#Bernard Kates

[wise-blue-cookies]

All members of the batfam share their taste in partners -

Goddess like dangerous knife woman who u wish to have ur neck snapped between their thighs

Pathetic mew mew men

[garpen]

Pt. 11 Gotham Twitter AU

More Q&A questions for Bruce to come, just spacing them out. Feel free to ask him a question if you want and I'll do my best to add it in.

Sorry no Timberkon until the next part, but no worries it's already written in.

<<Part Ten<< Master List >>Part Twelve>>

[badmovieihave]

Bad movie I have The Babe 1992

[incorrectbatfam]

Our next theory, brought forth by Bernard Dowd, is that Batman and Batwoman are the same genderfluid person

[blurrilines]

This was TDR 9 right?

[clericxhood777]

Part fourteen; Lex Luthor and his unpaid child support

[bibibusinessman]

if the batkids partners have to beat Bruce in a fight to marry his kids who has the best chance at winning

[thebirdsandthebats]

I am STILL thinking about how awkward any family holiday Tim brings Bernard to is going to be after his beef with Kate in TDR. gay lesbian hostility was real for a moment. they’re mostly fine now but there’s always an awkward side eye every time one of them enters the room. Bernard sadly eats his dinner without salt or pepper bc the shakers are in front of Kate and he doesn’t want to ask her to pass them. Kate stands to watch the TV at one point bc the only empty spot is next to Bernard. Neither will acknowledge the elephant in the room and Tim is so stressed (but also it’s a little 🤏 bit funny)

[shyjusticewarrior]

[morgangalaxy43]

I love them in Wayne Family Adventures

[yuriinadress]

I AM SCREAMING BECAUSE THEY KNOW

They BOTH know that Tim is doing the wrong thing in this particular situation, but it's worse for Bernard because he expected better from Tim. He expected his boyfriend to at least comfort him before Robin tried to get information. He knows it was going to happen eventually, but he still expected better

Like Jesus fucking christ Tim, way to rub salt on the re-opened trauma wound

[superiorgoobus]

Batfam as shit my friends say/do

Tim: if I was running on ice, I'd wear grippy socks

Jason: yeah it would make sense that you have grippy socks

Tim: .... fuck you

-

Jason: *trying to send a text* goddamn I can't type shit, my fingers are so cold

Steph: sounds like a you problem bud

Jason: it's gonna be a you problem when I throw your ass in a snowbank

-

Dick: haha that looks like a dildo

Duke: must you say that about every cylindrical rubber object you see?

Dick: yes.

-

Steph: hey, did I mention I hate that guy?

Cass: only fifteen times today.

-

Tim, sleep deprived: it would appear as though I have holes in my pants.

Damian: tt. those are ripped jeans. You bought them that way.

-

Dick: that guys phone is really long... and thin... just like a penis...

Duke: I am going to end you.

-

Harper: *at a Gotham knights game* IM BLIND! IM DEAF! I WANNA BE A REF!

-

Jason: I still can't fucking type...

Steph: you know what that is?

Jason: if you say-

Steph: that's a you problem bud

Jason: every time you say that it makes me more and more pissed off.

Steph: if it makes you feel better, I once said that to a guy who said if I broke up with him he's kill himself. I also told him I didn't give a shit if he died.

Jason: that is hilarious.

-

Bruce: dear god I don't want to go outside.

Clark: we're at a hockey game. You had to go outside to get here.

Bruce: well I don't want to do it again.

-

Steph: I can't believe it's -25 out, and some people showed up to class wearing just sweatshirt and jeans. This is Gotham University, no one thinks you're cool, just a dumbass.

-

Tim: *starts an argument with Kon over yikyak despite the fact they're sitting on the same couch*

-

Steph: so then my girlfriend at the time said-

Tim: you know, I probably wouldn't have hooked up with you if I knew you were a lesbian.

Steph: ... I'm not a lesbian. I'm bisexual.

Tim: oh.

-

Damian: where is my knife... I can't find my knife...

Dick: you know scissors would be way more affective for what you're trying to do, right?

Damian: yes but for aesthetic purposes I want to use a knife.

-

Tim: *mixing an alcoholic drink with blue in it*

Bernard: damn, Tim trynna kill with windex over here

-

Dick: I can't believe no one told me there was a new season of Letterkenny out!!!

Jason: hey guess what?

Dick: what

Jason: there's a new season of letterkenny out

Dick: fuck you

-

Steph: hey, zip tie my hands so I can try to get out.

Cass: no, why would I-

Harper: oh fuck yeah

Steph: *cuts her hand trying to escape the zip ties* oh, dude, look! Now I look cool!

-

Cass: *is wearing a sport bra while exercising*

Steph: Cass!!! Stop being naked every time I see you!!

Cass: ???

-

Tim: *sends Bernard a Snapchat using the peach emoji filter*

Bernard: oh my god... the booty emoji...

-

Kate: *has a sign on her office wall that says "all things are possible through sarcasm and profanity." *

-

Tim: *snaps Steph a picture of a drink with an ingredient he's allergic to in it* the urge to drink this to see if it kills me it outrageous

-

Jason: would you like a cake pop?

Damian: a cake... a what?

Jason: a cake pop?

Damian: what on earth is a cake pop?

Jason: DICK NEVER BOUGHT YOU A CAKEPOP? We are resolving this problem today. Get in the Batmobile, we're going to Starbucks and buying you a dozen cake pops.

Damian: you still haven't told me what a cake pop is.

Jason: imagine a lollipop, but cake. And spherical.

Damian: spherical cake?

Jason: yes, spherical cake.

Damian: ... how...

Jason: get your ass in the car and I'll show you how.

[garpen]

Pt. 29 Gotham Twitter AU

<<Part 28<< Happy Birthday Tim Master List >>Part 30>>

FOUR days without an update, sorry yall my brain was dried up. Hope the asks have kept you entertained while you waited. Anyways feel free to ask questions for the Q&A!

I posted a fic if anybody is interested. Mind the tags and TW at begining notes: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57526144

For the Supernatural reference: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTNmpY9fV/

Got up to 105°F (40°C) today. But I live with no a/c and little ventilation in my home so inside was like 106°. Plus my room has NO air circulation at all so like 107° in there. And for whatever reason I thought today would be a great day to deep clean. I'm 🥵 rn.

[sockich]

The only way to save her... is to sacrifice myself. / Tim takes care of everyone... but sometimes he needs someone to take care of him. / I thought I needed to make my way in the world alone. I thought I was alone. But I'm not. None of us are. Sometimes you have to accept that you're loved. Sometimes you have to accept that you're home.

Tim Drake: Robin #10 by Meghan Fitzmartin, art by Nikola Čižmešija

[incorrectbatfam]

How do the members of the Batfam announce their engagement?

Dick: Guys, I have an announcement.

Stephanie: This better be worth interrupting my waffle time.

Dick: Wally and I are engaged!

*crickets*

Stephanie: Can you pass the syrup?

———————

Kate: You better not wear that to my wedding.

Bruce, tying his tie: Wedding? Are you even engaged?

Kate: *picks her nails, smiling*

Bruce: No way.

Kate: Mhm. Asked Renee last night.

Bruce: What'd she say?

Kate: What do you THINK she said, dumbass?

———————

Tim: Toss me the Riddler file.

Bruce: *grunts*

Tim: Also I'm engaged to Bernard.

Tim: And Kon.

Tim: And Bart felt left out so we included him in too.

Bruce: *grunts*

———————

Barbara: Not to break the fourth wall, but I know how to end this ship war for good.

Barbara: *turns to Kory*

Barbara: The courthouse closes at five. If we leave now we can make it in time to get married.

Kory: I have a dentist's appointment. Can we go tomorrow?

Barbara: Sure, engaged for a day and married by tomorrow. But we have a tight schedule.

Steph: That sounded fun. Hey Cass, wanna do the same?

Cass, shrugging: Sure.

Kate: What in the U-Haul did I just witness?

———————

Bruce: Selina Kyle, will you marry me?

Selina: Yes, I will.

Dick, from the rafters: Whoo!

Stephanie, ripping off her disguise: Get it, B-man!

Cass, in the corner: *nods in approval*

Jason, from the floorboards: About damn time.

Tim, behind the lamp: My legs were getting tired.

Damian, inside a plant: This took entirely too long.

Duke, materializing from the shadows: For real though, congrats.

Barbara, via a speaker: This wasn't my idea, just so you know.

———————

Roy: Oh good, you're both here.

Bruce: Yeah, but why?

Oliver: I was wondering that too.

Bruce: Get your own thoughts.

Oliver: Like your signature brood doesn't come from the Grey Ghost end card.

Jason: There's something important we have for you.

Jason: *gets down on one knee*

Jason: Roy Harper, will you do me the honor of pissing our dads off and marrying me?

Roy, tearing up: Oh Jason, of course I will.

———————

Damian during all this:

[linusbenjamin]

Lost | 5.16 'The Incident Part I'