#wayne bros

[mylifeingotham]

[bruciemilf]

(If you have Bruce as part of the JL where TJ exists)

The other JL members think it's weird that Bruce doesn't see the need to do much when his kids start fighting under the excuse "They're not fighting that hard with each other" until they watch one of the times where all it takes for Bruce and TJ to start fighting is to just look at each other.

The BatBrats thinking they're the elite when it comes to sibling rivalry? Bruce looks at them and thinks how cute.

Clark watching Jason threaten Tim with horrible 10 ways to die if he won't give back his book and looks at Bruce like, are you gonna stop this?

Bruce shrugs, " If they don't break bones, I'm not getting involved,"

I feel like TJ would definetly be the type to expose Bruce in front of his friends. Like, oh, yeah, the guys so scary right? You should see him suck on his thumb when he's napping. Or his blonde era, now that's terryfing.

Diana's eyes sparkle, "...Blonde?"

" Blached hair, heavy make up, very Avril Lavigne of him. Oh, and did I mention he used to write love letters to Gerard Way?

Bruce seeths, " Want ME to tell them you used to make out with the bathroom mirror when you were drunk? At TEN?"

" No, but maybe you'd like to tell them you had your first boner when you saw that Gray Ghost episode when he snapped a guy's spine in two!"

" Or maybe I should tell them you annoyed our last nanny to death!"

" I told her to stay off the stairs. Besides, I didn't push her that hard. Anyway, anybody want pics of Bruce eating pudding with a knife cause I said it's less calories?"

[redsray]

i love the idea of the batfam wearing each other's merch cause like. i know they'd be petty about it. usually they'd wear their siblings merch in (kinda) equal rotations, but they'd change it up depending on sibling squabbles or sibling favours. Tim, walking into the kitchen in a Red Hood shirt: Dick: TIM!? Tim: what Dick: it's Tuesday. you always wear Nightwing merch on Tuesdays. Tim: oh. Tim: you stole my last granola bar, last week. Steph, looking for something in Jason's room: JASON WHY DO YOU HAVE EVERYONE'S MERCH BUT MINE?! Jason, peeking into the room: i have your merch. in the trash. Steph: WHY Jason: you hit me with a blue shell in mario kart last game night. i'm never forgiving you. Damian, sporting a full-on Red Robin hoodie: Tim: woah. what brought this on? you usually only exclusively wear Batman or Nightwing merch Damian: you helped me take that splinter out of Alfred's paw yesterday. Richard on the other hand has recently messed up my painting palette. Dick, from the other room: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! Damian: he'll get over it. Cass, wearing Nightwing merch for the 5th day in a row: Jason: goddamn. what did Dickie do to get in your good graces like this? Cass, smiling: he made me a flower crown Jason: ... that's it? Cass: it was a very nice flower crown. Dick, buying seven Signal shirts: One for everyone. Duke, behind him: Dick, you really don't-- Dick: shhhh, sunshine. everyone will love your new merch. (they all wore exclusively Signal merch for a week straight) Bruce isn't allowed to change up his rotation or not wear someone's merch because he immediately gets accused of playing favourites. He'd rather keep some of his sanity, thank you.

[xiaoks]

art collab with @haoovn

damian lineart and tim rendering by @haoovn

tim lineart and damian rendering by me

lineart under cut:

[fanaticalthings]

next thing you're gonna tell me is that the butts match 🙄

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[popping-greenbean]

flinging your friends over your shoulder like potato sack. dangling them by the scruff stacking them up in your arms like laundry shoving them into your purse etc etc i love it

---

from this screenshot from 'starcrossed'

[ditzybat]

jason: i'm too drunk to drive

dick: you were the one to get me drunk, so i can't drive

tim: man i am high as a kite right now, i don't think I'm fit to drive unless it's to the wendy's drive-thru, its the only route i know by heart

jason, dick, and tim looking over to 12 year old damian:

damian: i shall be your designated driver just this once

[phoneduk]

[Jason panic searching his room]

Jason: "WHERE IS IT?!"

Tim : "what is *it*?

Jason: "You would know if saw it! Just help me look!"

Dick: "Hey, let's just calm down. What are we looking for?"

Jason: "I bought home an injured snake yesterday on patrol and I was planning on dropping it off at the vet today."

Dick: "that's not so bad."

Jason: "If Damian finds it we're going to have a pet snake. And you're the only one he would trust to feed it."

[Jason, Dick and Tim frantically searching the manor.]

Meanwhile

[Damian in the cave full Robin costume with snake around his shoulders - Maniacal laughter.]

Bruce suddenly sits straight up in his seat in the watch tower, a full body shiver taking over him.

Bruce: "Somethings wrong"

[tiffycat]

The vibes on this guy... Maybe it's a Gotham thing

Continuation of my lil delusional crossover cause I still think it is very fun and also people seemed to like the first set of doodles :D

[firerose18991]

Literally anyone meeting bruce and his family for the first time: So how did you get so many kids by 30?

Dick: HE WAS A TEENAGE DELINQUENT

Jason: *shouting over him* HE LEFT MY MOTHER AT THE ALTAR

*tim is sitting, just happy to be included*

Bruce: BE-quiet.  They're ADOPTED!

Jason: *not a beat missed* Because he’s never known the touch of a woman.

[trashmakerarticle]

Everyone thinks that dick was the golden child when in reality it was Jason.

Clark: Bruce who was your favourite robin?

Dick: obviously it’s me?

Tim: it’s dick

Damian: I am superior robin, it will be me.

Bruce: it’s Jason

Everyone: WHAT?!?!???

Bruce: why are you so surprised? He didn’t jump on too my chandeliers which I had to replace each week

*everyone looks at dick*

Bruce: he didn’t drop out of school

*everyone looks at tim*

Bruce: I didn’t have to stop him from killing everyone who annoyed him

*everyone looks at Damian*

Bruce: in fact, he enjoyed school and handed all his homework in on time, we would spend hours in the library reading his favourite classics. He even helped Alfred with most of the cooking, He was my little boy

Jason: stop spreading lies, I hate you go away

Bruce: my precious little boy

[mylifeingotham]

[batbabydamian]

reverse robins of my fav trio!

[rock-in-robins]

"Tim feels abandoned" "he's being ignored" "tim is jealous of the attention they give damian" "tim is-" tim drake would break out into actual literal hives at the thought of anything resembling an adult monitoring him, he'd starting hissing like a feral cat if Bruce tried to get involved with his business, he'd saw his own arm off if his family tried to demand he checks in more than once a month with heavily coded messages

[mikakuna]

jason as a child looking to bruce with so much love and trust is extremely important to me

[fanaticalthings]

Most children, once they've grown up and moved out, sometimes come back to visit their parents to use their house as a sort of personal grocery store

And with Bruce being a literal billionaire whose house is always stocked with food and supplies, the batkids (that aren't living in the manor) definitely visit just for the purpose of taking shit for themselves.

---

For Dick, it's just small things, food and maybe some utensils. Bruce is barely in the kitchen so he never notices dishes go missing, and there are like 10 other children in his house so literally any one of the younger kids could've stolen food in the middle of the night, so he doesn't bat an eye at all.

Babs probably steals Bruce's hardware or his tools from the batcave. Sometimes, if she's nice, she'll leave a note.

Steph probably takes shit that no one will notice at the time but will absolutely be annoyed about when they need said thing. Stapler, soap bars, the microwave plate, etc...(Taking after Jason, she steals the hub caps off the batmobile's tires)

However, for Jason, once his relationship with Bruce is somewhat decent, of course he's gonna be petty and start stealing the more expensive shit in the manor for his apartment. Jason's microwave is broken? The next day, the cave's self-made and enhanced microwave made by Bruce for convenience is just gone.

Jason's feeling a coffee maker for his place? The one in Bruce's study disappears, too.

---

At first, Bruce thinks he's just sleep deprived, but then much bigger things start to go missing, like the whole TV and couch set in the living room. He assumes the younger kids are just playing pranks on him (sounds like something Stephanie would do) but then Bruce notices that the thief deliberately avoids stealing things from the kitchen, which is where Alfred is most of the time, and suddenly Bruce has an irritated clue on who the culprit is.

At first, he doesn't say anything, until one day he comes back, tired from a patrol, and is about to log in all the info on the computer only to realize his batchair is gone. That's when he texts Jason a blunt "If you really need things for your place, you can just ask me. I'll buy them for you." (As if Jason himself isn't loaded from his totally legal activities)

---

So now Jason's pettiness levels increase tenfold, and oh, wouldn't you look at it, his bike needs some new tires, and he knows a great place to get some more.

One night, Bruce is just blearily getting up for a late night snack, only to see Damian scamper away with a...lamp? So Bruce immediately follows him into the foyer only to see ALL of his kids (sans the ones not living in the manor), trying to haul two arm chairs out the window, and they just stop dead silent to stare at him until someone whispers a nervous "Crap"

Bruce doesn't even have any energy to fight, he just pinches his nose and is all "What is the meaning of this" in his tired dad voice. And Duke meekly responds with "we wanted more chairs at Jason's place"

And suddenly it all makes sense. Not once did Bruce wonder how the HELL Jason managed to lug a whole 60in TV and a full couch set on his own in one night. Of course, he had accomplices. Bruce just turns right around and goes right the hell back to his room to sleep. He'll deal with this in the morning.