#Tim: wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf

[nightwingsgypsyrep]

*taps microphone* is this thing on? Okay…

🎤 THIS IS A REMINDER THAT ALL OF THE ROBINS ARE SMART, GENIUSES IN FACT. THEY ARE IN A FAMILY OF DETECTIVES. THATS LIKE THEIR WHOLE THING. ALL OF THE ROBINS (AND THE REST OF THE BATFAM TOO) ARE CLEVER, STRATEGIC, AND CAPABLE, NOT JUST TIM. (No hate to my boy Tim, though. I love Tim.) YES, EVEN THAT ONE. Thank you. 🎤

[ineveryfandom]

bruce and dick, father and son? classic. batman and robin, partners in justice? exciting. bruce and dick, brothers with a huge age gap? more likely than you think.

-

Jason: *loses in a game against bruce*

Bruce, patting his back: it’s alright son, let’s play again

Dick: *loses in a game against bruce*

Bruce: that’s for calling me old

Dick, screaming at Bruce: HOW COULD YOU?!

Duke, new to the fam, very concerned: what’s happening?

Tim: you don’t wanna know

Duke, nervous: …is it something really bad?

Tim, gravely: yes

Dick, shaking Bruce: HOW COULD YOU?! HOW COULD YOU DRINK MY SMOOTHIE?!

Duke:

Alfred: *pointedly looking at the broken window*

Bruce: dick did it

Dick, in space, on call with Alfred: i wasn’t even anywhere NEAR there

Cass: fuck!

Bruce: language

Steph: let my girl say fuck

Bruce: language.

TV playing in the background: ..nd SCORE! unfortunately, the Gotham Guardsmen have lost to Metropolis Metros once m—

Dick, from the couch: motherfUCKER

Bruce, angrily: metropolis BASTARDS

Cass:

Cass: not fair >:[

In a restaurant

Barbara: dick can you pass me the salt

Dick, with headphones on, not hearing her:

Barbara: dick? dick. dick!

Bruce: ill get it

Bruce: *reaches for the salt near dick’s plate*

Dick: *suddenly has his arms around his food, his fork clattering to the ground, their drinks spilling everywhere*

Bruce:

Dick:

Barbara:

Dick: ...in my defense these are some real good nachos

Dick: *waltzes inside bruce’s room, not saying anything*

Bruce: ...?

Dick: *looks at the pictures on the walls*

Bruce: can i help you??

Dick: *checks himself out in the mirror*

Bruce: please do that in your own room

Dick: *turns on the lights and rummages in the drawers*

Bruce: i already ate all the snacks there

Dick: *leaves* *doesn’t close the door*

Bruce:

Damian, also in the room:

Damian, in realization: jason got it from him

[definitelysome1]

Tim (with a sigh): it’s my birthday today…

Jason: yeah, I know. I put a gift on your dining table this morning

Tim: ?!??!!??????!?

Jason: why the fuck do you look so confused?

Tim: no one has remembered my birthday since I was seven. I don’t even tell people my birthday anymore because they aren’t going to remember anyway

Jason: ?!!?!???!???

Jason: what the actual fuck

Tim: what?

Jason: not even goldie?? Or cas? Or Steph???

Tim: oh. Well, Dick always gets the date wrong and Steph never asked. I assume it’s because she thinks I don’t want to celebrate because no one ever tries to.

Jason: and Cas?

Tim: I think she knows, but she’s always been away on my birthday

Jason: what about your team? The speedster and the supers? Don’t they remember???

Tim: I’ve never told them

Jason: I-

Jason: did Bruce ever officially adopt you, or are you still emancipated?

Tim: he was going to, but then he disappeared and we never talked about it again, why?

Jason: I’m adopting you and then we’ll celebrate 10 birthdays to make up for the ones you’ve missed.

Tim:???!??!???

[luminesick]

Damian, with red puffy eyes: You too?

Tim, with red puffy eyes: *raises a brow* Yes?

Damian has severe pollen allergies. Tim was high.

[dickgraysonmybeloved]

Bruce, High on pain killers: I hate to tell you this, but one of you is adopted

The Batfam: …

Dick: .. only one?

[ahfrickenfrick]

nightwing being hurt in the field, and over comms he can’t get out what was wrong, nearly in shock, and jason puts on his best batman™️ voice and says “robin, report.”

and it snaps dick out of it enough to say concussion, possible broken ribs, and a gash in his side.

no one talks about it, and then a year later, damian does the same thing to tim

[prlssprfctn]

I will forgive DC for not using All-Blades stuff on Jason, only if they give me a comedy little run, where the family finds out that he is a fucking chosen one, because the half of the world tries to reach for his help in magic stuff, which he ignores — so they are forced to beg Bruce to affect his son, somehow.

Bruce: Hey, John. Long time no see. What happened?

John Constantine, tired as fuck: I need you to ask Jason to pick the goddamn phone.

Dick: Is he wanted in LA, too?

John Constantine: Wanted? Guy is having a fucking blast. Do you know how many people need the Chosen One's assistance?

Damian — who actually knows it, so he is not surprised — scoffing: Todd? Assistance?

Tim, who knows as much as Bruce and Dick, which means nothing: Jason? THE CHOSEN ONE?

Bruce, catching Jason near the fridge in three in the morning: Jason? When were you going to tell us that you were chosen to... restore the balance between good and bad, and had magical swords?

Jason, chewing on dry cereals while skimming through the book: Like what, was it hard?

[brie-annwyl]

Jason and Damian meeting at the league but Batfam doesn’t know Jason’s alive is one of my favourite fanfic tropes.

Dick, in his hoe era talking about getting beat tf up by some girl’s boyfriend: I genuinely thought the dude was gonna kill me! I was framed, I swear! Istg someone must’ve planted a strawberry handkerchief on me or something.

Damian, barely listing: was that an Othello reference?

Tim: how did you know that? I didn’t even catch that.

Damian: it was ja- *long pause ensues*

Tim: is his programming malfunctioning?

Dick: Ja??

Damian, brain farting: yep. “Ja”

*frantically messaging Jason saying he almost broke his cover*

—

Damian, annotating Jason’s old copies of the classics: I forgot how much of an idiot you were back then. *takes sticky note off page* “RIP queen, this is actually so depressing.” Yeah, Ophelia just died. Way to state the obvious.

Dick: ??

Damian:

Damian: I’m a medium. He-uh, talks to me.

Dick: oh okay- wait. What?

—

Damian, sneaking back into the manor after having a visit with Jason: *tip toeing his way to the stairs*

Bruce, waiting in the living room with a lamp: Damian, Where were you?

Damian, who can’t improv for shit: uh-

Bruce: *eyebrow raise*

Damian: I was kidnapped by red hood *runs upstairs*

—

Bruce, in his feels era: I wish jaylad was around to see this.

Damian, not thinking: can we not just ask him to come over?

Bruce:

Damian:

Bruce: what-

Damian: we can use a ouija board. That’s how I communicate with him.

Bruce, concerned: what???

[clingonlikeclingwrap]

Love TimBernKon bc usually ships have opposing dynamics but with those guys it’s just

[morganbritton132]

One of the perks of living in Gotham is that occasionally you’ll walk past a Wayne having the most batshit insane conversation anybody has ever had.

Walk past Dick Grayson on the street and hear him say into his phone, “I don’t think he’s anti-vax, but Superman is definitely not vaccinated.”

Stand outside of the downtown WE building and see Tim Drake walk out with his tall friend only to pause and say, “Hold on, I just got the mental image of Lex Luthor pregnant. Thanks for that.”

A lucky few who ride the same subway line as the newest Wayne edition, overheard Duke tell Stephanie that living in Wayne Manor is, “Alright, but when I moved in Jason and Damian gave me a knife and said I had to kill Tim. Said it was tradition.”

“It kinda is. Did you do it?”

“No!” Duke says, to the relief of the overhearers. “Get this…he stabbed himself.”

“…yeah, I should’ve guessed that.”

The downside to living in Gotham is literally everything else.

[aofikofi]

ig story reqs pt 1

(pt 2)

[fantasticgothicpeachsludge]

Bernard: i lied. i don’t like sex. put your clothes back on babe and watch my power point presentation about What The Fuck Is Going On Between Batman And Twoface

Tim: …

[cabinette]

happy valentines day martim village <333

[cyfffff]

you’d think since dick was a mathlete hed b the number one guy to ask for help w math homework but actually he knows so much advanced math that the first time tim asked him for help with a simple geometry problem he pulled out his dusty ti-84 and started solving it in the most convoluted way that took an hour bc he was also just trying to relearn the math he hadn’t done in like 5 years. cue him screaming in frustration when he realized the actual way to do it would’ve taken him 2 minutes (tim asked him at the beginning if that way was right and he waved him off saying no) none of the batsibs can ask him for math help until they get to pre-calculus at least

[froggy-rains]

TIMBERKON TIMBERKON!!!!

Especially when Kon and Barnard get together first and have to drag Tim in?!!?

[timdrakeslawyer]

there are many duos im fond of with tim but him w his big bro will always be at the top :( they mean so much to me!

(nightwing 1996 #69)