Slang Education Day
Imagining Alastor and his Great Depression ass trying to comprehend internet terms is hilarious to me.
{Part 1} {Part 2} {Part 3}
I used the LITERAL list that Amir Talai posted on his Insta of ACTUAL terms he had to Google bc of the HH fandom 😂😭. (but same bc I also didn’t know what half these terms meant 🫠)
That man is so unhinged he truly is Alastor irl
12K notes
·
View notes
Dick: so if it’s you or the laptop-
Tim: me. 100%.
Dick: …your not even gonna pretend to think?
Tim: about what? I can always just rise from the dead but my laptop-
Dick: what?
Tim: what?
Dick: what made u think you can rise from the dead?
Tim: well Jason did it so it’s obviously not difficult
——
Jason, in his safe house reading a book: I feel a chill or disrespectful in the air.
——
Dick: alr can you at least lie abt it
Tim: ughhhh
Dick: for me *flutters eyelashes*
Tim: Fine. *says in monotone voice* If it were either me or my laptop to be destroyed I would choose … the laptop.
Dick: thank you Timmy
Damian, walking past: Richard even you know that’s an outright lie.
5K notes
·
View notes
Gothamite 1: Mr. Wayne looks more tired than usual.
Gothamite 2: Must be women problems.
Gothamite 3: I heard Wayne Enterprises is going bankrupt.
Gothamite 4: He must be really sick cus he has that Timothy boy doing the work for him. Although, that kid has been gone for quite some time now.
Gothamite 5: I heard he's gay and working at a club at night.
meanwhile, Bruce is just trying to balance life as Batman and as a father while dealing with his de-aged kids.
he knew he shouldn't have brought them with him on the mission.
Young Dick, tugging a toy: I'm going to kick you in the butt if you don't give me that stuffed toy back!
Young Tim, balancing an energy drink with one hand while pulling the toy from Dick on the other: You're so selfish, Dick! It's my turn!
Young Jason: *reading a book outloud by the corner just to annoy everyone else*
Young Cass: *on the floor, trying to balance her waffles on the table, with syrup all over the area*
the whole place is littered with fruit loops and cookies, milk splattered on the floor, the curtains are torn, dirty footprints are on the couches, a cape from one of their Robin suits is hanging on the chandelier, and the flat screen is damaged.
Steph: Ooof, it's bad, B.
Damian: Tt. Is Zatara even in this planet right now, Father?
Bruce, pinches the bridge of his nose: I think she's off world right now.
Duke: I'm more worried when Alf comes back from vacation and he sees this whole mess.
Bruce: I--
then they all hurriedly move to the children when they start to tackle themselves on the floor.
3K notes
·
View notes
Reporter: Tell us Bruce, why have you recently decided to work out more? Do you just want to compete with our Clark? Or is it-
Bruce: My kids.
Reporter: I’m sorry what?
Bruce: I work out so I can still lift them.
Reporter: …
Bruce: if you have nothing else to ask I’m going to leave now. Let’s go Jaylad.
Bruce just picks up Jason and leaves.
Jason looks like a large dog that clearly isn’t used to being in the air.
Like this.
25K notes
·
View notes
frank: hey guys, what’s up?
annabeth: hi frank
frank: uh, why is percy looking at you like you betrayed him or something
percy, staring at annabeth with an open jaw and hurt in his eyes:
annabeth: oh he’s been like that for 10 minutes. i explained to him that there's no way to know if we’re actually seeing the same colors. for example, what I see as "red" might look like "blue" to him, but since we’ve both been taught to call that color "red," we assume we're seeing the same thing. when in reality, the colors we see could be totally different, but we’d never know because we use the same names for them.
frank, looking distressed: that… that’s an awful thing to say to someone
2K notes
·
View notes
Slang Education Day
“I’m not understanding, dear. Does that mean she ate her husband ?”
At this point these are just too stupid entertaining to stop…. lmao. Leave me suggestions of what else Deer Man needs to learn 😂
{Part 1} {Part 2} {Part 3} {Part 4}
8K notes
·
View notes
Dick*the eldest daughter reaching a breaking point and it was this or manslaughter*: Due to my emotional trauma, I have decided I will be reverting back to my childhood Goblin lifestyle
Jason*always one for chaos*: Good for you
Bruce*traumatized from the first time not sure if he can survive a pt.2*: oh no
Tim*never left his Menace Lifestyle and is very exited to help cause more problems*: yay!
Bruce*even more scared*: oh no
6K notes
·
View notes
Gala Woman: your manners are rather good for someone from the... lower class
(Dick Grayson shovels breadrolls into his mouth in the background and Bruce Wayne trips and falls down a flight of stairs to have a getaway for Batman Stuff™)
young Jason Todd, incredulously: ..if theres a rumor being spread about behavior in this family i know damn well its not gonna be me.
3K notes
·
View notes
Oda: if I had a nickel for every time I had to carry an injured teen with gunshot wounds wearing a long black coat and threatening to kill me, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.
4K notes
·
View notes