#incorrect batgirls quote

[jakascoo]

Steph: My assistance will be an act of beneviolence. Cass: ... Cass: Don’t you mean benevolence? Steph: No.

[incorrectbatfam]

Bruce: *sees Gotham in chaos on his day off*

Bruce: Not my circus, not my monkeys. Not my circus, not my monkeys. Not my—

Bruce: *realizes it's his kids causing chaos*

Bruce: My circus my monkeys! My circus my monkeys!

[lustwithoutlore]

Stephanie, clearly upset: I just spent $30 at the grocery store and all I got was eggs, mayonnaise, fruit, and pop.

Tim: Oh so prices have gone down, that’s good.

Stephanie: …. I really hate you sometimes, Tim. Really hate you.

Tim: Isn’t $30 for all that cheap?

Stephanie, calling Jason: I need an immediate extraction I’m about to kill Tim.

Jason: … And you need the extraction, why?

[vodrae]

Jason: Man I was born in the wrong era

Barbara: Oh ? Where would you go ? Roman Empire ? Golden Age of pirates ?

Jason: Far West, when you'd be a hero by shooting bad guys.

Barbara: Jason !

Steph: Y'know, you ain't a tree. You can move. Kidnap rogues and kill them in countries without proper justice system.

Barbara: Stephanie !

Tim: Or you just could go to the no man's land in Yellowstone park or the four corners.

Barbara: Timothy !

Dick: Quite frankly if you drop Joker's body in Bludhaven we won't waste time on it.

Barbara: Richard !

Damian: There would be an investigation only if there is a body.

Barbara: Damian !

Cassandra: Cassandra !

[unfashionably-late-comics]

Jason being a nuisance is more powerful than his guns

Quote idea from @incorrectbatfam

[vigilvntes]

dick, giving the family a pep talk: everything you lose is a step you take

the family, nodding in agreement:

jason:

jason: hang on. wait a sec. did you just... quote taylor swift?

dick: ......what? no. no.

jason: no. no, you definitely did. that's taylor swift.

dick: it's not–... i didn't–

barbara: how do you know enough taylor swift to be able to quote her in your speeches?

dick, panicking: *points at jason* well how does he know enough taylor swift to be able to notice that i'm quoting taylor swift?

jason, on his way out: my lawyers will be in contact

tim, quietly: he doesn't even have a lawyer

[gothamundernightlight]

Incorrect Batfam Quotes

Tim: *develops a plan

Steph: Not gonna lie, that sounds like a war crime.

Tim: It’s never a war crime the first time. Now whether it gets designated a war crime after…

Tim: That’s not my problem.

[leoleolovesdc]

Bruce: *high on pain meds* You kids are the best thing that's ever happened to me

Steph: Your life must reaaaaally suck then

Duke: As if that wasn't a given

[batfamgalore]

*Dick just learned that he might have been destined to be a Talon and Bruce has known for a long time but was keeping it a secret*

Dick: Okay I have to go talk to Bruce.

*runs out*

Tim: But wait a minute, Dickie.

Damian: Richard!

Steph: Dick!

*All sit back concerned*

Duke: Whoa.

Cass: Wow.

Jason: So, anyway, I’m trying to get my boss’s ex wife to sleep with me-

Everyone: Jason!

Jason: Oh, but when Dick has a problem, everyone’s all ears!

[drpoisonoaky]

Steph: ARE YOU-

Dick: Fucking.

Steph: KIDDING ME?! YOU-

Dick: Fucking.

Steph: IDIOT!

Tim: …What was that?

Dick: Babs banned Steph from swearing, so I’m helping her out.

[kimjun]

YN: *struggling to open a jar*

Jason: *watches from afar, but says nothing*

YN: Would you open for fucks-

YN: *gives up and walks over to Jason, silently holding the jar out to him*

Jason: *opens the jar with no trouble*

YN: …

Jason: …

YN: I loosened it

Jason: Of course

YN: You wouldn’t have been able to open it without my help

Jason: Didn’t think otherwise

YN: That’s what I thought…

[jakascoo]

Steph: [Is visibly upset.] Babs: Steph, what happened? I haven't seen you like this since you found out Candyland wasn't an actual country.

[incorrectbatfam]

[at a restaurant]

Stephanie, the waitress: Police and kids five and under eat for free.

Dick: *subtly nudges Damian*

Damian: I'm a cop.

[greenapplebling]

Jason, doing a presentation: You heard about daddy issues and mommy issues, now I present to you *shows a picture of Dick* big sister issues

Dick: What-

Tim: Say no more, I'm convinced

Steph: *nods*

[vodrae]

Barbara Gordon: Cobblepot is trying to hide his money in the blockchain. Unfortunatly to him, Satoshi left some backdoors to use.

Tim: Yeah back in 2009 I didn't know how to code encryption of this level.

Babs: Of course in 2009 you were- DID YOU JUST SAY YOU CREATED BITCOIN ??

Tim: I was bored at home.

Babs: Are you aware some countries want your head ???

Tim: Tell them to wait in line.

[iwannabealice]

damian: *posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*

tim: if i had a dollar for every pixel in this image, i’d have 15 cents

damian: if i had a dollar for every ounce of rage i felt in my body after i read this text, i would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you

barbara: actually i did the math, tim would have $225, not $0.15

tim: fam i’m right here....

duke: if i had a dollar i would buy a can of soda :)

steph: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?

duke: sorry i only have a dollar

steph: :(

barbara: hey i just realized my friend is right, tim would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent

duke: if i had $22,500 i would buy a can of soda and an apply juice

barbara: you can buy anything you want with $22,500

damian: yeah and they wants soda and apply juice

barbara: apply juice to what

jason: directly to the forehead

tim: great chat everyone