#abuser awareness

[the-irreverend]

Support the survivor.

Please.

[xiewho]

complaining about high elves and sharing inside job gossip. the sisters ever actually

[sin-esthezia]

the thing that gets me the most about ableism against pd’s is that ppl will be like “these disorders make you an ASSHOLE!!!!” and then turn around and pretend that other disorders can’t and don’t make you act shitty.

depression and anxiety can make you irritable and snappy. they can cause you to refuse to listen to people and to be distant and withdrawn. they can cause you to seem angry, bitchy, rude, uncaring, etc.

ptsd causes an array of difficulties in forming meaningful relationships. it pretty much shakes up your entire worldview and sense of self a lot of the time. ptsd can cause you to get angry often. it can cause you to yell and scream. it can cause you to withdraw from others, run away, or cut them out. it can cause general changes in demeanor and more cynical worldviews. it can make you seem grouchy, negative, explosive, impolite, difficult, needy, controlling, etc.

and yet when people with personality disorders have symptoms of that nature, suddenly we are irredeemable monsters. when it’s npd, bpd, hpd, or aspd instead of ptsd or depression and anxiety, people suddenly and magically lose the ability to be understanding.

mental illness is an explanation, not an excuse. i firmly believe that. hurting others is never justified simply because you have any disorder.

but if you can be patient with people who have depression, anxiety, ptsd, ocd, or any other more well understood mental illness, you can be patient with us.

[kindnessoverperfection]

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

[pixieverse-icedtea]

i wanna go back and hug my younger self so bad, that little girl went through so much

[neuroticboyfriend]

If you struggle with substance abuse but not addiction, you still deserve support. If you struggle with suicidality/self harm urges but don't act on it, you still deserve support. If you struggle with psychosis and paranoia but have insight, you still deserve support. If you struggle with anything but are "coping with it," you still deserve support.

You dont need to be in imminent crisis to get help - safety planning, harm reduction, resources, and accommodations. You're still struggling. You're still suffering, You're still at risk/in danger. You deserve better - you need better. Your health and wellbeing matters.

[becomingvecna]

#my writing

[impossiblysporadiccreation]

For any kids:

You are not supposed to be afraid of your parents

You never deserve to be hit (not even lightly, not even if you killed someone)

No one has the right to touch you without permission, not even your family members, including your parents

Your parents can love you and still hurt you, that does not make the hurt okay

Adults you trust can still be wrong

It's not normal for everything to always be overwhelming

If you are having a problem with any of these things, do your best to talk to a licensed therapist (if they are licensed therapists they legally cannot tell your parents your personal information)

You deserve happiness

You deserve privacy

You deserve to feel good

You are not alone in your struggles

Your struggles are valid, no matter how small they are

You deserve love and kindness

You deserve to be surrounded by people who love you and care for you

Edit: lots of people are commenting saying that therapists can and do tell parents information about what their child says in therapy, the legality of this depends on your age and what type of information it is. Here is what the American Psychological Association says about it

Discussing confidentially with your therapist beforehand is a good idea so you know how your specific therapist feels, but it's horrible that that's something you have to do. You still deserve privacy as a child.

If you are in a situation where you can't tell your therapist something, please get the information out of yourself somehow. I recommend saying it out loud if you can even if it's just to yourself.

Failing that, write whatever it is down and get rid of the paper so it's unreadable if you have to, it's better than keeping everything inside.

[axolotlclown]

We need to remember that Shubble stated that Wilbur would manipulate and gaslight friends and family. With this, we must be patient with streamers that were close to Wilbur. This was likely surprising and shocking for them. They may need time to come to terms with what has happened.

I have been vocal about how important it is for men to be critical about abusive behaviors. However, Wilbur had many close friends—some would even consider him family—and now they may feel they hardly knew him at all.

There is a deep stress felt by viewers. It is difficult to think we have given any amount of time or money to an abuser. Could you imagine a close friend right now? The pain and betrayal must sear. They need time to understand what has happened and come to terms with it. Many of them may not be live in the coming days (weeks even).

That being said, as time passes, criticism may be necessary. Complacency is not an option. Men that are willing to ignore abuse to protect an abuser are just as pathetic as the abusers themselves.

Let's give this situation time to breathe. I ask that we give patience and courtesy to those close to Wilbur at this time. But please do not forget that this happened. There may be a few streamers hoping to lay low and then drop a collab in a few months. Do not let them. This is too important.

[crplpunkklavier]

i love and respect that post or tweet or whatever it was about how every mountain goats song is like whirring of the ac in a warehouse while john goes "the dog was. brown" but i do think it applies more to older songs. nowadays any mountain goats song is like [sexy saxophone riff] john darnielle sounding really excited: I HAVE A FIVE STEP PLAN FOR MAULING YOU TO DEATH [bass lick] WHEN THE COPS COME TO MY DOOR I'LL KILL THEM TOO [more saxophone]

[moonlit-positivity]

There is no "right" or "wrong" way to react to trauma. There is only survival. You do what you can until you can get out and get safe, and that is the only thing that should ever matter. You deserve to be respected for how you cope with your pain. But you also deserve to be respected enough to know you're worth the effort to heal and seek recovery if you so choose.

[frosty-the-killer-doll]

hey so april is autism awareness month but it is also sexual assault awareness month so let's not forget that autistic people are statistically more likely to have experienced a form of sexual violence, harassment and/or assault- and an autistic person having been hurt in this way is more common than an autistic person that hasn't. don't forget about survivors this month, too, and don't leave autistic survivors out of either conversation!

sources: x, x, x and x

[narcitism]

my abuser had brown hair im a victim of brunette abuse :(

[queerexpressions]

“that he’d been vindicated somehow”

[binxelf]

things you can do despite your sense of guilt

- go for a walk even if you think you don’t deserve it

- have a snack even if you think you don’t deserve it

- take a break from studying even if you think you don’t deserve it

- reach out to someone even if you think you don’t deserve it

- demand, have needs and wants even if you think you don’t deserve it

- make it through the day even if you think you don’t deserve it

- feel mentally exhausted albeit seeming physically fine

- feel the sense of abandonment despite the company of those around you

- go to bed early despite not having done much according to your mental routine

- let out a deep breath even if you think you weren’t holding one back

[sin-esthezia]

whenever i hear or see those “how to kill/defeat a narcissist” websites and shit it baffles me. like you’re telling me you want to kill rarity? you want to kill rainbow dash? you want to kill papyrus undertale? deadass?