#let tim talk shit to rich people

[excarow]

Honestly I've read like 3 fics with the premise of Tim becoming Damian's favourite brother after he sees how Tim is able to manipulate the upper class or how Tim can say 'fuck you' to rich business men and get away with it and holy fuck that trope has me in a death grip

[deadsetobsessions]

Okay, so maybe Tim has no business being in Bludhaven. Tim maintains that since his parents fail at parenting, he can do whatever he wants.

Besides, it's for a good cause. Like, not letting Tarantula get her dirty hands on his big brother in another time line. Tarantula had popped up in the Bludhaven servers - by that, Tim means the endless amounts of threads and underground fronts for criminal activity that he stalks on a regular basis- by being seen with Nightwing. Tim had immediately booked a ride to Bludhaven and bought another burner. He'd try to take care of her himself, but if worse comes to worse, he'd call Deathstroke. He's totally aware of the weird tension Deathstroke has with Nightwing and Tim's kind of banking on that.

Dick's been back in Blud for two months now, Jason having assuaged his mother hen tendencies enough for Dick to get sick of the Manor. Tim hadn't meant to follow since he had plenty of projects to work on now that "SAVE JASON" wasn't blaring at the top of his head.

But then Tarantula appeared and Tim saw red, remembering the way Dick spoke about her and what she did to him.

He bids the driver goodbye. The driver doesn't question his being on his lonesome mainly because 1) Gothamites mind their own busines, 2) Tim gave him a $500 tip to make sure he remains a "good" Gothamite cabbie, and 3) Tim made sure he was dropped off in the swankiest, most ostentatious hotel Bludhaven had to offer.

"Rich people," the cab driver had muttered as Tim closed the door. Perfect.

Tim got his keycard, having checked in under Alvin Draper over the phone. Normally, they'd require an in person visit, but money talks. And people listened when Tim had a lot of things to say.

Tim even feels like he's trained enough to go out! Lady Shiva's training was ingrained into his memory, and Tim's built enough muscle to make use of some of it. He is still nine, after all. He's so much stealthier this time around. Plus, he's got almost his full tool set back. Sure, some of the tech is ancient, but he managed to finagle it to make grappling guns and smoke pellets more along the quality that he's used to.

Tim waits until nightfall, looping the surveillance around his window to mask his exit. Tim adjusts his domino, eyes scanning the city skyline as his handheld computer (god, he can't believe he has to invent wrist computers) tracked reports of Nightwing through Tweetings.

Ah. He's around Seventh. Tim grimaces as his untested joints adjusts to the grappling guns. His dark clothes make him hard to spot, to his advantage as he tracks down Nightwing.

Tim watches, perched on an adjacent roof as Nightwing takes down a crowd of goons with the flips Tim remembered watching from afar and up close in another timeline.

"Blockbuster'll kill everyone you love, Nightwing!"

Tim winces at the rather brutal crunch that followed, Nightwing having punched the guy and knocked him out in one move. He watches Dick sigh, tugging at his hair in stress.

Tim could... no, no. He shouldn't think of murder as a first option. Well, no, he shouldn't think of Deathstroke as a first option. But he'll need to take Blockbuster out before anything happens. And he needs to threaten the new Tarantula before anything happens. He won't allow her to even get close to Dick.

Maybe it's unfair to punish her for a crime she hasn't done, but unlike murder, rape can never be defended. Catalina Flores is a dead woman walking.

Tim stalks his big brother back home and then broke off to begin his short reign of terror over Bludhaven's underground. If he can't get Dick to take a break (and Tim's tried, a lot, over the years) then he'll make sure that the next month is as gentle as possible on his older brother.

Step 1. Murder Take care of Blockbuster

Step 2. Threaten Catalina Flores and her brother.

No. Wait. Tim has a better idea. He's got dirt on them, on top of the murder thing. He'll fabricate Catalina's tax returns, embezzle a shit ton of money from the IRS, and get her and her corrupt brother (because getting your sister out from murder charges is considered corrupt) arrested and locked away. And he'll make sure they stay locked away with some good old blackmail on Amanda Waller.

Tim grins, tranquilizing the building with an ungodly amount of knock out gas pellets, to riffle through the police precinct's files.

Step 2. Threaten Catalina Flores and her brother.

Step 2. Cripple Catalina Flores and her brother with blackmail and the IRS.

In three hours, Tim has everything he needs to begin a temporary hostile takeover. He's got the names of local mob bosses, the big players, and the names of practically every police officer that takes bribes and their... sponsors.

He'll have to cut off Blockbuster's lines of supplies first. Then, blacklist him from local suppliers, mobilize the police precinct against him (by imitating his M.O. perfectly- Tim's not a fucking amateur- and pretending to rob the precinct blind), and then break his knees.

Step 3. Profit

Tim takes out his shiny new burner phone, enjoying the loud sounds of the police squawking through his planted bugs. He lounges on the building next to it, keeping an eye out for Nightwing just in case the man decides to respond to the crisis.

[Unknown: It's RR.]

[Deathstroke: New phone?]

[RR: Who dis?]

[Deathstroke: What?]

[RR: Nevermind. I'll give you forty thousand to shoot someone's knees out.]

[Deathstroke:... That's it? Who?]

[RR: Blockbuster. Bludhaven. Extra twenty thousand if you tell him he's got the spine of a sea slug, kick him in the balls, and post it on Tweeting.]

[Deathstroke: What did he do to you? Deal.]

Tim ignored Deathstroke's question.

[RR: Half sent. Confirm?]

[Deathstroke: Confirmed. Timeline?]

[RR: Three weeks. 21 days.]

[Deathstroke: Confirmed.]

----

Tim grins ferally, all teeth as Catalina Flores looked on in horror at her computer screen.

"Get out of Bludhaven, and don't come back. If you even think of going near Nightwing, I will rip what's left of your pathetic, sniveling swine of a brother apart. You will not enjoy the consequences."

Tim clicks off, watching Catalina and her brother launch themselves into mad packing. He tapped out a short message to Amanda Waller for her and her team to intercept them at the state lines. They'll never get away from Tim's fury. Never.

[Waller: It's done.]

[Waller: I will find you.]

[RR: You can definitely try, Waller. Good doing business with you.]

Tim can see the blood vessel the woman popped after he sent that last message. He laughs.

He saves Deathstroke's video from Tweeting onto his actual, spoofed phone. He destroys the burner phone, less shiny now that he's dragged it through two and a half weeks of breaking heads and terrorizing the Bludhaven Underground. Nightwing hadn't even gotten a whiff of his activities, this Dick being far less experienced and known in this version of Blud.

One more week and Tim can continue his other projects.

----

Nightwing, going about his vigilante business: wow it sure is peaceful

Feral Tim Drake, Nightwing's scary dog privilege: try me, bitch

[i-cant-sing]

I can’t get this scenario out of my head with yan!batfamily in which Bruce worms his way into a depressed reader’s life by marrying their mother and slowly taking over the role of parenting reader while dealing with the depression.

No because Bruce would do that. In his head, its just another mission to "save Y/n" and sure, your mother isn't exactly his type, and your depression isn't exactly her fault- the poor woman just works day and night for you both to survive in this outrageous economy, she doesn't have had enough time to see you not doing so well mentally.

Bruce and his sons, by whatever sequence of events, are now infatuated with you. What started as concern for your well being has now turned into obsessive need to control your life to make it better. So, yeah... Bruce decides to marry your mom, who is more than happy to finally find a chivalrous, handsome man... who just happens to also be very rich.

Meanwhile, you hate him. It's stupid, but you hate how filthy rich he is and even though you know that he donates a lot to charities, you still hate him because Bruce thinks money can solve everything (and in your case, it almost can), but you can't help but feel insulted everytime he offers you a cheque, a wad of cash to pay off your bills and loans, or even a $20 bill to get yourself some snacks. It feels... abnormal. You're not a charity case.

Perhaps your socioeconomic status isn't the only reason you're depressed. Maybe it's just you missing your father (could be dead/murdered/suicide/just moved far far away).

The moment Bruce finds out that your dad is the reason why you're so depressed, oh it's "I WILL FATHER ANOTHER CHILD IN NEED OF PROFESSIONAL HELP" time. He's doubling down on his paternal instincts and he's just mentally smacking himself like "ofc you need a father figure in your life. Who better than me????"

And it just makes your skin crawl at how nonchalant Bruce is about all this- about incorporating himself into your and your mother's life. Treating you both, especially you like you're actually related. Like he's been around with you two his entire life. You lose your appetite when he stays for dinner, but you sit at the table for your mother. You try to make excuses when your mother tells you that you have to go with her at the Wayne Manor because "Bruce wants to spend a day with family". You can't help but look at your mother in wonder at how she is comfortable when you both pull up at the manor. You thought things would be easier if Bruce's sons were also uncomfortable or even hated you and your mother (or thought that your mom was a gold digger), but no, they're just as worse as Bruce. Dick being particularly the worst in the sense that he's more affectionate and his love language is physical touch, so you get squished to his chest everytime he sees you, with a small cry "my baby!" Sometimes, "sis" would be added.

You didn't like either nickname.

Then there's Jason, who is the most normal one of them all, perhaps because he isn't around much and when he is, he just makes small talk.

Tim doesn't talk much either, but he stares a lot. Somehow you feel like he knows something about you, at least more than he's letting on.

And lastly, there's Damian, that pompous little shit. You know he's being amicable for Bruce, but his eyes look at you like he's judging you- thinks you're beneath him. Which is true, in the sense of finance. Despite all of that, Damian still wants to show you off his interests/things around the manor. He's still being arrogant ofc, "Look at this oil painting- it's a Van Gogh original. Van Gogh is a famous painter- he's dead though. I'm sure you aren't familiar with his works. I can take you to the Gotham gallery to show you more paintings. Father owns it, so it can be just us two without other people bothering us." He's nice but also not nice. But at least he's not doing it intentionally.

Then there's Bruce. Who is always looking at you with a small smile, but his eyes are always analysing you, even when he's not looking at you directly, you know that he's watching your every move like a hawk. He tries spending time with you, often he succeeds, only because your mother makes you go. He's a good man, hasn't done anything exactly inappropriate, but... even something as small as making you walk on the inner side of the sidewalk so that you're safe from the cars... it doesn't sit right with you. Why is he being so paternal? You certainly have been rude to him on purpose. Always giving him one word answers when he asks you how your day was.

Then one day your mother returns home with a beaming smile.

"Bruce proposed to me! We're getting married!"

After only 3 months of dating? It's what you wanted to say, but you held it back when you saw how happy she was.

The next day, Bruce held a dinner at the manor to celebrate the engagement. Surprisingly, that was the first time you saw Damian looking mad at you and your mom.

It was a reasonable reaction. Acceptable to you, instead of the overly excited yell of Dick "WE'RE GOING TO BE SIBLINGS! That means we can have slumber parties and pillow fights and-"

Your mother and Bruce were shopping for the wedding, looking at dresses and venues and all the shenanigans while you were at the manor, moving your and your mom's stuff in with the boys. It was the last thing you wanted, but your mother.... she insisted on it. Or at least that's what she says, you know Bruce insisted.

Doesn't matter because by next year, you'd be moving away to college anyways.

You just need to put up with this for a little longer and see your mother finally be happy.

You didn't expect your mother to be dead a week before the wedding.

It was out of the blue. You were sitting in the library at the manor because Dick refused to let you be alone in your room all the time, so he was making you some cookies while you read. Then he and Bruce came together, their faces pale as they looked at you.

"Y/n... your mother, she... she got in an accident."

She was driving to some restaurant, wanted to get you your favourite fried chicken and spend some time with you alone. But on her way, a truck crashed right into her car.

She died on the spot.

Whatever little improvement you had on your mental health went straight down the drain. You locked yourself in your room and just cried quietly. They left you alone the first few days, but then Bruce and Dick tried to persuade you to come out, that they were concerned for you. You did come out the day the funeral was held. And it hurt you... it hurt you so deeply when you found out they were burying her at the Wayne cemetery.

She wasn't a fucking Wayne.

If you had any strength, if you had any energy at all, you would've taken your mother and buried her someplace else.

But you didn't.

When you returned inside the manor, you went straight to your mother's room, which was also Bruce's room but you didn't care if he saw you in there or not. You just started packing all of your mother's stuff, her clothes, her jewellery, her photos, everything she came here with, which wasn't much to begin with but still.

"Y/n?" You stiffened when Bruce called you, but you didn't pause on packing. "What are you doing? Looking for something?"

You sighed. Might as well get this over with.

You turnd around, not looking him in the eye.

"I'm moving out. And I'm taking mom's stuff with me. You can check, I'm not stealing anything that belongs to you."

Bruce looked at you in confusion. "Moving out? Where are you going?"

"College. I'll be going there soon anyways, so I'm moving to an apartment with some friends."

"Oh, but you don't need to move out. You can stay with us. Youre family-" you cut him off.

"Bruce, let's not." You finally look at him. "We're not family. I never was, I never wanted to be. Mom's gone now, and I have no reason or desire to be here. Thank you for letting me stay here for as long as you have, but I will be moving out by tomorrow, if not tonight." You said picking up your mother's bag of stuff and walking out of the room. Bruce followed you to your room.

"But I don't want you to move-"

You dropped the bags. "I don't care what you want!"

Bruce looked at you with his brows furrowed. He didn't get why you were acting like this. Your yelling had gotten the attention of the boys too, all looking in confusion at the bags.

"I don't want to be a part of this family. I never have, and I never will. I never liked you or anyone in this family. And if you're concerned about me speaking to the media about you guys, don't worry. If it helps you, you can make me sign an NDA!"

Damian narrowed his eyes at you. "Dont talk to father like-"

"Shut up!" You yelled harshly. You didn't care who you were hurting. Your mother was gone, you had no reason to be amicable to them anymore.

-

They left you alone that day, and by the next morning, you were ready to leave. At 6 am, you walked down to the main door, with your bags. You weren't expecting them all to be waiting for you, but here they were. You took a step towards the door, but Dick stopped you.

He cleared his throat. "Um, this is the NDA... if you'd just sign it here." He handed you the papers.

Unbelievable. They actually drew up a contract. You took the pen from his hand and signed at the dotted lines.

"Bye." You took another step, except Damian and Tim blocked your path.

"What now?"

"Where are you going?" Tim asked.

"Do we have to go over this again?" You grumbled. "College." You answered.

"You can't." Damian said smugly. What's he smirking for?

"You're gonna break my legs?" You scoffed.

"No, you just signed a document saying that you're a part of this family, and Bruce Wayne is your guardian and has authority over all decisions concerning you like going to college, or even... going out of the house." Damian replied.

You looked at Bruce, because there's no way Damian is being serious. But there were no signs of joking. You looked at Dick, at Jason-

They were all dead serious.

"You cant- you can't be- you can't keep me here." You said.

"You signed the documents. It's your fault for not reading them." Tim said.

"Bruce-"

"I really do believe that it'd be better for you to stay here." Bruce said, taking ahold of your shoulders. "At least until you're doing better mentally."

"I'm fine-"

"I don't think so. And I could even take you to a psychiatrist, they'd agree with me." Bruce cupped your cheek as you flinched away. "You'd be happy here. I promise you that, you'll be safe and happy with us."

You'd try fighting, but you already knew you were outnumbered.

Besides, even if you weren't, even if you were alone with the smallest one of them, you still wouldn't be able to leave. You have no idea what Damian is capable of.

After all, he's the one who had your mother killed.

[lunamugetsu]

The CIA is trying to kill Danny

Now hear me out.

I stumbled upon this prompt idea where somebody wrote that they want to see a story where the CIA is trying to kill Clark Kent (not Superman, reporter Clark Kent), the reason is because that Clark Kent is a very good reporter. And everybody knows that a mark of a good reporter is that they die of natural causes, with bullets in their head. So that story would have centered around the CIA trying to kill Clark Kent and having no idea on how Clark Kent is still alive after the multiple attempts on his life.

Now this got me thinking.

In an AU where Danny is interning or working at the Daily Planet, probably under Clark or Lois.(you choose) And Danny is a really good reporter, his ghost powers help him gather information undetected. He's exposing corporations left and right, all ranging from either illegal animal experimentation, environmental pollution, horrible working conditions, toss in a couple of sleazy terrible rich people. So while all of his stuff is getting published and the govt is going, "we gotta stop that reporter." And proceed to constantly try to end this kid's life with no result. They try to poison food, Danny grew up eating radioactive food, if anything the poison is just added seasoning. They try to set up his place on fire, Danny's just conveniently not there. They try to have people tail him but they can't because Danny just disappears whenever he turns a corner.

And layers could be added to this, like Danny's just talking to Clark at work (y'know water cooler talk) and when Danny brings up all of these strange things happening to him like "people following him, the elevator at his place just conveniently broke down and crashed into the ground around the time he would have left for work, or how his usual food orders look a bit different than what they normally look like and they taste slightly different." And Clark is hearing all of this and is going "wait a minute!" and there's a scene of Clark walking with Danny as the kid is waiting for his uber and when the car pulls up. Clark uses his x-ray vision and spots the driver sporting guns, knives, poison gas (whatever CIA agents use for assassinations, I don't know) and just goes "Hey Danny did I ever take you to my favorite diner. No? GREAT! Let's go now!" and he just immediately drags Danny away from the murder car. And from that point on, Clark is taken it upon himself to stop all of the assassination attempts on Danny because he believes that Danny is a fragile young human being.

OR

This could be set in Gotham

And Danny is just exposing all of elites of Gotham, including Gotham's rogues and all of that song and dance. Which then leads him to be targeted by the Court of OWLS! Danny in this scenario would be friends with Tim, because they go to the same coffee shop and order the espresso on steroids drink. Danny tells him all of the stuff that's been happening to him and Tim goes "oh shit." In which he then tells the batsiblings. They all band together to protect Danny because he is a normal human being. (said nobody ever) So Danny becomes unofficially adopted by them. They don't tell Bruce about this because then they'll have to come to terms that they are just like him because they just took in a black haired blue eyed kid into their family.

[audhd-nightwing]

random wayne family shenanigans

the entire family gaslights the public into thinking tim and cass are and have always been twins. they forge birth certificates and everything

tbh this is probably canon but dick is damian’s second legal guardian after bruce. and for the period bruce is gone he’s the first and alfred is second

the kids try to convince gotham that all of bruce’s children are his biologically. people believe dick jason tim and cass but then there’s steph and duke. they still insist both of them are bruce’s bio kids. steph plays along bc she thinks it’s funny and duke just rolls his eyes whenever a reporter asks him (damian is obviously already confirmed to be bruce’s bio son)

bruce once asks tim to spread some misinformation so people get less suspicious of him when he disappears to do batman stuff. tim makes a ‘tell-all’ article about how bruce wayne and batman are secret lovers. he gets quotes from dick and babs. bruce regrets asking

when dick is first adopted he pretends not to know english so he won’t have to talk to reporters or do interviews. bruce definitely lets him bc he doesn’t want dick to be uncomfortable and the media is unrelenting otherwise. jason and damian absolutely copy this idea when they are first introduced to the public

tabloids keep accusing dick of cheating on babs until he does a interview where he says “we haven’t been dating for like a year, we decided we are better as friends and now i’m dating a guy and she’s dating a girl so…” and the media loses it. he also timed it so it’s during pride month bc he’s extra like that

they convince the public that jason’s death was faked so that he could live a normal life despite being adopted by a billionaire. it works surprisingly well. they tell everyone he left to travel the world so no one can confirm or deny where he was at any point during his “death”

(a part of the reason this is so easily accepted is that people write it off as ‘weird rich ppl shit’)

[crowned-aeris]

Part 1 is here!

More content from my brainworms 🤭

=====

Jason sneaks out in the dead of night with the pendant in his right hand, three fives in his hoodie pocket that he’d picked from Willis, and determination in his chest. He wasn’t sure how he was going to do this, but he’ll manage.

He walks to the nearest bus station, hyper-aware of all the people around him, some of which he recognizes as his future goons, and others as the people who've been pushed to the brink and resorted to working with the rougher rogues to survive and make ends meet. Jason wants to desperately help- to talk to them and warn them about their future- but it wouldn't do anything. As he was currently- a kid- he wouldn't be able to get anything done. No one would listen to him.

Jason sits down on the bus's perpetually sticky seats, trying not to grimace as he waited for the stop.

He mentally plans the route he'll be taking.

He could've gone for Dick first, but Jason doesn't think it would've worked. It's been a few days already, and if Dickface had retained his memory, then he would have already came knocking on Jason's door. Tim too, knowing that little genius stalker brain of his, nothing could've stopped him from accomplishing anything he set his mind to. Damian probably could too, but the brat’s barely concieved, and Jason doubts the league would let a literal infant out of their sight.

So, that’s why he was on his way to Timmy’s manor. Not only is Tim most definitely alone, he’s the easiest to reach.

As the bus halts at the stop closest to Bristol, Jason ignores the driver’s suspicious gaze and rushes off. He brushes his hand against his pocket knife (He’s not stupid, even in Bristol, Gotham was Gotham and the chance of death will never be less than 20%) and he begins walking.

He’s almost forgotten how- peaceful wasn’t quite the word- less terrible Gotham was earlier on in Bruce’s tenure as the Bat. Not only can he make out a few constellations, the sounds police sirens didn’t constantly fill the night… It moght’ve been after his death when everything started to go to shit.

Jason takes a deep breath, marveling at the cleanliness of the air. Sure, it wasn’t as clean as the country, but compare to Gotham when Damian became Robin, the atmosphere might as well be pure oxygen!

Halfway to the Drake Manor, Jason feels his legs grow sore and cramped. God, now more than ever he wished for his Robin training and post-death stamina. Was he ever this… weak?

Distantly, Jason hears the sound of the Batmobile rushing through the streets and shakes his head.

He was almost there. Tim’s bedroom lights were on and a shape was moving around.

Jason groans and breaks into a sprint despite his legs aching in complaint. Tim was, as he said, a creepy little stalker, and even at the ripe old age of six, he was already stalking the bats. Which, props to him, but Jason would rather not follow that weaselly little bastard through the roofs of Gotham.

“SHIT!” Jason curses, misjudging his momentum and slamming into the Drakes’ front door.

God, it hurt so fucking much, and- shit, his nose was bleeding…

But, silver lining and all that, because the door swings open to reveal a harried and panicked-looking Timothy Jackson Drake dressed head-to-toe black, with his hundred-dollar camera hanging around his neck.

God, Jason hates rich people.

“Are you okay?!” the six year old squeaks, lurching forward to stare uncertainly at him.

Well, that proves Jason’s theory. If Tim had all his memories, he would’ve pointed and laughed at him for being an idiot, and Jason would’ve tackled him, dick would get involved, they’d break a few things, and the cass would work with alfred to get them back in line…

(God, Jason wished they’d never gone on that stupid trip.)

“Do you think i’m fine?” Jason huffed, guilt filling his chest as he watched Tim’s face fall. God, sometimes he forgets that then younger Tim was still so… bright. He hadn’t grown into all his sass yet. “I didn’t mean that, kid-”

But it was in the small moments where he’s reminded of his little brother’s spirit.

Tim puffs up in offense, almost like a little cat of sorts, and narrows his eyes, “I’m not a kid! I’m six, and you’re not that old either!”

“Sure, buddy,” Jason rolls his eyes before reaching up with a bloodied hand and pinching his nose, careful to stick the pendant in his pocket where Tim couldn’t see it. “Can I get a little help now?”

“Oh!” just like that, the Tim Jason was used to dissipates, and the kid was back to his shy little self, “Right, sorry. Come in! I’ll go grab you some napkins- are you hungry? It’s really late, and- oh, we have some juice too! We have passion fruit, dragonfruit, starfruit, strawberry-”

“I’ll take passionfruit,” Jason interrupted with an amused smile, “if you have the time, add a dash of lemon juice, ice, and honey.”

He watches as the kid freezes before nodding. Passionfruit with lemon and honey… that was one of Tim’s favorite drinks as an adult, and he’d constantly bugged Jason to make him some. Honestly, rich people shit.

“Okay! Uhm, do you want to shower first? You- you’re covered in blood, and i don’t think that’s too comfortable…”

“Yeah, sure,” he shrugs, “Lead the way, Timbo.”

“Timbo?” the kid faltered and blinks in confusion, but continued to lead Jason toward the bathroom before handing him a change of clothes.

When he was alone, the sound of running water filling the room, Jason took out the pendant and stared at it… The urge to bash the stupid thing against the wall was near overpowering, but he didn’t know what would happen if he did, and Jason would rather not try his luck.

He quickly washes, scrubbing himself down and reveling with how the warm water soothed his aching muscles. While he was at it, Jason scrubs at his scalp and washes his hair with tim’s fancy-ass shampoo snd conditioner. God, he misses the good shit.

When he finished, jason picked dried himself and shoved the pendant into one of the pant pockets (batman themed. why wasn’t he surprised? wonder woman would be leagues better than bruce. Nightwing too, he’s kinda surprised- oh. yeah. shit, he forgot…)

He stretches, humming at how his back popped pleasantly before sauntering down the steps. Sometime during the shower, his nose had stopped bleeding. Thank god for that.

“Tim!” Jason called, yawning briefly as he saw the kid staring into the humming microwave. The kid startled before smiling, “Did you have a good shower?”

“Yeah, I did,” Jason nodded, “What are you making?”

“Food,” the kid replied easily, “they’re leftovers, do you want some?”

“Yeah sure, why not.”

As they ate, Jason wondered how the hell he was going to get the kid to remember. He hummed, feeling exhaustion pulling at his eyes as he finished with his portion of leftover spaghetti.

Tim looks over at him, “Are you tired?”

“Yeah,” Jasonsighs, “it’s been… a long couple of days.”

“Alright! We have a spare guestroom you can use, is that okay?”

Jason nodded. It’ll at least give him the time to think over how he’ll continue with his plan, “Yeah, sure. That’s fine. Lead the way, Tim.”

A few hours later, Jason was awaken by a shape pressing a knife to his throat.

He froze. His mind running through hundreds of different scenarios before he recognized the shape hovering over him.

“…Tim? What- what is this? Put the knife down, and we can-”

“How,” the kid interrupts with narrowed and blazing eyes, “do you know my name? I never told you who I am, and only the people who’ve worked with my parents know that I exist. Did someone send you to kidnap me?”

Jason blinked, running over the last few hours in his mind before realizing that yeah, oh shit, Tim was right. He never did tell Jason his name, did he?

“Okay, kid. I’m…” and then he sees a hint of golden scales peeking from the collar of the kid’s robin-themed sleep shirt, “My name is Jason Todd. You are Timothy Jackson Drake, the third Robin. I’m the second Robin, and… I come from the furture.”

Tim jolts away, taken aback by Jason’s words before becoming instantly suspicious, “You know my name, and you know I like Robin. Prove to me you’re from the future, and maybe i’ll trust you.”

Jason smiles despite the situation, because this was Tim. Tim wasn’t some scared and timid kid, he was an independent little narcoleptic gremlin who drank too much Monster, somehow caught the eye of Ra’s Al Ghul, lost his spleen, and could lie to Batman and get away with it.

“Here,” Jason said, gesturing for Tim to shuffle back before grabbing the pendant and tugging off his shirt. When Tim laid his eyes on the skeletal bird resting above Jason’s heart, his hand automatically drifts to the marking Jason was sure he had, “can i see your…”

Tim gave him an uncertain look, but Jason wasn’t too surprised. If some random creepy guy told him to take lf his shirt. Jason would’ve stabbed him and ran off.

“You have a knife, kid. If i tried doing anything, you could always stab me.”

“…Fine,” Tim bit out before shrugging off his shirt.

A golden snake stretched from the inside of Tim’s elbow, beautiful scales woven from gold coiled along the span of Tim’s arm before resting it’s head atop tim’s coller bone. Honestly? It was breathtaking, beautiful in a way that Jason envied, but it summarized Tim’s entire character pretty well. 

The pendant in Jason’s hand glows as it nears Tim’s golden snake.

“I want to test something,” Jason says, “i’m gonna touch this to the head of thr snake, and we’ll see what happens.”

Tim narrows his eyes, his grip on the knife tightening before he nods.

The pendant presses agasinst Tim’s collar for a brief second, and then everything begins to glow.

Tim’s eyes, the snake’s outline, the fucking pendant- literally everything was fucking glowing.

Jason clenched his jaws, forcing himself to remain still as his brother gasps in pain. Tim’s hans twitched and jerked, but, it was as if some- some force was holding him still.

Eventually, after a few agonizing seconds, the gold fades and Jason hurriedly yanks it away. He surges forward, pulling the knife out of tim’s hand before tossing it to the side, off of the bed and out of the way.

“Jay…”

“Yeah, timmy?” Jason leaned back, pulling his brother up before carding a hand through his hair.

Tim was quiet for a few moments before finally speaking, “We need to get Dick, and then Damian.”

“So,” Jason allows the amusement to fill his tone, “are you gonna hold a knife to their throat, too?”

“I will grab that knife and actually stab you,” Tim huffed, “leave you with a scar that matched Red Hood’s.”

Jason scoffed, but he couldn’t help the smile rising onto his lips, “Language, kid. Who taught you to say these things, baby bird?”

“Fuck off,” Tim hissed, “i’m tired, and I miss the big bird…”

“Yeah,” he sighs, “i do too… It’s whatever though. Go to sleep, Tim. We’ll try and grab him tomorrow.”

“Okay… Goodnight, Jay.”

“Night, Tim.”

And sure, it may be lonely with the rest of his siblings at his side, but at least he no longer had to spend this new (old?) life all by himself.

-----

part 3

[coupleoffanfics]

Future Child

Okay, Batsis reader. Right? On board? This is around the time when y/n has given up the nightlife and hasn't detached herself from the family.

I'm gonna go off the wall and say what if the family was visited by y/n's child from the future? I know it sounds crazy, but please listen. The family could run a DNA test or the child could walk up to Bruce in broad daylight and whisper, "Hello, flying rodent".

They won't reveal their name, so they're just called V.

During their time there Dick would be so tempted to ask about the future. Maybe not things specifically about his life because he knows they can't answer questions like that. But he'll ask just stupid questions like do cats have jetpacks or something? He'd also try to get to know his nephew. What they like, personality, etc.

Tim and Bruce would be poking at them on how they got here. Though Bruce probably had to take a moment to crack a smile for a split second. He was going to be a grandpa one day and the thought made him tear up. It's just happy news all around for him but he wouldn't dare show it.

Damian would be observing them closely and taking note of their outfit which looked to be something a hero would wear. Making him wonder what kinda of hero they were and if they were any good at fighting. Both Jason and Barbara just stood back from the situation. Babs is still in a bit of shock but is happy to hear that y/n was able to gain the domestic lifestyle she wanted.

y/n's child gives them a gist of how ended up here without giving names. Dick would notice V glancing around the cave and offer to give them a tour. They except of course. He takes note of how V doesn't seem into small talk but asks a lot of questions. The whole family picks up on how X asks a lot of questions about y/n. Their mother. It's odd and a bit worrying to Bruce, but the others just think that y/n didn't talk too much about her time as Batgirl.

Everything is relatively calm until y/n walks into the Batcave for her laptop. V's calm, almost stoic mood is dropped. Tim and Bruce see how V almost took a step forward, but reluctantly stood still. How V started rapidly blinking their eyes and struggling to look at y/n.

Dick would probably zoom up to y/n with a big smile, "Hey, Mama bird, did you get the diapers?" And y/n just gives him a confused, maybe even sacred look.

Everything is going fine. The family is working together on getting them to their time. Cool, yeah, whatever.

But what if there's just something that triggers V. It could be something that was said or asked that leads V and y/n to argue. It's not even arguing. It's just V spilling out grievances about their father and kind of insulting y/n.

"I can't believe you'd still defend him even before you met him. How rich."…"You didn't plan me, but Dad did and you were somehow okay with it? I was only there to keep you down, but what about the other two? Did you love them more because Dad didn't plan them?"…"Dad may have cared about you, but not us. You weren't a monster like him, but letting him get away with so much makes you just as guilty."…"You're both broken people. Maybe you two are meant to be."

V storms off and y/n retreats to her room. Everyone is dumbstruck by this sudden revolution.

Eventually, V does apologize to y/n. When she awkwardly accepts, they get misty-eyed because they really didn't mean to say any of that. They know how she doesn't take the apology, not entirely, and they feel like shit. They do care about their mom, despite all that they said.

When it's almost time for V to return back to the future they pull the whole family aside. Excluding y/n so she won't hear what they're going to say.

"As you guessed my Dad wasn't the best. Mom never talked about any of you and with Dad being a villain I could understand why. He's not a good person in general. Mom deserved better, so this time around try doing a better job. Don't let her slip away or be taken away. If I'm born then you know you failed."

This resonates with the family and brings up questions that won't be answered anytime soon. I could see this leading the family to become yandere or overprotective. Either one is fine because their efforts are futile.

If going down the Yandere route then I could see them becoming so overbearing that y/n runs from them. They control her life. Who she talks to, where she goes, what she does. She can't live like this and she runs away when given the chance.

If going down the protective route then it's slightly better than the Yandere one. At least in terms of their relationship. They pay extra attention to her and check up on her regularly until one day she just disappears.

In each route, They'd keep a close eye on any guy that has similar physical features (ex: hair, eyes). Since V has stated they look more like their father. When she does go missing they'll search high and low for her, but there isn't anything that would locate where she is. Her disappearance keeps them up at night for many years until a vaguely familiar person visits the manor.

They awkwardly introduce themself, "Hi, my name is..."

They failed.

If anyone wants to write about this idea then go ahead. Doesn't even have to be the Batfamily. I won't write about it unless asked. I'm just not married to the idea. It almost 2 in the morning I need sleep.

[dairy-farmer]

I call this the Highlander Au! >:Dc There can Be Only One! (Unless he REALLY enjoys the process and the world stops going to shit for like... FIVE god damned minutes!) (The second is sadly unlikely)

Tim? Fully Cis gendered male. Not terribly ATTACHED to this, physically, but certainly identifies as Male and has a male body.

Maybe it's been all the near misses. The "all my friends fuckin DIED on my and I mentally spiraled like you wouldn't believe". Could be him finally reclaiming his life. Or yet another horrible mental spiral. Who knows!

But he's decided.

He wants to be a Dad. *sound of various Bats choking and/or dropping things*

Is even seeing anybody? Nope. How the FUCK is he gonna get a baby?! Oh, normal, Bat Paranoid fashion. Cloning tube. Same way Damian happened. He just needs to figure out the maternal DNA and he's golden. Figure out where to hide his tech to stop Villainous Baby Snatching Plots.

Because that's a very real concern.

No you can't talk him out of this. Timmy want himself a baby. Is already designing a nursery and studying child development books. Parenting manuals, getting those little animal onsies, lazer death grids to ward of Ra's ninjas. The works.

Bruce is off to the side, quietly having an aneurysm and choking to death on his own spit. Baby boy? Fatherhood? OFFSPRING!? Alone and not going to LET HIM HELP!? But why would he help!? Bad idea! But. But he needs to BE THERE to TAKE CARE of TIM and the future BABY! Aaaaaaaaa-!!!!!

It's a... "Fun" time. Dick is nearing a nervous breakdown. Bruce not far behind. Damians having Feelings(tm).

Then! At a Wayne Charity Event(tm)? Small glowing child. Looks alien. Is getting upset. People backing away IN A HURRY because they just watched this child WARP REALITY to turn the nearest table into candy.

Tim is there as the face of the family. A hero. Already feeling generally Paternal. Upset baby is Bad. So he goes in, dispite clear protests. Gets low and talks soothing.

But the alien Wants Her MOMMY!

And? Oh. Well there goes the protective amulets JLA Dark made for him. Now he's in an alien dress and? Very much no longer Cis. Guess he would have and DID inherent from his dad's side of the family, no boobs. Tiny. At least he got his mom's killer legs.

And the kiddo isn't scared any more. Since he "looks like mommy".

Except not even remotely, because she warps into being an HOUR later, looking for her daughter and is made of pure light. Thanks him. Doesn't FIX anything. And just leaves. Gee, thanks lady.

There were REPORTERS there. Tim Drake has tits now. Front page news. Great. Ra's is GOING to know and get WEIRD about it.

Tim shrugs. Off to Leslie we go, though. Check up time!

Yep. Full lady bits action. And, hey! Shiny new spleen! So that's nice.

It DOES change his plan though. He didn't, you know, collect any "samples" yet. But? Does... does he NEED too? He COULD concoct a story of "rich person hires mystic to get penis back" after going and getting magiced back.... OR?

He could have someone put a baby in him! *simultaneous Bat Choking Noises*

MUCH easier to defend. THEN he could be changed back, after the baby is weaned. The problem is who to trust? Ra's is ABSOLUTELY going to do everything in his power to get his seed inside Tim new puss. So a seed bank is out. And-

*hands slam on the table*

Obviously! We can't trust anyone outside this house! Villian plots and Ra's specifically! Bat paranoia! W-we will just have to make this sacrifice for you!

.....Weirdly intense, but okay.

Objection! Says Tim's newly no longer Dead team mates. Tim tried to CLONE Kon! OBVIOUSLY it should be Kon! And Bart! Bro Threesome! Let nature decide! (Then kid number 2 is the other Bro, is only FAIR)

ALSO a good point. He did have that promise, if one of them ever got turned into a girl. And a Kon baby WOULD be nice...

Shit! Grayson pulls "last of my legacy and I have so much to make up for" cards!

Is betrayed by his OWN FATHER (Bruce! How COULD YOU!?) Who plays "you saved me from the time steam and nearly died for me, let me help(emotional)" to devastating effect!

Cheating! Howls the Speedster! You're CHEATING!!!

And Tim stands there... kinda confused but finding he's actually Really In To This as people argue over how much THEY want to be the one to put a baby in him? He's never felt this badly WANTED. Desired.

He may not want to go through the whole "actually carrying a baby for 9 months then pushing one out" thing more then once.... but the fighting over him thing? This might be awaking something.

And, well, Kon already made a good point. Why try to control it? Let nature decide~

Everyone can help.

The argument stops dead. For all of the seconds before "who goes first?" Occurs to everyone.

Sadly for THEM, Bruce is a bastard willing to play dirty to get what he wants. And his house his rules. He goes first. After all, he no doubt smirks, none of THEM have the... experience, to handle a virgin properly.

He refuses to allow Tim hurt on his watch.

Got it? Good talk. Tim, with him.

Which is what leads to Tim clawing at the bed and begging like his life depends on it, soaked in sweat, hours later. As Bruce STILL gently, teasingly, RUTHLESSLY eats him out. Puddles worth of lube ruining the sheets and easing his way, as he works calloused fingers DEEP to find spots Tim didn't know he had yet. As they rub and tease and fuck against those spots so relentlessly it feels like Tim's coming apart.

He didn't even know he could MAKE half these noises.

His hole is so wet and sloppy, it's like it's given up. Like his body can do nothing but quiver and twitch under Bruce's hands. Given how big he is? Probably the point. Because he crawls up to loom over Tim like a giant. Presses kisses to his whimpering, sweaty face. And rocks into his exhausted body, filling every inch of him.

It doesn't even hurt. Something that big probably SHOULD for his first time, but Bruce isn't a legendary playboy for nothing. And it just fills and Fills and FILLS. Rubs against everything in a way that makes his toes curl. Makes him want to gasp and cling, even though he's so exhausted.

Bruce just shooshes him. Pulls him close. He won't have to do a thing. He can just cling to Bruce and feel good. Bruce is here. He's got you.

And it's the best thing Tim's ever felt. Forget masturbation, sex is AMAZING. Bruce rocking then thrusting then pounding into his body. Holding tight like something precious. Hammering his good spots still he sees stars. Til he's nearly sobbing, hiccuping, from how good it feels to have his insides all messed up.

Bruce fills him up. All gooey and warm. Picks him up and carries him to a clean bed to get wiped down and tucked in. Cleans up then joins him. Fills him back up and tucks him close. He feels boneless and precious. Sleeps like the dead.

Discovers sex with a puss is AWESOME.

Next morning, he's barely out of Bruce's room before Dick is scooping him up and dragging him into his room. Almost franticly bending him in half as he presses him to the bed, kissing the air out of him. Holding his face as he whispers filthy praise into his lips. Hips relentless as they slam home, pounding at just the right angle.

Like he's trying to make for YEARS of mistakes by pouring it all into pleasure NOW. Clinging tight and trying to fry Tim's brain with how good he can make him feel. Dick buries his faces against Tim's neck and rutts like he's making up for lost time. Fucking Tim through orgasms, spilling again and again, like he's determined to drain his balls dry and wring every last bit of pleasure he CAN out of Tim's exhausted body.

Tim has to threaten to hit him with an alarm clock to let him up. Tim wants LUNCH damn it. They missed breakfast. By a LOT.

But then work calls. Damn it. So he has to get dressed. Double damn it. And he does it, but refuses to be pleased about it. Resolves things. Even gets ahead on work. Only for DAMIAN to walk stiffly into his office. Sus.

The gremlin hands him a frankly VERY well put together report on why he, Damian AL Ghul... should be allowed to fuck a baby into Tim. He has brought along a slide show and genealogical report.

.......Explain.

Damian does. He REALIZED some things about himself. When Tim was discussing becoming a Father. Using the same method as he, himself, was created. Went through a whole "go to the Kent farm and have a life change adventure" character growth arc, as you do. And? Now realizing that he potentially COULD be DIRECTLY involved in the Hypothetical Child's life instead of as an uncle?

He wants in. They could be glorious, combined. AND he firmly believes Tim will be a magnificent Mother. Let him Father your child.

It's a bad idea. Tim knows this. He literally JUST slept with Bruce yesterday and nothing good comes from sleeping with AL Ghul's. They Obsess. But? Fuck it. Maybe THIS is the thing that finally stops the Tim-Gremlin cold war and bring peace to house Wayne once and for all. He unbuckles his belt. Walks over to his resting room.

And Tim KNOWS, even as he's being urgently fucked into the fold out bed, that this is an AWFUL idea. No way in HELL, from the desperate and sloppy thrusts, clinging, panting and whines, is this NOT Damian's first time. He's utterly undone.

Pounding load after load into Tim because it feels too good to stop. All enthusiasm and no skill. Half the pleasure Tim's even GETTING is his own hand, relentlessly teasing his own clit. But? Oh. The feeling of being wanted so BADLY. Of cum, gushing and gushing into him. Knowing it's HIS hole that's so good, it's driving Damian incoherent.

He feels... sexy. It DEFINITELY does something for him. He may not be able to go back. Could see himself enjoying being a milf.

But of course. Business hours end. And he PROMISED! Is swept up by Bart for their threesome. Which, after several rounds and untold loads of near-no-refractary-period speedster cum dumped inside him? Is kinda spotty, in his memory.

All he knows for certain is he wakes up to his sheepish best friends, "Sorry we fucked you unconscious repeatedly" bribes, no voice, and a warm bath. He's also plugged up and FULL full of that premium speedster/half-kryptonian blend cum, because apparently his friend intend to WIN and nothing says victory like overwhelming odds. He'd call them fuckers, but they ARE and hold no remorse. He can't move.

Carry him you bastards.

When he asks where Cassie is, he learns she's apparently trying to harrass the magic users into a making her a temporary "turn me into a dude" amulet. Both as a gift AND so she can join the race for Father Of Tim's Baby. Huh. Interesting new options.

Obviously, throughout ALL of this, ninjas. Because Ra's has never wanted to smash so hard in his LIFE.

Instead, Tim is out here, on Jason's shitty couch. Getting lifted up and slammed down onto his cock. Called baby girl. Princess. Jason's never been harder. Already planning their kids graduation dinner and baby number three.

Tim feeling precious and taken care of and DESIRED. Like the young adult with a first shitty apartment he never got to be. Something so close to normal. Put a baby in him. Fuck him like you love him, like they do this every Saturday night, then eat pizza and watch trash TV. Fill him up.

And if course~ it's a VICIOUS game of Fuck The Tim keep away, up until one day he starts to show. Then Everyone is loving and coddling and in a "No I Am The Father" cold war. The birth is a nightmare, because Tim is slender and more scar tissue then not. But?

Adorable quarter-Kryptonian! With the biggest blue eyes and Tim's porcelain doll face.

Tim is NOT doing that again. Ffffffuck giving birth. And being pregnant! Granted, the EARLY part? He loved. He glowed. Getting pregnant was AWESOME. But later stages? God awful. Clone tube babies from here on out.

Absolute Devastation in the Tom Fucking Community. Babe no! You can't MEAN IT!

Woah, hey! He never said he'd STOP. "Getting Pregnant" is very, VERY enjoyable. He's just refusing to carry SHIT. Birth control for HIM. Scooping that slurry of "leave it up to Nature" out and storing it. Now... Kon stop being smug and hold your son.

-🐼🐼🐼

😭😭😭 tim getting everyone to come to dinner and they all think it was alfred and are like 'this was a great idea alfred! we should all get together like this more often' only for tim to cough and say well actually i called you all here, i figured you all deserved a heads up since i'm going to be undergoing some serious life changes. everyone's confused and then tim says he's going to have a baby.

immediate panic and some disappointment from bruce because he thinks this is a teen pregnancy and he expected better from tim only for tim to have to yell to interrupt everyone and say there is no 'girl', not yet anyway. he's just announcing that he's GOING to have a baby. they're not yet conceived and now the family is dealing with whiplash of how of course TIM would do something like this now they're sitting their listening to him talk about the ideal gene pool given tim's family has a history of mental issues and he's going into some very detailed things like nurseries and everyone just wants him to slow down because tim is still a kid!!! dick is older than him and even HE doesn't feel ready. so everyone is trying to talk tim out of it while tim insists he's ready, he's been going to a therapist for 11 months trying to deal with his issues so he COULD be ready to be a parent.

which of course baffles them even more because???? dick has been trying to get them all into therapist for years and tim just???? went??? on his own????

bruce is of course the least welcoming of tim's ideas of teen parenthood. because what about highschool, college? at least ONE of his kids has to go to college!

tim however says no, says his GED is more than enough.

bruce tries finding other angles, asking what if he just sets tim up with babysitting gigs? make him see kids aren't that great and tim just huffs and said he already did a bunch of babysitting and volunteering at the children's centers in gotham as part of his adoption application!

which ???? just stressed bruce out even more?! because tim had tried to adopt a baby first? but apparently got rejected because of his age, lack of partner, and lack of job which tim loudly says is unfair because bruce was in his 20s when he took in dick and HE hadn't had a partner or a job!

so the family is protesting, despertly trying to get tim to change his mind,,, then tim gets a womb and suddenly the protests die down VERY quick.

[stealingyourbones]

Superboy meets Danny

Ok. Let me explain my points here. First of all, Things these boys got in common:

Was cloned by a crazy billionaire (Match & Dani)

Has a father who doesn’t understand or is actively trying to stop/kill them

Trying their best to not be related to said crazy billionaire who cloned them

The crazy billionaire is also a villain

Rebellious teen

Has a trio friend group that (is partially) comprised of a tech geek and rich friend.

That’s all I can think of just at the moment! There’s so much more. These bitches would be a force to be reckoned with if they ever met.

Danny goes to Metropolis on a school trip. You know how some American schools will have a weekend trip to DC? Every year the Juniors in the school have the opportunity to go to Metropolis.

Danny’s parents happily give Danny the money and permission to go.

With the only drawback that you have to write a paper on the history of how superheroes changed america, Danny was ecstatic to go.

Danny, Dash, Sam, and Tucker are all put in a team to explore Metropolis and collect information for their paper. Their first stop: An impressive viewing deck on the top of a 30 story building that has a good view on the city's skyline that was streamlined so Superman could have easy access to rooftops and all building entrances.

The four are on the viewing deck and taking photos of the view and informational plaques when Intergang attacks the building they’re in with Apoklyptian tech.

One of their gizmos is like a flamethrower on steroids that’s able to shoot a stream of fire dozens of stories high. Within minutes the first 10 stories are completely engulfed in flame. Danny, not wanting to expose his secret identity to Dash, tells everyone to shout for Superman because he supposedly helped people in distress who shouted his name.

Superboy shows up a minute later. Not who they expected but they weren’t picky with who was saving them with over half the building engulfed in flame and no escape in sight.

Danny is super casually talking to Superboy and flirting back and forth as they’re flown down to the street. Dash is confused because Danny Fenton, the kid who he beats the shit out of on the daily and has no bitches, is chatting up Superboy like they’ve known each other for years, and Dash knows damn well that they’ve never met before. Danny can’t make friends with a superhero before him so Dash tries to do his cool guy act on Superboy.

Dash probably shouldn’t have tried to insult someone who was a superpowered teen and flying him hundreds of feet above solid ground because Superboy did NOT like that. He shot down Dash with insults so scathing that Dash is pretty sure the rest of his entire bloodline won’t be able to recover.

After that Dash knew to simply shut up as Superboy brought the rest of the crew to the ground. Just before he was about to leave, Superboy slipped Danny a piece of paper, winked, and mimed “call me” before flying off.

…Did Danny just score a date with THE Superboy?!

Well, not a date per se, but Danny DID get Superboy’s number. They met up as much as they could over the weekend that Danny was in Metropolis and quickly became fast friends.

These two are an incredibly tight duo who are some of the most mischievous motherfuckers ever when left to their own devices.

One of those times is when they convinced Tucker to hack into the Batcomputer. Superboy told him what he knew and Tucker went to work.

Twenty or so minutes later, Barbara and Tim are freaking the fuck out because they were both on monitor duty and someone hacked into the batcomputer. After panicking and tracing back the hack, they take over the hackers computer camera and see Superboy and another black haired teen triumphantly cheering while the boy who apparently infiltrated the batcaves computers, was holding his head in his hands mockingly at the two superpowered kids' actions.

Tim and Babs realize that this wasn’t a malicious attack and instead just a couple of insanely competent idiots having fun. If these guys can have fun why can’t they?

Babs infiltrates the computer that has shockingly insanely well crafted cyber security. She changes the lockscreen and every tab open to an image of Red Robin getting fucking beaned in the skull with a jug of juice. Tucker responds 15 minutes later on the batcomputer with a low angle photo of himself and Superboy flipping off the camera. At the far top of the image is Danny crawling upside down on the ceiling, feet and fingers embedded into the bumpy surface. His eyes glowing a bright green and looking like an eldritch abomination.

This starts one of the strangest friendships that Tucker has ever had. Actively hacking into eachothers computers to send back and forth increasingly elaborate shitposts and enhancing their firewalls with each breach of security. Danny actively repairs ghost nations, ghost politics, ghost relations, and completes a BUNCH of ghost king related activities he normally would have hated for the sole purpose of getting specific ghosts together to create the new shitpost of the week that they would send to Oracle and Red Robin.

Batman finds out only because Superboy let it slip. “Got through to your stupid batcomputer three times this week! You’re slacking Gordon.”

In all honesty, Batman thinks it’s fucking halarious. His kids managed to find the nerdiest possible way to make friends and they’re making massive improvements on the Batcomputer and Watchtower’s security. If these kids ever DO become a threat… Batman knows exactly where they lived and has an armed satellite at the ready.

Now that Batman knows, Superboy gets Red Robin and Impulse together to meet the Phantom trio. I need you guys to picture this: It’s a cozy family owned diner. Warm oranges, reds, and tans cover the inside of the building. A very sweet looking mid 40s lady with her hair in a bun and an apron around her waist, walks over to a corner booth and asks the customers what they would want to eat.

At this table: Danny, Sam, and Tucker all are wearing their casual everyday clothes sit at one side of the table while talking animatedly to the trio on the other side of the table: Red Robin, Impulse, and Superboy, all in their full superhero uniforms, are talking just as excitedly right back at the Phantom Gang on what to order.

So Sam. Sam would be amazing with Tim. Imagine the amount of eco-friendly ideas she could propose to Tim to better the public's view of WayneTech. With Sam’s help, Tim launches a campaign to fix infrastructure and do a HUGE plant based rehabilitation plan to help reduce smog and add greenery to Gotham. Tim hires Poison Ivy to help with the enhanced growth of trees and gardens around Gotham and it goes extremely well. Poison Ivy commits bioterrorism for the betterment of the environment after all, they remove the terrorism bit and just keep the bio, she isn’t that bad. It’s amazing because that means there’s one less villain on their asses all the times tearing up Gotham.

Sam also absolutely gives everyone makeup lessons and fashion tips to embrace their own personal aesthetic better.

Tucker is super good friends with Tim and Impulse. He somehow can keep up with Impulses talking and the pair will spend hours excitedly infodumping each other. Tucker chatting with Tim about tech and some improvements that they could send to the engineering division of WayneTech. The amount of chaotic bullshittery Tucker will do with the two is unparalleled.

Danny is extremely good friends with Impulse and Superboy. Superboy and him bond over their experiences and powers. They go on bi weekly night flights to brainstorm pranks and insults to throw at their respective villains. Danny is able to also keep up with Impulse's excited speech and they give each other tips on how to control powers granted to them by all powerful other dimensions.

idk this ends my rambling but I just… Danny would be such good friends with Superboy. If you want to go romantic, they would be an incredible couple. The flirting and nonstop jabs could absolutely be simply bros being bros but I genuinely think these two could have a very solid romantic connection with each other if you want to go in that direction. Their backgrounds are so very similar, their personalities would mesh together extremely well, they’re vigilantes so no worries about endangering a weak civilian, and you cannot tell me that Danny wouldn’t steal Connor’s jackets even if he wasn’t in a relationship with him.

In the far future I truly believe they would stay friends. When Danny reveals to Impulse and Robin that he’s actually a ghost and the photos they were sending to the batcave were honest to god images of another dimension, it certainly causes momentary panic and chaos but it quickly settles into acceptance. How on earth Robin or Impulse would react to the Ghost Zone I am completely unsure. If someone else wants to add onto this with that concept you can surely go for it. All I do know is that their awe and wonder of this brilliantly strange and odd dimension that their friend (who’s apparently the ruler of?! What?!?!) lives in. They all use the GZ as a sort of hideaway when things get complicated and too much in the mortal plane. They all have little rooms in Danny’s lair that they are free to crash in at any time.

This offer may spread to everyone else too. Connor invites Danny and the rest of Young Just Us over to the Kent’s farm to enjoy some incredible homemade meals and to take their mind off things to focus on chores around the farm. Tim invites the group over to Wayne Manor for their assistance on difficult cases (if the research session turns into a Mario Kart tournament or movie marathon, that’s between them and Alfred)

I am very much so unsure how to end this so I’ll just say this: Danny’s life changed for the better and no matter what he does, he can never escape “are you an angel?” jokes.

[britcision]

I’m spoiling you all, really, the last chapter was just last night

Buuuuut it’s WIP Wednesday, so enjoy!

Chapters in the tag

——————

Pay Attention To Me Dammit

“Okay,” Danny sucked in a deep breath, surfacing from Jason’s suit to two deeply concerned pairs of blue eyes, “let’s get somewhere private real fast.”

Tucker snickered, helpfully extracting both him and Sam from Jason’s arms.

“I can’t fucking believe you forgot Vlad was coming,” he sighed, voice still shaking as he gave Jason a once over.

Sam, sucking in huge gasps of air, pinched his arm as she straightened.

“Oh shut up, not like you brought him up either,” she wheezed, still grinning.

“Vladdie’s gonna be fucking heartbroken,” Tucker sighed happily, shoving Danny towards a corner.

People were definitely looking. And not just the other four bats; regular guests were watching behind fans, hands, or just deadass staring.

Tim took over, catching Danny’s wrist and pulling the other boy after him. They weren’t that far off the same height.

“So, should I take it that “Vlad” being here is a good thing or a bad thing?” He asked, pulling on his best socialite smile, heading for one of the hall exits instead.

“Side room?” Jason wondered, guiding Sam and Tucker quickly after him. Tim nodded without looking back.

“They shouldn’t be busy yet. We can talk without being overheard,” he added to the other three, who obligingly sped up.

“As for your question, Vlad being here is… probably gonna end up being nothing?” Danny offered, doing his best smiles for the rich assholes they passed.

Sam kicked him in the ankle.

“Wait til we’re alone,” she said quietly, hustling Tucker along.

Unsurprisingly to Jason and Tim, the first side room already had four other people sitting in it, on two extremely plush couches, angled at right angles and facing a fireplace. Before Danny could turn to find another, Steph caught his hand and pulled him in.

“Hi, Stephanie Brown, friend of the Waynes, we’re gonna talk all about Jason’s adorable little crush on you but first, what did you need privacy for?” She asked, eyes bright with innuendo.

Danny grinned right back, already liking this one, and relaxed when Tim and Jason guided the others in and shut the door.

“Well, I guess you all being here means no one has to be found later… and the more eyes the better in this case,” he mused, looking over the other teens and young adult.

Dick waved at Tucker, grinning sarcastically.

“Danny. And Danny,” he added, nodding to Danny himself.

Sam hid a snicker behind her hand.

“That’s what you went with?” She asked Tucker, and he grinned entirely unrepentantly back.

“What, Jason said he told them who I was,” he said in his very best innocent voice.

Before they could get going, Jason raised a hand.

“I’m gonna guess there was a reason you snuck Danny in other than getting back at Sam’s parents? Vlad Masters,” he prodded, dropping to sit on one of the plush royal blue couches next to Cass.

All three Amity Parkers sobered immediately.

“Right… yeah, we should sit for this,” Tucker agreed, glancing around the room. Seating for nine was going to be tight, but… well, he may no longer be a teenager, but he was still seating-flexible.

Introductions were made as people juggled themselves around, finally ending with Cass, Jason, and Danny on one sofa, Sam, Steph, and Damian on the other, and Dick and Tim perching on windowsill or sofa arm respectively. Tucker took the floor.

Once movement stilled, Danny exchanged glances with Sam and Tucker. Maybe hoping that for once, he wouldn’t be doing the explaining?

He shoulda known better.

Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair and didn’t lean intentionally into Jason’s side. It was good to have another halfa around, that was all.

“Sooooo… cliff’s notes? Vlad Masters is a shady millionaire who uses some seriously unethical shit to make predatory deals with other millionaires to steal their fortune. We think he’s here to make his way to that final “b”, byyyy stealing your dad’s fortune,” he explained quickly, glancing around at the Waynes and adjacents he could see.

They did not look convinced.

Tim frowned, leaning forward on his knee and steepling his fingers.

“If you have proof of that, shouldn’t someone already be looking into him?” He asked contemplatively, eyes fixed on Danny’s face.

It was. Weirdly intense.

Fighting down discomfort, Danny shrugged.

“So remember when I said deeply unethical? Think like, mind control. He’s hard to investigate.”

“You make him sound like a supervillain,” Dick noted from the windowsill.

Sam raised a pointed eyebrow at him.

“Duh, we said “millionaire”.”

“Hey,” Tim protested, leaning around Steph to frown at her, “I’m a millionaire.”

She stared him dead in the eye while Steph snickered.

“I said what I said.”

“And so are you,” he shot back sharply, eyes narrowing.

Sam didn’t blink.

“I work at a plant nursery my parents don’t approve of and pay my own tuition. My family are millionaires; I’m not,” she said plainly.

Tim puffed up his cheeks, but let them deflate silently. Jason definitely wasn’t smirking.

Cass leaned forwards suddenly, eyes darting around the room searchingly before settling on Sam.

“Masters. Your connection?” She asked softly, the others stilling to hear her.

Both of Sam’s brows rose, but she didn’t comment at hearing the other girl’s voice for the first time. She looked to Danny instead, raising an eyebrow.

Danny blew out a huff of air, ruffling his bangs.

“So… we… well…”

“He wants to fuck Danny’s mom and adopt Danny,” Tucker said bluntly, tipping his head back to hit Danny’s knees and grinning up at him.

Danny poked him in the forehead, but didn’t refute it.

“Yeah. So he’s kinda been my problem for a while. And he’s the mayor of Amity Park now? Is he still?” He asked, looking from one to the other.

Sam shrugged.

“Think so. I haven’t heard about anyone new.”

The Waynes and co were all kind of just… staring at them. Danny gave them jazz hands.

“And now he’s heeeeeere. He probably won’t make any moves if he knows I’m around, but we should keep an eye on him around Mr Wayne anyway.”

“And we can add him to the fuckery list, along with Sam’s parents,” Tucker added with a very satisfied smile.

It drew all eyes his way, ranging from intrigued to sceptical.

“How?” Steph asked, eyes bright.

Tucker waved a hand over the room.

“Black hair. Blue eyes. For one thing, Mr Drake-Wayne is even the same height, so if he sees you from behind, he could be confused. Dick’s not far off either. And best of all,” he added while the others did quick visual comparisons, decidedly smug, “we hint that Bruce is thinking of accepting Danny as an intern. Step one of Wayne Adoption.”

Sam’s eyes lit up with evil glee.

“Oh he’d do his fucking nut if you cozied up to someone richer than him, Danny,” she gasped, hands bouncing on her lap.

Danny hesitated for a moment, glancing over at Jason. Who was looking back, gears clearly turning. Seeing that he had Danny’s eye, he leaned in quickly.

“Vlad Masters would be Vlad Plasmius, yes?” He asked in a low voice. He’d scanned the database more than read in detail, but he knew the basics.

One very important basic.

Vlad was the other halfa.

And Vlad could sense other halfas. For a hot second Danny very nearly took off out of the room, ready to go find and kick Vlad’s ass and keep him far, far away from Jason.

He didn’t realise he’d clenched his fists until one of them was held in a large, hot hand. Slowly, shakily he uncurled them, checking for blood in the deep half moon crevices now dug in his palms.

Nothing. He was fine.

“Danny?” Jason asked softly, and Danny looked up to his face. There was something in his eyes, something familiar in the way they flashed a deep, sudden green when their eyes met.

Yeah, Jason’s Obsession was fucking definitely Protection, at least in part. Danny clasped his hand quickly, half worried Jason was gonna do just what he’d had to try so hard not to.

Would it have been that bad if Jason was just his friend, not his knight?

There was no way to know anymore.

Covering Jason’s hands in both of his, he gave Jason the best smile he could.

“I’m fine. But yeah, that’s him. And we… should probably also have a private word.” Because there was this sudden, very nasty little temptation curling through him.

“Would this private word have anything to do with Jason almost going full feral?” Dick asked with a studied innocence that had at least a master’s degree.

Which was when Danny noticed that the rest were all staring at them. At their clasped hands. At Jason’s still a little too green eyes.

**

Jason grimaced, fully aware of what they must have seen. He tamped the green down firmly, pushing against the wave of protect-protect-PROTECT the pit was damn near screaming inside him.

Wasn’t entirely sure it was only the pit.

Watching Danny tense up like that, clearly in the throes of fight or flight, pulled at something primal inside him.

Jason didn’t know who Vlad Masters was, what he looked like, what he was doing, but he was fully willing to throw him out of the building by the neck if Danny would relax even a little.

He threatens my king, something growled in the back of his mind and Jason’s hands jerked.

That was fucking new. And not fucking welcome.

He looked to Dick instead, giving him a strained smile. It was the best he could do right now.

“Yeah,” he admitted, not fully comfortable with how strained his voice sounded. How tight his throat felt.

Had the pit tried to use his mouth? Make him speak?

Just the thought made him want to puke, but he pushed that down too. He had shit to do today, and the pit wasn’t gonna ruin it.

“I told you he was helping me with the pit,” he added when Dick still looked calculatedly calm. Definitely not about to tackle him to the ground if he moved too suddenly.

Fuck Jason hoped Dick never tried. When they fought for fun, for training, sure Dick could hand him his ass six ways from Sunday. But when the green took over…

He didn’t want to hurt his brother. None of his brothers, ever again.

Except maybe a little bit psychologically.

“Fenton’s eyes changed too,” Damian said sharply, and oooh absolutely nothing in Jason liked that accusatory tone.

Not about Danny. Not about his king.

His head snapped around to glare at the youngest and knew his eyes had gone green again from the way the others recoiled. All but Sam and Danny. And Damian himself, suicidal little gremlin.

All but Cass, who slipped herself carefully but immovably back into his lap, hooking her feet into the backs of his knees and hands on his cheeks. Pinning him in place.

Making him look at her, not Damian.

She studied his expression intensely, her eyes saying more than even Dick could manage.

And there was a hand in his again, gently soothing across his fingers until his knuckles opened, and Cass let him look away to Danny. Doing just what Jason had done less than a minute ago.

Danny didn’t have to tell his secrets to anyone he didn’t want to. Not now, not the first time they met, not before he trusted them.

Anger-protect-not their business

And Danny smiled back, all gentle and soft, and Jason settled back, relaxing muscles he hadn’t noticed tensing.

Reassurance-calm-safe safe safe-trust

If Jason trusted them, Danny would too. And if that didn’t sting something right in his chest.

Danny cleared his throat, turning back to the rest of the room and giving them a slightly tighter smile.

“Yeah. I. Uh… I was exposed to the Lazarus pits? About a year before Jason was. So I know what it’s like when it gets too strong.”

Half truths at best, but close enough to be believed. To make sense.

Close enough that no one except Damian, tactless boy wonder, would ever ask.

“Only the dying can survive exposure to the pits,” the boy snapped, eyes sharp as he studied Danny in a new light.

Jason’s hands nearly clenched again, but this time Danny’s was in the way. Protecting Danny meant not crushing Danny’s hand.

Good loophole.

“The dying and the dead,” Danny agreed placidly, calm just barely tinted by amusement.

Jason closed his eyes, let himself focus on breathing in Danny’s aura.

Was that a hint of trouble-fun-plans plans mayhem?

Damian squinted at Danny for another long moment, then nodded sharply and sat back. Steph punched him.

“Damian, you can’t just go asking people if they’ve died,” she hissed in a comically loud whisper.

“It was relevant to the conversation!” Damian insisted, immediately sitting back up to defend his honour. Steph tweaked his nose and he properly growled, gearing up to tackle her.

“It was rude, Baby Bat,” Dick coaxed gently, coming from the windowsill to the couch to scoop Damian into his arms.

The only one of them who could have done it and survived. Damian glowered up at him too, then folded his arms and scowled at the floor.

Dire retributions would surely be incoming.

“Hey, it’s cool,” Danny caused, grinning along with the others now that the tension had broken. “He just wanted to know I’m not gonna hurt Jason, right?”

All eyes turned back to Damian, who squinted suspiciously at Danny again. Jason was ready for the flare of protectiveness this time.

Danny was fine. He could handle the demon brat, even if Dick didn’t have him in hand already.

Jason didn’t want to hurt his brother.

Which caused a different, confusing flare of protectiveness because what he needed to protect Damian from was himself, and the self same flares.

He stifled a chuckle that would probably only make things worse.

Finally Damian huffed, turning away into Dick’s arms.

“Tt. Ridiculous. I only wished to be sure you spoke the truth,” he snapped, and the room resettled.

Danny raised both hands, grinning, and Cass shuffled to rest her ear over Jason’s heart.

“Okay?” She asked softly, moving her feet from his pressure points. Jason brought his other arm up and around her, squeezing gently.

“Yeah, I’m good. Thanks,” he replied just as quietly, resting his cheek in her hair.

“Well, this does also kinda simplify things,” Danny added with a chuckle, leaning back against the couch. “I can just tell all of you; Vlad’s also been ecto…. Pit contaminated. And we can sense each other, so he’s going to know Jason is too.”

That geared the bats back up, all turning back to stare at Danny. Who grinned utterly wickedly.

“So Vladdie gets to be on the rare and extremely valued double fuckery list.”

“Is he gonna try and do anything to Jason?” Steph asked sharply, posture tensing towards the door like it might open at any second.

Tucker shrugged, moving back to lean against the couch next to Danny’s legs. He’d wisely made himself scarce when there was a chance either halfa would make a break for it.

“Like Danny said, Vlad probably won’t try anything if he knows we’re around? He can’t do his mind control on Danny so he’s gotta keep it in his pants, even if he’d rather not.”

Sam brightened, catching on to where the boys were going.

“But because Vlad is like… Obsessed with Danny for being like him, there’s a chance he’ll wanna try and adopt Jason too,” she said slowly, her smile becoming full and wicked.

“And since we’re already planning to have me and Jason caught in some indelicate way to upset the Mansons,” Danny added, utterly self satisfied, “we can fry his brain thinking he can only adopt one of us.”

“And that’s after we make him play Find The Real Danny,” Tucker jumped in, grinning broadly, “because it’s not specific enough to track a single person in a busy room. Do you guys do accents?”

Tim and Dick exchanged glances and shrugged.

“Yours wouldn’t be hard,” Tim pointed out, a smirk pulling across his own face as he nodded to Danny.

“I’d like to know why we’re also fucking with the Mansons though?” Dick asked, raising an eyebrow at Sam. Who shrugged.

“They refused to let me bring my girlfriend as a plus one. So we’re gonna ruin me for men and make them think twice next time.”

“Wait, so you’re not dating Danny?” Steph asked, proving she had been hovering during their little meet and greet.

None of the Amity Parkers seemed surprised. Not by her listening in, anyway.

Danny flushed cherry red, Tucker burst out laughing, and Sam smirked.

“Not since high school,” she said casually. Danny groped around for a throwable pillow but came up short.

For some reason, Jason felt absolutely no need to protect his king from some righteous bullying. Another fun loophole.

Must be the lack of potential stabbing.

Dick grinned suddenly, now leaning on the other arm of the couch from Tim.

“Okay, but we definitely don’t tell this part to Bruce,” he said eagerly, beckoning all the others closer. “If Jason’s job is to flirt with Sam and defile Danny, we were also here to meet Danny as Jason’s friend.”

“Let Bruce think Danny’s leading you both on!” Steph finished, clapping her hands and cackling. “Oh it’s perfect!”

Sam cackled along with her, turning a much warmer smile on the other girl.

“Oh, my parents would love to trash talk Danny to him too, they’ve probably already hurried off to let him know I’m “eligible”,” she agreed with the most sarcastic air quotes Jason had ever seen.

Steph lurched immediately to her feet.

“We’re gonna miss it! Okay, so our first task is to make sure Vlad knows Danny is here, right? So he knows not to try anything on Bruce,” she added to confirm, looking between the Amity Parkers.

Danny frowned thoughtfully, touching his lower lip. Jason tried not to focus on it.

“He should know as soon as we get within proximity of each other… so probably once we’re both in the big room?”

Tim nodded, rising along with Steph, the fire of planning in his eyes.

“Sam and Jason need to be seen to be flirting, but Danny doesn’t have to be with them. Dick and I can wander through the crowd, keeping an eye out for Masters but keeping our faces turned away. Cass, can you help with that?”

Cass nodded, sitting straighter and resting her head on Jason’s shoulder instead.

“Yes. Can be Dick’s eyes, signal you both.”

Tim nodded, turning to point to Damian.

“And if you can get as close to Masters as you can, you can signal us too if he gets too close to Bruce or us.”

Damian nodded, all ruffled feathers smoothing as he straightened his suit.

“I shall watch him for any suspicious moves. I can also run interference if he approaches Father.”

Steph nodded happily and clapped her hands, pointing both at Tucker.

“And you can join me in spying on the Mansons and recording them if they talk to Bruce, for the rest of us to enjoy later!” She declared triumphantly.

Tucker shot to his feet, grinning broadly.

“Yeah! And if they catch us we can tell them Jason and Sam are doing something, or ask if they’ve seen Danny,” he agreed, bouncing on his toes. He stuck a hand out in front of him. “Ready?”

Steph slapped her palm down on the back of his hand.

“Ready!”

The room now filled with purpose, everyone came to join Tucker, sticking their hands in in a circle, even as Damian complained about “ridiculous social rituals”.

No one else seemed to mind, tossing their hands into the air as they all whispered “BREAK!”, not wanting to be heard from the hallway.

As the room emptied, Danny hung back, catching Jason’s eye.

“So I know you’re probably not ready to talk about this,” he said softly as Sam lingered in the doorway, her back conspicuously to them, “but I just need to ask you if there was electricity involved when you died.”

Jason felt his whole body tense, less than pleasant memories rushing to the fore. Broken bones. A blade in his leg. Explosion.

No electricity.

He could see the strain on Danny’s face as his mind cleared, and shook his head.

“No. Why?” He asked warily, suddenly very concerned.

Danny made a face that did precisely nothing to lessen it, looking away.

“Because there was when I died, and Vlad knows it. And he… he can control electricity. But you’ll be fine, well, other than the usual “oh no a bad guy is shooting me with electricity”, right?”

Danny was babbling now, clearly trying to distract himself, but all Jason could see was pure, pulsing green. Before he knew he’d moved he had an arm wrapped firmly around slender shoulders, crushing Danny to his chest.

He didn’t need to be told that reminders of a ghost’s death wounds could be debilitating. He’d have known without the data. Without the catch in Danny’s voice.

“If he ever lays a fucking finger on you again I’ll fucking kill him,” he growled, his voice coming out almost as low as his helmet modulator.

Danny stiffened for just a moment in his grasp, then relaxed against him.

“I mean, I can handle myself,” he protested weakly, voice somewhat muffled in Jason’s jacket, “but I’m not gonna fight you on that one, Jay.”

It soothed something inside him, something hot in the center of his chest that burned at just the thought of anyone hurting the man in his arms.

Attacking him. Using the pain and trauma of his death against him. Attacking his king.

A gentle hand soothed up and down his spine.

Safe-protected-I’m okay-safe

It took a minute before Jason could bring himself to let go, smiling sheepishly down at Danny.

“Sorry. Guess I’m… uh, not used to dealing with anything other than rage from the pit,” he explained weakly.

It felt stupid, comparing something as soft as the urge to protect to those bloodthirsty rampages. That didn’t make it any less true.

Danny shrugged, rolling out his shoulders and grinning up at him.

“Hey, like I said. Shoulda seen me when I first changed. Anyway, shall we go make Vlad’s night a living hell?” He asked wickedly, a cheeky smile on his face.

Jason nodded and made for the door, giving Sam a small smile of appreciation. She looked between the two of them and snickered.

“Yeah, rumpling you both up in a closet’s gonna be easy breezy,” she said lazily, pushing the door open again. “You should trade ties.”

Danny’s hand flew to his throat and he chuckled softly, then shook both of his hands out.

“Okay… time to go make sure Vladdie knows I’m around,” he sighed, cracking his neck. Like he was limbering up for a fight?

Jason cocked a brow, taking Sam’s arm.

“What are you gonna do?” He asked as they moved out into the hall, back towards the ballroom.

Danny shot him a quick grin.

“Expand my aura to cover the whole room. He’ll know I’m flexing, and he won’t be able to miss it. Should help confuse him about Tim and Dick too, since the whole place is gonna feel like me,” he added, and Jason grinned.

Alright, that was gonna be a useful trick. Time to see that famous Ghost King aura put to the test.

He wasn’t really expecting to feel a change really. He was close enough that Danny’s aura was still brushing gently over his, soothing the pit that he was right there.

Ready and close if Jason needed to protect him.

And then Danny’s brows furrowed for a moment, he flexed his shoulders back, and Jason was surrounded in pulsing waves of DANNY-DANNY-DANNY.

He didn’t know he’d stumbled until Sam caught him, her hand small on his chest right over the thudding pulse of his heart.

He barely felt it. All he could see, all he could hear, all he could feel was the raw power surging out of the man beside him.

Feeling Frostbite in the Far Frozen had been overwhelming. This… this rewrote the beat of his heart, crawled with his breath into his lungs, curled around every deep and intimate part of himself.

Everything was right in the world. His King was here. The pit fucking sang in his veins.

Aaaand Jason hadn’t been this hard in dress pants since he’d been an excitable teenager who couldn’t help it. Eyes closing, he swayed back against the hallway wall.

He could just barely feel Sam’s hand still on his chest, a grounding point as he sucked in deep breaths. Heard her snicker as the ringing in his ears began to die down.

“You’re getting better at that, Danny,” she noted, and Jason hissed.

This could have been worse? More? How?

And then Danny’s hand was at his shoulder too and he didn’t need to open his eyes to know it. Knew the touch, the feel, the way the pit surged warmth to the spot.

Heard Danny’s soft voice as though it were being broadcast straight into his head.

“Hey, you okay?” He asked quietly, and Jason honestly wasn’t sure.

Think about Bruce’s old underwear commercials. Jane Austen novels. Alfred’s expression if Jason ruined his good pants this fucking early into a party.

Later, maybe, it’d give a flare of authenticity but Danny almost certainly wouldn’t be down.

Danny. There was someone here who wanted to hurt Danny.

Jason’s eyes snapped open and he sucked in another deep breath. It was still redolent of Danny’s aura, still cupping him on every side, but he had a purpose now. A job to do.

He managed a slightly strained smile.

“‘M fine. It’s just a shock.” He cleared his throat, reaching down to tug at the front of his trousers as subtly as he could. “Is, uh… is it always like that?”

Danny looked confused for a moment, still concerned, but it was easier to miss the pulsing beat of his emotions now. Easier to focus.

He’d protect Danny’s feelings too, but he couldn’t do that if he was overwhelmed.

Finally Danny shrugged, glancing out towards the ballroom.

“I wouldn’t know… it doesn’t feel all that different to me. Just like everyone in the room is now inside my personal space,” he added, pulling a face.

Jason stared at him for a long moment, wondering how the hell he was going to ask. If he even wanted to mention the effects it had had - was still having, cleaning guns, Alfred in lace, Vlad was still here.

Nope.

Just. Nope. Not opening that can of worms today.

If Danny didn’t know that just feeling him all around him like that was gonna send Jason to horny jail, Jason was just never gonna tell him. And if Vlad had an even similar reaction, Jason would double kick his ass.

Hauling himself away from the wall, Jason cleared his throat again and fixed his jacket.

“Alright… I’m good. Shall we?” He asked Sam, offering her his arm this time. She gave him a quick up and down, raised a brow, but didn’t comment.

“Sure you are,” she chuckled softly, taking his arm with a reluctant half smile, turning back to Danny. “Are you gonna stick close, or do you wanna recon Vlad?”

Danny considered it for a moment, moving with them as they returned to the hall. Then he shrugged.

“I might go take a peek, but if I see your parents I’ll third wheel back on over. You guys should go mosey,” he added, waving a hand quickly.

Jason nodded, tucking Sam closer, turned back to the room, and… froze. Sam, utterly unaffected, made it a couple steps forward before she noticed and turned back, frowning.

“Hey, what’s up?” She asked in a low whisper, eyes flicking around them.

Good fucking question.

Jason closed his eyes, sucking in a slow breath and trying to work out what had shot down his spine like cold water. Brows furrowed, he tried to will his feet to move.

Took a step backwards and opened his eyes again, frowning back at Sam.

“Alright, I didn’t mean to do that,” he hissed, head turning automatically… to where Danny had taken a couple of steps away.

Green surged below his skin, asking what the fuck he thought he was doing. Abandoning his post. Leaving his king.

There was someone here who’d hurt him, who’d used his fucking death against him, and Jason was gonna what? Not be close enough to break his fingers for thinking it?

Eyes closed for a moment, Jason weighed the odds he could just push this down and keep going. Felt Sam tuck closer. They did have a whole ass plan…

Felt a sudden wash of concern-what’s wrong-protect from the surrounding warmth of Danny.

And sighed, shaking his head, pulling Sam with him after Danny. With each step the green sung, a deep satisfaction not his own rising inside.

He gave Danny a sheepish smile and a shrug.

“I don’t think I can leave you alone. Not if he’s here,” he added a little more quietly, well aware they were being watched once again.

Confusion flashed across Danny’s face for a moment, then he groaned and slapped himself in the forehead.

“Fucking Clockwork… alright, we stick together. Tim and Dick will have plenty of fun with Vlad anyway,” he said, grin slowly spreading again as he tucked himself in to Sam’s other side.

“And we can have more fun with my parents,” Sam pointed out innocently, scanning the crowd around them. Shot them both a sidelong glance each, half smirking. “And I get two lots of cute arm candy.”

Danny and Jason turned automatically to look each other over, Jason’s grin broadening as Danny’s cheeks flushed.

Dick had said he looked a treat in this suit. Must have been right about something.

Suddenly Danny’s aura was all very studious and concentrated nothing to see here.

Jason bit the inside of his lip to keep from laughing, letting his eyes trail a little slower over his king’s frame.

Wherever Danny had gotten his suit from, they knew a thing or two about tailoring. It fit him well, emphasising the lean lines of his legs and torso. Didn’t quite square off his shoulders.

Jason still hadn’t had much practice with projecting his own emotions back, but he had the feeling his… appreciation got through when Danny’s blush darkened.

Grinning down at Sam, Jason patted her hand.

“Only if my code name’s Gummy Bear.”

A startled laugh from Danny was the reaction he’d been going for. Sam’s sudden, utterly wicked smile was a lot more concerning.

“Alright. Danny’s is gonna be Jawbreaker,” she decided, her gaze darting briefly down to Jason’s lips as she smirked.

Jason looked away quickly, his own cheeks uncomfortably warm as Danny choked.

———————

Tag list: @welcometosasakiworld @kyrianclawraith @someonebored0100 @stealingyourbones @starkcravingmad @frostedthroughghost @akikoyuii @rainbowbunny0159 @littlefeather345 @violet-catsarelife @serasvictoria02 @wolfjackle @blacksea21090 @secretdestinywerewolf @anime-hipster-the-amazing @undead-essence @skitscratched @blackroserelina @snoodly-boop @trickerdi @mayoota-blog1 @xysidhe @idkmrpianoman @little-apricot-the-writer @chaoticmistake @the-legal-shipper @bun-fish @aroranorth-west @demon-cat-goes-woof @eonic

[pinkandpurple360]

Blitz and Fizz Talk about “That”

(Edited)

The dialogue writes itself. I physically couldn’t stop writing this, it flowed so naturally. and I used S2E7 dialogue of Fizz about Mammon, past events in the series, and Stolitz stans’ own disgusting SA apologia

Blitz’s phone sounds off with a terrifying ringtone, which is his very own scream of horror: I’m tired of taking this bitch’s calls why doesnt he use his own security.. (he answers and puts on his sexy persona) Stolas, h-hey hot stuff..Ew fuck…what can I do you for..buddy?

Stolas wantonly screaming through blitzos phone: Don’t forget about our little rendezvous my sexy impish plaything~ Oh~~ my darling Blitzy 😩 I cant wait to feel your slimy f*cking imp c*ck in my sl*tty royal cloaca during the full moon tonight, I’ve been so pent up since our first date, I prepared all the lovely bear traps and knives for you to stab me with oh yeeees—-fuuuck—-jelly sandwiches—-

Blitz, holding the phone away from his face in disgust: Ok ok Stolas I fucking get it….(sigh) I mean uh yeah I’ll make you my bitch or whatever the fuck (hangs up while stolas is still masturbating and screaming, completely ignoring him) satan fucking dammit it’s that time already I was hoping he’d get the message.

Fizz, who blitz didn’t know was behind him: Holy shit Blitz that’s how Princey dirty talks to you? You don’t even seem to be into his shit-hell if some freak spoke to me like that-

Blitz, extremely embarrassed and ashamed: Look it’s just…how he is. And listen he’s not my fucking Prince. Like I kept telling you, Stolas is a thirsty bitch who doesn’t give a shit about guys like us, he just wants a lower class impish demon to fuck him so he doesn’t feel lonely. I get to stab and bite the bastard as much as I want cause he can’t get hurt, and he gets..off. Look it’s only a monthly thing I get through it just fine. It’s not something I fuss about. Christ on a stick It’s fine!! Look I need this gig—fizz don’t look at me like that.

Fizz, very confused: I just—Wait what “gig” are you talking about? Aren’t you two a thing..at Ozzies…

Blitz: I was…I just..ok I know this sounds fucked up but I was uh..celebrating the wedding anniversary with my employees alright..uh..without them seeing me-

Fizz, pissed: Ohhh the sappy vanilla ones who hit me over the head with the fuckin lute, hah, the ones you said you’ve “watched pork many times”? Fucking weirdo-

Blitz: Ok point is, I called Stolas and he got me past that prude ass incubitch bouncer who wouldn’t let me in, by scaring the fuck out of him, which was hilarious by the way-and it was all a fake ass date I never wanted.

Fizz: WHAT?? Are you saying threatened Jesse? And you pretend to care about our kind-What the fuck—you let that snotty Prince intimidate my staff, crash the club, and steal someone’s reserved fucking table for a fake date? Can you ever stop being such a piece of shit?

Blitz: The bouncer was a dick!! You’re missing the point! Look--this conversations getting off the fucking rails-I have to fuck this disgusting thirsty rich prick of a guy in any way he likes once a month so that he lets me borrow his fancy ass book and I can get on with my actual job of killing people. I don’t have much of a…I mean I go through with it too..It’s worth the price. The sex is not something I fuss about ok , I just pretend I’m somewhere else. And don’t look at me like that!! I get through it just fine!

Fizz, unnerved: You “get through” it? And you hate him this much? That sounds like…assault dude. You literally have no choice in this if he’s holding your whole job over your head and making do this to get it like you’re doing favours for favours. Lust shouldn’t be about force-

Blitz, defensive: You clowny ass drama queen It’s fucking not “assault!” I’m the one who dominates his ass!! I’m a grown ass man i can make my own decisions!! Like I said I fuck who I want when I want. I’m not going to be tied down to him. And…even if he makes me sick…I-I AGREED TO IT! I CAN LEAVE ANY TIME I WANT TO—IM NOT-HE’S Not..Im not a…fucking victim alright…it’s fine. He ruined his family over it so I at least owe him. Plus I take advantage in my own shitty ways he doesn’t know about.

Fizz, getting upset: Maybe you do, to fucking survive? This guys had everything handed to him like a pampered…ugh…And who cares if you aren’t some noble saint. Or if he gave up his family for a thrust he coerces out of you. It’s not your problem.

You’re a piece of shit yes but in this thing? Fuck no. It’s all him! That guy sounds like a fucking dick! He’s using you for everything because..well…plenty of people have always been actually into you, and he’s a fucking trash fire who can’t even keep his dirty laundry in his own home. He’s a creep and you clearly aren’t even all that attracted to the guy! Your ringtone for him is you screaming in terror!!! This freelance assassin bullshit can’t be worth this!!

Blitz: This job is, Fizz!! I need this gig, without it I’ll lose everything! My home, the independence I’ve finally fucking built, that guys like him never thought I could get. It’s for my daughter, Mox and Mills need me, and I..Ive fucked up enough times already in this department, as you said..my love life is a pile of shit.

Fizz: Look I wouldn’t have said that shit if I knew—

Blitz: I don’t want to be…alone like he is, even if it’s this shitty guy…at least someone wants me, I want someone with me..

Fizz: Right….Kindve like I wanted a father figure?

Blitz trying to force a laugh: come on!! That’s not even close to the same thing. It’s fine. I just, have to do this!

….loooong pause

Blitz: By the way he’s the goetia Prince from years ago that Cash sold me to as his friend for the day cause he liked my jokes, and I had to steal all his shit risking getting fucking killed as a child. he still laughs at my jokes actually it’s uh, I mean he can’t be that bad can he if he laughs—

Fizz:

[punkeropercyjackson]

Jason Todd and Percy Jackson parallels but by someone who actually reads comics and was technically never a Harry P*tter kid so it's accurate

Black hair,green eyes and supernatural white streak combo

Poor and hate rich people even though they ended up gaining a rich dad and refuse to actively associate with him on principal

Said dad's inflicted brutal trauma on them(though to Bruce's credit it was an accident and he genuinely loves Jason while Poseidon's just a deadbeat who refuse to parent Percy to keep us his 'image' because that's 'women's aka Sally's work',grown ass god)so they claim their mom as their only parent and are just huge mama's people in general,which is perfectly understandable even on it's own considering their mom's are fucking TALIA AL-GHUL AND SALLY JACKSON.Who wouldn't?

Respect women,disrespect men

The EXACT SAME sardonic and little shit attitude and created their own type of sense's of humor that can only be described by using their names to be truly accurate

Physical inability to not run their mouths dating way back to when they were little kids,closed off not out of fragile masculinity(I mean Jason's goth and Percy's a transfem egg so?)but as defense mechanisms,have anger issues and merciless tendencies and complex feelings on morality because of heavy life experiences due to being screwed over by the system as minorities(poor,neurodivergent and Percy's transfemininity she won't even let herself admit)and can be scary as shit when they do and don't want to

Punks with the ideals,behavior,lifestyles and interests you'd expect but also super dorky ones on all fronts too

Don't actively pursue romance and the thought of doing so is VERY unppealing to them and they dunk on romance norms like the true punks they are and they DO have good canon ships but sadly none endgame(Jayrose,Jaytemis and Jaydana are banger after banger after BANGER but DC hates Jason so they won't let him enter his malewife era and Perachel was the best ship for Percy but got shafted for the sake of ruining Annabeth)

They refuse to be normal in general because conformity disgusts them but also they just kinda.Can't turn the weirdness off,ever(It's their bptistic swag)

Ethan=Rose.Wasians with an eyepatch because their abusive god(ish)parent took their eye out,gloomy and moody,swords users,were groomed into the villain life as little kids and never considered real love interests for Percy and Jason despite tons of chemistry via bickering flirtatious banter and 'I really do care about you' undertones.Their heritage and unpalpability as victims undoubtedly plays a role in this as Luke and Slade are the easy and accepatable villains to stan as opposed to the oh so horrific and unlovable realistic survivors

Super chaotic and unrestrained

Team Parents because of childhood trauma and they did fumble a bit at first out of lack of experience but now they've got it downpat

Huge love for food that's not good for you(i.e fast/junk/desserts)

Make a big show when they're feeling particularly cocky or want to intimidate and it's real easy for them to thanks to experience and being able to walk the walk for the shit they talk

Claimed by afro-caribbeans and we're right and should say it(Those are monoracial dominican third gen iminigrants ma'am)

Get horndog allegations,are actually demisexual and don't care about white boys or white girls when it comes to attraction(Percy's canon namesake was married to the Princess of Ethopia and Jason hates Roy and barely cares about Tim,please be serious)

Or when it comes to platonic relathionships!!If they're to be a trinity the perfect 3rd is Miles Morales like how Hazel is Nico and Percy's and Jason's Robin and Batgirl are Duke and Stephanie and he wouldn't have it any other way

There's a significant difference that makes them all the more interesting together though-Jason's story is a selfmade tragedy where he choose hurt and darkness and even evil again and again for a long ass time until his redemption arc that he actually worked for and Percy's is that she's NEVER done anything wrong in her entire fucking life,she DIDN'T mean to hurt anyone,she WAS a good,good kid and she grew up to be an even better adult who's good at so many good things and good to so many people.Jason is Percy's legit foil and deserves that title more than any fascistic misogynist character does

They're the son of no one and the daughter of Poseidon and Sally Jackson.Them(and the 1610 Spiderman)are my characters ever

[nightwolf14292]

Batfam Headcanons/Imagines/Rambles While I Eat

I like to imagine that when Bruce is out with Jason (or any of the kids tbh, I'm just thinking about Jason lol), he turns into my grandpa. In that he starts talking about the most random things from when he was younger.

Or like:

Just tells him random shit, and the most boring stuff he missed while he was dead like what businesses opened and closed. Then out of nowhere he hits him with something like "When I got into a car accident when I was younger-"

Bruce, parked in the grocery store parking lot: "Oh! Wait, look at these." *Reaches into his car's back seat and pulls out two mini propane tanks* "I just got these for 20$ a piece, and guess what? They're refillable. Most propane tanks I've seen aren't like that-" *Goes into a little ramble about mini gas stoves and cooking while the powers out*

Jason: *Awkwardly sitting in the passenger seat nodding along, but tbh he's actually sorta interested in the ramble*

Also, Bruce is totally an apocalypse dad, right? Like he buys ridiculous amounts of canned food and survival guides and tents and fire starters that he'll never use. This also applies to expensive stuff of course, cause he's a rich boi

Alfred: "Master Bruce, why exactly is there a boat in the Batcave?"

Bruce: "..It's the Bat-Boat. I thought it would help on aquatic missions."

*Literally never uses it ever, but refuses to let the kids use it either*

I'm all in for southern accent Bruce and wacky accent Dick, however I also propose:

•Jason who still has a Gotham street accent. Whenever he meets one of the street kids (Especially the older ones that have been out there for a while) and they have that thick street accent, he wants to pinch their cheeks. While some of the 'higher class' Gotham citizens might think of the accents as representing stupidity or filth, Jason adores the accent with his whole heart.

•Damian who mimics people he likes. We know that Damian can very accurately mimic peoples voices, but imagine if he likes being around someone he subconsciously starts to talk in their voice. It's a little creepy to people at first, hearing their voice (which depending on the person he's talking to is like, a deep, gruff, adult man voice lol) come out of this 13-14 year old kid, but you get used to it.

Damian, after talking to Jon for a few minutes: "So I wuz walkin' into tha trainin' room, and thare Tim wuz! Usin' MY katana! Can you believe that horseshit?! Absolutely ridiculus. How dare he! I wuz gonna knock sum semse inta him, but then faather came in and made me stop.."

Jon, a little concerned at Damian's lack of formal words and the way that they suddenly sound so similar, but kinda finding it cute: "Yeah, how dare he.."

(Jon has a southern accent, right? Cause he lives on a farm with Clark?)

Damian's favorite cartoon is the Wild Kratts, and Dick makes him watch Bluey because he feels like it helps Damian get out of the whole 'assassin' mindset and more into the 'child' mindset.

Also Tim never stopped the stalking, he still watches security footage and follows around people he likes. Bernard just got used to him suddenly popping up wherever he went-

Anyway I'm gonna stop rambling now lol

[shinakazami1]

BL3: Moxxi's Heist of the Handsome Jackpot - notes on Timothy + theories

Ok this is more of me just trying to take notes on his character for some future projects in one place ohisafiosfa

1) Timothy's behaviour and appearance

a) Introducing with his name

In Pre-Sequel, Timothy is established to have a face bomb that prevents him from saying his name. When he gets to Roland, he also says his name rhymes with Jimothy.

But in BL3, he just... introduces himself?

"But my name is just Timothy."

During the DLC, he mentions that his face-bomb stops him from escaping the casino. My best bet is that the face bomb got reprogrammed and can have a limited amount of conditions that might cause it to blow up.

b) Injected with Jack's DNA...or is he

Timothy is the reason why we believe the body doubles (or at least Tim) has Jack's DNA in them, causing them to talk like him.

"Follow this fine ass! Uh, god."

But as we see the body double in BL2, some get voice lines to say to seem Jack. (BTW I really love @kolbasos ' headcanon that Timothy is the only doppelganger that got plastic surgery).

To me, Timothy was onlymade to believe that DNA thing (as DNA shouldn't have behavioral traits in them), just like he was made to believe he was branded with the Vault mark (headcanon taken from @kitkat578 ).

Kit noticed that if Timothy had the same Vault mark as Jack, we would see it through the crack in the mask. Yet it's just not there!! Not a single blue tint anywhere on that skin!

Like, even Customer 1345 has some more resembling of that mark than him. The marks could possibly be just afterdoing when people find out Jack is dead and thus the guy just got the marks which even more makes it weird that we can't see Timothy's mark.

It is plausible that the amnestic anaesthetic mentioned in Pre Sequel tapes is a bit of a key. Timothy might not remember every single operation well enough or might have memories scrapped, so he just has some lies surrounding those moments.

Vault Mark seems like something Jack wouldn't want people to know about - that's why he has the mask, duh. But Timothy knows about it anyway. It's possible that he had some surgery to get the mask hinges on him, and was told he also got the mark just so he would resent Lilith and everybody connected to her.

With the DNA part - I think it's supposed to serve as motivation. Timothy was shit at acting as Jack in Pre-Sequel. Most people knew he wasn't Jack, he even introduced himself as not-Jack, during Space Slam and most people refer to him as Vault Hunter. It's really rare for him to act as the dude he is paid to act as. I think this lie was either told to him or he made it up, as he started at some point to say and think like Jack more. Even if he hates it, giving himself an excuse for it could help him get more and more into the role, or he would talk way more often like Jack.

c) Swearing

A thing that seems to be very silly about Borderlands series is its relationship with cursing. Handsome Jack is a great example of it- he doesn't like some curses. It's why Angel seems to hlt herself sometimes before cursing. Mr. Torgue has a censor wired to his voicebox due to the shareholders so, maybe Jack wants to keep those happy, too.

Timothy seems to be weirded out to being able to say "asshole" instead of a-hole, when referring to Pretty Boy. It's possibly either a voice modulator censorship or another face bomb thing that just like his name, got reprogrammed to only not letting him out.

He gets so happy he says it two times in a row foahissioa (also off top but his planning skills seem to match Rhys' <3)

2) Moxxi

a) Moxxi seems not to trust Timothy. It may be just due to him working for Handsome Jack for so many years. If there is some other reason though, feel free to tell me :0c

b) Date

Timothy mentions that when Jack got "mega-rich", Jack wanted to win Moxxi back, so Timothy went on a date with her. The issue I have with it, however, is when this date could have taken place.

In Pre-Sequel, when we meet Moxxi for the first time, Timothy says this:

"Holy shi-- hi! I'm uh -- Jack. Obviously. And I need your help. Are you SURE we're not dating? -- Wow!"

Due to his reaction, it feels as if this was really their first meeting. But there are only points in the story where the date could have canonically taken place:

Before Pre-Sequel (I think already after wife's death due to Jack's possible bad behaviour in the break up):

For: - Jack had just gotten rich enough to try to get Moxxi back. - Timothy's reaction can be like this due to just the outfit. Moxxi went on the date just due to hunger so she could have dressed more casually (just like in her garage outfit). - Timothy also at one point asks her to marry him. Iif they already had this date, it would also be an aftereffect to knowing each other better.

Against: - This dialogue really feels like their first meeting. - Timothy seems so focused on getting that second date in-game that it feels like it was their last meeting. But it's not a strong point, since it might just be him wanting to get a second date, who knows.

Before BL2:

For: - Jack got even richer. - They already knew each other so she would know that the body double she is spending time with is Timothy. - This moment could potentially strengthen his crush on her after she tried to destroy Jack in Pre-Sequel, esp since this would mean Timothy also would have died

Against: - Jack doesn't seem like a guy who would want a relationship with someone who tried to kill him ohsoai and he was already getting with Nisha - Jack has a part in the casino called "Foxxxi's" - which shows just how much he dislikes her.

While before Pre-Sequel makes sense, both options are plausible.

[tallochar]

Inspired, in part, by this post by @mzminola but also something I've been ruminating on for a couple of years now.

Talking about pre New52 canon here mostly, though opinions about New52 or post Rebirth canon are also welcome to be added on, just specify it so we don't talk at cross purposes?

One of the thing that messes with me as an adult thinking back on comics is that you simply cannot put Alfred as the single member of staff who is dealing with all of the Manor.

I mean you can, comic logic, Alfred Is Not Of This World, whatever you want personally want.

Me personally, I cannot.

I need Harold to be down in the Batcave dealing with that part of the property until he dies in the 2000s at the very least, but also, consider how many hours there are in each day and how much Alfred has to do and how he's always serving dinner in time and laundry is done and everything is restocked and yet he also has the time to be personally chaffeuring the members of the family around and someone is also going to be having to deal with the household expenses and count balancing and -- and --

Like all of that PLUS keeping up with the superhero stuff PLUS cooking what sometimes are LAVISH spreads (WHICH TAKES TIME! PREP WORK TAKES TIME! COOKING TAKES TIME! ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE ONE PERSON AND ALSO HAVE TO GO PICK THESE PEOPLE UP AND MAKE SURE THEY HAVE THEIR LAUNDRY DONE AND THE GARDEN IS NOT OVERGROWN AND THE HOUSE IS CLEAN AND -- AUGH)

I cannot just accept that Alfred is doing it all, on his own, with the occasional WE-affiliated-and-vetted company called in to deal with, say, catering for a big event or whatever.

Especially not if Bruce is young and Alfred's supposed to be raising him, like oh god no, which is why the idea @mzminola talked about in their post (Bruce raised by his relatives) has taken root in my brain and is now my own personal very much cherished headcanon and a source of plenty of excuses for Bruce but also varied and eclectic skills and connections.

But okay, let's say that Alfred got left in charge of just managing things for Bruce until Bruce is of age and can take over things himself (in theory, in practice Bruce definitely pushes all he doesn't want to deal with about the house on Alfred and all he doesn't want to deal with about the company on Lucius Fox and sets up a contingency to get Tim to deal with shit for Bruce if Bruce were to be unavailable / unsteady / acting sus), while Bruce is being passed around from relative to relative.

There's still the staff that the Manor had before the death of Thomas and Martha to deal with. Gotta downsize that but you cannot just boot everyone and close shop.

I mean, yeah you can, but also, some of those people were probably there for a long time and Alfred wasn't just going to throw them out.

The way things work out in my brain is if Alfred is the "face" of the staff and the only one who, usually, interacts directly with The Family, while the others are in the background minding their own business, asking no questions at all.

They probably lost some people in NML during the Manor collapse, and the staff had to go through the harrowing process of getting new people that they didn't know nor trust in and then do their own version of vetting and making sure there was nothing hinky about any of them and that they understood the importance of the privacy of their employers, etc. etc.

Some of them must have retired at some point or moved on and were let go with more than fair compensantion and retirement packages and some stuff actually got outsourced a bit as technology progressed and things changed.

Especially after NML, actually.

Alfred is not going to hire someone just to come by to do all of the laundry, but he might have a trustworthy laundry service that is Bristol-based and is used to dealing with Rich People without asking questions.

And I am not say that they have to be In The Know life Alfred and Harold.

Actually, I prefer the idea that they aren't and that they just have this cushy job and loyalty to the Waynes and are all well compensated for being quiet and dealing with stuff on their own.

Sure, Alfred deals with the supernatural side of things, absolutely, and I am sure he has state of art machinery for, say, dealing with the costumes after patrol, but the Manor is huge and the upkeed is time consuming and exhausting and Alfred is too busy to do everything on his own.

So basically what I am saying is:

I have a might need for Alfred and his skeleton crew of long-time, trusted employees who keep the Manor running and stay out of the way of the bosses and everyone lives better like that.

I need Alfred's list of Trusted People who can deal with the family's laundry without messing it up and come do repairs when they are needed Upstairs since Harold won't leave the cave.

Give me Bruce's different childrens' different relationship's with said skeleton crew and Bruce's own distant relationship with them too and their reactions to things.

Allow me to have the skeleton crew sticking around and keeping the Manor up and running whenever Alfred is off around the world with Bruce for recovery / training / support purposes or who are still there and keeping things going when Alfred is too busy feuding with Bruce to look after everything else.

[c-nstantine]

Can I request the Bruce’s reaction to black batmom struggling with her hair upset about how her braids came out and told Bruce out of frustration “but I don’t wanna be black,I wanna be white/Latina” then leaves the house for a couple hours knowing batlids heard it from outside hers and Bruce’s room? And this shocks them because batmom is so confident?

Also I love your work!

@chassidychanel Thank you so much for requesting this. I really enjoyed writing it!

Word Count:0.6k

"I think you look great, sweetheart," Bruce said trying to reassure his wife. He had rarely seen her so distraught over her looks.

"Oh. 'Cause my parts are crooked, I'm running out of hair, the edge control is turning white, and my arms burn," Y/N practically whined. She was trying to do her own hair which normally didn't have these problems.

"This is all fixable," Bruce said placing a hand on her shoulder. Y/N cut her eye to him and he retracted his hand.

"Not by the Gala tonight. My hair can't look like this," Y/N said gesturing to herself in the mirror. Her eyes were turning puffy out of frustration and she was pretty sure there were at least three stress pimples on her forehead.

"I'm sure it's going to turn out great," Bruce said as stood next to his wife in their shared bathroom. There were various strands of braiding hair, at least three different types of gel, and four different rattail combs laid on top of their counter space. Bruce would offer to help but he didn't know the first thing about doing her hair. That he didn't try to learn while they were dating or even after they were married, he was just so heavy-handed that Y/N refused to let him help.

"Bruce, you don't get it. If I look bad, those rich white people will use it as an excuse to say 'Look at the ghetto black girl Bruce married,' or 'He could've gotten someone better' and maybe they're right," Y/N's voice was choked back a little by tears.

"What are you talking about?" Bruce noticed how distressed his wife was.

"I wouldn't have to go through this if I was white. You wouldn't have the validity of our marriage questioned every time we go out together. I wouldn't have to worry about being seen as inferior because of the hair that grows out of my head." Y/N cried into Bruce's shoulder. She was fairly sure there was a good bit of snot on his Yves Saint Laurent suit jacket.

"It's going to be okay, baby," He said as he rubbed her back in small and soothing circles.

-

"And that's what I heard mom say to Bruce," Dick said to his siblings that he rounded up.

"Really? That doesn't sound like her," Tim was concerned for his adoptive mother. She was the one who always made him feel confident in any decision that he made. So to see her so distraught felt wrong.

"I mean it kinda makes sense. Think about it, Mama Wayne has had to deal with years of shit just because she's married Bruce and that's outside of the Batman stuff," Duke realized. He even noticed the various magazines that would attempt to tear Y/N apart.

"So, how do we help her?" Cass asked looking between her older brothers. Y/N was the last person who deserved to feel this way in Cass's opinion.

"I have an idea," Jason smirked.

- "Ma, we cleared your schedule," Jason said as he opened the library's door. Y/N was reading one of her favorite novels and looked at her son with confusion.

"What are talking about?" Y/N asked as she noticed all of her kids filing into the library. Lastly, Alfred and Bruce came in with a projector and a cart full of snacks.

"We're gonna have a movie night," Damian said as he claimed his spot next to Y/N. He practically kicked Bruce out of the way but felt no shame nor regret about it.

"Thank you, kiddos," Y/N's eyes brimmed with tears of joy. She kissed the head of each of her children.