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class1akids · 11 months ago

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New Horikoshi interview from Da Vinci Magazine

Some rough TL under the cut

A long interview with Kohei Horikoshi (Da Vinci Magazine, August 2024) - snippets (using google translate)

It has been 10 years since the series started in 2014. The weekly manga serialized in WSJ reached the milestone of 40 volumes. Volume 41 is scheduled to be released on August 2nd.

About the “best hero”

When I looked back on the path that I have taken so far, at the end of the first episode, the main character, the young boy Midoriya, said, ``This is the story of how I became the best hero.' I really feel that letting him talk was a decisive move. If "strongest" is determined by a numerical value, "best" is determined by something that cannot be quantified. ``I thought it would be a series that explores what ``the best'' is.''

``In the early stages, I tentatively envisioned the best hero as one who can save people with a smile, but I think that will probably change. This is not a hero manga, but a story about people aiming to become heroes. It's a story about how a group of young boys arrive at the ultimate hero, a vague idea for which they still don't know the answer.

In a volume extra, you revealed that the main character's nickname Deku is borrowed from Kenji Miyazawa's poem ``Ame Nimo Makezu” / Be not Defeated by the Rain

In college, I was reading the poems of Kenji Miyazawa because it was cool. When drawing “Heroaka” I felt that I couldn't move forward unless I solidified my own image of the hero. As I was reading books by great historical figures and looking back on things I had seen and heard in the past, I came across something amazing that Kenji Miyazawa said in ``Ame-nimo-makezu.'' [The quote the poem] That’s what I remembered.”

When drawing the final act and thinking about where this manga will end up, I realized that the world can change a lot if you just take a moment to consider the people next to you. As we were trying to bring the story to that point, Ochako and her friends from Class A realized that there was no way they would leave Deku alone, so that's how they created the story.''

The Rooftop Speech was originally a karaoke scene:

``In that scene, Ochako shouts from above the UA Rooftop to encourage Deku.”

I used an idea that I had at the beginning of the series, but ultimately discarded.

When Deku enters UA High School, he is the only one who doesn’t do well in class. He’s feeling down about not being able to do it. The students all talked about having a social gathering and ended up going to karaoke after school.

Okay. Everyone sings together after introducing themselves, but Deku is depressed and sits alone in a corner. Ochako is next to him. When it was her turn to sing, it is Miyuki Nakajima's ``Fight!” This is a song that gets exciting after the chorus hits.

When Deku was about to leave, she turned towards Deku as she sang the chorus, as if she was encouraging him. It's like cheering someone up by singing.

At that time, I felt like it wasn't the right time to do a scene like that, but I kept thinking that I wanted to do it, and that ultimately led to the scene where she gave the speech on the rooftop

When I watch anime, I feel like I can't lose.

[They talk about the 2015 Horikoshi – Kishimoto interview]

Having an anime is an indicator of success, isn't it? I remember being surprised at how quickly I reached that goal. When I was told that there would be a movie, I couldn't believe it. The movie adaptation of the “Jump” anime is “DRAGON BALL” or “ONE PIECE”. Only the flagship works.

In addition to the joy of meeting new readers who picked up manga because of the anime, the existence of anime also stimulated Horikoshi.

The anime and the manga try to compete with each other. To take on the challenge of providing the kind of power that can only be obtained from manga, something that can never be obtained from anime - If I did that, I would end up spending a lot of time writing names and drawing things, and things would become more and more difficult.

At the same time, he began to feel pressure from the expectations of those around him.

It's a stupid story about feeling so much pressure that you feel like you're going to collapse.

How did you overcome that?

Mr. Monji, the editor in charge at the time, said, ``It's okay.'' That's what he kept telling me. That was a huge relief. As I continued to draw while thinking that it was painful, once I was able to draw a story that made perfect sense to me, I started to think that everything was okay. I realized that it would be easier for me if I didn't worry about popularity and just made the manga interesting, and I feel like I was able to draw it more easily from there.''

About Movie 4: You’re Next: This time too, it is a movie that would get anyone excited.

In the series, the final stage of the final battle is being depicted at the time of the interview. When the 4th movie will be released on August 2nd, there will already be a strong hint of the final episode.

As with previous works, Horikoshi serves as the general supervisor and character designer for the movie.

What made me happy was that Kuroda-san (screenplay) said in an interview, ``We have to value Deku's sense of being a student.'' It’s the same vision as mine.

[... He talks about the 3rd movie and how his confidence in the anime staff solidified]

The 4th movie also incorporates many of your ideas. For example as regards the original villain in the movie version, All Might's fake "Dark Might". In fact, once the gist of the story was almost finalized, Horikoshi felt that the villain needed some ingenuity, so he suggested Dark Might.

That’s right. At work, I casually proposed something like this. However, now that I think about it, among the various plot ideas that Kuroda-san came up with, there was one called ``Black All Might.'' There was a story behind it. I think that's what I had in mind. Also, I added flowers and other stylish elements to the visuals.” I feel good this time. I think we also talked about how it would be more interesting if we changed the color.''

Regarding Dark Might's existence and ``quirk''

Although this theatrical version is a bigger spectacle than ever before, it also delicately depicts the preciousness of different "quirks" and "personalities" coming together, and the closeness of small hearts.

If we can express something like fraternity in a broad sense through the original characters of the movie, the movie will be different from what we've seen before, and we'll probably be able to see what Deku and his friends in the manga will be like in the future.''

The 4th movie is the final installment of the series.

The story was written precisely because of this timing.

``The movie is designed in such a way that you can understand it even if you haven't read the original work or followed the anime series. Even if you just go to the movie theater without any prior information, you'll be like, wow, that's interesting.

You should be able to think of it. This time too, everyone will be excited

I think it's a movie that will make you feel good.

Don't let your guard down until the end, but enjoy it until the end

As we approach the end of the series, what will happen to the series? What is the story you are trying to portray in the final battle of the final chapter?

``I think what we're doing in the final battle is peeling off the labels and attributes that the characters have cultivated. We're peeling off all the things that this aloof hero wears. By stripping away the things that the diabolical villain wears, I find that there are parts of him that I can empathize with as a human being. I'm going to look for it to see if it exists.

“Fun” includes the fun of interacting with readers through manga.

Sometimes we think of others as beings who stand at a height we cannot reach, or as beings who live in another world where we cannot communicate with them. However, if you realize that they are also human beings and neighbors living in the same society, you can get closer to them.

“Even though it seems like we're talking about a really big story, we might actually be telling a really small story.''

The series will soon reach its final episode.

“This work is my third serialized work. However, since the previous two series didn't go well, I thought it would be the end if the next one failed.

I thought this was my last chance to draw in Jump. Since it was my last time, my first priority was drawing a manga that I would enjoy. Fortunately, I am still able to enjoy drawing even now.

The reason I feel this way is because I haven't been able to write a weekly series properly, the number of pages has been reduced, and I've had a lot of time off.”

However, unlike when I started the series, I am no longer enjoying it on my own.

“When I first started, I just wanted to have fun.

However, if you can tell an interesting story, readers will respond better. The numbers in the reader survey skyrocketed, and I cried when I received the fan mail. When I get feedback like this, I wonder if I was able to provide a good manga experience, and I started having fun imagining what I could do to give them an even better manga experience.

Nowadays, “fun'” includes the fun of interacting with readers through manga. I was able to get to the point where I felt like I could land properly, even though I was a bit torn up.

“I want to enjoy drawing until the end. I am.”

(May 2, 2024, somewhere in Tokyo)

#horikoshi intervew #bnha

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lunerna21 · 7 months ago

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I really REALLY wanted to talk about my new favorite comfort story before the next Halloween event: Lost with Stitch!!

***Long Post ahead! You've been warned! 😭 (ONE OF MY FAVORITE EVENTS SO FAR!!)***

First off, the outfits for everyone!? Perfectionnnn!!

Like guys can’t we just pay each other a nice compliment!? Nope, not even possible 😂

AND LILIA WITH HIS ONLY CONCERN!? 😂😂😂

It’s such a difference from Lilia of the past to now is such a stark difference like wtf 😭

AND FINALLY WE MEET ONE OF THE CUTEST CHARACTERS: STITCH!! 💙

Seeing everyone being so confused with Stitch was such a treat and him messing with Grim in the beginning WAS TOO CUTE!

AND GANTU?! DUDE WAS FREAKIN HUGE!!

But I loved how everyone ended up working Stitch he's just too cute!

And Stitch being so friendly with us!

AHHHH GRIM GET TING JEALOUS OF US AND STITCH IS SUCH A TREAT HE'S TOO MUCH FOR ME SOMETIMES!!😂

I was gushing over how freakin cute Stitch managed to fit right in with all the misfits from NRC!

AND THANK GOD STITCH CAUGHT ON WITH ACE ABOUT THE WEIRD ASS FRUIT LILIA WAS PUSHING TO TRY

I felt so horrible for Azul but I can't stop laughing at the fact that Stitch quickly adapted to Lilia's bizarre taste and basically booking it away from him 😂

And how Ace was trying to save us from basically being poisoned so I think we can all thank Ace for the save 😂

And I wasn't sure how they were going to build a shelter BUT THE WAY I TWEAKED SEEING THIS!!!

THATS THE HOUSE!!! THE HOUSE WITH LILO AND NANI!! I REALLY WISH THEY COULDVE BEEN IN THIS STORY AND SEEING LILO REACTING TO EVERYONE WOULDVE BEEN SO ENTERTAINING

I don't know about you, but Floyd wanting to do the campfire by the beach HAS BEEN A HUGE DESIRE FOR ME SO I CAN'T BLAME HIM FOR DOING IT

BUT THEN GRIM AND LILIA MAKING US DANCE WITH ACE I WAS GASPING FOR AIR

I GOTTA CHILL OUT BUT I WAS SO IN LOVE WITH THIS SCENE AND HONESTLY I DIDN'T KNOW WHICH OPTION TO CHOOSE

BUT FLOYD AFTER PICKING THE EMBARRASSED OPTION WAS HYSTERICAL LIKE IS HE A SECRET SHIPPER FOR US?!

UHHHH I MEAN I DON'T MIND AS LONG AS IM DANCING WITH ACE (and of course with Grim since he's such a goofball that I adore 🥺)

I would love every minute of this seeing everyone dancing (even though I'd probably embarass myself 😂

It was fun seeing everyone rotating in the groups and just jabbing at one another. Lilia with Jack and Riddle being "less amusing" than Floyd and Stitch

And THIS JUST SOLIDIFIES HOW MUCH I LOVE ACE:

The fishing part was hysterical with Azul and Floyd just roasting Ace's swimming skills just because he's human 😂

BUT THEM HAVING US TAKING LILO'S SPOT AND HAVING STITCH CLING TO US?! I WAS LOSING IT! ESPECIALLY WITH HOW CONCERNED ACE AND GRIM WERE

AHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE THESE TWO SO MUCH AND IF DEUCE WAS THERE HE'D REACT THE SAME WAY AND I CANNOT EXPRESS HOW MUCH THEY-*explodes into a million pieces*

....But of course Azul had to spell it out that we owe him but I DON'T MIND HE'S CUTE TOO

AND SEEING SOME OF THE FIRST YEARS ENJOYING THE BEACH TOGETHER AND MESSING AROUND IT JUST MADE ME FEEL SO WARM AND HAPPY INSIDE 😭😭😭

AND THEN BEING ATTACK WHILE STITCH KICKING ASS SAVING US?! LOVEEEEE IT!!

THIS EVENT IS TOO CUTE I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!

I could keep going on and on about it, but the last thing I wanted to mention is HOW WE HAVE PTSD FROM ALMOST LOSING GRIM

.....*flashback to Book 6* AHHHHH I HATE IT BUT IM GLAD MY HAIRY GREMLIN IS OKAY!

Overall this event has been so great. I wanted to do this post earlier but it's been chaotic with life but this is definitely a favorite event moving forward!

LOVE YOU STITCH!!💙💙💙 (Screw the ending I want to remember this forever!!)

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mineofilms · 1 month ago

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Violation of Time | Review of: PRESENCE (2024)

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Imagine you're watching a movie, and all of a sudden, the main character shows up in a scene before they were even introduced, or someone dies and then just casually appears alive again in a later scene with no explanation. You’re sitting there thinking, “Wait, what?? Didn’t that already happen or didn’t happen?”

That’s a chronology violation — it’s when events in a story don’t follow a logical timeline. Stuff happens out of order, or in ways that don’t make much sense based on when, what, how things are supposed to happen.

Take the 1988 Nico Mastorakis film, “Nightmare at Noon.” Where a small desert town is suddenly turned into chaos when a mad scientist poisons the water supply, turning its residents into rabid, zombie-like killers. A mysterious cowboy, a vacationing couple, and the town sheriff must team up to survive the outbreak and uncover the truth behind the biological attack. As they battle the infected and try to stop the mastermind “bad guy.”

The wife of the vacationing couple gets infected and the husband is able to fight her off and lock her in a jail cell. The movie unfolds where the ragtag survivors have to kill off the zombies and do battle with the bad guy mastermind who doesn’t speak during the entire film. There is no real resolution to how to cure the people. They are simply killed as they attack the survivors. The mastermind is killed and at the end of the film the husband is getting ready to leave, seems happy he survived and behind him is his now cured wife, who when last we saw her was infected and trying to kill her husband before he is able to lock her in a jail cell. We do not know if they found a cure or not or how they cured her, but she is cured, smiling, happy to be alive. We know nothing of what happened to her but she is alive and about to continue her vacation with her husband. Huh???

Chronology violation could be looked at like if someone time-traveled and changed something in the past, but now the present doesn’t line up anymore — or, it’s when the timeline of events gets messed up or violated. Sometimes it’s intentional — like in movies about time travel (Back to the Future, Tenet, Primer), and sometimes it’s a mistake in storytelling or editing. Either way, it throws off the normal flow of time.

Time travel to the past? Not so fast... While it’s a nice idea, the past is done, and no amount of worship, science-fact, science fiction or wishful thinking is going to change its outcome. The Universe is indifferent. The universe doesn’t care about us, our actions, or our struggles. It's not biased, not cruel, and not kind. It doesn’t love, hate, pay taxes or vote — it simply exists, following its own laws and processes without regard for individual human concerns or human concerns in general. Existence doesn’t owe us meaning, justice, or purpose, and it won’t intervene to make our lives better or worse. It’s a cold, unfeeling backdrop to our lives, offering no moral guidance or cosmic hand-holding. The universe doesn’t give a damn about your nostalgia trip, and trying to mess with its flow is like trying to unburn a piece of toast — it’s already charred, and the clock’s not going to rewind, unburn your toast, that strangely, some think looks like Jesus Christ, for your convenience. The only option available is to accept that the past is a ghost, and no matter how much you try to summon it, it's never coming back.

Every moment that ticks by solidifies the next, and it’s all tied together by causality — cause and effect. Causality refers to the principle that everything that happens (the effect) is the result of some prior event or cause. This locked system ensures you don’t mess up the fabric of everything by hypothetically traveling back in time and stepping on a butterfly that somehow had a direct cause to humans ever coming into existence to begin with that would eventually travel back in time and step on the butterfly which would make certain humans never came into existence to begin with. You can't just pop into the past without messing up some delicate web of cause and effect, and that leads to chaos. Science calls this chaos entropy, and tampering with entropy in the past creates what science calls a paradox. One of the famous theories of a time paradox is the grandfather paradox. Where one travels to the past only to kill their grandfather before they could impregnate your grandmother that gives birth to your mother, that gives birth to you, so you are never born to begin with because your mother was never born. Another variation of this paradox involves traveling back to kill a young Hitler before he can rise to power...

Time travel to the past is impossible because it breaks the laws of physics, which breaks the laws of the Universe. If the Universe was a balloon, traveling to the past might pop it. It is considered impossible due to Einstein's theory of relativity and the second law of thermodynamics.

Einstein's Theory of Relativity:

Time travel to the past is impossible under Einstein's theory of relativity due to the way spacetime and causality work in this framework. According to the theory, time and space are interwoven into a single continuum called spacetime. Moving through time is like moving through space, but with some crucial limitations.

Relativity tells us that the speed of light is the universal speed limit. No object with mass can travel faster than light, which means nothing can “break” the timeline to jump backward in time. If time travel were possible, you’d have to move faster than light or manipulate spacetime in some way to loop back — but relativity makes that impossible. The faster an object moves within spacetime, the more its mass increases, requiring exponentially more energy to accelerate it further. As it nears the speed of light, its mass approaches a state of infinity, demanding infinite energy — a resource the universe doesn’t hand out. Physics doesn’t play well with infinities, like black holes, infinity is a barrier we cannot see past. Einstein’s equations describe how massive objects warp spacetime, creating gravitational fields that curve time. These curvatures are predictable and causal — meaning, they follow cause-and-effect rules. The idea of bending time to travel to the past would require conditions that violate this causality.

Second Law of Thermodynamics:

Time travel to the past is also impossible under the second law of thermodynamics because it directly contradicts the natural progression of entropy — from more ordered states to more disordered ones. The second law states that the total entropy (disorder) in a closed system must always increase or remain constant, never decrease. This is fundamental to how time works, as the "arrow of time" points toward the future and greater disorder. The universe constantly moves forward, with all processes naturally tending toward states of higher entropy. In simpler terms, things tend to fall apart, decay, and move toward chaos, and there's no going back. We can slow time down if we travel fast enough in a straight line and slow down time even more if you apply spin along with that greater speed, but one can never stop time altogether or go backward under this standard model of understanding. What this is saying is that to travel backward in time, you’d need to reverse entropy — to rewind all entropy processes in the universe, all at the same time, everywhere, from broken eggs to decayed stars, not just the point of reference you are trying to travel back to—which is the same as reversing time itself.

This doesn’t mean or imply that we know everything on the subject. Just that our current understanding of science doesn’t allow for that to happen. If there is a different form of science. Perhaps a “theory of everything,” that unifies quantum gravity and macro gravity could give us new insights on the subject or new concepts. Quantum gravity would be how gravity works at the subatomic level and macro gravity is how we feel gravity at our macro level of living on a sphere that is rotating around a core and this sphere also rotates around a Star.

Time travel to the past would require reversing this process — moving backward in time to a point of lower entropy, effectively reducing disorder. The problem is that this would violate the second law, which is one of the most well-established rules in physics. If you could somehow travel to the past, you’d need to reverse the increase in entropy that has already occurred, returning a disordered system (like the present) to a more ordered state (like the past). But that’s not allowed. Any attempt to decrease entropy — to undo the disorder and bring things back to a more ordered state — would violate the fundamental principle that entropy in a closed system can only increase.

Basically, the universe doesn’t let you "rewind" things. The law of entropy ensures that time only moves forward and that we can't simply go back and fix things by traveling to the past. The increasing disorder isn’t just a feature of the universe — it’s an inescapable part of how everything works. Trying to reverse it would break the very fabric of how time and physical laws operate, making time travel to the past not just improbable, but outright impossible. One might just pop that balloon after all.

If time travel to the past is possible from what frame of reference hypothetically could it be seen as?

Maybe not a machine, a DeLorean, a phone booth, or even technology at all, but instead, something stranger, weirder, and a little more existential. What if time travel to the past isn’t a place in time where one resides but more a point of reference on a 4D map.

No Flux Capacitor, Federation Starship, no botched faster than light test, no black hole jumping, no wormholes, or super suit that shields you from time paradoxes. You don’t even get a body at all. Just... awareness. Maybe it’s consciousness. Maybe it’s just a mechanism of how the universe processes a conscious mind. Just a single point, a zero-D dimensional point of awareness. You become nothing but a point of view — no mass, no energy, no ability to interfere outside of what has already happened in the timeline, (we’ll get to that.) A pure observer. Confused as to what it is, where it is, how it came to be there and most importantly, why…

This is the loophole the universe might allow — not participation, not alteration, but witnessing. You don’t change the past. You relive it. You see it again. But you can’t scream at your younger self to dump that toxic relationship. You can’t tell yourself to pull out sooner. You can’t stop a war. You can’t even blink. You're there... but not there.

If you think that sounds depressing, it is. You get all the pain of hindsight with none of the power of hindsight. You get to watch your regrets unfold exactly as they did, unable to touch anything outside of what has already been touched. It's a form of time travel, sure — just the most useless one imaginable. And maybe the only one that fits the rules.

This idea isn’t just science fiction either. It’s not -not science fiction, but it has some strange roots in physics. General relativity already treats time as a dimension, like space. Some interpretations of the "block universe" imply that all points in time — past, present, future — still exist, in a sense. They’re just not accessible. The past isn't destroyed. It’s just… not accessible from your current frame of reference. Unless something — say, your consciousness — could untether from its moment in time and slip backwards into that previous coordinate. Not to change it. Just to float above it like a drone. Silently recording. I look at the block universe in the context of its not that all points in time and events have happened already. I do not see it that way. The perspective I see this as the math is laid out so heavily in concrete that the only answer to the equation is what happened before that moment and then causality goes to the next moment from the cause to the effect. Not that it happened before in the literal sense, but more in the sense that the math cannot be change. 1+1=2. It is hard coded and cannot be altered. So in a sense it can be said in terms of all events have happened already. The reality is they have not. However, the math says, that is how it is going to go down and there isn’t an influence that can untether the math (entropy). We have already established one cannot do that. Another way to think of entropy is you are not trying to undo a moment in time and space. One would have to undo all moments in time and space from that point, all the way to the beginning. That is what is being said when it is said that entropy cannot be reversed. That is what we are talking about. Not a moment, but all moments from the present and the past. Probably even the future because of the way the math is laid out in our framework of physics.

In the case of being a Zero-D point of reference observing the past by being there, but not there in the physical sense of your body being in the place during that time. We wouldn’t be breaking causality because we’re not a cause. We’re not even an effect. We’re just there, a massless zero-energy point wedged into a moment that already happened. A zero-energy stowaway, perfectly harmless, as far as physics is concerned. Causality remains intact. Entropy doesn’t reverse. But you get to play ghost while you are there. Maybe you always were. This could help explain déjà vu, premonitions, hauntings. Perhaps even within the frame of a hypothetical God, or the version of you sitting in the dark wondering if time has really passed at all — or if you’re just watching it all again.

Besides; If time travel isn't possible, then how did John Titor create the phrase "Hold my beer?" 😂 It got me thinking—what if time travel to the past is possible, but you can only experience it as a passive observer? Perhaps in the same vain as the 2024 experimental film by Steven Soderbergh, Presence. In it, a spirit—or "Presence"—appears in a house before a family moves in and can only passively watch and lightly interact with them.

Major SPOILERS ahead…

Presence (2024) Writer: David Koepp Directed by: Steven Soderbergh Stars: Lucy Liu, Chris Sullivan, Callina Liang IMDB Rating: 6.1/10 Stars Rotten Tomatoes Score: 88% Runtime: 1 hour, 25 minutes

The movie starts with a formless ‘presence’ in an empty home. This presence then winks out or blinks and the next moment it is another day where a realtor is about to show the home to a family. The family is a husband, wife and two teenagers. One a boy and one girl. It is not stated which one is older or if they are twins, but seem close to the same age and grade in high school. The family wants to buy the home because they had to move due to the daughter’s emotional state after two of her close girlfriends died suddenly and close together of asphyxiation due to synthetic fentanyl. This entity, ghost, form of awareness, point of reference, or presence seems to wink in and out of existence at random times moving forward from this moment. The Presence isn't there every second. It will witness an event and then its point of view will shift days/weeks later like how we blink our eyes. When the Presence does, blink, that is what it does.

The movie plays out like a typical haunted house story but from the presence’s point of view. It cannot be seen directly, make noise or even do anything at first. It seems more interested in following the daughter around the house, whose struggles with her mental health and emotional well-being after her friend’s deaths. The son, meanwhile, is a typical high schooler obsessed with his social status and trying to maintain a “cool” persona. He often clashes with his sister’s emotional issues, feeling embarrassed and frustrated by her need for attention, which he perceives as a threat to his popularity. The presence watches over the family, especially the daughter, with a strange, detached, and passive perspective. As the family tries to settle into the new house, strange occurrences start to happen. The daughter feels more sensitive to these subtle supernatural events, and her mental state becomes more fragile as she senses something is wrong in the house. The presence is not an active force at this point; it merely observes, unable to influence anything, while she can feel its presence upon her. The presence begins to do some light interactions like stack books neatly when the sister is out of the room. The brother is more concerned with being “cool” at school, a sort of bully of the school, often indifferent to his sister’s struggles. He has a mean streak and struggles to understand his sister’s emotional issues, often dismissing her as a hindrance to his own social life. The brother meets a popular kid at school and, in an attempt to help his sister, tries to set her up with him. The sister begins to spend time with the cool kid from school. As her depressive state increases she becomes more brazen with drinking alcohol and having sex with the kid. Not really caring about how she feels about him but more about how she doesn’t want to feel depressed as she is, so she does a lot of the typical rebel without a cause-type teenager behaviors.

As the plot of the movie unfolds an argument ensues where the brother and sister get into a heated fight. The presence then rushes up to the brother’s room and trashes the room. The family hears the racket and comes to witness the presence affects onto the environment. After this moment the father hires a spiritual seer to come to the home in an attempt to understand whether or not what the family is experiencing is a haunting. We get some important exposition here about ghosts not really understanding what it is that is happening to it as it is experiencing time non-linearly and does not understand the true context of what it is that is happening. This would be an important exposition dump when we get to the end of the film.

Towards the end we realize the cool kid the sister has hooked up with is responsible for the sister’s friends’ overdosing, as they did not overdose but were drugged by the cool kid and then slowly suffocated using a thing piece of plastic wrap. The cool kid has a rather long monologue about why he does this to girls and you can tell he really enjoys this. The cool kid, drugged the brother who passes out on the downstairs couch. The cool kid then drugs the sister and attempts to kill her. The presence frantically attempts to wake the brother by trying to influence reality in any way it can. It is able to make some very high pitched audio distortions directly into the kid’s ear and he wakes up, frantic and afraid. Drugged and dazed, all he can do is stumble up the stairs to the room and tackle the killer out of the window where both boys fall to their death. The next moment. The house is empty and the family is moving out. The mother distraught hears a very high pitched frequency. She walks into the living room, where it gets louder and louder. She looks into a mirror and sees the presence in the reflection. The presence is the dead brother wearing what he wore at the time of death with a blank emotionless stare. The mother screams and the father and daughter rush in to consult the mother. There is an instant where the daughter looks into the mirror but I do not think she saw it. She acts like she didn’t. The mother, hysterical, says, “he came back to say goodbye.” As the presence now begins to slowly back away and out the open front door, away from the house, up and seemingly out into space. The movie ends on that note.

Here time travel is not mentioned, talked about or even explained at all outside the exposition dump when the spiritual seer attempts to describe how spirits operate in and with our reality. It is said in that exposition that time is experienced differently for dead spirits occupying our reality. That is pretty much all we get for an explanation but it does lay down the foundation for this entire essay. I wrote this entire essay just so that I can talk about this movie and what that could mean about time travel to the past.

The Break in Causality and the Nature of the Presence’s Influence:

In Presence, causality breaks only once: at the moment of the brother’s death. His fatal fall triggers his death but also instantly sends his consciousness to the past—on the day his family first tours the house. This is the only moment in the story where the arrow of time folds back on itself, thrusting a future consciousness into a past moment. From that point forward, time resumes its forward march, with causality restored and functioning normally.

Yet what unfolds is not passive limbo. The presence—the brother’s post-mortem consciousness or awareness—can observe events as they occur and, crucially, interact with the physical world. However, it is only able to influence events in ways that already happened inside the timeline. It is not changing the past; it is fulfilling it. The presence is not rewriting history, but participating in it exactly as it unfolded. A clear example from the film is the destruction of the brother’s bedroom. It happened. It was part of the timeline. The brother, when alive, saw it—or at least knew of it—and even if he didn’t witness it or know of it -it became an established objective fact. When the presence later enacts that destruction, it’s not altering anything; it’s simply occupying the causal role that was always meant to be there. It is not a haunting—it is a loop closing.

The weight of this idea can be illustrated by a thought experiment: imagine a can of Coke taken from the fridge, carried upstairs, and placed on a dresser. Later, it topples over mysteriously. At the time, no one knows why, only that it fell off the dresser. Now imagine the presence is in the room in the past, sees the Coke placed down, or doesn’t. It actually doesn’t matter if it knows or not but nudges it over spilling the Coke—perhaps out of frustration, perhaps just instinctively. From the presence’s perspective, this is a decision. But from the timeline’s perspective, the Coke was always going to fall, and the presence was always going to knock it over. Now, did the presence cause the Coke to fall? Yes. But it did so only because the fall already happened. It is bound to act only within what happened in the past by causality. Its agency is an illusion—it can “choose” to act, but only in ways that fulfill the already-written script of events of reality. The past cannot be changed, but it can be inhabited and even participated in. This frames the presence not as a ghost in the traditional sense, but as a closed-circuit loop of consciousness—trapped in a causally consistent replay. This idea resonates more with speculative physics: the presence, as a soul or form of negative energy, exists outside the bounds of classical thermodynamics. Once the loop completes—once it has witnessed all it was meant to witness and fulfilled its limited role in the timeline—it is released. Perhaps, metaphorically or metaphysically, or perhaps it is drawn into a black hole: the soul rejoining the absolute, collapsing into singularity, into timelessness of multiple dimensions of reality. There is no contradiction here. Only the illusion of one. The brother dies. His consciousness loops back to the beginning of the story. The past plays out. And when all things are as they were, he fades—not because he is erased, but because his role is complete. Time, having used him as a thread in its own design.

I immediately saw these small interactions the Presence does as part of a time loop. The entire movie is seen strictly from the Presence's point of view, and it never cuts away from that unapologetically, unrelenting locked perspective. Perhaps one day we figure out how to send our consciousness back in time using some unknown tech or science we’ve yet to discover. But the universe won’t allow our physical body in that space—only our awareness or at least the laws of physics say if our awareness was somehow in the past, under these rules, it doesn’t break the Universe. We’d exist as a formless presence, unable to actually change anything. Any interaction we attempt just ends up fulfilling what already happened. Because that interaction was always part of the event. You can’t create new events. Even when you try, nothing happens. And when something does happen, it’s only because it already did happen. Hello block Universe… I don’t know, just a fun thing to think about. I’m not sure why Presence pulled me in like it did. A lot of people didn’t seem to like it, but the slow-burn drama and the way the Presence learns things through indirect observation really worked for me and got my mind working on Time Travel again. I also appreciated the "rules" or internal logic of the universe it is built on. I would have loved to sit in these round table discussions on how this was all established to create a very different type of ghost story. Honestly, I felt like it was a quiet little thriller made for smart people.

The Presence isn’t omniscient, it doesn’t know everything, let alone, anything, doesn’t have god-like perspective, and doesn’t even know its role in the story. It just; watches. Like real people do when they're dropped into unfamiliar situations. And when they act, they’re not rewriting history—they’re fulfilling it. The lights flickering or doors creaking were always supposed to happen. There’s a tragic futility in it, but also a quiet inevitability. The idea that the universe “lets” you observe the past, but only as part of a loop you were always inside of. Maybe that is what hell actually is. Perhaps why we think of hell in those terms because most people that would witness their last days/weeks/months of life and the frustration of not being able to change it in anyway could be seen as a sort of waking hell. I mean, think about it. If what is left after death is this negative energy, this massless awareness. All you know is observation. All one can experience is that relentless watching. In this case, its watching one’s self and someone you love be in harm’s way or consistently unhappy. That could be perceived as a terrifying experience. What if one died and was brought back? What if they said they felt trapped for years, decades, just watching people suffer, but they were only dead for seconds? We just do not know enough about consciousness outside the body.

So maybe the only way to travel back in time is the way Presence did it — not with flashing lights or spinning wormholes, but with silence. With stillness. You don’t arrive in the past; you haunt it or it haunts you. A formless voyeur stitched into a moment, doomed to watch what’s already played out, play out again, like a ghost following footprints it can never alter. The spirit in Presence isn't really a character in the traditional sense. It's more of a lens — an observer or passenger. Even when it shifts something, it only shifts it in ways that always happened. The loop was closed before it began. That’s the trapdoor loophole this entire theory is built on: If you “affect” something, it’s only because that affect already existed. There’s no butterfly to crush, because the butterfly was always dead. Maybe you stepped on it, maybe someone else did — the point is, it was always going to get crushed. In that sense, it’s not really time travel. It’s deterministic surveillance. It’s emotional recursion. It’s repressed memory made manifest. And like the Presence in the film, it’s passive. Lonely. Inescapable. You’re not breaking the laws of physics, you’re obeying them so well they feel like prison bars because they literally are. Even interaction is an illusion — because anything you "change" is just the fulfillment of what always was. There’s a kind of horror in that, but also a strange peace. You’re not God. You’re not the hero. You’re just... there. A cosmic dashcam recording the inevitable. And that’s where it ties back to the block universe and entropy. The universe isn't rolling out time like a red carpet. It’s already laid it down — from the first moment to the last. You’re not walking through time. You’re experiencing and reacting to it. So if there’s a form of time travel allowed by the laws of physics, maybe it’s not “changing the past,” but being reinserted into it as a point of reference. Like loading an old save file from a game — except you can’t play. You just watch the non-playable characters (NPCs) move exactly as they did before, heartbreak and all. You don’t even get closure. You just get clarity. If you’re lucky. And maybe that’s what déjà vu really is: a brief flicker of the observer breaking through. A reminder that your consciousness, for a split second, lagged back to a frame it already saw. A ghost of yourself haunting your own timeline. Maybe even that’s what the Presence is — not a spirit of the dead, but of the living, watching themselves from the far end of the road. So no, you don’t get to go back and stop the fight, or save the girl, or dodge the car crash. But you do get to watch. You get to remember, in the most literal, cinematic sense. And if that’s the best the universe will allow, maybe it’s enough.

We do not get any insight on the mechanism that propels the presence to the past. Only that it does.

If we accept the premise that time travel to the past is only possible in the form of passive observation — a zero-dimensional point of consciousness with no mass, negative energy, no direct influence on entropy — then Presence becomes something more than just experimental cinema. It becomes a demonstration. A visual case study of what that kind of travel might feel like. The camera never cuts in Presence. There's no omniscient third-person view. We are locked into the point of view of the Presence itself — this incorporeal observer who sees everything in the scene and is not seen, understands very little, and can only interact in the most minimal, abstract ways.

From a physics perspective, it's poetry.

In our framework, this is how limited interaction might be modeled: not actual change, but pre-encoded causality. Like a ROM chip on a motherboard. Unchangeable data that can be viewed, used but never manipulated into something else.

Whether intentionally or not, a world with very strict rules. No jump scares. No camera cheats. No omnipotence or god-like powers. The Presence doesn’t know what’s happening any more than we do. It learns through context, through patterns, through repetition of watching. That’s the experience of our theoretical time traveler. They don't step into a moment with full access to memory or purpose. They’re just... THERE... Trying to make sense of what’s unfolding. Maybe watching their own life. Maybe someone else’s. Perhaps another era altogether.

The way the film deals with time — nonlinear, disorienting, often repetitive — mirrors how memory works, or how a mind might process existence when decoupled from chronological sequence. That’s another haunting idea: what if time travel isn't movement through time, but memory in its purest form? A looped, liminal space where perception is all that exists. And what if déjà vu, intuition, and grief are echoes of the observer — the Presence in us — brushing against events we’ve already experienced, we’ve already seen?

This theory reframes Presence not as supernatural, but as a thought experiment on consciousness and time. The spirit is you — or something like you — a consciousness slipped out of sequence. Not a ghost of the dead, but a ghost of the displaced.

This is why the film feels strange even to audiences who expect weird. It’s not just that it breaks visual norms — it breaks metaphysical ones. All the angles are from the presence’s point of view. They even use a very warped wide angle lens to give that feeling of ultra-claustrophobia. The horror isn’t in the family’s unraveling, it’s in your own helplessness. You’re in the room, in the moment, watching people suffer, and you can’t do a damn thing about it. Just like our model of time travel. Just like real memory. Just like real life. So if Presence disturbed you but you weren’t sure why, maybe this is it: it’s not a haunting. It’s a reminder. A memento of something you already saw. You just forgot until now. It is never clear whether the presence knows it is the dead brother’s spirit from the future or not. Memory isn’t mentioned in the exposition but we might be able to assume that memory is also treated in the same respect. Fractured, fragmented, familiar but not familiar all at the same moment in the same place, all at once, everywhere.

In this view, time travel isn’t about changing history—it’s about witnessing meaning. And in doing so, maybe it becomes more about understanding ourselves than altering outcomes. Humans tend to lump things in a binary logic of this/that, yes/no, zero/one, true/false, man/woman, real/fake, love/hate, black/white, but most of us tend to see and experience this reality in gray. Not black or white but somewhere in between never actually being all the way black or all the way white but in a constant brushing against it as a gray space that makes this idea so goddamned eerie and effective.

Ah, cosmic determinism. There you are my ole friend. That phrase really wants to sit at the table of crossroads in philosophy, physics, and narrative structure.

Cosmic determinism is the idea that everything in the universe—every action, event, thought, or anomaly—is part of an unchangeable pattern that’s not just fated, but baked into the fabric of reality itself. It goes beyond simple cause and effect. It’s not just that A leads to B. It’s that A was always going to lead to B because the universe itself is constructed in such a way that no other option was ever truly on the table even though all options seem possible or at the very least seem not impossible.

A time-traveling essence that can only observe and interact in ways that were always part of the original timeline—cosmic determinism becomes a kind of philosophical paint color. It’s the computer code within the code, behind the rules. The Presence doesn’t get to choose what it does. It’s not even clear if it knows what it's doing. It just reacts, moves, shakes the lamp, wakes the drugged brother, and stumbles into its fate—because it always did. Because it always would.

So, under this lens, cosmic determinism is not just saying "everything happens for a reason." It’s saying, "everything happens because it already happened—and it could never have not happened."

It’s different from religious fate, or even classical determinism, which assumes a kind of clean logic to events. Cosmic determinism adds a metaphysical weight to it, like the whole universe is a closed loop of inevitability that you’re only just waking up inside of. You might have feelings, questions, confusion—but it doesn’t matter. The wheel was already spinning. You’re just seeing the spokes flash by for the first time and it scares you or many so much they are willing to believe in God or any god for that matter with no proof other than a subjective feeling it could be true because we cannot prove it to be untrue.

That’s what gives something like Presence its existential dread: not the idea that the ghost fails or succeeds, but that he never had a choice. That whatever hope, panic, or tenderness it experiences in that liminal state, it was always just the echo of something that already happened, following the crumpled groove on the sheet of paper we call spacetime. It’s when the story of the universe isn’t just written—it’s already been published. You're just flipping back through the pages in a dimly lit room, wondering if that light you saw at the end of the tunnel was just you looking back at yourself.

How existential…

Contra Tempus Latin for (Violation of Time) Review of: Presence (2024) by David-Angelo Mineo 6,246 words Audio/Video: 00:36:23

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man-in-jumpsuit · 4 months ago

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It's time for another update to the pitch deck. Strap in. We have some reworks, and a couple new pages. I'm gonna be a little brief this evening as I am exhausted. Lotta work doing a 9-5 and then coming home to do this.

Worth it, though. Art is its own reward.

Today, I fixed an issue I found with the mobile landscape version of the pitch deck that was making it non-navigable due to the video overlapping it. That was a copy-paste error on my part, and easy enough to solve (thankfully).

Alright, without further ado, let's look at the new additions:

This, my friends, is (unsurprisingly) called a show cross. You ideally want to pick two or three shows that you could point to as short hand. This is useful to evoke certain experiences people have had with the referenced work, and to capture some of the key elements your show that may have commonalities with it.

In this case, I chose:

Everything, Everywhere, All at Once One, because this film drops its viewers straight into the story without bothering with overly long exposition. It gets there, but it earns it by first making the viewer experience the film as the protagonist does. When the protagonist gets explanation, so do we. Two, this film allows serious subject matter to often be punctuated by absurd comedy. Heartglass features a whole story arc that involves three people in hell living and working inside one of Hell's many ice cream shops. Time is told by the spinning of a shovel, and they're haunted by the Specter of Kommunism. It's never juvenile, but it is weird and silly at times. Three—and most importantly—this is the most recent and popular form of Weird Fiction that isn't specifically horror. Horror itself is its own brand of Weird Fiction, but that's a whole 'nother set of posts to get into that. It's important that pieces you choose for a show cross are first and foremost relatable to a wide audience. These are touchstones for the rest of your story.

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly This is a set piece that helped solidify gritty revenge westerns. Heartglass borrows some of the sensibilities of the film. One, its protagonists are in groups of three, specifically because of the interplay being dynamic and more interesting with multi-layered interpersonal jabbing versus a back and forth. Often, when two of your characters are interacting, a third allows you to interject and move a scene along. I'm getting into a tangent here, but this movie is a great example of the power of using a trio of subjects. Alexandre Dumas probably did this best, but again, you want to use immediately relatable media. Heartglass also borrows a lot of western sensibilities, even if it's not a true western. It embraces a search for a wild freedom, and its themes involve rebelling against a system that is rapidly sanitizing the messiness that makes things interesting.

The Neverending Story I won't get into the very spoiler-ish reasons this fits—as some of you reading this will hopefully listen to the show—but the overall spirit of this movie is one of big, resonant emotions packaged in a story aimed squarely at fans of fiction. It's self-aware, fantastical, and has a meatiness to the storytelling that sticks to you. I first saw this movie when I was 5 years old and I've loved it ever since. It holds up to rewatching, because again—while it may deal with silly and absurd subject matter at times, it accepts it at face value and doesn't try to make self-conscious jokes about it.

Okay, up next, the very beginning of the character section:

There are going to be quite a few of these. Normally I would condense these into multiple per page, and the last time I did a pitch deck I did exactly that. I had no choice with that pitch deck, however, as it would've been 30 pages long if I hadn't.

Seriously. The Dope Show is going to have a massive cast. Check it out when it comes out.

There's not a whole lot to say about these that isn't on the page. You want an exhaustive explanation of the character and their motivations. Include larger spaces that you can quick glance at.

Looking at it now, I've done a horrible job at that on my first pass. This one will almost certainly have a rework in tomorrow's update for that very reason. But, you can get the overall sense of it.

I am lucky enough to already be in production for this show—the extended first-look trailer is available on my feed. If you are too, then you'll want to highlight the actors you've cast. In this case, we're starting with the inimitable Ashleigh Morghan, who has a number of TV and video game credits to her name.

You'll notice that Tessa Thompson appears on the page too. Including a visual like this is just another short-hand for your character. Maya's got some spice to her, just like Tessa Thompson's character from Sorry For Bothering You. Choose images that you can use in a "look book" fashion so that someone thumbing through can get a sense of who the character is without investing the time to actually read the words.

Overall, typography and color palette on this page still need some work. As well as getting that information condensed down, because it's just too much right now. Like I said, I'm exhausted and I knew I was still coming to write this afterwards, so this is what I have right now.

And finally, a reworked second page of the Pitch Deck

The color palette on this was bothering me. The green glass wasn't reading as green glass, and it just didn't fit the mood of the rest of the pitch deck. It's still not perfect. The title text is still trying to do too much, and I may just axe it in favor of calling it what it is—a hook page. If I really want to keep the "Everybody has/is a story" wordplay, it probably belongs in the section with the hook.

That said, this is much closer to the overall feel of the rest of the pitch deck, and I'm much happier with it in general.

Alright! That's it for updates this time around. As always, you can follow along and navigate the entire pitch deck yourself on the website. Until next time!

#audio drama #audio fiction #fiction podcast #audiodrama #podcast #pitch deck #heartglass #tutorial #behind the scenes

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that-one-little-soybean · 9 months ago

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Young Royals Foreshadowing Analysis

So I just had a thought while watching a rlly good YR edit to that song thats like "they both reach for the gun the gun the gun" by @ somewherewedie on tik tok.

so everyone knows that scene in young royals right at the beginning of the first season where Wilhelm, August and Erik are getting their picture taken put the front of Hillerska, and Wille has his bag, which August then takes from him (as a gesture of seemingly 'good will').

Looking back on that scene in the context of the edit, I had a realisation that in a way, that little tussle between Wilhelm and August over holding the bag (with August trying to take it and Wilhelm resisting, before ultimately giving in and allowing August to hold it) is in some ways a foreshadowing for the entire plot for all three seasons.

Whether is was an intentional piece of foreshadowing or not at the time of it's conception, I definitely believe that scene is a metaphor for the relationship between August and Wilhelm, and is applicable to their relationship and interactions throughout the entire series.

August and Wilhelm are constantly at odds, fighting each other for power both within the monarchy (ie as crown prince, heir to the throne, etc) and within their cohort (particularly in the final season when Wilhelm is seeking to take away every bit of power August holds within Hillerska). This is represented in that little moment within a very early scene where they fight for control of the bag.

To solidify the foreshadowing and metaphorical messaging of that tussle over the luggage, it ends with August becoming victorious, and holding the bag for Wilhelm. This is mirrored in season three, when Wilhelm finally abdicates and August becomes the crown prince. To add another layer to that, when August realises he is finally the heir to the throne, his face falls rather than fills with joy. To bring it back to that earlier scene, August takes the physical baggage in season one, and ends up with the less literal baggage in season three.

It is quite a full circle moment in some ways, whether intentional or not. (Although as we know the amazing writers for this show had a clear idea of the story they were telling, so maybe it was intentional foreshadowing for the ending, right from the start).

That's just some thoughts I had surrounding that scene, I haven't seen anyone talk about that particular one at all really so I thought I'd make a a little post! Everyone should also go show that edit some love because it is really good!!

#young royals #wilhelm #august #erik #hillerska #young royals season 1 #young royals season 3 #young royals analysis #young royals wilhelm #young royals august #young royals edit #young royals edits #prince wilhelm #crown prince wilhelm #simon erikkson #Wilhelm and august

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hershelchocolate · 10 months ago

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What are your favorite "chapters" or scenes from each of your stories? Are some of them really long sections while others are short individual moments? Why are they your favorites, and what emotion is does each section aim to make you and/or the reader feel?

Just gonna do this for ones I have figured out enough to answer for-

Villain School: I daydream about the end of year 3 a lot still. It was such a good payoff for stuff hinted at from year *1* (I've already made some of the foreshadowing. At least one person had already guessed it) but also there's so many moving pieces. Wally finally gets the peak of his arc. Maple gets fucking decked harder than she's ever been. Savannah gets confirmed best friend status with Wally (bestie of the besties) and cries about it while everyone is dying. That whole sequence is still so fun, it was going to be the most hype thing ever if i ever rewrite the villain school I'm not changing it

Also this one bit in year 4 where Carmen fucks up trying to do something cause he didn't realize Savannah has gone through 4 years of being the main character and just. COMPLETELY fucks up the evil thing he was trying to do in the worst way possible for everyone involved it's the only time he's genuinely worried about getting caught and it's so funny. Shame about the everything else tho

Whisper Court: many. So many. First one that comes to mind is any scene where anyone dies tbh. It's the same "Oh noooo character is dying :(" kinda sequence but all of them are so uniquely fucked up and horrifying. I don't want to spoil Who Gets Got but man. Man. Oughgg. Fuck dude. I've been hinting at one for ages and I can't wait for everyone to get mad at me

The Hallowed: IRENE GETS TO KILL AND MAIM LET HER KILL!! SHE DESERVES IT!!! I've got an animatic to it in my brain for Can You Hear Me Now by The Score it's so fucking cool. Again. I hesitate to say literally anything about it but it fucks I promise. That's supposed to be the biggest YOOOOOOO GET HER ASS!!!!! moment in the whole series I'm so worried about nailing it tbh. Oughg

Angel Wings: a little odd cause it's a game and that's hard to pinpoint moments for but. Ending 4-2. I will not elaborate. Center Stage by Vocacircus okay there you go that's your hint

Locked Love: Lif scene. That entire sequence. Their whole deal is so. Ohghg. "Alright fine I'll become the antagonist" but it was never supposed to go this way. They should have died before things ever had a chance to go this way. What does it mean to be the consequences of a God suffering from the sunk-cost fallacy. If it costs you your humanity. If it never meant anything at all. It was never supposed to be this way. They can't even be mad

Solitarius: the beginning of the end. They can't even bring themself to be surprised this time, it was a weird run. It was never going to end well, they couldn't even be bothered to pretend. Everything is crumbling to dust but they remain stable. They've died this death a thousand times, it doesn't faze them anymore. The loss she's suffering isn't even close to the lost they've felt and yet they can't help but feel a twinge of regret that she's unknowingly had to live this moment over and over throughout time. There was no way to stop it though, so why bother caring?

Alphabet RPG has a moment like that (it was all intentional? Were we ever worth more to you than this?) And so does Halloween Town (if I had known, would I have stopped it? Maybe not.) But those aren't solidified enough for me to try going in depth about them

#this was. really really fun actually #i feel like if i can just *finish* a story i will have the fanbase ive always wanted to kill yknow #alas. the scope #ask #joyfulness03

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dathen · 4 years ago

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Okay I have some complicated thoughts following Melanie’s arc that all build on top of each other and hinge HEAVILY on unreliable narrator interpretations so bear with me

In my relisten I’m at the beginning of s3, and it always shocks me a bit at how quickly she interprets Martin’s interaction with her as hostile. I’m going to skip over the “it’s understandable, Melanie’s had a hard time in her career” disclaimers since there’s plenty of meta on that already, and instead follow the effects of this tendency: not on others, this time, but on her

(This got absurdly long and covers so many episodes so I’m going to split it into separate pre- and post-bullet surgery posts)

Rewinding a bit, the last time she was at the Institute, she was starting to get along with Jon before he seemed confused about her comment on “the other Sasha.” It takes her a split second to interpret that confusion as him suddenly deciding to gaslight and mock her, gets angry and tells him there is something seriously wrong with him, and leaves before he can ask what she means. Given how tenuous their truce was and the fact she and Jon had mocked each other in the past, it’s an outburst that at least has some personal history behind it.

But only a couple episodes later, we learn that it’s not just Jon she responds to in this way. In TMA 84, she meets our Martin Blackwood! Customer service voice opposite-of-Jon politeness extraordinaire! And as soon as he gets confused about the two Sasha comment, she.......immediately assumes that HE is also trying to gaslight her. She insists that “I’m not doing this again” without giving him a chance to ask or explain, so they miss the opportunity to piece together the deal with the Not!Sasha. Her doing this with someone she just met shows a much broader pattern than her interactions with Jon.

That very episode, Elias offers Melanie a job, and she accepts despite Martin’s protests. Later, she accuses them all of them being an “old boy’s club” because she interpreted Martin’s warnings as sexism rather than trying to protect her. As the audience, we see the unreliable narrator of her perspective at work: we know that Jon and Martin were genuinely confused, and we know that Martin was trying to save her, and that all of these instances were her seeing it as people being out to get her.

Hop forward to the notorious gossip scene in TMA 106. Here, Melanie complains about Martin being hostile to her. My first assumption was that this was all offscreen, but after this parade of misinterpretation and comparing to her and Martin’s actual interactions, I have to wonder:

TMA 84, after Martin tells Melanie about the murder, and right before Elias interrupts:

Martin: Are you sure you’re alright?

Melanie: Yes! I just got… God, I’m kind of at the end, you know?

Martin: The end of what?

Melanie: Everything. Friends, clues, savings. Everything. Options. There’s nowhere left for me to go . I don’t know why, but… I just, I just felt that perhaps coming here might help. And talking things out with Jon. I mean, I mean he’s awful, but at least he listens, you know?

Martin: (soft) Yeah. ...I’m sorry. Um, is there anything that I could, like, maybe...do for you?

They get interrupted immediately after this, so this was the first impression Melanie was given. Then, when Elias offers the job, she...assumes Martin’s “I don’t think that’s a good idea” is from sexism, when he’d just been talking about murders and disappearances that caused that very job opening.

TMA 88

Melanie: Are you alright?

Martin: Yeah… Sorry, just a lot of change recently, y’know. You and John and Sasha and… everything’s gone a bit wrong. It’s the not knowing, you know? I mean, Jon’s still alive. Not sure why, but I’m sure of that. But Sasha, I…

Melanie: Yes, it’s… it’s probably, um…

Martin: Sorry, sorry, I’m... What do you need?

Next interaction! Oh this one HURTS. Martin takes her question literally, and starts telling her why she’s not alright, a reverse of their earlier exchange. But Melanie came by for a question and wasn’t prepared for an honest answer, so Martin quickly reels it in and asks what he can do for her once again.

Skipping forward a bit in that same scene:

Martin: Oh, you weren’t here when we took the place over from Gertrude! It’s been over a year just to get it like this. I mean, I think the database was on Jon’s list, but--

Melanie: So how do you track someone down?

Martin: Oh, oh well, y’know, we’ve a few contacts in various record offices around the place. Aside from that it’s just… just a bit of detective work, really. Tim used to do a great line in impersonating people to utility companies! Heh, the number of times he got them to give him ‘his own’ address--

Melanie: Right, right… Um, this one, the name is 'Jude Perry.’ Doesn’t mean anything to you, does it?

I LOVE THIS EXCHANGE. I TREASURE IT. Having bottled up his emotions, Martin is going in full Friendly Helpful Coworker mode. There are so many little details here signaling that he’s embracing her as part of the team, sharing anecdotes about Tim’s shenanigans and Jon’s old plans, looping her in as One of Them as he helps her get what she needs. This is the kind of approach you go to management trainings to get, to help new hires feel welcome and part of things. But alas, Melanie is in a hurry and wants to cut to the chase, so all this is lost on her.

TMA 98 - I won’t copy it all in here because it’s long, but this is an overwhelmingly positive interaction. She asks if he’s okay, but he bottles it up and says he’s fine. This time, she presses, and he admits it’s because of the statements. Martin ends up asking for help!! and Melanie agrees! She’s on the way to murder Elias, but she still gets credit for “I’ll ask him to cut you some slack.” Then she invites him to drinks!

And then.... TMA 106

Melanie: Anyway, Martin’s always been lovely to you.

Basira: Hmm. I don’t know, I mean, you should have seen him when I turned up last year. I think he thought I was trying to steal his precious Archivist.

Melanie: Ahhh. I got the exact same when Jon was hiding out, and came to me with his “source on the inside” stuff. Martin was not impressed.

WAIT WHAT

We just looked over all their interactions! They were all soft and lovely and welcoming!! But then we hear Melanie with “well unlike how he is to me, Martin is nice to you.” This was taken at face value for years, but when you line up all of the above, I feel there is a strong basis to say this is another case of Melanie’s first impressions + over-defensiveness gone wrong. Just like we saw her initial bickerings with Jon solidify into series-long hostility, her interpreting Martin’s confusion as gaslighting and warnings about the job as sexism seems to have doomed her opinion of him long-term. We hear Martin being kind and concerned and welcoming, then hear Melanie contrast it as bad treatment.

Recently, a mutual considered this even further to how she talked about losing all of her friends with the Ghost Hunt UK circles:

Melanie: Even back then, I could feel all my old friends starting to distance themselves from me. ... I stopped asking the others for help, and I kept my research to myself. I talked to them less and less. By the time I was arrested, I think a lot of them had already given up on me.

I have to wonder...did this sort of dynamic play out here, too? Did she assume that her friends’ concern was judgment or hostility? Were they giving up on her, or did she lash out and push them away? Either way, it’s easy to see parallels to s2 Jon in her description, here, with her withdrawing and diving alone into increasingly risky research without asking for help. And s2 Jon definitely shared Melanie’s tendency to see offers for help and support as hostile. (Aside: I interpret her and Georgie as not very close at this point, like a networking contact rather than a friend; Melanie comes to Jon for someone to talk to about her struggles above her, and Georgie seems to be unaware of all of Melanie’s encounters pre-s3)

And on that downer note I am ending part 1...but PART 2 IS GOING TO BE WAY HAPPIER THAN THIS. Here, we see Melanie with a lot of people who would have supported her if she let them: Martin, Jon, possibly the friends she said abandoned her. But in her effort to protect herself and not let history repeat for how she’d been hurt in the past, she ends up alone and spiraling.

#tma #the magnus archives #tma spoilers #melanie king #tma meta #I had to stop myself from just rambling All Melanie Feelings in Every Direction to stay on track #but hoo boy writing this gave me a lot of feelings for the martin melanie friendship that could have been

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sxfik · 4 years ago

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let's talk about confession scenes

i've seen a lot of people, both on tumblr and twitter say that we won't get a confession scene. but in reality, i believe this whole episode today WAS a confession scene. it was them confessing to each other in every way they can.

these past 19 episodes have made it so clear that both cha-young and vincenzo's love language is acts of service, not words of affirmation. that's why we very rarely see them explicitly say "good job" or even regular compliments you would give to a partner or a friend. instead, it's expressed in small touches, grand gestures and gifts for vincenzo and cha-young's energy and attitude that shows how much they care about each other. but in episode 19, we saw them repeatedly gravitate towards each other, a lot more than in previous episodes.

at the beginning of the show, when they are on the rooftop, we see them discussing love and family. vincenzo says to her that "he fell in love with this place" and "he prefers love with no reason" and cha-young replies saying that "he's trying to make it sound romantic when they both know it isn't." now, the scene from ep 19 is an absolute parallel to this one. visually, both are wearing blue, looking out over the plaza, after saving the plaza and it's residents once more.

she asks him whether he came back for her and he never denies it, and they talk a little about how he paid them off so they don't attack his italian family (similar to how in the earlier scene, cha-young talks about how he paid for the party and protected the plaza in korea). but when cha-young talks about how grateful she is that he's back in one piece, the scene completely shifts (as they shift towards each other) and they're flirting. she refers back to the party and says "he looked cool, just like in that suit that only i had heard about that day" and he pauses as he says "i'm glad i met..." and there's a brief moment where you can tell cha-young expects a "you" at the end of the sentence but he opts to imply it instead. here they're taking something that isn't romantic from a glance and making it sound romantic because it's meaningful to each other. both of them are expressing their gratitude to each other.

(side note: just rewatching that scene while writing this makes me remember just how much tension they had between each other, especially the way he looked at her when she recognized boolaro, he might have married her on the spot)

as the episode continues, we see them interact with ease and playfulness, and the joy of not having to be parted from each other (cha-young teasing vincenzo and not intervening when mr. nam hugs him). he's looking through paperwork when he notices cha-young working and observes that she's tired from a distance, then offering her a kopiko. we see both of them leaning over the residents as they through paper in celebration of the win, standing much closer and sharing very meaningful looks as they fist bump. we also get a scene where they're drinking a coffee by water and similar to how in the earlier episodes cha-young would ask about the mafia with curiosity, vincenzo mirrors that while asking her about korea.

one of my favorite scenes, was by that water, where she confesses how even when he leaves "vincenzo cassano will be more than just a memory" which is a confession in her own way. she's confessing to him about how much of an impact he's had on her life, her mind and ultimately in her heart. and he replies to her that he doesn't make promises to just anyone but for her, he promises that he'll come back. i interpreted it as him replying that he'll always come back for her and that he won't have to be a memory for her. and she taps his coffee cup and he taps back, almost like she's asking for a pinky promise that he'll be back. we also can note that his gaze lingers on her a little longer and we can see him swallow his words one more, ones that might have been more explicitly confessing.

not to mention the date the coffee shop scene where he double checks with her if she's okay joining her in the journey punishing han seok. it shows that he's taken the care to notice how much it affected her when they killed their "hunting dogs" and he's giving her a way out, and wanting to protect her (yes im excluding the "virtue" bit bc i think thats bs). time and time again, we're seeing them care for each other and push each other outside comfort zones while ensuring that they're still alright with pushing.

and of course, the jealous!husband scene we got. does this even need any elaboration? to me, it felt like 2 people dancing around each other when both of them know the other likes them. almost like a talking stage or a stage where both know the other person's feelings but neither of them have made a move.

and finally, we get han seok (that crazy bitch) kidnapping. the panic and shock as Vincenzo sees the earrings and connects them to cha-young and the frantic way he races to her, without even knowing where exactly he's headed. and we have cha-young who says "don't use me to hurt him, just kill me instead." cha-young cares more about vincenzo's emotions, and is willing to die rather than see han seok use her to hurt him. the relief in vincenzo's eyes and the breath he leaves when he's reassured that cha-young is alive. he rushes towards her when he sees her, and swallows when he realizes she's all tied up and kneeling. and there's a moment of silent communication between them where she nods her head no. with vincenzo, it takes all the rage within him not to check on cha-young when she's slapped. i had mentioned this before but the moment he kneels and allows himself to be killed with little hesitation, says how much he cares for cha-young. how much he loves cha-young. the way he races immediately towards cha-young the moment he gets the chance and frees her.

and of course, the moment she gets shot, you'll notice the moment is completely quiet, just the gunshot, because to vincenzo that's all he's processed. it takes him touching her wound and having her collapse into his arms for him to process the pain and shock and anger of seeing her hurt. the way his eyes show so much pain as he watches cha-young and the way he hold her as she sags against him. everything about the way he looks, the guttural, shocked sound he lets out, to the way he holds her screams out how much he loves her.

the finger-flick scenes were when they seeing each other in a clearer light, the kiss scenes solidifying that there is something more there and the departure scene showing that they're tied to each other. and now the kneeling is solidifying that they love each other. they are willing to die for each other and kneel even against someone that took their blood family away from them to save the other. time and time again in this episode they're confessing and showing just how much they care and love each other.

(disclaimer: some of these might be a stretch but you know! it's my last day to clown guys)

#mine #vincenzo #vincenzo cassano #chayenzo #hong cha young #song joong ki #tvn vincenzo #jeon yeo been #vincenzo x cha young #jang han seok #jang han seo #ok taecyeon #kwak dong yeon

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autumnslance · 3 years ago

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Aeryn, I was wondering looking at your short stories fanfiction for your characters, how do you balance the written version of them and the in-game version? I have tried to write but then I tend to level up faster than my writing side can keep up. How do you get the written Aeryn to translate into XIV? Many characters have been deleted due to I can’t get the two versions to match up. I’ll take any advice or suggestions!

You'll almost always level faster than you write. I don't write chronologically; if I did, I'd never get writing done. I go back and forth in the timeline, based on what feels right at the time.

I take notes; grab important/meaningful quotes, my reactions/thoughts on a particular story beat, maybe a blurb of Aeryn's thoughts and feelings. I keep a rough timeline of notes of how the various parts of the game unfold for Aeryn (and my other OCs). I have a rough idea of who she is at points and track it that way.

I have a lot of blurbs and notes in my WIPs and drafts. Sometimes only a half page long, sometimes several pages. Lot of them are story reactions in the moment that I then sit on and go back to playing the game.

Sometimes a prompt sparks something taking place in ARR, while another prompt suits EW. Sometimes I want to write about a particular moment in her relationship with Thancred. I think about the expac in question, maybe check my notes and blurbs, and write from there.

I play MSQ through on Dark Autumn first. I just enjoy the story, get my reactions out and done. Then when I play on Aeryn, I can get into her mindset and reactions a bit more--but I'm still playing the game, looking at the story again knowing what comes next, but taking notes now with that second play perspective, plus Aeryn's own. Setting up the timeline of events, so when I do write a story for this period, I have an idea of who she is and where she's at. I'm working on who Aeryn is in my mind as I play, lines of dialogue, her reactions. Maybe write little scenes, bits of dialogue, but not full stories. That comes later. They go in the drafts and WIPs notes folder for the expac.

I do want to go back and do a proper full NG+ playthrough on her to rework and solidify some points and moments. But mostly I just made notes and plotted (and revised) the timeline as I went, and worried about writing stories later. I try to keep consistent with earlier writings...but if something ends up being a rewrite cuz I've learned new things about my WoL, or simply came up with something better, I can also roll with that. None of this is set in stone, I can change it.

I have some friends who plowed through the game beginning to end, and then tried to sort their WoL's story; sometimes in bits and pieces here and there, sometimes now going back to write it chronologically. I also know someone who had RP stories, but then things happened and now they're rewriting and reworking their OCs and their fanfic stories and finally figuring their OCs out after playing them for years.

Point is though we simply enjoyed the game as a game; the stories and characters blossom from that ground, but are not tied to it. OCs are ever-shifting, and can surprise you (goodness knows Aeryn has surprised me) if allowed the time to percolate and grow in their own time.

#Final Fantasy XIV #writing #lyn prompts #lyn meta #msq #characters

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shyficwriter · 4 years ago

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Temporary Home: Chapter 14

Guardians of the Galaxy fanfic | Reader x Guardians (With Yondu and Kraglin!)

Summary: The guardians keep trying to include you in various activities to keep your mind off what's troubling you since you won't talk about it. However, one of these activities turns out to have a, shall we say... slightly less than desired outcome.

Previous Chapter here | Next Chapter Here Or click here to: Start From Beginning

Author’s Note: Thank you to @quillsandtypos, @theambracer88, @mcugiggles, @marvelouslyfluffy and all the anons who participated in my questionnaire post! As you probably guessed, I'll be using the answers (and any future ones, if anyone else still wants to play) to complete some fluffy scenes in the story! Also, for my records this chapter ends on day 23 of the Guardians living with reader. Enjoy!

Word Count: 4,683

Rocket, though he finally had a way to repair the device, had decided to wait a bit before actually doing so. Hell, he had waited this long, certain that his smuggling had been in vain once he found one of the parts had broken on... ahem, "departure," so what was another day or two? It was obvious they were going to be here awhile anyway, so he wasn't too rushed.

One might wonder, how was Rocket able to smuggle anything if SHIELD had searched him, already having found and confiscated contraband he had hidden in his "back pocket?"

Well, Rocket wasn't an idiot. He knew of other ways to smuggle goods on his person. Or, in his person, rather. That being said, maybe to say he wasn't an idiot might be giving him a bit too much credit... Swallowing the pieces of a small data pad might not have been exactly the safest thing to do, though he had given himself a pat on the back for rightfully assuming the Terran's wouldn't think to put him through a body scanner.

He had been damned lucky that nothing had gotten lodged or had punctured any of his innards on the way through, but hey, it worked, didn't it?

Well, mostly.

As said, a part had broken on "departure," which he of course blamed on Gamora and Mantis for rushing him in the bathroom that first day. If that bug-eyed chick didn't have such a tiny bladder then he could have allowed for a more "graceful landing."

No matter, he now had a way to fix it thanks to you. This had admittedly softened his attitude towards you the tiniest bit, though he wasn't going to admit it, nor was he going to completely let his guard down. Use of your workshop was probably just another bribe to win his favor, after all. Just like the bed. He was definitely going to take advantage of it, don't get him wrong. He wasn't just not going to use the tools available to him. Just like he wasn't going to just not sleep in the bed you built him. It was better than sleeping in the crib, though he had been grateful the crib had been left in the room when you left the bed. He had been hiding the pieces of the smuggled device under the crib's mattress -the only good use he saw for it, other than the fact that Groot actually slept pretty well in it- because boy, if the others had found out he had smuggled that in, they would have been pissed. Hence, why he wasn't in too big a hurry to fix it just yet.

Perhaps it couldn't hurt to maybe fix that broken stool in the shed for you, though. Just for a warm up, not because he thought he owed you anything, of course.

***

The evening of the check-in you had found yourself with nothing to do and back in the thoughts that had plagued you since the couple came, and you once again considered pouring yourself a glass or two of whiskey.

Yondu had been leaning against the counter enjoying a snack when he saw you retrieve the bottle from the fridge. Remembering the previous night he raised an eyebrow at you. The last thing he wanted was to witness a repeat, but thought he'd still keep an eye on you. Cut you off again before/if you started to look a little too "weepy." He had doubts that you even remembered what you'd done the previous night, and this was confirmed when he made a lighthearted comment about, "Ya goin' to take it easy tonight, or will I be needin' to cut you off again?" and you raised an eyebrow at him before saying, "What? You didn'- Oh right- I think I do remember you taking my drink now that you mention it," as you set the bottle on the table and went to retrieve a glass from the cupboard.

You now sported a slight blush and, pausing your actions, asked, "I um, didn't say or do anything embarrassing to have warranted that, did I?"

Yondu looked you right in the eye, and lied. "Nope. It was just clear ya had a bit much. Figured I'd save yer wimpy Terran liver." He laughed at your slight pout and added, "Ya just whined at me fer takin' yer drink and then fell asleep. Nuttin' too excitin'."

Yondu could see the relief on your face and it solidified his lack of regret of not telling you. Sure, he might have wanted to crack the mystery to see why you were the way you were, but not like that. He hadn't expected the previous night's display, and if anything, it made him feel like he should back off. Yes, it prompted more burning questions, but even he knew there were some things you just didn't pry into.

Around that time Peter and Kraglin came into the kitchen, messing about and horse-playing. You considered telling them to break it up, but then decided you didn't actually care enough as long as they weren't about to break anything... or anyone. You were about to make your standard polite offer of a drink when suddenly a rip was heard and Peter whined out, "Aw man! You ripped my favorite shirt!"

Sure enough, their rough-housing had managed to rip the seam along the left-shoulder of Peter's dark blue shirt, leaving a sizable hole of a couple inches long that revealed another white shirt underneath.

You rolled your eyes and told him where he could find the sewing kit.

Peter looked at you sheepishly and said, "I don't know how to sew."

You sighed and said, "I guess I'm not doing anything..." and you began to walk towards him and the exit of the kitchen, abandoning the bottle of whiskey on the table without having poured a drink.

Peter took off his ripped shirt and in a surprised voice said, "Oh!- Thanks-" starting to hand you the shirt as you walked past.

You didn't take the shirt, just looked at him as a laugh escaped your throat. "I didn't say I'd do it for you. I meant I'll teach you." With that you cocked your head towards the door and headed out towards the sitting room.

As you walked away you shook your head and muttered something Peter couldn't hear but assumed was an insult as he blushed both from embarrassment at his mistake and from hearing Yondu and Kraglin now laughing at him. He wordlessly followed, not wishing to make more of a fool of himself.

Watching Peter leave, inspiration struck Yondu. It might be overstepping, and might have been a long shot, but it was worth a try. He nudged Kraglin in the arm to get his attention. "Ya remember last night? How things got a little too..." he searched for the right word.

Kraglin finished for him, "Sad? Yeah. I remember." He caught sight of the bottle on the table. "She back at it tonight?" He and Yondu hadn't discussed what happened when he had returned to the kitchen after walking you to your room. It had gone unsaid that you were in a bad way.

"She was gonna," Yondu answered, "but then you two came in and gave her something to distract herself. Might not hurt to keep doing that for a bit."

"Ya wanna keep her busy?" Kraglin asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Better than watchin' her drown herself in a bottle," Yondu replied flippantly with a shrug, but Kraglin could see through his blasé attitude.

He was slightly surprised, but not completely opposed to Yondu's suggestion. You had been drinking a lot the past few days. It didn't take a genius to see that something was obviously wrong, and he knew better that drinking like that only made sad feelings worse. If this had been the Eclector, and you part of the crew, he or Yondu would have cut you off well before now once they saw the pit you were digging. You just don't let sad people drink themselves into a stupor. It's bad form. But this wasn't the ship, and you weren't crew, and they couldn't stop you. They were in your house. They've barely known you for three weeks. He knew they couldn't just order you around, but if a little bit of distraction kept him from seeing you looking that sad again and kept you from hiding in the bottom of a bottle, he was for it.

Yondu spoke again, more or less repeating Kraglin's thoughts back at him. "I know we're on her turf, but someone's gotta do somethin'. It's bad form to just let h- to just to let a person drown like that. She needs to get her mind off what's been troubling her."

Kraglin examined the former captain's features. There was something else there. An emotion behind his eyes the first mate was familiar with after years of faithful service. Cap'n might not always be the best at admitting his softer feelings, but Kraglin knew. He could see it.

It was a look similar to the one he wore after he finished telling Rocket just how alike they were, right before they went to fight Ego. It was the same look in his eyes he had shortly after Peter came aboard the Eclector as a boy and it was decided he wasn't going to be delivered to Ego. One Kraglin even thought he recognized being on the receiving end of when he was a younger lad on the crew.

Kraglin smiled, a soft mix of understanding and sadness. "Sir," he said gently.

Yondu grunted in response and glanced at him.

"First, I do agree with ya, we should help keep her mind off it, but I just gotta say this too." He sighed before continuing. He knew Yondu wasn't going to like what he was about to say, but they were alone now, so he felt safe to say it. He knew if he said this in front of anyone else it'd a a surefire way to put Yondu dangerously close to whistling territory. "We can't be getting too attached, now."

Yondu glared at him. "Who said anythin' about-"

"Sir, all respect and all, but I think I can say I know ya better than anyone else here." Kraglin said, having cut Yondu off with a slight chuckle. "I can see it, I can tell when you're getting attached." His tone got slightly more serious, more comforting. "I don't think it'll be good for ya to get too attached, sir. We'll be leaving here eventually, and we know she ain't gonna be coming with us."

Yondu set his mouth in a firm line and stared Kraglin down hard but didn't say anything. He knew his first mate was right, but that didn't mean he had to admit it. Finally he answered with, "I ain't gettin' attached to nuttin' or nobody."

Kraglin sighed. If he knew anything else it was that Yondu could also be stubborn as hell. If he wanted to live in denial, well there wasn't a whole lot he could do about it. "Alright, sir," he said with a shake of his head. "I believe ya." He didn't, and his tone betrayed that, earning him a narrowed eyed look from Yondu, but they dropped the conversation, at least for now.

***

Showing Peter how to sew went fairly smoothly. He seemed to grasp the concept well enough, watching you sew the first third of the tear - not the easiest task with your brace on- and then repeating what you had shown him on the rest himself. He finished soon enough and thanked you before leaving the table.

However, almost immediately after that Kraglin showed up with something ripped and asked if you could teach him too. You sighed, and mildly scolded him about how come he couldn't have asked while you were showing Peter, but you agreed regardless. Again, it wasn't exactly the easiest task considering you only had a limited range of motion to move your arm, but you managed. After he finally seemed to get it (he asked a lot of questions, even if he understood, assuming it'd be helpful to keep you occupied for longer) you noticed it had gotten dark out, and you were tired anyway, and so when it looked like he had a handle on it you decided to just go to bed.

***

The next day it seemed like people just kept asking you to do things. Not like they were ordering you around, but more like asking you to do things with them, which they hadn't often done.

It wasn't all bad, but you had the feeling it wasn't just a coincidence that they were seemingly trying to keep you engaged in various tasks and activities after Maria had informed you that one of them had expressed concerns about your well-being. You didn't know if they were now acting on their own or if Fury or Agent Hill had suggested it, but either way you figured you'd just roll with it. If you made an effort maybe they'd be happy and drop it.

That morning, before you realized what was going on, Mantis came to you with a book on plants and asked you to help her identify different plants around the property. You had almost said no, perhaps another time, but then you saw the expectant look on her happy face and decided you had time to kill anyway, so what could it hurt?

It was about when you were asked by Mantis and Drax to join the others for a game of UNO that you started to suspect what was going on.

Before this, Peter had kept coming up to you wanting to show you funny videos he found, having recently discovered the YouTube app on the TV; Yondu had come to you with an archery book and tried making small-talk asking about Terran types of archery; and Gamora and Kraglin asked you to help ref while everyone sparred.

You had agreed to reffing, feeling a little better than you had been all those days you had refused and now therefore not seeing any reason not to.

It was a slight bummer though, needing to sit on the sidelines and watching others train, but you supposed watching them to see if they knew any cool 'space moves' couldn't hurt. Plus, watching how the raccoon was able to hold his own against human-sized opponents was always interesting. Groot sat with you, not being permitted to spar with the others (except for when Rocket would decide to pretend spar with him, just to make him happy) and he was adorable as he played with the grass, so it wasn't all bad.

After that everyone else was pretty much tired, but Groot came up to you with the car you had given him, holding it above his head. You raised an eyebrow and looked to Peter, who informed you that the little guy wanted you to push him on it. You did, because how could you possibly say no to that?

What was cute to Peter, however, was the fact that no one had prompted Groot to do that. He just genuinely wanted you to play with him.

After a while of playing with Groot is when Mantis and Drax had come to you about playing UNO. Now you were getting a hint of what they were doing, but you agreed to play a few games with them anyway. You even caught yourself actually starting to have fun.

Around suppertime Peter came up to you, asking if you could teach him how to cook something. He talked about how he thought it'd be fun to learn to cook more things from his home world, and also reminded you how you did say several times that he could 'help you cook later.'

You sighed and after some more prodding from Peter you finally agreed, asking him what he might like to learn how to cook.

Peter looked like a deer in the headlights before admitting that he didn't actually know. He didn't remember a whole lot of different Terran foods from when he was a kid, and he was now drawing a blank.

You nodded towards the kitchen and told him the two of you would figure it out.

After looking for a bit you decided on a vegetable stew, mostly because this had been unexpected and you hadn't pulled any meat from the freezer to thaw.

Peter was surprisingly not bad at it. He handled the knife safely, he cut the vegetables evenly, and he listened as you told him what to do and when. You wondered if he had some experience cooking before, but you didn't ask.

After dinner Gamora wouldn't take no for an answer on helping with the dishes, of course using your injury as an excuse. You sighed, but allowed it, agreeing to dry while she washed, still under the impression that if you just indulged them for a bit they'd eventually stop and start leaving you along again.

Just as you finished Peter came to the two of you asking if you wanted to see a new movie he found on Netflix.

Figuring it wouldn't hurt to make an effort, you agreed to watching a movie with them and followed into the sitting room, wondering what film he had picked out.

Turned out, he had chosen a horror movie. Candy Man.

You sighed. Obviously you weren't completely immune to jump scares, but you didn't really mind horror movies. You could even go as far to say that you enjoyed most of them. However, you were concerned about Mantis, who you could see sitting happily on the rug in front of the couch next to Rocket as you entered the room.

"Are you sure this movie is appropriate for everyone?" you ask Peter.

"What? You scARed?" Rocket taunted with a smirk, and it was then that you saw Groot on the rug as well, having been sitting in Rocket's lap.

You roll your eyes and explain that your concerns were for the wooden child and Mantis, as your time spent with them hadn't made you very confident that they would recieve a scary movie well. "I'm more concerned the movie's gonna give them nightmares," you explained as you took a seat at the end of the couch.

Gamora seemed to agree with you, but the two of you were outvoted. Rocket just rolled his eyes and snarked that he bet you were scared, and Mantis assured excitedly that she could watch it. Groot, even though you couldn't understand him, also seemed adamant. You had a feeling they didn't really know what they were getting into, but combined with the fact that Mantis was an adult, and Groot wasn't your child, and Peter was doing his best to convince you and Gamora that everything would be fine, you eventually gave in, stating, "Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you. She better not crawl into my bed tonight. I'll send her your way."

Peter just laughed and shook his head, not taking you seriously, before turning out the lights and taking a seat next to Gamora at the other end of the couch. Kraglin took the last available seat between you and Peter and Rocket smarted off again.

"If you're gonna get scared maybe Kraglin will hold your hand!" he laughed as Peter turned on the film.

You rolled your eyes at him and crossed your arms over your chest, refusing to look at Kraglin to give the rodent any satisfaction that he might have succeeded in embarrassing you. This, Kraglin was grateful for, because he was sort of an easy blusher, and he didn't want you to get the wrong idea. He just gave Rocket an unamused look, but he was also grateful the lights had been dimmed so that Yondu couldn't see him blushing and then tease him for it. Whether or not the former Ravager captain would actually believe Kraglin might have managed to develop feelings for you wouldn't matter. That fact that Kraglin had just told Yondu the previous night that he shouldn't be getting attached would be enough for him to jump on it and tease the hell out of him purely out of spite.

Despite the movie being old, it was still relatively new to you. You had heard about it, thought you remembered seeing a commercial or maybe a clip or two of it over the years, but this had been your first time actually watching it.

It was about halfway though and nothing terribly scary had happened yet. There was the flashback scene of a little boy having been mutilated that made you cringe, as any show that featured little kids being harmed always hit a sore spot, but it didn't really show much more than a bloody bathroom.

You were starting to think it probably wasn't going to be any real scary scenes, but then Candyman started to call the college lady's name, and it actually made you fight a shiver. You didn't know why, but creepy sounds were one of the few things from a film that could actually strike fear in your heart. Thankfully it didn't last long. You weren't looking forward to being teased for jumping or shivering at a movie that wasn't really even that scary.

At least it would mean that Mantis would be unlikely to crawl into your bed scared tonigh-

Candyman just shoved his hook through the college lady's medicine cabinet.

Half of everyone jumped, including you. Among those startled was Kraglin, and he shot you a glance that you purposely didn't return, not wanting to answer to any cocky smiles or teases accusing you of being scared.

A shot came on the screen centering on the baby Candyman took and you tensed, worried he was going to kill it, but you were relieved to see that he only let it suckle on his finger.

Kraglin felt you tense and then relax beside him, and he frowned, remembering the other night. He considered asking if you were alright, but then thought better of it and held his tongue, instead watching on as a scene played where the lady was now stuck in a mental hospital, having been believed to have killed her best friend and said baby from the previous scene.

Yondu didn't think he liked this movie, but he continued to watch in silence. He didn't want to see kids being hurt, and he had also tensed at the previous scene. Like you, he was sure that the bad guy was about to kill the baby. However, as he was sitting in his usual spot in the armchair, his tension went unnoticed.

Mantis let out a short scream when the lady summoned Candyman and he killed the psychiatrist. You sighed, realizing this wasn't looking good for her staying in her own bed tonight. Little did Peter know, you hadn't been kidding. If she tries to crawl in with you, you're sending her right to him, seeing as it would be his fault.

The lady was now exploring Candyman's lair, and you started to get a little tense at the creepy sounds of his breathing, and you mentally cursed whoever mixed the sound for this movie.

You got even more tense and fidgety when he opened his robe to reveal a ribcage full of bees. You only hoped no one noticed to tease you for it. Body horror was another thing that never failed to make you shudder.

Eventually the movie started to come to a close, a scene played where the lady's jerk ex-fiancé was having flashbacks to how good he had it with her now that she was dead, and you thought it was just going to end on a sad note.

That is, until he said her name, Helen, five times in the mirror (just like Candyman) and she came back and killed him with the Candyman's hook. Her sudden appearance made you startle slightly, and you heard more squeals from Mantis. You sighed again. Yep, she was definitely not going to sleep tonight.

The movie was finally over and Peter got up to turn on the lights. He turned to see you giving him a glare and he smiled. "What? Was it too scary for you?" he jeered.

You just pointed down to Groot. He had his head buried in Rocket's chest and was softly whimpering. "I told you that movie wasn't for kids."

Rocket scoffed at you and told you he would be fine, then turned it on you, saying how he felt you jump at least three times from where he was sitting.

You rolled your eyes and ignored him, turning to Peter and this time gesturing to Mantis, who still looked a bit shaken. "I meant what I said. She tries to crawl in bed with me, I'm sending her to you," you say, leaving to go to go get ready for bed, both because it was now late, and to avoid any inevitable further teasing from Rocket.

The others seemed to have much the same idea about bedtime, and a few of them followed you up the stairs.

You let Mantis shower first, hopeful that if you went after her that she might hopefully be asleep by the time you got out. However, when you finished your own shower, Peter had thought it'd be funny to jump-scare you as you exited the bathroom, grabbing your shoulders and shouting, "CANDYMAN'S GOTCHA!" which resulted in you jumping a mile with a noise you'd deny was a shriek before you turned to punch him in the arm scolding, "Damn you!"

He, along with Rocket, only responded by laughing their asses off at you. You thought you could also hear Drax's own booming laughter down the hall from his room, and you caught a glimpse of Yondu and Kraglin sharing amused glances and snickering from their shared room.

Your face getting warm at the fact that he had actually managed to get you pretty good, you then just storm off to your room, ignoring Rocket's teases that he bet that you'd be the one crawling into Mantis's bed tonight.

You shut the bedroom door behind you to see Mantis awake and clutching her bear for dear life. Whether she was just already awake due to nerves or you had woken her with your startled cry, you didn't know, but you flicked on your desk lamp for her, turned out your overhead light and crawled into bed without a word.

Sometime later, long enough for you to have drifted off into a decently sound enough sleep to be dreaming, you were startled awake by someone crawling into your bed.

Guess who. That's right. Mantis.

You groaned and turned to see she had already crawled halfway into your bed before you stopped her by rousing. "Mantis," you groaned, pointing towards the door, "go climb into Peter's bed. He's the one that chose the movie."

Mantis tucked her chin sheepishly and admitted she had already tried that, but his and Gamora's door had been locked.

You stared at the ceiling and sighed. Clever bastard.

You made a mental note to squirt lemon juice in his coffee in the morning before letting out another groan. "Ugh, fine. But just this once," you allowed, ignoring the fact that this would actually technically be the second time. You were also not actually quite as salty as you let on. If anything, you should maybe thank her for waking you from a bad dream involving the Candyman's ribcage full of bees, but you weren't going to tell her that.

She smiled gratefully and thanked you as she snuggled in.

You sighed quietly and Mantis fell asleep quickly. At least she didn't snore.

You spent the next bit before you fell asleep yourself contemplating different ways that you might be able to annoy Peter for sufficient payback.

#gotg #gotg fanfiction #guardians of the galaxy #x reader #yondu lives #scary movies #candyman #yondu udonta #kraglin obfonteri #rocket racoon and groot #mantis #peter quill #starlord

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life-rewritten · 4 years ago

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OMG!! I just found your blog through a WBL fan sharing your post about WBL on Instagram, and I am SOOOOO happy to see that you noticed and appreciate the tutor and fighter couple from Why R U series too. If possible, please write an analysis about this couple, about any specific aspect you deem as most important or just generally, whatever you are okay with. I love reading your analysis and the insights it gives me, and I just finished binge reading all of your writings on my favorite bl (1)

Hi wow mindblown by this comment Thank you so much for letting me know that my stuff is being shared I really appreciate that and I am so grateful that you took time of your day to come speak to me. I adore Fighter and Tutor, like they’re my favourite couple ever. What happened when why r u was airing was I wasn’t yet analysing BLs at that time otherwise I would have been writing essays and essays about them. Because it’s been so long since I went back to watch them I’m going to let you see some of my drafts on how I would have broken their relationship into pieces and analysed. Because they are incredible and I really always feel sad when people see them as just like a se*ual couple when there’s more to them than that. So I will let you see the first drafts and my ideas on them through this ask and I hope that's okay for now. Maybe after my other shows I will like go back and rewatch them and start analysing more about them. If I do I’d probably do a youtube video about them because they’re so good.

Here’s some of the analysis for them that I wrote:

The theme for these two is the struggle with internalised homophobia and self-acceptance. They both had this obstacle in themselves as they fell for each other and tried hard to avoid and run away from what they felt. It’s been a long journey for them being into each other since the first time they met but not really realising what they felt. Fighter did but he went into extreme panic mode and tried to run away immediately he felt that. So he tried to stay by Tutor’s side through the teasing and bullying because Tutor made him feel great and happy always but then with pressure from his father and the path he was meant to take to keep on being seen as successful, he thought his feelings for Tutor were useless and wrong. Plus he didn’t know if it was reciprocated so that caused even more fear for him which is why he just stayed with teasing and finally kater in thinking Tutor likes Hwa he chose to pull her away from him by taking her attention but also he chose to keep what they have as enemies/haters that way and avoid being near Tutor. This is why they end up hating each other a lot by the beginning of Why R U which is like 3 years later or something after he chose to stay with Hwa.

Tutor didn’t understand fully why he got angry, jealous and annoyed, he had an inclination from the first year that Fighter liked men and he was actually hopeful about it because deep down he had feelings of wanting to also flirt with Fighter, wanting to stay with Fighter even when annoyed him and bullied him. He liked Fighter’s softness at times and he liked the way he felt even though he didn’t understand why he was so rifled and affected by Fighter’s presence when no one else has been able to do that to him before. But he became upset when Fighter chose to date Hwahwa because it was his automatic issue with IH that of course Fighter doesn’t like him but he likes girls, so he got jealous and sad and proceeded to also dislike Fighter because he had this effect on him whilst still trying to date his best friend who had feelings for Fighter.

They both have had unknowingly pent up feelings for each other, so once Fighter breaks the barrier by their first kiss, they both go into extreme panic and they both could no longer pretend any more with what they have. Which is why the first episodes they both keep struggling to keep their attraction with each other quiet because its been 3 years since they wanted each other that way. Fighter has so much pent up attraction and needs to give into his feelings that each time they have a chance to break that barrier it’s intense and crazy. Both have been longing, pining secretly for each other since the beginning of the show. What happens next is for Fighter he has to choose to finally accept that he cares a lot, a lot , a lot about Tutor, he finally starts to learn more about this person he loves and he starts to want to protect and keep Tutor happy and by his side. When it comes to finally choosing to let go of Hwa and choose to fight for Tutor and start knowing if he feels the same way. It’s a leap of faith he takes when he breaks up with Hwa. He realises he’s the one stopping his wishes from happening with Tutor because he keeps being in denial about what they are because he’s scared it’s only him that’s gay and has feelings for the other.

It’s only after tutor sister tells him that he’s holding back his feelings does he realise that it’s time to talk about their unstable relationship and Fighter at that moment had also come to terms with his break up with Hwa after making out with tutor revealed the truth, that’s why on the rooftop they do a test that ultimately breaks their walls down and choose to give in to their feelings no matter how scared they are about it being reciprocated. When Tutor looks away and loses the game it’s a symbol to Fighter that he’s also been the same as him from the start. Tutor looks away sadly thinking he’s the one who has the feelings but Fighter just loses it and lets him know its equal which is why I love that scene so much because for so long both of them because of IH has been avoiding thinking the other had the same feelings for them when they both from the start have felt love for a long time. And from then they go on a journey to learn about what this means, if it’s real feelings and not just attraction hence their beach vacation which is essentially them asking if they could love each other and be in a real relationship, and if they can take on their obstacles around them. The beach solidifies for them their feelings so they choose each other for life hence the earring and necklace. But it’s fast paced how they feel because it’s just confirmation, now Tutor starts to realise that Fighter is actually different than he thought he was and he falls so fast, he now realises how much he loves Fighter and how much Fighter made him want to fight for his happiness and life. Tutor has not had hope for happiness and ease in his life, because he’s always had to fight to survive on his own. So when Fighter shows up like a prince charming and constantly is connected to saving him time and time again, it’s exactly him realising there’s someone who does represent that hope that he’d be fine. Hence why the final obstacle is Tutor regressing and starting to think because of IH and society that he and Fighter are just a pipe dream.

They go back to face the world only for Fighters father to bring back all the fear, internalised homophobia and obstacles they had. Fighter panics and thinks he was right; the reason why he never told Tutor his feelings was because he was afraid the other would break his heart (was not gay, did not have feelings for him, would make fun of him etc) so when Tutor breaks up with him he loses his mind after trying hard to let go. When he sees that actually Tutor is taunting him and is still flirting with a guy, not him, he proceeds drunk and upset to try and get back moments from the beach scene/ past make out scenes to keep that spark alive but realises Tutor is not okay this time and he’s the one forcing it. He also acted out because with them the truth comes out each time they’re physical with other romantically. It’s a kiss that caused them to finally tell each other how they felt. That’s always been the way they break their walls down.

It’s what causes him to break down and finally reveal the truth he’s loved Tutor since he met him, he’s just been afraid of all that’s happening even if it’s happening he still wants to be with Tutor. Tutor however breaks his heart even more so he backs off. Tutor on the other hand is broken and mentally exhausted back to depression, back to having to fake being strong and deal with the futility of hope and joy in his life as he’s always been used to. He gets seen by Fighter and doesn’t have it on him to fight him away, so decides to stay in an idealistic fantasy, tells him to hold him and breaks his walls down again. Tutor is always having to fake being strong because it’s how he survives so whenever Fighter enters his world his vulnerability scares him, that’s why his sister gives him the image of a cactus. He’s tough and sharp or pretends to be with his demeanour but actually he’s just a boy who wants to be happy and be safe and survive. So when Fighter shows up at his weakest moments, as he struggles to deal with his mental exhaustion and heart break, he gives in because again Fighter represents to him that hope. He starts to waver and want to stay in that lie for a long time with Fighter. Hence when he wakes up and Fighter is gone he thinks its all over and he finally breaks down completely.

Only when Fighter goes he breaks down in anguish truly thinking he lost him. Fighter finally comes out to his dad and fights his views, And we end up back at the beach, a place which represented authenticity and truth for them, it’s their truest realest self, but it also was their escapism. So Fighter coming there and letting Tutor know there’s no more obstacles in their way makes them both finally equally start a stable relationship with no more fear or care about anything. These twos relationship is full of tension and they both feel the chemistry, like magnets their bodies are drawn together, every scene they’re in, it’s their love language physical touch not bl fan service. They just naturally want to be in contact with each other and also their pent up feelings leads to them constantly wanting to sleep together because of hormones and well because they enjoy their se*ual life, nothing bad about that it’s realistic for couples to be that horny, that needy and that touchy.

It’s people who don’t get the context of internalised homophobia and what being in the closet is like for people with this anxiety and self hate caused by how they think society views them and treats them if out, those are the people who think there was no plot. Every dialogue these two had, their flashbacks and their acting (eyes, facial gestures, touches) showed why Fighter liked teasing Tor, why he dated Hwa but never paid her attention, why we had the beach scenes, why the break up escalated, why Tutor gave in when ill, why the non/dubious consent scene happened, why they get back together and why they told each other I love you forever immediately after they got together. Every single part adds up. It really is insane to me how people don’t see their real story to this day or see them as such a great storyline for BL. I would never get it.

#fightertutor #saintzee #fighter x tutor #thai bl #bl series #bl drama #fvete #march #wrpup #asks #why r u

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your-eternal-muse · 5 years ago

Text

You Gave Her Your Sweater

Heather Series Part 11

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

Bonus!:Readers Card Confession Bonus!:To Hold On, To Let Go, Spencers take Bonus!:Series Playlist

Summery: Reader runs into Heather while wearing Spencer’s sweater, solidifying the difference in their relationships.

Words: 1.5k

Warnings: Swearing, pregnancy, mentions of cheating

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

A/N: Okay guys, the next chapter is the last one! And I promise its gonna be so fucking long, and so fucking cute it’ll give you cavities. I’m gonna give you the good shit. The next couple weeks I might be a little slower at posting because I submitted an application for an apartment me and my sister want, and I’m fairly certain were gonna get it, so I’ll be busy packing and stuff. Thank you for your continued support!

~~~~~

I never liked grocery shopping.

I know it’s essential, but the task itself is so draining, so boring.

Even still, I can’t help but wander around, buying shit that looks good that I absolutely do not need.

I know you’re not supposed to go when you’re hungry, but I can’t help it.

I guess that’s an upside of being married to the man I am.

While one of his hands is situated in the back pocket of my jeans, the other holds a piece of paper that holds our grocery list, and he is a stickler for keeping to it.

He’s subtly leading me down the aisles as I push the cart, which is already half full of what we need.

Grocery shopping with Spencer is different.

It doesn’t feel like a chore when he’s with me.

It also cuts the time by at least half, because he doesn’t let me stray from the list.

But I’ve had a special circumstance these past few months.

“You know what sounds so good right now?” I ask him, as he begins to lead me down the cereal aisle.

“What’s that baby?”

He removes his hand from my pocket, reaching up to grab a box off the top shelf.

“Shrimp. With cocktail sauce.”

My mouth starts to water just thinking about it.

He laughs, walking back to me, placing it in our cart.

“You hate shrimp.”

I roll my eyes. “I also hate pickles, but last week I couldn’t stop eating them. And besides,” I run my hands over my growing belly. “It’s not my fault.”

He smiles, shaking his head, coming forward to rest his hands on top of mine, leaning down and kissing the tip of my nose.

“I’ll go get you some. While you,” he slips the list into the front pocket of the sweatshirt I’m wearing. “Continue shopping.”

“Thank you, Spence.”

“Anything for my girls.”

His hands come to lift the hood over my head, pulling the string, shrinking it around my face.

“I’m never gonna get my sweatshirt back am I?”

I shake my head. “I’m gonna be buried in this thing.”

He rolls his eyes before leaning down and placing a gentle kiss on my lips.

“It looks better on you anyways. I’ll be right back.”

He turns and walks back down the aisle, only to turn back and say “Don’t stray from the list!”

I raise my hands defensively. “I won’t!”

I watch as he disappears around the corner before reaching into the cart and pulling out the box of cheerios, doing my best to place it back on the shelf.

“How can he like cheerios? Fuckin’ weirdo, Reese's Puffs are where it’s at.”

I grab the orange box, only pausing when I feel a kick against my side.

“I’m gonna assume you agree with me. Cheerios are nasty. Don’t worry, we’ll make daddy see.”

Another movement, and my hand finds the place against my side, pressing lightly. “Okay, baby girl, mama still has to shop.”

“You’re wearing his sweater.”

I pause my movements, my hand still resting on my stomach.

It can’t be.

I mean it can, you do live in the same area that she does.

I turn, to see Heather standing in the middle of the aisle, her gaze falling down to my stomach, and then back up to the lettering across my chest that says ‘CalTech’.

I shove my hands into the front pocket, not really sure what to say.

“I was cold, and I forgot mine at my place when he gave it to me.” I take my left hand out to brush some hair out of my face, letting her see the diamond ring that rests on my finger.

“He never offered one to me. Even when I forgot mine.” Her hands are in her front pockets of her jeans, and she doesn’t meet my eye.

I shrug.

Is that supposed to make me feel bad for you?

“I don’t know what you want me to say to that, Heather.”

It’s quiet for a moment, as much as it can be in the middle of a grocery store.

She’s the one to break the silence. “How far along are you?”

None of your fucking business bitch.

“6 months.” I cradle my stomach with my hands, smiling down at it. “We’re having a girl.”

She shuffles from side to side, running her hands over her jeans, her arms, through her hair.

I can’t help being proud of the fact that even six months pregnant, I still make her nervous.

“You know, we talked about having kids. Or well, I talked.” It’s then that she finally meets my eye. “He told me he didn’t want any.”

I let a smirk slide over my face. “Spencer loves kids. Even before we got together he always said he wanted kids.” I look her up and down. “Guess he just didn’t want any with you.”

It’s been three years. It’s been a long time, and I know Spencer’s over her. I know I should throw her a bone, ease up on the sarcasm and poison laced words.

But she hurt him. She broke him. It took months for him to fully admit that he did love her in some way, shape or form, and that the betrayal of that love hurt.

I would never forgive her for that, no matter what she did. No matter if he does.

The look of hurt passes over her face, but then a crying child is heard behind her and she turns.

I look over her shoulder, and the man I saw that night at the bar is walking towards her with a spitting image of her in the seat.

The child is crying over something I couldn’t really decipher, and I see her shoulders tense as his eyes meet mine.

I take in the ring on his finger, the one on hers, and finally look at how old her daughter is.

She knows, and turns back to me, panic slapped across her face.

“How old is she?”

She swallows, and her husband is trying to get her to stop crying. “She’s two and half.”

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what that implies.

It’s just one thing after another, isn’t it?

“You gotta be kidding me. Are you fucking serious right now?” I cross my arms over my chest, cocking an eyebrow.

She starts to pick at her cuticles. “I didn’t find out until after the divorce was finalized. My doctor said I got pregnant at the end of April.”

She was pregnant with another man's baby for almost 2 and half months, while being married to him.

Buckle up baby, I’m about to rock this bitches shit for a second time.

“You were going to pass it off as his, weren’t you? You were going to fuck him, and than two weeks later tell him that you were pregnant.”

I take a step forward, anger boiling in my chest. “You know he’s a fucking genius right? He’d do the math in .2 seconds and figure it out? What is with you and thinking you can get away with this shit?”

He must have sensed a disturbance in the force, because not two seconds later he comes around the corner, holding my snack in his hands, only to pause when he takes in the scene.

His eyes flicker to me, then to Heather, the baby, and finally the man, who is puffing his chest to try and appear like the alpha male he thinks he is.

His hands tighten around the container of shrimp, before walking past all three of them, coming to stand behind me, tossing the container into the cart, one hand back in my back pocket, the other in his front.

He stares down Heather, his eyes going back to the child every couple of seconds.

I know he’s doing the math in his head, and he figured it out probably faster than I did.

“Unbelievable.”

She pinches the bridge of her crooked nose, looking up to say something but I cut her off.

“Don’t. You have nothing to prove to us. You made your choice, now you have to live with it.” I look at the man behind her.

“Not even half the man.”

Spencer turns towards me, his chest moving to contain laughter at the look on her face.

Not giving her a chance to get the last word, I turn, and push the cart down the rest of the aisle, turning it as I hear her start to yell at him and her daughter.

He pulls me into an empty one a few rows down, turning me to face him as he leans down and kisses me.

I wish I could kiss him forever.

“I love you so much, you don’t even know.”

I grab his hands and place them on my stomach, where our daughter was making herself comfortable. “I think I have an idea.”

He laughs, his eyes not leaving my stomach as he feels her movements.

After a few moments, he removes his hands, grabbing one of my own as he turns me back around to keep shopping.

“Really?” He points to the box of Reese's Puffs.

“What? The list said cereal, Reese's puffs are cereal!”

He shakes his head, kissing the top of my head.

“Whatever you say, dear.”

Permanent Tag List: @criminalcow @pinkdiamond1016 @eternityofaxiom @you-had-me-at-hello-dear @marvels-gurl @theamuz @write-from-the-heart @sungieeeeeee @mjloveskids666 @chococerealmilk @itzsoff @gia-kerks @doctorspencereid @imsuperawkward @andreasworlsboring101 @itsmoony @cielo1984 @heistmaster69 @nevvvv @theseuscmander @complementaryvacuum @waywardswain @lindaze @urie-bowie-mercury @spencerreidsimptime

Heather Tag List: @drsoftboyreid @racerparker @avaholcombe @rodgertayloroof @stephanieisgay330 @swiftspaperings @rainsong01 @darthseph @liaabsurd @tracyn910 @holypicklelightnickel @pianofirepirate @radtwinkie @madcrazy50 @bweakmybonez @constantlywishingonstars @l0ve-0f-my-life @expressiodepressio @flannelpjpants @x-midnight-violets-x @kwyloz @todaynotseen @caitlin-f @mylovehes @yoongi-holland @vamp-army @realimbo @stardream14 @magicbeanssss @jessaminelovelace @darthvadersturd @nikkilikewhoa @mellifluouswildbluebells @lex-rodgers-sheild @crist1216 @voguekristen @doctorspencrreid @girlwithcrocs @harryscherrymoon @cherriesnwatermelons @heyitssomegirl101 @mollygetssherlockcoffee @colorfulsunflowerx @falcon-arrows @hereforbeebo @legallyplatinumblonde @thatsonezesty13

#spencer reid #spencer reid series #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x Female!Reader #criminal minds series #criminal minds #cm #mathew gray gubler #song fic #heather #conan gray

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fracturedmoonlight · 4 years ago

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Hi! Aspiring Sims 2 modder here. I'm asking a bunch of my favorite modders. Do you have any advice for beginners on working with BHAVs? Any tutorials you recommend or easy projects to start with? Useful background info? I know there's a lot of trial and error involved, but I was wondering if there's a better approach to learning about them than just looking at other people's mods and trying to figure out what on earth those BHAVs mean. Thanks again for all that you do!

Hello! Always exciting to see people who have become interesting in modding! I can try to help but honestly not sure how good I'll be at it. I'm mostly going to tell you what worked for me and some ‘modding life advice’.

Honestly what helped me the most? Breaking it down. If you find a tutorial you can follow successfully...rewrite it to fit how your own mind keeps track of how to do the steps. For example, this is how I learned to do overlay boxes...and I broke down an 18 page tutorial (when copied over from a blog post and mind you there were pictures included) down to just two pages of step 1 - whatever. Most tutorials are old and haven’t been rewritten for current years, but most are doable as the functions don’t change much. Also, compare them. If you find more than one tutorial on the same subject, see what same steps they’re following. Picking apart other people’s mods can also help you understand those tutorials. Or see they found a better way to do the same thing. An example here...the code I use for @sunmoon-starfactory inventory detection, can be very different from what @mortia-laura use. Both achieve the same goal (detecting and deleting/adding to a sim’s inventory), but go about it in seperate ways. If I recall, my way is longer (at least on the data entry side) but I’m more comfortable with it because it’s what I know. Neither is wrong.

Another thing? Understand your limits. It's no secret that I get help from other people on some modding aspects because my brain literally cannot wrap around them. I'm talking things like primitive arguments and other things I deem "math". Which is mostly numbers. I don't deviate from what numbers I don't know, I don't stress out. But add in something new there? Learning curve for sure. Basically, know that you're not going to master everything. Few creators rarely do, and that's okay. Find your niche, improve it, and be happy with it. Of course if you want to branch out after you're comfortable, go fo it!

That being said, have a support circle that does understand what your yourself don't, and ask! I know it's scary to ask other "big name modders" out there sometimes...but honestly, most aren't scary. Personal example...I never imagined @midgethetree would have helped me. She's so smart and seems way above my pay grade if you will, but she's actually super nice (and knows how to explain things to me like I'm five...which I like! I learn best in simple steps!) and is always there to just hear me whine sometimes. It's usually about a misplaced zero where there should be a one. I also know I can count on @davinaojeda, @fireflowersims, @mortia, @veetiesims2, @nixedsims, @gayars, and so many more. To add on to that, find a supportive discord to help connect with others. Most of the ‘new’ or ‘updated’ information seems to be passed around on those.

Now here’s the most important thing and I’m writing this with myself in mind also as I recently suffered a bout of it. Whatever you make, make sure it’s how you want it. There are going to be a lot of opinions thrown at you. Some helpful and some that perhaps make the project such a giant monster it makes you want to rage quit. You won’t please everyone. You can’t. You can try, but it’s going to drive you crazy. So always take a step back, ask yourself why you’re making something and then answer if it meets your original intention. If it does and you’re happy, stick to your guns. Don’t let people push you into something you have no interest in or don’t want to do. The Sun&Moon Woodworking set gave me this problem...it was huge to begin with and was stressing me out and making me anxious because I knew I couldn’t please everyone. Got some advice on how to make it seem manageable, and that’s when I solidified my idea of what products it makes. Upon release, I got A LOT of messages from people who were asking for ‘more types/amounts/can you change it so this item comes from it’. It made me feel like I’d failed to deliver what people expect...but stepping back, it produces exactly what I want it to for my game. That’s what matters. I made something to enhance my game, it does what I want it to do, and sorry if others aren’t happy it doesn’t do more but that’s how it is. If you feel like it, add options for people who don’t agree with your choices (looking at Livestock here...heck even I use the force options!), and if they can’t be happy even then...well that’s just going to have to be their problem. Or if you know how to properly instruct people take what I call the Midge Approach, and explain how to change a particular behavior of the mod.

So when you do start modding and people ask you questions like this (which is still weird for me honestly) remember that you are not indebted to anyone (unless you take a commission of course but that’s different), you own no one anything, and in any particular way. No two simmers play their games the same and you can’t account for it all. Create for YOU first, and share when you’re happy with your results. Don’t feel bad if you don’t answer messages that make you angry because you suddenly feel like you didn’t do what other people wanted. Yeet them and continue to create what makes you happy. Create to make your game better, don’t create for the sake of people pleasing or popularity.

I know this post isn’t full of links and such to old/new tutorials but I still feel these are important pieces of “background information” to have when you get into this modding scene. I still struggle to remember some of this stuff and have to remind myself. We’re all our own worst critics and judges already, no need to let other people add to that.

#ask #answer #question #frac #fractured moonlight #fracturedmoonlight #sun&moon #modding

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m-y-fandoms · 4 years ago

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COMMISSION: Joker/Akira/Ren x Reader Part 2

Part 1

This is gonna be many more parts... I can already tell

Word Count: 2.2k

SFW, SLOW BURN romance friends to lovers, gender neutral reader, anyone can enjoy it and place themselves as the reader!

- Admin Myah

You spent your entire free period up on that roof, hoping by some miracle that you weren’t crazy, that the group of second-year students that had seemingly vanished before your eyes were in fact pranking you, and upon seeing that you weren’t amused, would get tired of hiding and pop out, finishing the surprise. No such luck, however, and so you left, the second-period bell forcing your hand. Spending the first period of your day - a bit of free time meant for studying, finishing homework, or otherwise enriching yourself educationally - up on the roof and unaccounted for by any teachers was a bit risky already, and you were a decent enough student. There was no way you could just sit there all day, skipping the rest of your classes. Sighing, you resolved to just give up the hunt for your destined main character and by extension the group of potential new friends.

＊

Often after school, you headed to the library, which stayed open along with a select few other areas of Shujin for student use after the last bell rang. Today, however, you felt drawn back to that place, back to that rooftop where you’d seen Akira, Ryuji, and Ann disappear hours earlier. It just wasn’t sitting right with you; you felt a stirring in your soul, like a tiny voice in your head, a shimmering blue butterfly in your stomach. Lucky for you, the rooftop was also open, though you’d never really spent time there. Certain students, including another third-year you admired raised plants up there where the sun could reach them, while others simply came up there for the view or the breeze, some private space to study.

Today, the breeze was indeed blowing, and you sat there writing as it whistled past your ears, polishing up some plot points, scrawling down ideas for your protagonist straight from the imagination, since it seemed you wouldn’t be finding any real-life inspiration anytime soon. It was frustrating, writer’s block, and for the past month or so, it’s all you could do to write a single paragraph. You always found yourself lost in the pages of the novels you loved, and you could identify great writing, appreciate the artistry of another writer, but it was sometimes so hard to put your own thoughts down on the pages of your journal. Why was it so hard? You knew what real romance was. You knew which themes and cliches were overdone and unrealistic. You had a mature and healthy outlook on real relationships and could pick apart the stereotypical female protagonist who was strong and independent until she met the man who would break down her walls or the toxic bad boy who women loved on paper but would cry their eyes out over in real life. You’d read thousands of books and fan-fiction, listened to hundreds of audiobooks, watched tons of romance movies, so why, lately, was it not clicking?! Where was the disconnect between having thoughts and transcribing said thoughts down into your very own masterpiece? Fantasy came so easily to you, sci-fi, non-fiction essays for class, mysteries, research papers, but romance, the genre you loved the most, seemed to purposely elude you.

You were shaken out of your frazzled state when something caught your attention out of the corner of your eye. Shaking your head a bit to try and focus your vision, you looked over your shoulder to see that the black spot on the fringe of your blind spot was in fact actually there. You rubbed your eyes just to be sure, but there it was, a wavering black inky spot hovering in the air. Another appeared, then another, now red in color. You were beginning to feel insane for the second time that day, but rather safe than sorry, you quickly stood, shoving your work and pencils into your bag and shuffling away from the blobs, which were now oscillating and dancing around each other, phasing in and out of existence like a fisheye lens. This was a bit too freaky for your liking, and you were beginning to feel a frightening chill up your spine. The hairs on the back of your neck stood up, and you elected to put some kind of barrier of safety between yourself and the floating bubbles. Like any rational person, your mind was screaming “unknown situation: possible threat: run!” but again, that little butterfly in the pit of your guts was saying there was something worth staying for. So, running to the door to the roof, you swung it open, a ringing in your ear starting to buzz and chime. You closed it frantically, pressing your nose up against the small glass windows that allowed a limited view of the roof. A small gasp escaped your lips, and you instinctively grabbed onto your bag a bit tighter.

The red and black splotches began to dissipate and fade like some kind of glitch in reality, and three figures appeared like mist, like ghosts before beginning to solidify and slowly become tangible silhouettes. Then, as if some kind of magic ritual was coming to a close, the figures poofed into existence, and your brain processed the scene before you.

“Holy shit…” you whispered. There, clear as day were Sakamoto, Takamaki, and the new kid. They were just standing adjusting their clothes, stretching their arms and legs, situating their personal items. It was just then that you saw a little furry head poke up out of Akira’s school bag. Your harsh, analytical gaze softened a bit upon seeing the small black cat that appeared. Had he been carrying that cat around all day? Surely not, right? How would he keep it quiet and still? “What the…?” The inquisitive glare returned to your features when they began… speaking to the cat. It wasn’t the cute baby talk people often use with their pets, either. It was a full-on, serious conversation, and the cat was meowing back, clearly, in response to their statements.

It was a bit muffled by the thick door, but you could make out bits and pieces.

Metaverse? Palace. Shadows... treasure? Kamoshida? Great, that asshole, but what could he have to do with this? What even was this?

You were questioning everything you knew. You were wondering if the juice you had this morning at breakfast was spiked. There was no winning in this scenario, either you were crazy, or these kids were. You looked downward, contemplating your navel as your mind tried to make sense of the events of today. You glanced up again, trying to eavesdrop a little better, get some more detail. You took a step closer, trying to will the sound of their voices through the door to be just a little louder, just a little clearer, when Sakamoto suddenly pivoted, stretching and cracking his spine with a sigh.

“Gah!” You shouted out. His eyes met yours through the window and widened like a kid caught in the cookie jar. You jumped with a start, taking a cautionary step back and nearly tumbling down the stairs. It was a miracle you caught yourself in time, but your little outburst had definitely caught the attention of the group. Your cover was thoroughly blown. “Oh, no…” You cursed under your breath, spotting both Ann and Akira’s eyes on you now as well.

“Shit! Do you think they saw?” Ryuji’s hands flew to his hair, mussing and working out his frustrations on the dyed strands while simultaneously, Akira was already in motion, rushing toward the door to apprehend the unwelcome listener.

Your heartbeat sped up, and like a gazelle spotted by a lion, a fire was lit under you and you began to sprint, clumsily fumbling down the stairwell and onto the flat platform where the stairs rotated 90 degrees and continued downward. Inhaling sharply, your foot, nervous and supporting jelly-like legs, missed the final step. Your belongings, along with your body, spilled across the square, flat platform, and the door behind you slammed open.

“Hey!” Akira’s yell echoed through the stairwell, and your thoughts bounced off the walls just like his voice. Scrambling, you scooped only the essentials into your hands: your journal, the phone of course, a few homework binders, ditching the easily replaceable items like chewing gum and pencils. Taking to one scraped-up knee and ready to bolt, you felt a hand close upon your bicep and clamp down firmly. “Hey, hey… slow down.” Akira again, now gentler with his tone, spun you around to face him. You stood clutching your things to your chest like a life preserver. “I’m not gonna like… kill you or anything.” A breathy chuckle, and now he was on the platform next to you, scanning you up and down for injuries with his hands in his pockets. “So, uh… so don’t kill yourself by fallin’ down these stairs, huh?” He played off the tense feeling in the air with humor, but the sheer proximity of him, standing there in front of you mere inches away in the cramped space, it was like you could hear your blood pounding in your ears.

What was he thinking right now? Did he think you were some weirdo stalker? I mean, you’d just met him this morning and now you were watching him through a small window like a creep after school… after following him there. Wait, that wasn’t important right now! Was he going to kill you? He didn’t seem like the type of guy to do that, but then again, he didn’t seem like the type to phase in and out of existence either… neither did Ryuji and Ann… what were people with powers like that capable of?

Right now, you were just going to mind your business, and play it safe. It wasn’t worth getting mixed up with people who warp through a “metaverse” and talk to animals just for some good writing material, not if it turned out to be dangerous.

“Well…” you hesitated, “it’s none of my business, what I just saw, and I won’t tell anyone.” You breathed a little easier, tried to regain your composure, to not look too weak.

“So they did see! Awww, shit!” Ryuji’s head popped through the door, interrupting the uncomfortable conversation, and the hot air of the enclosed space was cut through by a gust of wind from the now open rooftop door.

“Now, just hold on, Ryuji,” Akira held out one hand to placate his rather temperamental friend.

“No, no really it’s fine that you talk to your… cat and just… vanish... and I’m sure it’s all fine and multiverse-y and…”

“Metaverse.” Akira corrected you with a small smile, bending down to pick up the rest of your scattered objects.

“Dude!” Ryuji ran a hand down his face in defeat.

“They saw us, no point in being tight-lipped,” he stood, handing them to you.

“Metaverse… right,” you took them, watching every move he made carefully. “Sorry, I’m… a bit more... eloquent in my writing,” you moved to the side, ready to sneak past and descend the rest of the stairs. Anything to get on with your day and escape this unbelievable situation. Akira shuffled, mirroring you and completely blocking the stairwell. There was something clever about him, something sharp and charismatic. He knew exactly what he was doing, what he wanted to achieve, and he knew how to calmly and smoothly execute his plans, unlike Sakamoto, who was far less… organized.

“Writing…?” He was keeping you locked into this conversation, as gently and amiably as he could, and you were not leaving until he was sure he could trust your word.

“Uh… yeah, that’s why I was up…” your eyes met his, quickly recoiling and looking toward the floor again, “...up on the roof. I was just looking for a quiet place to write.”

“What, uh, what kind of stuff do you write?” Ann had now joined Ryuji at the top of the stairs, leaving you feeling completely caged in. Ann threw Akira - who seemed like the leader of the small band of misfits - a desperate glance, a sort of look that seemed to ask: “Where are you going with this? Are we screwed?”

“It’s… it’s kind of private. It’s just… romance stuff. I don’t know, I do all kinds of different stuff, whatever I’m in the mood for.” Akira nodded, more to his friends than you, something you had a feeling you weren’t supposed to pick up on. He stuck his hand out flat, gesturing toward the rooftop behind you. You took the hint, heading a bit anxiously back up the stairs, Ryuji and Ann making way for you.

“You any good?” Akira followed behind you, and now on the rooftop once again, the cool air felt freeing, less constricting, though his question felt a bit insulting, a bit nosey.

“I don’t know… I’ve been told I am…” The three friends took a seat in areas that seemed very familiar to them, like they’d been up here warping in and out of this realm many times before. Now settled into place, Ann spoke up, obviously as apprehensive as you were:

“Well do you… do you think…?” Her high-pitched voice seemed to be hesitant, not yet confident in her next words, not sure if they were all on the same page.

“Yeah, my thoughts exactly,” Akira smirked as if the three had one mind. He turned to you, trying to make eye contact that you vehemently avoided. “How would you feel about helping us out?”

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anothertimdrakestan · 5 years ago

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Dying In The Batboys Arms

reqs: "do you write dark stuff like the boys reaction to the reader dying??? i love your blog btw!" & "Hi could I get some a n g s t"

sooo i'm terrible at angst or anything involving sadness because i ~fall apart~ and give up but for you two i tried my best haha and went for a HC cuz it's easier right? anyways hope you enjoy i cried like twice while writing this but i'm a weak bitch so i had to end them all decently to sleep alright tonight oops

Damian Wayne:

- damian would never let you die, so this would have to be you fulfilling some kind of deal or something unavoidable like yeeting into the speed force or something

- rushing to his embrace one last time and throwing your arms around him

- feeling him shake in your embrace as he whispers "please don't go beloved" and "ill never forget you" reducing you to tears as well

- your last kiss is salty and desprate, like he's trying to remember every moment, every feeling of you

- telling him it's not his fault and that he'll need to move on, but he's too busy promising to find you and save you even if there truly is no hope

- when you leave his eyes are the last thing you see, they were always your favorite and after years of looking at them it felt fitting they'd be the last earthly thing you saw

- as soon as you're gone damian isn't leaving the spot for weeks

- he's basically camped out, hair grown out, cheeks permanently stained as everytime he thinks of you he's crying again- making up for all the tears he held in his whole life

- jon is the only person he'll speak to, and even in that his words are softer than they'd ever been, damian would be to broken to hold his regular facade

- eventually jon coaxes him to return, seeing your belongings unmoved for months

- he'd almost undeniably quit robin, taking up a nickname you called him or wearing a suit in your favorite color, his only driving force after losing you will be the hope you had in him, he tells himself that even in death you're still watching over him forever... it may bit be true but it's the only thing that gives him a reason to keep living and not try to join you

Tim Drake:

- coughing up blood you'd search frantically for tim until he was at your side, crying uncontrollably as he tried to push away your hair matted with blood

- "hey timbers i don't think i'm gonna make it outta this one" you whispered, your hand reaching up to caress tim's cheek, wiping away the tears

- "no, stay with me help is coming i'm right here!" he'd scream spamming the 911 button on his suit as you shook your head "i might be dying but i'm not stupid" his eyes softened at the light smile that traced the lips he loved to kiss

- pulling him down to whisper everything you needed to say all he'd be able to get out it "i can't keep going if you leave me"

- squeezing his hand with every last ounce of strength you reminded him "it's not goodbye timmy it's a see you later, right?" with a soft nod he looked at you, eyes still brimming with tears

- "i've always been so proud of you timbers, don't stop now. see you later okay? i love you" the last words were strangled, but you had to give him something to hang on to as you let go, fading into the pain

- "see you soon y/n l/n ill love you always" were the last words to grace your ears, fading into a dull white noise as you slipped into peaceful bliss, tim's fsvorite soft smile permanent on your lips

- his family found him clutching your limp body, rocking back and forth promising to make you proud, repeated pushing your hair behind your ears because he knows you hate having hair fall in your face

- the strangled noises leaving his families throats as they realized what happened didn't help, neither did dick falling to the ground next to him, and steph bawling into jason's chest. duke had softly grabbed damians hand, both staring at the sky praying to whom ever was listening while bruce pulled tim up and into an embrace

- carefully the family left, one member- and a huge piece of their heart missing. broken at the scene.

- tim threw himself into work, determined to make you proud- but his family would catch him sitting in front of the small, supposedly secret, shrine he'd made in his closet for you, if damian presses his ear to his closet wall he could hear tim softly telling you about his day and what he did that would make you laugh

- months later he seemed calmer, no one could figure it out until dick took the time to ask. tim didn't say much but he held up his left hand ring finger and in a writing dick hadn't seen in months, the perfectly messy scribbles tattooed on his hand said "see you later timmy"

Jason Todd:

- seeing you minutes from death would send jason into shock, unable to move other than sinking to his knees next to you as you groaned with pain

- "at least hold me while a go jaybird" you mumbled through the blood trying to fill your throat. quickly he'd wrap his arms around you

- jason's embrace was comforting as always, you tried to memorize the way the scars landed on your abdomen and his calloused hands tentatively held you like you could break at any wrong move- i guess he was right this time

- "just hold on babe" jason was never good with words was he? with the last ounces of strength you cupped his cheek, bringing his head down to yours "stop talking and kiss me one last time" you whispered

- jason's hands fell to their usual position, one keeping you upright by holding your lower back, his rough hands creating perfect friction with your smooth skin, his other secured to the back of your head, lightly tugging on loose strands of your hair, it was like a puzzle piece fitting together, you melded perfectly to his lips

- the kiss was slow and loving, taking a moment you deepened it just to burn the memory of his passion into your brain before returning back to his loving and slow kisses

- you realized you were crying into the kiss when his rough finger swiped away tears, his lips never leaving yours

- pulling apart to breath and cough jason clung to you "please hold on please" you gave him a sad smile "it's okay jaybird i'm last where the pain hurts that means it's coming soon" you whispered, your hand still on his cheek, feeling the light stubble you always thought was so sexy

- "i love you jason todd, but i've never lied to you and i'm not starting now, this is goodbye babe" you told him bluntly, his face contorting as he pulled you back into his chest "no no no no" were the only words he could think of "i love you jay, it's okay baby" you pulled his lips back to yours until you felt the pain incoming

- "i don't think i've got much longer. hold me?" you looked up to jason who was pushing away tears

- "always" he replied, clutching you to his heaving chest as you snuggled into his embrace, you were sad this would be the last time you got to feel his heartbeat and chest rise and fall, you loved the feeling and knew you'd never forget it, even in death

- "y/n? babe? no" jason realized you were gone, and he lost it, screaming at the universe for taking the one good thing, crying like he promised he'd never, and punching almost everything within a 5 foot range

- his family found him bloody and broken, clutching your lifeless body as he tried to wrap him mind around what happened, he might never get better, the memory of your loss burned too deep and scarred too hard, but if he truly understood your love for him he'd use that love he had for you to drive it towards good, fighting for whatever you believed in most as an homage to you, hoping that when he next saw you he'd get to remember the feeling of you throwing your arms around him like you always did when he did something you were proud of, that desire was the only thing keeping him going

Dick Grayson:

- imagine an impending death with dick grayson, maybe it's a medical diagnosis and hope has run out, or a known death date, whatever it maybe- i think only dick would be a character strong enough to stay by your side through it all

- when it just became too hard to go on you and dock both knew what was coming

- he took weeks off nightwing duties, traveling the world and falling deeper in love, eloping somewhere deep in europe to solidify your love eternally no matter where either of you were

- the day it was finally time you were wrapped up in his clothes, your favorite hoodie and sweatpants that smelled of the warm vanilla toasted marshmallow smell you fell in love with

- you'd catch dick swiping away rogue tears all day, trying to make the most of your time together

- as the final hour ticked down you both let everything off your chests, not that there was really anything left

- nestling himself one the crook of your shoulder you inhaled the warm comfortable scent, willing yourself to never forget it when he whispered "i'm not ready to let you go yet" and it broke the both of you, sobbing into each other's shoulders as time stopped

- feeling death begin creeping in you were curled up in dick's embracing, having said your goodbyes to loved ones, damian especially heart broken he was clutching one of your sweatshirts, one day he'd grow out of it but you assumed by then he'd be over the loss

- "does- do you hurt?" dick asked softly as you soaked in his embrace, feeling his tears roll down your touching cheeks

- "it's not scary when you're here dickie" you whispered, pulling his lips in for one last kiss, as you began drifting away you shifted to rest on his collar bone, inhaling the vanilla scent that had been your rock for years, you were glad it would be the last thing you remembered, the best sendoff you could ask for

- dick watched you exhale your last breath peacefully, part of him was glad your pain was over, but that didn't stop the sobs from escaping

- damian crept in, still clinging to your sweatshirt, hopping up into dick's lap, nestled between you and dick, he'd only done it a couple times but he needed it almost as much as dick this time

- and the two held you together, more family members came and went but damian and dick held your vigil, together they helped each other get up and live, falling into a routine of sitting in the same position, your sweatshirt held in their lap, occasionally they'd raise it and take a trip down memory lane with your familiar smell still lingering on the sweatshirt, and that was all they had of you, but now they had each other. and that would have to do until they saw you again

#tim drake #damian wayne #jason todd #dick grayson #batboys #batfam #batfam headcanons #tim drake x reader #damian wayne x reader #jason todd x reader #dick grayson x reader #dc angst #tim drake angst #damian wayne angst #jason todd angst #dick grayson angst #dc fluff #batfamily

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