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#is this really incorrect if it happened
lexosaurus · 3 months
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Dash: Can I ask you something? Lancer: Sure Dash: If someone jumps my friend, and then the next day I wait for them in the parking lot and beat the shit out of them, is that self-defense? Lancer: Why don't you take a second to think about that one. Dash: It's definitely self-defense. Lancer: No, that's retaliation. Dash: Too late. Lancer: Oh, wonderful. I can't wait to check my emails after class.
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marvel-lous-guy · 7 months
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Peter: *distraught* Mr Stark! I'm a criminal! I'm a criminal Mr Stark!
Tony: what!?
Nat: join the club kid
Sam: You're already a wanted vigilante
Tony: Peter, what are you talking about?
Peter: I have this guys knife and I don't know how to give it back to him so I'm a thief
Tony: so some guy tried to stab you, you grabbed the knife and now you think you're a criminal?
Peter: Yes.
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daddiesdrarryy · 8 months
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Sirius: Reg! Why were you in my dorm kissing my best friend?
Regulus: It just happened, okay? James lost his wand, and he was looking for it—
Sirius: In your mouth?
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Dick: You said you were going on some sort of spiritual retreat?
Tim: Nama stay-
Dick: And you’re supposed to be dead!
Bruce: I got better?
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blueteller · 7 months
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Cale In Lockdown Be Like:
Raon: Human, you must stop getting hurt all the time, or- or...! Cale: Or...? Raon: ...or we will lock you up in your room! With 3 meals a day! Cale: *eyes shining* You mean I wouldn't have to go outside? Choi Han: Cale-nim, no....
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madieflaw · 2 months
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Death: your time has come
Newt: hold on I gotta ask Tommy..
Death: this isn’t a choi-
Newt: he said no
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skunkes · 3 months
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reposting some old doodles i still enjoy a bit
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jennacrtega · 3 months
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incorrect wednesday quotes
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a-dauntless-daffodil · 4 months
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au where vaggie has another little secret she didn't even know was a secret still (spoiler it's Mortality) (spoiler charlie Isn't Happy) and when she sits down with charlie for a hotel talk it goees like (TRAUMATIC EMOTIONAL SPEED RUN AAAAHAHAHA)
Vaggie: "Alright sweetie, the hotel's going good so far, one soul redeemed, minimal fire damage this week, so we should probably start planning for the next hundred years of operations."
Charlie: "YAY!!! Planning planning planning~ What's first on the list??"
Vaggie: "Start looking for a replacement manager."
Charlie: "You don't wanna keep being manager? OH- we can be CO-FOUNDERS together! WE COULD HAVE A PARTY FOR IT! And plan for the next one too- Charlie and Vaggie's centennial wow the hotel is still here celebration...!"
Vaggie: "That's sweet, but I'll be dead by then either way, so we still need to deal with the staffing shortage before then."
Charlie: "....dead... tired?"
Vaggie: "Dead as in dead. Doornail style."
Charlie: "What?"
Vaggie: "Expired. Shit, when did we last check the hotel fridge..."
Charlie: "Vaggie wait, I'm, I'm not hearing you right, what are you saying?"
Vaggie: "Heaven born don't live forever? Especially not down in hell, turns out."
Charlie: "I don't understand."
Vaggie: (chuckles) "Sweetie, thanks for ignoring my eyebags and zombie groans while getting out of bed in the morning- but my wings are already GREY, for fuck's sake."
Charlie: "Yes they're, grey. Beautiful and- aren't they supposed to be-?"
Vaggie: "And I'm pretty sure it's not just from the stress of running a business for a few months. Being hotel manager isn't that hard."
Vaggie: "....Mostly. Compared to, some things...." (sigh)
Vaggie: "Think anyone would believe that if we put it in the want ad?"
Charlie: "But-"
Vaggie: "No buts. We really need to get a head start on this."
Charlie: "....but you're a winner."
Vaggie: (SNORTS) "In my dating life, yeah. Anyway-"
Charlie: "But none of the other exorcists' wings are grey! So, so THEY aren't aging- so YOU aren't aging!!"
Vaggie: "They've got halos to protect them from the whole physically getting old thing-"
Charlie: "Halos???"
Vaggie: "-so we- they- can keep fit and ready for fighting our- THEIR whole lives, but duh we don't live forever. Lute and Adam left me here to die, not chill for all eternity."
Charlie: "Wh.. but-"
Vaggie: "Can you imagine how much heaven would've freaked if one of their actually immortal souls had gotten killed down here in hell...? But it was just one of us Adam's girls, and it was up to him to deal with it. With more murder. Bastard."
Charlie: "...."
Vaggie: "Uh.... Charlie?"
Charlie: "....your mortal?"
Vaggie: "I'm, yeah.... wait, Charlie..."
Vaggie: "...people know that about exorcists, right? You didn't... think heaven would risk putting winners in their rank and file army and send them down to hell?"
Charlie: "I thought you were a sinner."
Vaggie: "Hostia- right. I keep forgetting, they don't get old do they?"
Charlie: "Sinners don't. They get killed but they don't just. Die."
Vaggie: "I'm sorry. I thought- I really should've told you-"
Charlie: "Angels aren't supposed to die either."
Vaggie: "We did a good job proving that wrong. Exhibit A, Adam's corpse."
Charlie: "He was KILLED- it's not the same!"
Vaggie: "And angels aren't the same either. There's a lot of different kinds in creation- most of us aren't in the higher orders, there's waaaay more exorcists than seraphim."
Charlie: "But heaven is still supposed to be HEAVEN! People don't DIE in heaven! That wouldn't be Heaven! How could- how could it ever be HAPPY up there if, if- if people still left!?"
Vaggie: "Oh, sweetie... the only people who've earned a heaven like that are the winners. The rest of us are just-"
Charlie: "Just what? JUST, WHAT???"
Vaggie: "We're there to make heaven a good place for them. Keep it running smooth and safe. Mostly it's the higher ups who deal with winners personally, the rest of us stay back and stick to our jobs, try to keep some distance so no one... gets too attached... shit that sounded a lot less fucked up before I said it out loud-"
Vaggie: "Look- it's like that with hellborn too isn't it? The imps and hellhounds and-"
Charlie: "NO! YES? But this is HELL! Of course it hurts and isn't fair! You're not FROM hell it's not supposed to BE like that for you!"
Vaggie: "Or for my girlfriend."
Charlie: "I'm not the one who's dying!"
Vaggie: "You're kinda freaking-"
Charlie: "IM NOT FREAKING OUT!!"
Vaggie: "Right. I meant, you should've had more warning. I'm sorry I didn't say... I wasn't thinking that far ahead."
Charlie: "WELL I WAS! And I'm not- we're not losing that."
Vaggie: "Charlie-"
Charlie: "We're getting you your halo back."
Vaggie: "Pretty sure it's already been recycled-"
Charlie: "THEN WE'RE FINDING ONE FROM ONE OF THE DEAD EXORCISTS and you are WEARING IT until we FIX THIS."
Vaggie: "Sweetie- heaven collected all the halos from our battle-"
Charlie: "They didn't pick up all the spears and stuff, maybe they also missed-"
Vaggie: "No they wouldn't have. Halos aren't, they're not like the weapons. Heaven doesn't care if sinners kill each other with some left behind divine steel, but a halo? They store and conduct heavenly power or whatever. No one's gonna leave one of them lying around."
Charlie: "Fine. FINE- let me think-"
Vaggie: "Can we think less and focus more on you not shaking like a damn leaf first? C'mon, sit down-"
Charlie: "-the angel Carmilla killed. We'll use that one."
Vaggie: "We could use a deep breath right now."
Charlie: "It's head was missing when heaven picked up the body."
Vaggie: "Yeah? An Overlord probably has it hanging on their wall, big whoop, Charlie please slow down-"
Charlie: "If it's head was left behind then maybe it's halo was too! If we find the Overlord-"
Vaggie: "No. No more deals with Overlords."
Charlie: "I'll make as many damn deals with them as I want!"
Vaggie: "But not for ME, alright! If it's about me then you don't get to sell your fucking soul! Or bind it or whatever! You can't make me be the reason for that!"
Charlie: "Vaggie- we NEED that halo."
Vaggie: "No we don't. I don't."
Charlie: "You're dying without it!"
Vaggie: "I KNOW I am. But that's just, life!"
Charlie: "LIFE? Dying so soon isn't-!"
Vaggie: "Charlie, you're half seraphim. You mom was the original demon, your view on life expectancies is kinda skewed."
Charlie: "You said the halos let you live longer!"
Vaggie: "I said they keep us young. It's not the same thing."
Charlie: "It's still SOMETHING!"
Vaggie: "We don't even know that would help at this point, I've been in hell for years-"
Charlie: "Oh so we shouldn't even try!? Just, sit back and go 'well we haven't don't anything to stop this but I guess it was just completely unavoidable'-"
Vaggie: "It probably WON'T help. No, listen- It worked up in heaven and for short runs down here- that doesn't mean it'd have any power to draw on in hell. It's probably just a fancy looking hoop down here."
Charlie: "Then we'll get you back to heaven until we can make it work."
Vaggie: "I'm not going back to fucking heaven!"
Charlie: "AND I'M NOT LETTING YOU STAY HERE AND DIE!"
Vaggie: "You can't kick me out- this is OUR hotel, not just yours."
Charlie: "YOU- you-"
Vaggie: "We need. To calm down."
Charlie: "CALM DOWN! Every second you spend down here your body is-"
Vaggie: "Not dying anytime soon, okay? I'm fine. This whole talk has gone way too far way, way to fast. That's my fault for not thinking about all this sooner, but. Just. Take a breath. Let's just take a breath, take a break, and come back to this when we're both had a moment."
Charlie: "....."
Charlie: "Did you plan all this."
Vaggie: "What?"
Charlie: "Owning the hotel together. Making sure you couldn't be forced out of hell."
Vaggie: "That's not why we started the hotel-"
Charlie: "No, that's not what I was thinking when we started it. But were you?"
Vaggie: "Charlie... you're connecting dots that aren't there..."
Charlie: "You're here. You're here and dying and don't want to leave."
Vaggie: "I'd be dying up in heaven too."
Charlie: "But your wings wouldn't already be GREY, would they?"
Vaggie: "They'd still be an exorcist's wings, if I'd never left-"
Charlie: "Well they're not anymore and going back wouldn't change that. All it would do is help you stay alive."
Vaggie: "I don't want that life."
Charlie: "It's that or die."
Vaggie: "You're being dramatic-"
Charlie: "You've always said you liked that about me. Was that a lie too?"
Vaggie: "No."
Charlie: "Do you want to die, Vaggie?"
Vaggie: "Of course I don't- I could've just let Lute-"
Charlie: "Die, not be killed. Does it make you feel better about all the people you've killed? You'll die and join them, sooner rather than later?"
Vaggie: "......."
Vaggie: "... I want. To spend my life. With you."
Charlie: "No you don't." (voice cracking) "You can't do that when you're dead."
Vaggie: "That's not my fault."
Charlie: "Your choice though, right?"
Vaggie: "It’s not same thing-"
Charlie: "Yes it is. You want to be one who leaves."
Vaggie: "....... wouldn't you?"
Charlie: "...."
Vaggie: "..."
Charlie: "I don't.... want it to b- be like this."
Vaggie: "I know."
Charlie: "I want US! Not like this."
Vaggie: "I know, sweetie, I know... I'm so sorry-"
Charlie: "Stop it." (muffled in vaggie's hair) "You don't want this either, stop apologizing for it!"
Vaggie: "... I shouldn't have let you think, it could be different."
Charlie: "...."
Charlie: "It will be."
Vaggie: "Okay. Denial, that's a, normal step in-"
Charlie: "No- It WILL BE. I- We going to- we'll MAKE it different."
Vaggie: "I don't think we can..."
Charlie: "We will."
Vaggie: "Charlie-"
Charlie: "Damnit just trust me! If we can save a sinner's soul, then we can f-fucking save you."
Vaggie: "....."
Charlie: "Please, Vaggie. Can we try?"
Vaggie: "...it'll be a waste of time."
Charlie: "No it won't."
Vaggie: "We're already not gonna have forever together, sweetie. Why not just. Enjoy what we do have?"
Charlie: "I will! We will."
Charlie: "But we're going to have longer than one century for it."
Vaggie: "Half that, maybe..."
Charlie: "That's not the sound of trying. Vaggie. Please."
Vaggie: "...well... if you're gonna look at me like that about it..."
Charlie: "Don't joke about this."
Vaggie: "I'm not." (smile) "I just know better than to doubt Charlie Morningstar when she gets an idea into her cute, stubborn head."
Charlie: "All my head needs right now is an answer. One word. Clear. Honest."
Vaggie: "... alright. Yes. We can try."
Charlie: "Thank you." (kiss) "Thank you, thank you, thank you..."
Vaggie: "But you have to promise me. No deals. No selling souls- not for my sake, not even a little bit. Got it?"
Charlie: "Why are you so strict about this-"
Vaggie: "Because it's your soul."
Charlie: "-people make deals all the time! YOU made one with-"
Vaggie: "And it creeped me out even though it wasn't with my soul. Do you promise?"
Charlie: "This is a heaven thing isn't it?"
Vaggie: "Do you promise."
Charlie: "...."
Charlie: "I won't make, deals with anyone in hell, to save you."
Vaggie: (breathes out) "Then... we'll start by talking to Carmilla tomorrow."
Charlie: "TOMORROW!? But that-"
Vaggie: "Will give us time to figure out what we actually wanna SAY to Carmilla. She's still an Overlord, Charlie. Any info we give her she'll want to sure to keep her family safe first."
Charlie: "I know the fucking feeling..."
Vaggie: "So we're slowing this down and doing things carefully, so we do them right. Right?"
Charlie: "Right." (grumbling) "Fools rush in- blah blah BLAH."
Vaggie: "That's my girl."
Vaggie: (hesitates) (tentative smooch)
Vaggie: "Feeling better?"
Charlie: "Fine. I wish you'd stop asking ME that."
Vaggie: "Just glad you're not shaking so much anymore. Kinda scared me for a second."
Charlie: "I'm fine." (sighs) (hugs vaggie) "I didn't mean..."
Vaggie: "I didn't mean to scare you, too."
Charlie: "It's fine. You'll be okay."
Vaggie: "Mm. Already am."
Charlie: "And we're NOT looking for a replacement hotel manager."
Vaggie: "We're gonna need-"
Charlie: "NO."
Vaggie: "-okay. We'll hold off on it. We've got time."
Charlie: (holds her closer) (glares at distant light of heaven)
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drieddpetals · 4 months
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inej: *walks into the kitchen, unknowingly silent* "what's up homesicle-"
jesper: *jumps* "OH MY GOD"
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incorrectbuckandeddie · 7 months
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The shippers waiting for Buck to come out as bisexual in the 100th episode.
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Bridgerton season 4 incorrect quote
Penelope: hey, kate, can i ask you something
Kate: you just did, but proceed
Penelope: how do you do it somedays
Kate: colin?
Penelope: colin
Kate: well alcohol helps and also moving everything in anthony's study six inches to the left
Penelope: oh
Penelope: OH
Kate: we are going to be the best of friends
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daddiesdrarryy · 11 months
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Harry: Fight me, you posh arse Slytherin!
Draco: At least try to sound slightly more sophisticated when you threaten someone, Potter
Harry: Oh, I’m sorry. I should ask; dost thou want to engage in a duel, my good bitch?
Draco: Somehow that’s worse
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Plo: Fox, you have trauma
Fox: I think you mean humor
Kit: Fox, you need therapy
Fox: …
Fox: See this is how I know you don’t have trauma because trauma gives you character aaaand you’re trying to take that away
Mace: We’re not trying to take away anything. We’re just trying to resolve the issue of you consistently stunning any Jedi when startled
Fox: …
Fox: that’s a fair point
Yoda: Same thing to Anakin, we did
Obi-wan: Though his was because he almost went berserk on everyone
Mace: same thing
Quinlan: mmmmm it’s not the same
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allaboutlov3 · 2 months
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The Marauders as conversations I’ve had:
James: Gideon looks FINE today.
Peter: Who is Gideon?
Sirius: Umm..that guy over there?
James: Peter, weve literally known him for years!
Peter: Yeah no, I know. But thats Fabian.
James: *smirks* No. Thats Gideon. Trust me, I KNOW.
Remus *starts to realize something* You do know that Gideon and Fabian are twins, right? Like, theres kinda two of them?
*James and Sirius are dying on the floor*
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vsyrworld · 25 days
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*Carlos's mocking something about Charles*
Charles : ugh you're so annoying, i hate u
Carlos : (grins) no, you loves me
Charles: (roll his eyes) yeah, i do🙄
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