#drugs quote

[incorrectbatfam]

Bruce: Why do you smell like weed?

Jason: How do you know what weed smells like?

Bruce: I—

Jason: Aha, busted! You're grounded for a week!

[crystallizsch]

azul my detested

[incorrectcultofthelambquotes]

[incorrect911argoship]

*During a 24 hour shift at the station*

Eddie: I give up. I am too tired. I can't go on.

Hen: Chim, get the emergency supply!

Chim: *brings Buck and places him in front of Eddie*

Buck: *confused but smiling* Hi?

Eddie: Ok, this is working

Chim: Buck, could you flex now.

Buck: *still confused but flexing*

Eddie, staring at Buck's arms: AND I AM BACK BABY, LET’S GO!

[marksandrec]

Marks and Rec: Misc #2614

Happy Halloween! Remember to drink your drug-blood responsibly. (Dialogue from What We Do in the Shadows, mostly.)

[st7arlight]

2/4

[strangegutz]

pickles (plural)

[incorrect-tmnt2012-quotes]

Leo: If you’re not gonna tell dad, I will.

Leo, to Splinter: Dad, Raph smokes pot.

Splinter: What?!

Raph, to Leo: YOU ARE SUCH A TATTLETALE!!

Raph, to Splinter: Dad, remember that time you walked into my room and smelled marijuana?

Splinter, glaring at Casey: Yes.

Raph: Well, I told you it was Casey who was smoking the pot, but it was me. I’m sorry.

Splinter: It was you?

Leo: And remember when you got mad at Chompy? He didn’t break your favorite tea pot. Mikey did.

Mikey: Yeah, well, The Kraang weren’t the ones who blew up the toaster! Leo did!

Leo: Donnie hasn’t been keeping up on his training for a year!

Donnie: Raph has an alien girlfriend!

Raph: Mikey got himself in a dangerous situation and almost got killed AGAIN!!

Karai: I bisexual and Shini and I are dating!

April: Red is not my natural hair color!

Casey: I WANNA GOOOO!!

Splinter: That’s a lot of information to get in 30 seconds…

[teencopandthesourwolf]

Stiles: So you're just like——out here raw dogging life, huh Der-bear?

Derek: Dog jokes? Really, Stiles?

Stiles: Oh my God, I didn't even mean to——hang on, you mean I don't actually need to take quadruple doses of ADHD meds to be funny? BECAUSE I ONLY HAD A DOUBLE DOSE TODAY AND OMG I'M HILARIOUS! Hashtag winning! Hashtag I was just born this way! Hashtag The Stilinski Life! Hashtag How many times can a puny human pump their fist into the air without passing out?!

Stiles: *wobbles on the spot*

Derek: *steadies Stiles with a hand on the puny human's shoulder*

Stiles: Uh... Hashtag what were we talking about??

Boyd: You want me to threaten the pharmacist again, Derek?

Derek: *Le sigh* Please.

[ao3-crack]

(x)

[incorrectbatfam]

[before Ace got adopted]

Krypto: Hi there! So nice to meet you. I'm just going den to den seeing if any wolves would like to become dogs today.

Ace: What's a dog?

Krypto: Amazing question! You're such a good boy. Dogs are a pet for humans. You get paired up with one and they take care of you. They feed you, take you on walks, and when you get scared you can hide between their legs.

Ace: Wait, hold on. They feed me? You guys don't catch your own food?

Krypto: No, we eat dog food. And sometimes, if you're lucky, you get a treat.

Ace: What's a treat like?

Krypto: Have you ever done crack cocaine?

Ace: No.

Krypto: Well, that would be the closest example.

Ace: Okay, so I just get paired up immediately then?

Krypto: Well, not exactly. You will have to spend some time in a shelter, but if you're lucky, a human will pick you and take you home with them.

Ace: What happens if you aren't lucky?

Krypto: Oh, don't worry about it. You're going to a non-kill shelter.

Ace: What?

Krypto: Nothing! So, what do you say?

Ace: Yeah I'm not interested, sorry.

Krypto: WAIT!

Ace: What?

Krypto: Belly rubs.

Ace: Belly rubs?

Krypto: Every single day.

Ace: Okay, yeah, I'll consider it.

[lovehours]

i don’t even fucking care

[padawansuggest]

Obi-Wan: *flirty* Oh, what I wouldn’t do to have a handsome young man in my bed tonight-

Cody: *tired, took some of Fox’s special caff mix and is cranky for some reason now* I’m not that good looking.

Obi-Wan: That’s okay, I know a cocktail that’ll have me seeing blurs. Seriously though it makes me walk into walls.

Cody: …fuck it, okay, we’re just sleeping. None of that naked time Skywalker is always getting up to. Freak.

Obi-Wan: Huh. I like the usual 17 caff you, that one likes to bully me. This you is just, sorta, idk, cranky.

Cody: idfk what Fox puts in his special caff blend it’s like I can’t unclench my jaw I am ALWAYS ready to bite someone.

Obi-Wan: Hmmmm… I’ll tell Quinlan to drug tests it. He always has drug tests on hand so he knows what he’s taking.

[marksandrec]

Welp.

Anyway happy weed number day to those who celebrate

[dragonflavoredcake]

Grian: Be friends with Scar, they said! He'll be a great teammate, they said! Mumbo: So he's a little reckless— Grian: THIS MAN HAS THE SURVIVAL INSTINCTS OF A SQUIRREL ON CRACK COCAINE!

[herokitty1312]

pink xans💗