#black bat headcanon

[oldmannapping]

Crack HC, because is there any other kind?

Bruce realises embarrassingly late that his Batkids can’t swim.

Gotham’s beach water is pure chemicals and sewage, and the city’s public school funding doesn’t exactly prioritise teaching kids to swim. Steph, Duke and Jason had never seen a swimming pool before meeting Bruce.

Tim’s parents meant to sign him up for swim lessons after he fell into their indoor fountain when he was three and nearly drowned - it would have been so embarrassing if it happened when they had guests! - but forgot.

So Bruce is like. Oh no my baby-soldiers must learn to swim.

Damian insists that since the League trained him to withstand waterboarding, he’s fine. Bruce pulls a muscle in his cheek from clenching his jaw so hard.

Dick insists that he can swim and manages one impressive mermaid-style undulation before becoming disoriented and slamming into the wall.

Duke covers himself in floaties and clings to a pool noodle for dear life, eschewing dignity because “this isn’t how I die”.

Conversely, Tim sinks like a stone, curls up on the bottom of the pool, and waits for death.

Cass, with the lowest body fat percentage, also sinks but manages to squeeze into one of the drains. She re-emerges six hours later in an estuary in New Jersey.

Steph refuses to let go of the wall by the deep end, scuttling away like a crab when Bruce tries to poke her into the water with a skimmer net.

Jason scoffs at them all and manages a perfect swan dive before flailing and crashing into Steph, causing both of them to panic and use each other as ladders to get out.

Alfred asks Barbara for the security camera footage and makes everyone watch it twice a year to keep their egos in check.

[violent138]

The idea of the Batkids doing normal people things while suited up is hilarious to me, you know, like Red Robin and Spoiler making the 9 o'clock news while racing through a grocery store because they totally forgot to get the things Alfred asked them to bring for the family dinner. Or Damian and Dick swinging into the Bludhaven Zoo mid-patrol because Dami really wanted to see the new baby tiger. Red Hood buying lemonade from a kid's stand and then standing there awkwardly messing with his helmet, trying not to hurt the kid's feelings. Black Bat, on a particularly tiring day randomly appeared in the nosebleeds of the ballet hall and started sniping phones out of people's hands. Or Signal and a deeply irritated Batman changing out a blown-out tyre in some back alley, earning amused looks.

[gotham-bird]

Bruce before the Justice League meet the BatKids for the first time en masse: Alright, ground rules. Just because they’re my kids does NOT in any way mean I can control them, wrangle them, guide them, anything. I am NOT legally held responsible for anything they do.

Clark: Ah, they can’t be that bad.

Bruce:😑 one of them died, came back, and tried to kill his younger brother. Said younger brother had been stalking us since he was NINE years old. My eldest saw his parents die. One of my daughters was raised solely to be an assassin. My other sort of daughter has a villain for a father. My other son has superpowers. Yet another son was raised to be an assassin and lead a cult.

Diana:…..

Clark:….. I take it back, they are that bad. Duly noted.

Jason: *wandering in with half asleep Tim meandering behind him* Has anyone seen the Tiny Murder Bird? *pauses* Why’s everyone staring at us?

Dick: *walking in behind them* I’m assuming B gave them the general rundown on us.

Jason: That would do it.

Tim: *taking a drink of an unholy energy drink and coffee concoction* my preciouuusssss.

Oliver: Oh this one. This one scares me.

Bruce: Welcome to my world.

[ybetzarts]

Agent Rouge has successfully infiltrated the facility 🦇🕵️‍♀️

[Close-ups⬇️]

[tesalicious2]

Gothamites are just a different breed of people. They literally could not give a single f*ck about anything. There attitude is ‘eh, not impressed’ mixed with ‘been there don that’ and ‘try harder’.

It’s bad but no one knows how bad until they move there. I’m convinced everyone who lives in Crime Alley has had there parents/grandparents live there, while the less dangerous parts of Gotham see more new faces. They don’t stay long but they pop up.

Batman doesn’t let the Justice League to Gotham and I think that’s fair. They are all to bright and happy. Everyone is so angsty it’s amazing. He doesnt let them in for their own protection. Mostly since they all thinks he’s dramatic. But he knows that that relaxed manner is going to get them hurt.

The only vigilante that has zero haters (besides criminals) is Red Hood. Like, he control the most dangerous part of Gotham every night, walks kids/girls/teens/anyone-who-asks home, regularly buys food for the homeless, reads to kids at the library at night/near closing, stops robberies, sometimes teaches people self defense, and tries to be really quiet bc the walls are thin.

Either him or Signal bc he’s a daytime hero and everyone loves him. Nice, new, and will help out work the mundane stuff.

That being said, the rest are liked too but so have their haters. Despite this, there are websites and videos of them all doing cute and funny stuff or the gothamites doing nice stuff for them.

There is a video of someone giving Spoiler an umbrella, she returned it the next day. Someone managed to find everyone and give them their own hand sewn plushies, and their reaction.

Mostly starting with them on a rooftop of a building, a person calls out. “Yo! (Insert name)! Come here real quick!”

They go over and the person pulls out the plushie.

Batman: *stares for a moment* thank you. Did you make this? The workman ship is amazing.

Nightwing: awwwww! This is so nice, thank you!

Red hood: imma admit it, this is the greatest moment of my entire life. Now, you are in a very bad part of Gotham and need to get to bed. I’ll walk you.

Red Robin: i adore this. I will keep it with me till I die.

Robin: *brain cannot compute* Umm…Thank you very much. Honestly, no idea what to say right now

Spoiler: AWWWW, my first fan anything! I love this! Do you have an Instagram or something? I have to follow you! Let me buy you food!

Black Bat: *squished it once, looks up, Higgs it to her, then motions to hug the creator, they hug*

Signal: ummm, thank you? ive never had to deal with this before. I love it so much! Thank you!

(Can’t believe o forgot Batgirl)

Batgirl: This is so sweet! Thank you! *gives the biggest hug known to man*

[psychokatrixxxy]

The batfam watches the first two Home Alone movies for "family bonding" as Bruce calls it. Bruce comes to greatly regret this decision when his children take it as a challenge to set up booby traps throughout the manor to see who 1) makes the most interesting trap and 2) how gets the most victims to fall into their traps.

I think that Damian would take it as an opportunity to prove his superiority as the blood son, very serious about it.

Jason would be disappointed after Alfred banned him from using anything that would cause too much damage to the manor or victim. "No, Master Jason. You may not place a bomb in the manor, no matter how weak you claim it to be."

Jason also puts his traps in places he is sure Bruce will fall victim to them.

Dick makes a few traps but not as many as his siblings. He flips over his siblings' traps and manages to avoid most of them.

Tim and Jason form an alliance to get Dick after he managed to make them fall into their own traps.

Bruce is happy his kids are "getting along," even if the manor gets a little messed up along the way. (Alfred makes them all clean up their mess.)

Bonus points if some idiot actually tries to break into Wayne manor and gets caught up in the mess.

Overall message, don't show the batfam Home Alone, they will take it as a challenge.

[galahadwilder]

Dick: okay Bruce is missing, possibly dead, possibly lost in space. We need someone to pretend to be Batman. Who should—

Cass: *is already wearing the cowl*

Dick: GAH! How the FUCK did you do that

Cass: because I am Batman

Dick: fair, have a fun night

[marshmallow---pillow]

Batfam Headcanon

Batfam Headcanon that Dick might be the most open to cuddles. But it's Jason who's the best to cuddle with. (Part 1)

Listen that dude's huge. He has the muscle mass of a bull, and he has the visceral fat to support it. He's the ideal cuddle density. Enhanced metabolism means he runs warmer than a goddamn furnace.

But here's the issue: He's more likely to kneecap the person in hugging range than cuddling them.

So, it's starts with Cassandra, surprisingly.

They're staking out at the harbor on a December night. Cassandra's teeth can be heard chattering a mile away, while Jason looks—completely fine—no indication of any emotion whatsoever, but Cassandra can see the nervousness radiating off the kid's body in seismic waves, shoulders slight curled defensively, and the subtlest lean of his posture towards her.

Suddenly it clicks, and she inches near his hulking form slowly and presses to him. Dick's fabled furnace warmth was right, Jason's so warm, despite the layers of kevlar.

Jason stills, and so does Cassandra, she thinks she's broken something very delicate, maybe irreparably, Jason doesn't have a lot of good memories associated with touch, she should've asked, she should've—but Jason just breathes,

"Jesus Christ, Cassie", and puts an arm around her small frame, and Cassandra doesn't know who sinks further. Her, or Jason into the touch. When was the last time someone held him? Touched him without the intent to harm?

Suddenly she remembers being alone, the aching hollowness no fire or fireplace could chase away. That was only filled by hugs and gentle touch and hair brushing and curling up next to Baba and—

It's an aching hollowness she knows so intimately well.

Jason drapes his jacket over her, it's like being engulfed in a heated blanket, and Cassandra puts her arms around him wordlessly.

She's so warm and comfortable and safe in the hold. (They have their differences, but her brain never registered anything unsafe in Jason the idea that Jason might hurt didn't even cross her conscious mind). She doesn't realize when her eyelids start getting heavier.

"Wake me up if I fall asleep", She says, just incase.

/|\ ^._.^ /|\

Jason doesn't, she wakes up curled up in the Batmobile, assailants apprehended, Jason's jacket wrapped around her.

The NEWS says there were no casualties.

[bug-bites]

batfam beach episode?? real not clickbait no glue no borax??

cw: nothing! pure vacation beach fluff (p≧w≦q) also barely proofread,,,

pairing: gn!reader x batfam (NOT ALL AT ONCE.)

characters: dick grayson, jason babygirl todd, cassandra cain, tim drake, damian wayne (all intended to be interpreted as either romantic or platonic unless its damian. ik in some comic runs he's like an adult but hes like permanently 12 in my head and i dont fw that :/)

a/n: im back with a new dc obsession tee hee (soz to everyone who wanted more abt the cod guys or spiderverse im comicsmaxxing and redhoodpilled) will probably make a part 2 w/ bruce, babs, steph, and duke eventually :3c

Dick Grayson haha dick

oh he loves the beach so much

the sand beneath his feet make him feel nostalgic from when he would practice tumbling with his parents in the circus ring i think there's sand in circus rings right? I dunno someone fact check me on that one

the victim of being buried in the sand, always asks for a mermaid tail but ends up with something like massive sand tits (courtesy of either tim or jason), he laughs it off anyways

somehow gets the worst tan lines. He wore a swim shirt one time and never again because the tan lines looked SO BAD which is a total shame because he tans gorgeously

will beg to do play shoulder wars i have no clue if this is the right name, again fact check me for this thing where you get a piggyback ride from someone and you try to knock someone whos also getting a piggyback ride over in the water

you’re on his shoulders since bro is strong asf and you square up against tim and damian

obviously you lose because hello that's damian wayne we are talking about but at least its fun!!

cass and jason are forever the undefeated champions of shoulder wars though, that goes without saying

Cassandra Cain

shes always seen beach episodes in animes that damian practically dragged her into watching so when she gets to actually go to a beach she is so excited peak sibling bonding is dragging your siblings into your interests

loves building sandcastles and writing things in the sand, watching it get washed away, and then do it all over again

hold her hand and jump over waves together on the shore and she will be the giggliest and happiest human being alive on planet earth

but out of all the beach activities she loves beach volleyball

shes actually scarily good at beach volleyball for someone who has never played volleyball before

dick thought it would be fun to teach her and have a friendly match between him and bruce vs you and cass

yeah bruce and dick were COOKED. huffing and puffing like they have a vendetta against the three little pigs at the end of it while cass is like “this is so fun, lets go again!”

ends the day with a little sunset stroll along the shore i need her so bad you do not understand please bbyg ill treat u soooo well

Jason Todd

beaches are fun on paper for him, in person not so much

PERSONAL HC INCOMING! He gets migraines after the lazarus pit so he can only have so much fun before needing to lie face down with his head covered with a beach towel to make everything less overwhelming or he wears sunglasses the entire time

he brings a book to read at the beach and stays in the shade the entire time yes he is that bitch

usually at home in the comfort of his little library he likes to read things that have an impact on him or just stuff that makes him want to analyze deeper. think books like frankenstein, lord of the flies, all quiet on the western front, just generally heavier stuff

but his vacation books? totally different. usually something super light, maybe a shitty romance book that you find in walmart which are clearly just results of book packaging, or a some booktok recommendation he got for shits and giggles because it just was so laughably bad, maybe even a childhood feel-good book like percy jackson or the little prince (mostly just books he would not grieve over if sand permanently got in between the pages)

he tried reading a colleen hoover book once and honest to God wanted to toss it into the ocean HE WOULD HATE HER BOOKS AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

but out of everything he likes watching you enjoy yourself, his book wasnt that important anyways. show him that funky sand dollar you found or that really cool piece of seaglass, he’s probably gonna bring it home with him. a little keepsake along with the millions of grains of sand that never seem to go away

Tim Drake

Burns so easily

At first its kinda cute, like hes asking you to help him get that spot on his back he just cant seem to reach and its just a little sweet moment between you two as you rub the sunscreen into his sore muscles

But then it happens again. And again. And again to the point when he goes up to you, you automatically reach for the tube of SPF 100+ 

I just know his vitamin d deficiency goes crazy

Leaves the beach looking like a lobster, sunburnt, a crazy bump on his head from getting hit with a volleyball, and some god awful sunglasses tan lines

Overall, beach activities are not really his thing bros job is NAWT beach

Enjoys the boardwalk a lot more than the beach itself, likes the touristy stuff but still goes to the beach because dick loves it and he loves his older brother :(

Damian Wayne

i feel like he wouldn’t care too much for typical beach stuff. like at every beach that has sand and decently clean water you can do most beach activities

one thing that is never 100% consistent at all beaches is what lives on the beaches. this boy will spend hours staring into tidepools 

bruce was lowk concerned because his son did not gaf about normal beach activities that kids do but eventually he reached a point where he was like "i mean at least hes having fun and being safe"

i feel like talia would always show him books of sea creatures when he was little but he never ended up being able to see them in their natural habitat someone take this boy to an aquarium now

tells you fun facts about each creature you come across

will scold you if you take a shell from the beach, definitely says some shit like “how would you feel if someone ran into your house and just took your bed?”  based though, leave shells at the beach yall! taking them is like bad for the ecosystem

brings his notebook around and has little sketches of the sea creatures

even though typical beach activities arent his favourite, he doesnt hate it. he likes that he can catch a break from all the vigilante stuff and spend time with his family as a family and not just as a team

loves scuba diving. idk it just somehow makes sense and i think he would look really stupid in a wet suit

also i feel like he would never mention it but in his mind hes fully thinking "this is just like a beach episode" but he would rather die than say it out loud FUCKING NERDDD

[shyjusticewarrior]

Cass: Stephanie Brown, there may be many things happening in this hospital tonight, but your dying is not one of them.

Steph: But-

Cass: No! I did not sign on to your dying and it is not going to happen. Not tonight, not for a very long time.

Cass: In fact, I demand to go first. Do I make myself clear?

Steph: Yes, Cassie. You may go first.

[oldmannapping]

HC: The Batfam’s secret identities keep nearly being exposed through dumb mistakes, and citizens all over Gotham are constantly signing NDAs printed on ridiculously formal Bat insignia letterhead.

Tim: Used his Coffee Club rewards card for a free espresso as Red Robin, forgetting it was linked to his civilian identity because it was 3am and he was running on 42 hours without sleep.

Steph: Used her personal phone to tap-and-pay at Batburger with Cass. Bruce got pissy but she’s like, “Who accepts cash in a post-pandemic world, Mr Out Of Touch?” Used the experience to bargain a work phone out of Bruce.

Dick: Poses the exact same way in selfies with fans as both Nightwing and Dick Grayson. “What? Is it a crime to know my angles? I’m not apologising for having a good side!”

Damian: Constantly threatening people in League dialect as Robin and at school. It’s like a super niche language. People notice.

Jason: Grabbed one of his Red Hood jackets because it was cold and accidentally pulled out two grenades and a gun when asked for ID at the bar.

Duke: Straight up used his Signal powers to find something at the back of his locker at school. Like just lit up the hallway. “I thought I was alone!”

Cass: Took out cash from the ATM as a civilian for Batburgers with Steph, and paid as Black Bat. Someone at the bank traced the serial number of the bill and ATM surveillance footage. Batman declared that this wasn’t Cass’s fault and gave her another $50.

Alfred: Outsourced some of the superhero suit laundering to a professional company because he’s ONLY ONE MAN for god’s sake, and sometimes he needs an afternoon off.

Bruce: Literally just keeps adopting kids who look exactly like all the new crimefighters who help Batman. Has a massive public profile and just. Keeps syncing up families with Batman? People are like uhhh is he expecting us not to notice, or?

And all of them have accidentally posted to the wrong social media account at some point.

[livingtobethevillain]

My thoughts in how the bat kids would be when injured and recovering <3

So personally I think that Tim would be very quick to treat his injuries. Yknow missing spleen and all. Jason's the same way except he's very stubborn about getting help with injuries. It's like pushing against a concrete l wall unless your Alfred. And then I think there's damian and Cass who would actually be the ones to hide injuries. Their the type that's like "if I can keep going I'm gonna keep going". Cass would grow out of this a bit quicker than damian though. Then Dick is like-i think he would be really stubborn over the other bat kids getting treated for their injuries before him. He's like damian and cass in the way that's like "I'm not dying so it's fine". Then Steph would be very loud and obnoxious about the small stuff but would be unbothered and even try to be comforting towards the others if her injury is bad enough. Duke is really the only one who answers honestly when Bruce is like "hey are you hurt" but Duke will backtrack and try to make the injury seem less urgent

[gotham-bird]

Alfred: Is that another child, Master Bruce?

Bruce: OKAY in my defense they were already punching criminals. I’m just making sure they’re doing it with adult supervision now! And the right equipment!

Alfred:…. Of course, Master Bruce. A grown man in a bat suit running around at night is indeed adequate supervision for children who’re already making questionable choices for their lives.

Bruce: I can’t hear you over the sound of ADOPTION PAPERS AND JUSTICE ALFRED.

[sepia-stained-sunset]

Tim, Steph and Cass wear each others' mantles every once in a while just to see how long it takes for Bruce to catch on each time.

This habit is also why Kon refuses to flirt with Tim in costume; he's terrified he'll end up hitting on either his ex or on Tim's ex

[batcowenraged]

im tired of damian looking exactly like bruce. give me damian who looks like talia.

damian who bruce looks at and can't see any of himself in. damian who instead reminds bruce of talia with every smile and glare. damian who grows his hair when he's older as he's growing into his mother's face. and bruce suddenly has to be enforcing gotham/bat morals and rules on someone who looks far more like an al ghul than a wayne. damian who never gets as tall as his father or brothers and who doesn't build muscle the same way leaving him to fight like his mother and cass. like an assassin. damian who can't be batman the way he's always dreamed of because he will never be a looming vengeful presence capable of physical intimidation. and that's ok. because he can be worse. he's a batman that matches black bat. silent and terrifying and no one knows he's there until the fight is over. he fights quickly and efficiently with a combination of techniques that pull from black bat, huntress, batgirl, catwoman, and even nightwing (who is a gymnast/aerialist first and foremost) at their most terrifying. and on top of that everyone knows he used to be sword robin.

he doesn't need to look anything like bruce to be a terror inducing batman. and he doesn't need to look anything like bruce to cause bruce emotional turmoil.

[rad-batson]

THIS IS FOR FANS OF CASSANDRA CAIN! PLEASE READ! I WANT YOUR THOUGHTS

(skip to the bottom if you just want silly headcanons about her :D)

Hello! So first, I want to thank everyone who read the Wayne pilot I made :) I appreciate your feedback, and I love you all.

As I'm preparing to post it on AO3, I decided to make a few (admittedly small) changes to the script, primarily around Cassandra Cain, because I haven't quite fleshed her out yet.

I don't have much experience with writing Cass, so I decided to do a bit of research on her yesterday, and wouldn't you know? I fell in love. 10/10. She didn't play a huge part in the pilot, but she will have a bigger one in the second episode, and there are a few things I think can or should be added so she doesn't feel too one-note.

There wasn't anyone who told me this, by the way. (In fact, I actually got some nice comments about her so thank you.) I just had it in the back of my mind while writing, and now that Cass is getting more screen time, I'm finding that my lack of knowledge might lead to mischaracterization.

SO TO COMBAT THIS, I MADE A GUIDE FOR MYSELF ON HOW TO WRITE CASS

Is this overkill? Probably Think of it as a silly headcanon list for my version of her. And I'm posting it here because I want your feedback before it's set in stone. (I know Cass isn't written well a lot, so this is my attempt to right these horrid wrongs.)

If you're going to give criticism, please be constructive. Tell me what you like or don't like. I'm all ears. Have fun :)

Writing Cass

(Btw I still gotta read Cass’s first Batgirl run by Kelley Puckett)

Has some sass, has a lot actually

Used to be awkward in social settings. she’s better at it when she’s with people so she can match their energy but she still prefers to just dip

Speaks in short-ish sentences, trying her best tho

I WILL BE ADDING THIS INTO THE PILOT, I JUST WANT TO KNOW TO WHAT DEGREE?? OR IS IT REALLY FINE

Mostly just relies on body language though

I WILL BE ADDING THIS INTO THE PILOT TOO, ESPECIALLY WITH THE ASL SCENE (BUT IT’S NOT REPLACING THE ASL)

also yes i know her using ASL isn't canon, it just works best for the scene, it would have been written the same whether she was in it or not, it is still a cute nod to fanon tho

Steph and Cass are extremely close BUT ALSO HAVE SEPARATE LIVES (I HAVE BEEN TOLD TO STRESS THAT AND I AGREE)

Messy, low-key gross. Bad-ish hygiene but she’s good at looking put-together so only those close know this about her (this is just my headcanon)

Often forgets bigger words so she occasionally uses the wrong one, she ALSO mixes up proverbs but no one corrects her because 1: it’s cute and 2: they don’t want to discourage her from speaking with them more casually (also my headcanon)

Cass: So I pulled the door off its…*makes motion with hand*…metal books. Steph: Do you mean hinge— Cass: Metal books.

Dick: Well that was a surprise. I didn’t know The Penguin would be here. Cass, nodding: Well life gives you grapes Dick: Wut Cass: You make grape juice. Get on the same book, Nightwing

I'M ON THE FENCE ABOUT ADDING THIS ONE BECAUSE IDK LET ME KNOW PLEASE

Is a cinnamon bun AND a little shit, it’s a balancing act

Production: She’s Wayne’s darling Princess Cass: *will break your fingers*

She does appear behind the camera crew to scare them on purpose, she thinks it’s funny, she likes seeing them freak out

She is super competitive, but she's always like "Oh I'm not that competitive" *proceeds to be very competitive*

Because she isn't super confident in her writing or speaking (or just uncomfortable communicating without seeing the other person's body language) she prefers to Facetime or simply reply to texts with selfies of her reaction. It is a thing now. when you need an honest opinion about an outfit, text a photo to Cass. She will either give back a photo of a thumbs up or a photo of a grimace and some not-so-flattering emojis

Her princess persona is her public cover persona in this show, parallel to Bruce’s “Brucie” and Dick’s “born for the cameras” thing

Is surprisingly vocal (and sometimes snippy) about her distaste with things but she mostly gets a pass because her morals align best with Bruce’s

Is most snippy when her family uses methods other than violence when violence is clearly the faster option, god they're such pacifists

Tim: *trying carefully to pick a lock* Cass: Just break through the wall? Tim: We can’t do that. We’re trying not to be noticed. Cass: Wimp

Bruce: Cass, why did you have to dislocate that man’s shoulder? Cass: I put it back. Bruce: That’s not the point. Cass: Fine, I’ll dislocate it again.

Is the best fighter, none of this “oh she’s the best fighter so when people do win against her, it makes them look cooler” thing, shut tf up, she could break their bones (not important to the show ofc but I need to add this because it is important in general)

Horrible at drawing, wretched (again a headcanon but I did see someone else mention it somewhere)

Also bad at writing, refuses to study to improve out of principle (i.e. she told Babs she doesn’t need to and now she refuses to admit Babs was right)

(AND SIDE-HEADCANON IF SHE IS HORRIBLE AT WRITING AND ACTIVELY HATED STUDYING HER ALPHABET THEN WHAT IF LIKE ONE DAY SOMEONE SAYS “hey can you grab me one of these files from last week’s case, it’s under M” SHE’S LIKE “fuck you, how could you do this to me” WHILE SEARCHING FOR M OR MORE SIMPLY *throws something at them*)

That's all I have right now. If you'd like to give me any recommendations, please do. I can't promise I'll add in every single one because this show is still about the whole Batfam, not just her, but I want to do her justice, and that definitely involves more fine-tuning on my part

OKAY THAT'S ALL LOVE YOU BYE