#lgbtq+ writer

[allthefandomsbby]

Support an indie author? My new poetry collection is available on KU!

Information on how amazon pays indie authors:

Did you know that Amazon pays KU authors by the number of pages legitimately read? Each 50 pages read will be about 15p (£0.15) for the author!

Listed prices are not much better, if the author lists their ebook for less than £1.77, they are only given the 30% royalties option, so a 99p (£0.99) ebook will earn them 33p! If the price is over £1.77 they can select the 70% royalties option, so a £1.99 ebook will earn the author about £1.39. The earnings within a month are then kept in amazon's accounts until 3 months later when the author receives payment.

Happy to answer questions on this!

[gor3sigil]

Before starting T, when I socially transitionned, I was surrounded by radical feminists who saw masculinity as gross and inherently evil, something to avoid, something to make fun of, something to destroy. The other transmascs in my friend group, sometimes, told me that they didn’t knew if they really were non-binary or if they just were scared shitless of saying “I am a man”. Because they saw this as a betrayal to their younger self who had been SAd and abused.

I saw many of my masc friends and trans men around me hate themselves, not outing themselves as men because it would imply so so much, it was like opening the Pandora Box. Even when we were just together, talking about our masculinity was always coated with bits like “I know we’re the privileged ones but…”, “I don’t want to sound like I have it bad but…”, “Women obviously have it worse, but last time…” and we were talking about terrible traumas we experienced while taking all the precautions in the world in the case the walls were a crowd of people in disguise waiting to get us if we didn’t downplay the violence we faced, or like crying and being upset and being traumatized and afraid and scared and to say it out loud would make us throw up the needles we were forced to swallow every second of every day living in our skin.

Most of us weren’t on T yet, some of us were catcalled every day and harassed in the streets or in abusive relationships nobody seemed to care to help them get out of because they were “strong enough” to do it by themselves.

I was using the gender swap face app and cried for ours when I saw my father looking back at me through the screen. The idea of transforming, of shedding into a body that would deprive me of love, tenderness, and safety, was absolutely terrifying. I knew I couldn’t stay in this body any longer because it wasn’t mine, but I also knew that if I was going to look like my dad, my brother, my abusers, it would be so much worse.

5 years later and I’m almost 2 years on T, and almost 2 months post top surgery.

I ditched my previous group of friends. I was bullied out of my local trans community. But let me tell you how free I am.

I was scared that T would break my singing voice: it made it sound more alive than ever.

I was scared that T would make me less attractive: it made me find myself hot for the first time in my life.

I was scared that T would make me gain weight: it did. But the weight I put on is not the weight I used to put on by binging and eating my body until I forgot that it even existed. It’s the weight of my body belonging to me, little by little. The wolf hunger for life.

I won’t tell you the same story I see everywhere, the one that goes “I started going to the gym 8 times a week, I put on some muscles, I started a diet and now I look like an action film actor”, in fact if you took pictures of me from 5 years ago vs now I’d just have more acne, I’d have longer hair and still look like I don’t know what to do with myself when I take selfies.

But the sparkle in my eyes, my smile, tell the whole story way better than this long ass stream of words could ever.

I want to say some things that I wish someone told me before starting medically transitionning.

It’s okay to take your time. It’s your body, it’s your journey, if you don’t feel comfortable taking full doses and want to go slow, the only voice you need to listen to is your own. Do what feels right.

If you feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a break, it’s okay to ask for support.

Trans people are holy. Everyone is. You didn’t lose your angel wings when you came out because you want to be masculine. You are not excluded from the joy of existence, from being proud of yourself, from being sad, from being scared, from being angry. The emotions and feelings you allowed yourself to feel while processing what you experienced when you grew up as a girl and was seen as a woman are still as valid as before. Nobody can take that from you. If someone tries to, don’t let them.

It’s perfectly normal to grieve some things you were and had before you started to transition, like your high soprano voice or even your chest. Hatching is painful. You can find comfort in things that don’t feel right, so making the decision to change can be incredibly scary and weird and you deserve to be heard and supported through this. Wanting top surgery doesn’t make the surgery less intense, less terrifying, less painful to recover from. When it becomes too much you have the right to take a break and take some deep breaths before going on.

You don’t have to have a radical, 180° change for your transition to be acceptable or valid or worthy of praise. Look at how far you’ve come already. It doesn’t have to show, you’re not made to be a spectacle, you’re human and it is your journey.

Oh, and last thing, you know when some people say “Oh this trans person has to grow out of the cringy phase where you think that you can write essays about being trans or transitionning or just their experience because it’s weird” ? If you ever hear this or see this online, remember all the people whose writing you read and, even if they were not professional writers, helped you more than any theorists did ? If you want to write, do it. It won’t be a waste. It can help people. Or it won’t, and even then, if it helped you, that’s enough.

Love every of my trans siblings, take care of yourselves. You deserve the world.

[eziojensenthe3rd]

Republicans nuked KOSA. Its considered DOA and wont be showing up at the house. This is good news certanly but its not entirely over. This bill got bipartisan support back in the senate, dickheads from both sides thought the idea behind kosa was worth doing, its just that the republican party decided to nuke it for reasons im trying to figure out? To try to deny a win for democrats similar to how they stopped a cancer research bill?

Something like kosa will pop up again, kosa itself may just rise from the grave and we'll have to go through this same song and dance so all i can say is stay informed on this type of shit. Inform your senators and reps not to support this shit and if they dont oppose it, vote them out in the next election they're running in.

There are bills that do in fact regulate the internet in a way that helps but also doesnt violate free speech by targeting how data is harvested. Thise bills should be pushed while censorship should die. For now, celebrate this day. KOSA atm is dead, done so in a manner so anticlimatic yet deserving. But be vigilant.

[existential-queeer]

Listen, I'm not the type to look for homoeroticism in every single male duo in media. Not everyone swings that way.

But those two?

I smell the fruitiest of fruit, your honor.

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

[tommy2020]

I’m a boy and I kiss other boys.

I’m a boy and I was not born a boy.

I’m a boy and I use unconventional pronouns.

I’m a boy and I want to live as a boy.

I’m a boy and I want to be free to say that out loud.

I’m a boy and I want to live without fear of being hurt.

Just like the other boys.

My friend is a girl and she likes boys.

My friend is a girl and she was not born a girl.

My friend is a girl and uses she/her.

My friend is a girl and she wants to be called a girl, not a slur.

My friend is a girl and she should be allowed to live as a girl.

My friend is a girl and she shouldn’t be assaulted because she is a girl.

Just like the other girls.

My sibling is nonbinary and they like every gender.

My sibling is nonbinary and they were not born that way.

My sibling is nonbinary and uses whatever pronouns they feel like.

My sibling is nonbinary and wants to be perceived as a person too.

My sibling is nonbinary and should be allowed to choose what they call themselves.

My sibling is nonbinary and shouldn’t be shoved under the rug because their gender identity “doesn’t make sense”.

Just like other people.

WE ARE PEOPLE.

TRANS RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS.

[brandyschillace]

I grew up as the weird (autistic) goth kid who spent a lot of time in graveyards. I didn’t have friends. So I invented them. That’s why I’m an author, I think. I crafted worlds full of wondrous diversity, quirky characters, peculiar souls. I knitted them into families. I often felt at home when I read; the work of Neil Gaiman, of Terry Pratchett, of Ursula Le Guin, of Terry Brooks… My fiction is meant to be participatory too. When you read it, you should feel like you came home and friends were waiting to greet you.

Maybe in a really cool graveyard—like this one at Scone Castle.

[longlostlesbian]

no matter what anyone says. im still trans. i could stay in the closet forever and i’d still be trans. you could misgender me on my headstone and i’d still be trans.

even if the world “eradicates” trans people, i’d still be trans. if there wasn’t a word for transgender i would still be trans. if transgender people were erased from history we would still be trans, because we existed and we were trans.

i am and will always be transgender. no matter what people say about us. we have always been here and we still always stay here, even if you dont like it.

[venus111]

Astrology observations

🫀 Taurus placements are lowkey envious of others but they can hide it very well

🫀 Saturn in the 1st house natives are blessed with high cheekbones

🫀 Chiron in the 4th house can have toxic family, they are usually kicked out of their homes with no notice

🫀 Pluto in 6th house undeveloped makes you have bad habits that slows you down or ultimately prevent you from reaching your goals or destination

🫀 sun in the 2nd house synastry can make the house person obsessed wanting to be wherever the planet person is

🫀Mars in the 4H synastry can make the house person be very mean to the planet person

🫀 Capricorn in the 12th house natives have suicidal thoughts especially when they are highly stressed/jobless

🫀 Libra Mars have the worst temper when angered

🫀 Virgo/Gemini in the 8th house and Lilith in 2H can have thieving tendencies

🫀 Pisces risings are copied by their friends like take on your style/mannerism/words/ideas

🫀 water moons intuition is enormous although it is sometimes self-serving

🫀 most LGBTQ movie actors have mutable placements

🫀 Leo placements have main character energy

[iamsumitshubham]

Need Help

Hi everyone I’m a college student struggling with rent and bills. I have 2 months rent due and I also need some money for groceries. My situation is getting really bad. I’m in urgent need of some help right now. Please help in any way possible. Any amount would be very helpful. Please consider helping.

0/700

[mariathechosen1]

Do you read fanfiction? Are you queer? Well then I’ve got the perfect survey for you!

Hi! I’m a student writing a research paper on the prevalence of queer couples and lgbtq+ representation in fanfiction and need participants for my survey. This project will be entered in a national (Very prestigious) research competition and will be judged by an academic jury. The more answers I get on this survey, the more accurate my research will be, so I'd really appreciate it if you would take the time to answer! 

https://forms.gle/8sae8vzQRERAzYiX8

Update: The survey is currently being redone! You can find the reasoning behind this (and other FAQ) here [https://at.tumblr.com/mariathechosen1/queer-participation-and-representation-in/i689fhq3b2vn] and the new survey here: https://forms.gle/Tcoafs9dU627PNcn8

Here are some reasons to partcicipate: 

Science and stuff

Force a highly prestigious academic jury to read more than 20 pages about gay fanfiction 

Better my chances of winning real-life money by writing more than 20 pages about gay fanfiction

Help expand a largely ignored academic field (fandom studies)

It’ll only take like 8 minutes (5 minutes if you’re quick)

Uhhmmm…

Please?

The only requirement is that you have some sort of experience with fanfiction or fan works (Whether that be writing or reading). You do not have to be queer to participate and all answers are completely anonymous

Reblogs are appreciated!

[queerism1969]

[talkbycolor]

john doe game headcanons . . . ↷

A/N; i'm actually really sensitive about john doe JHSAJHSAJAS

Pairing; "John Doe" x GN!Reader

CW; Just doe being the weirdo we love / PISSPISSPISS / implied cannibalism? not so much tho / ew stinky gay / sex with a hairball

john doe as a partner.

His love for you is pure, but the lack of understanding in humans makes it complicated, he doesn't know how to express it in a "correct" way.

He has little interest in humans but all his interest in You, do you want to learn to play an instrument? Doe too, he would learn to use a phone to call you although it would be useless since in the end he would follow you to work, he can't stand having you away for even a second!

He tried to eat you (unfortunately not in a sexual way), he wanted to bite, pull your teeth, and tear them out of your cheeks to eat them, you had to use a lot of patience to explain to him that this was painful and you could die

He likes your fluids, your sweat smells so good, it tastes great, your tears, he knows that tears mean something is wrong but he can't help but want to lick them, at least he's like a puppy in that way and that will make you laugh, Doe wants to help! your urine, he will drink it all without a problem, if you are both having a loving session in bed and you want to go to the bathroom, forget it, he will open your legs and help empty your bladder, he loved being your personal toilet, your blood is the sweetest of his paradise, be careful with accidental cuts or his mouth will stick like a leech to your wound

Ideas for romantic activities will probably come from television, be careful what he watches

At this point, Doe lives by and for you, he will adapt to your lifestyle and tastes, although he cannot understand most of them, the idea of "breaking up" does not exist in his head, you can walk away, even stop talking to him and he will continue behind you

But he has feelings, why don't you talk to him anymore? Did he do something wrong? He no longer leaves rats in the kitchen, he no longer tries to make You dinners with raw meat, is that the way he looks? Tell him your standards! Doe will change everything for you, even reality

He can definitely purr, he's more like an old, ugly, stray cat that will rest on your lap, but he's YOUR, old, ugly, stray cat.

He doesn't know how to give compliments, it's more like observations or comments about how you make him feel "You're wearing a big hat!" "A red dress!", "I'm so happy to see you!" but it's adorable that he reminds you that you are his whole life…somehow

It's like having a child at home, in the strangest way possible, he will try to make horrible crafts for you and help with housework without much success.

If you demand sex, Doe would probably do his best to make a nice cock, just for you, or a pussy depending on what you like, he will be submissive but if you ask him to take control he will try

And that will probably be the messiest and hardest sex you've ever had in your life, Doe always adores you like it's your last day on earth so in a sexual sphere it would be ten times worse

If you put on a movie at night, he will fall asleep halfway through, no exceptions, the sound of the television and your smell will be enough

Doe would definitely kill for you, he doesn't understand jokes so please don't say "Ugh I hate that guy, I hope he's dead" because yes, the guy will be dead.

In case You doesn't like the smelly boy, Doe will try to take showers regularly, at least to not smell like something out of the sewer, the pain doesn't matter if it's about you

Loves physical contact and quality time

Surprisingly, Doe has a driver's license, he would be your personal chauffeur, you may think it's an adorable gesture but he just wants to be sure where you are at every hour of the day… and help, of course.

Aside from adoring you, Doe actually has his own tastes and hobbies, he HAS feelings! He has tried knitting since the technology is very confusing, he really is like an old man

He tries to have a good relationship with your friends and family, if you have a big family he will probably feel overwhelmed but that doesn't mean he will stop trying to show that he loves you and wants to be with you.

Your younger nephews love it, they think of Doe as a weird-looking uncle who lets them play with his hair

Doe shirt always has hearts when he looks at You.

♡

[rimunagenius]

The Five Times Caitlin Clark Wanted to Kiss You - C.C

❝ word count: 3.4k ❞

❝ warnings: RPF!! , fluff , two massive idiots in love ❞

❝ rimunagenius speaks: this might be the very first time i fulfilled the promise of uploading something the night I say i will … everybody clap for me pls!! 🙂‍↔️ anyways … sorry this is actually pretty long but i actually feel like i cooked so bad on this !!! also yes, i used todays game day fit for reference in this … do not judge me rn … ❞

| Women’s Basketball Masterlist |

The first time:

You two had been best friends your entire lives. You lived right next door so seeing each other almost every day, being together all hours of the day wasn't an uncommon occurrence. That's why when you two had been couped up in her room all day, a long day of swimming in her pool, it didn't phase anyone in the home. Including yours. 

The talk about starting your senior year of high school was something that came up quite often this summer. Nerve-wracking but also excitement-inducing. "Who do you think will play again this year?" You lay on your back, your feet at the edge of the bed, the cool wall barely ghosting your toes while your head hung off the bed, next to Caitlin's. 

You looked to the side, analyzing Caitlin's face. She looked very pretty. Her cheeks were rosy from the slight sunburn that began to set into her pale skin, brown spots that appeared to be new freckles scattering her rosy cheeks. 

She sat on the floor, her back resting against the bed you appeared to be dangling off of. She turned her head to you, looking away quickly realizing the proximity between the both of you. Her patience and self-discipline began to grow weary the last two months of summer being around you all the time. She couldn't help but notice that you had grown into the most beautiful girl in the world. 

"Well, I know Sydney got pissed last season because we played well together that she only got playing time when you and I weren't on the court or the field. So I have no idea if she'll want to come back." She shrugged looking back at you, her eyes dropping to your tongue dragging across your lips quickly before looking away. 

"Yeah, I feel bad about that. We're just better together." You looked at your best friend, her brown eyes locking with yours for what felt like the longest moment of the whole day. 

"Definitely better." She whispered, suddenly the urge to meet her lips with yours getting increasingly harder by the second. Suddenly it didn't feel like she was all alone in what she seemed to think about you this whole summer. 

You scooted your head just a tiny bit closer, closing the distance to dangerous proximity, your breath practically fanning over the other. You both inched closer, the tension between the both of you growing. 

"Dinner's ready." Colin came bursting through the door, looking at the both of you. Both your heads shot in the direction of the intrusion, suddenly whisking away any possibility of you two. 

"We'll be right there." You said, cheeks suddenly growing hot and pink as you sat yourself upright and stood. 

Caitlin Clark, your best friend, just almost kissed you. 

The second time:

You two had just graduated and you both couldn't be any happier graduating together. The celebration with your families took place tomorrow so tonight was just you and Caitlin. All of your friends had left a while ago, pushing an hour ago, and you two stayed at the cool lake together. 

She just picked you up and ran and jumped into the water with you. You came up from the water laughing so hard your stomach hurt, it softly echoing in the space around you. You swam in front of Caitlin, studying her face as the sun began to set behind you, the pretty hues painting another artwork on her already flawless face. The pretty pattern they painted in her chocolate eyes. 

You fought the feelings you had been growing for the brunette all of your senior year. It wasn't obvious to anyone else but you two. The irony of it all made you laugh. "Will you miss me when I'm gone? Promise to visit or meet back home?" You asked. The soft pain in your heart started to settle and make home when she announced she committed to the University of Iowa and you Iowa State University. 

Both are at home but yet so far away from each other. "Of course, I'll miss you. How could I not miss this pretty yet obnoxious face hounding me every day." She ruffled your wet hair, swimming a little closer towards you. Would it be strange to say that in the cold water, you could still feel her warm body radiating its warmth towards you? 

"Good. Can't have you going and abandoning me now that you're miss hotshot, all-star recruit." You hugged her, enjoying the stark contrast of the water and her body against yours. You pulled away, your eyes getting lost in hers. You couldn't possibly kiss her. 

She fought demons and all the thoughts telling her to just kiss you because she won't see you for a long time after you both leave. One kiss wouldn't hurt the friendship, right? But it would. She didn't know for sure that you liked girls. The longing glances, the lingering touches, and the indirect confessions you two shared late at night throughout the year still weren't sufficient pieces of evidence to convince the brunette that you shared the same admiration she did for you. Love. She was in love with you. 

She couldn't ruin the friendship. That's why when she noticed both your breathing growing heavy, the eyes bouncing from eye to eye and to each other's lips, the declining distance, she had to cut it short. She'd rather love you in silence than announce it to the world and lose you in the process. "You're my best friend, you know that?" She looked at your face, scanning it to make sure she didn't say the wrong thing. Maybe she should have just kissed you. In the privacy and knowledge of only you two. 

"Yes, of course. You're mine." You whispered, pulling apart and reaching for the deck to pull yourself out of the water and dry off for the night. 

The third time:

You had quite literally sweated through your tank top under your Clark jersey while you anxiously watched what was the last minute of the BIG 10 tournament with the Clark family. Your team had been eliminated a couple of games ago, so you made haste in coming to see your favorite girl play.  You and her mom holding hands, Colin on your other side while you held his hand. Caitlin had a stellar game so far, so you shouldn't have felt as worried as you did, but you couldn't help but feel nervous because you knew how badly she wanted this. 

You came to see her and have been attached at the hip for the last three days like old times. You watched her relentlessly practice her shots, you assisting in her off-the-dribble shots, contested shots, her quick release shots. You spent hours in the gym with her. You watched her practice and the team, you had complete and utter faith that they'd secure the win, it was just nerve-inducing to watch it all unfold. 

She had pulled another logo three off a screen, the whole family, including you, celebrating among the thousands of other people in the arena. The cheering halted for moments before the final buzzer, signaling the win Iowa University had secured. 

The shouting and screaming that ensued was enough to rupture the eardrums in every single being in this arena. You and Colin embraced while jumping up and down that all of your guys' favorite girl had won the biggest game in her career. This was truly an unreal feeling for a mere spectator in Caitlin's life, so you couldn't possibly imagine how this must've felt to Caitlin while she celebrated with her team on the court. 

It wasn't long before the family was allowed to make their way to the court and celebrate with the champions. You greeted all of Caitlin's friends who had soon become yours within the last few days. You congratulated them on their win and praised their efforts in making it all possible. 

You caught the eye of Caitlin, deep into a post-game interview, her eyes meeting yours, a soft smile gracing her lips as yours reached your eyes. You couldn't have been more happier and proud that she achieved what she so desperately wanted and hoped to accomplish for herself and this program. 

You and her parents waited for her to finish all her other obligations before thinking to interrupt to celebrate, it was quite taxing due to the excitement and pride the five of you harbored for the brunette, but it left a lull in the celebration between you. "You know, I'm glad you were able to be here. I know how much it means to Caitlin that you could make it tonight. I know how much it means to me and Anne that you stayed her best friend through all these years, being another major support system for our girl. You're a part of our family and we love you, kiddo. Just thought I should mention it." Brent leaned to the side, and low, to be able to reach your ear close enough so you could hear him over the roar of cheers among the women and their families. 

His eyes trained on the happiness of his daughter while she hugged her teammates trying to make her way to you guys. You looked up to the man, the man whose house you spent the majority of your childhood in. You smiled to yourself at his confession, nearly bringing tears to your eyes. "Of course. I was happy to come and make her game. I wouldn't miss it for the world. She's worked so hard and I'm glad to see the amazing player and woman she hoped to be." You patted his back, him looking at you at your confession of Caitlin. "I'm glad you consider me part of the family too. I would hope so because then I spent all those years asking for food and sleepovers for nothing, Mr. Clark." You both laughed. 

Unbeknownst to you both, Caitlin had been sauntering over to the lot of you. Her family. She never admired your beauty more than she did right now. She loved that you could spend the moments in her absence, talking and laughing with her parents and brothers. The look of this picture seemed so natural to you. 

She could kiss you so badly right now, wanting nothing more to relish in the thought of you finally being far more than just her best friend. The attraction she had for you, doubled tenfold, just by the small interaction you shared for being absent for the last three months. 

She couldn't get enough of you. 

The fourth time: 

It was mere hours passed from the point where you, Caitlin, and your family celebrated her win in the BIG Ten tournament that you two spent the night quietly in your apartment. You had invited her over, leaving the option for her to celebrate with her family of course, and she gladly accepted your invitation. 

You two had cleaned up for the night, you changed your clothes, showering most immediately when arriving home, letting Caitlin wander around your place for the first time. She showered second, changing into old pajamas you kept of hers over the years. "Cait, I seriously can't believe you guys did it! I mean, I can, but oh my god it's still crazy." You looked at Caitlin who sat at the island barstool just watching you. Attentive to what you had been saying and the way your eyes literally shined talking about her. It settled a warm feeling in her chest, that some like you, especially you, could talk about her with such joy and adoration. 

"You literally looked amazing out there, Cait." You smiled at her, placing the strawberries you had been cutting into the bowl next to the cutting board. You two had already eaten dinner at a restaurant with some players from the team and their families. You two just wanted a snack and all you had were strawberries and whipped cream. 

"Thank you, pretty." The blush in your cheeks suddenly matched those of the berries you had just placed in front of Caitlin. You turned to grab the whipped cream from the fridge, trying to bask in the cool air to ease the flustered look on your face. Failing miserably. 

"Of course, Cait." You smiled. You really could not stop smiling whenever you had been around her. It was becoming concerning. Not literally, but seriously, the happiness and giddiness were becoming funny at this point, especially amusing the brunette in front of you. You suppose that's why she kept calling you names like that. Except the effect is more efficient in person and not over Facetime. "Do you want something to drink?" You asked, clearing your throat. Suddenly the air becoming increasingly thick to breathe when she looks at you the way she has been for the last twenty minutes. 

You opened the cupboard, noticing that the cups you needed were on the second shelf, the shelf you indeed could not reach. "Hey, do you min—" You turned to face Caitlin, seeing her already two steps ahead of you. 

She stood behind you, placing one hand on your hip. Surely she needed to balance herself, but she was six foot...

You sighed quietly, fully knowing she could hear you but it didn't matter. She reached her other hand, picking up two glasses with one hand with ease. Caitlin waited til the last possible second to remove her hand from its place on your hip. She placed the glasses, down, closed the cabinet, and turned you around to face her, all while her one hand remained on your body. 

Looking at her this close, with the both of you sharing the same look, and surely the same thoughts about the other, was something totally different than all the other times. Granted the other times both of you had a nudge of what could transpire between you both, just less courage and lack of all the information keeping you from doing so. 

But right now, the reaction she managed to draw from you, her being so close she could hear it and feel you beneath her, the feeling of your body growing warm at the mere thought of her touching you anywhere else was something so different. There was more clarity about your guys' relationship right now than there has ever been before. 

"You're so pretty. Do you know that? It's unreal." Caitlin whispered, her face now next to your ear, the feeling of her breath sending chills anywhere and everywhere. You could not believe this was happening right now. How could you two act like best friends if what you think is about to happen happens?

"I wouldn't say unreal." You seriously could not muster a better response than the first, most flustered, yet idioticly undertoned answer that came to mind.  You looked into her eyes, suddenly unaware of anything else. Her eyes were chocolate brown, almost black in ill-lighted rooms but right now they were the center of your captivation. It would be a national crime to look away right now. 

Caitlin could see the way she was making you feel right now. She couldn't lie to herself and say she didn't feel the same way you did, she was just better at hiding it than you were. "No, I think that's exactly the word I'd use. So pretty." Her voice gets significantly faint and breathless at her last sentence. Her lips now significantly closer to yours. 

You reached a hand up and rested it on her cheek instinctually. You held her face close, your body now pressing into hers. Both of Caitlin's hands were resting on either hip, holding you as close as you'd allow. 

This was a major dynamic change of your friendship and you two were processing this as you went. It was scary to think about. You tilted your head up, breath fanning over her lips, her pace in breaths matching yours. Both of you felt so extremely overwhelmed but the good kind. Your eyes met each other, the action making it feel like a butterfly sanctuary inhabited your belly as the moment occurred. 

"Caitlin, are you going to kiss me or not?" You sighed, the desperation evident in the tone of your voice. You sighed at the force of which one of her hands reached the back of your neck, pulling your face into hers. She kissed you so hard you couldn't breathe. The way she grabbed so gently yet so desperately like if she didn't, you'd vanish. 

This was truly something out of a movie. The years of build-up between the both of you. The feelings that were so secretive yet not so. It was a perfect act that transpired in your kitchen. 

The fifth time: 

Caitlin was in a rush to get ready, fully under the impression that you were already done and just waiting on her. The second you both walked into your shared apartment in Indiana, Caitlin bolted to your guys' room and hopped in the shower. They had beat Chicago Sky for the second time this season and you had gone in shorts and a black form-fitted crop top, with Caitlin's jersey over it. You had told her you had to change and that was it, but it panicked Caitlin that she would have to complete a whole routine before she would be ready. 

"Baby, have you seen my—" She paused in her hurried state, looking at you, suddenly unimpressed at the state she found you in. "Baby, are you kidding me?" She chuckled softly as she found your face buried in a pillow. You had already put on your spaghetti strapped, long pencil dress, curled your hair, and all you had to do was your makeup. 

"I'm just a little tired, Cait." You turned over, looking at your fiancé with a sleepy smile on your face. You patted the spot next to you, putting your face back into the pillow. Wanting to be near your beautiful girl at the moment while you lay in your shared bed. 

"Let me get dressed. You need to do your makeup before you start to complain that I didn't tell you sooner because you have no time." She slid on a sports bra and a white crop top. Her underwear and her forest green shorts followed. She plopped on the bed next to you. 

"I don't want to do my makeup but I do. I just want to lay here with you. For like...ever." You sighed as you rolled onto your side, your arm sliding over her stomach, cuddling you two together. "Baby, we have to go." You sighed, looking at her with a pout on your lip.

"Yeah, I know that. You're the one laying on me." Caitlin looked down at you, watching you get up. She sat there and watched you as you walked up to your vanity in the corner and started your makeup routine. She couldn't believe you were real. You two grew up together and not once did she believe that you'd be this gorgeous. It was literally like watching an angel. 

You had caught her eye through the mirror, and you blushed profusely, suddenly aware that she had been watching you this whole time and you just now noticed how insane you looked with unblended concealer and contour. "Stop looking at me like that." You proclaimed, cheeks blushing and lips curled into one of the biggest smiles. 

"Like what?" Caitlin whispered, her hands folded in her lap. God, she couldn't help but smile whenever she seemed to be looking at you. 

"Like you want to kiss me so bad." You blended out your concealer and contour, now putting blush on. Hoping it'll conceal the blush already present. 

"Well, I want to." She said matter of factly. Which made you both blush even more than you two already had been. You two were blushing mess in each other's presence it was insane. 

"Oh my gosh, can you let me get ready without you trying to seduce me, at least once?" You both laughed while you tried to hurry up and get ready before Caitlin's eyes literally made you explode. She went to blow dry and straighten her hair before finding her resting place on the bed, watching you. "Okay! I'm done, my love." You said, sliding on your sandals before grabbing your purse that Caitlin was already holding out for you. 

Mumbling a thank you, Caitlin grabbed her matching blazer to her shorts and followed you out of the room and to the car. She stole the kiss she was waiting for before opening the door for you to get in.

[eziojensenthe3rd]

So this pretty damn official. Thursday is gonna see committee markup of bills including kosa.

Make as much noise as you can.

[lukedifferent]

It's wonderful to be someone's weakness - Luke -