#{ crack post }

[rey-jake-therapist]

Awful marriage proposals, the hall of Shame

Darcy, first proposal to Elizabeth :

Insults her family, implies he's stupid to propose her, and basically says she's lucky he loves her despite the "inferiority of her birth". Lovely, I wonder why it didn't work...

2. Kylo Ren, proposal to Rey

Nothing says "true love" more than a man who starts his love confession by telling the girl he likes she's not worth shit "except for him" because her parents were losers who sold her for drinking money, right? Rey was totally crying of happiness. Sure.

3. Sauron, proposal to Galadriel

"Darling, if you don't marry me, your people will all die, darkness will cover the world and I'll tell everyone it was your fault"

Guys I'm not sure, but I think we've got a winner !

What a bunch of losers...

[miserykyoko]

Huhhhskksjsh made another one because apparently the last became my most liked?

Anyways, sorry guys casey was a little freaky in this one..😭

[squilfmybeloved]

during the battle in germany, at the airport, peter runs into captain america. oh my god, it's captain america is all that's going through his head right now.

and then peter starts thinking about the psa videos.

while they're fighting, all he can think about are those god damn psa videos. peter knows he's getting distracted- maybe that's why he suddenly finds himself holding up a landing ramp, and captain america is about to throw a crate at him, and tony is about to tackle cap, and-

and all that comes out of peter's stupid mouth is, "so. you've got detention."

everything just. stops. steve freezes and unceremoniously drops the crate, the thud the only source of noise. his face looks like a cherry tomato. tony says, "what the fuck, roos? where did that, out of all things, come from?"

peter, traitor that he is, points at steve and hoarsely whispers, "his school psas."

nat's wheezing laughs are all that is heard over the comms.

next thing peter knows, the shield is coming at him, he's pathetically flying through the air, hitting the ground, and out like a light.

when the rogues come back to the compound, peter and steve can't look at eachother for a week.

[colorfulmess14]

Must....commit....to the bit.

(I draw Dareth in the comics in a joking manner, but this is how most of the pictures actually look.)

[justpendule]

I've been thinking about Sukuna and Gojo's love kid for a few days now, and I came to a conclusion: Sakata Gintoki.

Hear me out:

He has red eyes like Sukuna, and is a total sadist.

He has a white-ish perm like Gojo, and he's a sugar freak just like him.

Gintoki is Gojo and Sukuna's love child.

It's even more hilarious when you think about how these two are obsessed with power and the status of being the strongest, when Gintoki canonically doesn't give a fuck about power and refuses to make an effort for anything in relationship with training.

There is this idea of boredom, too, that links the three of them. Though it does not stem from the same reasons, they're constantly bored. Sukuna due to lack of proper adversaries, Gojo due to loneliness, and Gintoki due a lack of purpose in his life. They're so similiar.

[since64bce]

Trumper HC: AOT CHARACTERS AS TRUMP SUPPORTERS

I'm not in Amurica or nothin so idek the guy. All I'm sayin is I think he's a funny man so lets go baby yeehaw

CHARACTERS??: CONNIE AND SASHA, MIKASA, ERWIN, REINER, BERTHOLDT, HISTORIA, PIXIS, FLOCH Warnings: Racism, Sexism, ageism, STEREOTYPING, homophobia, transphobia, swearing, soft porn, guns, terrorism, mentions of violence and molesting. (istg im nitpicking here) A/N: pls don't report me.

CONNIE + SASHA 🥹💃🕺 (Cowboy conspirators)

-I have to group them together Im sorry

-"We juhst tew keids werkin togeyther on ower dayddies raynch in teyxas"🤓🤠

-Sashas fam are a few hardened Trump veterans (it's in the braus bloodline) can you imagine her father NOT being a republican smth

-Connies fam is the same.

-Both of their dads are those weird uncles u only see @ thanksgiving once a year. NOT WEIRD IN A PEDO WAY. They the ones who talk abt the flouride makin the rats n frogs gay an whatnot. its a whole thing.

-BAsically con man🧍‍♂️ and sack nut🧍‍♀️ spend their days chewing on straw and standing outside abortion clinics. 👫

-They're probably like 12 or somthing idk

-But yes they really like trump. Hail trump✋. Worship trump🙏. Trump trump trump. Donald J trump💋. Love trump🫶. want trump👀. lick trump🫵. kiss trump🫵. Trump 4 life💪. Trump all day baby🫦. Trump👨🏽‍🦲.

-Honestly they wanna see trump more than trump wanna see them.

-Actually trump don't want to see them.

-He'd get molested, turn around and there'd be two skanky ass lookin children standing behind him how horrific.💀💀💀

-These children aren't normal

-God bless murica ✊✊ yeehaw

Mikasa es tu casa (Chilled out chad)

-Mikasa is one of them chill ones that just mind their own buisness

-Unproblematic chad😌

-She sets an example for the rest of society and shes ripped so lets all take a leaf out of mikasas book shall we

-This aint aot fr this is america 🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸 so she lived happily ever after with her mama and papa ok. no weird human traffickers or nothing🖕🖕. Her parents would've been quite traditional and conservative

-I think she'd believe in the nuclear family and gender roles and what not but her beliefs would be very mild

-You can't get her fuckin forearms from making sandwiches all day babes ❤️‍���💪

-but yeah shes a sweetheart ilhsm💋

-And lets just say her being a trumpee is like Gods way of containing this woman

-she wouldn't have missed fr🔫

-And God forbid if she did miss cuz otherwise she'd have gone up there and done it with her bare hands baby

-casual Trump enjoyer

Erwin👱‍♂️ (Facebook warrior)

-He's one a them grandaddy Trumps💪👴. There from the very beginning.❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

-You really think old people are bad at using technology?? WRONG.

-Levi helped him set up a facebook account 💋

-And It's the only fuckin thing he knows how to use on his computer. And he plays around on with his face this🤏 close to the screen, like gurl u don't need to do that 🧍‍♂️💀💀

-just use ur monacle or whatever🤷‍♀️

-But yeah whenever he comes upon gay 🌈🌈people posts on facebook my man has a heart attack. He clutches his chest falls outta his chair as he tries to get his breathing in control. 🤯😵

-Erwin will come across a post of two girls kissing an fickin collapse istg

-And then he'll get his talons out and start producing some juicy ass hate comments👹. He can't control himself, he's like a wild beast🥴😮‍💨, its like his arthiritis stricken claws have a gravitational pull towards that keyboard

-And he doesn't understand the whole algorithm thing either

There he squats with all these gay daddies on his facebook, hate spamming ALL of them AND HE STILL DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHY FACEBOOK KEEPS SHOWING HIM THESE POSTS🤬🤬😡🫣🤷‍♀️

-He suffering multiple heart attacks a day people get this man off facebook🙌

-And then Levi will come over and see that Erwin has been writing hate comments under pictures of mens bulges on his computer🧍‍♂️

-Who gave this guy the tech knowledge to b able to cyber bully but not to close his damn tabs sheesh

-He's also become a top poster on one of the Trump groups that he follows ✊✊

-Also he uses the N word a lot 🧍‍♂️

Mr big tits (Bible, BBQ and an AK47)

-Oh my dear lovely big breasted Reiner Braun🍒🍒

-tells everyone abt how his papi went to 'nam and died when in reality his papi waz just a bich and left early🤫

-Not enough valour for him ig

-Even tho homeboy aint in the army 🫡 anymore he still stocks up more ammo than his local police department. 🫶🫰

-Hes just a🔅 cutesy little😻 hoarder with a cuetsy little collection of firearms too. 🤤🥰💖🩷🩵💙

-he will also wear cammo vests to the supermarket just to buy himself some spinach. He's a cammo boy. It's all he wears. 😮‍💨

-Aside from his gun collection and cammo obession, Reiner also loves a bit of BBQ here and there.

-believes the Founding Fathers’ original intent included God, guns, and smoked brisket.💪💪🦅🦅

-And country music of course.

-He's just a casual guy nothing too extreme😎🤠

-He owns a pair of american flag speedos tho, is confused as to why people need so many pronouns and passively aggressively competes in lawn care comps with his neighbor

-Somebody make this guy a father pls🥵😳🫃

Bechtolsheim :))))🦒🦒(Wall enthusiast)

-Oh my berty boy whom i love love love😤💕

-Let us b true with ourselves guys mr daddy long legs🕷️here has all our hearts and souls encaptured in his nice ol sweaty palms. I can tell ya now he's a man of the lord. He's down on those knees for j-dawg night'n day bro 🙏. He daps up the homeboy holy spirit on his way to bible study wit Reiner. ✝️✝️🫰

-Boy sure knows how to resist those temptations. Satan who? Sorry, B-dawg doesn't know him

-Everyone just thinks he's a nice guy 🧍🏽... which he is obv 🙄

-(In the daytime🌞, he's bertholdt, just a normal gurl💅🫦, living a normal life😸😝... but theres ✨something✨👁️👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨 about him🧌🥸😱 that, no one ⁉️knows yet⁉️.... 🤨🧐cause he has secrets🤭🥵🥵👹👹👹......)

-he used to b part of a terrorist group.

-☠️

-BUT HES IS(IS) A NICE GUY HE WAS JUS A LIL BIT CONFUSED BACK THEN an thats okay baby everyone gets a bit confused sometimes.

-AND this was before he met God mkay.

-But yeah, now bertholdt has a burning descrimination against muslims.

-Its the trauma man.

-His stereotyping and racism is like a festering cancer, he fights it everyday like a champ 💃💃✊

-And what does this have to do with being a trumpee you might ask?🧐

-Immigration.

-He wants em' all deported

-SOMETIMES Berts inner darkness wins out. He wants to forget his past, he wants to throw it right outta his window!... and out of his country....🦅🦅🇺🇸🤠🍟🍔

-This boy has seen some stuff🙇🏻🥺. And he's slowly getting better with his muslophobia. He tries. The lawd is his chemo, slowly trying to vanquish this dark dark part of himself 👿🦹, bit by bit.

-Never underestimate the power of the lord. Amen.😗

(All u christians go hard tho fr, mad respect. And all u muslims out there we buddies, go snatch that Quran and be a boss kachow)

Historian Reiss (Progress? Don't you mean bull-kaka?)

-SOMEBODY CALL THE TRAD WIFES UP IN HERE👰‍♂️👰‍♂️👰‍♂️👰‍♀️👰‍♀️👰‍♀️👰‍♀️👰‍♀️

-Girly says that the 1950s were PEAK even tho the closest thing to diversity back then was whether or not u liked jazz 🎶🎶😎

-Oh yeah she sure misses them polio days 🤤😻

-But in all seriousness she probs wears those big pantaloon undies😱🥶 like gurl u aint going parachuting thru the clouds just wear normal ones

-She's always googling how to make her child rearing hips bigger🤰🤰

-Not a single pair of pants in HER wardrobe. Not that she'd be able to wear them with her double storage solution underpants. Dresses and skirts ONLY.

-Also they must all be FLOOR length to hide those temptatious ankles🥵🥵😩

-Our modest queen🫡

-She aint trust no supermarket ultra processed shit food either she gets her eggs straight from her own chickens ass🦆 and she grows her own veggies n stuff. Good for her 🤙💪💪

-Although she did once collapse ffrom an iron deficiency cuz she couldn't find her own meat source poor girl

-she hit her head and was unconious for lik 3 days

-Her neighbors saw her undies before they saw her🪂🪂🪂

PIXIS (Mommy, can we put grandpa back into the retirement home now?)

-Bros worse than the braus and springer daddies👹👹👹👹

-He could not only write an entire 500-chapter-50k-words-per-chapter-ten-part book series abt gay frogs🫦, fake moon landings🙀, reptilian politicians🐸, 5G towers, Big pharma, chem trails🥵😷 ect ect ect but he could fact check the entire thing with blurry memes off facebook sent to him by his cousin randy

-He's a fuckin conspricay chad, unstoppable, admirable, irrestistable, alcoholic, crazy, cute🥺, chic, chadilicious bald man👨🏽‍🦲👨🏽‍🦲

-His children shipped him off to a home as soon as he turned 60 and his knee vaguely started hurting

-Hes too powerful

-Pixis does gets invited to special occasions tho cuz his family feel slightly bad

-He be an anti-science, pro magic, potter grade, wizard baby🧙‍♂️. Of course the government control the weather, of course climate change isn't real. 🤷‍♀️

-And he tell everryyyboodddyyy @ the dinner table baby👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

-There are actually 8 wonders of this world. His offspring. How the. frick did they turn out so normal?🤨

-Anyways he managed to manipulate his son in law once and accidently caused a divorce

-Now he only gets invited to christmas

-And somehow he sneaks flasks of whatever into his nursing home illegally seals them out to all his nursing home pals.

-He's got an army of at least 15 of them that he's planning a coup with.🥳😏

-He also owns a MAGAs hat and suffers from mild heartburn because he only eats steak

Floch (LIBERATE THE MEN, WOMEN ARE THOTS)

-Another country boy but hes a skinny country boy who doesn't own a diesel guzzling man truck or get high blood pressure from eating steak 24/7.

-He lives wit his mama and eats the pasta salad she makes him for sunday lunch. 🧑‍🌾

-But yes he's still a freaky lil fanatic👹🧑‍🌾

-Imagine he lives in a world without pimp-dawg Eren Tate-ger. Whose Floch supposed to follow??? huh??? Donald thats who. Donald trump💪🦵.

-And andrew tate of course👨🏽‍🦲

-He's one of them red pillers who can sniff out a womans virginity from a mile away

-"Wats ur body count???"

-and hes very patriotic too:

-TRUMP IS JESUS 2.0, MY MAN THONG HAS AN EAGLE ON IT,CKAWW CAWW CAWWWW SAY YOU CAN SEE BY THE DAWN EARLY LIGHT WHAT SO PROUDLY WE HAILED AND THE TWILIGHTS LAST GLEAMING🦅🦅🏈🏈🇺🇸🇺🇸???!!!!???? DADDY TRUMPS TAN IS NOT FAKE GUYS WTFFF😡😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬🖕🖕🖕

-He's like a freaky little jehovah's witness guys

-he's so alpha dont you think?🐺🐺🐺

A/N: Sorry I think i fell off a bit at the end but I couldn't b bothered. Also yes ik the bertoldth one was a little wild but dont report me babes thank u very much. later losers.

[sweeneydino]

Only villains like punch chowder.

Reference photos ofc

If you’re curious and haven’t seen it, its Red flags by Tom Cardy, and the Artist is Gabriella Antali! Check out their work :3

The other is Invincible lol

[kens-ramblings]

i personally like to think instead of Tim putting on a siren or something when he gave warning for the whole blowing up LOA buildings and stuff he played Blow by Kesha and figured they’d get the hint (it worked surprisingly well). I just think it’s funnier if we let tim be extra cunty even when he’s literally having the worst time in his life :D

i also think it’d be hilarious if like a couple years down the road the batfam still has like no clue what tim did while he was on his bruce hunt. like whenever they ask he just gets a haunted look and says “you don’t wanna know” and calls it a day. but somehow(maybe ra’s sent it to them for some power play type thing???) they get footage of this specific instance. and all of them are looking at tim in varying amounts of horror(except jason, because i also like to think he’s the only one who sees through tim’s normal human mask and sees him as unhinged as he is) and tim has to be like “well shucks guys i needed a little bit of humor in my life at the time idk what to tell you”

[niko-sasaki-dbd]

Dead Boy Detectives Agency + Random Posts

[click for better resolution]

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[faramirsonofgondor]

I need a movie where Misha Collins plays a gay angel that falls in love with a bisexual cowboy played by Jensen Ackles. Their names are Cassius and Daniel, Cas and Dan. Jared Padalecki plays Daniel’s younger brother, Samson. It’s a blatant ripoff of SPN. The quality is extremely shitty and the budget was $40. Misha is wearing a pair of shitty $12 angel wings from Amazon and a cardboard halo. Jensen has a water gun instead of a real one. For some reason Samson is a mime, dressed in full mime ensemble, and breaks the fourth wall via miming his frustration about how Daniel and Cassius won’t get together. It has a laugh track and uses those “oohs” and “ahhs” and gasps that were in those early 2000s disney channel shows. Whenever Daniel shoots his gun you just hear Jensen making “pew pew pew pew” noises as red water squirts out.

[gleafer]

I played with some Twitter friends! Enjoy!

I draw what you ask, but not what you’re expecting!

[k-n0-x]

Pov: The Hazbin residents playing Uno

Y/N: "Skip!" *Places down skip next person card*

Lucifer: "I swear, the next time you skip me, I am going to FUCK YOU"

Charlie, quite embarrased: "Again, it's 'fuck you up’, Dad"

Lucifer: "I know what I said"

Everyone else at the table:

[zorosleftmantit101]

One piece men reacting to you telling them.

"-You make my heart feel warm"

Characters: Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, kid, killer, buggy, crocodile, corazon, shanks, ace, sabo, mihawk, smoker, Katakuri

A/N: Thought I should probably throw in some fluff a lil bit of crack.

I made Sabo a lil french man ❤️

C/W: fluff, Swearing, mentions of heart attacks, mentions of telling ppm to kts.

Luffy:

"Are you having a heart attack?"

Zoro:

"me?" Staring at you with disbelief.

"No Zoro the fucking wall... yes you!"

Growls and pouts at you being an ass but will pull you into his lap.

"You make my heart feel warm too~"

"What was that Zoro?"

"NOTHING I UHH TOLD YOU TO KILL YOURSELF!"

Sanji:

What are you gonna say at my funeral now that you've killed me.

"A loving partner and a strong fighter, Sanji will br forever missed"

Sanji

2004- 2023

Death by nose bleed/s

Kid:

"Yeah well your a shit."

Your sad cause you was just tryna be a cutie

Dw I got you come to me *licks lips deviously*

As your walking away all sad Kid yanks your arm so your sitting on his lap.

"I guess you make my heart feel things too, but dont go letting that get to your head!"

Killer:

"Oh cool didn't know I could do that"

He's not dumb he's just being a dickhead on purpose to get a reaction out of you.

Buggy:

"I do? I- uhhh I mean OF COURSE I DO I AM THE GREAT MPPH-"

Shut this man up with a massive smooch or a fist to the face your choice.

Crocodile:

"Is that so darling~"

His calloused fingers motion for you to come forward.

Walking towards him as he sits at his desk he pulls your hand into his brining it to his lips.

"Your so cute doll, one day im going to put a ring on this finger make you mine- make your heart only warm for me~"

Mihawk:

"Ok"

Corazon:

Grabs your wrist kissing it while smiling before twirling you and dipping yoy in his embrace

"Mm you make me heart bloom like the flowers in a thousand springs my love~"

You where ready to ravish the man right there if he didn't trip sending the two of you crashing to the floor..

Ace:

"Say on god"

Sabo:

"You flatter me Mademoiselle, my heart warms at your affection as well"

Shanks:

"Thats kinda gay"

Smoker:

"Oh thats nice umm you make my heart feel... umm..."

*proceeds to walk away out of sheer embarrassment*

Katakuri:

"Are you /srs or /j"

[webshood]

Wayne's social media where all Tim does is be everyone's 1# hater (accidentally deleted it lol)

It always backfires with Bruce

[sorbetisfruity]

Yuu, getting ready to hang out with Malleus:

Yuu: Malleus! But you’re three hours early!!

Malleus: Haha! Oh..you know!

Malleus: I’m just obsessed with you.

[bontensruby]

No one:

Literally no one:

Bonten! Sanzu: DARLINGGGGG, GUESS WHO'S BACK FROM JAAAAILLLLL!?!?!?!?