#incorrect name

[anxioustoramble]

Ok, so on a scale of 1-10 how justified is it to stop respecting someone else’s gender and name when they don’t respect mine bc we aren’t friends anymore?

Haha, asking for a friend

👀

[wondersimp]

*Someone asks Dick to pass the salt*

Damian: …Grayson, how do you tell apart someone addressing you by the name ‘Dick,’ from one who is insulting you by the genitalia word ‘dick?’

Dick: …Well, um

Jason: He can’t.

Dick: What no, of course I-!

Jason: *maintains eye contact* Trust me, You. Can’t.

Dick: *stares* How often are calling me a Dick and not my name?

Tim: *without looking up from his phone* Oh, it’s usually used synonymously.

Dick:

Damian: I see. *goes back to eating*

Dick: *mentally questions every time someone’s said his name*

[dickgraysonmybeloved]

Bruce, High on pain killers: I hate to tell you this, but one of you is adopted

The Batfam: …

Dick: .. only one?

[notrobinsomethingworse]

Dick, deadpan: You hid a racoon in your room.

Jason, crouched by a sleeping racoon currently sleeping on a pillow. Theres scratches all over his arms and legs. He doesn’t seem bothered: yeah? What ya gonna do about it?

Dick: Un-hide? The goddamn racoon in your room?

Jason: But I’ve named him.

Dick: Well, un-name him.

Jason: He’s Barty.

Dick: I don’t care.

Jason: …

Jason: We can use him to fuck with Bruce.

Dick: …

Dick: Would Barty like some food?

[motherofplatypus]

[avesgrayson]

*at dinner after a case closed the night before regarding a murdered gymnastics couple that hit a little too close to home*

Dick: yknow

Dick: I think Mapa and Papa Robin would've loved you guys

Everyone else: ???? Who

Dick:

Dick:

Dick: My. My parents?? Y'know the ones who Robin was named after?

Jason: what.

Dick: surely B told you about the origin of the name

*silence*

Dick: B...

Bruce: I can explain-

[thephantomsdream]

Price: It has 5 bedrooms, three bathrooms, full basement with laundry room, but it has room for making a couple more bedrooms and a bathroom.

Price: Was thinking of using this bedroom as a guest bedroom for now.

Price: The other bigger ones for the kids someday.

Price: An open kitchen, very big, a little bare for now.

Price: This is my office.

Price: This would be your space. You can do anything you want with it.

Price: A reading room, a gaming room, art room...

Y/N: What?

Price: In the back there's a greenhouse and a big garden. Do you like gardening or just having flowers around?

Price: I can arrange someone to come every so often to take care of the yard.

Y/N: Wait...

Price: Let me walk you through it, you'll love it.

Price: I can build a gazebo riiiight there. What do you think?

Y/N: John, enough.

Price: (tilts head confused)

Y/N: This is literally our first date.

Price: (shaking his head) None of that.

Price: What's your ring size?

[hopefully-helpful-daemon]

*batkids going out in gotham for the night*

Bruce: And what do you do if you get stopped by the cops?

All of the kids: let Tim or Jason deal with it as the two white passing ones.

Bruce: Good, now go have fun.

[thebibliosphere]

I know I'm a broken record at this point about how functionally useless editing software has become since AI integration (read: corrections are now being suggested based on user input, not actual grammar rules), but there's nothing quite like a piece of writing software flagging something you've written as an error, and then when you click on it, it can't tell you what the error is.

Just that it thinks something is wrong.

It's like the writing equivalent of the "you better watch out!" meme.

Watch our for what? Nobody knows, but you better watch out!

[thewrittenpodcast]

Principal: unfortunately we had to call your mother in

Peter: may won't pick up

Principal: no not your aunt. your mother

Peter: i don't... have one?

Principal: says here one Viginia Potts is listed

Peter: i have never met a virginia in my life

Pepper, walking in: i was called

Peter:

Peter: your name is virginia?

Peter: my life is a lie

Peter: how can I go on

[lavupland]

Wicked as ao3 tags

[timdrakesbussy]

[fanaticalthings]

I want an AU where after Jason gets brought back to life, he channels his inner rage and turmoil into the academics instead of murder

Talia has like infinite money and a crap ton of influence, so she can absolutely get Jason the best tutors and can easily get him into the most prestigious schools if Jason wanted to (she doesn't need to do that though because Jason's just smart enough to get into them on his own)

The major he chooses? Med.

Why? Because Bruce dropped out of med school.

Jason practically flies through all the secondary education that he needs to catch up on and is already en route to earning his bachelor's AND his master's.

And it'd be so incredibly funny if the way Bruce and Jason reunite in this AU was purely by coincidence.

Bruce (as Brucie Wayne) offers to show up as a guest lecturer at Hudson University (the school Dick attended but dropped out of so double points for Jason), maybe to talk about future career paths and job positions at WE idk

So as Bruce is just wandering around the campus, he randomly bumps into a student and immediately puts on the Brucie act and is all "Oh my, I'm SO sorry, I'm just a klutz haha" only to stop dead silent when he makes eye contact with a very alive, very grown Jason Todd, who also stops dead in his tracks, mouth agape, staring at Bruce like the world's about to end

And before Bruce can get his thoughts straight, Jason just bolts out of there like his life depends on it, and Bruce is just in shambles for the rest of the day.

It doesn't help that the person giving Bruce the tour is all like "Oh yeah, that's Jason, he's one of the heads on our student council haha, anyways, this way, Mr. Wayne." and Bruce is just stood there bluescreening.

----

Alternatively, it'd be kinda funny if this all happened AFTER the events of UTRH where after the final encounter with Bruce and Joker and the whole explosion, Jason's just like "yk what, maybe I'm just gonna turn over a new leaf and pursue a higher education"

So while Gotham's still reeling from the aftermath of Jason's near takeover as the top crime lord and Bruce is still painstakingly trying to figure out where his son went, the whole time Jason's just been chilling on a school campus and Bruce just so happens to bump into his son (who, last time they met, tried to kill Bruce and blew up the building they were all in) and Jason's just all normal-looking with his textbooks and nerdy glasses and Bruce doesn't know whether to scream or cry.

[stupidlybookish]

Sloane: Crushes are the worst!

Dain: I know! Whenever I’m around mine, I always act stupid.

Sloane: Pft, you always act stupid.

Dain:

Dain: Please don’t think on that too hard.

[eatmy-customjorts]

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars

[beepsheeps]

pt 6! sanji fans (me) this one goes out to u