyodor refers to himself as if to a servant of God par excellence, as is the most evident in his ch77 reply to Dazai: “Me? I didn’t do anything. I just sat here and prayed… and those prayers were answered”. 

This direct self-characterization, too, plays against him having an actual “god-complex”. I would say that, by building on the humble yet powerful servus Dei image, if at all intentional, Asagiri presents us a far more complex character in Fyodor. For example, one of the many important subjects in Biblical exegesis, since the beginning centuries of Christianity, was how Jesus Christ, the Son of God, took upon himself the role of servant of God (see Philippians, 2, 6-7), but also of all humans (see the Washing of the Feet), and so humility and divine power become two closely tied ideas. In the manga’s context, Fyodor’s own humility can also have an added disturbing effect on the reader because of the implied power that coexists with it.

On the topic of the “arrogant villain” stereotype, I myself cannot find instances where Fyodor is, per se, arrogant. Longman Dictionary defines “arrogant” as “behaving in an unpleasant or rude way because you think you are more important than other people”, but we know for a fact that Fyodor behaves far from rude and unpleasant to others. Quite the contrary, he is humble and considerate, as can be deduced from his way of using the Japanese language (see the references linked in the paragraph above). He is never portrayed denigrating, humiliating or belittling someone else thus far. What is true is that Fyodor considers his goal (and not necessarily himself unless the manga reveals the opposite in the future) superior to anyone and anything on Earth, and this accentuates his heavy use of smooth manipulation instead of inflating his ego, actually hiding his true self behind more and more layers of words and actions he uses out of necessity to reach his higher goal. If we speculate that Fyodor is indeed (Orthodox) Christian and familiar with this doctrine, then it would be no surprise why Fyodor would cultivate humility instead of pride in general, as pride (superbia) is the beginning of all sin (Sirach, 10, 15) and when pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom (Proverbs, 11, 3). To sum up, I cannot find any manga panel where Fyodor is acting in an arrogant way, so I reached the conclusion that anything related to his arrogance, his stubbornness, his rudeness or, by extension, his superiority-complex is headcanon-territory at least for now. Only in chess did Dazai mention the “maliciousness” of Fyodor’s move while playing mental chess with him (ch72), and this malicious trait can refer to the bold and shocking way in which Fyodor attacks by directly using his King instead of other chess pieces (for a detail exposition of their chess moves, see @blackandwhitemusician​ ’s post here). Interestingly, Fyodor does indeed reply with “Malice is the greatest fruit God ever gave to man”, yet from what I gathered so far we still have yet to see a true act of malice from Fyodor, that is, an malicious action done for the sake of malice itself, and not for the sake of his higher goal demanding sacrifices or attacks on rival organizations. Lastly, from the current content one can safely deduce Fyodor is individualistic (in contrast to Dazai who seems to learn to rely on others, but once again I shall point to @linkspooky​’s post here to underline how, as they said, “Dazai doesn’t work together with others, he manipulates for the greater good”, emphasis in bold mine), but it would take more manga updates to make a step further and pinpoint Fyodor’s egoism or narcissism if he has any of these traits at all in himself, and not in how others portray him when they think about him (how Atsushi imagines him in ch63, or Ango in ch77, or Ranpo in ch95). Not only does Fyodor break antagonist stereotypes with these traits, but – still keeping the quote analyzed in the beginning of this section in mind – he continues to embody shockingly contrasting ideas all within himself, which takes us to the next section of this essay.

G. A strange divergence inside Fyodor. Is he a singularity?

Before I reach the point I want to present here, I suggest we reflect once more upon that unforgettable scene. Continuing in the atmosphere of the ideas from the paragraphs before, it is also important to remember how, in Dead Apple, Fyodor said “I am crime”, whereas his ability said “I am punishment”, and none of these imply Fyodor is seeing himself as a god incarnate who applies punishment, only that there is an open possibility that his ability, if it is an independent being/soul, might see itself as such, i.e. a force to punish others and/or to punish Fyodor himself. This would assign Fyodor himself the role of an agent serving someone or something else (presumably his own ability). About this, a quick note must be made here: since this is a piece of Japanese media, the word “god” can end up referring to something else rather than the Judeo-Christian God (whose name I always capitalize in this post, to emphasize the difference). We do not really know to what god Fyodor refers to all the time, who or what it is, or if said god’s identity remains the same throughout the manga. In this post, I chose to work with the assumption that Fyodor is Orthodox and refers to the Judeo-Christian God. Despite this assumption, I find the relationship between him and his ability truly intriguing, even more so if we put this discussion in the context of “singularities”, also known as “self-contradictory-ability-types”. Now, so far there are two clear instances where self-contradictions are implied in his dialogue, one of them being this scene from Dead Apple, the other one becoming evident when we connect Fyodor’s replies in ch63 (left) and ch77 (right).

Fyodor, ch63: “A Decay comrade asked me for the perfect plan… but perfect is so boring. I won’t be able to view the karma of humanity like this.” Fyodor, ch77: “You pulled the strings of conspiracy yourself, no? But God prefers perfection and harmony. Thus, I followed the heart of God and added one line to the page.”

By openly giving contradictory information, to me this is exactly an occurrence of a stark divergence within Fyodor, so let us give it our complete attention in what follows. Firstly, there is the possibility that Fyodor could choose to say something intentionally if he would directly benefit from the receiver hearing those exact words, even if Fyodor’s own belief lies somewhere else entirely (so the question to that remains open: what does Fyodor truly think about perfection, imperfection and God?). Secondly, in Dead Apple, we see Fyodor and his ability merge back together, from two bodies back into one single body, and this action seems completely voluntary on their part, thus opening the possibility that Fyodor and his ability could manifest separately when they will it. This makes me wonder if each of them can take over their shared body (in turns) when they will it, so that one of the lines reflects Fyodor’s way of thinking, and the other line reflects his ability’s way of thinking, thus the two statements are made in separate frames, resulting in no contradictions being made if, and only if, Fyodor and his ability control the shared body in turns. Even so, because they coexist, the ingredients for a singularity are already there within Fyodor, given this example and the Dead Apple scene, because Fyodor and his ability each identify with a term that contradicts the other (“crime” and “punishment”), with a possible implied superiority or “victory” on his ability’s part (the “punishment” bringing the “crime” to an end, lastly “killing” it on a conceptual level, in a succession that implies a linear flow of time). It would be all the more logical, in this context, for Fyodor to desire victory over his own ability at all costs. How his goal is worded in the Dead Apple Official Guidebook, as pointed out by @aja154ever​​ here, could also indicate a suspicious tension between Fyodor and his ability: “To create a world without Abilities is his desire, and it is a mystery if this has any connection to his Crime and Punishment Ability” (see the quote’s full paragraph on his ability in their other post here). For important references from the light novels on what singularities are, how they come into being and how they can manifest, as well as a wonderful theory on the possibility of Dazai being a singularity himself, see @beans-beneath-moonlight​​ ‘s post here. To close this chain of ideas, indeed on the open possibility of Fyodor being a singularity too, I want to mention what @beans-beneath-moonlight​​ observed in their post too, namely that in the BSD light novel 55 Minutes, there is also “Gab”, Jules Verne's ability that took over and killed him, continuing to live on its own as a separate being, so abilities existing separetely from their user’s bodies, as well as malicious abilities that can turn against their users, both can exist in the BSD universe. Lastly, I put just one useful, but short reference below, on a singularity’s cause and terminology:

Professor N in the BSD light novel Storm Bringer: “By causing a logical conflict with your own ability instead of with someone else’s ability, you can create a singularity,” as he said that Professor N raised his index finger and twirled it around. “That sort of ability. The German researchers who first discovered this, had named it ‘self-contradictory-ability-type’.

There is one last relevant dialogue I want to analyze here. Below are all of Fyodor’s words from his first appearance in ch12:

Official translation – Fyodor, ch12: “It’s all as I predicted. No matter what happens, we reserve the right to do as we please. Just as the hand of God and demon wills it…” Fan translation – Fyodor, ch12: “Everything is going as expected. In any case... you are now given free reign... as indicated by the right hand of God and the demons.”

Notice how the official translation says “the hand of God and demon” (demon is singular), while the fan translation says “the (right) hand of God and the demons” (demons is plural). I asked @popopretty​ for their advice as to how to understand this line better and, according to them, the Japanese quote allows for the noun “demon” to be translated either way. I shall put their answer below:

@popopretty​: (…) according to the Japanese version I have, the original phrase for that last sentence is “神と悪霊の右手が示しす通りに”, which directly translates to “as the right hand of God and demons show/point to”. There is no word to indicate that the word demon is singular or plural, but looking at the context, I think it is safe to assume that its plural. It says “right hand” here, which I believe because the phrase “right hand of God” is used a lot in Bible. It doesn’t make much different compared to the “hand of God” though, so I think the translation you quoted is close enough.

I agree that the chapter’s context, as well as the two coated shadows behind Fyodor, allow for an undertanding where “demons”, in plural, refers to Fyodor’s co-workers within his organization, Rats in the House of the Dead. However, since the official translation opted for “demon” in singular, I want to explore the other possibility here: what would it imply if “demon” is indeed meant to be singular here? I would connect this to what is stated to be Fyodor’s motto in the Dead Apple Official Guidebook “Mist Records”: “Follow the guidance of God’s hand”, as translated by @looking-for-stray-dogs here, or “Let the hand of God guide you”, according to the BSD wiki. It seems Fyodor’s character is connected once again to the symbol of the hand, specifically the manus Dei or dextera Dei, which, in art history, indicates divine intervention, divine approval, divine acceptance, as well as God’s – the Creator’s – omnipotence (see, for example, Acts, 7, 50: “nonne manus mea fecit haec omnia?” – “was it not my hand that created all these <things>?”). The hand of God can not only refer to God (the Father) himself, but also to God (the Son), appointing him to his right hand’s side (as prophecized), which means divinely appointing him as both his “representative” and “equal” (“sede a dextris meis donec ponam inimicos tuos scabillum pedum tuorum”, which, mot-a-mot, would go something like this: “sit to my right hand’s side until I put your enemies as the footstool of your feet”, which is Psalm 109, 1 in the Biblia Vulgata, a verse invoked by Christ himself in Matthew, 22, 44, marking a fascinating continuity between the Old and the New Testament). So, considering this information, the expression “the hand of God and demon”, referring to the subject or entity who “wills” whatever it wills, establishes not only a connection, but a shocking equality between the nouns “God” and “demon”, as the hand belongs to both of them. By definition, the two nouns cannot be synonyms, under no condition, thus the subject of the action makes no valid sense and cannot be an actual conceivable “being” without an external reader’s interpretation (like this one I am trying to unfold). Following on that, what can exist or be conceived in the human mind is someone or something whose “being” implies the contradictory yet inseparable coexistence of someone / something that possesses godly traits and someone / something that possesses demonic traits. Therefore, I interpret the expression “the hand of God and demon” as referring to Fyodor himself, or, more precisely, Fyodor’s existence, which implies him and his ability together, where one represents the “god” and the other the “demon”, although it is still unclear which is which. Given all this, I propose the theory that Fyodor is a singularity, just like Dazai (continuing in the spirit of @beans-beneath-moonlight​​ ‘s theory post I referenced before).

Moving on from the singularity discussion, based on Dead Apple’s “I am crime. I am punishment” scene once again, one can only be certain that the link between “sin”, “ability” and “punishment” becomes even stronger, but apparently so does the link between “human” and “crime”. It is no surprise that the famous nouns of the literary work are used for this scene, nouns that can refer to both the active and the passive component of the implied action (commiting a crime vs being the victim of a crime; applying punishment vs receiving punishment). This begs the questions: would freeing the world of abilities also liberate Fyodor of his own punishment (whatever it is, if it exists at all)? does “freeing” the world of abilities even imply “killing” the gifted, and if yes, would that lead Fyodor to a final act of self-sacrifice (or, closer to the etimology of the word “sacrifice”, an act of making the offered thing sacred – himself in this scenario, together with all the gifted)? If we take into account how Fyodor concluded that he and newly “scouted” member Nathaniel Hawthrone “will cover this land in the blood of the sinners” (ch37), together with what Fyodor said as he and Karma looked at Ace’s hanged corpse (ch42, Fyodor: “Thinking is a crime. Breathing is a crime”, or, in the anime’s dub, S3ep4, “Crime starts with thought. As natural as breathing”, emphasizing the naturality of whatever Fyodor identified as humanity’s “crime”), as well as what Nathaniel chanted as he was on his assassination jobs (ch46, to Fukuzawa: “Death! Death! Death to the skill users! An eternal underground sleep with no awakening!”, as well as ch46, to Akutagawa: “Death! Death! Death to the skill users! … To revive my beloved, I must execute the contract of death”), then we have canon ground to believe the death of all gifted is necessary after all, yet Fyodor never uses such expression. It is always “freeing”, “offering the salvation of death to the evil” (note how he does not say “the gifted”), “granting the great silence”, like in how Fyodor talks to Karma in S3ep4: “All evils that plague this world will receive the mercy of death”, “I will do you the honour of granting you the great silence”, “May you be free from the shackles of your crimes, and your soul be salvaged”. This raises another problem: Fyodor himself, as he says, applies cleansing, purification, salvation, liberation, but his ability clearly refers to these acts as “punishment” instead, which is a completely different concept in a religious context as well. So far, once again, this marks a divergence between Fyodor and his ability, another clear moment when the ability seems to behave like a different entity than its user, with a different perception of what the ability itself does (one possibility being, what to Fyodor is “freeing”, to his ability is “punishment”, or that his ability’s “punishment” is a “cleansing” or “freeing” in a corrupted sense of the words). As a closing remark regarding Fyodor’s goal in general, there is still a lot of room to speculate on its true nature if we consider the possibility of Fyodor opposing not the Agency, nor the Port Mafia, but first and foremost the military and different governments who 1) already have a bloody history of using ability users in the war (as implied by Yosano’s backstory and the bits of Fukuchi’s backstory), 2) had (and might still have) special laboratories researching and even artificially creating ability users or researching ways to exploit singularities (BSD Storm Bringer), 3) may have massproduced abilities of specific destructive types, according to one war story of Fukuchi’s past merits (ch82, when we are told he led an operation to eliminate 100.000 “skill-based ‘werewolf’ test subjects”, with Teruko and Jouno visible alongside Fukuchi in the panel describing this – one hundred thousand “test subjects”! for what?), 4) was aware of or working according to an entire skill doctrine, already developed and, I assume, generally-known at the time Mori used Yosano, a mere child, as his slave to achieve his Immortal Regiment plan, meant to prove that abilities are indeed suitable for use in war (ch65). In relation to this, we could take into account the possibility of Fyodor being repulsed by Ace’s behaviour in ch42 (as suggested by certain expressions of Fyodor in the manga), given that Ace represented the perfect example of someone using other people without any consideration of the weight of their lives, their personhood and their inner world. If this is the “evil” that Fyodor wants to purge from this world, and if making abilities disappear, one way or another, would make him accomplish this “greater good” (ending the use and abuse of ability users worldwide), then we are all the more justified in weighing the morality of anyone involved in this large scheme, starting with those implied in Natsume’s Tripartite Framework, supposed to maintain peace in Yokohama (the Armed Detective Agency, the Port Mafia, and the Special Division for Special Powers together with the military police). Besides this, how he phrased his goal in ch46 draws attention to how he identifies at least two different “sins” in current mankind: 1) that they consciously ignore the fact that they are controlled, and 2) that they keep killing each other regardless of said knowledge (ch46, Fyodor: “Man is sinful and foolish. Even if they know it is all an artifice, they cannot help but kill each other. Someone must purify them for those sins”). Based on this, one can assume he wants to stop people from killing each other, by itself a noble goal, but a backstory is much needed to understand the real nature of it before applying judgement. Personally, based on the current status of the manga, I am neutral on this while keeping it in mind, because Fyodor’s higher goal is still ambiguous, and one should not sugarcoat him, nor paint him as a pure demon just yet. After all, all BSD characters are extremely nuanced, and tastefully so. If we also take into consideration his profile page from the BSD Season 3 guidebook (see @ahli-stuff​​ ’s post here) and how he considers his strength “wishing for world happiness” and his favorite type of person “someone who loves all humanity equally”, we can further wonder if Fyodor will be revealed as a character who genuinely cares the most about all of humanity, with a love that may or may not have become dark till present time, or a love that demanded and still demands the cruelest sacrifices.

H. Soft, discreet, graceful, yet playfully dramatic. His body language in the manga, in comparison to the anime

There are many differences between the manga representation and the anime representation of Fyodor’s body language, not to mention the representation of his character overall. I suggest we treat the manga and the anime (this includes Dead Apple) separately and leave the creation of a clear list of the converging and diverging points for another potential post. I shall begin this section with the following statement, in hope of leading anime-only BSD fans to the truth: soft Fedya is real, because canon Fedya is soft. In the manga, Fyodor’s postures and gestures convey gentleness, discreetness, grace and fragility, in multiple instances I shall present below, in a random order.

MANGA. Being considerate. Speaking of discreetness and being considerate, let’s list a few examples of that. In ch42, when Fyodor’s ability activated to kill Karma, causing blood to shoot from Karma’s face, Fyodor did not look at the dying child, turning to face him only after he died, which can be interpreted as an act of respect for Karma’s intimacy during his final moments (see section B for a more in-depth analysis of Karma’s demise). Another occasion when Fyodor’s consideration was evident is in ch49 and how he took off his shoes and coat when entering Katai’s house (basic common manners, even though we must admit this is still bizzare in the context of breaking into a house to shoot someone, but read on), while the anime portrayed him fully-clothed, with his boots on (S3ep10), thus (what can I even say) disrespectful and uncaring of the cleanness of the (nonetheless wild and messy) house of his intended victim (in the end, not too surprising coming from the man who calls even his vampire slave with honorifics, “Chuuya-san”, in ch101, but also his abducted prisoner “Katsura-san” in ch47; for BSD uses of honorifics and nicknames, check this post here, but keep in mind that it covers info till ch87). His consideration of cleanness is also supported by the fact that Fyodor hid his ushanka in a clean, empty wooden box during his mission to stab Mori and infect him with Pushkin’s virus (ch46), yet the anime replaced the wooden box with a dumpster (S3ep8), setting the fandom down a cursed path of tasteless spamjokes basically.

Gentle touch of minimum intrusiveness. In the manga, the hand position when Fyodor is about to use his ability on someone also conveys gentleness and minimum intrusiveness (barely touching the forehead, using the tips of his index and middle fingers). Even the movement towards the forehead appears slow and elegant, thus even more sinister (for more on this hand gesture and its meanings, see section A). In the anime, however, this hand gesture is replaced by one that makes more physical contact with the other person, obstructing their view and breathing while being uncharacteristically intrusive: instead of Fyodor discreetly touching Karma’s forehead like in ch42, in S3ep4 Karma’s face is fully covered by Fyodor’s palm, which looks uncomfortable, unnatural and oppressive. Another revelant portrayal here, one that also conveys Fyodor’s overall gentleness in gestures, is present in ch64’s cover art: in contrast to Dazai, who holds his white pawn between his thumb and index + middle finger, Fyodor holds his black pawn between his thumb and middle + ringfinger, which, if reenacted, distinguishes itself by how Fyodor is using the least amount of pressure possible to lift the chess piece (thus very graceful), and so we have Dazai, who “takes” the piece and moves it insisting on a more secure grip, contrasting with Fyodor who “guides” the piece, letting it gently hang between his fingers as it is swayed following Fyodor’s movements.

High physical endurance. Despite his frail body, we can safely assume Fyodor has high endurance and vitality, given how he did not even flinch when Ace smashed a full wine bottle in his head (ch42) and how he let himself get captured and be kept in harsh prison conditions at least twice (ch42, ch54) before ending up in Meursault. There is also how he ran away from Mori and Elise (ch46) without gasping or showing fatigue afterwards. More canon material is still needed in order to establish how accurate or severe his self-proclaimed anemic condition is (ch42, “My body is weak and anemic”) or his low blood pressure (BSD Season 3 guidebook, but I only had access to this info via this post here and would greatly appreciate someone confirming this).

Oratory skills and expressive hand gestures. In the manga, Fyodor is always highly expressive in what regards his hand gestures during speeches, yet in a practical and elegant way, implying he has great oratory skills or training, besides excellent communication and manipulation skills (discussed in section C and pretty much all others). In ch42: Fyodor clapped as his card game with Ace ended, thus expressing joy through words and action; Fyodor pretended to be taken aback by Ace having listened to his and Karma’s talk, scratching his head in a wide-open gesture, conveying surprise and acknowledgement of Ace’s skills; Fyodor put a hand to his chest when telling Ace he has trained himself for “battles of starvation”, this gesture emphasizing the personal aspect of the information he offered, which this gesture implies is wholehearted and sincere. In ch46, while explaining his strategy and his way of thinking to Dazai, Fyodor uses various hand gestures to illustrate his phrases as well: extended arm explaining; hand pointing towards Dazai; explaining his higher goal with open palms in front of him, but close to his body, suggesting solemnity and confessed determination; sadly, all these gestures were replaced in the anime with Fyodor just holding his ushanka to his chest, conveying the same type of message as when he held his hand to his chest in front of Ace in ch42, as I described a few phrases above; still, at least in S3ep4 anime Fyodor gesticulated a lot while talking to Ace before the latter’s suicide, following ch42 pretty closely). In ch55, after entering Mushitaro’s basement prison cell, as Fyodor was revealing his intention behind freeing Mushitaro, he raised both hands to his chest, his fingers resting on each side of his heart, a gesture meant to suggest utmost sincerity. After that, still in ch55, when informing Mushitaro on the change of his condition (Mushitaro was captive, “but that ends today”, as Fyodor said), he held his right index finger to his lips, in a mischievous display of secrecy and child-like playfulness. This same gesture can have sinister undertones as well, given how it already appeared in ch47 in this way, where it is suggested, in a flashback background, that Fyodor did the same gesture when asking fake Pushkin to convey the “No changing the rules” message to the Agency, and they found this out after the death of the children. Lastly, these oratory skills can be used in playfully dramatic ways too, like in ch64, when Fyodor switched to the discourse of an overly-expressive, lively host of a (talk)show, as he suggested Dazai to participate in his “All-smiles Problem-solving Roooooundtable, hosted by yours truly, Dostoyevsky��, tilting his head further and further to his right as Dazai expressed growing confusion at first. About Fyodor tilting his head and what it means, see the paragraph below. So, all these scenes point to the fact that Fyodor gesticulates a lot, especially for emphasis and expressiveness during speeches or conversations, or for the fun of the dramatic effect.

Curiosity and tilt of the head. In conversational circumstances, we often see Fyodor tilting his head to his side. In his case, this is an expression of curiosity, in the sense of being (or wanting to appear to be) genuinely interested in the other person’s answers. Note that the simple tilt of the head to one’s side can also express endearment towards the thing one looks at (in genuine concern or admiration of something beautiful or dear, for example), but, combined with oratory skills – which Fyodor possesses as a master of communication – this can be a very effective tool that translates into non-verbal emotional manipulation. To give a few examples, Fyodor tilted his head 1) when he asked Sigma if he wished for a home (ch75), 2) when he replied to Nikolai capturing the essence of his inner conflict (ch78), 3) when greeting (and even bowing to) Mushitaro in the basement, just before offering him a deal to escape (ch55). In all these cases, the persons Fyodor was conversing with were already in a vulnerable situation (Sigma wandering in desperation, Nikolai presenting his inner struggle, Mushitaro being held captive), and thus Fyodor made sure to bind each of them to himself, planting the seeds of dependency by offering them validation and emotional response. Moreover, as a gesture of (apparent) trust, if someone tilts their head to the side, they present themselves in a vulnerable position (the neck area is open), subtly conveying the message that the other person is in a position of superiority, deepening the trap that, in Fyodor’s case, ends with the other people becoming dependent on him as the “benign” manipulator. Still, because of the display of vulnerability, the tilt of the head in itself is a gentle, humbling gesture, very fitting for Fyodor, whose character presence builds on the inexplicable tension between the terror and apprehension brought by his vast intellect and unknown powers, and the humility and gentleness of his speech and body language. The fact that, as of now, we still cannot draw a firm line and say from where to which point Fyodor’s gestures and words are genuinely benevolent or actually malevolent, so he remains beyond good and evil, and fascinatingly so, until more of his character or backstory is revealed. As a last example of Fyodor tilting not his head, but his entire body as an expression of curiosity, in ch42, finding Ace’s vault, Fyodor did exactly that and approached it together with a curious look (eyes opened wider, eyebrows raised), asking Karma something to which Fyodor already knew the answer probably anyway (“Oh, is this it? The vault where ace holds his jewels temporarily, to prevent a price collapse?”) and still Fyodor asked Karma because, I assume, having a conversation made the discovery simply more fun for the moment.

Biting his fingertips and nails. In ch42, Fyodor is seen biting his fingertips in three different panels, and yet the anime (S3ep4) never shows him doing this. Later on, we never see him biting his fingertips “on screen”, but “behind the scenes” he has been continuously doing so even up to the most recent chapter. Looking closely, you can see how his fingertips and nails are damaged and rough even at Meursault, for example, in ch95, when Fyodor is passing Dazai the salt, or in ch101, when Fyodor is inputting security codes to unlock prison doors. Of course, among other things, this habit indicates a Crime and Punishment novel reference, which should be discussed in a different post, and has in fact been discussed in nice posts by other BSD fans already. This aside, unlike his depiction in Dead Apple, manga Fyodor consistently keeps his hands ungloved.

Surprise and adrenaline rush. Other than the moments when his face shows curiosity, in the manga Fyodor’s composure appears to break rather often to express surprise, usually when 1) an brilliant move was made by an adversary team or someone else, but more recently also when 2) the enemy team made a move faster than Fyodor expected. In several of these occasions, his shock is accompanied by what seems to be delight, and I would interpret this as Fyodor enjoying the adrenaline rush of near-death situations (Nikolai’s prison game, introduced in ch95.5 / ch96, to which both Fyodor and Dazai reacted in a grimly ecstatic way) or general “end of the road” scenarios (Dazai and Fitzgerald “catching” him in ch53, although Mushitaro revealed that Fyodor’s capture was intentional in ch54: “And I… can never be forced to reveal the reason Dostoyevsky let them capture him!”). Now, for the second type of surprise, the clearest examples are Fyodor’s ch101 reactions to being cornered by Dazai and the prison room starting to get filled by heavy water. His expressions there do betray true shock, as much as his stare at the end of ch101 expresses true boiling anger and determination, but one must note that, despite letting his composure break, Fyodor may have already anticipated Dazai’s moves, and the true source of his surprise was Dazai executing said moves sooner than anticipated by Fyodor (for example, when the code input device explodes in front of Fyodor’s face, after an initial shocked expression, his eyes regain a look of steel, rationalizing “he got the circuit already”). In any case, for most insight on the whole ch101 situation and the in-context implications of this “already”, I recommend checking out @videogamelover99​​ ’s post here on, well, basically Dazai being too Dazai for his own good, or @vampireonastick​​ ’s post here for more discussion on the whole ch101 situation).

ANIME. The anime went with a different characterization of Fyodor entirely so far (as of now, November 2022, the anime has 3 completed seasons, and the trailer for January 2023’s season 4 revealed enough to see the anime’s characterization for Fyodor has not changed at all). In the anime, instead of being soft and discreet, Fyodor is confident, audacious and, I would say, stereotypically evil and creepy, whereas in the manga his sinister side comes to the reader’s eyes as a result of all the subtleties his behaviour and schemes imply, as well as a result of the contrast between his gentle appearance and his unnerving actions and plans, as I already wrote above. For example, in S3ep8, anime Fyodor smirked daringly at Mori after he stabbed the Mafia boss, seemingly enjoying it, yet in the manga Fyodor kept a blank face. Since various other differences between the manga and the anime were already discussed before this point of my essay, I propose an analysis of Fyodor’s body language in Dead Apple specifically, which goes hand in hand with his portrayal in the anime, and therefore differs significantly from the soft Fyodor we get to know in the manga.

Secrecy. In Dead Apple, in the first scene that reunites Shibusawa, Dazai and Fyodor, we see Fyodor approaching their table with confident steps and hands in what appears a rather tight grip, as opposed to letting his fingers comfortably open on each side of his body. This could express repressed or hidden intentions, as his fingers, in a fist, cover his palms and do not allow a completely relaxed stance. Next, unlike Dazai, Fyodor does not cross his legs when at the table, he instead positions both his feet firmly and perpendicularly on the ground, which conveys confidence as well, and is meant to assert total control of the room. When putting his arms on the table, he intertwines his fingers and rests his chin on his joined hands. This is a meditative position, suggesting a serious thought process going on behind his puzzling smile (again, suggesting confidence), as well as careful planning, or simply waiting for things to happen as he planned beforehand. His closed eyes shut down the world outside him, we could interpret this as logical in this situation if Fyodor has already predicted and planned everything through, which the movie suggests was indeed the case. The outside world is not as necessary to see in that case, plus he is surrounded by people who will not act impuslively and threaten each other out of the blue, so a sense of blind trust stays between the three strategists. One last thing to note about this scene is the fact that only Shibusawa and Fyodor are facing each other, while Dazai is facing no one, which may subtly suggest the personal bond between Shibusawa and Fyodor, one that Dazai does not share with anyone in the room, or (arguably) anyone at all after Odasaku’s death.

Confidence. In Dead Apple, Fyodor’s pose conveys confidence when Shibusawa shows Dazai the Draconia room (Fyodor is seen with his left hand on his waist, in contrapposto); Fyodor’s pose conveys having hidden motives when he and Dazai entered the Draconia room in secret (Fyodor has his back turner to both Dazai and the viewers, with his hands in his coat’s pockets; Fyodor’s pose conveys confidence AND having hidden motives when Shibusawa surprisingly stabs Dazai, followed by Dazai asking Fyodor “Didn’t you lock the door?” (Fyodor has his hands in his pockets, but also smirks and chuckles at Dazai while looking down to him, with Fyodor’s chin slightly raised).

A playful mind. As to what regards Fyodor’s playful mind, it is made more or less evident through Fyodor’s play of words and sharp, intelligent replies (see section E for his love for entertainment specifically). In Dead Apple, as the singularity event unfolds, Fyodor told a shocked Shibusawa that he will “fill in all the blanks” for him: Fyodor added “I’ll even tell you what was cut out”, proceeding to cut Shibusawa’s throat immediately after. This is a splendid play of word and action, coordinating them in a twisted sense of playfulness, indulging michievously in living a life entertaining for himself. But seriously, for more on Fyodor and his sense of entertainment, see section E above, it would be superfluous to repeat ideas here.

– – –

11 November 2022. At last, we arrived at the end of this essay. The end for now at least, as I could technically add more analysis and external references in the future, if my irl schedule allows it. Since January 2022 I’ve been working on this “thing” I jokingly called “marriage proposal PhD”, because why not, this is an accurate example of how an ENTP proposes to an INTJ, where understanding the other (or continuously trying to) is peak intimacy and love. I guess. However, I “yeeted” my emotions out while I was writing this, because nothing would have angered me more than my appreciation of this character clouding my judgement or making me err in my pursuit of the many subtleties that lead to his many paradoxical traits. Whether I will update this post or not in the future, I cannot promise. This post is intended to be my last contribution to the BSD fandom, but my ask box remains open for futher discussions on BSD or other media analysis. I doubt fans will read everything I wrote, and I am certain the fandom will perpetuate the cycle of Fedya’s mischaracterization despite my best efforts to bring many canon scenes showing different sides of him into the spotlight. 

Yes... Despite everything, I am at peace. I thought no media could revive my passion for analysis anymore, no character could make me draw fanart again, and yet... and yet!... Fedya is exactly the type of character one can analyze ad infinitum and feel thrilled at each discovery, at each little possible implication of a word or gesture. No matter how tranquil he may seem, no matter how certain we may be at first of his exterior serenity, for everything his character encapsulates, for everything we know and don’t know about him thus far, Fyodor’s soul is likely vessel to an incredible inner tension, origin of his determination. As I was writing more and more, I discovered he is intense, so truly intense, and that intensity has brought me… and brings me... and will bring me

boundless bliss.

Happy birthday, радость моя.

[bi-bard]

Impressive - Nikolai Lantsov Imagine [Shadow & Bone]

Title: Impressive

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov X Reader

Word Count: 1,760 words

Warning(s): canon-typical violence

Summary: The four times Nikolai was desperate to impress (Y/n). And the one time that they could admit that he succeeded.

Author's Note: Kinda hate how much he grew on me so quickly.

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Number One:

I knew that one day I would have to cross the Fold again.

That did nothing to change how much I dreaded it. I was terrified of being stuck or killed. I could put on a brave enough face, but all I could think about when I thought of the Fold was all of the tragedy that accompanied it. The pain and death and misery. Not just my own, but the world around it.

That was enough to scare me to my core.

And then, Nikolai let us in on his method of getting across the fold.

Well, he didn't tell us anything. He showed us.

I watched as the ship shifted into a different machine that then separated from the rest of the ship. The sound of engines starting was accompanied by shaking and very little explanation.

"Oh, saints!" I wrapped an arm around the main pillar in the hopes of keeping myself steady. I looked over. I could see us moving upward. "Flying? Are you serious?"

"You sound impressed," Nikolai replied, lifting his arm so he could rest his elbow against the pillar next to me.

I glared at him for a moment. "Terrified."

"Oh, don't be," he waved off my worries. "We've made many improvements since the ones that crashed."

"Thank you," I said sarcastically. "The history of you crashing to the ground is unbelievably comforting."

He held his hand out to me. "Come here."

"I'm comfortable here-"

"(Y/n)," he pushed.

I took a deep breath and relented, placing my hand in his.

He pulled me over to the railing. He moved to grab my upper arms, holding me in place so I could look out at the view.

"What do you think," he asked.

"That I may vomit over the edge," I muttered.

"Lovely," he mumbled back before walking away. "Just don't lean too far over. I would hate for you to fall."

I looked at the distance below us before quickly stumbling away from the edge.

I heard a laugh behind me, causing me to glare at Nikolai again. He just smirked at me.

This time together was going to be far too long.

Number Two:

Finding out the truth about Nikolai and his family was a harsh shift for Alina, Mal, and myself.

I didn't get to confront him at first. Alina took that responsibility into her own hands by punching him.

With all of the people and information, I didn't get the chance to say anything until we were riding toward the Spinning Wheel.

"Were you ever going to tell us the truth," I asked as Nikolai moved to ride alongside me. "Or did you hope that it would never be a relevant conversation?"

He chuckled. "I will admit that I hadn't quite planned how I was going to tell you the truth."

I nodded.

"It was all in the hopes of doing good for the people I loved."

"Why would telling the three of us make any difference?"

"Would you have ever trusted me if I told you who my family was?"

"Do you honestly believe that I am inclined to trust you now?"

He paused. We each looked at each other for a few spare moments before I turned my attention back to the path before us.

"I will earn your trust," he said after a while.

"I will be very impressed if you manage that," I replied.

"Even more motivation to do so."

I turned to him again, but he had already started to look straight ahead with a smirk sitting on his lips.

I couldn't tell if I was irritated by his confidence or if I respected it.

Number Three:

Staying at the Spinning Wheel was an interesting experience.

There was no question of the tension in the air. After what the Darkling had done, the royal family and their soldiers weren't exactly supportive of Grisha's being among them.

Nikolai seemed insistent on making peace. Ever the diplomat.

Hence his proposal to Alina.

A move that admittedly caught me off-guard, but I had no comment about it. It wasn't my place to say anything about it.

I was standing off to the side of the feast, taking the time to allow my head to clear from all of the noise.

"I hope you aren't being scared away."

I looked over to see Nikolai walking over to me with a proud grin on his face.

"Not at all," I replied. "Basking in the pride of uniting two feuding people?"

"Oh, we both know Alina will have much more power in that endeavor," he looked down at his drink for a moment. "How are you? How is your stay treating you?"

"I am quite content," I explained. "May I ask why you were wondering? Surely, my comfort isn't at the top of your list of priorities."

"Why would you say that?"

"Well, if I'm not mistaken... shouldn't you be more focused on your engagement," I asked, looking over at Alina.

He chuckled. "I would, but I find you far more interesting."

I looked back at him in shock. I couldn't find a word to say in response to that. I just froze for a moment. No sarcastic remark or insult could find its way to my lips.

"Careful," he mumbled. "You'll catch flies with your mouth hanging open like that."

I quickly closed my mouth and looked away from him.

"Quite impressed that I have the ability to render you speechless."

"Have a good night, Nikolai."

"You too, (Y/n)."

I had never been so embarrassed at how someone saying my name made me feel.

The prince was beginning to feel like a distraction.

Number Four:

I had no real reason for staying with Nikolai when the others went into the Fold.

I had merely held onto the belief that they didn't need me as much as he and his men did.

I was right, but that didn't mean that I had any power that could stand against the shadow monsters that the Darkling had created.

It felt senseless. Over half a dozen fighting one monster and making no progress.

I would have called it hopeless if the creature had pinned Nikolai to one of the pillars. After that, all I could feel was anger. Anger and fear.

Once the monster faded, all I could do was get to him as fast as I could. I had never been susceptible to such tunnel vision, but with Nikolai, it was different.

"Nikolai!"

I helped hold him up, so he was leaning up against the pillar. He was panting, his eyes wide. I had never seen such clear panic written on one person's face.

I grabbed the sides of his face so he would look at me. It took him a moment to recognize me, but when he did, his hands reached up and touched mine, holding them in place.

"Saints, you're alive," I muttered, feeling tears building in my eyes. I leaned my forehead on his, not putting any thought into the action. "You're alive!"

"You sound impressed," he mumbled back, smirking at me.

"You want to make jokes now," I asked, leaning away from him.

He simply shrugged, hissing at the pain in his shoulder.

"Come on," I said. "We need to go find the others."

He nodded, allowing me to help him off the ground.

I caught Tamar giving me a knowing look as I did so. I ignored it.

I had much more important things to worry about than whatever was between Nikolai and me.

And the Time He Succeeded:

I grinned at myself in the mirror.

It had been ages since I had found confidence in my own reflection, but if there were a day to find it, then Nikolai's coronation day was not the worst.

I had been so focused on admiring myself that I barely heard the knock at the door. I called for the guest to come in before my brain had truly recognized the sound.

I turned around the footsteps cut through the silence of the room. Nikolai stood before me. He was dressed for his day. I smiled at him.

"Wow," he mumbled, a smile stretching across his face.

"What," I asked. I chuckled a bit. "Impressed?"

"I'm always impressed by you," he replied. I tilted my head a bit, my eyebrows furrowing for a moment. "Why do you think I spent so long hoping to be in your good graces?"

"I assumed it was a way to hold up your ego-"

"It was because from the moment that I saw you, I knew there was something different about you," he cut me off as he explained, stepping closer to me. "You caught my attention so easily that it was almost unfair. I had no choice but to get you to see me as I saw you."

When he stopped moving, I felt as though my heart were in my throat. He was so close. Too close. It would have been so easy to lean forward and close the pointless distance that separated us.

But I didn't.

Instead, I asked a question, "And how do you see me?"

"Brilliant," he immediately said. His voice was soft. It sounded distracted as if he hadn't meant to say it out loud. "And brave. And strong. And... lovely. And protective. And gentle, even though you don't let that show very often."

I would have chuckled at the final comment if I hadn't been so stunned.

I had been called brave before. I had been called strong before. I had never had someone associate my name with the words lovely or gentle or brilliant. Maybe I had simply never captured someone's attention for long enough for them to find those words.

"I could use a million words to describe you and I would never feel as if I had said enough," he whispered. His hand came up to cup the side of my face.

"Nikolai," I mumbled.

He leaned in and pressed his lips to mine before I could think of what I was going to say beyond his name.

I slowly kissed him back, suddenly becoming aware of just how little experience I had when it came to matters like this. I tried to ignore that nervous feeling in my stomach.

He made it much easier. As he leaned closer and held me just where I was, I found myself with little else to think of beyond him. No fears or simple worries could pull me away from this moment.

Yes, I was definitely impressed.

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[jessaerys]

how many languages a character can speak is often narrative shorthand for intelligence so it is not surprising to me that it comes up often in wammy's house headcanons but i do find interesting that people often restrict the kids to perhaps three or four including their canonical english & japanese. perhaps throw in there a fanon mothertongue for mello since he is the one with the more foreign sounding real name and therefore exoticized. it's a very usamerican centric perspective imo given how unusual the usa's homogeneity of language is when contrasted to the rest of the world. being multilingual is relatively common really but especially in the global south where dialects vary greatly from location to location. i'd put five to seven languages still in the "very impressive but still in within normal range in the real world" level of ~genius~, BUT we are talking death note which runs on what you can call sherlock holmes logic (the characters are intelligent and therefore impressive because the writer who controls what deductions are right and which aren't, has willed it so) so personally i think it's in line with canon for both mello and near to be highly proficient in at the very least around a dozen languages for which they may have had formal education at wammy's (i don't think it's a stretch that more resources would be allocated towards the education of 'promising' heirs while neglecting those who aren't in the running. hey just like in real life!!!) not to mention there's also the matter of language maintenance & immersion; speaking any given language is famously a use it or lose it skill, but if we take into account that near is probably speaking with law enforcement and government agencies all over the world during the 5 year timeskip and mello is traveling all over the world they would have had plenty of practice. on top of that you can add another dozen languages that they have some level of fluency in that is either lost due to lack of practice or superficial in its acquisition to begin with. basically what im saying is: near and mello can and should be able to communicate in functionally whatever language suits them and when they are arguing they switch to the one that has the exact right flavor of motherfucker they want to call each other that day. near gets very talkative in creole when he's intoxicated. mello has a record for most curse words ever learned that no one will ever know about. japanese makes them far more aware of the structure of their rivalry. and that's not even getting into the semiotics of it all re: languages not only informing but creating the world around you and therefore subtly influencing your personality and sorry where am i what year is it