#like Dick is to him

[flamingpudding]

Fictober23 Prompt: 26 - "Honestly, why would I care?"

Fandom: DPxDC

Rating: G

Warnings: -

A/N: A quick short one, inspired by a TikTok video I saw. Also as always... I am impatient in posting it.

"You're not my dad, yet."

"Get out of the spaceship. I am your dad, Phantom."

"You're not my dad."

"I am your Dad. The papers are already submitted! Get out of the spaceship."

"I am in a spaceship and you're not."

"I will literally drag you out of the damned space ship."

"No! I'm literally in a spaceship, you're not. You are not my dad."

"Literally get out of the spaceship. It's rude to others!"

"Tell me it's rude, I don't give a fuck!"

The bat kids exchanged amused glances. Red Robin and Spoiler had their phones out filming the entire situation. Red Hood was already downed, laughing to the point that his gut started hurting. Nightwing tried to be polite and not laugh but his shoulders were shaking. It was only a matter of time before he would break two. Black Bat was also shaking in silent laughter while Signal watched on, torn between horror, amusement and worry. Robin had his arms crossed watching stoically but for some reasons was sporting a proud smirk.

"Shouldn't you kids try to help Batman?" Superman next to them carefully asked his eyes going back and forth between Batman's kids and the ongoing situation before them.

"And ruin Phantom's mood? Do you have any idea how hard it was to even make him leave the lab? This is the first time in days that I am seeing him smile. Do not ruin his good mood." Robin countered, giving the hero a quick glare before eyes turning back to his father and phantom still arguing.

"Besides, this is the first time we get to see B arguing with a little kid like this. None of us managed to drive him to that point yet." Nightwing added grinning.

"How long has it been since B had submitted the adoption papers?" Red Robin asked, looking at them over his shoulder, his handy camera focused on the phantom who now had started to stick his tongue out and blow raspberries at Batman as an argument point.

"Two days." Signal answered easily, finally deciding to be just amused with the situation.

"Phantom! Get out now!"

"Over my already dead body!"

"And how long since B had actually slept?" Spoiler questioned next in between giggles.

"He's been working on Phantom's case without sleep for four days now." Nightwing grinned. "I will add Phantom claiming a spaceship to the methods on how to get B of the Batcomputer."

"Will you at least do something? You're the one that usually mainly uses it!" Superman turned towards Martian Manhunter only for the other hero to shrug.

"Honestly, why would I care? As Robin said, Phantom appears to enjoy his time quite a lot. And considering what he had gone through, who would I be to ruin it for such a young hero?"

"Phantom!"

"NO!"

"We gotta send this to Agent A later!" Jason gasped between his laughter. Nightwing's phone pinged with a message from Oracle and the eldest Bat kid showed it to the others with a bright grin.

"Already done. O is giving him a live feat of this on the Batcomputer."

[mysterycitrus]

"[blank] is the best robin" please be serious

[clarisse-doodles]

inspired by this post, in which Damian does not know what Vine is

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Instead of Dick or Tim, Red Hood straight up goes for kidnapping Bruce Wayne and keeping him hostage just to see how desperate the birds get in trying to find him.

It’s a foolproof plan. Batman won’t blow his cover unless absolutely necessary, and “Brucie” would never know how to slip away from a crime lord of Red Hood’s caliber. It’s foolproof. It’s perfect. Jason can keep dropping hints and make threats towards the birds and watch Bruce squirm without consequences if he plays this right.

But then “Brucie” keeps begging him not to hurt his kids…

[redsray]

I love the hc that Tim never really stopped taking pictures of heroes and vigilantes even after he became Robin. Not even out of hero worship or anything-- he just found it fun. In fact, being Robin just made this hobby easier to do. He has them separated in folders and definitely has blackmail photos included.

The first time Tim met the Justice League one of his first reactions was to sneakily take at least one picture of each of them. Clark vaguely heard a camera shutter but he could never find any cameras or camera owners.

Sometimes Bruce comes to him and asks for specific pictures of members of the JL doing things they shouldn't be doing i.e Barry ditching a meeting cause he was eating Chipotle in the Watchtower kitchen. No one knows how Bruce gets the pictures except for the other Batfam members.

Tim is the god of blackmail right behind Babs. You need older blackmail or videos? Go to Babs. But Good quality blackmail photos? Tim is your guy.

He has at least 4 folders full of pictures of Dick specifically. One for his time as Robin, one for Nightwing, one for Discowing and one for just Dick.

He also manages to have pictures he definitely should not have because how did you get into the cave before you were Robin, Tim, but he refuses to elaborate on those. i.e Robin Jason out of costume, cozily reading at the batcomputer ("seriously, Tim, that's creepy"), Dick when he first adopted Haley ("were you there when I rescued her?!"), Damian training with the League of Assassins ("how the hell did you get that"), Duke back during the We Are Robin movement ("I do not remember you pulling out any cameras what the hell")

[arttuff]

i wanted to draw batman's fresh as fuck look, but robin totally stole the show.

this post is about him now

[lustwithoutlore]

Stephanie: Congratulations! You have won a lifetime supply of lemons!

Black Mask: You only gave me one lemon

Stephanie, pulling out a gun: yep

[evasive-anon]

Tim is out here fighting to hold this family together and fix Bruce’s mental health. Gotta respect the hustle of trying to accomplish not one but two completely impossible tasks.

[audhd-nightwing]

jason, coming back from the dead and seeing tim as robin: how could bruce replace me? how could he give robin to someone else?

dick, who created robin in honor of his dead parents and then had bruce take it away and give it to jason without even asking him:

[lovelylonelymoonlight]

I think we need to make dick a lil more unhinged like

Tim says bye to kon perfectly straight faced and devoid of emotion and Dick starts teasing him about his obvious crush

And then another titan is like, huh??

“his heart beat picked up by two additional beats cmon now”

[bet-on-me-13]

The Bat-Adoption Papers are literal Magic Contracts

So! In the Deified Batman AU (the AU where the Belief of the peoples of Gotham accidentally Ascended Batman to minor godhood), the Bat Adoption Papers would be a fun concept.

Batman is a God of The Night, Fear, and Protection. Specifically, the protection of Children, which is one of his biggest motivators. Meaning, it's a big part of his Divine Domain.

So when he, a God of Protection and Children, adopts his own Child? It's kind of a big deal.

His Adoption Papers basically become Magical Contracts that claim Dick to him as his own Son, basically turning Dick into a Demigod by the fact that he is the Son of a God.

Then each time Batman adopts a kid, they become a Demigod as well. Maybe after enough time, and after they forge their own Identities, they could become Minor Gods of their own? Idk, fun idea

Why do I bring this up?

Well, when Danny eventually joins the JLA, and runs into Batman, all he sees in a God of the Night, who takes one look at him, and then pulls out a Magical Binding Contract from his Belt.

Needless to say, he books it.

[catmanbowser]

AGH DICKS

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Tim is the first to find out the Red Hood’s identity and from then on sticks to Jason during patrol like glue (much to Jason’s chagrin, dammit, it would feel wrong to beat up Robin when he’s that starry eyed…)

Cue: PANIC from the rest of the Batfamily, who still think Hood is a forty-something year old crime lord and now assume they’re dating.

[daydreamerwonderkid]

Ngl, I do love me a feral/enraged Dick Grayson <3

Credit to @honeysgalaxy for providing photos of the new panels

[hailsatanacab]

A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

[ghostbsuter]

There was a teen in the cave.

A teen no one knows and looks like he could be a wayne, stands in the cave.

"Actually, I'm a wayne." He says with a shrug.

Bruce, Batman, carefully thinks of the implication.

"Not yet," The teen, Danny, doesn't say anything. Simple smiles. "You're not a wayne, yet. You will be. But not yet."

Then Bruce sighs, dropping the batman mask in order to take in the teen.

"Does future me know of the time travel?"

Dannys smile grows into a grin, deciding to take pity on the man. "You, grandbat, have..." He makes a vague gesture. "Theories, which none of your children ever confirmed."

The bat's mind short-circuits at the choice of words

Dick is sputtering incomprehensibly, there are Baffled expression all around.

Because.

Because that child isn't Bruce's, but one of theirs.

"Who is it?" Jason demands, hand clenching his gun uselessly.

Danny continues to smile, a hint of mischief now peeking out.

The cave is filled with theories, some yell, some sob, yet all eyes leave danny.

All but one pair.

She had known the moment his body language switched just enough for her to read.

She had known the moment he disappeared before the clan.

Had known when his hand found hers, shoulders bumping.

Her heart clenches, throat dry and memories of her childhood flooding to mind.

So she asks, voice soft and hesitant.

"Am I a good mother?"

And danny looks up at cass, adoration and pride laid out plain for her to see and accept.

"You're the best."

And so they both watch the clan together, silent and comfortable.

(Cass doesn't question when she finds him, how and why. All she knows is that she's more attentive when out on patrol, looking and waiting.)

(This is how Cassandra Cain-Wayne returns one night from patrol, a child, barely out of toddler stage and clinging to her form.)

(This is how the Batclan officially meets one Daniel James Cain-Wayne, freshly washed and clothed, a cookie in hand and hiding shyly behind Cass.)

(When they meet, all they say is "Welcome home, danny," and "Good to see you again.", Danny doesn't necessarily get it, but that's okay. Maybe his new mom will explain it one day when he's bigger.)