#it was fucking bruce

[recent-rose]

i feel like ive failed in life to be marvelposting in the year almost 2023 but like tony stark really died as he lived aka not taking responsibility for any of his mistakes. man went so far as to DIE to avoid having to look people he wronged in the eye. ctfu

[greystend]

In a world where a domino mask, or even just taking glasses out, is enough for concealing your identity...

Nobody should be able to recognize Jason post-ressurection.

Like he took 3 feet, 100 pounds of muscles, undergone puberty, magicked a part of his hair white, and his eyes changed colour.

He takes his helmet out in his dramatic reveal, and Batman is like : ... okaaaaay ? I am supposed to know who you are ??

[bbbbbbbbatman]

Bruce keeping a tighter and tighter lid on his identity around the Justice League because with each new person to reveal their identity he realizes that he has fucked far too high a percentage of his co workers as Bruce Wayne and he has to take this secret to his grave

[oncillabrigade]

Finally read Robins!

I have a lot of thoughts, but I just want to say this panel is the funniest thing I've ever seen:

[daydreamerwonderkid]

RIP to Bruce. Can't get a single night to himself smh

[everwalldigan]

Bruce: *waking up in a hospital that he drove himself to after having a heart attack and telling absolutely nobody* hey…

The entirety of the batclan looking over him with Dick in the centre, an absolute terrifying grin on his face:

Dick: hello Bruce, nice evening isn’t it? Got something to share with us?

Edit: the fic is now out on ao3! https://archiveofourown.org/works/57780508

[emotional-piece-of-meat]

"Bruce loves his children to infinity but sucks at communication" gotta be one of my favourite tropes.

What Bruce means: I miss you so much it hurts, you are a great hero, and I'm really glad that you still consider me as part of your life and share your thoughts with me.

What Bruce does: hums meaningfully in response to Dick's story.

What Bruce means: I'm sorry about everything that happened between us, I still love you and want to fix our relationship, I'm incredibly grateful that you don't avoid me.

What Bruce does: nods at Jason when sees him on the patrol.

What Bruce means: I deeply care about you, you are truly important to me, I worry about your health and I don't want you to repeat my mistakes, neglecting yourself for the sake of a mission.

What Bruce does: gives Tim a snack without any explanation.

What Bruce means: I'm very proud that, despite everything you were taught, you choose to be a good person and help people, you have a kind soul, and it's an honour to me to call you my son.

What Bruce does: gives Damian an intensive head pat.

Should I say that Cassie is a blessing?

They stare at each other's soul for a solid five minutes and it's basically a full ass conversation.

[frownyalfred]

Bruce Wayne is so much stronger than me, because if I was him I would walk straight up to Lex Luthor at a fundraiser, lean down, and whisper you want to fuck Superman so bad it makes you look stupid in his ear before flitting away with zero context.

[fakeicecubes]

I truly think that Bruce would protect his kids with his life from the media/paparazzi. Like when he first adopted Dick all articles surrounding him and his parents death vanished. Or how he played up his Brucie performance when Damian first went to a WE gala because he’s never had to deal with the press before. And I KNOW it killed him when Jason’s death was announced but that was the one thing they couldn’t keep from the media.

One day, pre-identity reveal, Clark goes to a charity gala and asks a young Tim drake and Cassandra Cain about their opinions on the subject. A BUNCH of reporters are giving him looks but Clark can’t tell what for. Until Bruce Wayne walks up to with a stone cold expression. But Clark was perfectly polite and Tim and Cass tell Bruce they actually enjoyed expressing their opinions. The next day in the Planet their words weren’t twisted. And now whenever article comes out about the Waynes(still a rare occurrence but it’s something) it’s written by a certain Clark Kent.

[haveihitanerve]

My favorite thing about the bats is that… they are gothamites. And sure they scare the shit out of people… but they are in Gotham. Superman is loved by his people, Flash is adored, people pray to Wonder Woman, Green Arrow is feared. But the Bats? The Bats are like all of Gotham's weird older brothers/sisters/parents. Superman and Green Lantern are visiting Batman in Gotham and all of a sudden he gets smacked in the face by a banana and they turn and find a group of teens skateboarding away and one kid calls over his shoulder ‘eat the fucking potassium you absolute brick.’ and Batman doesn't even do anything. Barry is chilling with Nightwing when a girl runs beneath the building they are sitting on and screams “Nice ass Night! But get it the fuck down here, my cats stuck in a tree.” And Nightwing does a flip off the building and just?? helps her?? Wonder Woman and Black Canary are passing through Crime Alley on their way to the Batcave and spot Red Hood standing in an alley, being lectured by a woman who is half his size and she ends the lecture by throwing two sandwiches at his face and walking away. Red Hood just takes his hood off and starts eating. Superboy is helping Red Robin defeat Scarecrow and while they’re hiding, waiting for him to walk into their trap, RR is casually conversing with a Gothamite about Hogwarts Houses, and when he says the Gothamite looks like a Gryfindor he pops his head out and screams “Yo scarecrow hes right fucking here!” J’onn is heading to the Manor to discuss League business with Bruce when he spots Robin(Damian) fighting Riddler all alone and is about to intervene when three teenagers show up and just fucking deck him instead. Damian doesn't thank them, just glowers, and one of the guys goes “you're welcome you fucking brat.” And the girl even smacks the back of his head and goes “manners.” Clark is sent to go find Tim and Steph and Damian and finds them at this girls birthday party, in full costume, eating cupcakes and drinking punch, jumping on the bouncy house and is like “errr, B-Batman needs you home.” And as one the entire birthday party group went “Fuck Batman.” Spoiler was spotted painting these guys nails, Black Bat was seen teaching calculus to a group of teenagers, Batgirl(Babs) was running after a group of kids screaming “Give me back my laptop you fucks!” Just- just the batfamily and Gothamites being annoying to each other and appreciative yet bitches. 

Bus driver: stop getting thrown at my fucking bus, i got places to be and my insurance only covers so many shatter windshields and person sized dents  Batman: I don't really control where I get thrown Bus Driver: well you better fucking start otherwise theres gonna be another fucking villain on these streets *drives away and almost runs him over* Superman: *gaping* yo-you're just gonna let him do that? Batman: *shrugs* Gotham insurance aint what its cracked up to be Superman: *staring dumbly*

[fanaticalthings]

POV: You're on Gothamtwt

just gothamite things

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[phantobats]

I like to think that Bruce has a meticulously maintained order of where and how to store all the gadgets in the Batcave. If it's not followed properly, his entire day is ruined and his disappointment is immeasurable - and Dick knows this.

So whenever they fight, Dick will absolutely sneak into the storage and place the slightly larger Batarangs with the smaller ones, switch the flash grenades with the smoke bombs, and maybe even park the Batmobile slightly sideways instead of having it face the exit directly.

It drives Bruce crazy, but he can't react outwardly lest his other children notice and this cursed psychological warfare begins spreading.

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Instead of Dick or Tim, Red Hood straight up goes for kidnapping Bruce Wayne and keeping him hostage just to see how desperate the birds get in trying to find him.

It’s a foolproof plan. Batman won’t blow his cover unless absolutely necessary, and “Brucie” would never know how to slip away from a crime lord of Red Hood’s caliber. It’s foolproof. It’s perfect. Jason can keep dropping hints and make threats towards the birds and watch Bruce squirm without consequences if he plays this right.

But then “Brucie” keeps begging him not to hurt his kids…

[mx-heinous]

De-aged Bruce, bored and wants to start shit: Hey, Tim, was it? I noticed that you kinda look and act like a mini-me. Are you one of my bio kids?

Tim: Nope, I'm actually Janet and Jack Drake's son

Bruce: And? Doesn't refute my statement

Tim: What? Bruce, that's impossible. It's not like you–

Tim, realizes what Bruce was implying: Son of a bitch, you didn't

Bruce: *smirks*

Tim: Seriously?! My mom?!

Bruce: Your dad's a good kisser, too, by the way

Tim: *gags* I did not need to know this

Batkids: *wheezing in the background*

Tim: Why, why are you telling me this?!

Bruce: *goes closer* Because it hurts you

[bbbbbbbbatman]

Gotham has so many rogues and most of them don’t actually cause that much trouble in the grand scheme of things, so other than the really big ones, like joker, news about Gotham rogues can get pretty muddled outside the city which leads the JL to believing that Batman and Manbat are the same person and that their colleague sometimes turns into a giant bat monster but they don’t bring it up bc they think it’s a sensitive topic

Which eventually leads to a scenario like this mid combat when they’re getting pretty desperate:

Green Lantern: I know we’re not supposed to talk about it or whatever, but it would be really helpful if you could turn into a giant bat right now, spooky

Batman, having zero context for this comment, pausing mid fight to look at Hal like he just grew a second head: What the fuck are you talking about, Jordan?

Green Lantern, suddenly much less confident: Um…you know how you…turn into a giant bat?

Batman, utterly bewildered, turning to the other members but finding that he is clearly the only one out of the loop: what is happening right now

[daydreamerwonderkid]

The amount of anime screenshots I stared at for this one a;dslkfsa;lk

Obligatory click for better quality.

Many thanks to @ashoss for helping me keep my sanity while I was working on this one. Couldn't have done it without them!

Meme reference and clean versions under cut

If you haven't seen The Good Place yet, you definitely should.

I just wanna show this panel off. I put WAY too much effort in it, but I don't regret it :3c