Damian was placed in the Pits to prove he could survive as an infant.
Only...the pits didn't give him back.
Danny was taking a trip to a weird, rank area of the Infinite Realms per Clockworks request, when a fuckin baby plopped in through a portal.
A baby.
Naturally, Danny snatched the kid up and flew as fast as he could back home.
He turns back to his human form just as the basement door slams open.
Danny stares up at his mom and dad.
They stare down at him.
"I found a baby in the portal," is the only thing Danny can make his mouth say.
His parents are thrilled to welcome another kid into the family, no matter how grumpy the little tyke seems.
In Nanda Parbat, Talia cannot find her son. He isn't in the pit; he just. Disappeared into it.
So he went somewhere.
She promises her father she will find Damian, but Ra's has another idea.
He calls Bruce Wayne to Nanda Parbat, with a simple letter.
"We have lost the child you had with Talia. My condolences."
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he will use every chance he gets to be a drama queen and if he doesnt have one he will create one
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i love graffiti. "comics and jazz are the only american art forms" you forgot graffiti. did you remember graffiti? That art form birthed in Philly and NYC in the early 70s by poor Black kids. that art form that spread all over the world and influenced so many. that's used without irony in commercials when they're trying to appeal to a "young urban" customer.
did you forget graffiti? that racism broken windows theory victim? that reach the establishment takes claiming that it's exclusively violent gang members throwing up those full-color pieces and wildstyle tags in the middle of the night outsmarting fifty security cameras because the billboard was ugly anyway. as if, even if it was, it wouldn't be impressive as all hell. risking brutality and fall damage so your art can occupy the space a gentrified condo named something like "Coluumna" took away from you. proving that despite only assholes affording to live here anymore there's still a soul beneath it. an animal with dripping stripes and teeth that go clack-clack tsssss
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its baffling seeing people on here being all shocked about how other ppl didnt have sex or do drugs or drink or go to parties etc etc in high schools like. sorry i was too busy getting bullied to do all of that stuff i guess. why are you surprised that there’s losers on the cringe loser website
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good news, ive discovered that the maximum dick size in skyrim as per racemenu sliders is somewhere around the distance between riften and solitude, plus a few more hundred or so miles. give or take a little bit for going well beyond the draw distance
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League members discussing meeting Robin at work:
"Compared to Bats, Robin was a total sweetheart. Ball of sunshine."
"Man, must've been a good day then, the kid I met was a real anklebiter. He pulled out a sword and everything."
"Anklebiter is harsh, the sweet boy I met barely said a word, he just kept asking about Themyscira and the lasso."
"He? I met a blonde girl."
"No, no, black haired boy with blue eyes. We're talking about Robin."
"Yeah same here, blue eyed and tanned."
"Pretty sure he had green eyes. And talked fancy. And kind of scolded me for time travelling."
"The child I met was paler than the moon."
"I'm telling you I met a girl, and she was Robin."
"Well... either we're all wrong or we're all right."
So they arrive at the conclusion that Bats has a shape-shifter for a kid.
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I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them
People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human
“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”
“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”
“Yeah!!”
“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”
“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“
“How illogical”
“That’s what I’m saying!!!”
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“The Batkids probably gave Dick so much shit when he first put on the Batsuit.” No. The Batkids all saw Dick in Bruce’s suit and all secretly felt nauseous about how wrong it looked. How wrong it felt.
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worst relationship status to have w someone is “objectively they’re a fine person who is nice but i don’t enjoy their company as much as they enjoy mine”
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"[blank] is the best robin" please be serious
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inspired by this post, in which Damian does not know what Vine is
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Vic and Dick. 2022
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average patrol w hood and wing
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Prompt:
Instead of Dick or Tim, Red Hood straight up goes for kidnapping Bruce Wayne and keeping him hostage just to see how desperate the birds get in trying to find him.
It’s a foolproof plan. Batman won’t blow his cover unless absolutely necessary, and “Brucie” would never know how to slip away from a crime lord of Red Hood’s caliber. It’s foolproof. It’s perfect. Jason can keep dropping hints and make threats towards the birds and watch Bruce squirm without consequences if he plays this right.
But then “Brucie” keeps begging him not to hurt his kids…
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