#Community Recovery

[rae-butter]

Honestly, I love it when characters relapse. When someone who’s gotten over their anger issues falls into a situation so out of their depth they fall back on their old habits. When someone who’s learned to open up becomes a recluse again in order to cope with something outside their control.

There’s just something so horrible, so toxic, about watching a character grow and then slip back into their old selves in order to cope, bc you know they still care, that they’re the same inside, but watching them hurt so hard they don’t know what else to do brings a sense of catharsis.

[westvalleyfaultph]

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[lifeafterpsychiatry]

Yes. Have YOU considered that sometimes working on hard things is both necessary and worthwhile?

[shamelesslyimpurrfect]

(X)

[edible-emerald]

saw this on pinterest and thought it might be something traumagenic systems who struggle with thinking their trauma isn't enough need to see

[orbitposting]

DID but not as in presence of "evil murderer alter", DID as in buying two drinks instead of one because someone came to front after seeing a blue raspberry slushie and DEMANDED to have it, but the alter who walked all the way to the gas station refused to leave without getting what they wanted to get initially.

[seth-whumps]

really big fan of caretakers cupping the back of whumpee's neck and supporting their face with their thumbs, gazing softly into their eyes and repeating words of comfort with as much intensity as they can, because if whumpee can't believe it, caretaker will just keep saying it until they do.

[whump-in-the-closet]

“They did that to you? And you let them?”

“You think I had a say in how I was fucking tortured?”

[hollowandcoldanddark]

i hate shoutout posts, so this is like... a whisper to every single fucking system who can't be in therapy. who arent safe. live with abusers. who dont have the money, dont have the location, cant find a therapist. who cant do this shit.

i think that most advice from the internet is like... if you have did go to therapy and i bet thats useful if u can have it but if you cant, its so isolationg. especially with an individualistic (every man for himself) culture, people often tell u to just... go to therapy bro. dont bother me about it.

here are fr some tips as someone who has a lot of problems and is not in therapy:

prioritise staying alive. it can never get better once you are dead.

take your time with it. you dont need to post alter intros or have a plural kit. you dont need to have a journal. take time to be comfortable as you can even if the circumstances are very bad

depending on your amount of control and interaction with your system, introduce people who don't have a lot of life experience to new things like food, new colours and textures and places. this especially applies if you have a bunch of alters who only really know the environment of their abuse

build community. its really really really hard but do try. having friends kept me alive. it still keeps me alive.

learn about healthy relationships - we all have internet access. learn about boundaries and triggers and talking to others healthily. a lot of people with did will struggle with healthy relationships even if they make them. learn and do your best to act with it

treat your body like a rental or a pot plant or an animal if needed - even if it doesnt seem like yours, you gotta feed and water and walk it bro. u need the sun. you need enrichment and interaction.

ignore the discourse if youre struggling - it actually doesnt matter and will make you more sick. thinkning about endo vs trauma or like.... idk... labels discourse can be a major stressor that can lead to warping your sustem presentation or repressing and harming bits that arent conforming well

engage in things that are irl like building mini legos or clay - it can help make outside a better environment and shit, aklso can help ground.

find your own triggers and talk about it with ur system. write notes or yap.

find joy in being alive and being a system. despite what reddit or youtube or whatever will tell you, as things improve they will get better. and u should look for joy and funnies when you can

dont give up

LISTEN TO YOUR SYSTEM. THEY'RE NOT ALWAYS GOING TO BE RIGHT. THEY LIKELY ARE ASSHOLES OR INSANE JUST LIKE YOU. BUT YOU LIVE TOGETHER.

healing is easier as a team.

i believe in you

[bah-pearl-cookie]

By the way, PTSD flashbacks aren't always "suddenly you're in the moment again". They can be of course but emotional flashbacks are a kind of flashback too (remembering the event and suddenly feeling the emotions you felt in the event) just in case someone needed to hear it

[sugarsweetwriter]

Whumpee who's required to go to weekly therapy sessions.

Whumpee who takes hours of pleading with to finally get to the car, where they sit quietly for the whole car ride, stiff and uncomfortable.

Whumpee who clings to Caretaker's side for the whole therapy session, unwilling to let go of them even when it's supposed to be a one-on-one appointment.

Whumpee who practically runs back to the car the second the clock strikes whatever time the appointments supposed to end.

Caretaker who feels so guilty for having to drag Whumpee to these appointments while knowing how much Whumpee despises them.

Caretaker who takes Whumpee out to do something fun they enjoy after every appointment.

Caretaker who cuddles up with Whumpee on the bed/couch whenever they get home to watch a show or movie and give Whumpee their favourite food or snack.

[literarystarfish]

When Caretaker just kind of incorporates Whumpee into their life, and doesn’t treat them any different than they do with any of their other friends even though they know what they’ve gone through.

They don’t baby them. They don’t tiptoe around them. They just treat them like a person. Like any random person. Like any of their friends.

(Unless, of course, its something specific to accommodate an unavoidable trauma, but Caretaker has never made a big deal about “such little changes to make you feel more comfortable. If you don’t want me to touch you or crowd you, thats no big deal! I make sure I have vegetarian snacks when Other-Friend comes over. It’s basically the same thing!”)

Whumpee appreciates this more than they could ever express to Caretaker. And their nonchalance about it all just makes it so much easier. After years of not feeling like a real person, being treated like one just feels so…. normal. Nice. … Better than nice. Incredible.

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

Sometimes a "I can't relate to what you're going through, but it sounds horrible and I'll do what I can to help you" is a far more compassionate approach than acting like you get it

[caledine]

Dulling.

Whumpees that get small after captivity. They used to be loud and proud and Caretaker would watch them prance around all peacock like with a weird confidence that encapsulated them. They were flamboyant, bright coloured hair and spontaneous looking clothing. Coloured graphic liner and jewellery galore. They spent hours perfecting every outfit down to the last bracelet or scarf.

When Whumpee comes back they are dull. They curl in on themselves and the over grown roots are never dyed back— in fact they went natural for the first time since high school. The outfits they had so much fun choosing became generic. They blend right back in with the crowed refusing to be different in case it’s what leads Whumper right back to them.

They’d learnt how to make themselves small, quiet, unnoticeable in a busy room and not easily remembered to the common public. They curl small and whisper. They don’t giggle and hum to the radio or compliment strangers on their uniqueness.

Caretaker can’t even recognise their own friend.