#batfam on crack

[dc-and-damirae]

steph: My Mom is the worst! Ugh! jason: She sold you out to the joker? I feel that. steph: … steph: Hold on, I gotta go call my mom and apologize.

[incorrectbatfam]

Bruce is constantly asking the kids what they like to eat so he can freeze dry their favorites into oblivion as apocalypse rations

[strange-birb]

Based on og bost by @thethirdtriplet

Order left to right pic 1 lolz

Damian, cass, dick, duke, Tim, Steph :)

[moneypriestess]

Gothamites love the newest edition to the Wayne family.

Even though Danny comes from a small town he acts more like a true gothamite than some kids that grew up in Gotham.

Most of the Wayne children come from the streets, yet only Danny acts like he still remembers it. It's been at least a year since he was officially adopted. If you don't count the 6 months he was fostered by Bruce Wayne, usually after that amount of time passed the child should have become all rich kid polite and shit.

everyone remembers when dick was first adopted, yes, he was still Roudy after the first year but all that wild crazy energy he had was zapped by his full belly and silk pillows. Then there was Jason Todd, and before his unfortunate passing, he too had lost that wild energy that the streets bred.

next was Tim who didn't really count because he was a rich kid that got adopted to be an even richer kid.

then Cass and Damian just appeared out of nowhere and instead of the crazy gothamite energy the first two had, they had this calm crazy energy instead, that kind of mellowed out as the years passed.

Yet Danny stayed the same, in fact, all gothamites fondly remember just last week when they watched the news to see Danny bite the hand of a journalist that tried to touch him without permission.

yes, all the true gothamites loved the newest edition to the Wayne family.

[flamingpudding]

Guys it's just merch

Danny watched with a smile hidden behind his mug of hot cocoa his new family. Originally he was only going to mess with them a little, since he wanted to keep his civilian live he gained with them but at the same time wanted to kind of provoke them to tell him about their night time jobs on their own.

Not like he could just flat out tell them he knew about their vigilantes lifes and that would be embarrassing to explain.

It's not every day that Danny's powers fluked on him, but with the stress of the past months, it happened. Right at a moment, he had to be clumsy and trip over his own feet and accidentally phased through a grandfather's clock, finding a hidden passage. Well at least he learned that way that Batman hadn't placed him with some other rich fruitloop that wasn't his godfather but well... with Batman himself and his family out of mask.

Yeah no, he did not want to explain that and hoped they would do that themselves. But apparently, they took Danny's statement of wanting a normal life a bit too serious.

Which brought him back to his current entertainment in the form of messing with his siblings.

"I don't get what the problem is guys. It's just merch." He chuckled slightly at the face Damian was making. While Jason chose to kick Tim under the table.

"Soooo how much merch on Red Robin do you have with this shirt now?" Dick asked instead with a bright smile, Danny still hadn't figured out how to tell what emotion he hid behind them sometimes.

"I think this is my third shirt of him." Danny mused, placing his cup back on the table and tapping his lip in a thinking motion. "Though I was going to pick up a couple of custom-made jackets of Red Hood and a Nightwing plush later today."

He acted like he did not hear the triumph like hiss of 'yes' from Jason as well as the very upset huff of Damian.

He just grinned at the amusement about how they apparently were competing over how much merch he owned of each of them.

When he found a Robin figure and several Robin pins mysteriously placed on his desk the next morning, he broke out laughing. Yet still just to mess with them gushed about his newly gotten merch to his family while sharing a knowing look with Alfred who knew he was just messing with them.

If there was a surprising amount of Batman merch, suddenly mixed into what he already owned the following week without his knowledge. Well, he wasn't going to complain about free stuff.

But he still would get a good laugh out of their reactions on the day he decided to full on dawn every piece of Batman merge instead of theirs.

[webshood]

Wayne's social media where all Tim does is be everyone's 1# hater (accidentally deleted it lol)

It always backfires with Bruce

[fanaticalthings]

I know Jason always calls Dick the "Golden child" and in comics tends to paint him as this unbeatable person in terms of morals/goodness in his head, which makes Jason feel inferior and not good enough..

but I think it'd be so fucking funny if instead of Jason thinking he'll never be as good as Dick, it's actually him just mocking his brother around others, because Jason 100% remembers Dick on multiple occasions offering his 12yo self weed while Bruce wasn't around, and he's the only sibling with the knowledge that Dick wasn't this "holier than thou, I make no mistakes and am perfect" child, which is why Jason keeps praising to the younger batfam members on how Dick is so perfect KNOWING that Dick was absolutely not that.

[akuchi-nya]

a fast draw of jay kissing roy atfer the gitar solo, i really think they would be a wild couple on the stage hehe

this beautiful au is from @strange-birb I love her!! and all this "the secret band"

ps: I love to think that in this UA they are not vigilant so that every time Tim hangs on stage Bruce will have a heart attack hahahahah

[dc-and-damirae]

tim: I’m making subtle hints that my family should go to therapy. ~ jason: Damn, I dropped my chopsticks. tim: Like dad dropped the ball on raising us? You know what help with that? Some fucking therapy dick: Can I eat in peace?!?!

[incorrectbatfam]

What if Janet went into Labor with Tim during a Wayne gala and Bruce helped deliver him, but Bruce didn’t realize Tim was the same baby

Until a random stakeout/confrontation with a villain/league meeting, he remembers suddenly and just straight up goes

“I birthed you”

He then starts to think back to all the other women he helped and like...

– Teenage Bruce stopping in the middle of his day to help Mary Grayson call the hospital when her water breaks in public

– His first test of people skills as Batman is looking after Sandra Wu-San, not knowing she'd become Lady Shiva

– A short while later Batman does the same for Sheila Haywood because Willis didn't bother to show up

– Arthur Brown being too absorbed in his scandals and early scheming to be present so Batman swoops in for Crystal

– Then Janet Drake going into labor at a Wayne gala and Bruce helping her through that

– Couple years later, Batman keeping Elaine Thomas company in the twilight hours

– He stops to help Talia amidst a dangerous battle, not knowing the baby is his and her maintaining the secret

– He gets sidetracked on a time travel mission and assists a stranger, not realizing it's Mary Pennyworth

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

AU where Jason didn’t die and is smol still and everything is just peachy and everyone else still shows up on schedule and maybe the Joker died of “natural” causes and things are generally going pretty well.

And then there are Flash Time Shenanigans™️ or someone punching a hole in reality or whatever, and Jason wakes up one morning having grown fourteen inches and gained ninety pounds that’s pretty much all muscle and no one really knows what’s happened but what can you do except roll with it.

Also Jason now keeps bonking his head on the top of the car when he gets in and has to find some good explanation for his college advisor and the other five hundred or so people that are going to ask him if stress-induced meta powers are a thing because it’s two weeks until finals and they’ll take any hope they can get.

Tim is doing so many calculations to see if something like this might happen to him too. It will not.

Anytime thereafter they meet any of their alternate universe counterparts the number one thing that has everyone else’s jaw dropping is the revelation that Jason was, for a good couple of years at least, shorter than Tim.

[strange-birb]

I had too… I just had too

[moneypriestess]

New official hero Danny Phantom meeting the Justice League for the first time with an excited smile and face that just screams baby: "hi!"

Billy batson AKA captain Marvel wondering why all the gods in his head started screaming at the sight of his new co-worker; "hi?"

[my-name-is-calypso]

Dp X dc prompt

Danny gets kidnapped by the joker

The joker is doing this Live on TV, to gwt The attention of Batman.

He is doing his villain monologue

" -you know? It so crazy that-"

" Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room, a Rubber room, a Rubber room with rats. Rats? Rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room, a Rubber room, a Rubber room with rats. Rats? Rats make me crazy. Crazy?-"

When the Batfam arrives the Joker is crying on the floor while in the fetal position, Danny is still going at it, and he is not stopping any time soon

[spite-and-waffles]

Bruce, picking up a stray: "He reminds me of me!" :333

Bruce, a couple of years later: "Why is he such a stubborn, self-destructive drama queen??" >((

[thedrunknextdoor]

titans tower au where when jason reveals himself he lets it slip that he’s been alive for years and tim just gets fucking pissed

Tim: Are you telling me that i became batman’s therapist for NOTHING????

Jason, mid monologue: what

Tim: *rips mask and cape off* DO U KNOW HOW HARD I WORKED TO KEEP THAT MAN FROM SELF-DESTRUCTING??? AND U WERE ALIVE THE WHOLE GODDAMN TIME????

Jason: uhm-

Tim: no FUCK U! take robin im going to take a fucking nap