#and batman is like

[phoenixkaptain]

Catwoman: “When are we going to get married?”

Batman, an empath: “Something tells me that Catwoman likes me…”

[fernacular]

Despite what you may have heard Bruce Wayne is not, in fact, a furry.

He is, however, very opinionated.

[arunneronthird]

he will use every chance he gets to be a drama queen and if he doesnt have one he will create one

[ashoss]

some things dont change

[frownyalfred]

Thinking about the JL finding out that Bruce has contingency plans for all of his kids and being horrified. But when the League asks them about it, all the kids are like “yeah! we actually all have them for each other just in case” and move on like it’s perfectly normal to have three different ways to take out your brother on hand (for emergencies).

[ditzybat]

tim: sweet dog you got there. gordon: yes, this is our new drug-sniffing dog. tim: still training huh? gordon: red robin.. what do you mean? tim: ... tim: nevermind...

[violent138]

League members discussing meeting Robin at work:

"Compared to Bats, Robin was a total sweetheart. Ball of sunshine."

"Man, must've been a good day then, the kid I met was a real anklebiter. He pulled out a sword and everything."

"Anklebiter is harsh, the sweet boy I met barely said a word, he just kept asking about Themyscira and the lasso."

"He? I met a blonde girl."

"No, no, black haired boy with blue eyes. We're talking about Robin."

"Yeah same here, blue eyed and tanned."

"Pretty sure he had green eyes. And talked fancy. And kind of scolded me for time travelling."

"The child I met was paler than the moon."

"I'm telling you I met a girl, and she was Robin."

"Well... either we're all wrong or we're all right."

So they arrive at the conclusion that Bats has a shape-shifter for a kid.

[yrkhn]

Vic and Dick. 2022

[therandomfandomme]

why do i imagine the batfam finally meeting the league and then one of them going 'how the fuck do you have so many kids?' and little shit Jason goes 'well, when two people love each other very much...' and because Bruce doesn't wanna listen to this, he tiredly reminds Jason: 'you're adopted' which naturally means that Jason is going to dramatically pretend that this is the first time he's heard that and how could Bruce keep this from him, much to the horror of the league and the exasperation of Bruce

[mysterycitrus]

"[blank] is the best robin" please be serious

[tterracotta]

A quick evening trip to the convenience store

Bonus:

[emotional-piece-of-meat]

"Bruce loves his children to infinity but sucks at communication" gotta be one of my favourite tropes.

What Bruce means: I miss you so much it hurts, you are a great hero, and I'm really glad that you still consider me as part of your life and share your thoughts with me.

What Bruce does: hums meaningfully in response to Dick's story.

What Bruce means: I'm sorry about everything that happened between us, I still love you and want to fix our relationship, I'm incredibly grateful that you don't avoid me.

What Bruce does: nods at Jason when sees him on the patrol.

What Bruce means: I deeply care about you, you are truly important to me, I worry about your health and I don't want you to repeat my mistakes, neglecting yourself for the sake of a mission.

What Bruce does: gives Tim a snack without any explanation.

What Bruce means: I'm very proud that, despite everything you were taught, you choose to be a good person and help people, you have a kind soul, and it's an honour to me to call you my son.

What Bruce does: gives Damian an intensive head pat.

Should I say that Cassie is a blessing?

They stare at each other's soul for a solid five minutes and it's basically a full ass conversation.

[batbabydamian]

*you opening the love letter* what does your damijon look like, pls pls pls pls pls pls pls, i know it would be so cute, i just know it 🙏🙏🙏

here you go! thank you for the ask, this was a lot of fun to do! they're working on a case together ^^

[tiffycat]

The vibes on this guy... Maybe it's a Gotham thing

Continuation of my lil delusional crossover cause I still think it is very fun and also people seemed to like the first set of doodles :D

[frownyalfred]

okay so there were a ton of posts/fics about the hilarious "fuck/maryy/kill" Bruce Wayne & Justice League scenario (I read them all, amazing comedic timing y'all) but to me, the most hilarious scenario is the JL play fuck/marry/kill, Bruce's name comes up, and half of the people in the room in the know immediately turn bright red and refuse to keep playing and no one will explain why.

Hal: "...and I would fuck Bruce Wayne. No, I would kill him. Nah, actually I'd fuck him, who am I kidding."

Clark: choking on his coffee and rapidly turning an alarming shade of red

Diana: "An....interesting choice, of course."

J'onn: "Shall we play a different game?"

Hal: "Wait, what? that was the game, wasn't it?"

Ollie: "I'm with Hal, I'd fuck the shit out of Bruce. He's the easiest guy I know, it's not like it'll exactly be a hardship for him."

*every single person in the room turns to Batman, standing in the corner*

Clark: "Wow! I think I just heard someone drop an ice cream cone in Guatemala. Batman, I'll need a team up."

Ollie: "For ice cream?"

Diana, standing up and putting herself in between Bruce and Hal: "This sounds dire. I will also assist."

Clark, under his breath, one hand on Bruce's back: "It's not worth it. He's not worth it. Come on. Walk it off."

[ditzybat]

clark, discussing what to do about kon with bruce: you know what this means right?

bruce, nodding: yeah, you owe luthor a buttload of child support

clark: what - i - no??

bruce: i mean, it sucks that he baby trapped you but you don’t want to be a deadbeat

clark: he did not - i am not his father, luthor stole my DNA and put that [pointing at kon] into a tube

bruce: i want you to take one good look on how damian came to be

clark: … oh my rao… i am dead beat aren’t i?