#source dead

[pale-grunge-dark]

[xshinina]

*Married life playing in the background

This idea was probably funnier in my head

[not-rab]

13-year-old Sirius: You know what, I think it's time we started swearing. When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'll swear first and then you.

12-year-old Regulus: Okay.

[downstairs]

Walburga: What do you want for breakfast?

Sirius: I'll have Cocoa Puffs, bitch.

Walburga: Go to your room!

Walburga, to Regulus: And what do you want?

Regulus: Dunno but it won't be fucking Cocoa Puffs.

[starlightseraph]

house md will always be remebered as the most insane thing ever broadcast because of how unabashedly feral everyone involved was.

a short collection of things that happen on the show, just off the top of my head, not even scratching the surface:

- house shoots a random dead body in the morgue and then sticks him in an mri machine, which pulls the bullet out of the dead guy’s head and destroys the machine, costing the hospital millions

- foreman gets bitten by a person with rabies

- chase kills an african dictator

- cameron steals drugs from a patient after possibly getting hiv from said patient

- house induces a migraine and then takes a drug made by his arch nemesis (who he’s been stalking for 25 years) to get the drug taken off the market. he then takes lsd (in the hospital, in the middle of a case) to cure the migraine.

- chase goes into anaphylaxis after doing body shots

- house stops an elevator so he can perform a cavity (vaginal) search on a teenage heart transplant patient who’s in cardiorespiratory arrest

- they give a neurosurgeon mushrooms to cure his food poisoning, then they stick him in an operating room. the neurosurgeon strips in front of a health board assessor.

- kutner dies for gay marriage

- house sets an autopsy room on fire while trying to juggle flaming bottles

- house gets recruited by the cia

- taub gets held at gun point after diagnosing a stripper with skin cancer

- in almost every single episode, the team breaks into multiple houses

- house fakes terminal brain cancer so he can get drugs implanted directly into the pleasure centre of his brain

- house cons us immigration to get his fake wife a green card. he also uses his fake wife’s ukrainian food truck to spy on people

- house tries to get wilson, his closet case boybestfriend, into bed every few episodes. every other sentence out of house’s mouth is about wanting to rail wilson.

- taub has a kid with his ex-wife, after they divorce, at the same time he has a kid with his 25 yo side piece. the kids’ names are sophie and sophia.

- house and wilson have a bet on who can hide a chicken in the hospital the longest without anyone finding out

- house tries to kill himself like 6 times and always fails (insulin shock, overdoses, electrocution, jumping off a building, cutting, etc)

- house fakes his death to get out of a prison sentence after violating his parole so he can live out his bi love story with his gay best friend who has 5 months to live

[oornithologistt]

vultures amirite?

og image below the cut

[buggypirates]

I am crying and so close to puke cotton candy

[embeccy]

"Your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing."

- Fyodor Dostoyevsky

[black-ch3rryz]

⋆｡°✩ prettiest girl in the morgue ⋆｡°✩

[adharastarlight]

Regulus: well, I don't like Potter anymore, so it's time for me to get back out there and spread my-

Barty: legs

Regulus: wings. My legs?! No, spread my wings thats-

Evan: I mean, either way

Regulus: no, not eith... actually

[mlincorrectquotes]

*Texting*

Adrien: Just wanted to say I have a massive crush on you

Marinette: Oh

Marinette: Who’s the other guy?

Adrien: I added him for moral support

Marinette: LMAOOOOOO ARE YOU SERIOUS?

Nino: I’m here for you man

Nino: Do your thing

[incorrectbatfam]

Jason: I'm dead?!?

Cassandra: And so young.

Jason: Posting that I died? That really isn't funny.

Stephanie: Well, how you died is funny.

Jason: Oh please, hit by the Bat-blimp?

Damian: It kills over one Americans every year.

[im-totally-not-an-alien-2]

Halloween prompts year 2 day 11

"A contract," the creature croaked, freezing Tim in place.

"What?" He asked, stunned. He knew he should run, he knew he shouldn't trust whatever magic nonsense this was turning into but...whoever or whatever this was sounded desperate.

Green glowing liquid had came together to make the vague shape of a person on the ground, "A contract," the creature repeated, "Care for me and give me energy, and in return I will serve and protect you."

Red Robin hesitated, "How do I know you're not going to stab me in the back the first chance you get."

"I need to feed." The thing gasped, "I need a host. I can negotiate"

Tim can negotiate too, and if there's one thing his 17 year old co-ceo self knew by now, it was contracts.

After the contract was completed, the being passed out and a bright white flash left a relatively normal looking boy in its place

Somehow the entity, now known as Danny, had been stolen away by Alfred and is undergoing butler training cause now Tim has his own personal butler...who is only a year younger than him and some kind of Pit Demon

[magpie-trinkets]

continuing that "maya tries to contact claire" post, i present you the post-Spirit of Justice follow-up

[not-rab]

Barty: ‘They’ll never find the body’ is such a boring threat, a better threat would be ‘they’ll never stop finding the body’

Regulus, bored: Or just say ‘they’ll be finding parts of you for at least 4 months, and you’ll still be alive for 3 of them’

Barty: Now that’s a threat!

Evan, covering James’ ears: *horrified silence*

[hannibals-favourite-meal]

*The group is getting into the car*

Rick: I’m driving.

Y/N, out of view: Shotgun!

Glenn, turning to face Y/N: Aww! But you had it on the way here-

Everyone except Y/N: WOAH-

Y/N, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*

[that-bitch-kat3]

i’ve been closer to death than to a stable relationship

-regulus black probably