#battinson au

[fluffy-anna]

Things i would say if I were friends with Battinson.

No lube, no protection, No proof reading, opened the pencil icon and wrote, don't judge

Basically a fanfic of you (or rather us) being chaotic besties with Battinson.

You; hey you haven't been replying to my texts everything okay?

*Battinson on his 8th (16 hour) Nirvana playlist and not understanding the riddles, as well as hunch backed on the floor with scattered papers and his shirt nowhere to be found*; THE VOICES

You; Alfred YOUR SON HAS RABIES WHAT THE FUCK

*battinson shows up randomly to your doorstep, mascara dripping down his face and a very poor attempt to hide his super hero identity*

Bruce; can I borrow your waterproof mascara

*you, knowing this could range from him listening to songs, to him cosplaying or him actually being the flying rodent*

You; sure...

*bruce who takes too much mascara*

You; fucking bitch-

You, over radio: Testing. Testing. Bruce , can you hear me?

Bruce , standing next to You: I’m standing right here.

You: You’re coming through good and loud.

Bruce : ‘Cause I’m standing right here.

Bruce : You tricked me!

You: I deceived you. ‘Trick’ makes it sound like we have a friendly relationship.

*bruce gets the wrong order and doesn't want to bother the servers*

*you and equal mess but strong for him*

*both talking in tiny*

You;he asked for no pickles

*both nearly dying*

Bruce : I actually have a black belt.

You: In what, karate?

Bruce : No, from Gucci.

You : Can you keep a secret?

Bruce: Do you know anything about my life?

You : you literally tell half of it on accident, and the other half isn't that hard to guess. answer the fucking question bitc-

Bruce : Do you take constructive criticism?

You: I only take cash or credit.

Bruce : You saved me. I owe you my life.

You: No thanks. I’ve seen it and I’m not very impressed

*A paparazzi called bruce rude things, and started harassing the socially awkward lanky boy.*

Bruce : Violence isn't the answer.

You: You’re right.

Bruce : *sighs in relief*

You: Violence is the question.

Bruce : What?

You, bolting away: And the answer is yes.

Bruce , running after them: NO-

*you who's chasing the reporter with a plastic knife and a scream that could kill black Canary*

I don't know this is all I can think of randomly, please reblog more ideas would love to write a shitpost fix with Battinson x civilian bestie reader!

[tiffycat]

Walk with me (proceeds to be delusional)

I rewatched MAWS and The Batman right after the other and instantly got brainworms

It makes no sense but I am master of my own universe and can draw whatever inane thought I have so this exists now

p2

[emo-batboy]

A Wild Battinson (Social Media AU)

Part 45 (Masterlist)

(Part 46)

@bruciemilf it’s been months bestie but it’s tradition

If you follow me on my main, you know I haven’t actually been gone. I’ve just been on a few side quests. I’m also being fought over by two companies rn so that’s fun (and completely stressful, please I’m just a 22yo teenage girl) but we’re BACK for a limited time! Idk I’ve got like at least five parts in my drafts so let’s see what happens.

TOODLES

[sreppub]

Batman is so focused on losing his tiny shadow that he doesn’t realize there are actually three of them.

aka wanted to play with dynamic duo dynamics and i couldnt decide whether to give bats a kid, a preteen, or a dick hilariously close in age, but then, epiphany: all 3 at once. batdad speedrun

btw timmy got the other two interested in following batman around so they basically adopted batman, really

[puppetmaster13u]

Hear me out: Demon Batfam but Bruce gets them as babies because people won't stop trying to sacrifice their children and he is So Tired

And it is semi-early Batman Bruce too.

[starry-bi-sky]

i think i'm hilarious -- aka i made blood blossom danny au memes

all of these come from my DpxDC prompt "i am pushing the batdad agenda--" and it's corresponding additions in the reblogs ksdjlf.

i am. rotating them in my head. forever and always. personally i think there should be more batdad aus in dpxdc, their dynamic could be neat. :)

[vanillabean-97]

(Crack?) AU in which Battinson gets transported to another universe where he gets mistaken for another “kid” Bruce took in

[mylifeisfruk4ever]

Bruce: I like you Clark: you... You like me?? Bruce: Yes. Please don't make me say it again

[bruciemilf]

Local billionaire bullied by his kids

[moider-time]

AU where Bruce Wayne is a voice actor.

He always had an interest in acting and would've tried it but his anxiety always stopped him from getting into the game. Even trying out for the school play would get him stammering and unable to read his lines. To this day, he mourns the fact that he never got to play Benvolio.

He had given up on his dream years before he heard that there was going to be a reboot of his favourite childhood cartoon, The Gray Ghost (all of Gotham probably heard the scream he let out when he heard the news)

Sadly some of the original cast had passed away before the reboot so they couldn't reprise their roles, and this includes the original Gray Ghost. So you have Bruce hoping like any other fan that they get a good replacement. He talks about it so much that Alfred jokingly says "well Master Bruce if you're so worried about it, you should audition"

And Bruce laughs but he can't stop thinking about it. He twists and turns in bed because the idea of playing The Gray Ghost, of being to kids what the original voice actor was to him as a child, he can't say it's not appealing. He dwells on it for the next few days and while he doesn't know if his inability to perform will extend to voice acting, he wants to try.

On his way down to auditions, he is sweating. He has to have Alfred drop him cause his hands won't stop shaking. Seeing all the people in the waiting room almost makes him turn back around but Alfred talks him back into it.

(I'd like to think that everyone else there either didn't recognise him because he barely leaves the manor or they recognised him and realised that this man is chock full of anxiety so it's better to not bother him)

So he gets into the booth and once he's started reading his lines, he really gets into it. It's so much easier for him to get into character when there aren't dozens of eyes on him. He finishes, thanks them for the opportunity, goes back to the manor, grabs his stuffies and screams into his pillow.

It's weeks later when he gets a call saying that they want him as the new Gray Ghost. He absolutely does not cry into his biggest teddy bear, what are you talking about? He does hug the crap out of Alfred though. They have cookies to celebrate.

Before you know it, everyone is in love with the new voice of The Gray Ghost. Both new and old fans agree that Bruce was a great choice. I can see Bruce using a pseudonym though. Bruce Wayne is a name that has a lot of weight behind it, weight that he doesn't want to feel when he's voice acting. So he asks them to credit him as Bruce Pennyworth or smth. Alfred is sobbing.

He requests to record his lines at home because he isn't always up for leaving the manor and he doesn't want to slow down production. He'd totally have a professional ass set up cause when he's interested in something, he goes in.

Bruce Pennyworth gets offered more voice acting roles whether it's for cartoons, movies, anime dubs or ads. Harvey and Clark both wondering why the voice over in an ad for toothpaste is about to make them act up. Every single one of the batkids went through the "OH MY GOD, YOU'RE BRUCE PENNYWORTH?!?" phase.

( @bruciemilf come get your juice)

[sendryl]

One of the Batman’s first cases is rough.

His first case involving a child – a baby.

The newborn is in a dumpster, and Bruce almost doesn’t hear him crying.

Who would do this? Who could ever abandon their baby like this?

What.

What does he do now?

[vala-dreams]

I feel like Danny should be followed around by an entourage of ghost blobs and ghost animals. I feel like he should be a fucked up little boy surrounded by death, forever stuck between worlds, frozen in time as life leaves him behind and death rejects him. As a treat.

[emo-batboy]

A Wild SuperGuy? (Social Media AU)

Part 44 (Masterlist)

(Part 45)

Istg I made this entire chapter in two hours. It's like I was smacked upside the head with the opposite of writer's block. (Also shoutout to the two people in part 43's notes that immediately predicted what this update would be about.)

@bruciemilf how’s it hangin’

Drink water, enjoy the weather, and have a great day :D

[ky-landfill]

"Dunno know why you're so worried, Bruce. Power cuts happen all the time down in the Narrows."

[puppetmaster13u]

Cryptid Batfam Prompt- But in Memes

[starry-bi-sky]

more clone^2

snippet 21: Danny is Bruce Wayne's Clone and--

Star, with the rest of the A-List girls: alright ladies! it's time for our quarterly 'cutest boys' list! Now I'll get straight to the point, in our number one spot is--

All girls, in unison: Danny Fenton

Star, writing it down on a whiteboard: and for our number two spot--

---------- Snippet 22: clone meet clone

Ellie, dramatically: Danny!

Danny, equally dramatic: Ellie!

Ellie, pushing past him and looking around: where is he! i wanna see the little guy!

Damian, with a sword, brandishing it dangerously: *in arabic* don't come any closer, stay back!

Danny, wrapping an arm around Ellie's waist and pulling her back: woah, woah - he's still adjusting to everything

Danny, turning towards Damian with his google translate open: [please don't stab her. this is Ellie my clone.]

Damian, lowering his sword in disbelief: 'there's MORE of you?

-------------- Snippet 23: Ellie has the same epiphany as Danny

Ellie:...hey Danny

Danny, pouring over his arabic book: hm

Ellie: since I'm your clone, and you're a clone of Bruce Wayne, and Damian is a clone of Damian Wayne, does that technically mean I'm his mom - uh. dad-mom?

Danny:

Ellie:...its a fair question

Danny: .....*deep sigh* you're his cousin until further notice.

------------ Snippet 24: wait for me ii (hadestown, live vers.)

(i'm not sure of the context, but i've been thinking of Danny saying this to Damian during a serious moment for days. the snippet title is the song that the dialogue below is from)

Danny, fixing up Damian's wraith suit: the meanest dog you'll ever meet

Danny, zipping up damian's jacket: it ain't the hound dog in the street. he bares some teeth and tears some skin, but brother,

Danny, adjusting Damian's gloves, pausing to look him in the eye: that's the worst of him.

Danny, he holds a finger up to Damian's eyes and points it at him: the dog you really got to dread, is the one that howls inside your head

Danny, grabbing damian's mask and smoothing it over his eyes: it's him whose howling drives men mad, and a mind to its undoing

------------ Snippet 25: Danny is Bruce Wayne's clone-- (Battinson Vers*)

Ember, in the middle of a fight with Phantom + Wraith:

Ember, knocks off Phantom's mask for the first time: lets see what ugly mug you're really hiding under there, Phantom--

Phantom: *the wettest, most pathetic looking pretty boy on the planet*

Ember:

Phantom, dryly: what, did your mic die out or something? all that caterwauling finally make you lose your voice

Wraith, unsheathing his sword: *vibrating with baby brother rage bc he knows EXACTLy why Ember is silent*

----------- Snippet 26: Damian is finally starting to play nice :)

Dany: hey... guys.... whatcha doing

Damian, hanging out with Sam: Me and Manson are plotting ways to crush the Mayor's plan to cut budget funding for the city parks and cut down the native trees

Danny: oh, i see.... is this safe?

Sam: probably

Danny: hm.

------------- Snippet 27: digging up cold case

Danny: ....if Damian is out with Sam tonight with their plot against the mayor....

Danny, turning towards his desk: then that means I can work some more on Mrs. Witherbury's murder case that she asked me to solve without Dames guilt-tripping me into bed :)

Danny, settling down at his desk with a thermos full of coffee: i'm glad sam and damian are finally getting along

--------- Snippet 28: sparring

Damian, frowning: your reflexes are incredible but your combat is downright awful, brother. it's truly a miracle i didn't skewer you upon our first meeting

Danny, got his ass kicked by his 7yo brother: *groaning in pain* not everyone has super secret assassin training, Damian. And I don't really have time to actually practice anything.

Damian: Mrs. Fenton knows martial arts and her form is proficient enough, I'm sure she would be delighted to teach you if you asked. I will join since I need to keep my skills sharp and my training was unfinished when I arrived here.

-------- Snippet 29: daytime surprise

Phantom, fighting Skulker in broad daylight: *under his breath* at least Lancer's english test will get canceled for this...

Phantom, dodging a blast from Skulker: *in ASL, furious* don't you have anything better to do, you fuck!?

Skulker: foolish ghost child, speak! I know you're capable of it - speak before you lose the ability to

Phantom: *flips him off instead*

Wraith, sending back a ecto-blast with his sword: please pay attention, phantom

Phantom, doubletaking: *in a hissed whisper* what are you doing here!? it's a school day, you should be at school!

Wraith: Tt. If the boot fits.

------------ Snippet 30: guilt

Danny with his head on his desk, his elbows propped up as he massages his hands: hn

Damian, lurking to the side with a guilty look on his face:

Damian: can i....

Danny, silently holding his hand out to Damian: hrm

Damian, immediately taking it and doing the massages + finger exercises: ...im sorry

Danny: hm... I forgive you