#incorrect birds of prey

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Yelena: What the hell is up with this bow and arrow shit?

Y/N: IT'S NOT A FUCKING BOW AND ARROW. It's a crossbow! I'm not twelve!

Kate: HEY!

Y/N: No offense, Katniss.

Yelena: I love this one. They've got rage issues.

Y/N: [getting in her face] I DON'T HAVE RAGE ISSUES!

[teaaagan]

Best person ever!

Cassandra: Where's Harley?

Pamela: Don't worry, I'll find she

Pamela, shouting: Y/N sucks!

Harley, distantly: Y/N is the best person ever!Fuck you!

Pamela: Found she

[toulousewayne]

Daily Batfam Shenanigans Pt:5

————

Damian:Grayson?

Dick looks over from his spot watching TV and eating Coco Puffs.

Dick:Yes Little Dee?

Damian:You are very aware of my experience with animals.

Dick: Very much so, yes.

Damian:Why does father seem so interested about give me Birds and bees.

Dick laughs for a bit.

Dick: No kiddo, he talking about…the reproductive health.

Damian:…Sex? I know what sex is Grayson Mother gave me this with topic with a diagram and you and the alien are never quiet when I stay at the tower. So I do not see the need for such time constraints.

Dick:…

—————

Jason is in the cave help Tim with his wound care when he notices a large scar on Tim.

Jason: Where’d you get this from Replacement, falling off the handlebars of your bike again?

Tim (Drowsy from medicine ): Oh that, no Ra took my spleen.

Jason:…..The fuck you just say Tim?

——

Oracle is in the ClockTower and is on Coms with Robin who’s patrolling the East end.

Robin: Oracle?

Oracle: Yes, Robin?

Robin:Father, had the talk with me earlier.

Oracle:And how’d that go?

Robin:I think Father needs to take a course on giving the talk he isn’t very good at it.

Oracle (Chuckling): Why do you think that?

Robin: He kept trying to explain anatomy but he didn’t understand women’s. He said I should ask a woman.

Oracle loosing it on the other line.

Robin:Is it that complex?

Oracle gaining her composure: Oh, kiddo you right your father needs help.

Robin: So will you explain—

Oracle: Absolutely not.

————

Duke:Is this safe?

Jason:Most likely not.

Duke:Should we tell someone?

Jason:Probably.

Duke:Are you going to?

Jason: Nope

Alfred in the next room: Whatever you two are about to do, save yourselves the trouble.

—————

Kate: And how did you convince him to do it?

Stephanie & Dick: Bribes

Kate: Okay, so what exactly did you two bribe him with?

Dick(Smirking): That’s highly useful and top secret information.

Jason enters the room in a fuzzy red sweater and approaches Bruce who’s reading a book.

Bruce (Confused): Everything okay Jay?

Jason give Bruce a hug and quickly leaves the the room.

Stephanie (Sobbing): You got the tissues?

Dick hands her a box and dries his own tears.

Kate walking away: This family needs therapy.

————

Damian:……

Tim:Why are you staring at me?

Damian:………

Tim:Did I do something to you,or are you trying out to be one of the twins from the Shining?

Damian:I need you to take me and Jon to see a movie Saturday night.

Tim:You couldn’t have lead with that?!

—————

Barbara: Go Left

Batman & Nightwing go Right

Barbara: No your other left.

Nightwing:That’s the right?

Barbara trying not to scream and rip her hair out.

Barbara: This Family Makes me want to murder people.

Batman: Are we in Pursuit of Riddler Now?

*Oracle Disconnects*

[fandomnerd9602]

Hi can you do a male Red Robin saving Harley Quinn(Margot Robbie)

Y/N breaks into Black Mask’s club…

Harley: oh baby

Y/N knocks out guards and thugs left and right…

Harley simply purrs seductively…

Y/N: baby are you alright?

Harley: you sure know how to rev up your Harley. Vroom vroom (winks)

Y/N: we can solve that at home

Y/N unties Harley and the two quickly escape…

[incorrectbatfam]

who is most likely to believe the batkids (based on this post )

Tbh you can't beat these tags by @reineyday

[shyjusticewarrior]

DC Comics Incorrect Quotes Pt 204

Harley: What's this meeting about? Did someone find my meatball sub?

Dinah: A, we would never have a meeting about that. B, you are holding it.

Harley: Oh. Meeting adjourned.

Selina: Isn't there a goddess out here willing to turn me into Medusa so men can't look at me without immediately suffering the consequences?

Ivy: Stop being lazy and relying on gods. Quick dry cement exists, be your own Medusa.

Harley: If you don't have any goddess-bestowed cement powers, store bought is fine.

[sessa23]

UNIT Agent  : [The Master/Missy walks up to the UNIT reception wearing a disguise]  Can I help you?

The Master/Missy: Why, yes. Yes, you can. I'm here to report a terrible crime.

UNIT agent: And what terrible crime is that?

The Master/Missy : [opens their coat/jacket to pull out their weapon of choice]  This one

[crybabycunt]

(as someone knocks on the apartment door)

Yelena: You said they wouldn't find us.

Kate: Relax. No one knows we're here.

Male voice: Kate Bishop, this is the NYPD.

Kate: Okay. So they know.

[is-this-fandom-who-knows]

Dinah: Ollie and I are getting married!

Barbara: Don't share your personal problems with everyone.

[incorrectstarwarslegendsquotes]

If y'all want to date anyone 5'4 and under I'm going to need you to recognize that there is effort involved. They need their outside time, but you have to be willing to stand there with them too because you never know what birds of prey are in the area and it is your responsibility as their partner to make sure they don't get scooped up. Like. That is the bare minimum. C'mon.

Mirax Terrik

[incorrect-losers]

Henry: You stabbed me!

Eddie: Oh, boo-hoo

[reaperlight]

Stephanie: So Cass, how's it going with your mom?

Cassandra: Amazing, actually. Just last week she took me shopping. It was really fun!

Stephanie: I meant your bio-mom, Cass. Not Dinah's mom.

[teaaagan]

Starbucks

Harley, at Starbucks: Can I get a venti vanilla latte with um, seven espresso shots. 

Y/N, in line behind her: My God, just do cocaine

[fandomnerd9602]

Oliver: seriously you’re dating a knock off of me?!

Dinah: at least he doesn’t make me cry

Oliver: but I’m a billionaire

Dinah: and Y/N gives me home cooked meals and cuddles. A girl needs more than wealth, Queen

Y/N swings in…

Y/N: hey my canary, ready to go?

Dinah: baby I’m ready to sing for you…all night long

For @konstantin609

[vodrae]

Barbara: SO I'M NEVER GONNA DANCE AGAIN THE WAY I DANCED WITH YOUUUU !

Dinah, following her wheelchairs move: It's as funny the 637th time than the first isn't it ?

Barbs: We danced so much I can't feel my legs anymore !

[shyjusticewarrior]

DC Comics Incorrect Quotes Pt 184

Dick: Over-texter? That's not even a thing.

Cass: Oh really? So you don't remember the time you sent ninety seven unanswered texts in a five minute span?

Duke: My phone vibrated itself off the desk. I think it was committing suicide.

Harley: Don't worry, I'm a doctor.

Harley: *puts a bandaid on Cass then kisses her on the head*

Harley: That'll be four thousand dollars.