#SelfHelp

[yoursoulvisions]

The psychology of "awkward silence". Why does silence frighten us and how can we use its power?

Are you familiar with the discomfort when a conversation suddenly falls silent, especially on a date or in a business meeting? We instinctively try to fill the void with words, fearing an "awkward pause". But why does silence cause us such anxiety?

In reality, the fear of silence is often linked to social anxiety. We fear appearing boring, uninteresting, or eliciting negative judgment from the other person. In a culture focused on activity, silence seems like "emptiness" that needs to be urgently filled with words.

However, silence is not just a pause. In communication psychology, it’s a valuable tool. Silence allows time to reflect on what has been said, allows one to better hear the other person – not just their words but also their emotions – and amplifies the emotional impact of important phrases.

So how can we use the power of silence?

Accept silence. The first step is to realize that silence is normal and natural. Stop perceiving it as awkwardness, a catastrophe, or a sign of conversational failure.

Give yourself and the other person time. Don’t rush to fill every pause. Let silence be, allow both yourself and the other person time to reflect on what has been said and gather their thoughts.

Observe and listen actively. Use moments of silence to observe the other person more attentively. Look at their nonverbal cues, try to pick up on emotions that may be hidden behind words. Active listening in silence can give you more information than hasty questions and remarks.

Use pauses strategically. In business negotiations, presentations, and important conversations, use pauses consciously. Pause before an important point to draw attention. Pause afterward to allow time for reflection and amplify the effect.

Train your "tolerance for silence". Start small. In everyday conversations, consciously pause, don’t rush to answer immediately. Observe your reaction and the other person’s reaction. Gradually, you will learn to feel more comfortable with silence and use it to your advantage.

By rethinking your attitude towards silence, you will discover a powerful tool for deepening communication and strengthening emotional connection. Stop fearing silence start using its power.

[positiveseed]

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[theambitiouswoman]

Proof that you are healing ❤️‍🩹✨

Validation doesn’t validate you – You no longer need outside approval to feel worthy or secure.

Triggers don’t trigger you – You observe emotional reactions without letting them control you.

You respond instead of react – You pause, process, and choose a conscious response.

You no longer chase people – You know your worth and stop seeking validation from others.

You set boundaries without guilt – Saying no feels empowering, not shameful.

You don’t take things personally – Other people’s actions are about them, not you.

You embrace being alone – Being alone feels peaceful, not lonely.

You trust yourself – You make decisions based on intuition, not fear.

You release old narratives – You stop replaying past wounds and let go of victim mentality.

You allow happiness without fear – You stop waiting for something to go wrong when life is good.

You observe triggers instead of being consumed by them – Triggers become opportunities for self-awareness and growth.

You no longer seek revenge or prove points – You value your energy too much to waste it on unnecessary battles.

[strawberrysznn]

How to find the best version of yourself that you'll fall in love with

As someone who has gone through SO many versions of herself and is now slowly growing to be a person she's genuinely happy and in love with

Trust me when I say I've had a lot of identities these past few years. It took me a lot of time to really find the best version of myself, the version that I'm genuinely happy with, the version that my 10 year old self would have looked up to. However, it's different for everyone. The definition of an "it girl" to me might be different from your definition, and the personality and life that truly feels me might not suit you. So, please take note that this is highly subjective and it's all about you and what works for you.

The one and only thing I did to rebrand myself: I created a character.

I gave my character a new name. You can give yours your current one or a nickname. I gave mine my second name. I built this character, I envisioned her, I turned her into a realistic person that I knew I'd look up to.

Basically, create an alter ego. And it wasn't easy to curate this character for me, it took a lot of time for me to build her into someone that I'd want to be, someone that still has flaws but embodies the energy and lifestyle I want.

Know what you want. How does this new you act? What do they like and dislike? What matters to them? How do they impact the people around them? What are they like? How would you describe them? What are their flaws and how do they deal with it? What are the bad habits they got rid of?

Make sure this version you want feels like you. This isn't about turning into another person, it's about growing as a person. It's about looking in the mirror and loving what you see with no doubt and no regrets. It's about knowing what you want and taking it right away, and it's about taking control of your own life and shaping it into one that you will fall in love with every single day.

Look up to this person. Get to know this person, know every single thing about them. Make sure that as you create this alter ego, it's truly someone you'd 100% look up to.

Fall in love. Personally, this part is my favorite. I start to visualize and imagine this person so much that I completely fall in love with her. This version is me, truly me, and utterly me. It's not someone else, it's the person I want to be because everything about this person feels like me. I start to romanticize growing and becoming this person, slowly shaping myself, changing my lifestyle, taking action, taking initiative, and building myself and my life brick by brick to fall in love with what I see in the mirror.

Take action and build yourself up. Slowly embody this person. You can't change overnight, but you can grow and shape yourself step by step.

This is NOT about turning into someone else. This isn't about changing yourself to be more likeable or to please others. This is all about knowing what direction you want to go and taking it. Make sure this character is realistic and truly you. Do not try to be someone you won't be happy with, be someone that will make it easier for you to love yourself. Don't become someone that will only push you beyond your limits and break you, become someone who can take control of their own life enough to build their life solely for themselves.

Find yourself, find the best version of yourself, and you'll know what path to take. All you have to do now is take the path.

[pastel-charm-14]

12 habits to take up in june

1. starting your day with a gentle morning yoga routine. bonus points if it's outside.

2. take a daily nature walk and enjoy the weather.

3. add slices of your favorite fruits like strawberries, lemons, and mint to your water.

4. start a daily journal to reflect and practice gratitude.

5. try new seasonal recipes like salads and smoothies.

6. plant a flower, herb, or veggie garden.

7. read a good book at a park or in your backyard.

8. try creative hobbies like painting, knitting, or scrapbooking.

9. dedicate one day a week to being a self-care day. relax, take a long bath, do a face mask.

10. meditate for a few minutes every day.

11. go for bike rides in your neighborhood or on new trails.

12. go stargazing in a cozy spot with a blanket.

[wisterianwoman]

Replacing shame with gratitude is one simple step you can take TODAY to start cultivating self love.

YOUR GUIDE TO SELF-LOVE

[family-trauma]

[glowettee]

🦢 you don't need more tips, you need to trust yourself

hey lovelies!! mindy here, back with another "no aesthetics post". so i've been thinking about this a lot lately (like, literally in the middle of the night when i should be sleeping but my brain won't shut up??) and i realized something that honestly changed everything for me. we're all obsessed with consuming advice, tips, strategies… but at some point we need to ask: is all this "help" actually helping?

i used to be that girl with 27 self-help books on her nightstand, 14 productivity podcasts in my queue, and approximately 10000 saved posts about "how to live your best life." i was drowning in good advice. and yet? i wasn't actually doing anything with it all.

here's the uncomfortable truth that i personally learned: collecting self-help is often just another form of procrastination. we trick ourselves into thinking we're making progress because we're "learning," but we're actually just avoiding the scary part, taking action when we don't feel ready.

✧ when you know it's become a problem:

you feel like you need to read "just one more" article before starting

you have notebooks filled with advice you've never implemented

you follow dozens of gurus but haven't committed to any single approach

you constantly switch systems hoping to find the "perfect" one

you know what to do but still feel paralyzed

you use phrases like "once i learn enough about x, then i'll start"

you feel overwhelmed by conflicting advice but keep seeking more

the most painful realization? all this consumption is actually making you less confident. every new piece of advice makes you question your instincts more. every contradicting tip makes you doubt your judgment. every perfect "before and after" makes you wonder what's wrong with you.

✧ why we get stuck in the advice loop:

consuming feels safe. implementing feels risky. reading about someone else's success story gives us the emotional satisfaction of achievement without any of the messy work or potential failure. it's like emotional junk food, momentarily satisfying but ultimately empty.

plus, there's something so alluring about the promise that the next book, the next course, the next system will finally be THE ONE that changes everything. we become collectors of solutions rather than solvers of problems.

✧ how to break free (ironic, i know… more advice):

declare an information fast. seriously. no new self-help for at least 30 days. it will feel uncomfortable, like an itch you can't scratch. that's how you know you need it.

pick ONE system or approach you've already learned and commit to it fully. not perfectly, just consistently. the magic isn't in finding the perfect system, it's in the consistent application of any decent one.

start before you feel ready. that knot in your stomach when you think about taking action? that's your growth edge. the discomfort isn't a sign to seek more knowledge, it's the signal that you're about to grow.

recognize that implementation creates wisdom that consumption never will. you'll learn more from a week of messy action than a year of perfect theory.

identify your "consumption triggers" do you reach for advice when you're afraid? uncertain? compare yourself to others? notice the emotional patterns.

create an "already know" document. write down everything you already know about your goal. you'll be shocked at how much wisdom you already possess.

trust that you are the expert on your own life. external advice can inform you, but it can never know the nuances of your specific situation like you do.

the truth is, you already know enough. you've probably known enough for a while now. the answers you're seeking outside yourself are usually already within you, buried under layers of doubt and other people's opinions.

what if the most radical act of self-improvement isn't finding new advice, but trusting the wisdom you already have? what if you already have everything you need?

so this is my gentle nudge to put down the self-help, close the tabs, unfollow the gurus (yes, even me if you need to), and start the messy, imperfect process of actually living instead of just learning about living.

because honestly, the world doesn't need more people who know all the right theories. it needs people brave enough to take imperfect action on what they already know.

xoxo, mindy 🤍

p.s. if you're wondering "but how will i know what to do without guidance?", that's exactly the point. you won't know for certain. and that uncertainty is where the real growth happens. trust yourself anyway.

[thoughtstherapy]

@thoughtstherapy

[lovinglifeinspiringothers]

#lovinglife #inspiringothers #llio #life #inspiration #inspiring #luvlife #lovinlife #inspire #luvinlife

[adviceformefromme]

The vision, the vision for your life that is completely unique for you, that there is on the table for you. It’s within reach. Your job is to align yourself. To tap into to your intuition. To be obedient to your heart. Your internal GPS, even when it doesn’t make sense. And you do this step by step. Listening to your body. Listening to God. It requires a presence. It requires trust. It requires you to get out of your own way. There is no trying to control; you’re not in control. Just like the dreams in your heart, you didn’t get to choose them. They are just there, and the thought of them lights up your soul. So you’re job today…Listen. Day by day. No future tripping. No worrying about money, about this about that. Just listen to the guidance day by day, where am I being guided towards? Take actions only based on this, and move accordingly with confidence, and with this alignment your dreams will be ready to touch you in ways you could never imagine. 

[qbdatabase]

Dear Bi Men by J. R. Yussuf: An unapologetic guide for readers who are Black, masc, and bi—unlearning biphobia, coming out, combatting erasure, and embodying your whole self. Rich with personal narratives, insightful analysis, and practical advice, Yussuf offers a resource for Black bi+ men—and to all readers looking to fight back against the erasure and dehumanization wrought by patriarchy. ..... View the full summary and rep info on wordpress!

[positiveseed]

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[theambitiouswoman]

Questions To Ask Yourself If You Want To Become The Best Version of Yourself

What do I really care about? What things are really important to me?

What am I good at, and where do I need help? What am I strong in, and what could I get better at?

What do I want to achieve soon and later? What things do I want to do soon, and what are my bigger, long-term goals?

Am I trying new things and not just staying comfy? Am I doing things that might be a bit scary but good for me?

How do I deal with problems and when things go wrong? What do I do when stuff doesn't work out?

Am I nice to myself when things don't go well? Do I treat myself kindly, especially when things are tough?

How do I use my time, and what's most important? How do I plan my day, and what things matter the most?

Am I learning new stuff regularly? Do I keep finding out new things?

Do I have a good balance between work and fun? Do I make sure to have enough time for work and for things I enjoy?

Do I have good friendships and avoid bad ones? Am I friends with people who make me feel good?

Do I take care of my body? Am I eating well, exercising, and sleeping enough?

Do I think about my feelings and thoughts? Do I pay attention to how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking?

How do I deal with stress and make myself calm? What do I do when I'm stressed out?

Do I help others and make the world better? Do I do things to make people's lives nicer?

Do I have good habits and get rid of bad ones? Are there things I do every day that are good for me? Are there things I should stop doing?

Do I learn from what people say about me? When people give me advice, do I listen and try to get better?

Do I say no when I need to? Do I tell people when I need space or when something isn't okay for me?

What makes me really happy? What do I like to do that makes me feel great?

Do I use money wisely? Am I good at saving and spending money in smart ways?

Do I believe I can improve and get better? When things are tough, do I think I can get through them and learn something?Am I being kind to others and making them feel good? Do I treat people nicely and make them happy?

Do I learn from things I do wrong? When I make a mistake, do I figure out how to do better next time?

Do I try new things, even if they scare me a little? Do I give things a shot, even if they seem a bit scary?

Am I spending time with people who care about me? Do I hang out with folks who like me for who I am?

Do I eat healthy foods and move my body? Am I eating good stuff and getting some exercise?

Am I sharing and helping others when I can? Do I give stuff to others and lend a hand when I'm able to?

Am I paying attention when people talk to me? Do I really listen when others are speaking to me?

Do I take breaks and do things I enjoy? Do I give myself time to rest and do things I like?

Do I say sorry and make up if I hurt someone? When I make someone feel bad, do I apologize and try to make things better?

Do I imagine good things for myself in the future? Do I think about cool stuff I want to do?

Do I stop and relax when I'm feeling stressed? When I'm worried, do I take a moment to calm down?

Do I ask for help when I need it? Do I tell someone when I can't do something on my own?

Do I try my best, even when things are tricky? Even if it's hard, do I give it my all?

Do I pick up after myself and keep things tidy? Am I good at cleaning up and keeping things in order?

Do I use my time for things that matter most? Do I do important stuff before other things?

Do I think about good things that happened today? Do I remember all the nice things that occurred?

Am I okay with making mistakes and learning from them? Do I know it's okay to mess up sometimes and learn from it?

Do I show appreciation for the people around me? Do I let others know I'm thankful for them?

Do I take deep breaths and relax when I'm upset? When I'm mad, do I breathe and try to calm down?

Do I believe I can do better and keep growing? Do I think I can get better at things and keep getting smarter?

Am I happy with who I am right now? Do I like myself just as I am?

Do I feel okay when things don't go as planned? When stuff doesn't work out, do I stay calm?

Do I think about good things about myself? Do I focus on the nice parts of me?

Do I let go of things that make me sad? When something makes me upset, can I move on from it?

Do I notice when I'm feeling worried or scared? Am I aware of when I'm feeling nervous or frightened?

Do I believe I can do things even if they're tough? Can I do hard things if I try?

Do I try to make my mind peaceful? Do I relax my thoughts when they're racing?

Do I find things that make me feel relaxed? What can I do to feel calm and at ease?

Am I patient when things take time? Can I wait without getting upset?

Do I talk kindly to myself in my head? Do I say nice things to myself in my mind?

Am I curious about things and want to learn? Do I like to find out new stuff?

Do I think about good times and happy memories? Do I remember fun things that happened before?

Do I try to understand how others feel? Can I tell what others are feeling?

Do I imagine nice things happening in the future? Can I think about good stuff that might come?

Do I take time to rest and be by myself? Do I give myself breaks and quiet time?

Do I let go of things I can't change? Can I forget about things I can't do anything about?

Do I believe I can do things even if I don't know how yet? Do I think I can learn new things?

Do I tell myself I'm doing a good job? Do I give myself a pat on the back?

Do I stay calm even if things are really busy? Can I be relaxed even when things are crazy?

Do I know that I can make mistakes and it's okay? Do I understand that everyone messes up sometimes?

[strawberrysznn]

Beauty AND brains. Your knowledge is your weapon.

Let's not only be insanely beautiful but also disgustingly educated. Other than discipline and hard work, your knowledge is your weapon in this world of chaos, something that you can sharpen and use.

Where can you expand your knowledge? What areas, what topics

How can you expand your knowledge? In different circumstances and preferences such as if you're too busy or if you have a short attention span

Where can you expand your knowledge?

I DO NOT mean that you need to be an expert at everything. You don't need multiple degrees for each type of intelligence. However, if you want to sharpen your weapon, sharpen your knowledge.

These are the areas where you CAN sharpen your knowledge AND the areas where you SHOULD know the basics in:

Emotional, Communication, Morals, Ethics. Be human, and make others feel human too. Cultivate empathy, understand mental health, build your conscience, and differentiate right from wrong. Communicate frequently and effectively.

History, Culture, Politics. The world is chaotic — learn to stand your ground. Understand history, politics, corruption, culture, and the overlooked heroes. Know what shaped the past to navigate the future.

Digital Literacy. The internet is a double-edged sword. Learn to navigate it safely, protect your privacy, spot misinformation, and adapt to evolving technology.

Manners, Etiquette, Body Language. The way you present yourself matters. Respect others, read unspoken cues, and master the art of presence.

Self-Sufficiency, Life Skills, Livelihood. You won’t always have someone to rely on. Cook, clean, manage time, handle money, and adapt to life’s challenges. Be independent.

Literature, Language, Writing. Words are power. Read, write, and communicate with depth. Language shapes history, culture, and thought—use it wisely.

Critical Thinking, Problem-Solving. The world isn’t black and white. Question everything, analyze critically, recognize manipulation, and think for yourself. Don't be swayed easily by others.

Science and Math. The foundation of everything. At least know the basics, enough to understand the forces shaping the world — logic, numbers, and the universe itself.

Self-Care, Hygiene, Fitness, Health. Your body and mind are your greatest assets. Eat well, stay active, manage stress, and prioritize your well-being before it’s too late.

How can you expand your knowledge?

When you have free time When you're busy When you prefer learning visually When you have little to no attention span

You are what you consume. Now that you know what topics you can expand your knowledge on, these are what you can use / do to consume those information:

Have some free time? Do / use these

Read books, take online courses, or watch in-depth documentaries. (Example: history books, finance courses, science explainers) Engage in discussions or debates to refine your thinking. (Example: politics, ethics, critical thinking) Try hands-on learning like experiments, DIY projects, or journaling. (Example: cooking, coding, writing) Attend workshops, seminars, or community events.

Too busy? Do / use these

Listen to podcasts or audiobooks while traveling, doing tasks / work / school work, or doing chores. (Example: podcasts on Spotify / Tiktok, Youtube videos where the creator is more on speaking, audiobooks on Audible or by downloading a free e-pub format e-book online then uploading it into Google Playbooks and using the audiobook / text-to-speech format) Follow bite-sized content on social media. (Example: short educational / history Tiktok videos, digital literacy infographics, photos on Pinterest) Take advantage of apps and tools for productivity, learning, etc. (Example: budgeting apps, language-learning apps) Watch short, informative videos during breaks. (Example: TED-Ed, Ted Talks, short Tiktok videos)

Like to learn visually / by watching? Do / use these

Watch video explainers, documentaries, or animated infographics. Use apps that gamify learning. (Example: Duolingo for language, Codecademy for coding) Follow visually engaging content creators. (Example: finance charts, body language breakdowns) Make mind maps or illustrated notes to break down complex topics. (Example: self-care routines, political structures, problem-solving techniques)

Little to no attention span? Do / use these

Learn through short-form content like TikToks, reels, or infographics. Play interactive or gamified learning apps. (Example: strategy games, trivia quizzes) Follow meme-based or storytelling-style education accounts. Try hands-on, fast-paced activities. (Example: debate flash rounds, real-world problem-solving challenges, DIY experiments)

Begin small, learn the basics, take a step at a time, and start from there. Be BOTH beauty and brains. You have a weapon (your knowledge), sharpen it and use it.

[solember]

Ouch, that hurt right in the feels