#complexity and stuff

[cabbojage]

HAIII

I have a QUESTION!

what piece of world building do u really like that makes a lot of sense in your au?

HELLOOO SORRY THIS IS LATe i swear everything in my inbox is rotting from neglect. BUT I'M GONNA ANSWER ITALL

hopefully i answer this right but.... i really like all the machine lore in my wip ! the whole "time is currency" thing that i mentioned obviously takes the spotlight in terms of my world's defining features, but machines and the energy that powers them also plays a pretty big role! the gist of it is basically, CLOCKED OUT's city of klairva is mainly fueled by electricity, which is generated in power plants and produced by huge watches wound up by the Clockmaker when he was alive. it's one of the reasons why the city is able to survive with so little land area and such a dense population; essentially, there's an infinite source of energy. however, since the energy source is tied to magic (like a lot of things in my world lmao), it will undoubtedly collapse if the magic ends up dying. or if, you know, the creator of that magic has been considered dead for half a century...

exempt from all this, though, are automatons - half-sentient machines who can take orders but not think for themselves. this is where lola comes in with her mechanic expertise: she makes and fixes automatons! automatons aren't powered by electric batteries, but rather by "keys" - which must be blessed by a Cardinal. the only magical aspect of these keys are the ability to bestow the machine with a half-consciousness (think modern day AI/robots, who can respond to stimuli but don't think or themselves), and keep the machine running without constantly having to be winded (an automatic key instead of a manual one!)

lola, however, has nothing to do with the magic of it all. she deals with the grit, the gears and the grease and the details and dimensions. the design. and i want to capitalize on this human/machine, creator/creation dynamic throughout the whole story - what defines humanity? if your body is ruined into metal, if someone tells you what to do and you obey, does that mean you are more of a machine? if someone else controls how long you live for, are you no different than a generator? the human as a machine and the god as its creator....hm.....

but anyway! i hope this relationship becomes clearer as i write it bc.... all i have rn are vibes LMAOOOO and i don't fully know how i'm gonna represent this or if i have too many elements interacting with each other etc etc TT i might end up toning this down so that my world isn't so magic-reliant (maybe have them use fossil fuels or something idk lmaooo) - but yeah, i like how the whole "time is currency" interacts w the city's machinery as a parallel representing humans as the machines and the cardinals/the Clockmaker as their creator. (i just realized i could've just said that last sentence instead of that massive info dump but.... oh well KLDJALKDJKD)

[pink111shit]

[chronicsymptomsyndrome]

*displays textbook symptomatic behavior of my own disorder that I am well educated on* what’s my deal why am I like this

[sparkriel]

was gonna add more but i ran out of steam 😔👎 anyway here’s an infographic on how people with complex dissociative disorders are not that different from you lol

[rainywhispersblog]

[rustybutterknife]

Microdosing polyamory by dating a system

[jimbotron3000]

I love Prowl idw he sucks balls.

(Also I really like those chapters)

[egophiliac]

I loved your drawing(and I love your style in general) with Leia in your recent post! If/when you have time can we see more of her in your style? I get so happy whenever I actually see people mention/talk about her and she’s not just forgotten because we didn’t get to see much of her. 😭

thank you! 💙💙💙 Leia/Leah/Lea/whatever is fascinating to me. she is the ultimate unknown. what was she like? how involved (or even aware of any details of the invasion) was she? Silver's basically a physical carbon copy of his biodad, so what did he get from her? like, I understand why the two of them kind of have to stay as these super vague and mysterious figures -- the whole point of them is that their story ended 400+ years ago and they're not really relevant anymore (and. well. the more that gets explained about them, the less that can just kinda be handwaved as "oh the politics were Very Messy") (we can sit here and theorize all day but let us acknowledge that, ultimately, canon gave us almost nothing about them post-Meleanor and we'd just be making things up). I do still wonder about her though! RIP Lea, we never knew you and we probably never will.

actually you know what, as long as we're here, I think I WILL go ahead and just make some stuff up about what Silver might've inherited from her instead.

[pplatonic]

about a cofront today

[borderlesbian]

i don't want to heal i want them pay for what they did

[milkamel]

Finally part 3! Gonna take a break after this one unless I have more ideas lol Anyway Smilk isn't the best example of how you're supposed to keep people you find endearing close-

[pink111shit]

girls…..

[transonlyspace]

"queer identities are getting too complex" good. be complex. confuse cis people. confuse straight people. aim to be what cishets call cringe. be incomprehensible. be unfathomable.

[periwinkla]

Goodmorning kiss... ♡ what's with me and kissy narumitsu sketches lately...?

[inkskinned]

we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.

"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."

i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.

you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"

i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.

what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.

i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.

"don't make a big deal about this," you said.

this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.

"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.

you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."

the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.

afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."

[thefluxsystem]

You know what the worst part of having a dissociative disorder is, for me personally?

The emotional amnesia.

Your entire life feels like something that you watched on TV, rather than something that you actually lived through.

You know that some of the most horrific things imaginable have happened to you, and you feel nothing about it. Sure, the memories disgust you on principle, but you don’t feel anything.

It makes you question if anything that you remember is real. If that actually happened, shouldn’t it feel significant? Shouldn’t you be sad, angry, hurt, something?

And to top it all off, nobody understands. Not even yourself.