#Tim is my little chaos gremlin

[ghost-bxrd]

Slightly dark/insane batfam who is overjoyed to have Jason back from death is one of my favorite aus ever. Like imagine Bruce being oh so proud of his son who ended entire gangs and built an empire in a matter of months before he even turned 19. Ofc he's gonna brag to this fellow JL members. His kid is just so driven and smart! Jason has no idea if they were always like this or if his death made them this way but he's not complaining (much).

Ooo that would be interesting!

Like, a Batman who still doesn’t kill and adheres to his moral code but has absolutely no problem if his kids turn murderous. He’s a proud and supportive dad either way, the only rule he has is that they keep it strictly to criminals and leave alone the regular civilians.

He went a little cuckoo when he lost Jason. As did Dick. (And Tim wasn’t sane either way lmao)

[flamingpudding]

He's my clockwork appointed babysitter, not dad.

They failed, even they managed to beat all the cultist in time. The ritual was still completed. The leader was laughing like a maniac until Hood hit him hard with the butt of his gun, knocking the guy out cold finally. With held breaths, they watched how smoke rose from the ritual circle higher and higher until it started to form a black shadow with stars as eyes and too many teeth and limps. Batman was on his way with Constantine. Maybe they could at least contain whatever that was until they arrived.

"Who in the name of all good and holy dared to summon me?!" A static scratchy voice echoed in their ears.

No one dared to answer at first but of course Red I-fear-nothing Hood had to open his mouth earning him death glares from his siblings. "Aren't you like a demon? Why would you mention anything good and holy?"

That think was blinking at them and Tim did a double take when that think moved its many limps like it was rubbing the back of its neck.

"In the name of all bad and cursed then?" It sounded unsure still a booming echo like voice but unsure. They shared a look. Dick opened his mouth, ready to say something when suddenly a familiar voice shouted from behind them.

"Cut the crap kid! They are the Batsie and his birds belong to the good!"

They turned to see Constantine marching in with Batman right behind him. The man was throwing the but of his cigarette way as he went right up to that demon. Which apparently was not one because right as the Brite was up to it a puff of greenish some blocked their view for a moment before a white haired child stood where the demon had been seconds ago.

"The hell you doing out here kid. I told you to stay at home."

"You try resisting a summon when your all new to the fact that you can get summoned!"

"Your going to make my hair gray faster, you little chaos gremlin."

"Aw love you too!"

"Uh Constantine?" They had question of of them was that Constantine was apparently familiar with that child, demon, whatever.

"Right." The man lit another cigarette but before he could even take one drag of it he side eyed the child staring up at him before he flicked it to the side. "Bats my demon son, Danny the Bats."

"Demon son?"

"Actually I am-" They watched how Constantine covered the child's, Danny's, mouth with his hand shushing the boy.

"What did I tell you about interdimensional secrets? That's right, do not talk about them to just anyone. We are not repeating the Green Lantern incident."

Should they feel offended? It felt like they should. They weren't just anyone.

"Constantine." Batman gruffly warned, but the man held up one hand towards them. Batman was definitely offended that Green Lantern got to learn something he wasn't getting to know on Constantine's watch.

"One moment Batsie. I need to- did you gremlin just lick my hand?!"

The moment Constantine removed his hand the child stuck his tongue out at the JL Dark member and made a break for it to hide behind Batman.

"Get back here you little..."

"No! I am always stuck at home, and you promised me I would get to see the watchtower at last month!"

Batman blocked Constantine from getting to who was apparently the man's demon son. Staring at the man as the boy grinned in triumph.

"Mate get out of the way, this kid needs to get grounded again."

"For what?"

"Being a chaos gremlin that won't listen."

The rest of the batfam had only one burning question on their mind. "Which demon was willing enough to have a child with Constantine?"

Well, except for Tim who had caught the little tidbit of interdimensional secret and was wondering who Danny really was.

[spacedace]

@proshipper-on-ship​ thank you for the Dick & Dan idea you added to my other post, please enjoy some of the fall out your comment resulted in haha

“So,” Bruce tried, looking hesitantly pleased at the surprisingly light atmosphere around the table. “Anything new and exciting going on with anyone?”

There was a smattering of answers from around the table. Jason didn’t offer anything - which wasn’t surprising, that he was even there and largely not starting a fight was more than enough as far as Dick was concerned - but with some ribbing from Steph, Tim eventually admitted to finally asking that boy he’d been interested in out. Dick joined in on teasing his little brother - and even Jay gave, for him, some gentle ribbing over finally getting the balls to do something, eh Timberland? - while very carefully avoiding mentioning his own sorta-kinda thing with Dan in Bludhaven. He’d deal with his siblings making him miserable and embarrassed over it all when he actually scored a date with him thanks very much.

Things were going good.

And then Damian cleared his throat, looking imperious and uninterested at the same time as he waited for everyone to turn to look at him.

“I have an announcement on an alteration to my personal life.” He declared, chin up and looking like he was already over this whole family-bonding-time thing, which was fair. Damian had gotten better over the years, but he was still not exactly the cute and cuddly little brother. Dick still had the scar from the last time he tried to hug Dami without warning a year ago and got stabbed for the effort. Still, he was sharing, willingly even! That’s progress!

At the head of the table Bruce tilted his head, looking as cautiously hopeful as Dick felt over the youngest Wayne actually offering to share something personal. “Have you decided on what college you want to go to then?”

“No.” Dami dismissed easily, without more than a glance in Bruce’s direction. “Night and I have decided to take some time to travel before continuing any further schooling.”

Huh, honestly, Dick was kinda surprised. With how much of a perfectionist Dami was, he’d thought he’d throw himself into college with the same ferocious, competitive drive he did everything else. But then again, if Elle Nightingale was going to be taking a gap year or two, it wasn’t as if it was that much of a surprise that Dami would go and join her.

The two gremlins had been practically inseparable since they were twelve and discovered a shared love of stabbing people and adopting every animal they see. If Dami’s best friend was going to go gallivanting across the world like she always dreamed of doing, Dick couldn’t actually be that  surprised that Dami would be going with her.

Dick took a sip of his drink as Dami opened his mouth to continue with what was probably going to be to most people the world’s most harrowing game of “how many incredibly dangerous animals can we see before we end up dead on our gap year” that the two demons were undoubtedly planning.

He regretted taking that sip almost immediately as Damian said, “Night and I took our marital vows yesterday. She sends her regrets that she was unable to join us for family dinner tonight.”

Predictably, the room broke out into utter chaos.

Dick choked on his drink, spraying across the table and splattering Babs with a shower of wine. She didn’t even seem to notice, dropping her own glass as she snapped her head over to stare at Damian, the sound of breaking glass and a deep red stain pooling across the table following as she did. At the end of the table, Jay made a noise like a dying goose as the samosa he’d just popped in his mouth threatened to kill him. Cass, perhaps the most outwardly calm at the proclamation, only stared with wide eyes at her younger brother as she hit Jason on the back in an attempt to make sure he didn’t die.

Dick could practically hear the old shrieking AOL dial up noise that was Tim’s brain attempting to process what his little brother had just said, while sitting next to him Steph gave a small shriek of you what? Duke’s head was on a swivel, eyes darting from Damian, to another family member, to Damian and back again as if unsure who to even look at in the moment.

Bruce just…stared, frozen in place, face caught in the most open look of shock Dick thinks the man has ever shown in his life.

—

Damian sniffed and cast a caustic look towards - of all people - Jason, “Unlike some people, I share my good news with the family in a timely manner.”

Jay sputtered, “You know what, fuck you! Fine, you want me to share the news?” Jay snapped his head towards the rest of them. “Jazz is pregnant, baby is due next month on the sixth. Baby shower’s next weekend at Robinson Park, show up or don’t, I really don’t give a fuck.”

Or maybe he was just going to try to kill them with a heart attack.

“What the fuck?!”

“Language!”

“Who the fuck is Jazz?!”

“Language!”

“Night’s elder sister and guardian, Drake, keep up. You should know this, you’re dating her brother.”

“I’m what?”

“And Grayson is having flirtations with her other brother.”

“Dan is Elle’s older brother? Wait - how do you know about that?”

“Todd and I are in the Nightingale family group chat. We have endured far too much waxing poet about your posterior over the past months.”

“Why do they all have variations of the same name? Who gives all their children the same name?”

“He likes my ass?”

“Oh my god, bigger picture Dick, focus.”

“Seriously, do they all have the same name outside of the older sister? I feel like we need to acknowledge they all have the same name.”

“Can we go back to the fact that Damian got married? To Elle? Yesterday? How did you even do that without anyone knowing?

“Dr. Nightingale is a notary.”

“…Dr. Nightingale as in the woman Bruce is investigating Dr. Nightingale?”

“Okay but the name thing? Please tell me you’re not naming the baby some variation of the name Daniel.”

“If the gremlins get their way it will be. Do you know how many lists we’ve made that they keep sabotaging?”

“So you have Dan’s number? Could you give it to me?”

“Jesus Christ, Dick I’m begging you.”

“Why did you guys even get married?”

“For the diplomatic immunity.”

“You don’t have diplomatic immunity.”

“I do now.”

“What does that mean?”

[disillusioneddanny]

It’s me, hi I’m the problem is me (dead tired)

The world was ending.

That was the thing Tim had come to accept. Somehow, all of the big bads had made friends and decided to work together to take over the universe and split it amongst themselves. Darkseid, Trigun, Barbatos, they had all gotten together to conquer the universe. Raven was completely drained, The supers three were in the infirmary, and the Lanterns Corp were barely holding them back, losing every second. Hell, even the Justice League Dark were down for the count.

“What are we doing to do?” Nightwing murmured, watching as the Lanterns slowly lost momentum.

“I-I don’t know,” Bruce whispered. Tim’s adoptive father had ripped of his cowl, his hair stood mussed from continuously running his fingers through his hair in stress. Batman, Wonder Woman, and Aquaman stood over all of the contingencies Bruce had ever collected on the three big bads.

Robin stared at the screen that showed the devastation, a frown prominent on his face. “So this is it? We just give up?”

“No,” Red Hood said walking into the room with Arsenal and Starfire in tow. Behind the three stood a young man. He had Lazarus green eyes, snow white hair, slightly blue skin, and pointed ears. His body adorned in black armor, a blue crown floated above his head and a large cape hung from his body with galaxies swirling around. He looked to be Tim’s age, maybe just a little older than him, somewhere between his and Jason’s age.

“Who’s this?”

The being stepped forward, jewelry that hung from his ears tinkled slightly when he did and jeez, he was beautiful.

“My name is Phantom,” the being said with a serene smile. He was otherworldly, unlike anything Tim had ever seen in his life. “I am High King of the Infinite Realms. Jason asked me to come and assist with an issue you are dealing with,” he said, his eyes flicked to the large monitor curiously, tilting his head to the side, the silver that hng from his ears clangled once more. “Ah, those three, how fun.”

“How do you uh, how do you know Jason?” Tim asked, stepping towards the king.

At this, Phantom had an amused smile on his face as he looked back at Jason. “You never told them?”

Jason let out a groan of annoyance, pinching the bridge of his nose as he did. “When I died, Phantom found me in the ghost zone, I never actually moved one when I died. For those six months I just hung out in the ghost zone and became friends with Phantom. Before I came back, he declared me as one of his Fright Knights. And last years he ran into me during one of my missions and brought back my memories from when I died and fixed the pit rage.”

Phantom nodded, a wide grin on his face. “Jason made a lousy ghost. Now, how about I go fix this issue for you all real quick?” He said before he disappeared. Tim went to ask Jason about Phantom only for his father to beat him to the punch.

“Is this why we haven’t been able to get in contact with you?” Bruce asked, furrowing his brow. Jason shrugged.

“Couldn’t find the sword he left me that lets me summon him. Turns out I left it on Kori’s ship so she had to travel to come get me. From there it took a bit for me to remember how to summon him, I’ve never actually done it before so it took a few tries to get it right. And of course Phantom thought it was a social call and he loves to talk so it took a little bit to explain. And on top of that, time works different in the Realms. And Klarion was there so it just took a little longet than I wanted it to but he’s here and he’ll take care of the issue super quick.”

“Klarion?”

“Yeah he’s dating Phantom’s clone, he hates their relationship like a lot but it’s like two little chaos gremlins,” Jason said with a chuckle.

“How old is Phantom?” Tim blurted out.

Jason gave the nineteen year old a confused look but chuckled nonetheless. “He’s twenty.”

“Twenty and he is already a king?” Aquaman said, looking more and more interested in Phantom.

“Been king since he was fourteen,” Jason said, sucking at his teeth before he looked at the monitor and started snickering. Tim followed his gaze and smiled when he saw Phantom grow a third arm and grabbed all three beings by their ears, shrinking them down to his size before he dragged them away from the Lanterns before they disappeared.

Soon after the four reappeared in front of Bruce, Diana and Arthur who all looked on curiously.

“Kneel,” Phantom ordered. The three beings fell harshly to their knees. “I am beyond disappointed in the three of you. Are your realms not enough? What makes you think that you have the right to take over dimensions that do not belong to you?”

“But-” Trigon started.

“No buts from you, Trigon. The only reason you’re even still the ruler of your world is because none of your children want the position,” Phantom said. “Due to your crimes against this realm I hearby sentence you all to a millenia in the Fright Zone. Jason,” he instructed.

Jason grinned and pulled his sword from its sheath and stepped forward. With a quick swipe, all three disappeared from view.

Phantom stepped towards the three heroes and dipped his head in a polite bow. “They should not cause anymore issues. I apologize that I could not get here sooner. While I may be ll power, I am not all seeing and Kronos does not always deem it fit to tell me when my underlings are causing issues,” he said with a polite smile. “Does anyone have any paper or something to write on?”

“I uh, I have a tablet, I can just pull up something,” Tim stammered, stepping forward. Phantom smiled in thanks, taking the tablet from Tim. He drew out a complicated sigil and set it on the large table.

“This is my official line. Next time you are in a situation such as this, please do not hesitate to summon me,” he said before he looked at Tim and looked him up and down, a single fang peeked from under his lip. “As for you, Handsome, feel free to get my personal sigil from your brother and call me anytime.”

Before Tim could say another word, the High King disappeared and Tim immediately turned towards his brother with wide eyes. “ Jason ,” he hissed.

“He’s my fucking friend! I don’t want you dating him,” Jason shouted, running out of the room with Tim following close behind.

[emo-batboy]

thoughts on battinson with his like seven kids and they have to suffer through everyone wanting to fuck him cause have you seen him??

Alright so this response kinda works in a competely separate realm of canon than what I usually post. I’m gonna preface that right now, but BOY do I have thoughts :D

So when I think of Battinson and his (non)accidental orphan acquisition, I see Battinson as being on a much more even playing field emotionally than most other iterations. He’s not really as stoic and put-together, so having kids (especially multiple) would cause a LOT more chaos and drama. So in this case, I like to think that it happens at a very rapid rate. (Again, I’m saying this because this require straying from the film’s canon to a much larger degree than I usually do.) SO by the time he’s 32, he has an 11yo Dick, a 9yo Jason, and an 8yo Tim. And they probably grow with him much like teen parents do with their kids. He’s not as authoritative as most parents. Instead, he starts out as like half older brother, half dad, then graduates to the roll of batdad after his whole vengeance era.

THAT ALL BEING SAID!! BECAUSE THEY’RE SO MUCH OLDER AND BRUCE IS YOUNGER, THEY DEAL WITH A LOOOOTTTTTT OF CREEPY LADIES TRYING GO GET WITH THEIR DAD. (AND THEY ARE VERY. SMART. FOR THEIR AGE)

Dick, older brother and the leader of the “Save Dad and Our Childhood Innocence” brigade teaches the three everything there is to know. He is the most experienced with these awful public events like galas and charity auctions, so he is in control.

And it is SO much easier to get the creepy suitors to back off when they work as a team

Dick talks everyone’s ears off. He’s the golden boy (getting perfect grades and gold medals in his school’s gymnastics team) so he EASILY gets away with distracting people

Dick will insert himself into adult conversations all the time, and Bruce always lets him, which allows Jason and Tim to wreak havoc on whatever target they chose.

Whenever it isn’t too obvious or it’s late enough in the night, Jason will fake a cold or a headache sometimes (he’s prone to falling sick) and Bruce will insist that he take his kid home and tuck him into bed himself, very fatherly

Tim uses his Youngest Child points to woo the nicer ones and direct them away from Bruce, but it doesn’t usually works on the gold diggers (and thank god because Tim HATES acting cute) so he’ll use it on Bruce instead

When those three plans don’t work, the three gremlins start getting Creative TM

Jason, taking a swig from some wine glass and proceeding to spray it all over Vicky Vale’s white dress: “This isn’t grape juice!”

Tim, resident iPad kid and (despite popular belief) The Most Evil of the Three, sees some lady touching his batdad so he finds her phone number on an online directory and prank calls her every time she gets too close

Suitor: “Your father is very handsome.” Dick: “My father’s dead :(” “…” “Oh wait, you mean Bruce! Yeah, he’s nice.”

One lady starts hanging off of Bruce, but he needs to run off to say hello to an investor. Jason appears from nowhere in his dapper little tux and the lady just says, “So uhh, you like the Wiggles, right?” Jason: “Nope! Have you ever read Crime and Punishment? :)”

Dick “accidentally” slaps some obnoxious guests with his wild hand gestures “Oh no! I’m so sorry :(( Let me get you an ice pack” and pulls them away while the other two hide their laughter

One of the ladies who is WAY too comfortable and forward when flirting with Bruce is forced to sit down with Tim and he goes in head first “what are you doing with my dad?” “oh you know what adults do, honey. Messing around, having fun” and he’s like “well My dad doesn’t look interested” “of course he is! who knows? Maybe we’ll hit it off and make another one of you one day” which gives Tim intense psychic damage, but he’s a horrible little brat so he doesn’t give up. He hits her with the innocent doe eyes and asks in the cutest fucking voice “Where do babies come from?” she BOOKS IT (they never see her again)

Anyway, to answer your question: they are little terrors. and Bruce knows they’re little terrors, but he doesn’t care because he hates the creepy attention even more than they do, but this way it comes with a show :D

[hijinxinprogress]

The JL finds out Captain Marvels identity and regrets it immensely

JL find out Captain Marvels a child and they start trying to parent him and just being awkward so it’s decided that Captain Marvel will join YJ (Clark started referring to Billy only as ‘son’ and ‘young man’ one time Billy saw an airplane and Clark leaned down and went “That there, son, is called an airplane and it-” “I’ll fucking stab you istg”)

To the public Captain Marvel is just extra supervision for YJ but the hero community knows it’s a way to discretely move Captain Marvel onto a team with people his age and be ‘safer’

But it doesn’t work out the way they want bc Billy’s a chaos gremlin much like YJ so they’re just doing dumb shit in the public eye bc they technically have ‘adult supervision’ (it takes Billy fifteen minutes to convince yj to go against being supervised by green lanterns)

“We’re literally your coworkers??” “I’ve literally never seen you before besides isn’t it illegal for cops to question a minor without their guardian present? 🤨” “Technically, he’s not their coworker bc he’s not in the jl anymore” “Kon” “What? I’m just saying!” “Stfu wait does Marvel even have a guardian??” “He doesn’t”

Anita and Billy are trading magic tips and teaching each other spells they should NOT have access to esp bc they’ve blown up thirteen city blocks and 1/4 of almost every planet they’ve visited with YJ

Cassie and Billy play high stakes games of catch above the earths atmosphere with missiles and shit in their free time and also during missions

Kon and Billy do just plain dumb shit they have no business doing and then playing up the ‘I’m just a baby…and I’m not even really human/I didn’t have a childhood so how would I know that I shouldn’t do that?’ excuse after bankrupting Luthor for the third time this month along with demolishing all of his newly renovated buildings (Which he and Greta repurposed to create low income housing and food pantries)

Cissie invites Marvel to all her Olympic events and he shows up to every single one with an obnoxiously large magical banner

Bart and Billy plan quips, one liners, and trash talk together and everyone hates it bc they only use the good ones on them but villains (along with everyone in their immediate vicinity) are subjected exclusively to shit like “nuh uh” and “make me”

Greta and Billy are taking down shady government operations with zero fucks to give (they had houses built for the people affected but they did also send a very long list of people to the hospital/morgue)

Billy makes Tim a magic skateboard that flies at like Mach 1 with so many magic cameras it’s concerning bc he thinks Tim being unhinged is funny especially it inconveniences or at least stresses out batman

But they’re mostly talking about what lies they’ve told the jl recently so they can plan their lies around each other “I lied to batman yesterday so you gotta back me up” and Tim’s fabricating evidence despite having no other information bc Billy will 100% “Aren’t you a so called ‘ethical’ billionaire? Nonono it’s whatever, I just thought you’d want to look out for the people but-”

And JL tries to lecture Billy about it ‘you should be more mature. I expected better’ and he’s just like ‘why?? I’m baby 🥺 I don’t know any better’ 

And Green Arrow’s so goddamn confused bc ‘Bro?? I’ve watched you do negotiations when Superman’s not available…’ ‘I’m just a little guy’ ‘I’VE WATCHED YOU STOP A WHOLE ASS INVASION IN TEN MINUTES’ ‘little baby man’ ‘But you’re one of the strongest members of the league???’ ‘You do know I couldn’t tie my own shoes like six years ago, right?’ ‘HOW OLD ARE YOU’ ‘Wouldn’t you like to know’

YJ and Billy just do a bunch of petty shit until JL has had enough and they’re like fine whatever it wasn’t a problem before

[call-me-strega]

How to Become a Step-Dad: Lore

Edited: 10/16/2023

While I am currently in between writing chapters I thought I’d release a little bit of the lore that will be incorporated in the story or that I think is canon but might not get mentioned since the story is mostly Jason’s perspective.

What’s up with Jason?

So in this au Jason went through basically all his canon backstory and stuff already so that’s established and done with. Some smaller points that may or may not come up are things like his possession of the all-blades, his time on Nanda Parbat, Talia essentially adopting him, or his experience being Catatonic. Speaking of which, I have decided his resurrection came from his righteous anger combining with the ectoplasm in Gotham’s atmosphere, and he is essentially a revenant for the purposes of this story (he’s about a fourth ghost? Or maybe 3/4ths? 3/5ths? Idk yet).

He does already have a reputation in the Infinite Realms as “The Avenger” and “Son/Knight of Gotham” due both to the existence of city spirit Lady Gotham and the ghosts of people who’ve died in Gotham. He actually has a rabid fan club who want him to kill the Joker( if he became a ghost he’d be tried and banished to the nightmare realm).

I am also going to use “the pits are corrupted ectoplasm” trope in the story. However, they’re gonna be corrupted less in the sense of being straight-up poison and more in the sense of eating a weird mushroom with weird side effects (rage, slightly sentient/vocal core, white trauma streak)

As for his relationship with the Bat Family, we’ve moved to a point where everyone’s more or less made up. For Jason and Bruce specifically, they are now more civil. Their relationship is less “ What you’re doing is wrong and you have to stop.” vs “ I’m just doing what you won’t” and now it’s more “ I don’t fully approve of your decisions, but as long as you’re not killing people and coming home for dinner, I don’t care enough to nag you about it” vs “ You’re my dad and I love you. Plus actively killing people is no longer super necessary so I will give in but I still enjoy pissing you off”.

In terms of sibling relationships, Jason has like the cool older brother vibe but he’s actually the semi-responsible one that feeds you when you come over and makes you do homework and sleep properly. He’s still down for shenanigans but is low-key a mom friend. (Dick is not the “responsible one” he is a certified chaos gremlin. Not to say he can’t be responsible, he’s just not the one enforcing these things. He cares more about your social, emotional, and/or, mental state and would help you skip school to steal a penguin or go to ComiCon or smth if you said it was a “mental health day”). I think he has semi-regular hangouts with his siblings on a weekly basis.

I like to think that he and Damien did have a bit of interaction when they were both with the League so they do have a close bond there. He’s definitely apologized to Tim a bunch of times and they’re pretty close now they like scheming together, especially on how to annoy Bruce. Overall he’s largely made up and re-integrated with the family. It’s going to be mentioned later in the story that they resurrected his civilian identity as Jason Todd, so he can publicly be seen with his family and also to do work with the family.

This brings me to my next point of lore: that as Jason gains more control of Crime Alley, he focuses his efforts more into charity work. He’s helping the people get their education, get better access to healthcare, get better job opportunities, running soup kitchens, etc., and doing more humanitarian-focused work. He has got a pretty firm grip on crime and drugs so he’s shifting his focus more towards helping the people now. Even just being part of his gang can be helpful because he works with the Goonion (Goon Union) and offers good insurance plans and stuff. That’s part of the reason they resurrect his civilian identity is so that he can start working with/taking over the Wayne foundation.

What’s up with Danny and Ellie?

Okay so first things first in the story Danny is going to be the ghost prince (not king yet for a long while) and he acts as a junior member on the Council of Ancients who rule with Clockwork acting as his main regent. Meaning that Council + Danny make decisions and Clockwork is Danny’s ghost dad and is formal regent but mostly just handles things with help from the council. Essentially, after at least a couple thousand years Danny will be considered “of age” or eligible and take over the Infinite Realms; and after several billion he’ll become the ancient of space/reality and essentially become a god or primordial being of sorts. Also being of age is different than being an adult ghost. To be an adult ghost you need to have been a ghost for at least 20 years after your lifetime, unless you’re an eternal kid ghost like Youngblood or BoxLunch. So ghosts like Technus, the Box Ghost, and Lunch Lady are all adult ghosts. Whereas ghosts like Johnny 13, Kitty and maybe Ember either aren’t yet adult ghosts or became adult ghosts recently. Ellie ranks as princess and second-in-line, she’ll go through a similar process and eventually join the Council, become a diplomat, and/or rule as regent if/when Danny leaves the Ghost Zone. I’m gonna say all other afterlife’s and stuff are connected to the Zone and their respective leaders make up Phantom’s Court. (So basically he’s king and they are like the nobles). They all govern their own territories and Phantom handles any rouges or conflicts. When Ellie gets older she’ll move between realms on diplomatic missions to lighten some of Danny’s work. I haven’t decided what this means for anyone who is currently mortal and/or liminal. I might just have them live, fulfilling lives and pass away and move on to different afterlives. Or I might have them take places within the Phantom’s court or as advisors. And on the topic: Jazz, the Fenton parents, Sam, and Tucker are all fairly liminal, Jazz and the Dr.s Fenton a bit more than the other two. Everyone in Amity has a little bit of liminality, but not enough to affect their life spans or anything. Also, Vlad is still currently his usual, creepy, Frootloopy-self. But after screwing him over in this fic eventually, I want to have him arrested by the ghost police and spend several thousand years in ghost prison before he gets let out. Then he works on improving his relationships and post-redemption he’s going to be like that annoying, overbearing Uncle who tries to be cool and annoys you but ya don’t hate him. Another thing I wanted to go over is their obsessions. I wanna say the halfas all have dual obsessions bc it fits nicely with the half-and-half concept. Danny is protection and space. Ellie is freedom and family. Vlad is power and love. If I include Dark Danny he’ll be power and destruction and a reformed version would have control and safety.

As for his rouge gallery? Danny is able to help them find healthier outlets for their obsessions so they've become less of an issue. Now they kind of just act like Danny's annoying friends and/or extended family. The ones who were straight-up evil though are on indefinite time out in ghost prison though (e.g. Spectra and Freakshow). The gang still comes to visit him and Ellie from time to time though and he regularly sees them when he goes back to the realms for prince duties and stuff.

What’s up with Amity?

So after he turns 18, Danny decides to tell his parents about being Phantom. He’s legally an adult now and has been working toward getting emancipated anyways so he might as well. They took it like how I imagine slightly homophobic parents would react to learning their child was lgbt (side note: the Fentons are pro-lgbt. When Danny told them he was bi Jack said “Me too son!”, happy to have something to bond over). He tells them about the portal and becoming Phantom. They believe him and they are devastated and guilty.

In the next few weeks, they get into a couple arguments over them wanting to “fix” his ghost half. He blows up and tells them that by doing that they’d end up killing him and that Phantom is a part of who he is and they’ll just have to accept that. That night Danny leaves and with help from Sam stays in an apartment with Jazz near her college. He takes a two-year gap to get a handle of Infinite Realms and GIW stuff, plus doing a few small jobs to save up some money. Within that time the GIW gets taken down and the Fentons reach out bc their love for their children is stronger than their dislike of ghosts. Their relationship is still strained but getting better.

Dani also gets de-aged during that time and Danny decides to take care of her (partly for healing purposes and partly cause he wants to). His friends help forge documentation for her and he fights with Vlad over custody but ultimately wins and makes him pay child support. He’s saved up enough money and with a little help from Sam and Vlad gets an apartment in Gotham. He got a scholarship and is doing mostly online classes at Gotham University. He’s currently working part-time (I have not decided as what but I’m leaning toward mechanic). Vlad paid to have him enroll Ellie in Gotham Academy so she wouldn’t have to go to public school and Danny allowed it since it’d get her a better education. Ellie is going to start first grade in about 3 months since they moved to Gotham in June. (Just for reference, Damian is currently 12 and in seventh grade since I've decided not to move him up.)

Everyone in Amity knows about the discord between the Fenton's before Danny leaves. They don't necessarily know about Phantom though. Everyone kind of assumes Danny came out, fought with his parents then left. When some of them find out about Ellie another rumor circulates she was the topic of the fight. Regardless, the Fenton drama is kinda an open secret and most people sympathize with Danny. Whenever he comes back to town to visit a lot of people are really nice to him and Ellie, which he thought was weird until he learned what people thought was going on. Now he just takes advantage of their misunderstandings.

What's up with the GIW?

The GIW manages to get a hold of Ellie after Danny leaves Amity. When Vlad and Danny +Team Phantom find out they team up to rescue her. Danny also recruits people that he's met during his time away. For this mission, he recruits Constantine and Captain Marvel/Shazam. When the Fentons find out they want in too, almost as an apology gesture. They no longer want to try and "fix" Danny and are okay with Ellie's existence. They view her like family and want to help out. A lot of their views are still prejudiced but they're getting better, however, that's not the only thing straining their relationship. This is a step in the right direction though.

So they go in and infiltrate first in order to get Ellie out. Then they destroy the facilities behind them as they leave. Constantine and Captain Marvel then go back to the JL to work on getting to Anti-Ecto Acts repealed, something that is still in progress during the beginning of this fic. That's why they are gonna lay low while they’re in Gotham. The GIW attempted to experiment on Ellie while they had her but the containment unit they used destabilized her ectoplasm. She retains all her memory but is mentally and physically de-aged. Frostbite assesses her and says she needs to get extra ecto and to be near another halfa aura to help develop and stabilize her own systems. That leads to Vlad and Danny fighting over custody before Danny inevitably beats Vlad into the ground and walks away with custody and child support.

I think a full reveal about identities will happen after Danny gets confirmation that his existence is no longer illegal. It'll probably be after Jason asks him out but before he accepts because he wants Jason to know what he's getting into. Jason will probably be shocked but accept it relatively quickly. I haven't decided yet if I want him to live a mortal life with them and then die (either to move on or become a full ghost) or if I want him to be basically immortal like them and give him a position in the court.

~~~~ Find chapter one here

Chapter 2 now here

[thiccpersonality]

Damian (Gremlin) Wayne...and his even more gremlin-esque family pt. 3

After twenty long minutes of fighting Richard, Jason and Tim have finally managed to take their seats (at Bruce's insistence). Richard and Jason glare at Tim harshly for managing to get the right side chair next to Bruce, the younger boy smiling victoriously and scooting his chair closer to the confused man.

Bruce: "What is going on with you boys?"

Tim gives a mean glare to Damian right quick before blinking innocently up at the older man: "Nothing suspicious...just the regular amount of fighting and attempted bloodshed is all."

Bruce hums slowly and squints suspiciously at Tim's overly bright smile but softens at the boy scooting his plate closer to him and eating happily. Well, he can't argue much if Tim is willingly eating on time.

Damian violently shoves a piece of his salmon in his mouth at how close Drake is getting to his father, his eyes narrowing at the devious smile the other gives him at Bruce patting his hand gently. At Bruce's gentle show of affection for another that is not biologically related to him causes Damian to tighten his grip on his fork, his left hand reaching out to tug Bruce's hand away from Tim and bring it to his stomach, sighing contentedly at the warmth in the palm resting on his belly.

Before Bruce can ask Damian why he did that, said boy looks up at Bruce curiously: "I heard from Pennyworth that you were planning for my academic endeavors-"

Jason stabs at his fish violently while side eyeing Damian: "Schooling, it's called schooling. Is it so fucking hard for you to speak like a normal child?"

Damian turns up his nose while his left eye twitches at being interrupted: "Listen, Todd. Just because I don't talk like an uneducated, unloved and brainless street urchin such as yourself. Don't be jealous."

Bruce gasps quietly at Damian's language-sometimes he forgets how violent his baby son could be-and softly squeezes at Damian's stomach in warning: "Damian Wayne, we don't speak to family that way, especially when it's not true or needed. And Jason, try being a little kinder and gentler with Damian...I don't care that he was trained under the best assassins, he's still just a baby."

Damian frowns and feels irritation rise at his father implying that he needs to be coddled, his said feelings quickly washing away at a large hand carding through his hair and Bruce kissing the top of his head gently.

Green eyes filled with malice towards Jason look up innocently at Bruce, Damian smiling and snuggling back into Bruce as the man continues to dote on him: "I guess I am a baby. YOUR baby. BIOLOGICAL. BLOOD son." Bruce sighs and just pats his youngest on the head, not noticing (or choosing to not pay attention to) his three eldest children in varying degrees and expressions of anger.

Jason locks his eyes onto Damian's and aggressively bites at the salmon, to which Damian just turns his nose up at the pitiable display. Green eyes turn to Tim next, eyebrow raising as the second youngest blankly stares at Damian while mouthing "don't fall to sleep", a weak attempt at frightening him if you ask Damian. And lastly is Richard who is holding that friendly smile on his face while eyeing Damian like a hawk, the man's smile growing when Damian finally looks at him.

It's at a phone ringing that Damian breaks eye contact with the eldest, lips turning into a frown at Bruce sighing and lifting him up, only to place him in his seat and telling everyone he'll be right back.

Well, as soon as Bruce leaves the chaos erupts. Damian turns his head back to face the rest of his new family, only to be greeted with Tim's face in his own.

Tim: "So first you pop up here unexpectedly like a pimple and now you want to hog Bruce to yourself? You are sitting in his seat...I don't think I've ever even sat in his seat."

Damian's smirk is haughty while responding: "Listen Drake, if your ass were to touch this seat, I would have to burn it to spare my father from the disease you surely must be carrying."

Jason and his constant willingness to tease Tim whenever he gets the chance just snorts: "Whaddya mean? Timbo here IS the whole disease short stuff."

Damian growls and throws his fork at Jason, the utensil landing above the teen's shoulder: "Don't ever call me by that name again! While we can agree that Tim is a disease I do not appreciate your ridiculous nicknames for people."

Richard finally interrupts with a sigh: "Everyone calm down. We don't want to ruin Bruce's night too much, if we are going to war about this, why not be civilized and play it cool so we don't alert or distress B?"

Jason flicks a piece of his salmon at the older: "Do I really have to be the one that has to tell you all the reasons playing civilized is stupid, Dickhead? One: it's a war, you know the thing that is filled with bloodshed and violence? And two: I am NOT playing nice with Timmy Neutron and the Oompa Loompa over there, I'd rather kill myself."

Tim crosses his arms and blows a piece of hair out from his face: "Then just get on with it already then. The sooner you kill yourself the less competition there is-"

Damian nods in agreement and gives a mean look to Jason: "Plus, I don't think anyone would care about your second death this time around."

Alfred sighs loudly and slams his palms against the table: "That is quite enough! If you boys are so convinced on having your little battle right now, then fine, but do not degrade each other with your traumas. That is a horribly low blow."

The four boys look at Alfred apologetically and quietly apologize, watching as the man stands and takes his plate to the kitchen.

It's as soon as the second real adult leaves the room that the boys glare at each other and start tossing their remaining food at one another. Spouting threats and curses while planning on how to one-up the other to gain more of Bruce's attention.

[luffyrose]

Dc x Dp Random Blurb #2

I know I just made the first but it's midnight, I can't sleep, and I'm thinking about random things.

Anyway. Siblings. And Pranks.

You know how people always kinda portray Dick as a little chaotic but mainly the one doing damage control for his brothers? Yeah, that's total bs when it comes to siblings.

My oldest sibling most literally tried to convince me to jump off the roof of a church on time. I WAS 8. They also cried when I went on a school trip for a week because they were worried I would get hurt or something.

So. Got me thinking. Dick is SEEN as the tame one by his siblings solely because he's too tired tm to do anything and no one seems to remember him being an absolute gremlin so he's not gonna just out himself when he could cause mayhem later.

Only Cass is vaguely aware of how chaotic Dick can be and that's only because she walked in on him pouring a literal ton of sleeping meds into various things Tim eats while giggling maniacally to himself. Of course, she's not gonna rat him out though, he gives the best hugs.

Either way, no one is aware or remembers how much of a gremlin Dick can truly be, especially being the eldest sibling of many.

In comes Danny. For whatever reason.

Danny LOOKS just like Jason and that tripped everyone up. But when he settles into living with them, they discover that this 'Jason 2.0' is in fact a mini Dick Grayson running around causing absolute chaos.

Dick is delighted by this news and get out of here depression, he must show his newest sibling how to hand from a chandelier long enough to drop a bucket of the most rancid things imaginable onto the first person, minus Alfred, to walk under it.

Upon the gremlin duo having free, acrobatic range, of the house, Bruce is reminded why he questioned adopting his oldest son when he was still younger. That plus the chaos he did with the other heroes in training at the time.

It's one prank too many that Bruce, at dinner, stares dead ahead and just sighs.

"Not again Dick, not again."

Because I think we can all guess who a moody teen who runs around beating up bad guys at night would prank the most if said baby hero had been grounded. Danny's own abilities just seem to make it much easier for the now SUPPOSEDLY adult hero to do the same pranks to his very unsuspecting family.

[the-coffee-fandom]

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[massivetittiesandwarcrimes]

You know, I've read several fics where Jason-who-likes-Tim gets sent through time and/or dimensions to the attack on Titan's Tower and ends up saving Tim for Jason-with-pit-rage... But they've always been from the point of view of the time / dimension traveling Jason, which I think really misses out on a lot of comedic potential.

Just... picture Red Hood, about to inflict an (un)righteous beat down on The Replacement, getting bodied out of nowhere, and when he gets his bearings back and faces this new unexpected opponent... it's himself? The pure confusion and incredulity of another/older version of himself protecting Tim.

Pit!Jason: What the fuck?! He's a little shit and I'm going to teach him a lesson for replacing me/us!

Big Brother!Jason: Yeah, he is a little shit and a chaos gremlin (Tim: Rude.), but he's also my little brother. So you better back the fuck off or I'm gonna have to make you.

Pit!Jason just so confused and annoyed because he had plans! Good plans! (Big Brother!Jason: No they fucking weren't. In hindsight, they were dumb as fuck and I'm gonna blame that on the head trauma and pit trauma!) And now he's got another version of himself kicking his ass. I just think it would be very funny.

[caffeine-high]

i just, Tim, i want him to suffer, i want him to go through the most heartbreaking scenarios and deal with them entirely unhealthily over and over again, and then i want his friends and family to help anyway causing tim to slowly heal via a long and extended process

but Bart, he is my darling little boy, he is a baby, a chaos gremlin, he deserves only the best, i want to give him a blanket and a kiss, and i want him to be happy and vibing, i want him to

[ameliagiovanna0]

Thoughts on The Rookie 6x02

This might include some repeats of things I've already said/posted, but I wanted to include it here just to get all of my thoughts in one place lol

Daddy Cop 😂😂😂😂😂😂

For a hot second, I thought it was the wrong episode

The choir showed up and then the guitarist. PURE GOLD I LOVE IT SO MUUUCCCHHH

Nolan was so pissed 🤣

Henry called Bailey. Too cute

Nolan literally had a jump scare seeing Randy 😂 He's so unhinged and I love it every time

Luna is always wonderful. She's close to everyone under her husband's command too

Tim shutting his office door with Lucy standing outside was so despondent :(

Yes, the angst is there, but so is the humor, and that, overall, out-weighed the angst. The humor on this show is always top tier. I'm always here for it

The scene between Lucy, Tim, and Angela is one of my favorites, tbh. Angela is such a chaos gremlin and I love her for it. And more Chenford arguing. It's not light hearted like it usually is, but I like to see the different sides to their relationship.

Angela: Let what go? Tim and Lucy: Nothing.

... Tim: Fine. Whatever. Lucy: Great. Angela: Maybe I'll go too. Grab some popcorn on the way for the show Tim: You're not funny Angela: I'm hysterical. Ask Wesley THIS IS WHY I LOVE HER

Gotta admit, Nolan and Bailey both trying to keep each other from finding out things to keep the other calm is pretty cute.

This DJ is so unhinged lol. Bailey shooed Nolan out being like "please don't arrest this guy and make our wedding even more difficult than it already is." First the switchblade, then a robbery, and the molly was the last straw 😂 Bailey's face said it all

Lucy being like, "ok, go ahead" and Tim saying "ladies first" I just-- 😂😂 They're so perfect for each other

Reason #95238 that Lucy Chen is amazing: "I have to look amazing in a dress tomorrow. Nobody care what you look like. He's huge. I'm not fighting him." Tim fighting this giant ass dude simply because his girlfriend asked him to will never not be hilarious and pretty adorable to me. And the fact that the only reason she didn't want to fight him was because she wanted to look good in her dress will never not be badass to me

The Hammer just THREW Tim into those cabinets, across a table, into a TV, over the back of a couch, and against a bed not once but twice. Tim HELD HIS OWN. I know it shouldn't have been, but it was really hot. Poor baby crawled to the coffee table for the ring. THEN, proceeded to hand it to his girlfriend while on one knee and bleeding. LUCY AND I ARE BOTH ABSOLUTELY FINE I PROMISE. He didn't realize it at first, but he definitely did once Lucy stood there stuttering at him. He tried to hand it to her and she just sort of froze. Her brain short circuited and he panicked, and it was all perfect. She still managed to compliment him on the fight though 😂

Lucy: Good job Tim: Yeah, thanks Lucy: You ok? Tim: Yeah, I'm great. *falls over*

It's too funny 😂😂

Angela and Nyla are bestie goals 😁🥰

I love the cuts between the bachelor and bachelorette parties 

Celina bringing up Lucy's future bachelorette party because she knows that she and Tim are a forever kind of thing 😩

Lucy scooted so far into Tim, oh my God. Bestie was practically in his lap

Lucy: I knew it! You just kill them?! Tim: Yes! Because they're bugs.

 I can't, they exasperated way Tim said 'yes!" was just hilarious to me

The little breath that Tim lets out before he says yes to loving Lucy was like, "Do you really even have to ask? Yes, of course I love you. There's no other option."

Tim and Lucy spotting each other across the courtyard and then again across the dance floor. They're always going to find each other whether it's buried alive in the desert or at a friend's wedding, which seems to be their thing now 😩

Aw Luna finishing her degree. I seriously love her and I love her and Grey together. He's so supportive of her, it's just so clear that they're a strong, loving unit

"Sit down, German" had me wheezing. Grey's delivery is everything 😂😂😂

Bailey's entrance was pretty adorable, ngl

A lot of people were saying how Bailey's vows were really beautiful and how it was so great seeing her say those things and mean it after she had been in an abusive marriage, and I couldn't agree more. She was right, what she said was simple, but it covered everything it needed to. And I think it was really beautiful in its simplicity. Nolan's vows were really great too. He's not normally great with words, but it was really sweet, and it's really obvious how much does cherish Bailey. 

Ah and Henry made it!! I miss seeing him. I do wish we got to see Abigail too though. I LOVED her. Plus, their relationship is adorable. 

The dance floor scene with everybody was so cute, omg!! I loved it. Everybody looked so happy and like they were having so much fun. Jenna even said it felt like a real wedding

Aaron and Celina watching Lucy look at Tim across the dance floor was amazing. They're so invested in their relationship, and I think it's hilarious. Chenford had groupies on screen too 🤭😂

I felt so bad for Aaron. He's not handling everything very well, and I do think he was kinda hyper-focusing on Celina a little. It's natural after a shared trauma like that. But he tried to kiss her and she shut him down. It was sad. I was really trying not to like them as a couple, but I kinda do now. IDK

Chenford rampage incoming:

It seems like they arrived separately, but they still sat together at the ceremony and honestly looked like they were enjoying themselves. So to me, that's just an other testament of how solid they are even if though they're fighting

Tim couldn't take it anymore and went pulled Lucy onto the dance floor. He knows they have more talking to do, but he wanted to be close to her. And her pulled her out to If I Ain't Got You of all songs. ARE YOU JOKING????? *squeaks* The way he looked at her when he walked over to her and the way Luna looked at Lucy AHHHHHH. Nope, Imma need a minute

Lucy dragged her hand down Tim's chest and looked him up and down and Tim leaning into her, looking at her lips like LET ME BREATHE

Lucy running her hand through his hair

AND NO ONE CAN TELL ME THIS WAS JUST A COINCIDENCE 

Lucy did not say, "We're gonna get through this. I love you." with this playing in the background just for the hell of it 

Some people want it all

But I don't want nothing at all 

If I ain't got you, baby

Some people want diamond rings

Some just want everything

But everything means nothing

If I ain't got you, yeah

IT WAS DELIBERATE BESTIES 

More thoughts on their fight. Highly recommend checking out the points @sylvies-chen, @morganupstead, and @sisterofficerlucychen made. Of course, my thoughts are also in there

When Lucy said that she loved Tim, in true Chenford fashion, and despite the serious moment, Tim couldn't help but argue (affectionate) with her saying he wasn't sure until he hooked her up to a lie detector. Lucy smacking him. Ugh I just love their banter so much

Aaron came up behind them and Tim was so caught off guard. His facial expressions were very on point for annoyed!Tim. Plus, Aaron was right. Chenford is solid. I'm not worried about them. Is there going to be angst in the future? Yes. Is it going to break them? Not a chance. Their relationship is strong. It's built on friendship and mutual respect. Tim has always respected Lucy, even as a rookie. Yeah, she annoyed him, but she had the guts to stand up to him in ways that no other rookie did, or would have survived doing

EXSQUEEZE ME where you y'all coming from that you came up the stairs together??

end of chenford ramage 

James offering to get everyone's go-bags and Wesley automatically jumping into help. They're helping their women and being good friends. I love it

"Sit you ass down and do some praying" This is why I love Tim 😂

Randy and Chastity being the responsible ones for once keeping Aaron occupied

Super random, but why does Nolan have police lights in his personal truck, but Tim doesn't? You'd think a Metro Liaison Sergeant having them would be more likely than a random training officer 

Celina, my love, this is why you bring backup when you go to meet CIs

Tim in a dress shirt and tie with rolled up sleeves. Dear God   🥵🥵

I was not expecting Nolan to just throw the guy out the window. He's the most laid back out of all of him, and he didn't even hesitate, just pushed him out of at least a second story window. I-- 🤨😂

Poor Bailey flopped on the bed just still in her wedding dress 😂

[spacedace]

@proshipper-on-ship​ thank you for the Dick & Dan idea you added to my other post, please enjoy some of the fall out your comment resulted in haha

“So,” Bruce tried, looking hesitantly pleased at the surprisingly light atmosphere around the table. “Anything new and exciting going on with anyone?”

There was a smattering of answers from around the table. Jason didn’t offer anything - which wasn’t surprising, that he was even there and largely not starting a fight was more than enough as far as Dick was concerned - but with some ribbing from Steph, Tim eventually admitted to finally asking that boy he’d been interested in out. Dick joined in on teasing his little brother - and even Jay gave, for him, some gentle ribbing over finally getting the balls to do something, eh Timberland? - while very carefully avoiding mentioning his own sorta-kinda thing with Dan in Bludhaven. He’d deal with his siblings making him miserable and embarrassed over it all when he actually scored a date with him thanks very much.

Things were going good.

And then Damian cleared his throat, looking imperious and uninterested at the same time as he waited for everyone to turn to look at him.

“I have an announcement on an alteration to my personal life.” He declared, chin up and looking like he was already over this whole family-bonding-time thing, which was fair. Damian had gotten better over the years, but he was still not exactly the cute and cuddly little brother. Dick still had the scar from the last time he tried to hug Dami without warning a year ago and got stabbed for the effort. Still, he was sharing, willingly even! That’s progress!

At the head of the table Bruce tilted his head, looking as cautiously hopeful as Dick felt over the youngest Wayne actually offering to share something personal. “Have you decided on what college you want to go to then?”

“No.” Dami dismissed easily, without more than a glance in Bruce’s direction. “Night and I have decided to take some time to travel before continuing any further schooling.”

Huh, honestly, Dick was kinda surprised. With how much of a perfectionist Dami was, he’d thought he’d throw himself into college with the same ferocious, competitive drive he did everything else. But then again, if Elle Nightingale was going to be taking a gap year or two, it wasn’t as if it was that much of a surprise that Dami would go and join her.

The two gremlins had been practically inseparable since they were twelve and discovered a shared love of stabbing people and adopting every animal they see. If Dami’s best friend was going to go gallivanting across the world like she always dreamed of doing, Dick couldn’t actually be that  surprised that Dami would be going with her.

Dick took a sip of his drink as Dami opened his mouth to continue with what was probably going to be to most people the world’s most harrowing game of “how many incredibly dangerous animals can we see before we end up dead on our gap year” that the two demons were undoubtedly planning.

He regretted taking that sip almost immediately as Damian said, “Night and I took our marital vows yesterday. She sends her regrets that she was unable to join us for family dinner tonight.”

Predictably, the room broke out into utter chaos.

Dick choked on his drink, spraying across the table and splattering Babs with a shower of wine. She didn’t even seem to notice, dropping her own glass as she snapped her head over to stare at Damian, the sound of breaking glass and a deep red stain pooling across the table following as she did. At the end of the table, Jay made a noise like a dying goose as the samosa he’d just popped in his mouth threatened to kill him. Cass, perhaps the most outwardly calm at the proclamation, only stared with wide eyes at her younger brother as she hit Jason on the back in an attempt to make sure he didn’t die.

Dick could practically hear the old shrieking AOL dial up noise that was Tim’s brain attempting to process what his little brother had just said, while sitting next to him Steph gave a small shriek of you what? Duke’s head was on a swivel, eyes darting from Damian, to another family member, to Damian and back again as if unsure who to even look at in the moment.

Bruce just…stared, frozen in place, face caught in the most open look of shock Dick thinks the man has ever shown in his life.

---

Damian sniffed and cast a caustic look towards - of all people - Jason, “Unlike some people, I share my good news with the family in a timely manner.”

Jay sputtered, “You know what, fuck you! Fine, you want me to share the news?” Jay snapped his head towards the rest of them. “Jazz is pregnant, baby is due next month on the sixth. Baby shower’s next weekend at Robinson Park, show up or don’t, I really don’t give a fuck.”

Or maybe he was just going to try to kill them with a heart attack.

“What the fuck?!”

“Language!”

“Who the fuck is Jazz?!”

“Language!”

“Night’s elder sister and guardian, Drake, keep up. You should know this, you’re dating her brother.”

“I’m what?”

“And Grayson is having flirtations with her other brother.”

“Dan is Elle’s older brother? Wait - how do you know about that?”

“Todd and I are in the Nightingale family group chat. We have endured far too much waxing poet about your posterior over the past months.”

“Why do they all have variations of the same name? Who gives all their children the same name?”

“He likes my ass?”

“Oh my god, bigger picture Dick, focus.”

“Seriously, do they all have the same name outside of the older sister? I feel like we need to acknowledge they all have the same name.”

“Can we go back to the fact that Damian got married? To Elle? Yesterday? How did you even do that without anyone knowing?

“Dr. Nightingale is a notary.”

“...Dr. Nightingale as in the woman Bruce is investigating Dr. Nightingale?”

“Okay but the name thing? Please tell me you’re not naming the baby some variation of the name Daniel.”

“If the gremlins get their way it will be. Do you know how many lists we’ve made that they keep sabotaging?”

“So you have Dan’s number? Could you give it to me?”

“Jesus Christ, Dick I’m begging you.”

“Why did you guys even get married?”

“For the diplomatic immunity.”

“You don’t have diplomatic immunity.”

“I do now.”

“What does that mean?”

[disillusioneddanny]

Since you asked me, I thought I ought to ask you! #15. Kon and Tim. >:3

Oooh okay #15

It’s funny that you picked them considering I just posted my newest Tim/kon/Danny fic today 😂😂

Honestly yes! I’d love to be friends with both of them. I feel like their dynamic is so much fun and as a chaos gremlin myself I would have a great time hanging out with them. This is also lowkey embarrassing but as a former Emo kid myself, I feel like I’d get along great with Kon and his little punk self and I’ve always hc’d Tim as a little punk as well so we’d definitely get along

[ijustthinkhesneat]

I’m gonna share my DC character headcanons because I want to and no one can stop me! (I wish I had cool art skills to ad visuals to this but I am artistically challenged 😔)

Bruce Wayne:

Birthday: October 10th, 1991 (Spooky szn, also I decided he’s not old)

Sexuality: Bisexual he’s in love with Clark 😊

Favorite Animal: Bats because I’m basic

Has Autism

Height: 6’0

Favorite Food: Lasagna, it is inexplicably the only thing he can cook.

Gender Identity: Demiboy, He/They Pronouns

Now the juicy backstory…

-In my demented brain Bruce didn’t actually have a happy childhood before his parents death and that Thomas was kind of a traditional toxic masculinity man. I think Martha tried her best but couldn’t fully protect Bruce. Alfred was a friend of Martha that moved in after their deaths to take care of Bruce and instilled a lot more positive values in him.

-Is canon, absolutely not, but it’s my brain I can do what I want. I feel like this also helps explain Bruce’s struggles with being a emotionally vulnerable with his kids and the why he makes shitty choices sometimes.

-I also believe he wants to be better and genuinely tries really hard to be a good dad. Very much that trope of ‘I want you to have a better life than I did’.

-Post Alfred moving in with Bruce his development into Batman plays out pretty much the same, but he he does start to realize he is not the straight.

-After adopting Dick he finds out that his son is definitely not straight (caught holding Wally wests hand in a not god honoring way) and has a lot of internal turmoil, he wants to support his son, but has to wrestle with his own internalized homophobia. (Thanks Tom). Lots of angst it’ll be great.

-This contributes to Dick leaving and Bruce finally confronts his issues, enter Jason.

-Jason dies and Bruce goes all the way off the deep end, almost kills the joker. I actually like the idea that Dick stops him and then returns secretly to finish the Joker off, cause he thinks Bruce wouldn’t be able to recover.

-Tim gets adopted a little earlier because jack and Janet throw him out for being trans. Trans baby Tim is the best. This helps Bruce come to terms with his own identity again.

-Steph becomes robin because slay queen mama waffle boots the house spoiler

-Jason returns and has his under the red hood arc minus Bruce basically slitting his throat with a batarang cause I hate that and it makes no sense.

-Cass is adopted and becomes the silent chaos queen we deserve. I like many people headcanon her as being selectively mute, Bruce learns sign language faster than anyone else.

-Damian shows up around the age of 5 because again time is like dick Grayson, bendable as all hell. Bruce loves his babies but extra babies Damian because he loves him and sees a lot of himself in Damian and doesn’t want him to be like him.

-Bruce reachs out to Jason because he missed his son to much and he comes back and omg it’s just the best thing to ever happen pls DC let these boys be SOFT.

-Bruce adopts Duke because another vigilante child isn’t gonna make a difference now but little does he know that his fifth son is perhaps the most chaos gremlin of all. He is flashlight and he will step on the Jokers throat for fun, because not only did the joker jokerize his bio parents but he fucked with his brothers and his dad to much so he’s gonna toaster that man’s tub.

That’s my Bruce headcanon and time line the others won’t be this long but this is for me so I don’t care what anyone thinks teehee.