#Dick and Bruce panicked

[arrowmaker15]

(Halloween day)

Dick, dressed up as Wally's version of the Flash: Are we ready!?

Damian, grumbling as he walks down the stairs in a cheaply made Batman suit: The superior Robin is ready.

Jason, stepping out of the side entrance wearing a genderbent Wonder Woman outfit: I am here, thanks Demon Brat.

Tim, stepping out in a Superboy outfit: Yeah, I guess I'm ready.

Jason: Please tell me that's actually one of Connor's shirts.

Tim: No comment.

Cass, hopping down from the ceiling in a Black Canary outfit:

Dick: You look great Cass. Everyone else!?

Duke, moving into the room dressed as Black Lightning: Yeah, I guess I'm ready.

Bruce, appearing from the shadows wearing a classic Superman uniform, underwear on the outside: *grunts*

(A knock on the door, which Dick opens)

Barbara, dressed in her actual old Batgirl uniform minus the gadgets while in the wheelchair: Howdy, boys.

Steph, dressed accurately (really detailed) as Red Hood: Hiiii.

Everyone:

Jason: You have never been hotter, Steph.

Dick: Jason!

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 219

Ellie would like it to be known that she didn’t do this on purpose. But what was she supposed to do when she found another clone? Not grab him before he could be brainwashed for evil? He’s a baby! Okay not literally, but as the older clone, she declares him baby! 

Hey Danny, do you want a son? She found him in a whale! Yeah? Sweet, new tiny stabby brother!

[daemonmage]

I keep thinking about this AU where Bruce just stays in college and becomes a doctor but still gets dragged into the superhero world.

Ok so Bruce is a doctor and is known for never turning down a patient because he’s still Bruce and he just doesn’t want anyone to die. He still lives in Gotham which is still a horrible place. He still tries to help Gotham by donating and creating his Wayne foundation but it’s hard because the inherent corruption in Gotham hinders anything he does this way.

The mob is still super active in Gotham and a lot of Batman’s rogues still happen because a lot of his rogues just happen with or without Batman. Poison Ivy still becomes an ecoterrorist. Penguin still becomes a powerful mob boss. Mad Hatter is still just the worst. Tommy probably still tries to kill Bruce. Just so many of Gotham’s rogues still exist, except there is no hero to stop them in Gotham. People try, but Gotham is never kind to any hero. Bruce is immensely frustrated by all this but he can’t really do anything. Hell sometimes Lesly’s clinic (cause I feel like he would work there) gets harassed and extorted to help heal mob members and crime wars. He hates this a lot but he’s trapped. He doesn’t have Batman training or gear, the best he can do is help where he can.

However there are still other heroes in this world and Superman is literally just a quick flight away. The JL forms without a Batman and they see Gotham as a powder keg. So they try to help when they can and sometimes they get injured. It comes to a head when a Metropolis (Lex Luthor specifically) and some Gotham rogues team up to get rid of the main hero pain in their necks. Lex creates kryptonite bullets and disperses them to the Gotham rogues to use. Lex sees this as a win because he can get Superman killed without doing much and the Gotham rogues see this as a win cause they have a big weapon against Superman.

So Superman gets shot at with kryptonite bullets. They aren’t the best so they hurt him but only one really makes it through and hits his skin. He has to call in back up and the JL comes to help. I can image Wonder Woman or Flash getting there first. They have no idea what to do because holy shit Superman was shot. That shouldn’t happen! But they’ve heard of this doctor in Gotham that’s supposed to be really good. Maybe Oliver or Dinah suggest Bruce idk. So they take Superman to Dr. Bruce Wayne.

Dr. Bruce Wayne is at his manor with Alfred and a young Dick Grayson (because I firmly believe Bruce would still adopt the kids) and then there is a knock on the door. Alfred goes to answer and in barges the Justice League with a bleeding Superman. Bruce is immediately on his feet barking orders to the JL to get equipment he can use and telling Dick and Alfred to stay back. He doesn’t know what’s going on or how freaking Superman is bleeding out in front of him but he doesn’t care. Bruce realizes quickly that the bullet is cause Clark more pain so it can’t be a leave the bullet in there scenario. He gets the bullet out and asks the JL how to help Clark heal. They say sunlight helps but this is Gotham! It’s polluted and over cast all the time, he won’t be able to get enough sunlight. Bruce remembers a sunlamp they have from a science experiment for Dick. He tells Dick to go get it and they pray that it works. It does by some miracle, though it’s no substitute for actual sunlight.

The League is grateful for Bruce and Clark is also immensely grateful cause holy shit he got shot. The Justice League has to now figure out how these bullets got out in the first place and well Bruce can’t help but be nosy so he mentions that a few of his patients, the mob ones, let it slip that the higher ups got into contact with someone in metropolis and Bruce knows Lex hates Superman. So he helps them out a bit too.

And after that any time they need help with some medical issue they go to super doctor Bruce. He’s also still Bruce and can’t ignore his detective brain so he helps them with mysteries too from time to time. Idk I feel like this still needs more fleshing out but I think it could be funny. Or sad. Or both.

[olddustorange]

Theres a fic I’ve been trying to write since 2019 and ive finally been making a ton of progress just because it’s finals week but i am soooo happy writing it like just thinking about it and the act of writing it has been so genuinely fun in a way that writing mostly never is for me

[msfcatlover]

I'm spit between frosying at the mouth and sobing over your "If Worst Comes To Worse" time travel au. Some incredibly galaxy brained ideas. Is Bruce affected by any of this? I feel like if, and thats a BIG if, he notices anything "off", any further investigation would just send him tumbling down multiple sortaconnected rabbit holes of confusion. (Maybe the universe let him sit this one out. He's gonna be upset enough learning about his children's deaths in other timelines)

Listen. Every single Robin knows the secret Robin motto: “What Bruce doesn’t know, Bruce can’t make more problems out of.”

(Bruce does notice Dick being weird—hard not to, when they went from not speaking at all, to one very pleasant family dinner, to Dick picking a fight, to “I’m moving back to Gotham for a little while for a case. Stay out of it, stay out of my business, this was a courtesy call.”—and once Bruce finishes with his, “Was it me??? Did I do something???” moping, he’ll be engaging detective mode.)

…Let’s just say, Tim “I Can Fix It By Joining A Supervillain Cult” Drake is not the only one who might have Batman as an antagonist for a little while.

[wildrosesayshigh3]

Is it weird how I want Batman to take a life. And not accidentally either I want him to take a life on purpose it can either be fueled by raw emotion or because he had quite literally no other choice. I want him to take a life and deal with the aftermath.

B could lean on agent a, Gordon, and Selina in the aftermath since he won’t lean on his kids and students. Relearn what he already knew the world is not black or white and that also involves killing.

He could slow down on patrol in the aftermath giving more room for his children to flourish. Spend actual father son time with Damian merging back into his life as a parent. Throwing himself into Wayne Enterprise as a way to cope when he’s not with his kids .

Meanwhile everyone else who isn’t James Gordon, Alfred, or Selina is freaking out. They don’t know why he’s pulling away, why he’s slowing down, they don’t know anything and Bruce can’t won’t tell them. Babs doesn’t know what’s going on either. Maybe Kate has an inkling but that’s it.

Bruce is contemplating everything. Suddenly life has been flipped on its head and now he has to go to therapy because Alfred is putting his foot down. He isn’t budging because taking a life is different for everyone and he needs to talk to a professional.

I want Bruce/Batman to take a life and I want him to think about what this means because the person he was before and after are different. I want this to force him to look at his own actions and fucking apologize.

[dramatisperscnae]

Dick Grayson every day of his goddamn life tbh

[p0ssym1lker]

Bruce getting asked who his favorite child is and panicking™

Bruce: .... Danny

Most of the Batfam: who?

Dick: oh yeah fair

Damian: who's.... Danny

Dick: my childhood friend, Bruce tried to adopt him but got bodied by Danny's parents and sister, he's still not over it

Bruce: I am over it-

Dick: then throw away the adoption papers with his name on it-

Bruce, gasping: no

[emotional-piece-of-meat]

Tim & Damian: *do the siblings bounding aka fights with their feet while minding their own business*

Bruce, randomly entering the room: Did you two do the thing I told you to do?

Tim, having no idea what they needed to do: pff, obviously.

Damian, also having no idea what they needed to do: we wouldn't let you down, father.

Bruce: good.

Bruce: *stands like a dad in complete silence for a while and then leaves them panicking about the task they forgot about*

Literally in the next room.

Dick, hanging from the chandelier: why don't you ever clarify their task?

Jason, suspiciously peacefully reading in the corner: yeah, just remind them what they need to do.

Bruce, with his fucked up sense of humour: Oh, they didn't have any task, I'm just messing with them.

Dick, having flashbacks of how he and Jason were losing their shit every single time, trying to remember what they need to do: that's... Pure evil...

Jason, remembering that one time he almost cried because he thought he was a failure and Bruce was going to disown him: YOU MOTHERFUCKER!

[glow-in-the-dark-death]

Just a little idea

What if when Tim went off to look for Batman when he was lost in time he bumped into Phantom.

They made a Deal

Phantom knowing CW helped him find Bruce and how to get him back safely, Phantom in return for reasons (hurt badly & recovering, or evolving in power) needed someone very ecto-contaminated (Ra's fault) like Tim, to be contained in.

From a magic user point of view, knowing very little of the GZ and how they work, Tim made a very powerful Deal with a powerful death being (High Ghost King Phantom: Hello!) and is now somehow pregnant (not really but they don't know that)

Danny while inside Tim inside his core can still hear the world outside normally and can share his emotions with Tim to communicate. Which looks a lot like Tim is speaking to his belly just like expecting parents do.

This could be angst or crack

or

my personal favourite, different genres for different pov's

Tim's would be happy, just regular getting his life back together being a total BAMF, coming of age type of vibe

The rest of the Batfam and other heroes pov would be angst, paranormal, psychological horror.

Misunderstandings galore

Dick regretting heavily his decisions which caused Tim to run away because he did not believe him and he has many Regrets.

Bruce feeling guilty that Tim felt the need to make such a decision as to make a Deal and end up pregnant just to bring him back.

Meanwhile the magic users have told the other heroes about Tim's situation and now think that he's going to give birth to the child of a very powerful death being and if something happens to Tim to risk the baby it would cause all of their worlds destruction.

so pretty much-

Tim-Girl Boss, Gatekeep, Gaslight

Batfam- Much Angst

Others- *panicked chicken noises*

~

Just an Idea

[deadsetobsessions]

He could overlook a lot of things, but this was getting ridiculous. You’d think seasoned vigilantes would have better excuses prepared, but Danny had caught that flash of panic that crossed Tim’s face as Danny came face to face with Tim dragging an unconscious Steph to her designated room in the manor.

“Uh.”

“Danny! Uh, Stephanie brained herself- uh, sliding down the bannisters and- pleasedon’ttellBruce.”

Danny blinks, staring at Tim and then very pointedly, very slowly, turned his head back towards the direction he came from: the main hall… where the bannisters were. He wonders what vigilante hijinks they were trying to hide from B this time.

Tim coughs, trying to inch Stephanie away. “Uh. She was doing… cartwheels?”

Danny let his eyes slowly take in the bruises that were clearly not from “cartwheeling in the mansion” on the both of them. There’s a huge bandaged cut on Steph’s forearm and a giant bruise on the edge of Tim’s jaw. Tim’s face twitches nervously, not that anyone else would have noticed- except Danny has enhanced ghost senses and could feel the panic coming off of his adopted brother.

“You know…” Shit, what does he do? Not knowing would be so much easier if these idiots gave him good excuses! “I don’t think I want to know what you two have been up to… but should I be worried for your, uh, physical health?”

“Nope!”

“… Okay.” He says. Tim opens his mouth to make further excuses but Danny adds quickly, “But don’t tell me, because if Bruce asks, I want plausible deniability.”

Cartwheels, Danny’s ghostly ass. Luckily, this show of doubt reaffirms Tim’s belief that Danny believes them all of the other times. Danny grins inwardly, planning capitalizing on the guilt that flashed over Tim’s face.

“Deal.”

“Want help?” The halfa points at Steph, who’s still being dragged over the carpet by a noodle armed Tim. Danny knows Tim’s strong, he’s a vigilante, but it’s funny watching him pretend to struggle.

“Please. I’m so tired right now.” He looks it too. Danny’s brows furrow with genuine concern when he takes in Tim’s drowned raccoon look. He picks up Steph, firmly removing her from Tim’s suddenly weak grip. Being careful to avoid her injuries, Danny nods at the door to her room. Tim cracks it open and does a little showy gesture towards the inside.

“C’mon, we’ll tuck her in and then I’ll tuck you in.”

“What, you don’t have to do that.”

“If you don’t let me tuck you in and make sure you sleep, I’ll tell Alfred who really accidentally poured boiling hot coffee on his azaleas last week. And I’ll sic Dick on you and tell him you haven’t been sleeping enough.”

“You drive a hard bargain,” Tim grumbles. “But fine. It’s really not my fault I’m this tired. A missing spleen is hard to handle, you know.”

“Yeah, missing an organ sucks,” Danny says, shit eating grin hidden long enough to catch the contemplative bloodhound look that passes over Tim’s face.

“Which- uh, which one of your organs is missing?”

“Liver.” Danny says, remembering the flashes of pain. He tilts his head away to hide the grin at Tim’s panicked face.

When he tucks Tim in, he pretends to believe Tim’s sleeping act and left his room while mumbling about the Wayne’s clumsiness and bruises and stocking up on bruise cream. He couldn’t even enjoy Tim’s floundering, this time, worried as he is.

——

“Brother.” Danny half turns his head, just to beam a sunny smile at Cass. He signs an exuberant hello. The halfa hangs up his coat as he addresses his adopted sister.

“Cass! What’s up?”

“Dinner.” She smiles back, signing that Alfred wanted them to the dinning room post haste. The main dining room, because rich people were fruit loops and Batman is totally included. Cassandra looks down and gasps.

What…?

Oh. Fuck. Danny glances down. He genuinely forgot about that.

“Huh.”

“Okay?” Suddenly, Cass is right next to him, hand reached out and hovering over the actual knife Danny forgot was sticking out of him. At least it’s where his liver should be, so he won’t have to pretend.

“Oh. Yeah, I’m good. Don’t have a liver.” Danny decides on the spot that he’s not gonna mess with Cass. She smiled the same as him. “Got mugged on the way back but I think they said I could keep the knife, right?”

“Danny.” She’s frowning at him. He feels like he just kicked tiny Cujo. But he doesn’t feel bad enough to blurt everything out.

“Here. You can have it if you want?” Danny casually pulls out the knife and holds the wound together with his bare hands. Cass looks more alarmed. She bodily picks up Danny and starts running.

“Woah!”

Cass throws him at Alfred, gently.

“Miss Cassandra! Why, I never-!” Alfred pauses in surprise.

“Uh. Wow, Cass. You’re really strong.” Danny pipes up, hand still over his gushing wound.

She ignores him, pointing at Danny and telling Alfred, “Hurt. Got mugged. Dumb.”

“Hey! It’s not my fault Gothamites are ready to jump people at any moment. Besides, it’s daytime. It’s not like the vigilante furries are out to save my butt. I think I did really well coming back safe, you know?”

“Hurt. Forgot the knife. Was in him.”

“Master Danny!”

Danny pouts. He also knows there’s a discreet camera in the corners of the sitting room, so he’s definitely hoping he could phase into the cave when Barbara eventually tells the group that he called them “vigilante furries.”

Alfred clucks his tongue and set to work patching him up. Danny tries not to bask in the careful way Alfred tended to his wounds. It reminds him too much of Jazz, if Jazz was British and a man with greying hair.

But because they were watching him and he was watching them in return, Danny noticed the moment Alfred’s hands stalled and Cass’ gaze got intense. What now…?

Oh, fuck, his vivisection scar. Oops. Danny smiled, channeling Dani (his lovely clone sister) at her most innocent.

Cass smiled back, just as sunnily, fists tightening at her side in repressed fury.

——

“Cass? Why’d you call us?”

“Yeah, baby bat. I got a couple o’ smugglers to talk to.”

Cass paces.

“What is it, Cassandra?” Damian tuts impatiently.

“Danny. Has… scars. Autopsy. But was struggling. When cut.”

“What.”

“A vivisection, Master Jason.” Alfred’s voice was crisp and eerily cold. His hands are folded, rage only held back by his sheer will and a well practiced sense of propriety.

“We find. Who hurt him,” Cass snarls. “We. End.”

Jason’s eyes glint green, hands going to his guns. “Fine. By. Me.”

“It does tie in with the dead comment. I wonder what happened to him.” Tim clacks away at the bat computer, furiously looking into the matter already. Bruce has taken to prowling, stressed out at the prospect of one more of his children- not a vigilante at that- getting hurt the way Jason had. Worse, even. A vivisection. He was alive, dissected. Aware enough to struggle. Dick looked like he was torn about hunting down and lunging at whoever hurt Danny to rip their throats out with his bare teeth versus the urge to go back up to the manor and wrap Danny in bubble wrap.

In the corner, Danny was having a quiet breakdown because he came here to watch them react to vigilante furries, not offering to murder the people who vivisected him. What the fuck?? He ran his hands through his hair, invisible.

——

“Oh, by the way, we should consider more daytime shifts.”

“Why?” Spoiler asks Barbara.

“Danny got mugged. And called us the nightly furries.”

“The fuckin’ what-?” Jason chokes out, laughing. Bruce stops his pacing, body language becoming slightly offended.

Danny muffles a laugh only Alfred would have heard.

[black-lone-knight]

I love the idea of Tim and Bruce being the two smartest people in batfam; So they occasionally say weird things that only they can understand.

Dick, panicked: OH MY GOD! I asked Kory out. What should I do now? What if she won't like me?

Bruce: Schrödinger's cat.

Dick:

Dick: ...what?

Tim: He's saying you won't findout unless you actually try it and go on a date with her.

Dick: Aww! That's so nice. Thanks, B.

Jason: Who's Schrödinger's cat?

...

Tim, with soaked shirt:

Duke: What happened?

Tim: The driving frequency corresponded to the resonance frequency of coffee, therefore the sloshing amplitude reached its maximum.

Duke: Say what again??

Bruce: He spilled his coffee.

Duke:

Duke: ...right.

Jason: Fucking weirdos.

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 290

Ghosts have the habit of taking names of those they’ve defeated. Not in spars or play-fights of course, and one has to actually be an adult for the instinct to hit, but it happens. It happens far more often than one would think. 

Jason? Actually has no clue when he comes back to the living why he stole one of the Joker’s older names, nor why the Pit goes so angry when he thinks about Robin- HisTitleHisFraidNameFromFamily- 

Now the Pit? Not a baby semi-near the cusp of adulthood, in fact is Very Old even if it’s more hivemind-esque then a full on realms entity. Very offended for the Baby it was gifted, because who takes that from a literal infant?! 

Oh! Oh that’s another baby! Hm, change of plans, obviously the baby is also its. Because while adult ghosts trying to forcefully take a Name is a direct challenge? A ghostling- or in this case liminal- doing it is an open invitation for adoption. 

[confused-wanderer]

..the batfam siblings are randomnly getting teleported through time to the original days of batman and robin, but somehow Bruce is nowhere to be seen. This leads to so many more questions, and each of them has begged the villains to just put them out of their misery at some point.

Exhibit 1

Jason *teleports into Wayne Manor*

Jason: what the actual fuck is happening?

Eight year old Dick:

Jason:

Jason: Ah sh- shoot.. Hey there..

Eight year old Dick *lip trembles*

Jason *panicking* : uhhhh hey kid please don’t cry-

*WHAM*

Jason’s knees explode in pain as he doubled over and then there’s a continuous tornado of blows coming before he’s down for the count

Eight year old Dick: IM GONNA ROCK YOUR SHIT FUCKER *about to smash a granite statue on Jason’s head if Alfred hadn’t walked in at that moment*

Jason *tasting blood and wheezing* : I- I think my ribs are broken.. also why does this fucking feel like déjà vu?

Exhibit 2

Tim:

Robin!Dick:

Tim: uh- hey Dick?

*villain appears*

Tim *running in front* : Don’t worry I’ll protect yo-

Robin!Dick running out from behind him wielding an electric blowtorch he stole from Tim: MEET YOUR END TODAY!

Tim *panicking* : ROBIN NO

Dick *cackling* : ROBIN YES

Exhibit 3

Damian:

Dick:

Damian: Richard.. you’re- not what I expected.

Dick *scaling the side of the skyscraper to help a cat stuck there*

Damian: .. Compassion is a quality you always-

Damian:

Damian: .. Richard.. where is the rest of your gear?

Robin!Dick *with cats in hand running off the ledge*

Damian: RICHARD WHERE IS YOUR GRAPPLING HOOK?!

Dick ended up doing several gymnastic moves, giving a perfect landing with the cat in tow and not a single scratch on him. Damian has stopped functioning.

Bonus

Cass *smiling warmly*

Dick *smiling and waving* : HI NICE LADY!! Do you want a cookie? Alfred made them!!

Cass *taking the packet Dick is trying to hold upright*

Dick: That ones for you! And this *takes out a small box with a skull drawn on it with crayons* is for your family! I know you don’t like talking about them.. and I think they’re the ones who hurt you. Just give them one cookie and they’ll never bother you again!

Cass: :) . Thanks.. but cookie not solve everything..

Dick: Aww..

Dick:

Dick: If I burn their house down will that work?

Cass: •_•

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

My take on stalker!Tim:

Robin!Jason gets distracted during a patrol and doesn’t meet up with Batman, who panics is mildly concerned. Jason doesn’t want to reveal the real reason he got distracted (could be something he was working on for Bruce or just him being a cute baby nerd) so he makes something up the spot. A kid! He saw a kid. It was definitely child shaped. And. Uh. Photography! That’s right, he saw a kid taking photos and made sure he got home safe.

Batman: Photography?

Robin!Jason: Yeah, uh, nighttime photography.

Batman: At midnight?

Robin: I mean, it’s not a school night.

Batman: What were they taking pictures of?

Robin, panicking and going to the first thing he can think of ch just so happens to be last Sunday when Dick called Bruce an emotionally repressed furry: Uh, wildlife?

Bruce is skeptical but honestly he’s seen weirder things even tonight so as long as the kid got home safe…

Jason proceeds to use this same excuse a few more times.

Batman: Don’t tell me, it was the kid again.

Robin!Jason: You just missed him.

Batman, who isn’t feeling strong parental feelings at all: Hrn.

Okay so then fast forward a few years. Jason is on his little murder training gap year and Tim has shown up to the manor trying to fix the disaster that is currently Bruce Batman Wayne. Dick, trying to bond with the kid now that it’s apparent he’s not going anywhere, asks what Tim’s interests are.

Tim: Well, I like photography, and…

Dick, putting two and two together and getting forty-seven: Ohmygosh you’re the kid.

Tim: The what now?

Dick: The kid with the wildlife photography.

Tim, thinking about that one competition he entered a year ago: Uh, I guess?

Dick thinks that’s how Tim figured out all their identities. He thinks he has it all figured out. He does not. Bruce now thinks he has it figured out too. He does not. Tim is unaware there was something to be figured out. Jason is off learning the finer points of poisoning or something idk.

So skip forward some more and Jason is back, minus some murder attempts or whatever because this is crack, and Dick is now trying to get his two brothers comfortable with each other. It is not working. Finally, Dick remembers they’ve definitely met before.

Dick: So, do you remember meeting Tim before?

Jason, whose memory resembles Swiss cheese but is fairly certain he never met Tim before now: Uh…

Dick: He’s the kid! The one with the wildlife photography!

Jason, suddenly remembering the excuse he used several times as Robin: The what now?

Tim, knowing full well that Jason was very dead at the time he submitted anything in a wildlife category: The what now?

Jason pulls Tim into a hall closet to interrogate him about this.

Tim: There’s like five rooms right here that no one has stepped in in a month. Why are we in a closet?

Jason: What, exactly, did Dick mean by you were the one with the wildlife photography, because I’m pretty sure that was just an excuse I made up but now I don’t know.

They figure it out. They also agree to just let that belief be. Jason doesn’t want to admit he made that all up. Tim doesn’t want to admit he thought Dick had gone to his art competition thing before they even officially met. Tim also doesn’t want to explain how he actually figured out their identities because this sounds way cooler. So they decide to just roll with it.

Damian shows up and tries to hunt down Tim’s early photos of Batman. Tim and Jason get really into making it look like he just keeps missing it. Barbara knew about all of this the entire time but no one asked her so she didn’t bother to fill them in.

Everyone else that joins the family after that point and hears the story of Jason and Tim supposedly meeting while Jason was Robin has the exact same response: “Oh, ‘cause Batman’s a furry. Right.”

[batfamhyperfixation]

Jason: the Batfam member I see most as my brother is Tim

Dick: What!!! That's no fair, I should be your brotherly-ist brother!

Dick: No offense Timmy.

Dick, turning back to Jason: But I am the one who has been your brother longest, I helped you kill that druglord, I even gave you some of my cookie dough last week!

Bruce: uhhh, back to the druglord thing-

Steph: You shared your cookie dough with him!

Jason: Sorry Dick, but there is one thing that makes you brothers more than anything else, not blood, or time, but...

Jason and Tim at the same time: Contempt

Jason: I have contempt for Tim, like all siblings should. Really the only thing I love more than hating Tim is shit talking other people with Tim. That form of contempt is how siblings bond and I will just say, surprisingly I love bonding with Tim even more than I love terrorizing Tim

Tim: aww, I didn't know we were that close

Jason, panicking cause he doesn't wanna ruin their dynamic: *punches Tim in the gut and runs out*

Tim, shouting after him: You can't take it back now, you ass

Jason: *turns around while running to give Tim the middle finger*