#tips for healthy relationships

[whispersofthepurplevalley]

TIPS for HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

1. REMEMBER that any relationship is so much more than just a feeling. It requires an adequate amount of communication, reciprocation and space for one to grow within it.

2. PAY ATTENTION to how they treat your trivial affairs, and pay attention to how that makes you feel. Then, let the other person know. Avoid forming assumptions based on your limited perception.

3. GIVING with an abundant heart is a pretty gesture in any relationship, but always being the one to give may actually be a siren call. Be aware.

4. SET BOUNDARIES. Do not ever forget who you were before you crossed their path. You were a complete being with a goal to reach before they were ADDED to your life.

5. If you constantly have to find different ways to gain their attention, CALCULATE if you are investing your time and energy in the right place. A good person and a person with a good understanding of relationships aren't always the same people.

6. LEARN to say NO to yourself when you know that hanging onto a person or a feeling wouldn't bring you any growth. Do not become the clip to your own wings. Do not become your own prison.

-Sabina Yesmin

[theambitiouswoman]

Green Flags in Communication 💚💬

"I want to know when I hurt your feelings."

This shows they are willing to understand and acknowledge the impact of their actions.

"I don't want you to feel alone in this."

This shows empathy and indicates that the person is supportive and does not want the person to deal with issues alone.

"I've been struggling with ___”

This demonstrates vulnerability and trust, as the person is open about their struggles.

"How have you been feeling about ___? I know it's been on your mind a lot."

This shows concern for the other person's issues or worries, showing that they are listening and care about what's important to the other person.

"I feel __ when you __; are you open to trying __ next time?"

This is an example of constructive communication.

"What do you need from me when this happens with your family?"

This shows awareness and sensitivity to the persons family dynamics and a willingness to provide support.

"I appreciate when you ___.”

Expressing appreciation is vital for positive reinforcement and acknowledging the efforts and qualities of the other person.

"I didn't handle that well."

This is a sign of self-awareness and accountability, recognizing one's own mistakes and being open to learning and growth.

"I'm sorry, I was wrong to say that. I'll try to be more mindful in the future."

Shows you are able to apologize genuinely and a commitment to improving behavior.

"Tell me more about that; I'm really interested in hearing your perspective."

Indicates a genuine interest in the other person's thoughts and feelings.

"I noticed you seemed a bit off today. Is everything okay?"

It shows you are attentive to the other person's emotional state and a readiness to provide support.

"I'm here for you, no matter what you need."

Offers unconditional support, creating a sense of security in the relationship.

"I love how passionate you are about your hobbies. It's inspiring to see."

Expresses admiration for the other person's interests.

"Let's work on a solution together. What do you think would be fair?"

Focusing on collaboration rather than conflict.

"I trust your judgment on this."

Trust and respect for the other person's decision-making abilities.

"Your happiness is important to me. Let's make sure you're taking time for yourself."

Prioritizes the other person's happiness and emphasizes the importance of self care.

"It's okay to feel that way. Do you want to talk about it more?"

Validates the other person's feelings.

"I appreciate how you handled that situation. You're really good at ___."

Praises specific strengths or skills, boosting the other person's self-esteem.

"I know we disagree, but I respect your point of view."

Acknowledges differences in opinion while still maintaining respect and understanding.

[corvase]

hesitant love prompts

+ accommodating love interest dialogue :)) feel free to use <3

“how many times do i have to tell you you can trust me?”

“what can i get you? do you need water? a hug? space?”

“i’m sorry. i just don’t think i’m ready.” “don’t apologize. it’s okay.”

“i think i’m ready.”

“thank you for being patient.” “you never have to thank me for that.”

“are you frustrated with me?” “never.”

“i just don’t want to be hurt again.” “i understand.”

“can you give me a second? i need a moment.”

“don’t apologize.” “sorry.” “name.”

“it’s okay. take your time.”

“if you tell me you want me to leave i’m gone, okay? don’t ever feel like you can’t take a break from me.”

when the love interest first asks them out and they’re like i’m really sorry but no… but the love interest doesn’t mind

“would you like to go on a date?” “i could do a date.”

more promrps like this in my healthy relationship prompts in my pinned master list…

[starfireandthistledown]

can you do jealousy/possessive prompts or aus? thanks!

Absolutely! Not really a fan of the possessive side, but I can do some jealousy prompts all day long. Hope you enjoy! :)

Person A sees Person B, their crush, talking to their mortal enemy, Person C, and immediately assumes that B and C must be having some kind of romance. This makes them hate C even more and causes some resentment towards B.

Person A knows, absolutely knows deep down that Person B would never cheat on them, but they can't help the twinge in their heart every time they see B talking easily with someone else.

Person A is very socially awkward and self-conscious about it, which makes them think that their partner Person B is always looking for someone new.

Person A notices Person B talking to someone else at a party and immediately swoops in with an arm around B's waist to claim them as their own.

Person A can feel their temperature rising a degree every time Person B dances with someone else at a party, finally culminating in them cutting in and not letting B dance with anyone else the rest of the night.

Person A has mind-reading abilities and gets irritated every time they can sense Person B is thinking about someone else.

Person A can hardly blame anyone for being attracted to their hyper-attractive partner Person B, but that doesn't mean they have to like it.

Person A is in love with Person B, who is in a committed relationship with Person C. Person B is unaware that A is absolutely seething every time they are affectionate with C. (or for bonus spicy points, B absolutely is aware that A is jealous and plays it up so that A will reveal their feelings).

Person A knows that Person B likes them but is too shy to let them know, so they start actively flirting with Person C to get A to make a move out of sheer jealousy.

Person A gets aggravated every time Person B hurries through a conversation or situation together, convinced that B is having an affair with someone else.

[agirlunfilteredsblog]

LEARNING HOW TO MAINTAIN FRIENDSHIPS

Hi girls!! The more I grow up and mature, the more I realize the importance of maintaining strong and lasting friendships with those around me. Today, we will talk about what it takes to maintain them in a healthy manner.

I think the biggest mistake we do as we grow up is that we forget to prioritize the people around us. I’m not trying to shame anyone, in fact I am equally guilty of this. The older we become, the more we tend to focus on our needs and priorities. Building strong friendships means taking time for them. It means seeing them, talking with them and being there for them as much as you can. I’m a firm believer that if a friendship is meant to last, it will find a way. Don’t be ashamed to text your friends and ask them to go out. As long as they reciprocate your energy, there is nothing wrong with outwardly admitting wanting to see someone you love.

I also think that a big reason why friendships don’t last is rooted in insecurities. It doesn’t mean that you haven’t talked to someone in a week that they are mad or annoyed with you. It could be that they’re busy. Low-maintenance friendships are usually lasting as both individuals learn to trust each other. Prioritizing your friends doesn’t mean seeing them every week; it’s always being there for them when they need you. If you’re feeling ignored or forgotten, COMMUNICATE it!! Don’t let your insecurities get the best of you and ruin an amazing connection.

so much love,

a girl unfiltered 💋

[satoguru]

finally getting that 'friend' out of your life and moving on from their toxicity feels so fucking good . get that toxic friend who doesn't respect you or your boundaries out . of . your . life . they are not deserving of you .

[thepedanticbohemian]

Writing friendships should flow naturally. Here are some tips...

[sk-lumen]

I’m 24 and never been in a relationship, just one situationship, don’t sleep around or date a whole lot...people say a lot that I’m “sheltered” or don’t get it when they talk about their relationship problems which may be true but also understand what’s going on and wouldn’t put up with the things they’re going through in the relationship (cheating, mistreatment,etc) and how it’s hard for them to leave...to me, I would rather he sheltered then put through all that? But also do have some insecurity about never having a bf and just dating in general because it scares me to be honest (growing up with narcissistic dad, my parents relationship wasn’t great) but it does bother me that they say that about me, should it?

Hi flower,

It sounds like you're too preoccupied with what other people do, say, and think about your life & your dating choices. It's your business, and nobody else's. Let it go.

I don't condone situationships for a list of reasons, they're not conducive to your wellbeing. As for the rest, I would suggest...

1. Enjoying this "break" from dating and focus on yourself, falling in love with yourself, getting to know the real you and your needs, dreams, etc. It's ok to be sheltered. I had my first serious relationship at 22, I spent no time on dating or boys before that and I'm glad for it. Because I focused on developing as an individual and my education. People have different milestones. Some have their first relationship at 17, some at 22, some at 28. There's no rule.

2. Or if you are ready, start dating (be open to meeting people at the gym, your book club, friend of friends, dating apps etc) but do so in a smart way, with clear boundaries and standards. Personally, dating casually (zero intimacy involved, to clarify) helped me become more confident and relaxed and experienced with what I want and don't want. Plus it's also a fun way to meet new, interesting people. The opposite of dating casually is dating super intentionally where you invest a lot in each person and get attached and make up hopes and wishes - don't do that. It's draining and it will disillusion you. Dating casually means detaching a bit and just enjoying the process of knowing new people, enjoying a meal or drink; if you click, good, if not, you're still good. It's not a life-or-death scenario as when you're dating while in desperate energy.

Best wishes 🕊

Lumen

[quietyearning]

Love her in the way you speak and in the things you do when she is not there. Usually, what a person does when you are not there shows the extent of their love for you. 

[pleasuremehere]

How can Black people in Kink deal with this type of discrimination?

Unfortunately, racism and discrimination will likely always exist in the BDSM and kink communities, because it continues to exist in culture and society. Yet, there are ways Black people can navigate these discrepancies safely to feel more comfortable and empowered.

Below are some tips for addressing or preventing discrimination as a Black kink:

Don’t blame yourself: If you encounter racism, please know that it’s no fault of your own. “Part of dealing with racism is learning to stop blaming yourself,” Dr. Murphy says. “Black people are socialized to feel responsible for the discomfort that White people experience around them.”

Be confident in setting boundaries: Be upfront about your sexual limits. “If something doesn’t sit well with you, then it’s okay to set a hard boundary,” King says. “You can tell people what will and won’t do, and if they don’t respect that, then it’s your right to completely disengage.”

Vet new spaces: Take time to explore new communities by attending munches. “When you’re joining a kinky community, start by attending a munch, as opposed to immediately going to a play party,” King explains. “A munch is a social event for kinky people. Munches are an ideal way to integrate yourself into the kink scene as a beginner for a few reasons.

Safe Spaces for Black people in Kink

If you’re a Black person new to kink or BDSM or someone with much experience in these spaces, know that there are communities that are more than welcoming to BIPOC. Here are some communities that provide a safe space for Black people to indulge in kinky activities or resources on navigating stigma and discrimination in BDSM and kink:

BLX Alternative

Sex Down South Conference

Hacienda

Black Kink Social

Dark Haven ATL

Kinky Black House

Don’t be afraid to connect with others virtually to learn more about the BDSM and kink communities and share experiences. “One positive of technology is the ability to connect with people and do research before entering into new spaces,” Dr. Murphy says. “When you can meet other people in the kink and BDSM communities prior to physically entering a new space, you can gain information on dynamics and learn about the experiences of others.”

While BDSM and kink are predominantly White, there are tons of Black people who enjoy kink. However, much discrimination exists in these communities due to race play and microaggressions that can oppress them. While it’s essential to identify and address racism when it arises in kink spaces, Black people should also seek communities that are designed for BIPOC so they can freely explore their sexuality without the fear of being verbally or physically harmed because of the color of their skin.

[moonlit-positivity]

Alright it's come to my attention that not everyone knows this yet so as someone who has spent a lot of time in trauma spaces here are

3 tips that will greatly improve your interpersonal relationships

"Would you like support (validation), or solutions (advice)?"

Support: "Wow, that sucks. I'm so sorry you're going through this right now. You're absolutely right to feel this way. I'm glad you reached out."

Solutions: "I understand what it is you need right now. Have you considered, [insert your opinion & advice here]? But again, that is entirely up to you."

It is crucial to know the difference.

It is crucial to know when to validate. And it is crucial to know that, even though you have good intentions in giving advice, solutions still need to be consented to.

Your friend/partner/etc, has their own life. Their own autonomy. And as much as you can see the outside situation, they might not want that from you all the time. It is crucial to know when to be a little softer and validate rather than constantly shove hard realities in their face like they're not already doing their best.

If you're venting to someone, chances are they might have no earthly clue as to what youre looking for. Ask and be direct about what kind of responses you need! It's okay to vent! It's okay to not want advice! Communicate that up front so others know how to better help you.

Also, if you're someone who constantly gives advice, this is probably why some people dont like you. Sometimes people don't want to be told what to do. Sometimes we just want to be held and accepted for who we are in this current moment. We already know what to do. We just want to know you love us anyway.

And honestly, just a general rule of thumb I've come to live by. Don't give advice. Like, ever. Even when people ask, "what should I do?" A vast majority of the time that's actually translated to, "do you think I'm still a good person? Am I crazy for thinking this way? Am I all alone out here? Do you still love me?"

Never give advice. Always opt for validation & support. Just be the shoulder to cry on. You would want the same.

"Hey, I need to vent. Is now a good time? Are you in a good headspace to listen? Or is there a better time we can talk?"

Consent

And

Boundaries

Are the backbone to a good, healthy relationship. Don't you ever forget this.

Ask and be up front about your boundaries and limits.

Be mindful that your peers have their own lives, their own stressors, and they cannot always be there for you at the drop of a dime.

Ask up front. Consider their emotional health too. Consider their schedules. Consider them.

If you've got someone who drops their shit in you at the drop of a dime, consider communicating your boundaries with them.

"im not available right now, but maybe [later] we can talk about this."

"I care for you, but I'm not very comfortable when you talk about [triggering topic]. Can I ask that we change the subject?"

"I love you, but I need to step away for my health. This is too big for me to handle."

Normalize stepping away.

Normalize knowing when you need to take a break and disengage. For whatever reason.

Tensions high? Step away.

Triggering moments? Step away.

Anger and (passive) aggressions? Step away.

Need a break? Step away.

Stepping away is what keeps the environment safe. Pause. Step away. Regulate & self care. Come back to it later (or not).

Remember that you can't control how someone else reacts. Disengage and self care instead.

These three tips will greatly improve your life. Save them. Internalize them. Live and let live.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Hope this helps

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

[whispersofthepurplevalley]

Nothing good ever came out from suppressing what one feels in a relationship. Words are great travelers. Say the right word at the right time, and it reaches where a healing hand never could.

-Sabina Yesmin

[theambitiouswoman]

Types of relationships that look like love but are not:

Infatuation: This is an intense emotional or sexual attraction to someone that can give the illusion of love. However, infatuation is often based on idealized perceptions rather than a deep emotional connection.

Codependency: Codependent relationships involve one person excessively relying on another for emotional or physical needs. This dependency can mimic love, but it is rooted in the need for validation, control, or a sense of purpose.

Unrequited love: This refers to a situation where one person has romantic feelings for another, but those feelings are not reciprocated. It may involve one-sided affection, longing, or an obsession with someone who does not feel the same way.

Limerence: Limerence is an intense and obsessive form of attraction characterized by intrusive thoughts, longing for reciprocation, and an idealized image of the other person. It can feel like love, but it often lacks a genuine emotional connection.

Conditional love: In relationships based on conditional love, affection and care are only given when certain conditions or expectations are met. This type of relationship lacks unconditional acceptance and can be manipulative or controlling.

Trauma bond: A trauma bond forms when two individuals share intense emotional experiences, often negative or abusive. Despite the harmful dynamics, there may be a strong attachment due to the shared trauma, leading to a mistaken perception of love.

Transactional relationships: These relationships are based on mutual benefit or convenience rather than genuine emotional connection. Partners may stay together for financial security, social status, or other practical reasons, rather than genuine love and affection.

Manipulative relationships: Manipulative relationships involve one person exerting control and power over the other through emotional manipulation, coercion, or gaslighting. The manipulator may feign love and affection to gain control or exploit their partner's vulnerabilities.

Fantasy relationships: In fantasy relationships, one or both partners create an idealized version of the other person, often based on unrealistic expectations or fantasies. The relationship may lack a true emotional connection, as it is based on the person's fantasy rather than the reality of who their partner is.

One-sided relationships: These relationships are characterized by an imbalance of effort, care, or emotional investment. One person may consistently give more while the other takes without reciprocation. It can create an illusion of love, but it lacks equality and mutual respect.

Love addiction: Love addiction refers to a compulsive or obsessive pattern of seeking out relationships and being dependent on the euphoric feeling of being in love. It can lead to a cycle of unhealthy relationships, as the person seeks constant validation and excitement without addressing underlying emotional issues.

[corvase]

supportive dialogue prompts

platonic and or romantic. feel free to use :)

“you are the strongest person i know and i love you.”

one character indecisive and finally decides “i think i’m gonna do bangs instead.” and the other flippantly like “whatever your hair looks like you’re still mine.”

“you just agree with everything i say.” “that’s because everything you say is correct !!!”

them genuinely being supportive even with the smallest things like . “i think im gonna do it. i’m gonna buy strawberry flavoured gum instead of mint this time.” and their s/o is like “You’re them. ur a genius. scientists are scared of you. philosophers are terrified of your power. men are in awe of U and you’re mine.”

“i believe and support you. and it doesn’t matter what anyone else says because you and i know you’re strong as hell. don’t doubt it for a second.”

“you’re enough. it doesn’t matter if you’re enough for anyone else you’re enough for yourself and you’re enough for me and i don’t need anything from you other than for you to be right here with me now.”

one is having a bad hair day and their convo goes like “it’s awful. “it’s fine.” “i am hideous.” “it’s really not that bad.” “i can’t leave the house like this.” “you’re beautiful to me *shrug*.” “STOP LYING.”

both of them have big work events coming up and agreed they can’t make it to each other’s however they both try sneak away to support the other during the work day and end up missing each other

a random but needed moment where the character is going through something and get a message like “have i ever told you i love and appreciate you? you are one of/my favorite person.”

“i mean it when i say if you were on fire i would grab a bucket of water with haste.” “what would i do without you?”

“i don’t want you ever feeling like a decision would somehow jeopardize our relationship. i love you no matter what decision you make and i’m here for you no matter how it turns out.”

^followed by “and if this doesn’t work out, if it all goes to crap, i will be here and i’ll hold you until you feel better.”

wife x i love my wife and support everything she does to death husband

one is half asleep and the other is stressed and awake and they’re murmuring to themselves like “should i just do it?” and even half asleep the other one is like “do it. ill 100% support you”

i want to add that moments like these are important in stories (as well as my healthy relationship prompts lists). i hope this helps you all to write stories where your characters have people who make them feel like they’re on top of the world all the time :)) <3

[sensible-tips]

Mindful Monday

Healthy relationships involves mutual respect, reciprocity, boundaries and compromise. If you find yourself constantly disappointed in your relationship, it may be time to check in with yourself and evaluate your own expectations for said relationship.

[conscious-love]

Signs you’re meant to be together:

You don't have to pretend to be someone you're not when you are together. When you are with the person you are destined to be with, you can be yourself completely.

You feel "at home" when you're together. When you are destined to be together, there is a sense of safety and belonging when you are in each other's presence.

You learn from each other constantly. You push each other to be better, you challenge each other, and you're always introducing each other to new things.

You've already been through the tough times. No relationship needs a trial by fire, but if you've helped each other through some of the darker moments, you already know that even at your worst, your relationship is stable.

You don't have to do anything together. You know you've got something good when you can just enjoy sitting together on a porch, taking in the breeze, and not even talking.

datingtipstwin ~ Instagram