#incorrect ghost quote

[unhingedpolycule]

Soap: hey, do you know how big king penguins are????

Ghost, vaguely gesturing: like this? Why?

Soap: ...

Soap: up to recently I thought they were like. A meter or two?

Ghost, incredulously: You say WHAT NOW

Ghost: Two meter penguins are nightmarefuel!

Soap: they look big!

Ghost, outraged: not that big

Soap, continuing to show Ghost penguin pictures: You can't tell me they don't look massive!!!!

~Moss

[metallictastinglifesupportliquid]

Y/N: Hi I'm your medic and I'll be drawing your blood today, as soon as I finish this capri sun Y/N: *misses the hole four times then finally punches the straw through the side* Ghost, sweating: PRICE

[crestapex]

Price: What kind of girl do you prefer?

Ghost: My wife.

Price: Now what kind of girl do you prefer?

Soap: Ghost’s wife.

[witchthewriter]

Gaz: I sleep with a knife under my pillow.

Soap: Weak. I sleep with a gun.

Y/N: You’re both pathetic

Soap: What do YOU sleep with?

Y/N: Simon.

[superbat-love]

Bruce: Commissioner Gordon, I wasn’t expecting a visit this late.

Gordon: My apologies, Bruce, there are some things that I need to talk to you about regarding the Wilson case.

Bruce: No apologies needed, Commissioner. Please, have a seat. Would you like a cup of tea?

Gordon: Tea would be-

Bruce: ?

Gordon:

Bruce: Commissioner?

Gordon:

Bruce: Commissioner Gordon, is everything all right?

Gordon: Bruce, there’s a- there’s a ghost floating down your hallway…

Bruce: [turns to see a sleeping Clark floating horizontally out of his bedroom, wrapped up in his blanket]

Bruce: Oh, that’s just my great-great-granduncle Tom. He’s always haunting this hallway on Thursdays. It’s his weekly chess game, and he never got over that one loss. Poor Uncle Tom…

Gordon:

Bruce: Alfred, why don’t you go and see if Uncle Tom can be persuaded to haunt another hallway instead?

Alfred: Right away, Master Bruce.

[neoarchipelago]

On mission

Y/N: *taking out a knife* every room can become a panic room if you give just a fucking minute...

Soap: I'm scared LT... LT?

Ghost: I'm horny.

[mactavishenjoyer]

(wedding planning)

Soap:"your dad? Duh."

Ghost:"He's dead."

Soap:"Oh my fucking god he Is literally right there. I don't care if Price and you got in a fight he's still your dad and I want him in our wedding."

Price:"I- I'm not his dad?"

Soap:

Gaz:"Bullshit."

Roach:"Biggest damn lie I've heard all month."

Soap:"Womp Womp, you're not getting out of the wedding."

[blingblong55]

therapy, maybe? -Simon Riley

R/N: we're dating, of course I'll ask to wear your clothes

Ghost: we're dating, of course I installed tracking apps in your phone so I can see where you are at all times because I'm afraid my enemies are going to kidnap you

R/N: are you being serious?

Ghost:....no it's for the video *camera cuts*

R/N: we're dating, of course I love when you get sick so I can baby you

Ghost: we're dating, of course I gave you that necklace that has a tracker in case you realise you have tracker on your phone and the necklace also has a camera and its not because I don't trust you but because my family was killed and now I fear you're next

R/N: Simon- *camera cuts*

[kimjun]

girls are like “I want a boyfriend” but reject everyone because none of them are their comfort characters

[incorrectghostfiles]

[unhingedpolycule]

Soap, wistfully: a family could just be me and my 300 chrome tabs

Ghost: no

Soap: so you're telling me I'll die alone???

~Moss

[metallictastinglifesupportliquid]

Y/N: Come on, I want to show you something Y/N: *turns and walks away* Ghost: Nice Y/N: That's not it but thank you

[ragingbookdragon]

Laswell: This is the team I want you to be a medic for.

Y/N: This hellish nightmare of a squad?

Laswell: They’re not that bad.

Y/N: I have a twenty-seven year old who has an inferiority complex because he’s the youngest man here, a Scotsman who likes to have constant pissing matches that end with him speaking a language no one understands, a living Halloween decoration with so many issues I would be here for hours explaining them, I have nothing negative to say about Farah and Alex, and a grumpy old man who thinks he’s a DILF but I don’t really think he inherently knows what qualifies being a DILF but I don’t have the heart to tell him.

Laswell: Well…Farah and Alex are wonderful.

[call-of-duty-incorrect-quotes]

Exfil thoughts with Soap MacTavish and Ghost Riley.

Soap: “You'll never find the body” is such a boring threat. A better threat would be “You'll never stop finding the body”.

Ghost: “They'll be finding parts of you for at least four months and you'll still be alive for three of them.”

Soap: Now, that's a threat!

Price: ...

Price: I'm proud but concerned.

[witchthewriter]

Gaz: Soap and Y/N are missing, can you find them?

Simon: What, do you think I have them microchipped or something?

Price: Well, do you?

Simon:

Simon: Yeah, hang on.

[princessdimondheart]

Y/N: Simon?

Ghost: Yes, love?

Y/N: Can you come here for a second?

Ghost: yeah *goes to where Y/N is standing*

Y/N: sit on the couch *nudges him*

Ghost: *sits, confused* what is it?

Y/N: *places hands behind his neck and pulls his head closer* just come here

Y/N: *proceeds to shove Simon’s face into her well endowed bosom.*

Ghost: ?? Ghost: *muffled* ummm, ‘hat’s the poin’ of thiss luv?

Y/N: ssssshhhhhhh

Ghost: hah?? *tries to pull away*

Y/N: *shoves his face deeper into her boobs*

Y/N: sssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhh

Ghost: ….. *mentally: okaayyy* *gives up and relaxes*

Ghost: *tightens his arms around Y/N* *cuddles his face further in her breasts*

Ghost: *slides his hands down* *squeezes her ass with both hands* mmmmhh

Masterlist