#dick in the box

[estobrotvpodcast]

[thorsonoflesbians]

god i love dune twitter

[ghostbsuter]

"I can see dead people." He mentions with a shrug, using the chopsticks to fish more noodles into his mouth.

Dick stares at him. "Huh."

"Is that why you help?" He asks, getting more spring rolls.

"Yeah. Once someone becomes a ghost, word gets out quick, and they come to me. Always tatling about unfairness and justice." The kid waves the words around, rolling his eyes.

Dick just pretens to he uninterested, despite his mind racing at the new info. He is piecing past moments together, every shadow leaping away, every note with tips, leads and—

Huh.

"Do you... like it? Doing all that?" Richard approaches thus carefully, brows furrowed at the kid opposite of him.

Danny moves his head, giving a 'so-so' answer. "It's not much to like, I can see ghosts, and they know it and use it. If it brings them to peace or whatever– well, that's just a plus."

Dick stares. He places his chopsticks down and looks at Danny worried.

In turn, the kid sighs. "Sometimes gifts become curses the longer you have it."

And Dick understands.

Mind made up, he throws a pair of keys at the kid, watching fondly as the other catches them with confusion.

"Next time use these, instead of entering through the window."

Danny mock-salutes with a shit eating grin. "Yes, Officer grayson."

[yesiknowimshort]

to keep up appearances, bruce asked the batkids to find reasons to excuse their various bumps and bruises:

dick was easy. gymnastics and acrobatics run deep within his veins and it’s always his “party trick”, so they just let the public come up with an answer themselves.

jason, mysterious as he is, never addressed his bumps and bruises. the public have settled on underground cage fighting.

tim’s was skateboarding and being “himself”. tim knows how he appears to the public, and as much as it pains his ego for people to see him in such a way, clumsiness fit his charming, dorky, public persona.

damian needs no excuse as he is a ‘rambunctious little ankle biter’, so bruce just lets damian straight up tell people shit like “i was engaged in battle with a duel wielding madman” and then says “kids and their wild imaginations, amiright?”.

steph insisted on fencing even though bruce argued that she would not realistically get many black eyes from fencing. she just tells people she’s very bad at it.

cass’ are from ballet duets.

duke just says “there was a spider” with no further context.

harper’s go to line is “you should see the other guy”.

and bruce is basically barbie so he comes up with a new sport each time he’s asked. and people believe it every goddamn time without question; because what else would a billionaire do with their time other than unicycle hockey and chess boxing?

[lustwithoutlore]

Barbara: What did you get Dick for his birthday?

Jason: I got him a Glutemaster

Barbara: Really? Me too!

Stephanie: I also got him a Glutemaster.

Duke, gesturing to himself and Tim: Looks like we had the same idea.

Jason, sighing: Kill me. Please tell me you didn’t get Dick a Glutemaster as well.

Cass: I got him… a Glutemaster 🥰

Later-

Dick, surrounded by Glutemasters: THIS IS THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!

[oneshotprincess]

i imagine that someone in gotham runs a 'how long has it been since bruce wayne adopted a kid?' twitter and it updates regularly with the exact number of days since whatever child's official adoption announcement. the replies are full of jokes about bruce wayne's adoption addiction

i also imagine that every once in a while, bruce wayne's official twitter account qrt's the latest countdown with 0 days, and that's how the public finds out about the latest wayne kid

[ozzgin]

I have no clue where the ice cream stuff came from, but I guess to each their own? I mean frozen treats have a wide variety and various versions that can be tasty. There is this frozen mango treat with chili powder that is meant to be a mix of sweet and spicy, there is that one thing where people put maple syup on freshly fallen snow and roll it on a stick to eat it, there are those who freeze their candy/candy bars cause cold taste better.

To sum it up, people like to have frozen stuff in their mouths.

And now my dirty mind has lead me to think about some type of snow monster with an ice dick to suck. Treat it like a snow cone and put flavored syrup on it. (Very sorry for this lol)

[pizzaapeteer]

Dick in a Box ~ Theo nott

Small blurb for @thatdammchickennugget week 2 hogmarch challenge, fire whiskey. This came to me randomly and made me giggle, because it's such goofy Theo behaviour. Hope people know this song from a SNL skit, dick in a box by lonely island. lmao please this is so silly, and I wrote it in like 20 minutes.... MNDI, mention of NSFW A/n: pretty divider from here

You had no idea why your boyfriend had asked you to his room during the middle of a party. He had disappeared half an hour ago, leaving you to stay dancing with your friends. You’d only assumed he’d gone off to smoke some weed and were surprised when he texted you. 

The hallway stretched out, creating a sort of illusion diverting you in taking your time till you reached Theo’s shared dorm. You pushed the door open, your eyes widening at what was revealed to you. Your hands flew to your face, amusement twinkling in your eyes, unable to keep yourself from letting out a burst of laughter. 

“What are you wearing?!” The flow of giggles was coming out hot now as your boyfriend stood arrogantly naked except for the large gift box strapped to his dick. Your eyes meet him as he wiggles his brows and motions his hands in a V towards his groin. “It’s my dick in a box!” The words poured from him proudly at his gift for you. He thought it was the coolest gift he’d ever given you before, the same way girls wrap themselves in a ribbon for Christmas. He was hot, and if they could do it, why couldn’t he also be a gift. Though he hadn’t expected you to be stuck in a fit of giggles, making him cross his arms, his face falling into a state of drunk seriousness. You clutched your chest, still giggling. Before you met his gaze, the level of intoxication was evidently clear in his reaction. Clearing your throat, feeling bad as you bashed on his “amazing idea”. You walked towards him smiling, reaching your hand out to pull the ribbon, “May I?” His face lit up in excitement, nodding as he smirked, watching the ribbon unravel before you lifted the top off. Despite the funniness of his idea, you couldn’t help but bite your lip at the reveal of his hardened dick, only just fitting inside the box. You leaned forwards still grinning amused as you kissed him, “just for me? Wow, baby, you shouldn’t have.” Theo, too gone to pick up on your sarcasm, kissed you back sloppily, his arms engulfing you. A quick knock alerted your attention as you turned to see who the invader was. Your eyes meet Mattheo’s, watching how his eyes widened at Theo’s attire. “The fuck-.” 

Theo’s face turned a shade of red you’d never seen before as he struggled to strip the box off. He fumbled with the cardboard, realising he's attached it too tightly to himself, groaning in frustration as Mattheo sprinted out of the dorm cackling. You couldn’t help but laugh at the unexpected turn of events as Theo sat on the bed mopping sadly. “My dick’s stuck in a box.” 

[daydreamerwonderkid]

A nightwing and his robins.

You do NOT have permission to repost my art.

Forgot to attach some WIPs.

I also wanna personally thank Serg Acuna for helping me figure out Dick's anatomy and hair. I have been struggling so hard with drawing Dick and it finally feels like something clicked right in my brain this time.

[mysterycitrus]

tbh found family loses all the juice the moment u decide to squeeze all the characters into boring nuclear boxes. “such and such is the dad” “so and so is the mom” “this and that is the oldest daughter” ok well who’s the grieving child who raises a grieving man in his own image, who becomes a symbol of joy and loss in the same name, who loses everything again and rebuilds himself taller and stronger and wiser, who loves the grieving man more than anyone else despite how being near him cuts his hands to bloody scars, who must fly higher, fall faster, outpace death itself so he might never miss another catch, huh

[dianna-knst]

can you draw vampire nightwing? i would love to see how he looks in your style!

A vampire!Nightwing for you 🙇‍♀️🖤 Thank you for the request!

[neuro-psyche]

hc that jason todd loves 90s romcom movies. The fairy tale ending and the simplicity of it all is 100% one of his guilty pleasures.

i feel like You’ve Got Mail is def one of his favorites. the references to pride and prejudice sold him on it. sure, he doesn’t like how Joe put Christine out of business, fuck late stage capitalism, but still.

Roy def showed up at (broke into) one of his safe houses while Jason was watching 4 Weddings and a Funeral and it went like :

Jason, sobbing during the funeral scene : What the fuck are you doing here.

Roy, already taking a photo for blackmail : Why the fuck are you crying.

Jason : I’m watching four weddings and a funeral.

Roy : What the hell is that.

Jason, already rewinding : Sit your ass down.

-Later-

Roy, sobbing violently during the funeral scene : He was his song, dude!

Jason, also sobbing violently despite having seen this movie hundreds of times : This scene never gets any easier.

Roy : We will never speak of this.

Jason : Speak on it and your body will end up in the river.

Roy : Agreed. Now shut up the movie is going.

also dick 100% watches the movies with him. they also both watch 10 things I hate about you and sob.

[heylosers06]

Little Dami was not allowed on Patrol one winter night due to a bad snow storm. Obviously he went out mad that he couldn’t go out but everyone else could. (He’s not used to he cold weather yet) He went out anyway and struck gold. He got in trouble later.

(He was being watched the entire time he went out by his family…the bright blue snow jacket was very helpful..)

[girlboyburger]

nothing to boil the blood in the morning quite like coming across an etsy page of AI generated furry adopts and going "okay, well, surely no one's *buying* these seven fingered airbrushed freaks," but, alas. almost 600 sales. making literal hundreds of dollars off of stolen work. fuck off and blow up.

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC Danny's Strange Gifts to the Bats

So you know how it's common knowledge to not accept any gifts from the Fae? Well, even if the batfam knows about it - I mean, they've dealt with a lot of otherworldly stuff, besides, you shouldn't take things from strangers no matter if they are Fae or not - they might not always abide by it. Unknowingly.

The trick is that you never know if it's a gift or not when you're dealing with the fair folk.

So things start appearing in the Wayne manor. Nothing out of the ordinary, really. A book left on the table in the library, a vintage teacup in the kitchen drawer, a cat toy with some real bird feathers. No one pays them much attention. After all, when you live in a family this big, you don't really keep track of who brings home what.

The book was probably left by Jason. The teacup is most likely Alfred's new addition. The cat toy is totally Damian's. It's not the first time and surely not the last when one or another member of the flock brought something to the manor. The book is put on the shelf, the teacup is now Steph's favorite, and Alfred the cat really likes those feathers.

And then, one day, they all get down for breakfast. Damian is the first to appear, with Alfred the cat in his hands, then comes Dick, who stayed in the manor for the weekends, and Steph, who was here for the movie night and decided going home was too much work. Tim comes to the table with a tablet that is quickly put away the moment Alfred starts serving food. Bruce and Duke come the last, taking their seats, and it is almost like a signal for everyone to start eating. After all, everyone is here now. It is peaceful and quiet, a rare but not unwelcome occurrence that Bruce greatly appreciates.

That is, until a few minutes later, Damian appears in the doorway.

"Good morning," he greets, and everyone at the table freezes.

And then does a double take.

Damian is in the doorway.

Damian is also sitting in his seat, eating waffles, the only one who did not stop when the other Damian appeared.

There are two of them.

Damian-sitting-at-the-table looks up to Damian-standing-in-the-doorway and smiles. His face is stuffed with waffles.

"Goov movning, bvothev," he greets back, and before anyone else can react, Damian-in-the-doorway clicks his tongue.

"You are in my seat. Move."

"I don't see your name on it, therefore it is not yours," argues the other one, not moving from his place. Yet now, when everyone can see his eyes, they finally notice the difference. The one sitting at the table has blue eyes.

Tim all but jumps up from his seat, slamming his hands on the tabletop:

"You-" he nearly chokes on his words, when blie-eyed Damian looks at him, and then at everyone at the table with a confused frown.

"But I thought you liked the vintage films for your camera that I got you? And those four-leaved clovers?" He asks, looking almost hurt. The normal, green-eyed Damian looks thoroughly disappointed:

"Have you been accepting my brother's gifts, Drake? You're lucky they were not courtship gifts."

"Court-" Tim sputters in the middle of the word, looking between the two.

Bruce lets out a long, absolutely resigned sigh. Was it too much to ask for just one, single normal morning?..

Long story short, Danny, being a fae and also just generally a little shit, kept leaving gifts for Bats all over the manor, and they all unknowingly accepted them one way or another, so now Danny has the power to ask for something in return. He chooses to just come to the manor and dump the fact that he is going to live here on them at breakfast. Technically, he just ended the long line of gifts by giving the last one, himself.

I have more for this AU here. Go check it out because it didn't get a lot of attention, but at this point, I'm committed and in love with it, so yeah. Fae Danny+Al Ghul Twins AU agenda for everyone.

[genderkoolaid]

what’s a salmacian? :0

It's a term to describe someone who wants/has mixed genitals (both a penis and a vagina). You can check out the r/salmacian subreddit (there's a good mix of afab and amab salmacians & even some folks who have gotten surgery), Salmacian.org, and A Guide to Salmacians (very comprehensive)