#even though they are kinda already doing that with crowley

[unknown--author]

Crowley Slander Part II

Crowley: And because I am so gracious Where are you going, Prefect?

Yuu: I'm gonna go summon a demon. At least they'll be able to get me home in exchange for my soul.

[bunni-v1]

Heyyaaa

May I request dorm leaders finding out you’re a girl please? If it’s too much u can make a part 2

Dorm Leaders Find Out You're a Girl?!?!?! (NOT CLICKBAIT!!!)

TW: Mentions of transphobia (nothing awful, just literally dropping the word lol); Idia is creepy

Info: Riddle, Leona, Azul, Kalim, Vil, Idia, Malleus x Reader (Platonic or Romantic); Fluff, Comedy(?)

🍓This one is gonna be long, like 5.3k words long. I love writing the dorm leaders so damn much <3 Besides, there’s been a long wait for this one, so I hope I make it worth it! You might see some favoritism shine through, but I did my best to keep it even. Hope you all enjoy!

Tags: @kierancaz @danchann33 @arashrita @the-ace-reader @akiyamasmizuki @kitsun369 @bloomstruck (I think I got all of you)

First Years

Ortho Sebek

Second Years

Third Years

-Okay so, I know we’re all wondering, how the hell do you get away with hiding your gender for so damn long?

-Firstly, those ceremonial robes do great at hiding the figure. The only tell would maybe be your hair, but feminine men aren’t unwelcome at Nightraven College, so you mostly get a few questioning stares and that’s it.

-Secondly, Crowley wants to save his own fucking ass. He already has to hide from the press that he has a MAGICLESS student from ANOTHER DIMENSION here, he doesn’t need the fact that you are a woman ALSO on his plate. So, obviously, he helps you hide your gender from others.

-Grim knows, of course, and he keeps his mouth shut for a few yummy cans of tuna (and threats of being expelled from Crowley <3)

-Even when you were just a janitor, he couldn’t have the rumor that he put a “helpless” young woman to work. (Like it wouldn’t be expected.)

-So how do you two do it?

-Baggy ass uniform. Crowley gave you at least three sizes too big.

-Your figure is completely hidden. Sure, you look completely homeless, but at least you’re hidden.

-For your voice, you simply deepen it. After some point, you blackmail Crowley into giving you a potion to help with it, since it's so taxing on your voice. (Or maybe your voice is naturally deep!)

-Sam provides you (for an unfairly pretty penny (not too different from your original world…)) any feminine hygiene products you might need.

-Honestly, you’re set for being cared for, but it’s the adjustment period that’s the hardest part. 

-Truly, it’s very jarring to suddenly be thrown into both a magical world and be isolated in a man's world with nowhere to hide.

-At least in your world you had other women who could understand your struggles. Here though? You’re completely alone.

-You notice how… messy some of these guys could be. How some of them smell… really rancid. -How rough they were with you and each other.

-Honestly, it’s kinda eye-opening. The way men show affection to each other is oddly refreshing to watch and experience!

-Ace and Deuce specifically are a good… trial run.

-That’s not what we’re here to talk about though…

-For the most part, it's incredibly easy to hide yourself for the first while on campus. Everyone on campus is so self-absorbed that they don’t bother questioning you.

-Your only real risk factor is Savannaclaw, but it's easy to avoid those guys (minus Jack, of course).

-However, you can only hide your gender for so long… It’s mentally draining to keep up this facade all the time around people you care about.

-So… how do they find out?

Riddle

-Riddle is the last student in Heartslabyul to find out.

-It’s not like he did anything to you for you to hold off on telling him (you know, other than the whole almost killing you that one time thing), it’s just that you don’t feel inclined to tell him. 

-Simple as that.

-He also really has no reason to question your gender. 

-Riddle didn’t have must interaction with people his own age until he came to night raven college, he doesn’t have the same social ideologies as other people do.

-Nightraven college is really his first touch with society outside of his mothers very watchful, conservative eye.

-So, excuse him for not picking up on stupid little gendered norms that the other students do.

-In his eyes, you dress like a man, you act (sort of) like the other male students, and you prefer he/him pronouns. 

-There’s nothing more to it then, right? If you identify as a man, he has no reason not to treat you as such - nor should he suspect you would hide your gender like that.

-Besides, this is an all boys school! Crowley wouldn’t allow you to attend here unless you were also a boy… right?

-He is aware there are exceptions — and you are already QUITE the exception, but surely Crowley wouldn’t be so cruel as to force a young woman to attend an all boys academy.

-Ah, sweet Riddle, ever in denial.

-He isn’t STUPID though. He notices how brotherly Trey is to you. He knows (and has heard) your many “secret sleepovers” with Cater.

-He ignores these things and doesn’t comment on them simply because, well, he likes you!

-He helps to tutor you sometimes, and he’s gotten to know you through that, and he really does come around on enjoying your presence.

-So, he ignores Trey and Cater’s odd behaviors for your sake.

-You keep him and his dorm members in high spirits, why would he want to shoo something like that away?

-He doesn’t really questionthings until he… overhears a conversation between Deuce and Ace. (A rather loud one, for how supposedly secret this topic was meant to be).

-One of them had gotten in trouble with a professor, and he was going to give them a stern scolding when he overheard what they were talking about.

-“Deuce, dude, you’re gonna want to sit down for this one.”

“What is it, I’m busy trying to finish my potionology homework.”

“Seriously this one is crazy, you’re not ready for for it.”

“Ace, if you’re just messing with me I’m going to leave.”

“Dude, the prefect is a girl.”

“…What?”

-Riddle did not bother the two after that. In fact, he just walked back to his room to sit and think about what he just overheard.

-It DID make sense. You didn’t quite fit in with everyone else for reasons outside of your otherworldly origin.

-You acted differently than the typical guy here at NRC, and you seemed to get along with the peers that were more ‘traditionally feminine’ best.

-It would explain Trey’s coddling and Cater’s secretiveness.

-Still, he didn’t want to assume. This was Ace and Deuce, and Ace could just be messing around with Deuce.

-So, at your next tutoring session, he broaches the subject as politely as possible.

-“So, prefect, I have… overheard something that I wanted to ask you about.”

“Oh no, am I in trouble because of Ace and Deuce again.”

“Not… technically… I did, however, overhear them talking about… you being a woman.”

“…I’m gonna kill them.”

“I could collar them for you, if that would help.”

-The confirmation was reassuring for Riddle in multiple ways. 

-1) Ace isn’t as terrible of a person as the thought he was.

-2) He wasn’t crazy in noticing the slight differences in you and your other peers.

-Now, you and Riddle aren’t exactly super close by any means, so your interactions with each other are limited to when you’re either being tutored or with friends in Heartslabyul.

-However, he is notably more nervous than he usually is.

-He doesn’t have some super secret crush on your all of the sudden, he just… never really had a chance to interact with women before.

-His mom kept him very sheltered from the opposite gender, so he has little to no experience with them.

-On top of that, because of his mother, he does have a slight fear of women. He’s afraid he’s going to upset you and you’ll blow a fuse on him or something.

-You have to assure him that you don’t bite and you won’t suddenly start screaming at him for no reason, and then he begins to relax a bit.

-Still, he’s very sweet and gentlemanly to you.

-If you need help with anyone around campus, you should come to him and he will have them dealt with accordingly.

Leona

-Leona “Respects Women” Kingscholar.

-Leona has SLIGHTLY worse smell than Ruggie, but he also knew immediately upon your arrival that you were a girl.

-In fact, he knew you weren’t a trans man, because they smell distinctly different from the typical woman.

-There aren’t many trans people in the Savannah though, so Ruggie not being able to pick up on that doesn’t really shock him.

-Leona, however, has smelled and seen plenty of trans people in his life time — you aren’t one of them.

-He won’t lie, he’s definitely interested in you. Women where he comes from are big and strong and proud, you’re just kind of plain.

-He keeps his ever curious eye on you though, because he’s interested in how you might navigate this whole thing.

-Now don’t get it twisted, he doesn’t care about you, he’s curious about you. 

-If you were to ask him for help on something, he wouldn’t offer it. (Not that you would, you seem particularly averse to him).

-However, if he were to see some creep trying to… well… creep on you, he’d chase them away without ever having you know he did.

-He was your secret bodyguard who wouldn’t admit it even if you held a knife to his throat.

-Still, he stayed out of your way and you stayed out of his. 

-A symbiotic relationship that you weren’t even aware existed… until you got in his way.

-Like Ruggie, when you start getting a little too involved in his ahem business, he gets pretty damn annoyed.

-You’re not exactly a threat to start, but you are a little trouble maker. If you find out what he’s up to, you’ll ruin his plans completely, and he can’t have that.

-However, he’s not exactly comfortable “taking care of you” like he is his male peers.

-He respects women, okay, you can’t blame him for not wanting to purposefully hurt you. (If his mom and brother found out, he’d never hear the damn end of it)

-He sends out Ruggie to scare you off, explicitly telling him he can’t hurt you on purpose.

-He knows Ruggie already has an idea of what’s going on, so he doesn’t have any qualms with telling him to be careful with you.

-Still, despite all this, he doesn’t really broach the topic until he’s forced to.

-He’s made it known to you, at this point, that he knows your secret. 

-He hasn’t caused you any extra trouble since his overblot, and he keeps his dorm members off your back, so you have no reason to interact with him… until, again, you get yourself into trouble.

-This time it’s YOU dragging him into your mess, despite him wanting nothing to do with it.

-You are convincing, though, so he gives and allows you to stay in his dorm room — rent free! Isn’t he so nice.

-Jack offers himself for protection if you need it, but you can see that Ruggie is quite bemused with the whole situation, so you decide to turn him down.

-Leona hasn’t tried anything yet, and he really could if he wanted to.

-You decide you can trust him. (You have to trust him).

-Then presents the issue of sharing a bed.

-Leona isn’t a weird pervert, okay. He isn’t absolutely leaping at the idea to be in bed with you — he’s so sorry.

-Honestly, it makes him a bit… uncomfortable.

-Sharing a bed is something you do with family or someone you’re involved with, not the weird magic-less kid who’s at least three years too young for you.

-So, Leona, ever the women’s rights activist, approaches you with a proposition.

-“Listen, I know you’re a woman and I know you know that. We’re not sharing a bed, there ain’t no way that’s happening.”

“Oh, so would you like the poor helpless homeless woman to sleep on the floor? How cruel can you be Leona.”

“Shut up, I’m not gonna do that to you. Listen, you can have the bed all to yourself and I’ll sleep on the couch, so long as you promise not to tell a single soul about this.”

“I promise.”

-You immediately tell Ruggie the next morning, and he is sure to make sure Leona never forgets it.

-Living with Leona for the short period of time that you do is very insightful!

-He’s actually pretty funny, much smarter than he lets on, and almost brotherly to you. Which does not fit the M.O. you built of him in your head.

-He’s gruff and pushy, but he does it out of genuineness.

-You end up getting really close to him because of it. 

-His quiet and laid-back demeanor are a break from the chaos of everyone else on campus, and he doesn’t make a big deal out of anything so you can just complain and he nods along unbothered.

-Only thing you notice that upsets him is when you bring up guys who bother you.

-Those guys tend to stop bothering you shortly after. How strange…

Azul

-Azul is hands down the last person on campus you want knowing about this.

-Riddle, Ruggie, Trey, Cater and pretty much everyone with half a brain tell you to stay as far away from him as possible.

-You see him in the halls sometimes, and he doesn’t look to bad. Unapproachable, sure, but he’s a rather pretty guy. Well put together and seemingly very smart from what you’ve been told.

-He helped to subdue Grim in the opening ceremony, so you know he’s magically capable. He’s also a house warden, so that goes unspoken, I suppose.

-He seems interested in you, from what you can tell. He always waves at you when he does see you in a sort of fake friendly kind of way. 

-You’ve seen him and his little (large, very large) goonies admiring ramshackle before.

-You’ve also politely asked them to not do that when you moved in, because it freaks you out a lot. To which they all gave you very eerie smiles and walked away.

-They remind you of a very small mafia, and you decided to heed your friends warnings because of that.

-You do so successfully for a long time too. Other than the few previously stated interactions, Azul seems un-inclined to bother you, and you don’t want to catch his leering eyes.

-Little do you know, Azul has a much more watchful eye on you that you initially thought.

-Sure, you don’t have much to offer him magic wise, but you have ramshackle. Oh, how he wants ramshackle.

-You are key to obtaining it, he just… has to find something on you first.

-You’re so painfully average. Perhaps a little more pretty in the face than his other peers, but you sacrifice that with the atrociousness of your uniform. 

-Truly, nothing about you is different.

-He almost gives up until Grim delivers him an opportunity in a pretty little bow.

-You agree to his contract out of the goodness of your heart, just like he knew you would. So sweet and kind are you, to practically hand him the deed to ramshackle on a silver platter.

-He notices, however, that Jade grows a very… sudden fascination with you.

-Sure, he told both Jade and Floyd to keep and eye on you and keep you in like, but for Jade to be so interested… very odd.

-Then, shortly after, Floyd’s own interest is piqued. Alright… less odd than Jade, but to have both of their eyes on you must mean he’s missing something. (I know I previously said that Floyd found out after Azul, but I was stupid and wrong and you should never listen to me when I’m talking about Floyd).

-He tries to get it out of them by any means, Asking, blackmailing, manipulation. He really does try, but their lips are sealed tight.

-It frustrates him to no end that they know something he doesn’t, and that he can’t figure out this very big secret.

-It stumps him for so long, because he’s looking in all the wrong places for the answer.

-Meanwhile, you know that Jade and Floyd know and you are TERRIFIED waiting for Azul to use this against you.

-The suspense starts killing you and making you anxious enough that its affecting sleep, so you decide to bite the bullet and arrange a meeting with him.

-Azul is honestly delighted, because he was just going to outright force the truth from you at this point.

-“I’m glad you set up this meeting, I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”

“I know… I’ve been pretty nervous about it since Jade and Floyd started pestering me.”

“Before I talk about what I want to, I’d like to hear what you have to say. I’m a good listener after all.”

“Too good, if you ask me. Uhm, anyway, so I know that Jade and Floyd to you that I’m a girl already, but I’m really hoping you would just leave me be. You owe me after all.”

“…You’re a girl?”

“Did they not tell you…?”

-what. What? WHAT?!?!?!

-How could he not tell, he feel so incredibly stupid. Its so obvious now that he thinks about it.

-No wonder Jade and Floyd wouldn’t stop teasing him about it.

-He agrees not to let the secret out — he DOES owe you his life, after all. This is a minor trade.

-However, he does not mentally recover from this revelation for a while.

-He doesn’t treat you very different, I suppose. He’s more gentlemanly with you, and is generally more friendly, but those things come from saving a persons life regardless.

-He is, surprisingly, willing to ensure your whole gender thing doesn’t get out so long as you work a few hours at the monster lounge.

-Probably the best at keeping it to himself and making sure it doesn’t get out. You wouldn’t expect any less with Azul, though.

Kalim

-You and Kalim don’t really have much of a chance to interact.

-He seems sweet enough, and you know he’s much kinder than the rest of the dorm leaders, but you don’t really have any reason to interact with him.

-Kalim also doesn’t think too much of you. 

-You caused a ruckus at the entrance ceremony, that’s for sure, but you kinda blend into the background.

-Besides he’s a party animal — constantly hosting these huge parties at his dorm just because he can.

-As someone trying to keep out of trouble and hide such a huge secret… yeah, parties aren’t exactly your forte.

-So, when you get roped in to coming to Scarabia over winter break, Kalim is pleasantly surprised!

-He’s always excited to make a new friend, and you’re pretty infamous around school, so he’s extra excited to get to know you.

-Kalim has no reason to question anything about you, like most other people would.

-However, he isn’t stupid. He has plenty of younger sisters, and he picks up on social queues better than you’d expect.

-He definitely suspects something is off, but he figures you would tell him if something was up. 

-You actually find him quite easy to be around. He’s someone who makes it easy to let your walls down and just relax with.

-Despite his sudden mood shifts, he always makes sure that you’re happy and healthy and doing the best you can be in your position.

-However, you run out of the magical potion that deepens your voice pretty quickly, and you have to go back to dramatically straining your voice.

-You sound sick, honestly, and it makes Kalim worry. 

-He figures that you’re forcing yourself to deepen your voice so you’re still perceived as a man.

-Instead of asking you directly, as Kalim does, he goes to Jamil.

-“Jamil…”

“What do you need, Kalim?”

“Don’t you think somethings… off with the prefect?”

“Off? What are you talking about, nothings off with them.”

“No, I mean… do you think they might be… a girl?”

“…Kalim, that’s very rude to say. You need to be more respectful.”

“…You’re right, I’m sorry. Could we get him something to soothe his voice though, it sounds rough.”

-Kalim is a lot more watchful of you after that. He just… knows something is wrong, but he doesn’t want to be rude.

-It’s actually you who comes to him when no one is around for help.

-“Kalim, uhm, I need your help.”

“Sure, what’s up?”

“So, I’m pretty sure you know, but I’m not a guy… I’m a girl, and I really need help hiding it. The longer I’ve been here, the harder it’s been on me.”

-Sweetheart he is, he promises to both help you and keep your secret to himself — and he does both surprisingly well!

-He offers his private bathroom to you so you can shower in peace. 

-It’s honestly the best bath you’ve ever had with all his sweet smelling oils. Your skin feels so smooth and renewed.

-Still, even with this, you still don’t feel safe with anyone else — plus the fact that Kalim has random and horrifying mood shifts. You have to flee.

-And yet you still get dragged into more trouble with the octatrio. You still get exposed to the whole dorm by a crazed Jamil, and now have to deal with the horror that they’ll tell everyone.

-Kalim feels awful, and thus shows his forgiveness in the best way he can: giving gifts.

-You get tons of apology gifts from him in the coming months. Baskets of the best shower stuff you’ve ever had; a new, better fitted but still innocuous uniform; enough tuna to keep grim satisfied for years (and sweets that you happily keep to yourself).

-It’s so nice, but you start to feel bad. It feels like you’re taking advantage of his guilt, when you’re not really upset at anyone involved anymore.

-You’re welcome at Scarabia any time. None of his dorm members will ever cause you any trouble, and you can dress and act and sound however you want within Scarabia’s walls. 

Vil

-Miss beauty queen himself. We love Vil, we Stan Vil, we adore Vil… 

-Oh my god he’s a pain in the ass though, especially for you.

-He sees through you in an instant.

-Truly, Vil finds you to be more of a little pest than anything.

-You are constantly in trouble, you are magic less, and you decided to needlessly hide your gender.

-The last one is the worst offense in his eyes.

-Vil is someone who does not value gender, but expression. Your gender does not matter as much as your expression, therefore you hiding your expression irks him.

-He’s understanding enough in the fact that he knows you might be doing this to protect yourself, but he finds it stupid and useless, because you’re easy to see through.

-He avoids you, and you avoid him. Simple as that.

-Unfortunately for Vil, you’ve caught Rook’s eye, which means he must sit through many hours of Rook rambling on about his “findings” about you.

-When you tried out for the VDC, he was simply going to turn you and Grim away, but Rook convinced him to give you a chance.

-Rook wanted him to help your reveal your “inner beauty”, though Vil wasn’t sure if you had any of that.

-You wore baggy, horrifically ugly clothing up until winter break. Your hair was constantly a mess. Your skin was poorly taken care of, and the bags under your eyes were as dark as night.

-It almost made him feel bad for you… so despite his better judgement, he decided to invest time in you.

-Vil makes it very clear that he knows what your whole secret is.

-“I am aware of the fact that you are a woman, however, I will continue to use your preferred pronouns since it seems to bring you comfort.”

-He’s very insistent that you allow him to do your skincare AND your makeup whenever you give him the chance.

-Especially when he moves into ramshackle temporarily, he’s very insistent on maintaining your skincare routine.

-He essentially makes your entire nightly routine himself, and is right there over your shoulder making sure you do it right.

-Despite how overbearing it is, you actually make good friends with him through this.

-Being stuck alone in a room with no one but him to talk to forces you two to talk.

-You get to learn why he cares so much about appearances, and he gets to know why you hide to protect yourself.

-“It’s just… easier to pretend, because guys will bother me less that way.”

“I can’t understand why they would bother you. You’ve done nothing to them, so why would they want to do anything to you.”

“That’s the thing, I don’t know either. I just know it’s scary, and I don’t want to deal with it.”

-You move him, honestly. You’re strong even though you’re scared, and that’s beautiful. Thats what true beauty is.

-He helps you embrace your inner self and express that, while still helping you to hide your gender in a way that feels safe.

-You are always welcome at Pomefiore, and you can come to either him or Rook if you have any issues at all.

-It’s like having a big sister, almost.

Idia

-Idia has eyes everywhere.

-Every inch of that campus is (illegally) being monitored by his watchful eyes. 

-When he’s bored in class, he flicks through the cameras to amuse himself — maybe he’ll see someone slip and fall on their ass. That would be funny.

-He’s not really interested in you in particular.

-In fact, he’d like to keep a very far distance between the two of you.

-You’re… intimidating. You’ve fought some of the most powerful mages on campus and won.

-Total final boss energy, not something Idia is interested in being around.

-What he IS interested in is that wittle kitty you’ve got following you around.

-When he’s bored in class, he goes searching for Grim, and where Grim is you are sure to be.

-So, despite his aversion to you, he ends up spending a lot of time watching you.

-He starts to notice… things about you.

-He notices that you seem to put on a tough guy persona around… well… other guys in your class.

-When it’s just you and Grim though? You’re the softest softie he’s ever seen.

-It’s top tier cringe watching you try to being all macho, so he much prefers your more quiet and relaxed self you show in private.

-Seriously though, you’re a TOTALLY DIFFERENT PERSON when you’re alone with certain people.

-EVEN YOUR VOICE CHANGES!!!

-It’s so uber creepy, it’s like a jumpscare every time you drop that fake deep voice.

-If he’s being real, you’ve got a pretty voice. Honestly, you’re really pretty period. Too pretty to be a guy honestly.

-…

-….

-…..HOLY SHIT!!!

-He has to check your medical files to be sure — which he obviously has access to, thanks to having access to everything Ortho has access to.

-Blah blah blah allergies, blah blah blah horrific injuries from overblots, blah blah blah- AH HAH!

-Next to gender you are listed as… transgender man.

-He doesn’t wanna be that weird transphobic incel, but from what he’s seen? He highly doubts that.

-From what he’s seen in his (invasive) watching, you’re definitely doing the troupe of hiding your gender to better fit in.

-He feels like he’s in an anime or something.

-He doesn’t really want to bother you about it — but from watching you, you seem like someone he’d really enjoy being around.

-Ortho also insists that he’d get along with you very well!

-…It’s worth a shot right.

-He tries several times to “bump” into you, which always ends in him skittering away in fear.

-He psyches himself out every time. “They wouldn’t even wanna hang out with a loser like me.” “They’re way too cool for someone as lame as me.” 

-It’s not until you invite yourself to one of tabletop club’s meetings that he’s forced to interact with you.

-He’s really banking on the fact that you’ll be too busy talking with Azul to notice him, but then Azul leaves and its just you and him.

-Him and you…

-Both of you… in total and complete silence.

-…yep… 

-“Uhm, Idia…?”

“yES!?”

“I came here cause I wanted to talk to you, sorry for being so underhanded about it, I just couldn’t get you alone without you running off.”

“AH— I mean, ahem, okay. My bad.”

-You totally cornered him like an evil villain.

-All because you wanted to… be his friend?

-Is he dreaming, going insane perhaps, did HE get isekaied into an alternate universe where he was likable???

-Nope, Ortho just talks him up a lot, and you think his hair is cool. Huh. Kinda lame compared to what he was thinking.

-You guys talk a LOT after that. You exchange numbers and you text him about all sorts of stuff — and he’s actually interested in it!

-You learn that he’s been watching you and Grim for a long time, and while you scold him.

-You think it’s pretty funny that he’s embarrassed about his love for cute things.

-“If you’ve been keeping your eye on me for so long, you must’ve figured out that I’m a girl, right?”

“Yeah, you’re not great at hiding it. That macho guy act is suuuuper lame, you look like a noob lol.”

“Hey! I’m just copying what Deuce told me to do!”

-You guys don’t really see each other face to face very often, but like I said you text a lot.

-Sometimes he’ll text you shit like ‘I saw that, saved it for blackmail.’ After you biffed your shit on the pavement or something.

-When Idia gets more comfortable, you two spend hours on call whenever you get the chance.

-He lends you some of his precious manga, and even gives you an older TV he had laying around so you can watch stuff at ramshackle.

-Sometimes he invites you over to play video games with him and Ortho, and he gets all cocky and proud when you gush about how cool all his tech is.

-And, yeah, Idia definitely forms a little crush on you — but he would do that regardless of your gender. 

-He just likes you a lot, and you can feel safe on campus knowing he’s watching over you when you need it. (Mostly watching Grim, tbh.)

Malleus

-We know that Malleus enjoys… creeping outside of Ramshackle.

-He spends quite a lot of time on your front lawn, therefore, he’s usually in proximity of you.

-However, he is very intimidating!

-As a young woman in a magical world that you are not from, a very tall man with horns is the exact opposite of what you want to be around.

-Besides, you’ve heard the rumors about him — how powerful he is, and how scary he is.

-Malleus, on the other hand, is admittedly curious about you.

-He finds humans in their own right incredibly interesting, but you are not just a regular human.

-You are a human who has no magic and is from another world entirely. 

-You are something he has never once seen in his whole life, so excuse his childish curiosity.

-Still, you’re sort of cleverly avoiding him at every chance you get, and he just can’t quite find the time to talk to you.

-Until one night, you come back rather late and you find him in your yard… again.

-You send Grim in by himself and decide to confront him by yourself, because you are tired of being afraid to fall asleep at night.

-“Hey, you, could you maybe not stare at my house in the middle of the night!”

-Oh. You are quite feisty, and very bold to approach Malleus Draconia with such an aggressive tone.

-“I’m unsure what you mean, I’m simply admiring the architecture.”

“I don’t care WHAT you’re doing, you’re freaking me out! I know you’re supposedly some big scary monster guy, but I need you to STOP being weird outside my house.”

“…My apologies…”

-Malleus is pleasantly surprised at your spunk — he’s never been spoken to like that, he’s excited by it.

-After you yell at him, you let him explain himself, and you realize he is just… really, really bad at socializing.

-He wasn’t watching you, he just really enjoys silence and ramshackle is the quietest place on campus — even with you living in it.

-So, you give him the benefit of the doubt, because he really does just seem like he’s lost on everything around him 90% of the time.

-You don’t hang out with him during the day, but if you happen to see him on your lawn (as he usually is), you go out and hang out with him for a while.

-It makes Malleus happy, because you treat him like a friend. You give him cute nicknames, and you invite him inside for snacks, and you go out of your way to say hello to him when you pass him in the halls.

-He also gets to know more about you, and his curiosities about you and your world get quelled.

-He doesn’t really question anything about you, especially not your gender.

-Gender is hardly important for fae, and you seem confident in your expression, so he has no reason to wonder. Besides, there are far more thrilling things about you than your sex.

-So, you and Malleus start to grow close. So close, in fact, that you can confidently say that he’s one of your closest friends.

-At this point, almost everyone who you want to know about your gender knows. Everyone but Malleus.

-Initially you kept it a secret because you didn’t know how good he was at not talking, but now…

-Now, well, you don’t really have a reason.

-People usually question you at this point, or at least seem suspicious, but Malleus?

-Malleus shows not a hint that he thinks something is up. It’s odd to you, isn’t he supposed to be super smart or something. Maybe he’s just too respectful.

-Regardless, you decided to talk to him about it the next time you see him staring at the gargoyles around campus.

-“Hey Tsunotaro, what’re you up to?”

“Just admiring these gargoyles here, aren’t they fascinating? They were the first few installed in the school, if my memory serves me correctly.”

“They are very cool, but could I ask you something not gargoyle related?”

“What is it, child of man?”

“You know that I’m, uhm, a girl right?”

“Oh. I did not know that, how interesting.”

-He doesn’t understand why you would hide that, but it doesn’t really perturb him that much.

-The most you got was an eyebrow raise, and then he was back to his gargoyles.

-You were pretty satisfied with that, so you figured he wouldn’t tell anyone… and then you hear him loudly talking about it with his friends in Diasomania.

-Sigh… he means well, but he just doesn’t get the social stuff.

-You’re not mad, because pretty much everyone knows at this point, but it still sucks that he’s such a loudmouth.

[actual-changeling]

i have taken apart the kiss several times now for different reasons. today, though, i am reaching a new low. or high, when talking about the level of insanity i am about to present.

the question i will attempt to answer is the following: did they kiss with tongue?

alex, you might ask, why? and to that i respond. i don't know. i wish i did. i tried to get this out of my mind but it did not work so here we are. as always, keep in mind that this is just speculation. i swear i can write intelligent meta too i just need to get this out of my system

i slowed down the parts of the kiss that show us their lips/mouths, so here goes evidence piece A. the left picture is from the very beginning of the kiss, the second one from the middle/early end part.

now, on the left the kiss seems quite chaste to me, which makes sense, since aziraphale is still in shock and not kissing back yet (if you missed the post on him kissing back, you can find the meta here). on the right, the angle and position of their mouths have changed and look to be slightly more open than before.

this is where i present evidence piece B, both pictures are from the same scene the one on the right is from. if you compare these to the very first one, the difference in how open their mouths are is pretty visible.

aziraphale is kissing back at this point, and he is kissing back properly. even their jaws look more open than at the beginning of the kiss, and with how long it went on, i think them kissing with tongue is not even too much of an insane conclusion to come to.

lastly, i will show you evidence piece C, which is a small chronological collection of frames after the kiss, right when crowley lets go and aziraphale stumbles back a little. there has been speculation about why he makes the face he does, and i would like to give you my thoughts. not only is he about to cry, his mouth is also open because the kiss ended quite suddenly and he did not expect it.

his mouth opens a bit more and he pushes his tongue slightly forward, but it was already open. now, i don't know about you guys, but i don't think it's common to open your mouth and stick your tongue out after a kiss, with your eyes still closed.

that is the kinda thing you do when you are kissing someone with tongue and are not expecting them to suddenly pull back.

listen. i slowed these clips down. i zoomed in. i watched them over and over and i cannot find another explanation for why his mouth would be open, especially because he then closes it once he opens his eyes and realizes crowley has let go.

so in conclusion: yes. yes they did kiss with tongue. and i really need the therapy appointment i have scheduled for next week because this feels like an entirely new mental illness.

[a-twistedheartslonging]

Nonhuman AU Jack.

Wolf beastmen are naturally bigger than their cousin, the dog beastmen.

Has black claws.

His fur is so freaking fluffy and he has so much of it. Arms, legs chest, underarms, floof happy trail, above his tail. It's perfect for shoving your face in. Be careful not to get it in your mouth.

Said fur is something he has a lot of and it’s thick. As a result, he has some problems with overheating, more so in the summer. Till his winter coat shades and… it's a lot and gets everywhere. It's around that time he’ll need to be taken outside a few times and given a good brushing. That floof will go everywhere and the local bird will wait nearby to take that floof going around for their nests. It's good quality nesting stuff and the birds want it. 

A wolf pup’s eyes are blue at birth. Their eyes turn yellow by the time they are eight months old. This was also the case for Jack when he was a baby.

Is fully capable of crunching bones with his jaw and there's a local butcher back home that he and his family like to get those along with meat.

Like a regular wolf, Jack has a light-reflecting layer on his eyes, also known as tapetum lucidum and it makes his eyes glow in the dark and he also has good night vision.

I found out ravens often follow wolves to grab leftovers from the hunt—and to tease the wolves. They play with the wolves by diving at them and then speeding away or pecking their tails to try to get the wolves to chase them. Imagine Crowley liking to bother Jack...until Owl Rook shows up cuz owls also have some beef with corvids.

“Wolves howl to contact separated members of their group, to rally the group before hunting, or to warn rival wolf packs to keep away. Lone wolves will howl to attract mates or just because they are alone.” Kinda funny if certain beasties like him howl when they want to hang with their homies. You end up hearing random howling during a normal school day. Also, him howling because he's trying to attract his mate (you) and just looking at you expectedly after.

He tries to seem cold and distant at first but that doesn't last too long, still a tsundere about things though. The others keep pointing out how he helps you out more than he does his other friends. Well, obviously it's because the human needs more help things being weak and all…totally no other reasons.

You know those lines about how he messed up making that flower crown his sister wanted and how she ended up crying? And then he smooshed all those macaroons during the cooking thing? Yeah, he’s cononly bad with delicate things and even more so with those claws in the nonhuman au, he asks for your help with delicate things and offers to help you with other things in return. Lifting heavy things, reaching, scaring off other guys. Though he already does all that without even being asked. He also likes comparing your hands but gets annoyed at you calling his paw pads toe beans. He has mostly human hands, he just has the patting on his fingertips along with the pad on his palm...and he has claws....and fur on the top part of his hand....yeah mostly human hands.....

One time he got a tail sprang because being around you makes his tail go nuts. The others teased the hell out of him for it.

Wants you two to do things together and convinced you to try going for runs with him, unfortunately, you couldn't keep up with his big wolfie self. But when you were about to mention it he suddenly picked you up and carried you for the rest of the run saying something about adding this to his routine to make him stronger. It does become a part of his morning running routine.

A wolf pack may contain just two or three animals, or it may be 10 times as large. Once you guys become friends he decides the two of you are your own little pack and expects you to know that.

The two of you are around each other…a lot and not just because you guys share classes. However, he does insist on sitting next to you for each class. Wolves are pack animals after all. Always staying close. Walking you back to your dorm, making sure you have lunch together, and even taking food from his plate to add onto yours, kinda hovers around you, and wants you to either join his club or hang out where it's happening.

I hope you're prepared for wolf kisses once you're together. Now regular wolves do it for a few reasons. To show affection, say hello, to show respect, to see if you are sick, to see if you've eaten anything good. Wolfs with human handlers will even do it to them and they have to keep their lips shut really tied or else they’ll get sloppily frenched. Jack is gonna have some deep wet kisses, and straight up lick your teeth. And your face…and your neck…and…

He’s totally going to try grooming you the wolf way and get growly if you push his face away.

You will be scented often. When he sees you in the morning, before you leave, after a shower, after he smells someone else on you.

Keep a lint roller handy cuz of this guy.

When you are alone he’s a lot more affectionate and especially loves getting scritches on his ears, chest, and above his tail. You're the only person he will let rub his tummy in his full wolf form. You might even catch him making wolfie noises when you find a good spot to scratch. 

He really likes it when you help him with his grooming, and with his kind of fur, he needs it often.

With wolf courting he will do with you what males do with females regardless if you're a guy, gal, or nonbinary pal. 

 With regular wolfs it usually involves the male following the female around and the female allowing him to approach her. They may vocalize, scent mark, and chase each other around. They may also touch noses, lick muzzles, mouth each other, bump bodies, groom, and nibble coats, the male may bow to the female, toss and tilt his head, and walk and sleep close together.

So, you not pushing him away is something he’ll take as you be cool with it. Tests things out with some nuzzles and a gentle nip or two. Some (cute) wolf noises, help you with your grooming, be it straightening out your clothes or even giving a lick. Will bump noses with you and gently bump your body with his. Will walk with you any chance you get and will want to have sleepovers more often.

Talk of wolf mating habits and Jack's junk below.

For wolfs mating season can be anywhere from January to April with the female having only five to seven days of estrus. During this time, the pair may move out of the pack temporarily to prevent interruption from other pack members. Since your human “mating season” is pretty much any time you ovulate if you can but really the whole thing that gets male animals when it comes to seasons is that they smell that their mate is excited/fertile, so anytime he smells you being aroused it's going to have him react. So, if he knows you're cool, with it he’s to want to get you away from everyone and take care of you. 

However, with Jack, he will likely want to hold off on sex and want to date for a long while, build trust, and make sure you are right for each other. He takes dating and relationships very seriously. He only wants to have one mate for his whole life after all. Anyways, once he does deem himself ready and knows that you are too he’ll want to work his way up to full-on sex starting with oral, using hands, and whatnot.

He really likes giving oral, especially because of the taste and scent. Male wolves will smell the genital region to determine readiness to mate, tongue flicking in and out, and testing the air for traces of sex hormones and only stop if their mate growls and snaps their jaws at them.

A kind of funny/cute thing wolves do right before mating is act happy by nuzzling and whipping tails in each other's faces. Just all happy about mating I guess. I mean, Jack probably has his tail going already when you're making out or having actual sex. Ask him if he wants a blowjob then his face is all serious but flushed and his tail is going back and forth. Pretty darn cute I must say.

Yes, his dick is big, and yes, he has a knot. You'll be stuck together for about half an hour before it deflates, and he can pull out.

Kinda gross but he likes to clean your hole out with his tongue after mating.

[vtoriacore]

Yo! It's me! I was wondering if I could request Ruggie, Idia, Riddle, and Malleus with a significant other who fights people for just breathing in their direction. Like Crowley opens his mouth and their already like "SHUT UP!" And throws chairs at people. I think the comedic potential for this is exponential

✧ alla stocatta (this chair)!

note: this is such a funny fucking concept LMFAO😭 gremlin MC agenda has gotta be my fucking fave they have the power to be so unhinged and i live for it also not proofread because it's low-key 12 am BUT. it's readable so-

characters: ruggie, idia, riddle, malleus

people who reblogged here is a special heart and a kith y'all do the most and ily 💞

♡ RUGGIE

ruggie finds it both amusing and kind of intimidating (and kinda hot but he'll die before he admits this yk) how you literally defend his honour (even when it doesn't necessarily need to be defended) but is he complaining? fuck no! 

half the time he is laughing and the other half is him cheering you on and maybe even encouraging you to do something just a little overboard (nothing that will get you into trouble, and if it does he's usually happy to take the blame) 

the first time he witnessed you literally throwing your broom at leona in joint flight class because he wouldn't stop bitching to ruggie was just about the most hilarious fucking thing he's ever seen and oh- there he goes falling off because he couldn't stop laughing (he stops when you catch him and ask if he's okay though - this mf may think he's slick but is literally reduced to a blubbering mess once he finds himself in a position considered a little too intimate with you) 

the second time he saw you trip someone up because they looked at him wrong, and your silly, sly self simply gave them the most unimpressed look you could muster with a "watch where you're going" 

the hyena was too stunned to speak 😮 no but seriously he found that both hilarious (as always) and admirable because holy shit, you did it so nonchalantly and it looked so fucking cool- he questions how he was even able to pull you (dw ruggie, you've got rizz!) 

he absolutely loves when you stand up for him for more serious stuff though, like if someone's insulting him for his status or for having to work etc. because your no-bullshit attitude actually works so well? you just casually throw a chair at the mf even daring to look at him and his heart goes ✨✨✨ all the while he's laughing and cheering you on from the sidelines. 

.

♡ IDIA

at first, idia is fucking terrified! bro is borderline crashing because how the fuck did you have the strength to haul that heavy ass cauldron at the person making a snide remark about him? he was going to say he's NEVER coming to class again but after this, he changes his mind so quick

like, you looked so badass doing that? the savannaclaw loser who tried insulting him barely got two words out and you just- oh wow! he just got the "in love" status applied to him again! 

nah but fr he is literally fucking grinning as he stares at the poor, poor fool laying on the ground and is so fucking smug about it too! 

"that was an ez no scope, didn't even have to be 360 lol'

"idia ily but what"

"it's a roundabout way of saying this bozo stood no chance, you pulled up on him too quick lmao"

at first, he is a bit concerned that you might end up in trouble with someone for doing all this but . . . yk, his money speaks for itself and if something does ever happen covering up wouldn't be too hard so he lets you do as you please

this hades-rapunzel secret love child thinks its low-key hot too, but he'll never admit it and he literally turns bright fucking pink anytime he even thinks this. you tried prying the answer out before, but he pulled out his secret trump card - fainting on you so he wouldn't have to say a thing

idia is another mf to absolutely egg you on as you cause some more chaos, it's getting to the point ortho had to warn you of nearly breaking someone's arm before you stopped. idia was just standing there, the most villainous, evil grin to have ever graced his face; "no, no! let them cook!"

.

♡ RIDDLE

riddle. fucking. FAINTS! 

he was NOT ready for that strawberry tart to end up lodged down someone's throat as you victoriously shrugged your shoulders with a "what? they had it coming."

"oh great heavens what have you- where is the decorum? what could have possibly compelled you to-" aaaaaaaand man's down!

when he awakes, he's frantically shaking your shoulders and asking why you would even think that nearly suffocating someone (not really, you pushed the tart far enough they could swallow) was appropriate 

but let me tell you, when he hears it was because they've insulted him and brought his mother into it, he low-key feels light headed and oh wow his cheeks are getting pretty warm huh? 

riddle, in his own spiteful way, actually doesn't probe you on this any longer and makes you promise that you won't do this in his vicinity again

you of course, nod along. you won't do it in his vicinity, but will be perfectly fine exacting your revenge straight after he's out of sight

when you actually end up having a . . . a chair duel. yes, he read that right. (he wasn't about to even question how that came about but nontheless) he ends up both impressed at you exploiting a loophole you've found within his statement and at the fact the person you've just beaten (both literally and figuratively) is miserably sitting on the floor apologising for giving riddle the wrong look at 12:34 AM on the 3rd of march. very specific 

riddle doesn't even chastise you for this one, he is exasperated but does actually pull you away from the scene and thanks you for defending him. this time, he makes you promise to resolve your fights for him verbally, but he won't be stopping you from this point on (it's because he doesn't want to and enjoys you standing up for him)

.

♡ MALLEUS

the student walking away from malleus makes him feel a bit bad. so naturally, to remedy this, you end up shouting at them! now they're backing away from you instead, isn't this the meaning of true love? (no)

this silly little very capable of looking after himself fae is fucking over the moon! absolutely smitten! completely in love! when you come to defend him and angrily shout at people for not treating him like a being worthy of respect and love.

he low-key debates proposing to you on the spot after you also somehow manage to get a student to apologize to him for fearing him for no good reason! he appreciates the sentiment and you caring for his well being, isn't that basically marriage already? no? he'd like to digress immediately

malleus does get a bit concerned when things get physical, not that he doesn't trust you to take care of yourself or anything but he worries that you might end up hurt. oh, did you think he'd care for the person you're fighting? or you getting in trouble? nah, he could literally BBQ anyone who even dared harm you anyway and if crowley even thought to step in, he'd soon be reconsidering because he doesn't want to end up an elaborate crow dish

however, on the occasion that you do outsmart your opponent (aka the savannaclaw student who just rolled his eyes at the dragon fae) he feels hella proud and is very amused at your antics. i mean, the way you just psychologically destroyed the fool in front of you for their comment on malleus not even being that good at magift is very sure to leave them questioning why they even bothered coming  out the womb for the rest of their life. 

he is another one that finds it low-key 😳😳😳 like damn, did you always look this badass when flipping someone off for even breathing wrong near him? sane thoughts just weren't made for malleus

[angelizs]

[Club activities - part 1]

Summary: Crowley insists you join one of the school's clubs, even though your schedule is already full. Having no other choice, you oblige, on one condition: you'll attend a meeting of each club before deciding which one you'll join. As expected, shenanigans ensue.

Notes: gn!reader, humor, it's kinda long, reader is oblivious, mentions of minor injuries but in a funny way dw, I had to research about horse management and now you'll know about it too

Part: 1 (you're here!) / 2.0 / 2.5 (soon!)

"Do I really have to do this? Isn't it enough that I already am your unnoficial errand runner, Grim's babysitter, Ramshackle's prefect and have to deal with an overblot a month on top of whatever insanity the students decide to put me through while I try to keep my grades up to not lose my scholarship?"

You really hoped he would listen to reason, after all, you already have way more than enough on your plate. As it is, he obviously didn't hear to a word you said. How unfortunate. 

"Of course it's most crucial you participate in a club! As a model educator, I must set an example for my peers. How would it look if one of my students didn't partake in such an important school activity?"

Crowley looks agravated by the mere idea. You deadpan at him. He stares back at you. Grim snoozes in the background. 

"Well, which one will it be?"

You sigh, as if the weight of the world was in your shoulders.

"...Can I see the list, at least?"

Crowley smiles, his whole demeanor changing as soon as he got what he wanted. You brace yourself for what is to come, knowing it will be a headache.

After taking a look at your options, you decide to go in one meeting of each before choosing one to join. You could just randomly pick one and be done with it, but since you're already being forced to do this, you should do something you enjoy.

The headmaster gives you a genial smile and agrees on your conditions, telling you how kind he is for doing so and how it will be great for your education. You glare at him, defeated.

Better start sooner than later, right?

Spelldrive Club (Leona, Ruggie, Epel)

Good news, you've played spelldrive before, so you're not entirely lost!

You keep that in mind as you arrive at the field. It's pretty intimidating, with most of the players being thugs from Savanaclaw that look like they could fold you in half like a twig. You scurry to Epel's side.

He's surprised you decided to participate in a meeting, but really happy as well since it's a chance to show off his manliness to you. You chat for a bit as you wait for Leona, the captain, to arrive. Ruggie eventually joins you both, cracking some joke about your unexpected attendance and having a new member on the team.

Once Leona arrives, he looks just as grumpy as usual, but his ears are perked up and he's scanning the field as if looking for something. And it seems he finds it once his eyes land on you, leading him to your little group's direction.

Crowley had the decency of telling him in advance about your test drive of the club, but Leona warns you he won't allow you to slack off just because it's your first day. You're surprised he even bothered to tell you this, as you imagined he would be as unenthusiastic as he is about his normal classes. It seems he has high expectations for you. Epel and Ruggie look startled as well, but wisely keep their mouths shut.

Everyone did light stretchs and got their brooms, ready to play. It was... intense. You already expected it from what little experience you had from the tornament, not to mention that by being magicless you had a limited range of moves you could pull, but it seemed Leona was a strict leader when it came to the sport. 

That, or he wanted to show off today for some reason. According to one of Epel's snide remarks, Leona is usually more laid back than he was being. You couldn't help but worry it had something to do with you, so you kept your head low and tried to follow the best you could, least he screamed at you as well. Besides, his complaints did sound reasonable, even if he was blunt and kind of rude about them, so it was good he was so motivated!

And he wasn't the only one. Epel was giving his all, pulling stunts left and right to get points. You were amazed by his ability, since you've never seen him play before, you had no idea he was this good! Your gaze would wander to wherever he was and you could swear you felt him staring back sometimes, though he turned his head away too fast for you to confirm it.

Even so, he wasn't safe from blundering his play eventually. After marking a point, he turned in your direction, confident that you've been watching, chest puffed out proudly. Only to be met with your panicked look as you tried to signal for him to look behind. One of the players from Savanaclaw shoved him then, almost dropping him from his broom. Luckly, Epel managed to catch himself just in time to avoid an accident, making you sigh relieved, your clammy hands readjusting their grip on your own broom, heart beating wildly on your chest. Leona screamed at both of you for being distracted, but he glared harder at Epel.

Ruggie was another one set on impressing you with his techniques, doing dangerous tricks on his broom while in midair. You knew he was very good, he was the one you went against on the first time you played, after all, but still cheered on his tricks. His cheeky smile stayed firm on his face, growing at every compliment you threw his way. His tail was wagging behind him, but you didn't have to know that.

The thing is, if he started to pay too much attention on you to gauge your reactions, he got distracted from the game going on around him. On more than one occasion he was almost throw out while dangling on his broom with only his feet, somehow managing to get his balance back everytime. Leona looked ready to burst a blood vessel when it happened, you had a feeling he was going to be extra annoying to Ruggie for the rest of the week.

All in all, you couldn't do much, so you stayed at the sidelines watching your friends play. You were sweating all over, the scorching sun shining above you. Did you remember to use sunscreen? You closed your eyes and took one arm off your broom to wipe out some sweat from your brow, distracted. You were pretty tired. The shouting went on at the background. You had the impression your friends were calling your name. As soon as you were going to turn to their direction and see what it was that they wanted, everything went black and you lost consciousness.

You woke up at the infirmary, having a feeling of deja vu. Why whenever you tried to play spelldrive something had to happen? Epel, Ruggie and Leona were by your bedside, looking worried, upset or annoyed. They explained a disk went out of course and ended up hitting you at the back of your head, causing you to pass out. 

Ruggie proudly announced he was the first one to react and caught you just in time, before you hit the ground. Epel added that he helped Ruggie bring you to the infirmary and that Leona went off on everyone at the field for not catching the damned disk. Leona just huffed and pretended to not care, but you could tell he did just from how he stayed waiting for you to wake up.

As sweet as that little moment was, you didn't want a repeat of what happened and felt spelldrive wasn't really for you. Time to check out other clubs. 

(Epel excitedly asks for you to come and watch another pratice some time. Ruggie backs him up and pulls his puppy eyes on you. Leona looks like he would like that as well but stays silent, staring at you expectantly, ears perked up. You end up agreeing, not wanting to crush their enthusiasm. It seems they really enjoyed having you over. Not sure if the rest of the team could say the same, but a glare from Leona will shut them up if they dare to bother you.)

Equestrian Club (Riddle, Silver, Sebek)

There were horses on campus!? How come you never met one before? Time to rectify that!

You couldn't remember if you ever rode a horse before or not. Well, surely everything would turn out alright, since some of the most responsible people were on this club. Surely.

Riddle was the one that greeted you and showed you around the stables. There was a huge area dedicated to them, with all the horses having their own section and a fenced space reserved for riding them. They were all very well taken care of, as Riddle made sure to tell you about some of his duties as a member of the club. He even took you to meet his horse and taught you how to pet it!

You also met Sebek and Silver tending to their horses and talked with them a bit. Sebek expressed his diligence as always, talking loudly about his passion for the sport and how he would definitly make his Lord proud of his work. Silver was less overwhelming and seemed gentler surrounded by animals like that, as he told you softly that he was glad you showed interest in their club and how he hoped you'd enjoy it.

After such a warm welcome, you had your hopes high for this club! (Especially after what happened at spelldrive pratice). It didn't involve any magic either, so you could do everything just fine. All was well, until you were assigned a horse to tend for the day.

There was only one horse available, so you didn't have much of a choice, really. It was a beautiful white horse that truly looked straight out of a fairytale, with it's elegant aura and thick mane. If only it's temper could match it's appearence. It was one of the most petulant equines you've ever seen. It took a while for it to even let you get closer without trying to bite your hand off.

Silver said it still didn't have a name and Riddle told you that since you were it's handler for the day, you should name it. You decided to name it Maximus. Sebek liked the name, loudly approving it. Maximus seemed pretty content as well, so you patted yourself on the back for scoring one point with him.

The first thing you were going to do before actually riding him was to groom him. You decided to watch how your friends did it and mimick their actions. Riddle handed you a bucket with different brushes that you had no idea what should be used for. Sebek secured Maximus for you, saying it was to make sure he wouldn't move around while you tried to take care of him. Silver helped you two get acquainted, making sure you knew basic safety instructions.

You grab a round rubber comb, watching Riddle rub circles on his horse's side with a firm hold. Starting on Maximus' left side, you hesitantly bring the comb in contact with his fur, watching as he gives you a nasty side eye. You weakly start your sweeps, careful to not hurt him or press on a tender spot. Riddle tells you to use more pressure in order to remove the dirt from his coat. You increase your strenght as he nods approvingly. Just as he's about to turn back to his own work, he sees you sliding the brush down Maximus' shoulders and to his legs, his tail swishing in warning. He manages to pull you back just in time before Maximus closes his jaw where your hand was mere moments ago. Your arm trembles and your eyes are wide as he explains which areas are sensitive and that you'd better avoid them.

After using a stiff brush that reminded you of a broom to knock out the dirt you had loosened, being extra careful on the areas Riddle mentioned, you grab a soft brush. You feel dread pool on your stomach as you watch Silver kneel down to tend to his horse's legs. You stare at Maximus, hoping he would let you do the same, but you swear his expression is one that says 'I dare you to try and see what happens'. You gulp but still get down to it, better get it done as soon as possible. The front legs go swimmingly, the back ones not so much. As you're almost getting finished you accidently press on a sore spot. Maximus loudly neighs, stamps his foot and raises his knee, causing you to fall on your behind, surprised and very much still in hitting range. You were pretty sure that was it, you were going to infirmary again with the worst concussion ever known to man. Thankfully, Silver had noticed it just in time to drag you away, holding you by your armpits like a misbehaving kitten. Your knees feel weak, so you stay on the ground with a racing heart as you watch Silver calm Maximus down.

The next step was to clean Maximus' hooves. Anyone with half a brain cell could sense it was a bad idea to leave you to it, so you stayed back while Sebek did the cleaning. He didn't to it quietly though, he made sure to shout every step so you'd learn how to do it at a later date. You couldn't even find it in yourself to be mad at his condescending tone, too grateful for him helping you out. You thank him sincerely as he pauses mid rant. He stares at you with his mouth open, as if he had short circuited. Sebek stays strangely quiet for the next few minutes, not making eye contact with you but trying to steal glances your way without you noticing. Maximus huffs and it sounds mocking, somehow. 

To finish it up, you comb Maximus' mane, untangling it carefully, finding it surprisingly relaxing and by far the best part of this whole thing. When brushing his tail, you make sure to stand by his side, not behind, to avoid almost being kicked again. You look proudly at your work as Maximus flaunts himself. Riddle, Silver and Sebek compliment your efforts, making you smile sincerely despite being pretty sure Maximus hates your guts and has cursed your entire bloodline in his mind.

Finally, the time has come. You're going to actually ride the horse now!

That is, if you manage to mount it first. 

You try to mount Maximus' by his right side, but he doesn't budge. Plus, he's too tall for you to reach properly. He stares at you. You're sure he's laughing at your misery. Silver, bless him, comes to your aid. He hands you a safety helmet and calmly checks if the saddle is well secured with the girth and all buckles are fastened. He offers you his hand and you take it, letting him guide you to Maximus' left side as he explains just how to get up. He looks very princely like this, talking almost excitedly... or, well, as excited as Silver gets. He doesn't look like he's about to fall asleep, so that must count for something, and there's a rare smile on his face. He must really like his club. And the horses seem to like him just fine as well. Way too fine, actually, since they insist in interrupting him as he talks, demanding his attention. His horse smacks it's tail on your face as it nuzzles on Silver's hand. Maximus neighs amused, that bastard.

You thank Silver and let him get to his own activities, not wanting to take more of his time. He leaves, but his smile dropped and he looked almost disappointed. You wonder what that was about. Either way, you go find a steeping stool to help you mount Maximus. Riddle goes with you, insisting in supervising everything to make sure you won't have any problems. He holds Maximus' face to make sure he will stay quiet for you to mount him like Silver taught you to. As soon as you're seated Riddle withdraws from proximity, letting Maximus have some space. However, before you get time to grip the reins, Maximus takes off, leaving you to desperately hold onto his neck as he runs around. Riddle goes after the two of you, trying to stop him while you hold your screams in. After a full minute of this, Maximus suddenly stops, making you let go of your grip on him and fall to the side. Riddle fusses over you, making sure you're not badly hurt while reprimanding the horse for the stunt he pulled. 

You do feel sore all over, but refuse to back down. You're not going to let Maximus have the last laugh. You thank Riddle for his help and let him go back to his horse, assuring him you'll be fine. He checks on you once more to make sure you're ok before going, looking behing his shoulder as if you were about to fall again. You smile reassuringly. His face turns red like his hair and he scurries away. You take Maximus back to where you left the steeping stool, determined to mount him and actually stay there this time.

Sebek notices your struggle and decides to graciously help you once more. Maximus squirms around but eventually the two of you make him stay in place while you mount him. Sebek keeps his hand on Maximus while you adjust your footing and organize the reins. Once you're ready, you nudge Maximus with your lower leg, encouraging him to start walking. Sebek insists on being close the entire time, making corrections to your position and moviments, such as keeping your back straight and looking forward. Even with his harsh soldier like tone, you begin enjoying the ride and compliment him on his ability as a teacher, stating how much of an exceptional rider he must be. Sebek blushes and starts stuttering, words getting mixed up with one another. Without his clear instructions you start having a rockier time with reining Maximus, but he manages to not blunder his words too much when telling you how to halt and to dismount your horse.

At the end of pratice you're sweaty, covered in mud and sore all over. It was fun some times, but you rather not have to worry for your life at every meeting (the overblots and dealing with your friends antics was already more than enough life threatning excitement for you). You also feel you should steer clear from the stables, just in case Maximus tries to commit his revenge on you. Time to check out other clubs.

(The boys insist you only need some more practice, that you have potential, that Maximus will warm up to you. They are very earnest when telling you they enjoyed having you over, even if they had to keep an eye on you the whole time to make sure you wouldn't get hurt. When they ask you to come by another time, you can't say no. You suppose you do owe them one for all their help. They ligthen up when you agree, so you can't bring yourself to regret it, even if you know you'll have to deal Maximus once again.)

Basketball Club (Ace, Floyd, Jamil)

Oh, this is Ace's club, right? And it's a normal non-magical sport as well. Let's give it a try!

The first person to greet you is, obviously, one of your closest friends (and cause of your daily headaches), Ace. He had bragged to you about his ability in playing basketball before, something about being the best freshmen in the team and even Riddle complimenting him on his skill. He teases you, asking if you'll be able to keep up with him, which earns him an eyeroll and a friendly punch on the shoulder.

You quickly remember who else Ace mentioned being on the team as soon as you hear a loud voice call for 'Shrimpy' and two arms squeezing the air out of you. Of course, Floyd was overenthusiastic about your participation, telling you how your presence would surely make things interesting and how this class was starting to get boring so it was good to have something new added to it. You're not sure how to react so you reply telling him you'll do your best (and praying he'd let you go before you run out of air). Floyd stares at you for a bit, taken aback from such an earnest answer, before squeezing you even harder for being so cute. Ace comes to the rescue, saving you from passing out before the class could even start.

You also find another familiar face on the team, Jamil. You thank whatever higher being that was out there looking out for you for sending a sane person to keep you company. It seems Jamil shares the sentiment, as you start a light conversation about the club that ends up being more about Jamil complaining that he had to deal with Kalim's shenanigans his entire life and the only moment he's alone he has to babysit Ace and Floyd, least they cause a disaster and the rest of the team is blamed for it. You sympathize with him, promising to do your part in the babysitting duty for the day. Jamil looks really relieved as he thanks you.

Before pratice, just like in Spelldrive, you did light stretches, competing with Ace to see who can reach their feet when bending down or who can stay longer balancing on one leg. Everyone got separated in duos to train some passes before actually playing. Scattering across the gym, each at one end of the room, you and Ace threw the ball between yourselves. He always had some cheeky comment to make about your lack of skill, which only motivated you to throw the ball harder at his direction, technique be damned. All the while you had to be careful to avoid stray shots from the others around you. Perhaps you should have brought the safety helmet from the Equestrian club.

Floyd and Jamil (he must have been dragged into this, being one of the only ones able to handle Floyd) were right next to where your duo was. They both were obviously skilled, doing tricks with the ball to show off. You were actually pretty impressed as you observed them, so much so that you miscalculated your shot and instead of sending the ball to hit Ace, it went at Floyd's direction. As Floyd was busy annoying the closest student to his side, he only noticed the ball right before it hit him, too late to stop it. 

Thankfully his skull was thick enough that not even a basketball hitting him managed to hurt, though it did leave quite an impressive red mark on his face. Ace swore and scurried away from Floyd's other side, Jamil pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, you felt your heart drop. The student that previously had Floyd's attention took the opportunity to run away, leaving the four of you in this stalemate. Even with all the activity around, you could only focus on the way Floyd raised his eyes to meet your frightened ones, an impassive expression on his face and your basketball on his hand.

Instead of a frown and the deeper tone of voice you expected (alongside the promise of pain in your future), you were met with a wide grin, sharp teeth at full display, and a high pitched giggle. You didn't know which was worse. Either way, you felt like a prey caught in it's predator radar. Floyd told you that if you wanted to play so bad, he'd be happy to play with you! Ace was planning your funeral already.

And so, what was supposed to be a simple exercise of passing the ball became an impromptu game of dodgeball in which if you were hit, instead of being out you gained a concussion and a trip to the infirmary. Somehow, Ace and Jamil got roped into it as well, the three of you running around to avoid being hit by one of the deathly bullets Floyd threw at you. After noticing it, the club leader announced they could stop for a short break before picking out the teams for a game, in the hopes it would distract the eelmer enough to make him stop.

It worked, since the prospect of 'playing another game with shrimpy' made Floyd get excited to get you on his team. You sighed in relief, a bit out of breath. You and Ace sprawled yourselves at the floor to rest, not caring about how dirty it may be, your legs needed to lay down for a while. He turned his head at your direction and said it was your fault for having such bad aim. You replied with how it was his fault for being so bad at teaching you. You have a stare down that ends in both bursting into laughter.

Jamil and some other second year were the ones choosing the teams. He smiled mischievously, the same smile he had when he was planning something. Jamil could be the calmer one between your options, but that didn't mean he wouldn't cause trouble as well. In the end, you stayed on Jamil's team while Floyd and Ace were on the other. Floyd pouted and whined about how he had wanted to play in the same team as you and Ace seemed a bit miffed (you weren't sure if it was because he ended up against you or because he was with Floyd). Jamil had a very self satisfied smile on his face as he told you which formation your team would use. He sent a smug smirk to the others when you weren't looking.

You were wondering what kind of stunt Floyd would put to get what he wanted, but once the game started he just... didn't do anything. Jamil, on the other hand, was quick to catch the ball and take it to the other side of the court, dodging Ace's attempts at stopping him, jumping high and scoring some points. You were in awe, you had no idea Jamil was this good! As he went to your side with a self-satisfied expression in face, you showered him in compliments, saying how fast he ran and how high he jumped and how he looked really cool! While the smile stayed on his face, it seemed softer, and Jamil wouldn't look you in the eyes, murmuring something that you didn't catch about this being his strategy to win by having you on his side.

As the game went on you managed to get the hang of it, actually enjoying playing! Jamil and you made a great duo and Floyd was too desmotivated to try to win, so that only left Ace as your major obstacle. He'd often try to get the ball from your hands while making some sassy remarks and engaging in light hearted banter with you. Even when you weren't with the ball he stayed close to try to block you. It came to a point when you were going to try to score a point when he appeared in front of you, close enough that you wouldn't have time to dodge him. So, of course, you had to maneuver your way out, getting close to his face as you made sure to keep his hands away from the ball. His attention was solely on you, gaze unwavering as your noses almost touched and your breaths mingled. He was frozen in place and you took your chance, jumping as high as you could and dunking the ball on the net.

Your team cheered you on, a huge smile on your lips as you turned to see Ace's reaction. He was standing at the same spot, still looking at you. You winked playfully and blew him a kiss, rubbing your victory on his face, proud of your work. He blushed and crossed his arms, saying that you cheated by distracting him. His gaze remained on the lower half of you face. Before you could reply, Jamil whisked you away, congratulating you on your shot.

It was good your team got hyped up, but alongside it so did Floyd. He suddenly felt motivated to play against you and see you try to dodge around him like you did with Ace, since it seemed like lots of fun! (Which would not happen because have you seen his height?) It's not like you had a choice in the matter, anyway, since Floyd could easily take down any member of your team and go straight at you now that he felt like playing again. The last minutes were more like a game of tag between you two, Floyd giggling as he tried to catch you. You ran around the players, trying your best to make a complicated path to confuse him. 

You were actually having some fun, seeing Jamil get the ball from Floyd's hands to help you out and Ace try to get in your way to slow you down. Still, you were not used to that much exercise, your sore body becoming your own enemy as you got more sluggish, which in turn made you get more distracted. It was thanks to that you didn't notice Floyd until he was right beside you, ready to glomp you and squeeze as he trapped you in his arms. You'd blame it on your tiredness later, but as a last effort to get away from him you turned around abruptly, supporting your weight on your heel. Since you were worn out, you got dizzy quickly, tripping over your own feet and landing on the ground.

As soon as you felt sharp pain on your ankle you knew you were screwed, a whine coming out of your throat and tears welling in your eyes. Why must something like this always happen to you? The boys crowded over you, asking if you were okay or if you could stand up or if you wanted a hug to feel better. The answer was no to all of them.

In the end, you saw yourself staring at the infirmary ceiling once more, sweaty and tired, your ankle wrapped in bandages and propped up on the bed. Maybe you should stop going to sports clubs' pratices. Ace, Jamil and Floyd stood by your side, watching you to make sure you were alright, in their own ways. You felt a strong sense of deja vu, though you were grateful for them carrying you all the way up there (even if Floyd took the opportunity to squeeze you some). You could tell for sure that basketball wasn't for you. Time to check out other clubs.

(To lift the mood, Ace cracked a joke about how terrible you were at basketball and how you still had a long way to go before reaching his level. Jamil agreed, adding that pratice makes perfect. Floyd said he had much more fun with shrimpy around to keep him entertained. It wss pretty obvious they wanted to see you there again. The three of them looked at you with hope, even if Floyd's puppy eyes didn't work nearly as well as Ruggie's and Ace's and Jamil's tsundere act didn't fool you, you couldn't say no to them. You did have some fun as well, although next time you'll try to only watch and cheer on the sidelines, no need to be on the playing field and within squeezing distance.)

Track and Field Club (Deuce, Jack)

Despite your previous conviction, you decided to give the sports clubs one last chance. As this club didn't involve a game with complicated rules nor any magic, it seemed like the best choice. Positive thinking is key!

As soon as you steped foot into the field, Deuce and Jack came to great you, visibly happy to have you there! (They won't admit it to you, but they were a bit jealous that you had went to your other first year friends' clubs but not to theirs yet. They were determined to impress you.)

You tell them you're a little worried you won't be able to keep up with their pace, since Deuce has won prizes for his speed and Jack goes on morning jogs everyday. They reassure you that it's no problem, they'll help you the best they can!

The other members don't mind you much, letting your friends monopolize your attention. Jack asks if you've eaten and how has your diet been, you'll need some energy to run! Deuce asks if your uniform is comfortable and if the shoes fit in the right way, it's important to be able to move freely! They are very respectful and answer any question you might have patiently, which makes you feel welcomed. Maybe this time it won't be so bad!

To start pratice, the club leader tells all the members to run some laps. You notice you're pretty behind everyone else, but you're trying to not use all your energy at the warm up, so you don't mind. You take the chance to observe your friends running ahead of you, how the sun reflects on their skin, their shoulders going up and down, every step helping them gain speed. They looked really cool. This fills you with determination, promising to yourself to give it your best in this club.

After taking a break to drink water and stretching your muscles, you start the dynamics. It was a bit funny since you did them by basically moving in circles and changing the way you walk. Still, they were easier to accompany everyone than the laps. So far, so good!

Things start going downhill once you had to do the jumps. Everyone lined up, you staying at the last place, Jack and Deuce right in front of you. They explain that you should sprint, jump at the wooden board and land on the sand pit. Seems easy enough! 

It's not. On Jack's turn, he makes it looks effortless, even with his bigger built he manages to land with grace. You clap for him and he pretends to not notice, but his tail is wagging. On Deuce's, he catches speed quickly and jumps high, landing on his feet and turning to look at you. You cheer for him, a big smile in face as he rubs the back of his neck and thanks you with red cheeks. 

You try to copy their moviments, sprinting with a concentrated look on your face, focused on your destination. Unfortunately, you should have looked at the ground as well, since when it was time to jump you were just a tad too slow and tripped on the wooden plank, falling on the sand pit. You try again, this time focusing on where you're putting your feet, not missing the plank! However, you jump with too much force and doesn't land right, bouncing off the ground again before falling on your knees. You try one more time, jumping at the right place and not putting to much force. This time, though, your feet are not positioned the right way and you loose the strenght to support your weight, eating sand once more. You're going to blame this one on your recently sprained ankle and call it a day. (Thanks Floyd!)

After getting no luck on the long jump (and leaving with your hair full of sand), Jack and Deuce make sure you're ok. You reassure them that yes, your ankle is fine (for now), no, you didn't swallow sand (at least you're pretty sure you didn't) and yes, of course you want to keep going, it's going to take more than just that to deter you (you're a bit used to defeats). Finally, you start to train for the high jump. Especifically the landing, since if you fall the wrong way you could get seriously hurt. Please make sure you land right! Jack and Deuce will be watching closely, ready to help.

Everyone gets separated to go to different mats, some of the older students going straight to the jump. Your friends follow you, Deuce has a fist up as he talks excitedly about his progress on this jump. Jack listens by the side, nodding to some things or adding a comment on how he didn't jump quite that high, but it was an improvement anyway. They are like your personal coaches, instructing you to start by doing rollouts, than jumping and doing a rollout, then jumping higher and doing a rollout.

Once the basics are covered they join you, taking turns at running and flopping on their backs. It's fun, the way your body bounces of the mat and watching Jack and Deuce compete on who can flop harder. They add the bungee, which makes things more complicated since you had to reach a certain heigh to not get stuck on it, but it was a nice challenge. You did lose your shoe due to your feet getting caught in the bungee on the first try, though.

You were enjoying it, laughing along your friends! Until they added the bar. The bar changed everything. The height was a bit higher than it was with the bungee and it was nowhere near as soft. You watched, in awe, as Jack and Deuce flew just over lt and landed on a rollout. You were sure you'd get it too, after all, you did great on the other steps! You ran, turned around and used as much impulse as you could to jump. Instead of the soft embrace of the training mat, you were met with the metalic and hard feeling of the bar digging on your back as you landed right above it. Not even the mat could soften the blow, making you cry out, both in surprise and in pain. The sting was enough to have you wondering if you ever wanted to try this again in your life, the pain was not worth it.

Deuce was by your side instantly, bending down, asking if your back was ok and offering his hand to help you get up. Your hand clasps his, the force he used making your faces come very close to each other, noses touching, your breathless and flushed face right in front of his worried blue eyes. Said eyes widen as his face takes a red tone, he stutters apologies while backing away, hands covering his cheeks. Jack, who you hadn't notice coming close behind you, puts his hand on your shoulder, squeezing it comfortingly. He says you went well for a begginer and tells you how Deuce did the same thing on his first try. You giggle, putting one of your hands above his to show your appreciation. He quickly drops it and crosses his arms, saying the three of you better get going to the next exercise, eyes avoiding yours and conveniently looking at where the others on the field were gathering together.

There were obstacles scattered across the field, some closer than others. Deuce puffs out his chest and says it's time for the hurdle hops and that he'll show to you how it's done. You watch intently as he sprints and jumps at all the right times, not losing speed despite the things in his way. Jack follows him, a stoic look as he calculates just the right time to jump and cross every obstacle. It reminded you of when you'd watch race competitions back at home, how the runners looked as they crossed the finish line.

Filled with nostalgia, you try to replicate your memory, basing yourself on your friends' perfomances. You run and jump successfully on the first hurdle, feeling as if you're really improving! Though not for too long, since on the second hurdle you don't manage to jump high enough and just end up kicking it and falling on your butt. Oh well, you lasted longer than expected.

You refuse to back down, getting up and dusting yourself, ready to try again. Deuce and Jack support your enthusiasm, hyping you up on every try. It's a bit embarrassing to have them watching and commenting like this, but you feel warmth spreading through your chest and a smile blooming on your face. It's good to know people trust your ability to improve and do better, and you're not about to let them down!

There's one time you trip when you're near the hurdle and end up slipping under it. Another time you jump too close to it and almost full body slam it, falling on top of it. Your feet catches onto the edge of one of the hurdles and makes you fall. You end up knocking over one hurdle, keep running and then falling due to your lost momentum and equilibrium. You stay on the ground, defeated, your body screaming at you after so many falls. It wouldn't be so bad to give up, right? You really did try.

Deuce and Jack carry you to a bench and take care of you, Deuce handing you some water while Jack cleans the scratches you got from meeting the floor so much. They don't rub it in your face about your defeat (like a certain red haired first year would) and try to encourage you to keep trying. (They were pretty worried when you didn't get up though. They wanted to be one of the clubs that didn't make up you end on the infirmary.)

To end pratice, everyone would do a long run. The boys tell you can skip it, since you are already very tired, not used to this much exercising, chest heaving up and down and breath coming as short puffs of air. Jack says it'll do you no good to overwork your body and end up collapsing, Deuce backing him up. Still, you're stubborn, and you already did everything, you might as well go until the end. So you tell them you'll be just fine and agree to the run.

You keep Jack's words in mind, making sure to not overexerte it. Instead of holding a full on sprint you settle on a lighter jog, making sure your breaths are somewhat regulated. This makes you stay very behind the others but you don't mind, everyone has their own pace after all. Deuce and Jack were close to you, since they had very obviously slowed down significantly to keep you company, and you greatly appreciated that, flashing them a smile. Deuce offers a thumbs up and Jack nods his head.

There is a part where you trip and almost fall, but thankfully Deuce catches your arm and manages to keep you upright while still in movement. Though you two get extremely close again, your foreheads even knock on each other's. Deuce gets red faced again, instead of fumbling with his words he fumbles with his feet, tripping and taking you with him as his grip tightens on your arm.

Jack comes to the rescue and stays in the middle, still running prefectly even after having used so much energy during pratice. Guess the daily jogs do work. You look at his back muscles contracting, his shoulders moving, his tail helping him keep equilibrium, feet touchig the ground for a moment before they're gone. He seems to notice the eyes on his back as he looks over his shoulder, head tilting in confusion in such an endearing way you can't help but tell him what you were thinkin, about how cool he looks and how he must have trained so much for this! He looks taken a bit aback, ears twitching and tail wagging. So much so, in fact, that due to your closeness and his thick fur, it hits you, and due to your tiredness and the position it hits, you end up falling once again. You're not even mad, honestly. It was the nicest fall you've had so far.

Congrats, you manage to finish the run! Although you're drenched in sweat, hair sticking to your forehead and throat dry, you did it! But Deuce and Jack won't look you in the eye and keep blushing for some reason, you start to wonder if they're down with a fever at this point. Anyways, as soon as the run is over you throw youself (gently) on the ground, taking large gulps of air and spreading and stretching your limbs. 

All in all it was pretty fun, even if you did get some scratches and lost whatever little dignity you still had. But you found yourself all sweaty and sore again, not to mention that you didn't think that track was for you. You plan to check other non sport related clubs later, but first, you deserve a break.

(Jack's tail keeps wagging and Deuce's smile is glued to his face. They mentally high five each other for a job well done. They had made you feel welcomed! And you enjoyed yourself! Such a shame you're not entering the club yet... remember to not fall out ot pratice in order to build stamina. Jack can help you with that, going on jogs with you! And you were so good at the high jump, not to mention you were almost getting the hang of the hurdle hops, so maybe next time you try will be the time you make it! Deuce can help you if you need! It's very clear what they wanted, and since they did do their best it feels right to give them a little reward, so of course you agree to come to another pratice eventually. Their smiles give you the force to strengthen your resolve, as you bid goodbye to any possible dignity you had left.)

Masterlist

[kingconia]

DIASOMNIA BOYS WITH OLD-FASHIONED S/O, WHO WRITES AND SENDS THEM LETTERS, INSTEAD OF USING THE PHONE

Sebek Zigvolt.

— He is so confused. Malleus is bad at technics, too, but at least he knows what the fuck phone is;

— Sebek genuinely tries to teach you how to use the phone, but you are refusing to use it, and saying that you prefer writing letters for him;

— Okay, he finds it cute now, because your letters find him in an expected moments, as a big surprise, and he starts waiting for them on the daily basis;

— But he will not write you back. Sorry, it would take too much time, and he is a busy man. But! He keeps all of your letters, and marks down topics from them that he will discuss with you in personal meeting. He is attentive, of course.

•

”Ha,” Jack smirks, leaning closer to Sebek. ”Are you reading love letters again? You are so red, it is embarrassing.”

Sebek is, indeed, flushed. He always is, when he opens your envelopes—you tuck in it his favourite flowers, and write such a beautiful things, that he can't help but feel embarrassed.

’My dear Sebek,

I hope this letters finds you well, and with your undying energy that lightens my day refilled by simple meal, or, perhaps, even a nap. And, please, accept those hyacinths. They are for you, and only. I hope you like them as much as I like you.

Today, I only wished to tell you the story of my...’

”Shut it...” He murmur to his classmate, pressing letter to his chest shyly.

The flowers you sent him would be in his hair for the rest of the day.

And no one would dare comment on that.

Lilia Vanrouge.

— Well, Lilia is more modern despite his age, so he is a little bit surprised by your strange habits. Just as Sebek, asks you if he needs to teach you how use your phone, but when you refuse, he gets over it easily;

— Your letters offer him the strangest nostalgia of the past, and he can't say if likes them, or if they are bringing up not his most pleasant memories;

— Lilia, I think, would rarely write you back. Yet, he appreciates how much you think of him. He, too, would rather send you an invitation for the little lunch date;

— Lilia doesn't keep all of your letters, but the most important ones are always tucked in his room, in the very safe place.

•

”Ah,” Lilia blinks, surprised as he notices only now, that there is letter in the pocket of his coat. ”How do you...”

He sighs.

The main mystery, of course, is how you continue to sneak on him, leaving all these letters without Lilia, actually noticing it? He has an extra hearing and sight not for nothing! What is the secret?

”Oh, dear Y/n. Here you are.”

’My ethereal snowdrop,

how had you been? Tell me, if there is something bothering you? Your students, your son, headmaster Crowley? I hope it is not, but if anything touches your peace—tell me. I will try to take care of it in the best traditions.

But until now, I am here only to speak of my own troubles as I hope you want to listen... This morning, though, started uneventfully...’

Lilia stops in the middle of the corridor, and starts reading it with the greatest attention immediately.

He already plans to find you right after finishing reading that, and comfort you in his arms after the bad day you clearly had.

Silver Vanrouge.

— He is flattered by the fact that you decide to spend your time on writing to him all these letters, and he doesn't ask you to use phone: he accepts this strangeness easily;

— Whenever he has a short nap, he wakes up with a new letter on his lap, and it is the best part of his day, to be quite honest. He also kinda puts all of your letters on the walls of his room...

— Once he decides that he wants to return your sentiment as well, and so, he asks Lilia to teach him how to write letters in his very aloof manner as you do;

— He writes not so often, but he tries really hard to do that everyday. And eventually his slightly awkward attempts became better and better.

•

'Good evening, dear and well-respected Y/n!

I genuinely apologise for writing so late this time. If it wasn't for Sebek annoying trying to teach me how to take better care of Malleus, I would finish my duties quicker.

I think, there is nothing interesting for me to tell you about. My days are all the same and your letters the only thing that makes them slightly happier. I doubt you will find it that entertaining.

So, please, tell me about yours, instead.

With love, Silver.’

Malleus Draconia.

— Finally! Finally someone as old and inexperienced in technics as him!

— Jokes aside, but Malleus is really grateful for having another old soul around. He instantly agrees on constant letters exchange with you, and he also considers it to be courting;

— You write each other so often and so much, pouring your souls in these letters, obsessively opening up each other about everything and everyone, that others are almost worried;

— Just let these poor victorian kids to flirt in their own way!

•

’...My agonising salvation, Y/n,

your letter arrived just now, and reading your poems, made my heart flatter with so much easiness as if it was the butterfly wings, clapping against the air. I had never dreamed of the day, when I would be blessed by such a treatment, and yet...’

’Oh, the malady to all of my sufferings, Malleus,

though I sent you a letter in a while, as I am still waiting for yours to return to me, I can't help but send another one, just right after, since my soul cannot bear this happiness all alone...’

”All of these... Sounds unhealthy,” Sebek mutters, confused, as the three of them stare at the desk of Malleus that is now filled completely by many letters; some of them are yours, and others are drafts of his, rewritten and scrapped down. ”Should we do something?”

”Come on,” Silver groans. ”They are just in love.”

”How can you he so easygoing when it is Malleus-sama that—”

”I think,” Lilia interrupts another possible argument between these two, ”we should just leave them alone. They are happy as they are.”

And with that, they close the doors behind them slowly.

They shouldn't had seen these letters anyway...

[andsomemaniacgotridofthewheel]

I think "Bad Writing on Purpose" is a misnomer.

And people focus too much on it.

First of all, I really don't understand why people were surprised by the cliffhanger. Everyone was talking about how Neil said season 2 was going to be "quiet, gentle, and romantic" but nobody noticed that he also, on multiple occasions, wrote that season 2 was not the sequel he and Terry plotted, but what needed to happen to get the characters to where they needed to be at the start of what they plotted as the book sequel but would now be season 3. He was always completely open that season 2 was a bridge, and after reading it here and there before season 2 came out, I for one knew that season 2 would most likely end with a cliffhanger.

I mean, I surely didn't know we would get OFMD-ed, that was indeed a surprise, but I knew there would be a cliffhanger. Why didn't you?

Now I have read ariaste's famous 15 000 word essay. I find her theory quite brilliant. I don't think she will be (totally) right about it, it's too specific and too reliant on her assumption of how the Book of Life works. I also disagree with some of the details of what she calls "bad writing". Especially Maggie might just be portrayed as a dork neurodivergent. And some of her visual "clues" already turned out to be simple homages. (Not "The Crow Road", though, I think. Yes, Neil and Terry were friends with Ian Banks. But he has written like 40+ books, why choose THAT one, the one that deals in part with people solving a mystery by going through old documents, just after we are shown that Aziraphale keeps diaries and definitely leaves them in the bookshop when he's going to heaven? Even if we ascribe its first appearance to the famous opening line which Gabriel reads aloud, why show the same book a second time, mid-frame?)

Also, yes, I disliked that Aziraphale's & Crowley's new first meeting put them on the wrong foot with each other, when their meeting in Eden had established them as kinda instant co-conspirators from the very beginning. The same with Crowley in the Job episode being the one to introduce Aziraphale to worldly pleasures instead of him discovering them on his own. But that is sometimes what happens when you learn more about characters from new canon, sometimes it doesn't fit your established headcanon. You either roll with it or you choose to ignore that part of canon.

But I do think she is on the right track. And the most important thing that ariaste pointed out is still the missing/unsatisfying payoffs and the unfired Chekov's Guns, which I am pretty sure is the very reason this season felt so "off" for most of us and why ariastes theory found so much resonance. But I wouldn't call that Bad Writing. I would call that at most Weird Writing Choices. Especially if

you view the whole of season 2, the bridge season, the quiet gentle and romantic interlude, as one. giant. setup.

Having Aziraphale use his never-before-mentioned halo as a deus-ex-machina option to defeat the demons in his bookshop is a weird writing choice. Especially when we know we have a literal Chekov's - Derringer - Gun hidden somewhere in there, which is not being used. Mentioning the Book of Life several times and have it be of no consequence, Crowley even doubting that it really exists, is another unfired gun. The Nazi-Zombies, which are somehow left to their own devices and never mentioned again, could be a Chekhov's Gun - and I feel a lot better knowing now that yes, the living dead are apparently part (a sign?) of The Second Coming.

But it isn't bad writing. It is setting up season 3. It has always been about setting up season 3. We got a nice, little, quiet gentle and romantic, fan-fictionesque Ineffable Bureaucracy main plot to go with it, but that was never the raison d'etre for season 2. It's main purpose was always to set. up. season. three.

After all, most paraphrasings of "Chekov's Gun" speak of acts. If a gun is shown in act 1, it has to be fired in act 2. If a gun is shown in one act, it has to be fired the following. If we look at Good Omens as a 3-act-story, with one season being one act, then all the Chekov's Guns were shown to us in act 2, and are not required to go off until act 3 - meaning season 3.

All of you who dismiss this and go "no one ever wrote bad on purpose just to fix it in the next season, why not accept this season was just bad" are missing the point, because you fixate on the "bad writing on purpose" misnomer. It's not bad writing. It's delayed gratification. It's setting up a payoff over more than one season. Which you can absolutely do if you have a plan, if you know where your story is going. It is what everyone still seems to expect from J.J. Abrams, even though we should know better by now. His setups never pay off, because he sets up things he never intends to resolve, never even has an idea about how they could be resolved, and keeps getting away with it. And yet, the overwhelming presence of his shitty writing in media has probably screwed with our expectations from mystery shows, which thanks to him are not very high. But I truly believe that Neil Gaiman (and John Finnemore, a frickin' COMEDY writer, for whom the setup-payoff concept must actually be like breathing) are both simply better than that windbag. There will be a payoff. Only later.

I believe we will come back to the halo. Aziraphale's Derringer Gun will be fired. The Book of Life will have meaning, even if it is different from what we might theorize. The Zombies will at least be mentioned. And I think even the weirdly framed and then forgotten Eccles cakes will make another appearance. We will have an actual, big-stakes gen plot next season. Aziraphale & Crowley will be stopping another apocalypse. It will have to do with Crowley's "all of us against all of them" line from season 1. It will have Anathema & Newt (I remember one Tumblr ask before season 2 where Neil was asked if they would come back for season 2, and he answered no, but they would hopefully be in season 3), and I personally think they're gonna regret burning that second book from Agnes. Crowley & Aziraphale will not have much time to talk about their relationship or to feel sorry for themselves, as a lot of fans seem to expect. This will not be fan-service, this will not be fan-fictionesque. The bigger picture is the second apocalypse and once again saving humanity, and saving earth. Doing that, Crowley & Aziraphale will find common ground again, they will find each other again. They will end up in their shared cottage in the South Downs, openly in love, and everything will be ok. I don't know exactly how, and I don't want to speculate too much, because that almost always ends up with me being disappointed by how canon actually turns out.

But I believe in Neil Gaiman. I believe he cares. I believe he might even care more about "Good Omens" than about any other of his creations. And I believe in the Brilliance of John Finnemore. I don't believe that he would have let Neil get away with these setups without real payoffs if he didn't see the point of them.

(And if Amazon and their greedy CEO/shareholders are the reason we won't get a third season, you'll hear about me in the news, I swear. 😡)

[pinkaditty]

How will the TWST characters react to you having to leave? (Pt 1)

summary: Crowley had finally lived up to his promise. You were going to go home. All he needed was around a month to get the mirror set up for your return. Your eventual departure made each of the TWST boys turn into a ticking time bomb.

a/n: okay. so. i watched a tiktok today on my fyp. and i was inspired. i wrote this in hours and grappled with whether or not i should post it bc... well, i have a lot of requests piled up...! but, in the end i decided, why not? its my blog and ill do what i want with it. not to worry though, i am still working on your asks, i promise. i won't post part two of this (even though it's already written) until i've done at least 2 more asks, so no worries! i do see your requests, and i am working on them!

cw: creepy behavior (kinda), drugging, manipulation, and angst. i think that's all!! mc is mentioned but has no pronouns nor physical attributes mentioned.

minors... are actually allowed to interact with this post specifically. i don't mind it this time. NOT THE REST OF MY BLOG THOUGH. MINORS THAT INTERACT WITH MY NSFW POSTS WILL BE BLOCKED. thanks!

HEARTSLABYUL:

Ace:

He really has a hard time with it. Like, a really, really hard time. Once news reaches him, he almost can’t handle it. The anxiety that the thoughts of your departure cause will eat him alive. It will eventually get so bad that it prevents him from living in the moment, or enjoying his time around you. He falls into a depression, losing motivation to go on, keep living, or keep having fun. The wind has been taken from his sails. His grades slip as the weeks pass, but he can’t be bothered to care. He won’t show up anywhere unless it’s where you are. Despite his inability to enjoy anything anymore, he still spends time with you because, somewhere in him, he hopes you will be too attached to leave. He won’t do anything to damage, destroy, or hide the mirror, but when it comes down to it, he will plead with you not to leave right in front of the mirror on the day you are to go. He will also look the other way, should it end up mysteriously disappearing or broken. He refuses to be the culprit, but he will do everything in his power to make you stay, so long as it’s within the rules. Even begging. Please don’t go. You’re not all he has, but you’re all he wants. Please don’t leave him. 

Deuce: 

Recognizes the importance of family and knows what it’s like to disappoint them or be separated from them. He doesn’t want that for you. But at the same time, he considers you family. The real question is whether he will put himself and his feelings for you first, or if he’ll put you and your feelings first. He grapples with this a lot. He’s not selfish, and has no desire to be, but he found himself wanting to be selfish with you. He wants to keep you around, at least for a little while longer. A month is not enough. Whenever he passes by the summoning room, and sees that dreaded mirror, a rage awakens in him. The urge to return to his old ways burns within him, and for a moment, he can see himself punching the mirror, shattering it to pieces, forever ruining the chance you have to return home. But then he imagines the despair you will feel, and he is left with an empty hole in his heart. Should that mirror end up missing or broken, he will do everything he can to help fix it or find it. He knows he must let you go, and he will, but he will not be happy about it. He will clench his fists and mumble goodbye and try to act like it is all right. It is not. It is not alright. 

Riddle: 

He also recognizes the importance of family, but to a lesser degree. Rather values friendship and found family more, which is what spurs his desire to keep you around. You were a part of his found family, the one he desires to keep. Sure, he had to get used to having you around, but you had grown on him a lot. Far more than he wished to admit. His heart breaks at the news. What was he going to do? He’s uptight. Can’t bring himself to break nor bend the rules, so he won’t. Instead he puts on a mask and slightly distances himself. He acts pleased for you, happy that you have a way to return home, at last. The thought of sabotaging you doesn’t even cross his mind, but should he find out you have been, he will help you. He knows what is best. Come the dreaded day, when he watches you walk away, his heart will crumble. He will spill enough tears to create a river. He will not beg you to stay. He will not convince you. He will not do anything to prevent you from going. But he will cling to the sleeves of his ceremonial robes and bawl quietly. Why did his found family have to leave him all over again?

Trey:

His heart just sort of… sinks. It doesn’t hit him immediately, the despair of you leaving, but it approaches. When he finds himself baking sweets, and thinks of you, it hits him. When he finds himself scoring well in class, and thinks of you, it hits him. When he’s hanging in the Heartslabyul common room, and thinks of you, it hits him. It hits him over and over and over again until he can’t do a single thing without somehow connecting it to you and thinking about your eventual departure. He starts to spiral internally, despite usually keeping a cool head. Just the thought of you leaving will have him grip his pen so hard it snaps, pouring far too much sugar into his sweets and staring down at the ruined mixture, staring up at the ceiling of his dorm at night wondering how time continues to pass. He’s so far gone, so out of it, yet no one else seems to notice because they’re all so wrapped up in their own heads. He won’t beg, he won’t cry, he won’t plead, he won’t break anything, so long as it’s someone else breaking the mirror. But if you leave, the blood may rush to his head and he may find himself fainting, the shock of it all finally reaching him. Is this what loss is? What it feels like?

Cater:

No. Oh god, no. Immediately his spiral starts. He already knew he shouldn’t have become attached to you, knowing that you would have to leave. But the longer you stayed, the more he opened up to you. And the more he opened up to you, the more he liked you. You were Ramshackle dorm’s Prefect, or more like “perfect” if you asked him. There was something so fitting about you to him, and having someone leave all over again… At this point, he should be used to it. But he’s not. He never will be. He knew opening up was a bad idea, he knew indulging himself in this friendship would lead to nothing but despair, he knew, he knew, he knew. The guilt and anger at betraying himself and the building feelings he harbored for you eat him alive at night, and haunt him during the day. However, should that mirror end up broken, he won’t exactly do anything about it. If it doesn’t break, of course, he puts on a brave face, acts like everything’s normal, but he’s so far in his own head he doesn’t even realize how clingy and attached he’s become. He will act normal to the end, even wave a final goodbye as you leave, and will return to Heartslabyul like nothing’s happened. When he’s alone, the tears come. He cries harder than he’s ever cried before. Everything’s back to normal, but now he realizes he never wants normal ever again. Every day, he misses your chaos. Why can’t you come back to him? You were perfect, not normal.

SAVANACLAW:

Leona:

To hell with rules. This herbivore may not have been his favorite at first, but it’s not quite like he can imagine a life without them now. Instead of fear or sadness, he feels anger and entitlement. He should be getting what he wants. He’s a prince, for seven’s sakes. He may not be any type of inherent heir, but he had his rights, and the way he saw it, that also gave him the ability to do whatever he pleased. It’s not like you even spoke about your past a lot anyway, or the world you came from. It didn’t matter more than him and his need to have you nearby. Nothing mattered more than that. He soon hatches a plan to try and destroy that mirror; either through breaking it with his fists or turning it to sand, he would do it, and he wouldn’t care if you knew it was him. As long as you were here, by his side. If all else fails, he will prevent you from even approaching that mirror. He won’t kidnap you, he’s not crazy, but he might just block your way or try to convince you to reconsider. If you remain hard-set, he may become angry, but the more stubborn you are, the more the despair will finally grip him. He may even break down and beg, hoping that the humility of a prince will force you to feel guilt and regret. He could never have cared for an herbivore this much, but it was you. He can’t let you go. And if you really do leave, he won’t sleep at all for weeks.

Ruggie:

Will 100% act nonchalant about it, but on the inside he’s freaking out. He immediately goes into hyperdrive, and will do anything and everything to get you off his mind. He studies until his mind melts, stays after classes for extra tutoring, idles in the cafeteria, hangs out with friends, and whatever else he can possibly think of doing that means he gets to avoid you and the thought of you leaving. May even go as far as starving himself so he can think of food and water instead of you. Of course, this all fails because no matter how much he denies you, he still sees you. He still knows you’re around. He caves at long last when he cannot ignore your presence any longer. He goes to see you all the time, to make up for time lost. Every minute he can spare, he’s with you. Doesn’t think of breaking the mirror, but won’t stop Leona if he tries. He’ll look the other way, because just as badly as you may want to go home… he wants you to be here with them. If you do end up leaving, his heart will be empty as he watches you go. He won’t so much as hug you, but wave a weak goodbye and wish you well. He crumples in the time that follows and is a hollow shell of who he once was. It could’ve been different. You could’ve stayed.

Jack:

He’s an upstanding character. He has a moral compass and knows what is best. He is also stubborn and hard to sway. That said, every single day of the month that leads up to your departure, he finds himself standing in front of that mirror for some time, contemplating. He could break it. Technically, he could. He could just punch it and no one would be able to pin it directly on him, at least not immediately. That way, you would be here. You would have to stay. It may not be the best outcome for you, but he could be a shoulder to rely on. However, he shakes his head to rid himself of such thoughts and ends up scampering away from the mirror, lest his thoughts get the best of him. Every time he lays down in bed, he tries to resist it, but then he finds he can’t sleep. So he creeps around to the summoning room, looks that mirror head on, and battles with himself. In the end, he does not break it. He has a hard time not doing it, but in the end, he knows what’s best. He will inevitably run into someone attempting to sabotage you, but he will be far too caught up deciding what to do to stop them. He will inevitably fail to stop a sabotage, but the guilt will claw at him, and he will do all he can do to help. Should you go, he will feel happy that you are returning home, but squeeze you very tight for a little longer than usual. The tears will come when he is alone, contemplating on that mirror, staring at his fists and imagining if they were bloody and stuck with glass. What would have changed?

OCTAVINELLE: 

Azul:

Is as cool as ever externally, but freaking out internally. He tries to play it off to himself as being concerned about outstanding debts, or bemoaning about less free labor, or even worrying about what will happen to Ramshackle if he can’t get his hands on it when no one but Grim resides in it? Oh, the horror…! Or, so he tries to say. In reality, he actually can’t stand to see you go. Sure, it hadn’t been very long, but you’d been through quite a lot together, and you had become quite reliable. It was nice having someone he could depend on, trust in, and enjoy one another’s company without the looming threat of becoming disinteresting, like Jade and Floyd. He’d actually come to like you. Perhaps more than that. Before long, he stops moping and starts thinking of ways to get you to stay. He even enlists Jade and Floyd’s help, fully aware they already have their own tactics in mind. He doesn’t care what works, he just hopes something will. He scribbles up contracts, some that would be appealing to you, and give you more benefits than him, but in small fine print reads: “Upon signing this contract, the signer agrees to remain in Twisted Wonderland for as long as the contractor sees fit.” He makes so many that you feel guilty turning him down. It gets to the point where he is begging and pleading with you not to go through that mirror. Not to leave them all behind. If it all fails, he collapses as he watches you go. He returns to his office and rips those contracts to shreds. It was all for naught. All for naught. For the first time in his life, he feels as though he’s drowning.

Jade:

Oh, he cannot let this happen. He cannot simply let you leave. Not when he’s grown so fond of you! He’s not letting you leave him behind. He puts on a brave face, as though he’s self-assured, but in truth, he’s shattered. He feels hopeless. Of course he knew you had a home, but he did not expect you to leave, so soon, and so quickly. Maybe he didn’t want you to leave at all. No matter though, this could be fixed. When Azul entrusts him and Floyd with similar tasks, he can tell that Azul is just as desperate to keep you here. They work mostly independent, but as long as something works, none of them mind which one’s plan did the trick. Jade uses his signature spell on you to pry the truth from you. When he finds that even the smallest part of you does want to return, he finds himself sinking. He must stop this, he has to. A twisted idea is born and soon enacted on the day of, when he encourages you to have a final meal he’s prepared. When you finally collapse, he takes great care to ensure that you won’t make it. But, should you be found and carried to the summoning room, assuming you are in a deep sleep, it will have failed. No surprise will show on his face, and when you finally wake to leave, he will nod and smile, wishing you well. His hands are curled into fists and he is boiling with anger. His room will soon be trashed and he will be shaking with rage. This could have changed. It could have all changed.

Floyd:

Little Shrimpy? Leaving him behind? No way! He’s already pouty about this, but somehow he is assured that you won’t leave. As though he trusts that whatever plan he puts into action specifically will stop you. This is why he is the only one seemingly totally carefree. For everyone else, the stress shows somewhere: in their eyes, in their expressions, in their hands, in their jaw, in their movements, in their behaviors… somewhere. But for Floyd, it just can’t be found. He is 100% carefree and confident that you won’t leave him behind. He intends to make sure of that, no matter what he must do. Of course, he does pout for show around you, complaining about how you have to leave, and might even blubber about it to earn your sympathy. When Azul puts him and Jade up the task of making you stay, he’s elated because he already has the ball rolling. You have to stay - no ifs, ands, or buts about it! And he does his best to convince you. He earns your guilt and remorse in every way he can, even popping up at the most inconvenient times to hang out so you can turn him down and he can pretend to feel bad about it. He lets the guilt fester in your heart, playing the long game. At last, when he’s certain he has you under his thumb, he waits until the day you are to leave. As you are stepping towards the mirror, he grabs your arm, looking at you with false pleading eyes, and begs you to stay. He watches the turmoil boil in your eyes, and almost feels that he has won. But if you ultimately tell him you have to go, he will go blank. His face will lose all emotion, and he will let go. In the coldest voice ever, he will murmur his goodbyes. And some time later, when he’s swimming through the cold, deep sea to get his mind off of everything, he will wish he didn’t have gills. He will wish he couldn’t breathe. He will wish he could drown.

a/n: wowie this was soooooo much fun!!! i totes forgot how much i ADORE writing angst ouuuugghhh!!! best thing ever awaaaaaa!! anyways, i hope you all enjoyed! leave a like, comment, or just reblog if you liked it!! please tell me how much you enjoyed it, i love catering to you all! shameless bit that i do adore asks just as well, so if you come up with a request, my asks are open! thank you!

[azulsluver]

I'm assuming this was already talked about/mentioned in your posts but I do kinda wonder how awful it would be for reader during holidays and general breaks from school (bully au). Like- They would either be COMPLETELY isolated since they can't technically go home since this ain't even their world and everyone hates them, or they would have to deal with their bullies every. Single. Day. Which is hilarious to me because I can see at least some of them staying even though they were supposed to go home and rest and enjoy their break from school, so prefect just asks "Why are you even here tormenting me bro?! Don't you have a family" and the bullies have to come up with excuses to save their egos

I sometimes do go in depth detail on where reader lives within twisted wonderland because I tend to stray near canon lore. Options are that they completely have ramshackle as their home or Crowley in the kindness of his heart buys a place for them within the island (it’s close to the school just in the woods hidden deep)

tw: yandere, bully!characters, mentions of bruises/blood and vomit, force feeding/throwing up, unhealthy relationships, stalking.

(College setting)- there are other students that are staying during breaks but let’s be real no one’s gonna help you

The only major holiday that has the NRC students leaving was winter break, spring and summer. Here’s my take on each. Not proof read btw!

Winter: Azul, Jade And Floyd

No surprise to canon, but their excuse to stay during break is nightmare fuel for you. You can’t run away because that only peruse Floyd and Jade to chase you down. Azul pretends to not see the abuse you’re going through. In fact he feels less occupied when the twins set their eyes on you. There is no best scenario because you should be used to Floyd coming into your room at random times.

Quote on quote, “best break ever” is exaggerated greatly whenever Floyd gets his hands on you. You’re wheezing like a dying fish as he asks you if you’re ok. Knowing it’ll piss you off but you’re on the verge of death so it pisses you off even more.

I think staying with Floyd is the better option but it REALLY depends, Jade gets a little quirky at night. Waking up on a table and strapped as he gives you shot after shit of who knows what into your system. Pretty unhinged as it’s in the dead of night and it’s freezing cold. More stoic when performing these things. Jade never gets the chance or time to do this to you so that’s off his bucket list.

Azul stuffs himself in his room all day. Only going out for a jog as he looks the other way as you’re being dragged off while clawing on the floor. It’s too early for that okz. But he’s gonna tire from your screaming and crying so he grudgingly let’s you stay in his room whenever the twins are out to hunt you down.

That’s only if you are being too much of a nuisance to him^^

Because you’re involved in the subject of his problems he gets more snappy with the twins when they try to barge into his room. Lecturing them and often times loudly making deals to lend you to them because you’re so much work. He doesn’t tho. Like a father who never wanted a dog, he tends to your needs with a sneer and turn. Does this mean you’re staying in his room the whole break? Yes. Can you try to leave? Yes. Will Azul call you ungrateful and manipulate you that the twins will bother you again. Yes.

Slumber party!!! Floyd’s idea btw. Victim of every losers downfall, getting slapped and punched whenever Floyd loses a board game. Hands nearly breaking because Jade is too cool to show anger so he takes it out on you as a joke. Azul winning said games.

Floyd WILL suffocate you in your sleep on purpose. Slumber parties with him are never a good idea because any chance to scare you he takes it. Going to the bathroom? What a coincidence he’s awake and on the side of the wall behind the door you’re leaving. Waking up? He’s staring deep into your soul just so you can cry and roll away.

Wanna talk about you staying in Azul’s room because he lets you sleep on his bed (wow omg luxury bed knocked out ZZZzzz) because he’s doing work on his desk. Often times you wake up to him sleeping on his desk. Give it a week in the break and he’s all over you. His arms in a crushing grip as he holds you in sleep, you feel like it’s forbidden to move because you’re scared he might squeeze harder than Floyd.

This only happened ONCE. Sleeps on the floor and makes dumb excuses like “humans have such odd body temperature it was like an instinct to cuddle something cold.” Or “I hold things a lot when I’m in my merform this is nothing personal.”

Spring: Ace, Epel, Ruggie

Ace and Epel straight up tell you they’re here to have a great spring break together. By that they mean messing with you. These assholes start off slow, egging your dorm, blasting loud music. Anything to get your fatigue up, that way you can start messing things up on accident when it was all purposely set.

The duo are relentlessly pursuing their harassment from day to night, until in a couple of days within the break do things stop. It’s terrifying, walking on eggshells at how they ignore you during walks, opening the door for you, heck even Epel left a basket of apples on your front door. It’s leaving you paranoid and they know it, with their innocent going smiles and tilted heads. You wish you had some form of power to get those two without getting 2v1.

Alright this is where Ruggie comes in the picture. He’s there not by choice, instead paid by Leona to watch over you since Ace has a big mouth about his plans with you.

Ruggie randomly shows up in your dorm. He’s not doing much except making sure you’re eating and not brutally beaten near death. But you can find him grudgingly cleaning the place out of boredom, catching him dusting off shelves after your success in escaping the two. He threatens you out of embarrassment to not think much of it…he just thinks you’re really dirty to leave in such an unkept place.

He does at time chase Ace and Epel off, they don’t seem to bother you much when you’re with him. So you took this to advantage to stick to him like candy. You’ve only had this type of protection with Jack, on the other hand was much more comfortable to hang around with besides the deadpan stares.

Your safe haven can only be kept for so long, once money is involved. Ruggie is counting the wad of cash by the side as the two nudge your head with their foot. Ace blames you for making the last three days of their break boring, you should’ve known better than to run off when things were getting good. Didn’t you know good pal Epel prepared some fine treats for you? (Don’t eat them).

It’s no use crying for help, Ruggie can only shrug his shoulders and tell the two not to kill you before walking away. Your last bits of hope destroyed as Epel smacks the back of your head a couple of times, saying you must be brain dead so they’ll help you out. You’re really starting to miss Jack, as apple slices are being shoved into your mouth, Ace repeatedly thrusting three fingers down your throat to making you vomit. You’re delirious when hung upside down from a tree, the two taking turns hitting you blindfolded with a bat, luckily it’s wooden but the pain still blows.

You’ll be ruffled up with a pat in the head as Ace blows smoke in your face, telling you that you did good. Epel is more enthusiastic after all that, pinching at your blood socked nose to stop the bleeding. The two are joyous and leave by throwing a couple of dollars your way. Just looking at it makes you sick as you sob on the floor, seeing Ruggies shoes.

Sobbing on the way home with Ruggie by your side, staring off into the distance whilst ignoring your loud wails. You know it annoys him but he doesn’t say anything until the door closes, he’s lazily patching up your open wounds and dabbing them with a clean cloth. Giving you medicine—if you refuse to take them he will force you. You can only conceal your sniffles by rubbing your eyes and blowing your nose with tissue. Ruggie has his back turned as he tells you to do better. If you keep it up you’ll die sooner or later at this rate. So take it as a lesson to build character.

You can’t help but agree, maybe it was the medicine taking place. But you gruffly settle down with him, he’s sitting besides you with a empty look on his face. You cant tell why he’s staring at your beaten body like some interesting figure but you preferred it like this. Dropping your head on his shoulder as you rest, because you know he’s gonna let it happen all over again.

Might as well take his advice.

Summer: Sebek, Silver, Malleus, Lilia

This was all Malleus. His idea 100%. He’d rather not spend his break staying in his enclosure with running maids and fearing fae. Instead he’d prefer is the one fearing was coming from you. And since Malleus had decided to spend his break by bothering you Silver and Sebek have no choice but to come along.

Sebek is absolutely furious once he finds out the reason Malleus wanted to stay in campus was to see you. You! Out of everyone!!! There are times where Malleus must leave campus to attend his princely duties, leaving Sebek having the opportunity to get his hands on you. By that he’s choking the shit outta you until you’re blue. He doesn’t wanna be here with YOU, now he’s stuck babysitting you. Thankfully Silver is there to prevent Sebek from successfully killing you.

You cling onto Silver like he’s your last hope. He can only do so much when Sebek is frothing at the mouth because he has the “audacity” to step in the punishments that are so rightfully placed on you. Like come on man what would Malleus think?

Malleus is into it. Tells Silver that if you ever step out of line it’s only right for him to put you back in place, physically. Silver can only stand back with a frown, not too much to displease Malleus.

Lilia comes in later, he’s wondering where his sons went. He comes at a weird timing, you’re being examined because Malleus is interested in all the marks you’ve received. It’s amazing how you’re still alive, with a kind of your own as well. Lilia won’t do much rather than spectate Malleus’s adventures with you, rather than indulging in his desires he stands by the side to make sure Malleus nor Sebek won’t go too far. They may not listen to Silver but they certainly will to him.

If you want to be left COMPLETELY alone it can only be at night with curtains over your windows. Forbid the many times you’ve shit your pants in the middle of the night to see Malleus looming over your window. Be it sleeping or walking to the kitchen he’s dead staring. For some good reason he doesn’t throw much of a fit when you use the curtains to hide from his prying eyes.

You might think Lilia is off the hook of finally leaving you alone then you’re dead wrong! Standing by the side, yea more like giving more advice to Malleus and Sebek on how to properly punish you. Back in his days punishments were something else, since you’re human they gotta go on the low. So if Lilia felt like it he can just tell them some unique and grotesque ways to get you drooling and screaming like some pig.

Silver will be there after they’re done, being told to get you cleaned up and ready for the next trick. You really don’t wanna know, but you’re silent during your healing process, he feels bad yet doesn’t voice his opinions on it.

Oh and they almost carved a sick tattoo of dragon wings on your back but Sebek suggested that he use his sword to do it and you passed out from the thought. Not your first rodeo but you know damn well none of them will be putting you on meds during the whole thing.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Cater, Ruggie: The Secret in a Smile

Caycay, bestie… I am so sorry that SSR Crowley stole your spotlight 😭 (Is that why Cater looks so Mean Girls in his groovy... He's seeking petty revenge against Crowley/j)

Some cute stuff from the vignettes that I wasn't able to include in this fic: Cater makes a reference to TsumTsums! He mentions being into this mobile game with cute round creatures. Cater also tells a story about a 5-year old girl giving him a flower after his club's performance at a cultural festival (omg, do they mean the one in book 5?!). Ruggie teases him and says Cater must have been that little girl's first crush 😂

A Tale as Old as Time.

“Ne, ne, Ruggie-kun! Check this one out~ It's all the way from the Queendom of Roses!"

Cater jabbed a thumb at a painting of a young blonde girl dressed in a modest sky blue frock and apron, a small black bow in her hair. She couldn’t have been older than 10 years of age, still petite enough to squish inside a glass bottle with a narrow neck. The bottled child was adrift in a sudsy sea, her face frozen in an expression of slight worry.

Ruggie took one look at the artwork, then wrinkled his nose. “Sure sucks to be in her shoes. What’s this even supposed to show us, anyway? Doesn’t make a whole lotta sense to me.”

"Not a lot from the Queendom does if you aren't already familiar with its topsy-turvy stories~" Cater placed a hand on his hip and leaned forward, grinning. "This one is pretty popular! It's about a girl that wants an audience with the Queen of Hearts. She gets lost on the journey there, meets strange people and experiences even stranger things on the way. This is just one leg of that trip!"

"Wouldn’t the castle be further inland? How'd she end up in the middle of the ocean?"

“It’s about the perspective of the shot.” Cater formed a frame with his hands, catching his underclassman in it. He pulled back, creating the illusion of sizing Ruggie down. “She drank this bottled liquid she found and that shrank her down—so really, the ocean isn’t that big.”

A grimace.

“Man, talk about no sense of self preservation. She just chugged an unlabeled bottle without a second thought. Must’ve been real desperate.” Ruggie paused. “Weeeell, not like I’m one to talk about being desperate. You really can’t afford to be picky sometimes. If it fills your stomach, it fills your stomach.”

“You’d drink it too, huh… I don’t think I could do that. I’d at least want to see how the menu describes it before I order—though I guess it also depends on how ‘cammable the drink is! And hey, think about all the cool pics I could grab from a worm's eye point of view!”

"Heh, you don't seem too pressed about living life as an ant."

"Cay-kun likes to look on the bright side of things!" he declared with a wink and a peace sign. "The lost girl... she worried so much about finding her destination, she forgets to stop and smell the roses. She overlooks a lot of the fun people she could have spent time with."

Hopping from place to place, missed people—familiar elements, resurfacing a childhood of being uprooted and dragged about. Never to fully settle.

A tea party here, a brief convo there. Just enough to keep him placated, but not enough to see beyond the surface of the looking glass.

His curiosity still left wanting.

She got into so much trouble, but didn't have any real friends to come and help her.

Sadness tugged at his heartstrings, but Cater's smile didn’t waver.

"... I can’t help but kinda pity the poor thing," he said quietly. Then, brightening in the next moment, "All her issues could've been avoided if she just looked before she leapt and made some connections."

“Yeah, she definitely should’ve played smarter, not harder. Maybe if she kissed up to the locals, they’d have come to her rescue." Ruggie shrugged. "It works for me and Leona-san."

“Right? A smile goes a long way to getting what you want!” Cater poked the corners of his mouth. “You totes get me.”

“Cuz it takes a trickster to know another one on sight.”

"Wow, it sounds so mean when you put it like that. We're not tricksters, we just know how to use our smiles to problem-solve~"

"Giving a word a fresh coat of paint doesn't make it any less shady. At least be honest with yourself," the hyena smirked.

“Eeeh, I’m always honest!”

They shared a laugh—Ruggie, a snicker. Cater, lighter, more bubbly, like a carbonated mystery drink. When the effervescence died down, he cast another glance at the painting.

Too big for her small world of the sea, too small for the big world that loomed beyond it. Trapped within glass walls. Curled into herself in her delicate chambers.

Her perspective and his, one and the same.

Poor thing, poor thing, poor thing.

Cater summoned his strength and bore the full brunt of his smile.

“I’m sure she’ll find what she’s looking for… one day.”

[bunni-v1]

First Years Finding Out Your A Girl?!?! (NOT CLICKBAIT!!!)

TW: Mild swearing, STRICTLY Female Reader, Discussion of Jack having a good sniffer (lol)

Info: Headcannons; Ace, Deuce, Jack, and Epel x Reader (platonic); Mostly for fun

🍓Hi. I'm back... sorta. I didn't have much time to write over the summer, and I honestly don't know how much I can write during school cause my schedule is... yikes. But I picked up something I wrote a while ago, edited it, and decided to post it. I'll be answering whatever's in my ask box right now, and then maybe work on some other stuff.

Ortho & Sebek

Second Years

Third Years

Dorm Leaders

-Okay so, I know we’re all wondering, how the hell do you get away with hiding your gender for so damn long?

-Firstly, those ceremonial robes do great at hiding the figure. The only tell would maybe be your hair, but feminine men aren’t unwelcome at Nightraven College, so you mostly get a few questioning stares and that’s it.

-Secondly, Crowley wants to save his own fucking ass. He already has to hide from the press that he has a MAGICLESS student from ANOTHER DIMENSION here, he doesn’t need the fact that you are a woman ALSO on his plate. So, obviously, he helps you hide your gender from others.

-Grim knows, of course, and he keeps his mouth shut for a few yummy cans of tuna (and threats of being expelled from Crowley <3)

-Even when you were just a janitor, he couldn’t have the rumor that he put a “helpless” young woman to work. (Like it wouldn’t be expected.)

-So how do you two do it?

-Baggy ass uniform. Crowley gave you at least three sizes too big.

-Your figure is completely hidden. Sure, you look completely homeless, but at least you’re hidden.

-For your voice, you simply deepen it. After some point, you blackmail Crowley into giving you a potion to help with it, since it's so taxing on your voice. (Or maybe your voice is naturally deep!)

-Sam provides you (for an unfairly pretty penny (not too different from your original world…)) any feminine hygiene products you might need.

-Honestly, you’re set for being cared for, but it’s the adjustment period that’s the hardest part. 

-Truly, it’s very jarring to suddenly be thrown into both a magical world and be isolated in a man's world with nowhere to hide.

-At least in your world you had other women who could understand your struggles. Here though? You’re completely alone.

-You notice how… messy some of these guys could be. How some of them smell… really rancid. -How rough they were with you and each other.

-Honestly, it’s kinda eye-opening. The way men show affection to each other is oddly refreshing to watch and experience!

-Ace and Deuce specifically are a good… trial run.

-That’s not what we’re here to talk about though…

-For the most part, it's incredibly easy to hide yourself for the first while on campus. Everyone on campus is so self-absorbed that they don’t bother questioning you.

-Your only real risk factor is Savannaclaw, but it's easy to avoid those guys (minus Jack, of course, but we’ll get to him).

-However, you can only hide your gender for so long… It’s mentally draining to keep up this facade all the time around people you care about.

-So… how do they find out?

FIRST-YEAR SQUAD

Ace

-He’s one of the first ones who find it out, and it’s in the very cliche anime way.

-After some point of knowing you, Ace is so comfortable that he just invites himself into ramshackle. 

-It’s never been an issue or anything. You’re thick as thieves now, you’ve survived death together a handful of times. If you ask Ace, that’s about as close as you can get with someone.

-Normally, you and Grim are just sitting around in the living area, but this time you aren’t. However, he does hear voices coming from your room. His curiosity is peaked.

-So, slippery guy that he is, he sneaks up to your room and his curiosity only grows when he hears a woman’s voice. Prefect getting lucky? And he didn’t tell him? Ace thought you guys were friends.

-He creeps up to your room, slides open your door, and!!! Holy shit it’s you. It’s you in a towel. It’s you and you’ve got tits?!?! 

-His first reaction is to… well… scream.

-“You’re a girl?!?”

“Why are you in my room???”

“You’ve got- boobs!”

 “Get out Ace!”

-Bro sits very politely and very quietly on your couch after that. Deep behind his blank stare, he is seething. You were a girl this whole time, and you didn’t tell him! He thought you guys were friends!

-He definitely fights you about it once you’re down and dressed. He’s just salty, he’ll get over it. 

-Swears up and down he won’t tell anyone.

-Immediately tells Deuce.

-That's it though! Deuce is part of the main quartet, he deserves to know! (You scold him for this too, but you figured it would happen one way or another).

-From him finding out, he doesn’t really treat you differently. You’re still a person, why should he act differently cause you’ve got different body parts than him.

-Though, and he won’t admit this, he’s a bit more… watchful of the others around you. Yeah, you can hold your own and he respects you… but guys like Azul exist, and he’s seen firsthand the torture Azul is capable of. 

Deuce

-As stated before, Ace outs you to Deuce almost immediately after finding out.

-Deuce, in all his awkward glory, completely shuts down. Disconnects from this plane of existence. He cannot believe the news he was just told.

-You, one of his best friends in all of twisted wonderland. You, the person who survived multiple overblots alongside him. You, who have seen him at his most vulnerable… are a girl.

-It isn’t even the fact that you’re a girl, it’s the fact that you kept this a secret from him for so long. You guys are… bros… how could you possibly hide something so important from him. Did you not trust him?

-Yeah… he overthinks things quite a bit.

-He also ambushes you the very next day with a million questions (very loudly (very in public)), to which you calm him down and reassure him that “No, Deuce, I don’t suddenly hate you. I wasn’t hiding it from you maliciously. I was going to tell you at some point, I just hadn’t had a good time to.”

-Deuce’s behavior definitely… changes… in some ways. 

-Deep down he knows you’re a kick-ass bitch and you don’t need to be cared for, but he can’t help but want to. 

-It’s definitely his mommy issues in play here.

-He just becomes more… protective and aware around you. Not in a creepy obsessive way, just in the same way a guard dog would. 

-Like Ace, he’s more than aware of what the people on this campus are capable of, and you’re completely magicless on top of being more feminine. Some guys at NRC would hop on an opportunity like that like nothing.

-He just doesn’t want to see his friends getting hurt okay :(

-It’s like you gained an overprotective older brother who also sometimes barks!

Jack

-Out of everyone, Jack was the first to find out.

-I don’t wanna be the cliche writer but… he’s got a sniffer on him. 

-He definitely could smell that something was up, but he didn’t want to assume! 

-You could be trans, you could be genderfluid, you could be anything other than a woman! It’s not his place to judge, and smell isn’t always the end all be all. You could just really smell feminine and that's how guys come in your world.

-Mr. Respectful would never want to assume anything… but he’s a little curious he won’t lie.

-Jack REALLY found out shortly after Ace, Deuce and Grim got their asses in trouble with Azul. 

-He’d never been given a reason to spend any more than a few minutes around you at a time. However, since he got pulled into this mess, he’s spent a lot more time with you.

-It happened when he was forced to hide under the desk in his office.

-You were so close and you just… smelled like a girl.

-He is so polite and so upstanding, he would NEVER ask you directly. But the suspense of not knowing really does take a number on him.

-By the end of Azul’s overblotting he is so awkward and nervous around you, that you absolutely have to say something.

-At this point, you figured most of the beastmen had an idea of you being feminine, however, you had no real confirmation of that. 

-Jack is such a “let's not bother other people” kind of guy, that you knew he wouldn’t want to say anything to you if you knew… so you decided to take the plunge.

-At the museum, you pull him aside and you have to ask.

_”Jack?”

“Hm?”

“You know, don’t you?”

“…”

“I figured as much. Don’t tell anyone, m’kay? I want to tell my friends on my terms.”

-It makes Jack respect you more than he already did. Not only did you have the confidence to confront him, but you did it calmly and you were understanding of his position.

-And honestly? Not much changes between the two of you.

-He just respects you a little more. He’s not particularly protective around most other students, he talks to you the same, and he doesn’t act like you’re special. You’re just… a friend. 

-The only thing that he may be different about is other beastmen. He does his best to shield you from them if he feels they might be a threat to your well-being. 

Epel

-Epel, being a more feminine-looking man himself… doesn’t think much of you.

-At this point, you’re well acclimated to things at nightraven college, and are very good at being “one of the boys.”

-His ONLY implication is how… differently Rook and Kalim treat you.

-At this point, Kalim has found out via the previous chapter, and Rook knows because of course he does. (We won’t be getting into that today though)

-They both are more… delicate with you? Rook whips out the charm times ten when you’re around. Kalim, although friendly with everyone, seems to be even MORE friendly when you’re around. Like he wants you to like him.

-Even Deuce and Ace have a few… odd tells.

-They both pointedly ensure Jamil is at least five feet away from you at all times. Glare at Rook when he’s a little too charming.

-Other than that, nothing really gives it away.

-Epel is completely and totally in the dark because you’re really good at hiding that you’re a woman.

-He does, however, eventually find out because… Deuce slips up. He’s there giving his big speech on the beach, hyping Epel up, and somehow he manages, “And the prefect is a woman, but she never lets that get in her way!”

-Epel: Shocked, confused, in awe… says nothing. He lets the information ruminate.

-He lets it ruminate for a very long time.

-So long, in fact, that he doesn’t raise his suspicions until the two of you are on a broom heading off to save Vil’s life.

-The silence was killing him, so he had to ask.

-“Prefect, are you a girl?”

“You didn’t know?”

“I couldn’t be sure, I look like a girl too, so you never know.”

“Yes, Epel, I’m a girl.”

“…Cool.”

-Honestly, he’s kind of jealous of you. You passed better than him, and you had to try harder.

-It doesn’t change how he treats you, honestly. He’s not that kind of country bumpkin, but he won’t lie and say he doesn’t have a little resentment held against you.

-He thinks you’re cool as hell, and you help redefine what femininity can look like to him much better than what Vil does.

-He, however, does actively become more protective of you. 

-Not because he thinks you can’t fend for yourself, but because he kinda wants to show off a little.

[harunayuuka2060]

Sebek: Sensei! *his voice filled with worry* Aren't you supposed to be in the hospital right now?!

MC: *chuckles* I'm fine, Sebek. It's only a minor injury.

Ace: MINOR INJURY?!! YOU GOT SHOT!!!

Epel: Ace is right! We were worried about you!

MC: That's why you shouldn't be watching TV during class hours. Though I always allow you in my time, didn't I? Hehe~.

Professor Crewel: Professor MC, please come with me so we could clean that up.

MC: Thank you, Sir Crewel~. I'm glad you're just as calm as always.

Professor Crewel: *frowns* Indeed I am. However, you need to be scolded for pulling that stunt.

MC: Aww... Can I please wear headphones if you do? I've already got an earful from Mr. Venue.

The NRC students: *had all watched how the dating show had turned into a whole chaotic situation*

*Vil's dad almost getting kidnapped right after the winner was announced.*

*Professor MC fighting off the kidnappers and treating it like a children's game, where they even allowed one of them to shoot because they felt bad of how 'clumsy' they were*

Crowley: Professor MC! I didn't expect you to be this careless!

MC: *sad frowns*

Professor Trein: What you did is a bad example of someone who is supervising the disciplinary department of this school.

MC: Ow... I think my wound actually hurts... *smiles* May I take my leave now?

Crowley and Professor Trein: *frowns* *then sigh*

Crowley: You may.

MC: Thank you, sir~. I'll go see my students.

The students: *frowning at them*

Floyd: *except him* You were so cool, sensei.

MC: Thank you, Mr. Leech. *smiles*

Jamil: It was amazing, yes, that Sensei handled those kidnappers in a graceful manner. However, allowing them to hurt you so you would be even was something I didn't expect from you.

MC: You're right about that, Mr. Viper. After all, I have taught everyone else to use everything at your disposal while ensuring your own safety.

Jade: Then, why didn't you do that, sensei?

Malleus: Because they're more than capable of doing anything.

Azul: If someone is strong, they would foolishly let their guard down. However, MC-sensei did that to mock them.

MC: *chuckles* Oh. Don't phrase it like that. I actually felt bad for them.

Leona: You're kinda twisted too, sensei.

Idia: It's almost scary.

Vil: Enough of this conversation. Sensei, my dad sent you a blender. Since that's the only thing you've asked him.

Vil: *frowning a little* Are you sure this would be enough?

MC: Why, yes. I've already bought some fruits to try it. That's right! How about I treat you all to a small, fruitshake party?

The students: YOU GET REST!

MC: Aww... *sad pout*

Crowley: Professor MC will be resting for a week until they're fine to teach classes again.

Professor Trein: Headmage, there's something I would like to inform you.

Crowley: What is it, Professor Trein?

Professor Trein: The Queen of Briar Valley, the King of Sunset Savannah, and the head of Al Asim's want to meet Professor MC as soon as possible.

Crowley: ...

Crowley: Why do I feel nervous?

Professor Trein: I don't know...

MC: *drinking their fruit shake alone* *sigh*

MC: I can't believe I've got scolded by my students.

MC: Have I taught them too much?

MC: ...

MC: Hehe.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

REWATCHING GO S1, LIVE PLAY-BY-PLAY OF DOOMSDAY WAHOO

HELLO MAGGOTS REWATCHING SEASON 1 BECAUSE THE FIRST TIME WAS A KIDNAPPING CHAOTIC MESS. EPISODE ONE HERE GOES. I DON'T REMEMBER A LOT OF DETAILS BUT YES.

Opening scene and Earth's got vibe-checked by God and I've been gaslit about the dinosaurs

GARDEN OF EDEEEEEN wow his first appearance and Aziraphale's already so prissy and flustered might fuck around and fall in love with him idk

I finally understand who these mf's are hi Hastur and Ligur you're not zombies after all

FOR FUCK'S SAKE SECOND SCENE CROWLEY'S BEEN IN AND SHE WALKED IN, SERVED HIPS HAIR AND CUNT, AND THEN MANAGED TO TALK HER AWAY INTO A PROBLEM

LIKE GENUINELY SHE COMES AND SASHAYS WITH HER HAIR AND SAYS TIMES ARE CHANGING AND HEAD OFFICE LOVES ME AND JUST INSTANTLY HASTUR AND LIGUR USE HER WORDS AGAINST HER

idk sister mary loquacious is kinda doing it for me rn with that satanic nun's habit and losergirl energy

third crowley scene and he's misplaced THE LITERALLY GODDAMNED ANTICHRIST because he made small talk with a bloke outside without checking for details

mmmmhm yes sister mary wink again your bitchless decisions are sexy y'know what i mean

Gabriel feels like his brain was eviscerated and replaced with one of those youtuber's paid course promos at the end of their how to change your life in 45 days: three simple mindset shifts video

so THIS IS WHY EVERYONE KEEPS SAYING PAVLOVIAN IN THIS FANDOM IT'S BECAUSE OF DUCKS of course it's because of ducks

mmmhm yes sure crepes French revolu--Crowley stop eye-fucking Aziraphale you're making everyone at the Ritz horny

Aziraphale don't moan into your food man you can't take these two anywhere

Crowley thanking the driver for slowing down is everything to me

And they're drunk hu-fucking-zzah good thing we'll have 11 year olds saving the world coz these fuckers sure ain't doing shit

OH MY GOD HE WAS TRYING TO SAY BOUILLABAISSE I JUST REALISED. I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST MAKING KISSY FACES AT AZIRAPHALE I'M NOT OK-

What Aziraphale was doing back was definitely kissy faces though that mfer wasn't even trying to say bouillabaisse when Crowley said what sounded suspiciously like baby

kissy kissy from lil miss prissy [i would have made such a great high school bully shame i had no inclinations that way]

SORRY WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK WAS THAT SOBERING UP EXCUSE ME THE FANFICS MADE IT SOUND LIKE IT WAS A CLICK AND THEY'RE SUDDENLY NORMAL WHY IS THE ALCOHOL REFILLING

oop nun down nun down

i want ya see a wile ya thwart amirite on a t-shirt

"actually i encourage humans to-" just say you're a lazy bitch azi we love you

love crowley fake-manipulating azi into helping like azi wants to be manipulated y'know so it's not technically his fault he was wiled over or whatever and they're both just such ENABLERS

not azi going SOFT at being godfathers with crowley

NOT BROTHER FRANCIS PLEASE NO FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SACRED AZI WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS PLEASE

WARLOCKKKKK I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

HNNNG MICHAEL SHEEN HAD TOO MUCH FUN WITH THIS

why is nanny ashtoreth so seductive with that of course dear is it just crowley's inherent disastergirl sex appeal

HALF PONYTAIL CROWLEY I AM A FUCKING SLUT FOR HALF PONYTAIL

GASLIGHTING HEAVEN AND HELL THAT'S MY BABYGIRLS

erIC THE DISPOSABLE DEMON I DIDN'T KNOW THEY COME IN S1 well not come i hope unless being eaten by a hellho--nope

ANGEL CROWLEY SAID ANGEL ANGEL ANGEL

CROWLEY TRYING TO BE SUBTLE ABOUT KILLING BEFORE GETTING ANNOYED

waiter crOWLEY OUTFIT I CANNOT BE NORMAL AFTER THE WEDDING DRESS DESIGNING ABOUT THIS COSTUME

FOOLS WRONG BOY YOU FOOLS IM DEAD

DOG IS UNIRONICALLY SO CUTE EVEN BEFORE IT GOES SMOL

gonna give my roxie a kissy brb she's my angel and all this dog talk makes me miss her (she's a few feet away under the bed)

i asked her for a kissy and she crawled out and gave me a kiss i love her

DOGGGGG ADAMMM

...roxie's crying to be taken downstairs it's nearly 2 am this is on me for waking her up i crowley'd myself fml

EYYYYY WELCOME TO THE END TIMES don't mind me I'll have to take roxie down yes I know maggots I'm crowley-coded I KNOW THAT I'M A BLOODY DISASTER BYEEEEEEEE

[k1ngdom-of-thieves]

Hi there! can you do headcanons for the housewardens of Night Raven College finding out MC is a girl?

MC has short boyish looking hair (for example 👇)

And MC is always wearing a boy uniform around the school, so everyone there though MC was a boy. Except for Grim and Crowley.

Until one day, all of MC's other clothes were dirty, so she had to wear the out she was wearing when she got teleported to NRC.

Then Crowley asked MC to deliver something to one of the dorms. And when MC sees the surprise look on the housewardens' faces, she's just like "Yeah I'm a girl, but what's with that look? You and everyone else already knew that."

I’m so sorry you had to wait so long for this, my twst OC has a similar story to this lol

Dorm leaders + finding out reader is a girl

Riddle Rosehearts (chapter 1 spoilers, just wanna cover my tracks)

Riddle was completely blindsided. He had no idea that the NRC allowed girls to be in the school, but then realized that your case was a very special one.

He was a bit ashamed about having you witness his overblot. Not that he wasn’t before but his mother taught him to be nothing if not respectful to a girl. One of the only things she did right.

He started acting a bit more “gentlemanly” to make up for his previous blunder. He held the door open for you, offered to carry the items for you, it was kinda weird to say the least.

You had to tell him to dial it back and that you liked him the way he was before. That’s when he gets it through his mind that he was over exaggerating quite a bit.

“I apologize for my prior behavior. I-I mean, I’m sorry for assuming that you were a male. It was very crude of me.”

Leona Kingscholar

Leona had a bit of an idea that you weren’t a man but it wasn’t his place to comment, nor did he care all that much anyway. When you appeared in Savanaclaw, he was more amused than anything else.

He was glad his suspicions were confirmed, though he thought it amusing how you assumed it was common knowledge. Although just seeing how everyone treated you like one of the guys should’ve shown you otherwise.

He has Ruggie take whatever you were delivering, his family would kill him if they thought he was letting a woman do the heavy lifting. Ruggie is more than pissed.

Asks you if you plan to wear anymore “feminine” clothing after this. He doesn’t mind if you do or don’t, he just feels that it would be a very unique change of pace for an “all boys” college.

“Do you want to wear stuff like this more often? It’d be pretty funny seeing your friends react to your getup.”

Azul Ashengrotto

Azul was definitely caught off guard. He’s not gonna show it though, he pretends that everything’s fine even though he’s beyond confused.

He takes the updated menus from you and makes small talk with you while sorting them. Little things like how your day was, the weather, if you were always a girl or if he’s losing his mind.

Asks if being in the NRC has been a comfortable experience. It must be quite isolating being the only person in a dorm, the only magicless person and the only girl in this school. If you need anything, he’d be more than happy to make a deal with you.

Wonders if there’s anyone else that knows about you being a girl. When you tell him that you’ve only had to tell Crowley and Grim because you thought it was obvious he feels a small sense of pride being one of the few.

“Well then, please remember that if you need anything to make your life here easier, we at the Monstro Lounge are more than happy to assist.”

Kalim Al Asim

Kalim was taken by complete surprise when you showed up to Scarabia in that outfit. It’s hot as balls there so I don’t blame you tbh. He does the dramatic “WHAAAT” thing and everything.

Bombards you with questions. He doesn’t mean anything bad by it, he’s just confused about how this was right in front of him the whole time.

He has a bunch of sisters so he has a slight understanding on how girls differ from guys but he’s never had to use that info in his day-to-day life. He makes up for his lack of understanding the same way he deals with other things he has a hard time with; with pure enthusiasm.

Kalim asks if there’s anything you need, anything at all. From practical things like new clothes and food, to less normal requests like new pets or entertainment. Jamil overheard at this point and told him to relax.

“I can’t believe you’ve been a girl this whole time!! You definitely fooled me ya know!”

Vil Schoenheit

Vil had no idea you were a woman but he wasn’t going to let that change how he treated you. He still spoke to you like it was a normal day and and even insulted talked shit about Crowley not getting you enough clothing.

He’s honestly more offended about your lack of a closet. He refuses to let it go. He also offers to let you have some skincare products that didn’t work that well with him. He won’t be offended if you don’t accept his offer, if you were Epel that would be a different story however.

The rest of your visit is mostly him offering to help you in different ways, like going shopping for clothes with you or picking out different accessories for you to borrow. You’re lucky he likes you so much.

Like I said before, he doesn’t change much of how he treats you; you’re still the prefect of ramshackle after all. He knows you can handle his harsher demeanor.

“While you’re here, would you like to have some moisturizer that was sent for me to review? It’s unused and I despise letting things go to waste.”

Idia Shroud

Idia was completely surprised when you showed up to his dorm with a package. First of all, you were IN his dorm and secondly, YOU WERENT A DUDE??

Ortho had to come in and check up on his brother because he was staring into space for so long. Ortho knew you were a girl but that’s another can of worms. He’s fine physically but mentally will be something else for a while.

Your gonna have to talk to Ortho about whatever it is you needed to deliver, it’s pretty funny seeing the difference in their reactions.

Will not be able to form a coherent sentence for a while, he still needs to process that what he thought was true was actually a lie. He’s so dramatic

“There’s nothing wrong with you being a girl, but it’s just surprising seeing that it’s an all boys school. Not-that-there’s-anything-wrong-with-you-being-here-someone-please-shut-me-up.”

Malleus Draconia

Malleus also had absolutely no idea that you were a girl, but he doesn’t seem to be too shocked. Human fashions change very rapidly so he just assumed it was that.

Takes whatever you were delivering and offers for you to stay at the dorm for a little while longer. Lilia’s on cooking duty tonight and was really excited about you tasting his food. Run while you still can

The words he uses doesn’t change but the tone he uses is a little softer than before. He was raised to always treat a lady with respect. Even if he’s watched you deal with several overblots and have already earned his respect.

He wonders if all of the other students did know that you were a girl and this was just another thing he was left out on. You have to snap him out of his negative thoughts before he gets all grouchy for the rest of the day.

“Oh! My apologies, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I was just unaware that I was the only one that didn’t know this about you.”

[thegettingbyp2]

Ok ok since I was wondering if u could do a castiel smut/fluff kinda deal? Uh I guess the story would be like after a long hunt they make eachother feel good😭 THIS IS MY FIRST TIME ASKING FIR A REQUEST

Your Company

You threw yourself down onto your bed as soon as you got back to the bunker. You, Sam, Dean and Cas had spent the past week riding around in the impala, chasing after Crowley so you were more than relieved when you realised that you had at least the next 24 hours to spend in bed with no interruptions.

You groaned when you heard a knock on your door. ‘Dean, go away,’ you called out, hoping that you wouldn’t have to get up.

‘It’s not Dean,’ a familiar voice called back. You got off of the bed, smiling slightly and opened the door to reveal Cas standing in front of you, trench-coat and all. You had had a bit of a crush on the angel since the moment Dean introduced the two of you and you had noticed in the last couple of weeks that Cas seemed to be spending more time around you and attempting to maintain conversations with you a lot more.

‘Hey, Cas, is everything okay?’ You asked, holding the door open to let him walk into your room, closing the door behind you softly.

‘I was just sitting in the kitchen and I strangely realised I wanted company,’ he said, frowning slightly, clearly confused by this emotion.

‘Oh, well I’m sure Sam and Dean would,’

‘I wanted to be in your company,’ he said, interrupting you before apologising. Your words caught in your throat as you tried to fight the smile that was threatening to work its way onto your face.

‘We can sit and watch a couple of films if you want?’

Cas’ cheeks turned red as he averted his gaze from you before speaking. ‘That isn’t the kind of company I had in mind.’

Realisation dawned on you when you noticed his flushed cheeks and the way his eyes were running up and down your body. You stepped closer to him and brought your hands up to fist gently in the lapels of his trench-coat and raised up on your toes to gently press your lips against yours. Almost as if it was an instant reaction, Cas’ hands went to your waist and roughly pulled you flush against him, making you gasp against his lips.

You were surprised when Cas clicked his fingers and the two of you were suddenly on the bed, the both of you naked with Cas’ body on top of yours. ‘Sorry,’ Cas mumbled as he pressed an apologetic kiss to your shoulder that sent a rush of need flooding between your thighs at the feel of his lips on your body.

Clutching at his shoulders, you bucked your hips against his, the groan that left his mouth was enough to send you hurtling towards your orgasm already; you never thought you would hear the angel Castiel let out a sound like that.

‘Cas, please,’ you whimpered as his hand trailed down your body to feel how wet you had become for him.

‘Have I done this to you?’ he asked and even though he was usually pretty naïve about human interactions, you could tell by the tone of his voice that he knew exactly what he was talking about in this moment in time.

Not trusting your own voice, you quickly nodded and bucked your hips again, moaning when you felt his fingers brush against your clit. Understanding what you wanted, Cas moved his hand to line himself at your entrance before he slowly pushed into you, the both of you moaning into each other’s mouths until his hips were firmly against yours.

The whimper that slipped out of your mouth was all Cas needed to hear before he started to move his hips in and out of you at a quick pace, clearly needing to reach his end quickly. ‘Now you see why I wanted your company instead of Sam or Deans?’ he asked in a serious tone and you couldn’t help but let out a surprised giggle.

‘Cas, did you just make a joke, now,’ you asked in shock, laughing again when you heard Cas let out a chuckle as his hips sped up and his head buried in your neck, nipping at your skin there. ‘Cas, I’m close,’ you gasped, all laughter being pushed from your body when his cock brushed against that one spot.

‘Me too,’ he said and with one more thrust, the both of you went hurtling over the edge, clinging onto each other as you rode your orgasms out. When he pulled out, he flopped down next to you and you moved your body until your head was resting on his chest, your fingers tracing circles on his chest as his fingers combed through your hair.

‘Well I wasn’t expecting that when you knocked on my door,’ you said after a brief moment of silence, the two of you content in each other’s company for the rest of the night.