#Batman doesn't have a problem

[rose79141]

And then Batman said f*ck It and adopted the Little Cosmic Horror

The End

DPxDC prompt

Danny's family and friends are dead and as much as he wanted to he couldn't blame himself because he had nothing to to with there deaths.

Jack and Maddie died in a car accident; honestly, no one was surprised. The only surprise was that it took as long as it did for it to happen.

Jazz had gotten brain cancer, and it took her fast.

Tucker had a seizure in his sleep, and his parents woke up to him dead in his bed.

Sam was at a rally and tried to climb a monument, but she fell to her death. She had been told not to climb it, but in true Sam fashion, the more you tell her not to do it, the more she wants to.

Danny waited, but not one of them returned as a ghost clockwork simply confirmed it.

To avoid getting stuck with Vlad, Danny shuts down the portal and escapes into the ghost zone only to fall through another portal and landed on a table surrounded by people in costumes

Danny looks around at them. "Sorry, did I interrupt an adult slumber party or something?"

Batman was bored, really and truly bored. He already didn't care much for the Green Lanterns, but they called him in for a meeting that had nothing to do with Earth or any of their allies. Who cares that an alien pet species was defecating on one of the lantern asteroids. The fact that the poop was radioactive and toxic was beside the point. He would much rather be back in Gotham. But of course, none of this showed on his face because he is Batman.

Suddenly, all the alarms started to go off, as a Lazarus green portal opened above them and spit out a white-haired, green-eyed teenager in a hazmat suit.

"Who are you, and how did you get here?" Batman asks straight to the point

The boy looks at Batman with a grin that has way too many teeth. "Hi, I'm Danny. I fell through a portal. Who are you, and where am I?"

"I am Batman.."

"seriously isn't that a little on the nose "

"Hn. You are on the watch tower."

Danny nods his head. "Ok, how far away is that from Amity Park?"

Superman decided to cut in, "Is that on Earth?" Danny's duh look said it all: "I had to ask because you don't exactly scream human to me."

Danny then starts to float off the table and grins "Really... I had no idea what gave me away my hair my eyes my skin the fact that I don't have a pulse?"

Flash decides to speed in at that point "You don't have a pulse then how are you alive?"

"Who said I was?" Danny's eyes start to glow, and Batman notices the same look on his face that his children have when they are getting ready to play a prank. "Tell me, pajama boy, do you believe in ghost stories?"

Flash scoffs "Of course not there's no such thing as ghosts "

The lights start to flicker, the room darkens, and the temperature drops to the point that you can see your breath. Danny smiles, his face stretches, and his body starts forming inhuman shapes. "You best start believing in ghost stories... Cause you are in ONE!!!"

Batman smacks a hand over his face when he sees the horror on Flash's face. Whoever or what ever Danny is he is definitely a menace.

if any one wants to continue this they are more than welcome

[superherosideblog]

Inspired by @nyukaart 's AU

Teendad!Bruce is a part time pre-med student while also being Batman, working at WE, and taking care of one to four tiny children. Needless to say, he struggles with his classes. Regardless of how smart he is or how little sleep he needs, that's just more than a human being is capable of keeping up with.

The previous semester, he took three classes, including organic chemistry. He passed two of the classes, but a Batman crisis popped up during finals week, and he ended up failing orgo, so he needs to retake it.

Despite failing, he gets into a good study group with some really talented students, including the top student in the class, aspiring botanist Pamela Isley.

He knows that's Poison Ivy. She has no clue that's Batman. The study group is surprisingly cordial.

The kiddos crash the study group sometimes, and everyone has to coo over them before any work can get done.

As Bruce takes responsibility for a growing number of children, the study group slowly devolves from "let's all learn together" to "let's make sure this one overworked dad manages to pass."

They take turns babysitting Bruce's kids, so he can get work done. This includes Ivy, who teaches them about the plants she takes care of. Dick is convinced that this is a Robin-mission to collect intel about Ivy's work, but Bruce really just thinks Poison Ivy is one of the few people who could keep track of all of his gremlins. Plus, connecting with nature is good for the kids. He's pretty certain she won't hurt random kids who haven't done anything wrong even though she has a habit of blowing up factories full of workers. She's not *that* brand of evil.

[spocks-husband]

Bruce and Selina are mlm/wlw besties who dated once when they first met and now cannot fathom ever being together non-platonically at all. Bruce is bi with a heavy male preference, Selina is a lesbian (but will fake-flirt with men if it's convenient for her in the moment). They hang out at least once a week so Bruce can complain about his two horrible boyfriends (Harvey and Joker) and his baby mama who he's kinda terrified of (Talia). Selina bullies him the entire time and then updates him on whatever Hot Gotham Gossip she has available. Then they probably beat the shit out of each other again. They're besties.

[the-brash-spud]

I see your "Bruce won't hesitate to adopt Billy" and "Billy tries to beat Bruce away from himself with a stick bc he independed" but I raise you: Batman tries to parent Captain Marvel exactly once -after finding out Billy's identity without his consent- and Billy decides 'bet' and becomes his full time problem

(For the purposes of Batman not being an absolute ass he doesn't tell JL about Billy)

[nixotinix]

bisexual king harvey dent

-- emergency commissions are open, click here for details --

[theglidingbat]

Y'all think a part of Minhkhoa is pissed because Bruce gave him so much shit for killing and yet was so ready to protect clownhunter and give him another chance even tho he literally decided to abandon minhkhoa in the rain or is that just me

[wesavegotham]

I would have more sympathy for people complaining about "Damian being treated as Bruce's only real child because they are related by blood" if Damian didn't literally spent probably over 75% of his existence doing something far away from his father while Bruce doesn't even comment on the fact that he hasn't seen his son in months and has no idea what he's doing.

[oifaaa]

So question, sorry if youve answered this before I haven't seen it in your FAQ. Ive been reading through some Jason centered comics but want to know which ones you think capture his character best. It seems like you have strong opinions on his character and I'd like to see which comics of his best represent him!

depends which Jason we're talking about but if we're focusing on red hood Jason I prefer when he's written by Winnick so that's mostly under the red hood and losts days and then not all but some of batman and robin (I can't remember off the top of my head if it's 2009 or the 2011 run but one of those two)

[th3houseofleaves]

my BODY is MY CREATION!

call me god, call me frankenstein, call me sculptor, call me creator because i am taking what i am owed i am shaping creating making myself over in the image of adam, i will rid myself of this extra rib called longing and i will be bloody and pure and new as i am born again in the body i forged for myself.

INTRODUCING christopher "kit" warren an original character based in the dc comics universe. he is portrayed by jordan gonzalez.

christopher "kit" warren is the civilian identity of the vigilante known as PORTAL, a twenty-six year old meta-human with the ability to warp or teleport short distances (safely). outside of hero work, he's an independent video game developer and graphic designer, though the latter job is more for bringing in a semi steady flow of income rather than a job he does for pleasure. ideally, he'd love to have more time to work on games but he knows that that's not feasible at this point; both for the lack of income and because of his commitment to protect his community. being a hero comes first to him.

kit is originally from star city but moved away in his early twenties. his birth parents died when he was just a baby, his godfather, cole carpenter, took him in and raised him. his home life was fairly chill, he was well taken care of and never went without necessities but it was incredibly clear that cole wasn't prepared to raise a child. he still had growing up to do when he took kit in, since he was only in his early twenties and still hadn't even decided what he wanted to do in life. and while cole did his best, he was more of an older brother figure rather than the parental figure that kit needed.

that being said kit wouldn't change a single thing. he loves cole so much. that's his only real family. plus, there were perks to growing up with a young parent — rules tended to be lax, he had an easier time getting his way if he needed, and, once he was older, he could have fun spending time with his godfather doing things that they'd both enjoy. (one thing they would do together regularly was training at the gym where cole works. it started off as easy stuff, where kit was trying to mirror what cole was doing and gradually became more serious and branched off into kit begging cole to let him seriously train to become a fighter like he was. cole caved fairly fast.)

growing up he, like so many other children, loved superheroes. he'd play pretend with the other kids in his neighborhood and they'd all have their own hero identity (no one ever volunteered to be the villain, it was always more fun to be the good guys because they got all the perks). if anyone asked him during that time, he would've proudly told them that he wanted to be a hero when he grew up, he wanted to save people just like the heroes on the news. it wouldn't be until he was a little older that he'd realise his childish daydream could be reality. (his meta abilities would first manifest when he was around nine or ten, thus paving the way for his eventual decision to become a hero.)

being a meta was only a shock to kit himself, his godfather knew there was a chance he'd be one since both his parents were. the only thing he wouldn't have been able to predict was kit's abilities, which were nothing like his parents'. having a superpower was cool as hell to kit but it was terrible for cole; he now had to wrangle a superpowered child, who wasn't easily convinced that he shouldn't show off his power, and who was capable of evading him without putting much effort into it.

shortly after his abilities first manifested, kit came out to his godfather which caused cole to become more protective of him. he enrolled kit into self defense classes, alongside the training he was already doing with kit, to make sure that kit was able to defend himself when he was on his own. he wasn't about to lose his kid because some asshole didn't approve of his identity.

cole had no way of knowing that kit was going to use those skills when he would sneak out at night, taking his first steps as a hero in his neighborhood. he should've expected it, he really should've, given how serious kit was about becoming a hero but it still nearly gave him a heart attack when he found out. not even because kit told him, no he saw something, when he was reading the news, about a new meta hero that popped up in star city... who appeared to be pretty young (there was questions about how safe it is for a kid to be fighting crime)... and who could seemingly teleport.... and he didn't have to be a genius to figure out that that was HIS idiot teenage wannabe hero. needless to say kit was grounded for a couple weeks after cole found out and they had to have a long discussion about safety and why he shouldn't keep going out, even though cole knew that it wouldn't stop kit from going out. unfortunately.

as he got older he got cockier. he'd investigate riskier cases, he'd patrol outside of his neighborhood, and he stopped trying to stay under the radar of other heroes and vigilantes that happened to be in star city.

at twenty-six years old he's a fairly well established vigilante (& if the whole no metas in gotham fanon rule thing exists, than he's pretty regularly breaking that rule because? he doesn't give a shit about what batman says. he can't stop him.)

additional link: pinterest.

(edit insp.)

[to-the-batcomputer]

people arguing with the no-kill rule and saying murder isn't always that big of a deal or always wrong... i just don't think so. and stating these things as facts. hey man, that's an opinion, or an unknowable truth.

[apatheticsunday]

DPxDC The Guy

AKA "There's a problem, so Jason Todd does the whole 'I know a guy' routine except his guy is Danny Fenton. And Danny literally just stands around and yaps while Jason fixes the problem. The Batfam are like??? Who the hell is this guy??" prompt idea! Lowkey dead on main but can be read as friends! :)

This literally won't leave my brain! I just imagine how hilarious it would be if one of the Batfam had a problem, maybe their bike got messed up while on patrol, and Jason's just like don't worry about it. I know a guy. He calls up some guy named Danny and asks for a favor.

Danny shows up in civvies - just an old NASA hoodie, ripped jeans, and ratty Converse. Dick expects Danny to be a mechanic or something because he's brought a bag of tools, but instead he just deadass starts talking about his day?? And Jason takes the bag, kneels down next to Dick's bike, and works on it while Danny orbits around him yapping nonstop.

Dick's just like?? Why did you even call this guy, he's not even helping???

("Jay, what-," Dick interrupts Danny's rant about his chemistry professor's obsession with Scarecrow, only to be silenced by Jason's murderous glare from beside the motorcycle. Jason nods at Danny to continue and the guy offers a sunny smile before giving a in-depth analysis of why fear toxin is just bad weed. Dick watches from afar as Danny's monologue forces several abrupt, snorting laughs from Jason. It's a sound Dick hasn't heard for years.)

The next time it happens is at the Manor. Jason is helping Alfred cook breakfast in the kitchen; Alfred opens the pantry door and pauses.

"What?" Jason leans around Alfred to peer at the curiously empty glass jar of what was probably flour.

"We seem to have some wayward flour on our hands. How odd, as I restocked it Tuesday." Alfred's tone made it clear he knew exactly who it was (Dick, who's just visited the manor the other day to 'see his siblings', AKA to raid the pantry since he didn't want to go grocery shopping) and there would be consequences.

Jason brushes sugar off his hands and reaches for his phone, almost smiling when he says, "Don't sweat it, Alfie. I know a guy."

Twelve minutes later, Daniel Fenton knocks on the door of Wayne Manor with a bag of flour in hand and coffee from the little cafe near Jason's apartment. Tim and Steph stumble into the kitchen bleary-eyed from late night patrol about two hours later. Only to find Danny sitting at the kitchen island chatting with Alfred and Jason about the English pre-war printing processes. Jason's smile is so wide that his dimples pop against his cheeks. (Tim stares, feeling some sort of... not nostalgia exactly, but something like it. Jason looks younger, grinning wryly at Danny, a streak of flour on his chin. He looks like the old Robin, the one Tim used to take pictures of and quietly idolize. Jason looks... happy.)

It becomes a well-known habit. Sink's broken? Cat stuck in a tree? It gets to a point where the Batfam know that Jason will call Danny for increasingly ridiculous stuff.

Damian: Todd, I require assistance-

Jason: Sure, I know a guy.

Damian: Is it Daniel?

Jason:

Jason: Do you want my help or not, brat?

Except one time it's serious. End-of-the-world, intergalactic crisis, tell-your-kids-you-love-them kind of serious. Jason's hand goes to his phone even as his siblings, his father Batman, and several of the Justice League grimly debate the world's fate. Nightwing notices Jason typing at his phone before the rest do.

"Hood, you can't be serious. You can't involve a civilian in this!"

Jason ignores him and the subsequent outcries of his family, the confusion of Batman and the JL, to press the phone to his ear. This time, however, he doesn't ask for Danny. When the familiar cheeky voice calls out what's cookin', good lookin'? from the phone, Jason's voice is grim when he says, "Phantom, I need a favor."

There's silence. Then, it's almost like an abrupt change in air pressure or the undeniable crush of tectonic plates grinding together. When a green portal pulls apart the fabric of reality, Danny doesn't step out. It's Phantom, High King of Infinite Realms, Space, and Heir to Father Time, clad in regal attire with a crown of white-hot flames nestled into his hair. His steps are sure when he walks past the tense crowd of superheroes.

"You called?" Phantom asks. His unnatural Lazarus-green eyes burn into Jason, but there's a midwestern twang in his voice that's so reminiscent of Danny that Jason can't help a small huffing laugh.

Jason turns back to his family and the JL, gesturing to Danny. His family have already made the connection. Likely because Danny's accent, the subtle similarities between Danny's human appearance and his Realms appearance, and the fact that there's only one person Jason ever calls. Danny turns to the League with a bright smile and introduces himself as, "Danny Phantom, but you can call me Phantom."

(And then they kiss!! Just kidding. But Danny probably saves the world and then they go back to the Manor, much to the confusion of the batfam. The batfam are all like, wtf, Jason?? You didn't tell us the guy you've been hanging out with all the time was the freakin' King of Infinite Realms?? And Jason just shrugs, and is like, well... I guess living with him kinda desensitizes you to all the ghostly shit? That's how the batfam find out Jason and Danny are living together. Are they boyfriends?? Maybe, maybe not. But it seems suspicious that Jason's always calling Danny, seemingly just because he likes being around him, hm? ;))

[hbatfam98]

I refuse to accept that Bruce being mad at Jason for killing is canon. It makes no sense.

Batman can't kill. Sure partially because he never wants anyone to lose family like he did even if that family is criminal. But that doesn't apply to people like the Joker. Who's going to miss Joker? The people who he mentally broke? No, the reason batman doesn't kill people like the joker - truly purely vile and evil human beings is because than vengeance will swallow him and he knows it. He knows that if he crosses that line, he may not return. He'll want to kill every criminal who hurts someone. So, for the safety of Gotham, so that he doesn't become an overlord, he doesn't kill.

But that doesn't mean no one else can. So as far as I am concerned the canon version is:

Batman:*concerned that his son is killing and might lose himself and default to killing instead of trying to save* Don't kill the joker

Red hood:*kills Joker*

Batman:...

Red hood:...*doesn't just go around killing redeemable characters. Employs low level criminals and treats them fairly. Takes care of children in crime Alley.*

Batman:...ok. Alfred is making lasagna, wanna come home for dinner son?

Edit: I love the discussions about this for the most part but just to clarify - the dialogue but is mostly crack. Obviously things aren't going to be quite so simple.

In fact, if u want my more serious take on this I think what frustrates me more than anything with people making Batman so 1D in my opinion when it comes to the killing rule is 1. Inconsistent, others in the DCU have killed/wanted or willing to kill and Batman didn't have that much of a problem with all of them. But 2. and more Jason specific is I don't think killing Joker is the crux of their issue. If I (woefully unskilled as I am) was allowed to write Jason, sure he would be mad at Bruce for not killing the Joker initially but the real problem he has with Bruce, whether he realises or not, is that Bruce moved on. Sure everyone did but, Bruce was the one who chose him - how could he move on? And that will be the real center of why the two of them can't go back to being the way they were no matter what. While Jason was going through being resurrected and every horror of rebirth and the pit, he also realises that the world just .. moved on without him. He comes back and every trace of the his own world seems to be gone. Even worse - how did they move on? By branding him as a rash, foolish Robin and all he hears is that they all think he deserved to die that's why they accepted it and moved on.

(Might come and rewrite this better with Bruce's side and how every step he took in 'moving on' was actually so warped by his unending grief but more importantly - yes the dialogue was lighthearted, I am aware it can never be that simple for Bruce and Jason)

[imheretoreadafic]

When Bruce was new to the whole having children thing, he was always stepping in and trying to break up fights. His resolve was quickly broken, and he just decided to put rules on fighting out problems. No breaking anything, no weapons, no hitting face, neck, or groin, and no knockouts.

Batman leaned against the wall and casually watched as Robin and Red Robin beat the shit out of each other. The JL glanced at each other.

"You... You gonna do something about that, Bats?" Barry asks cautiously.

"It's been a long time coming." Bruce grunts. "Let them handle it." A hit to the jaw lands on Damian, and he shouts at them: "AY, KEEP IT AWAY FROM THE FACE!"

"FUCK OFF!" Tim screams but he doesn't punch Damian in the face again.

Diana nods. "I approve of this parenting technique. Sometimes problems need to be solved with some bruises and blood." Bruce nods as well.

"I've found breaking up their fights just means they still get bruised but no issue is solved." Batman explains and Diana hums thoughtfully.

"Would it not also be adequate to have them duel?"

"No, they do actual damage if i let them have a weapon.

"Ah, I suppose that makes sense."

Everyone is horrified.

[nonokoko13]

Why can't people like a celebrity without imagine them as queer? Can't people like Taylor music without go saying she's lesbian/queer when she hasn't said anything about that. Pretty sure if she was attracted to women she would have already said it 🫠

Even in the hypothetical scenario where she was queer indeed pressuring somebody to come out or out them yourself is selfish, stupid, dangerous, toxic and overall fucked up (-᷅_-᷄)

We have so many queer pop icons out of the closet but you need to headcanon your favourite ally/het as lgbt for...comfort reasons? Just because she's your fav? Because you are queer? Dude she's not a fictional character can you not spread false information or discuss real people orientations and just enjoy their content 💀

all goofing aside I genuinely don't understand the urge to reimagine Taylor Allison Swift as a secretly queer icon when the pop music scene(TM) is like. literally overflowing with women who actually like women. Gaga and Kesha and Miley and Halsey are right there. Rina Sawayama and Hayley Kiyoko and Rebecca Black and Kehlani and Victoria Monét and Miya Folick if you're willing to get slightly less top 100. Janelle and Demi for them nonbinary takes on liking girls. like what are we doing here. like I'm not even saying you can't enjoy Taylor but why would you hang all your little gay hopes on her.

[thevoidstaredback]

A funny thought just came to me, so here's a new writing prompt:

The Justice League doesn't think that Batman has a civilian identity. For the most part, he only ever comes out at night, adding to the nocturnal rumors, but he has been seen during the day when there are huge problems or bigger rouge attacks.

And, because the JL don't think he has a civilian identity, they naturally assume that none of the other Gotham Vigilantes do, either. Signal, the only consistent day shift, is obviously a different breed than the rest. All of the others are nocturnal.

Extra points if they think they're a group of cryptids.

One day, Bruce and Tim are needed to help set up at WE for a press conference. One that Lois Lane is covering. At the same time, the JL Is having a meeting. Normally Dick would put on the Batman suit, but Nightwing is needed at the meeting, too. They can't say that Batman is off world, because all of those trips are logged and followed by the Lanterns. So, the next logical thing to do is for Nightwing to tell the JL that Batman and Red Robin were needed as civilians, but he will make sure to pass the information on to them, as well as record the meeting.

"Batman doesn't have a civilian identity," Is the response he gets. "None of you do, right?"

Nightwing, for all his training, doesn't react outside of his smile getting slightly bigger. "You don't think we have secret identities?"

"No, we kinda just assumed you all just hid away in a cave or something when you weren't needed or on duty."

Oh, these sweet summer children. Nightwing is trying very hard not to laugh at them. "We, we do have secret identities, we don't do nothing when we aren't in costume."

"Are you sure?" That's the Flash. "'Cause I'm pretty sure we'd recognize you guys out of costume." Kudos to him for being so confident about that. "Most of you only have tiny masks over your eyes. That's not enough to cover an identity."

Nightwing takes a glance at Superman, not that anyone can see his eyes move behind the domino mask. The alien's eyes have shifted left.

"I've been to Gotham plenty of time," Green Arrow speaks up, "I know I haven't seen everyone in the city, but I'm pretty sure I'd recognize your build. It's pretty distinct."

Bold. All of the Wayne Clan have met Green Arrow in and out of costume. They've actually met most of the JL in and out of costume. Should he tell them? Nah, that's not funny. He can't wait to tell the others.

[myeyebagsaredesigner]

I think it'd be funny if the bats often forget that Duke patrols during the day, and not during the night like them.

Bruce is out on a mission with Damian by his side. They require assistance, and he reaches out to Barbara.

Bruce: "Oracle. Send for backup."

Barbara: "On it. Who do you need?"

Bruce: "Call in Signal."

Barbara:

Barbara: "Signal? Are- are you sure?"

Bruce: "Yes? What's the problem?"

Damian, rolling his eyes: "Batman, Signal is sleeping."

Bruce: "Why would he be sleeping?"

Damian:

Barbara:

Bruce: ??

Dick and Tim, chillin up on a rooftop eating Batburger

Dick: "Man, this new burger recipe is awesome."

Tim: "Yeah, Duke would like this one."

Dick: "You're right. We should've invited him."

Tim: "Yeah, we should've."

Tim:

Tim: "Wait. Something's wrong here."

Dick: ??

Tim: "I feel as though I'm forgetting something.."

The bats are leaving from an all hands on deck situation, minus Duke. They're regrouping up on top of a building.

Jason: "What does Duke even do during the night?"

Bruce: "Codenames on the field-"

Jason: "What does Duke even do during the night?"

Damian: "Well, he sleeps, of course."

Tim: "Yeah, he has to."

Steph: "You're not the best example for that."

Tim: "Well I- yeah, I guess."

Cass: "He relaxes. Possibly."

Dick: "Does he not have any friends?"

Jason: "Guys, does Duke not have a life?"

Bruce: "Codenames on the-"

Steph: "Of course he does! Why wouldn't he?"

Jason: "He literally patrols during the day."

Bruce: "Does.. does my kid really not have a life?"

Damian: "For shame, father. You have let Thomas get to this point."

Cass: "Shame." *Shakes head disapprovingly*

Bruce: "I.. I am ashamed."

They all try to figure out what Duke actually does with his time, and they follow him one night when he leaves the manor. He goes into a sketchy looking place, and they follow him in a few minutes after. To their shock, they walk into a club, and immediately see Duke in a dance off with Harley Quinn.

Bruce: "Duke? Harley??"

Harley: "Oh hey batsy! In the middle of somethin here-" *Twirls*

Duke, shimmying down to the floor, not even looking at them: "Yeah, aren't you supposed to be somewhere else right now?"

Dick: "Aren't you supposed to be sleeping right now?"

Duke, switching to a simple side step to look at them: "What? I come here every week."

Tim: "Every week?"

Duke: "I have night classes for pottery on Wednesdays."

Damian: "What?"

Duke: "Book club on Thursdays."

Jason: "Oh shit, yeah I do that with you."

Bruce: "Jason!"

Jason: "What? Can't a guy forget some possibly helpful information?"

Duke is very confused, because his nightly outings were not new information. He's spoken about it before. He's mentioned his dance rival. He posts about it on his Instagram. He doesn't understand the shock. Why is his family of detectives so stupid?