#he plays robin with jason AND steph AND damian

[unfortunately-obsessed]

In this silly little head of mine, Jason never saw Bruce and Dick fight. When he came into the manor and Dick felt like he has been replaced, he had the conscience to not scream at Bruce in front of the kid that has no fault on the matter. So screamed and cried because Robin, his mantle and his parents' legacy, was robbed and given to another person without his consent, he threw hands at Bruce for that. But never in front of Jason. Because Jason can't be blamed by Bruce's actions.

And as general rule, Bruce doesn't raise his voice when he's close to kids. Especially his kids, and especially kids that are traumatized, that are still raw from leaving a particularly difficult situation. He took this from Batman, from the very first year, and carried the habit to his sons

But after Jason dies? They're both drowning in blind grief

So when they fight, and they do fight, viciously, Tim is the one that is there to see it. He's the one the see all the ugly bits, the imperfections behind the mask– not only that, I don't think Jason as a kid ever saw his father cry. Bruce knew neither of his sons should ever carry his emotional baggage.

But Tim? Oh, Bruce's grief is a weight that presses upon his chest until he chokes, and the manor is so haunted by Jason's absence, emerged in such deafening silence, that Tim inevitably heard Bruce cry more than once. Until his own chest became so tight he needed to go and comfort Bruce too. This or he was going to go insane. He needed to fix it all, somehow

While Dick and Jason got to make play and silly tricks while in patrol, Tim, Cass, Steph and Damian got a Batman extremely paranoid with protocols, rules and safety measurements. Dealing with Gotham is a serious commitment and is not to be joked about.

So there's that. I'm not saying either Dick or Jason got a perfect version of Bruce. And I'm not saying that, in either case, Bruce is/was a bad father. On the contrary, Batman must always be a good father because of what he represent– what he is as a character

But, yes, being raised by Bruce pre and post Jason's death is a completely different experience

And it got me thinking about how Jason reacts to this after he comes back

[reineydraws]

based on that one bert and ernie behind the scenes photo of jim henson & co. :')

i drew this for fun and then i started thinking about how robin could be a two-person puppet dick's parents created and puppeteered together and dick inherits it when they die and he ends up passing it along to subsequent siblings to use together when he creates his own nightwing one and then i got emotional about it + the inherent quality of family-as-legacy that the robin puppet represents 🥺🥺 they have to share the role. robin means not being alone!!

bonus lol:

[crying-over-the-batfam]

Okay so these three (1 2 3)posts gave me a fix idea that hopefully I’ll write (my wip list is long okay).

Okay so what if when Thomas and Martha Wayne were killed the trauma it caused Bruce created a darkness in his soul and it broke off almost and it turned into his shadow, maybe it stayed dormant for a while maybe it didn’t. But it’s a dark part of him (although it does have it’s own light/kindness, dark doesn’t mean evil). It can take it’s own form rather than being just his shadow, and it can let him turn into a part of it which is what happens when he’s Batman, that’s what batblob really is. People from other cities like Metropolis and Central etc don’t understand why Gothamites call Batman a creature or a cryptid. I mean he’s just a vigilante. But gothamite know that there’s something not entirely human about him.

I drew on so many posts I’ve read with this

[redsray]

i love the idea of the batfam wearing each other's merch cause like. i know they'd be petty about it. usually they'd wear their siblings merch in (kinda) equal rotations, but they'd change it up depending on sibling squabbles or sibling favours. Tim, walking into the kitchen in a Red Hood shirt: Dick: TIM!? Tim: what Dick: it's Tuesday. you always wear Nightwing merch on Tuesdays. Tim: oh. Tim: you stole my last granola bar, last week. Steph, looking for something in Jason's room: JASON WHY DO YOU HAVE EVERYONE'S MERCH BUT MINE?! Jason, peeking into the room: i have your merch. in the trash. Steph: WHY Jason: you hit me with a blue shell in mario kart last game night. i'm never forgiving you. Damian, sporting a full-on Red Robin hoodie: Tim: woah. what brought this on? you usually only exclusively wear Batman or Nightwing merch Damian: you helped me take that splinter out of Alfred's paw yesterday. Richard on the other hand has recently messed up my painting palette. Dick, from the other room: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! Damian: he'll get over it. Cass, wearing Nightwing merch for the 5th day in a row: Jason: goddamn. what did Dickie do to get in your good graces like this? Cass, smiling: he made me a flower crown Jason: ... that's it? Cass: it was a very nice flower crown. Dick, buying seven Signal shirts: One for everyone. Duke, behind him: Dick, you really don't-- Dick: shhhh, sunshine. everyone will love your new merch. (they all wore exclusively Signal merch for a week straight) Bruce isn't allowed to change up his rotation or not wear someone's merch because he immediately gets accused of playing favourites. He'd rather keep some of his sanity, thank you.

[incorrectbatfam]

How small must the world be for both Bruce and Tim to witness John and Mary Grayson's deaths

Or for 10-year-old Duke to crack the Riddler's puzzle before Batman swoops in and saves the day, long before his powers came into play

Or for Sheila Haywood to leave her son only to end up assisting his killer a decade and a half later

Not to mention the popular fanon concept of Jason knowing baby Damian in the League of Assassins

Now imagine how many other invisible strings could've tied them together

Like what if Tim and Jason went to the same school when Jason was Robin but all they shared was the occasional bump and "excuse me" in the busy halls

Or what if Babs was a tutor and helped an elementary-aged Steph finally understand her homework only for the Browns to cancel after a couple sessions because they couldn't afford it

What if the first person to buy Cass a hot meal was Kate on one of her travels

What if Alfred witnessed young Selina shoplifting groceries but chose to turn a blind eye

What if Jason lived on the same streets as the Row siblings and gave little Harper tips on how to use tools and defend her brother

What if Steph and Duke shared the same school bus, only he sat in the front while she was toward the back

What if the first person to teach Tim how to tie his shoes was Bruce at a gala because Jack and Janet were busy talking to someone important

What if Bette did a DNA test for fun and found a connection in Nanda Parbat but just assumed the results was faulty because she knew her whole family, right?

What if 8-year-old Dick, the day before his parents died, stayed at a cheap hotel near Crime Alley and found 4-year-old Jason wandering alone and said, "I'll be your big brother for tonight"

What if the universe knew they were made for each other and wouldn't rest until they realized it too

[tims-missing-spleen]

I remember seeing someone say that Bruce wouldn't deny the Batman allegations. Like he will proudly tell everyone he is most definitely the Batman whenever he's asked, and it would actually do wonders with keeping the secret hidden.

Like it would be more suspicious than anything if billionaire playboy Brucie Wayne so adamantly denied any connection to the vigilante.

And yeah, so i was thinking what would his kids think about it? like they get asked during interviews and whatnot what they think about their dad being Batman.

I feel like Dick would just play along and say some shit like "if B is Batman, then I'm Nightwing" and get a look from the man

And Jason would take any opportunity to shit on B and say something along the lines of "B's Batman? I call bullshit. He's not even a man"

Tim would either:

a. pull up a 99 slided presentation about how Bruce Wayne is, in fact, NOT Batman and be internally laughing the whole time cause he is funny, and people just dont know what they're talking about.

Or b. (only when he's been up for a few days) confirm it and go "Well yes, of course he is. It'd be weird if he wasn't since the cave's under the house."

Cassandra would just smile and stare into the person's soul until they move on onto the next question.

Steph would deny it and claim that she's Batman and that Bruce is her Robin. She'd probably also manage to convince a few people to join her.

Duke would be like "He's Batman? Ohhh that explains the explosives I found in the cellar!" or something else, just as worrying.

Damian would just nod and go into a full length speech about how Batman is the best superhero (after Nightwing of course) and completely disregard the question. And before anyone can re-ask, he'd just walk off.

[zylev-blog]

The batkids decide to hop on the trend.

Dick, walking as Steph records: We’re vigilantes. Of course we have to be over dramatic.

(Cut to Nightwing back flipping off of Wayne tower)

Tim: were vigilantes. Of course we have issues with caffeine.

(Cut to a video of Tim as Red Robin snoring while hanging from a grappling line. Batman can be seen in the background facepalming.)

———

Damian: No.

Tim: oh come on, Robin, we’re all doing it.

Damian: I refuse to partake in such idiotic videos.

Tim: (while Damian is still behind him) We’re vigilantes. Of course we get to punch people without getting in trouble.

Damian: actually—-

Tim: Robin, you’re supposed to play along—

Damian: I am not going to spread false information—

Steph, interrupting: well, I’m not one of Batman’s sons so he legally can’t yell at me.

Tim: wanna bet?

(Cut to Batman scolding all three of them about the improper use of force)

—-

Duke: we’re vigilantes. Of course we go to Batburger.

(Cut to Duke happily eating a Batburger meal, and playing with a Signal toy)

Duke: what? I’m allowed to have hobbies.

——

Steph: we’re vigilantes. Of course we can scare anyone we want to. Right, Black Bat?

Cass: (nod)

(The next series of videos is a compilation. The first is Superman being scared, followed by Green Lantern, Flash, Cyborg, Starfire, Dick, Tim, and a failed attempt to startle Wonder Woman. Cass isn’t even upset about not being able to scare the woman, she accepts the defeat with grace.)

——-

Dick, Tim, and Steph: we’re vigilantes.

Dick: I’ve gotten stranded on the moon. Don’t ask.

Tim: I got lost in hell.

Steph: I accidentally followed Green Lantern into space.

Tim: what? When?

Steph: turns out if you hug a Green Lantern really tightly, their life support on their ring will support you too

Dick: yknow, Batman shouldn’t find out about this-

(Cut to Batman’s lecture about the proper use of protective gear when going to space)

——

Dick: we’re vigilantes. Of course we’re best friends with all of the villains.

(Cut to Red Hood kicking down a door)

Jason: hey (bleep), you’re late to dinner

Dick: (currently tied to a chair and gagged)

Jason: hang on, I’ll help. (Shoots everyone and unties dick) Harley said she’s going to rampage if you’re not there in five minutes.

Dick: Blame these guys, not me! (Jumps through the nearest window, shattering it, and the sound of a grapple is heard)

——

Jason: I’m a crime lord

Dick: and I’m a vigilante

Jason: and you’re ruining my video, (bleep) off. (Shoves Dick out of the frame, ignoring Dick’s muttered cursing) now that we got the riffraff out, let me start over. (Brushes imaginary dirt from hands) I’m a crime lord. Of course Batman fights me every other day. I look forward to the day I can break his kneecaps.

Dick: (shocked) Hood!

Jason: what?

Dick: he’s your dad too!

Jason: yuck, don’t remind me.

——-

Duke: we’re vigilantes. Of course we know all of the gossip. (Very obviously looking around) like for example, Superman has the biggest crush on Bruce Wayne—

Clark, who was obviously eavesdropping: Nonononononono—- (trying to turn the camera off as he darts into the frame. There’s a flash of red, blue and yellow as Duke and Clark fight over the camera)

——

Tim: we’re vigilantes. Of course we visit other cities.

Wally, as Kid Flash: What the (bleep) are you doing in Central City?

Tim: I’m honestly not sure, it’s so bright that I think I’m blind.

[batbusiness-schooldropout]

Steph: Come on Dami, tell us who's your favorite sibling

Tim: Me. Obviously

Damian: Do you have a concussion right now, or has your caffeine habit finally caused brain damage?

Duke: Yeah unless you all were pulling my leg, Damian tried, and nearly succeeded, to kill you multiple times

Tim: Let me explain-

Damian: This ought to be good

Tim: When I started being Robin, Dick barely talked to me and now he calls me multiple times a week and we go train surfing once a month

Dick: Sorry about that. I was kinda going through....a lot

Tim: No problem. Then Jason damn near killed me and he says I'm his favorite brother. We play Smash Brothers and talk shit about you guys all the time

Steph: It's true, I've been over there a few times. There's also cake and plotting against our enemies

Tim: So I fully expect that Damian either will, or currently does, like me the best. After the second murder attempt I knew I was going to be his best man if he gets married

Damian: Oh No

Dick: What?

Damian: I just thought about it and if I had to pick a best man, it'd be a tie between you and Drake!

Tim: Just accept it. The more you try to hate me, the more you'll love me

[alyakthedorklord]

Bat Poker Face Training

Dick, Steph, Cass, Tim, and Jason all crammed into someones room, with a kidnapped Duke sitting awkwardly with them, kinda scared.

Duke: “Uh… what’s going on?”

Steph, completely blank faced and standing ominously in the corner: “It has come to our attention that you require training.”

Duke: “Bruce is already teaching me really well-“

Jason, also blank faced: “That’s bat training. This is robin training.”

Cass, carefully but without a single emotion: “Sibling training.”

Dick, face just as blank as all his other siblings: “It’s much more fun.”

Duke, freaked out by the empty faces: “Am I being hazed?”

Jason: “Eh, maybe. Scared?

Tim, not giving Duke a second to reply: “Yes, he is. It’s written all over his face. And while its okay to be scared, sometimes hiding your true emotions in the field is a matter of life, death, and secret identities.”

Dick: “You’re going to be flustered. Humiliated. Terrified. Angry. Relieved. Your vigilante ID dragged through the mud in front of you as a civilian. Someone worried about your civilian ID and you need to keep them away.“

Tim: “Not just as a Bat, but a Wayne. Some dinosaur at a gala is going to say the most out of pocket thing you’ve ever heard in your life and you’ve just got to stand there.”

Duke: “So that’s the reason you’re doing the creepy thing?”

Steph: “Yes Duke. You need to have a poker face that Even Superman can’t break. That even a Fifth-dimensional Imp can’t crack! And that is the purpose of our training tonight!”

Duke, getting the program now: “Okay. I’m ready.”

Jason, allowing a creepy grin to slide over his face: “Don’t be so sure. Because what we are about to show you… it has broken Batman.”

Dick: “Damian is too innocent to see it, which is why he isn’t here.”

Steph: “If you can handle this, you can handle anything.”

Tim, tapping on his computer, chanting under his breath: “the horrors, the horrors, the horrors…”

Duke, terrified of what Tim is about to pull up, on the edge of his seat wondering what on earth can shake the Bat of Gotham, what the family considers too awful for thier arguably LEAST innocent member to see, what vile images he’s about to be shown…

Tap. The screen lights up white.

Duke: “No.”

Jason, grin widening: “We’ll be reading this aloud, for your entertainment.”

Duke, trembling and inching towards the door: “No.”

Steph, vice grip on Duke’s arm: “There’s no escaping it, Signal. This is your mission- to stay completely pokerfaced through Real Person Fanfiction of us- the Batfamily. And co, of course.”

Duke, sobbing: “Please, why… why would you do this to yourselves… oh god, is that… is that… is that Kate with Bruce? She’s a lesbian! And his cousin!”

Steph: “They don’t know that, Duke. They know nothing. And the depths of a human imagination is comparable to the depths of the ocean… there’s some weird shit down there.”

Tim, without a single emotion on his face, least of all mercy: “I had to sit through Young Justice fawning over Dick and Bruce. Do you know what they said? About my own father figure? Right in front of my salad? I was lucky I was wearing a mask. I cried, and I cried in silence. They knew NOTHING, because I showed nothing. This is what you must achieve.”

Jason: “I’ve had to listen to criminals talk about what they’d do to the ‘Prince of Gotham’ and not twitch. I’ve had to listen to both goons and civilians play fuck marry kill with our vigilante identities and not move a muscle. I know this feels like overkill, but trust me, it’s not.”

Dick: “Don’t worry, we’ll keep it mostly PG. Tim? Begin with the wildly out of character and aggressively heteronormative Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman love triangle. Then maybe we’ll work our way up to slash readers and…” shudders in horror, “…batcest.”

Duke: “NOOOOOOOO!!!”

[spidernuggets]

Reader being Jason's girlfriend, who doesn't know about their double life, casually blurting out that she was never a fan of Batman and Robin or that she prefers Superman and the whole family is offended. 😭

love your writing, btw<3

-🪩

Jason Todd x Fem!Reader

"No, no, you're right, babe. Superman tops Batman for sure."

"Ah, Ms. Y/n, pleasure to see you," Alfred opens the door to see you patiently waiting with a smile.

"Hey, Alfie! Is Jay home? He asked me to hang out with him today."

"He's in the living room with the rest of the family. Come in, come in," he steos to the side, giving you to room to enter.

"Oh, yeah!" You exclaimed, reaching into your bag. "I did that cookie recipe you gave me! They're not as good as yours, but they're sure better than the cookies I've made before. D'you mind taste testing for me?" You ask, handing over a tupperware full of cookies.

"I thank you for the charming remark, Ms. Y/n. I'm sure your cookies are as excellent." He says, taking a bite from a cookie.

"Nah, now you're just being too modest, Alfie," you laugh as he does too.

"Well, this is a marvellous improvement, Ms. Y/n," Alfred says, happily taking another one. "Come on now, let's go join the others."

The two of you walk towards the living room and see everyone there.

"Y/n!!" Stephanie shouts, running over to you, embracing you in a tight hug. "Ugh, it felt like forever since I've seen you! How are you 'nd Jason? Is he being an asshole like always?" She snickers.

You laugh, and before you can reply, Jason is already pushing Stephanie out of the way.

"Don't answer that, N/n. Steph, go away," he grumbles, soon putting on a smile once he stands right in front of you. "Hey, mama," he muttered, pulling you in by the waist, placing a kiss on your forhead.

You giggled at the contact. "Hey, Jay," you kissed his chin. "Hi, Bruce!" You look over Jason's shoulder, wavung to Bruce, who was sat on the armchair, looking through the newspaper.

"Y/n, always a pleasure," he says before going back to reading.

Jason takes your hand and guides you to the couch, making you sit on his lap. "Sorry I couldn't go out for our date today, sugar. Someone wouldn't let me leave," he emphasised, glaring at Bruce.

"It's scarce that everyone is here at once, Master Jason. It's a good opportunity for bonding." Alfred says behind him.

You kiss his cheek, which makes his heart race. "It's okay, Jay. It's nice hangin' out with you and your family."

"Yeah, kick his ass!" Steph shouts at the TV.

Last night's news was playing, showing footage of Batman and Robin, and their alliances, taking out some of Gotham's frequent villains and criminals.

"Do you guys always watch the news?" You asked, curious that they aren't watching something more entertaining.

You didn't notice it, but the whole family seemed to hesitate by your question.

"The news is a suitable way of keeping us informed of Gotham's latest activities. Just in case there are needs of safety plans for us," Damian says, sitting on the chair beside you, petting Titus.

"Plus, it's good to see Batman and Robin in action. Just in case there's anything they need to improve on." Bruce mutters that last statement, sending a sharo glare towards Damian, who, last night, didn't follow direct orders and backfired a section of the mission.

Damian ignored this statement and kept focusing on Titus.

You rested your head on Jason's shoulder. "Mm. I was never really a fan of Batman and Robin."

The whole room freezes, leaving the news to continue playing, and all heads turn towards you. The sudden attention had you tensed up.

"What?" You quietly ask.

"Batman and Robin are always keeping the streets clear of crime. How can you not like them?" Damian asks with a scowl on his face.

"I don't don't like them. They just don't pique my interest." You shrugged.

"Well what about their alliances," Tim asked. "Red Robin? Spoiler? Orphan? Red Hood?"

The questioning about Red Hood had Jason's full attention on you now.

"I dunno, I guess I prefer Red Hood. He's pretty cool," your unsure opinion had Jason mentally punching the air in victory.

"But.. to be honest, I kinda like Superman over all the superheroes," you smiled.

It was the calm before the storm. You didn't think a little opinion could've caused such a ruckus.

Even Bruce looked away from the newspaper annoyed.

"Why Superman? He's only so great because he has superpowers. Batman has no superpowers and can still put so many behind bars!" Bruce exclaimed.

Subtle. Jason thought.

"I'm sorry! I didn't know that you guys like these superheroes so much!" You said, almost scared that you somehow offended the family.

Jason then kisses your temple. "No, no, you're right, babe. Superman tops Batman for sure," Jason says, narrowing his eyes and sending a snarky grin towards Bruce, which, in response, he rolls his eyes and backs away from the conversation, going back to his newspaper.

"Did I say something wrong?" You quietly ask Jason as the other begin yelling at each other about which Batman ally is better.

Jason smiles, caressing your soft face with his rougher, calloused thumb. "Nah, don't worry, sweet thing. They're just mega Batman fans."

"What about you? Who's your fave?" You ask.

"Red Hood, hands down." He immediately replies.

You nod, thinking for a moment. "Okay. I wanna see more of Red Hood then. He'll be my favourite too." You say.

Jason thinks his heart just exploded. He shifts his right arms under your legs, his other supporting your back as he lifts you up, followed by a yelp coming from you.

"Get ready, babe. You're about to absolutely love Red Hood," he says, carrying you to his room, ready to go on a 5 hour lecture about Red Hood and why he's Gotham's greatest hero.

[areyoufeelingwhelmedyet]

If I see another “Batman thinks he saved his kids, but really he destroyed them” or any iteration of him purposefully making the robins and co child soldiers I’m going to lose my mind.

LISTEN TO ME AND LISTEN CAREFULLY: these fucking kids would have found a way, one way or another to cause havoc on the criminals of Gotham with or without the care and training of Batman.

Remember, these kids could have stopped at any point, all they had to do was say so but no. After every traumatic event, after every fight with Bruce, after every death/almost death…they still put on their cowls and fought crime.

Let’s not forget the roots of these characters:

Dick: wanted to kill Tony Zucco

Barbara: Wanted to save Gotham like her father, ended up saving Bruce Wayne, then continued to play hero in spite of Batman telling her not to

Jason: ballsy street kid

Tim: stalked and negotiated his way into being Robin

Steph: went out on her own to stop her criminal father, legit ‘spoil’ his plans

Cassandra: born and raised weapon

Damian: born and raised weapon, thought being Robin was his born given right

Duke: willingly joined the ‘We Are Robin’ movement to fight for Gotham

What are you guys not getting? This information of how each kid becomes a vigilante is free…you don’t even have to read a comic, just look it up on wikis.

That is all, good day

[ryoalouette]

Machi's #15 DPxDC Idea

Bruce couldn't understand what was happening, or why, or how, or why, or when, or well, anything at all. One day he found two civilians, two teens goofing around the cave like two newlyweds. When Batman, with capital B; tried to interrogate them he only got mockery.

"What's with the long face?" They said before disappearing through one of the smaller caves. For a moment Bruce thought he had hallucinated the Asian boy and the Hispanic girl. Only to find the same Hispanic girl with a blond boy making out on Red Robin's bike. Plus another couple with them! And all of them were holding hands!

Then, a few days later, while he was investigating the lower levels of the batcave he found a black boy with a red beanie flirting with Jason, and Jason was flirting back? Batman had to pull everybody out of the caves and call for an emergency meeting. Only to find a boy with black hair passed out at the meeting table, using Batman's reports as cushions. Sitting next to him was a girl with also dark hair drinking with a straw from a coconut.

"Poor Danny," she said. "After all these years he still can't deal with alcohol." And then she promptly started to offer coconut milk to everyone.

He snapped at her but she only raised an eyebrow and left carrying the boy, Danny, on her back. And then the music started. Day and Night it would start playing at the most random moments. Samba, Rumba, Fados, Boleros, K-pop, anything went in, they even accepted petitions if the kids yelled loud enough. Steph had gotten in the habit of asking for Kill Bill's OST and Dick constantly asked for Taylor Swift. They even answered when Damian complained about their choices and asked for Chopin's nocturne. And then the batcave started to grow flowers! And trees? And the fruit was edible? What the heck?

"Sounds to me like you have a nymph infestation," said Wonder Woman after hearing his rant report. Batman stared at her like she had grown another head.

"I mean, flower powers, free love, did they have pointed ears?" Batman nood. "Yup, definitely a nymph infestation." Batman kept staring at her. Don't look at me like that, they are very common where I come from. The only solution is to wait until they get bored and move on. If you try to get rid of them violently not only you will fail. But also will risk the wrath of the gods." Batman kept staring. Wonder woman sighed. "I will call Pan to see if he is missing any nymphs and wants them back".

[brucewaynehater101]

Imagine Tim holding Brucequest over the Justice League & even Dick & Jason's heads 💀💀💀💀

Heck Tim holding the Timestream incident over Bruce's head because Tim was the only person to actually do anything to save him

((Damian gets a pass because 1. He's a KID whose cult leading gramps was involved, how about No?))

((And 2. The priority for him at the time should have been unlearning the cult teachings of the LOA))

((and also all his other siblings. Alfred too since he has a job dammit))

Tw: Violence

I love petty Tim Drake so much. He deserves to be able to hold his trauma over the people who caused it.

Jason takes the last cookie? "You might as well take me back to Titan's Tower and slit my throat again."

Dick tells Tim he needs to go to bed? "Oh. I see how it is. I thought we talked about you questioning my judgements again, but I see I was wrong."

Alfred lectures Tim about his health? "Now you're concerned about my health? You should have thought about that before putting my mental health in peril for my sixteenth birthday."

Bruce is concerned with Tim's workload? "Maybe the next time you want me to take on less work you'll write a fucking letter instead of spreading vague clues no one else believes is actually from you."

As for Damian? They exchange verbal barbs for fun and take notes from each other. It confuses the hell out of the others because do they hate each other, or are they bonding?

Steph and Tim like to get into screaming fights with each other in public. It's never about their actual fights, but they like how Gotham reacts to it (bonus points if they end up in the news).

Tim and Babs try to sabotage each other's unimportant technology. That fifth tablet Babs hardly uses? Bam! Tim's made it so it plays music whenever it's on and the music can't be turned off.

Cass and Tim just make faces at each other. Bruce has been confused as hell when one of them randomly shouts in outrage due to the other twitching their eyelids wrong.

Tim likes confusing and horrifying Duke by telling him fun facts about the family. He'll tell them in the most damning way to watch the chaos. "The scar on Jason's neck is from Bruce choosing the Joker over Jason."

And that is Tim taking it easy on the Bats because he loves and cares about them (and because it's funny).

The JL?

Red Robin terrifies all of the members who doubted him. The terror doubles when they see him happily chatting with YJ or the Bats. The version of Tim the JL gets is a scarily competent and cold persona. They thought he lost the ability to smile until Red Hood (and who let a crime lord into the Watchtower???) grabbed Red Robin a peace offering Zesti.

[sassydefendorflower]

In case of their death, each Bat has a dedicated spot where they keep their will/private messages to different members of their family/their friends.

It makes sense in their line of work.

Tim's is a hard drive, no surprise there, but he made sure the code to access it was just stupid enough that most of the family would have to come together to crack it (and even then, they still have to call Bart for the final clue) - it’s something stupid and sentimental, something Bruce would never have guessed Tim would choose as a password. Maybe Quadruple Summersault. Or Short Pants. Or Second Mask. Or Always Be Prepared. Or maybe just I Love You.

Babs has a lot of video messages just in case. She wrote code that would automatically send her last words to everyone she cherished (her dad, the Bats, the Birds of Prey, her co-workers at the library) should she forget to enter the I'm Still Alive Code. (she has to stay at the hospital once without her phone and accidentally sends her last words to everyone - Gotham is chaos for a day until people manage to check in on her).

Cass has already hidden all her goodbyes in the rooms of those she thinks deserve it. Once she is gone, she hopes Bruce will find the letter in her nightstand. The one that says "my words are still here, you just have to look for it" - which is a bit ironic, considering most of her letters consist of funny cartoons and nice memories captured in the chicken scratch of someone who might never be a portrait artist but can undoubtedly catch a moment in time with just a few strokes of a pencil.

Dick updates his will every couple of months, just to be safe. And his letters? His final words? Those are usually stored with a civilian friend or two. One batch is definitely kept at Titans Tower. All of these people have instructions to send them once the news of his death has hit the public. His letters are unusually long, filled with jokes and anecdotes, and a lot of things he never quite managed to say before. For someone who likes to talk, Dick is awfully good at saying nothing. But that's not how he wants to die - at least not this time, so long letters it is.

Jason doesn't have a lot of letters, or a lot of anything really. He just has a very detailed will. A binding legal paper that explains exactly what the family is supposed to do with his body. He's not gonna take any more chances with this. At the end of his will, there is only one addendum: I love you. Please let me be dead. Nothing more - nothing less.

Steph is a bit obsessed with the details of her death, maybe because her first close encounter resulted in a complete loss of agency. She wants to plan it down to the smallest bit, and since she knows she cant do that, she plans everything else. Where she wants to be buried, what songs should be played, what kind of food should be offered... and in each of these instructions there is a personal message hidden just within. She wants Bruce and Tim to carry her coffin, carry her one last time. She wants Cass to dance at her funeral, and Babs and her mom to write the speeches. Small love letters hidden in a search for control.

Damian is needlessly good at compartmentalizing, or maybe its because he's just twelve. He should think of himself as immortal, and nothing is crueler than the fact that he doesn't. He has a will, hidden underneath his mattress because he's too young to actually request legally binding documents. And he has letters and paintings and notebooks - in the hopes that when they find them they'll remember him as a boy and not a weapon. For someone so desperately striving for the title of Robin, Damian mostly wants to be remembered as a son.

For a long time Duke didn't partake in this "family tradition". Because he saw himself as outside of them, as someone with parents, as someone with a home. But a dozen close calls, and suddenly mortality becomes something else. So he saves his will on the Batcomputer, addressed to his parents but protected by Bruce. And he writes small notes. Thoughts. Ideas. Things he thinks they will appreciate should he be gone one day. And he leaves them lying around. Maybe the mark he makes is hidden in the small things. The post-it notes and exploded overhead lights. Duke would be fine with that.

And then there is Bruce, who - in a way - cannot die. His legacy is the Cave, his brain a part of the mainframe they use to fight crime. And he knows that. He knows that no matter where he goes, he will never be really gone. So he makes sure that one day - long after he has passed - the Batcomputer destroys itself. To set them free. To leave them with the physical memorabilia of Bruce Wayne, and no longer with the desperation of the Bat. It's the biggest love letter Bruce can imagine writing - the possibility of being free.

[mysterycitrus]

How old do think each Batfam member is

( post crisis obviously)

wrt headcanoning ages i play it super fast and super loose with nothing but vibes so no essays in the replies plz. this is just the timeline that exists in my brain when im writing fic. with that in mind:

bruce (43)

babs (32)

dick (27)

cass (23)

jason (23)

steph (22)

tim (21)

duke (17)

damian (13)

like in an ideal world post-crisis canon would’ve progressed a few years — tim is now in his 20s (lol), damian is a teenager, and duke is an established character. i really like the hc that tim was dukes robin, so their ages reflect that. tim was emancipated at seventeen, when he stopped being robin. both steph and cass are older than tim. babs is at least five years older than dick because the retcon that they’re the same age makes my teeth itch. none of this “first true love” shit. they were friends as children and didn’t become romantically involved until their twenties. stop delegitimising all of babs and dicks other relationships!!!

idk how well it works time wise but i honestly don’t care too much about specifics? a pugnacious two year old timmy’s brain being permanently altered by the death of the graysons makes narrative sense to me. dick is fired as robin at seventeen (not a legal adult), which adds additional complexity to the situation with bruce. bruce is in his mid forties. that man has chronic back problems he is naht thirty six.

[incorrectbatfam]

What is bring your dad to school day like? Bonus of Bruce bringing Alfred?

[at recess]

8-year-old Dick: Let's play pretend! You be Batman and I'll be Robin.

Bruce: ...

———————

Kid: *tries to stab another kid with a pencil*

Bruce: Hey, stop that!

12-year-old Jason: Yeah, you're doing it all wrong. You gotta aim for a soft spot then twist it in.

———————

Teacher: And here is our AP economics classroom.

14-year-old Tim, on his Game Boy: Money is fake.

Teacher: What?

Bruce: What?

Tim, still on his Game Boy: Money is fake. Nothing matters. We're all gonna die.

———————

Mean girl: Where's your dad, Steph? Lemme guess, he didn't make it.

Bruce, looming over: I have been summoned.

———————

Cass: *finishes her dance routine*

Bruce, in a custom T-shirt with airhorns and confetti: THAT'S MY GIRL!

———————

Jon: And here are the family portraits we did last week! See? There's us three, Grandma and Grandpa, Kara, Kon, and Krypto on the farm.

Lois: It's amazing, sweetie.

Clark: *takes a picture*

Bruce: What about yours, Damian?

Damian: It was a tight squeeze, but I managed to fit our entire family.

Bruce: These are just the pets.

Damian: The shining jewels of the Wayne household, I'm sure you'll agree.

———————

Margie: Oh, bless your heart, Duke. I'm sure that volcano took all of this morning. It'd be a shame if it didn't erupt.

Margie: *walks away*

Bruce: Duke, guard this volcano with your life. I'll be right back.

[later]

Duke: You were gone a long time, where did you—

Margie: *screeches*

Margie: SOMEONE ATE MY BABY'S POTATO CLOCK!

———————

Alfred: Master Bruce, please finish your lunch.

15-year-old Bruce: The only thing that needs to be finished is the dark cloud of injustice plaguing the city.

Alfred: And your carrot sticks.

Bruce, grumbling: And my carrot sticks.