#but dc stands for

[iguessthisisanewobsession]

Bruce Wayne Says ‘Never Too Old For Uppies’

Darling billionaire and former Gotham heartthrob turn DILF Bruce Wayne was spotted at his latest Gala wearing the latest season’s top designer suit.

This is of its self wasn’t surprising but the scene that unfolded sure was!

Now it isn’t a surprise for anyone who has been keeping track of the posts and polls about the most attractive men in America that Mr. Winner of 3 years in a row is quite ripped under all those layers he usually wears and when asked why he exercises to such a degree that it could rival the big bat, Mr. Wayne seemed to fumble for a bit before responding with a dazzling smile that he does so that he could carry all of his children.

Another reporter made comment about how all of his children were well past the age of being picked up.

Mr. Wayne proceed to state quite seriously to the reporter,

“They’re never too old for uppies.”

Apparently Mr. Wayne’s two eldest sons had heard their father’s statement as they shared a look before taking a running leap towards their dad with Dick Grayson Wayne bellowing “uppies!” In response.

Mr. Wayne, despite his well known clumsiness, caught both of his sons with a spin before calmly stating to the reporters that he had guests to talk to and then walked away with one boy sitting on each hip.

And let us remind our readers that neither men Mr. Wayne caught weigh less than an estimated 170 lbs!

The rest of the gala had our reporters spotting Mr. Wayne carrying his various children in various ways.

Message was well received, Kids are never too old for uppies, just too heavy!

But nothing less can be expected from the dad of the year.

Though, he may have competition here in Gotham, as eye witnesses have stated that they had seen our own Big Bat taking after our resident rich man.

But who can say? Maybe the two have a closer relationship than we know.

It had been stated that both Bruce Wayne and Batman have a similar physique to each-other with Batman being just slightly larger in size.

Maybe they share a workout routine?

We can only speculate.

What we can be sure of, is that Bruce loves his kids and would be willing to do anything to make them smile.

As always I am Vicky Vale.

*there are two photos shown along with the article. One of Bruce Wayne carting a staggering number of his children. With Cassandra and Damian Wayne on his shoulders, Dick Grayson Wayne and Jason Todd under each arm and Tim Drake Wayne clinging onto his front like a koala. It is noted that Duke Thomas is to the side seemingly recording the entire scene.

The second photo is of Batman with an annoyed Red Hood slung over his shoulder, trying to get loose.”

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

Justice League identity reveal where they don’t know who Batman is and one day a bunch of them walk in on him just casually eating yogurt in the cafeteria with his cowl off. A bunch of them recognize him, a couple don’t, and they’re all shocked.

Turns out Batman didn’t realize none of them knew who he was, since it had taken him all of ten minutes and three google searches to put everyone’s secret identities together and he just assumed they had all figured it out by this point. Or maybe he had meant to tell them and then just forgotten. Either way, he regularly interacts with half of them outside of hero stuff and hasn’t bothered with the whole separate persona thing with them in years. Shouldn’t they really have figured this out by now? So what if he forgot? This is clearly on them.

[bonesashesglass]

I haven’t seen anyone talk about this, which makes me think it isn’t being reported, but right now the largest protest for Palestine in the history of the United States is taking place in Washington DC. Thousands turned up to show their solidarity for Palestine and to call for a ceasefire.

Look at this, they won’t be able to ignore us for much longer.

[alyakthedorklord]

Bruce Wayne, sitting in a cute eco-friendly cafe while on a video call with Tim: Oh Noooo, are you sure there’s no way the board of directors will let us get rid of this old decrepit Wayne Factory building that is unsafe for our workers and also for the surrounding environment?

CEO Tim, with equal gravitas: No, I’m afraid they just won’t budge. It technically meets legal requirements on paper, and we can’t prove that the chemicals affecting the local ecosystem that have no other possible source are from the out-of-date drainage system… they’re saying it would cost too much to fix the place up too, which is ridiculous, because we’re us, but our hands are tied…

Bruce, full Brucie himbo mode: Oh I just feel so SAD for all the sweet fluffy animals and the pretty flowers and especially our hard workers dealing with such unsafe conditions… I think I’ll give them all a nice short vacation this weekend, so the ENTIRE PLACE will be EMPTY and SHUT DOWN from FRIDAY TO TUESDAY, the SECURITY SYSTEM WILL BE DOWN because it’s just so GLITCHY, I’m sure nothing will happen to the ENVIRONMENTAL STAIN ON OUR COMPANIES NAME THAT WILL BE COMPLETELY ABANDONED FROM FRIDAY TO TUESDAY- Timmy do you think I’m being too subtle?

Tim, snickering: no no you’re doing great Bruce I’m sure they’ve got it

Poison Ivy, on a date the next table over: ( ‘-‘)-☕️

Harley, through tears of repressed laughter: so… we doing anythin’ this weekend?

[tiffycat]

The vibes on this guy... Maybe it's a Gotham thing

Continuation of my lil delusional crossover cause I still think it is very fun and also people seemed to like the first set of doodles :D

[ochibrochi]

guilty conscience 😬 (i watched legion of superheroes movie)

[ashrayus]

literally just a guy!!

[nakathemoth]

Constantine honest to god thought a child had just been struck by lightning and died by his side

[pokeberry5]

i feel like i never draw tim smiling but bb robin tim smiles a lot! (in between angst and tragedy)

brought to you by my continued attempts at figuring out tim’s early robin hair

[phoneduk]

[Dick, Jason, and Tim in a mall]

Random Tiktoker: "Hi, excuse me can I ask you guys some questions?"

Dick: "sure!"

Random TT: "what are your names?"

Dick: "Dick, Jason, Tim"

Random TT: "...excuse me?"

Jason: "it's the idiot's name"

Random TT: "oh, uhh, alright, who's your guy's favourite billionaire?"

Dick: "Ted Kord - total Dilf energy"

Jason: "Oliver Queen"

Tim: "Lex Luthor"

Random TT: "why are they your favourite?"

Jason: "He's a total Dick but his son's hot"

Tim: "what he said"

[undertheredhood]

jason 'perfect poker face' todd: and that is the story of how i got myself permenantly banned from three countries in the span of two months!

tim 'know it all' drake: *immediately picking up his stalking hobby because he doesn't know if jason is telling the truth or not*

[flamingpudding]

The Stand-in Job

Danny loved his job. It was an easy on call job he got rather on accident. But it paid well and gave him enough time to deal with ghost matters outside of scheduled work hours.

Though now he got stuck in a situation his Boss had not provided him with a script and or explanation how to behave for.

Danny was a simple Stand-in. Sort of like a Stuntman kind of job. His boss was paying him to simple take his place during public appearances, or meetings with no big decision he has to sit through just to listen. Or on the easiest of days, to just sit in his boss office so it appears that someone is there while his boss was doing who knows what. Danny doesn't question, that's why his boss liked him.

But again, no where in his contract was described how he was supposed to handle this situation. So now he was stuck having beat up a couple of wannabe kidnappers and some vigilantes talking to him all casually going on and on how 'Tim', his boss, wasn't supposed to do that to not risk his public image. Should he record this as evidence for his Boss? It sounded like these vigilantes were spilling some of his boss' secrets that shouldn't be known to the public.

Tim just needed someone to sit in his place to make it appear like he was there when he had cases to work through. Danny was the perfect hire for it and Tim liked very much that Danny doesn't ask questions, like he understood. Yet when Danny sent him a text questioning how he should behave as Stand-in in front of Gotham's vigilantes.... Tim wasn't sure if he should feel offended or highly amused about his siblings not realizing that the one kidnapped in public hadn't been Tim but his Stand-in Danny.

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

Alfred: Injury report?

26-year-old Bruce: All the blood is on the inside?

Alfred:

Some years down the road

Bruce: Injury report?

Tim: I left no DNA behind.

Cass: I can still beat the rest of you.

Jason: Haven’t died again.

Dick: No bones are visible from the outside.

Damian: I won.

Duke: I think I discovered a new power.

Steph: You’re not my dad.

Bruce:

Bruce:

Alfred: And how *is* Karma doing today, Master Bruce?

[too-much-tma-stuff]

Finally Getting Help masterpost

Soon after Danny takes two of the failed clones into his body his parents let Vlad take him to a Gala in Gotham. When the Bats clock that he is pregnant they work to get him away from Vlad, find out how and why this happened to him, and fix it.

Danny is just relieved to finally have some adults on his side, and be able to relax and focus on himself and the babies.

Part 1 - Gala and discovery

Part 2 - confronting Vlad and calling The Guy

part 3 - Research and meeting Zatana

part 4 - Raiding Amity

part 5 - Jazz and Danny reunite

part 6 - Jazz's power point

part 7- Damian and Danny bond and Jason comes back

Part 8- Jason meets Jazz

Part 9- Jason meets Danny (finally)

Part 10- Danny calls his friends

Part 11- First date (part 1)

part 12- first date (part 2)

Part 13- Danny's doctors appointment

Part 14- Jason and Danny go camping

Part 15- Vlad crashes the party

Too many people very kindly asked to be tagged so I've made a master post people can subscribe to! I will reply to this post to inform anyone subscribed about new chapters. Thank you

Please don't reply to this post!

[ninalinovna]

Here's my contribution to THE R STANDS FOR REDEMPTION: A DAMIAN WAYNE ZINE! All proceeds from this zine will be donated to CAN DO CANINES an organization that partners service dogs with individuals with disabilities. 💚

🦇 LEFTOVER SALES ARE OPEN NOW 🦇

Learn more @damianwaynezine!

[voiider]

I need codependent Danny/Jason as a little treat (for me) and I love the idea of them having some sort of instant connection the moment they meet (bc ghost stuff idk)

Danny who's been dropped in Gotham with no way home (alt universe??) and he's been here for 36 hours and having a Very bad time senses a liminal being and immediately latches onto them heedless of the fact that his new best friend is shooting at some seedy guys in an alley and goes off about how stressed he is and how he can't make it back to the ghost zone and what a bad day he's been having (and it's important to note Danny is a littol ghost boy literally hanging off of Jason's neck as he floats aimlessly) and Jason is like "who are you??" And Danny is like "oh sorry I'm Danny lol" and then just continues lamenting his woes

And honestly ? This might as well happen. Nothing about this Danny guy(is he human?) gives Jason a bad vibe and tbh he's never felt more calm and level headed before so he just keeps up his usual Red Hood patrol and doesn't even think about it when he heads back to a safehouse and feeds Danny dinner (breakfast) before crashing for half the day

The only thing I actually need is Jason meeting up with the bats for some sort of Intel meeting and they're like "uhhh who's that" and Jason is like "that's Danny." And does not elaborate (very ".... What do you have there?" "A smoothie" vibes)

And it takes them a while to realize that these two have known each other for less than 12 hours and are literally attached at the hip