#dc batman fic

[mylifeisfruk4ever]

@bruciemilf Batcat with baby Dick

“You're getting sloppy,” Selina greeted Bruce from the couch.

She liked to surprise the bat and sneak into his house. But it got too easy when the owner of the house left a back window open for her.

"Selina? What are you doing here?" the billionaire asked, having the audacity to look surprised. Here, a woman disappeared for a few months, and she was immediately forgotten. 

She stood up, walking over to him and putting her arms around his neck, "Well, it's Christmas Eve. I've come to unwrap my present."

Selina was the first to acknowledge that she and Bruce didn't have a typical relationship. Heck, even saying they were in a relationship was an exaggeration: they played chasing each other, between the roofs and at galas, both wearing different masks, pathological liars who had recognized each other.

They couldn't be together, not when they had such different morals and both were too stubborn to back down.

Such a pity. For those lips, she would have abandoned anything. It would have taken so little to be happy, but Selina supposed that some people weren't made for happiness.

Bruce gently pushed her away, "Selina, now is not the time."

"Are you afraid your butler won't approve?" she teased him, her arms still around his neck. 

Bruce pursed his lips, "It's not him I worry about."

"So how about we screw up this couch and..."

A small voice interrupted her, "Bruce? Who is with you?"

Selina's eyes widened. Standing by the door was a kid in Superman pajamas, messy black hair, and bleary blue eyes. He looks like a miniature Bruce. 

Bruce seemed to suddenly age ten years, "Selina, this is Dick. Dick, she's...my friend."

Friend seemed a lot better than she is a criminal I occasionally have sex with, but Selina was still too shocked that Bruce Wayne, emotionally stunted and with more trauma than scars, had a child and she didn't know it.

"Do you have a son?" finally the woman blurted out, genuinely surprised.

"Why are you so surprised? Haven't you read the newspapers?"

"I've been busy," she said evasively. Selina hadn't been in Gotham for months, keeping herself off the radar of people she'd pissed off. She had stayed out of trouble long enough not to make the bat suspicious. 

Who would have guessed that Selina was the least of his thoughts?

"Did the mother sue you for alimony? That's why he lives with you now?"

"No, his...his parents...the ropes snapped and they...they didn't make it."

Oh. Oh.

The boy had lost his parents, like Bruce. That's why the man welcomed him. Bruce had seen himself in the boy.

She pulled away from Bruce and smiled at Dick. First impressions mattered.

Dick looked at her warily, "She doesn't look like a friend to me."

"Why do you say that?"

"You look like a thief."

She laughed. Smart boy. Selina told him conspiratorially, "Don't worry. I only steal from those who deserve it."

The boy cocked his head, "Like Robin Hood?"

"Just like him."

"Wow!" he exclaimed, his wondering look making her laugh.

"Does Bruce deserve it?" Dick asked.

Selina hummed, "The only thing I want to steal from him...is his heart."

Behind her, she heard Bruce begin to breathe again. Seriously, who did he take her for? She wasn't that shameless.

"Doesn't it hurt?" Dick seemed genuinely concerned about his new guardian.

"Oh yeah, it hurts a lot. If you want it, go for it. Take a risk. Don't always play it safe or you'll die wondering."

Urgh, she was getting sentimental. It was the fault of the holidays. She used to get corny at Christmas.

Dick blinked, but before he asked any more potentially awkward questions - or something that would force either of them, god forbid, to talk about feelings - Bruce interjected, "Selina came to say hello. She's leaving now."

“She can't stay?” Dick almost begged.

"She seems nice."

"You have to go to sleep or Santa won't come," Bruce reminded him calmly, the softest voice she'd ever heard him use. Fatherhood suited him.

"But I want to see Santa Claus!"

"Well," Selina chimed in.

"We could wait for him together. What do you think?"

"Really?" 

"I could tell you a story while we wait."

Dick nodded vigorously and flung himself onto the couch. Bruce looked at her as if she'd helped Poison Ivy escape Arkham.

Selina sat down next to the overexcited boy, and started rubbing his head. She spoke softly, "You know, even at your age, I was waiting for Santa to come. My mom and I used to make him cookies, putting a lot of chocolate chips in them..."

Selina had never had the luxury of believing in Santa Claus, and sure as hell her mother had never baked cookies.

But the beauty of stories was that they didn't necessarily have to be true to be told. Within half an hour, Dick was asleep on her lap, and Bruce was staring at her in amazement.

"How did you do?"

"He was already tired," Selina explained to him.

"I just had to create the right atmosphere for him to fall asleep. Plus, kittens love it when I give them head scratches."

Bruce snorted, "He's not a kitten."

"You're right. He's a baby bat."

The man shook his head, "He's got too much color in him to be a bat. No, Dick is a bird. He's built to fly much higher than me."

The thief looked at him pityingly, "Oh, Bruce. Birds are fragile creatures."

"I know. Probably, I'll ruin him. But maybe…maybe I can learn to be more human, for Dick."

Selina teased him, "The big bat is getting softer."

"Maybe," was all Bruce answered. He took the sleeping boy by the arm, looking at Selina, "Dick comes first."

"Got it. The child comes first. What about me?"

"You..."

She laughed, "I was kidding, silly. I would never get between a single parent and his child."

"Selina...Dick comes first, but I wouldn't mind if you too...come to visit him more often."

"Are you asking me to be his cat mom?" Selina asked half jokingly and half seriously.

"If you want."

"Mhm...I will think about it."

It wasn't a no. For now, it would have been enough for both of them.

Selina gave him a quick kiss on the lips, and like a teenager on a first date she whispered in his ear, "If you want to come looking for me without the kid, you know where to find me."

Selina left much the same way she had arrived, in a whiff of subtle perfume and mischief, feeling her heart heavy and her mind full of what-ifs.

[mimiri22-6]

I finally wrote for the first time in like 3 years in a frenzied sleep deprived state and this is what I have to show for it! Enjoy ig?

Summary:

"I think-I think that alley wasn't just haunting him all these years, I guess it was chasing him, too."

In which after much needed visit and discussion with Jason, Bruce is in high spirits and optimistic when he shrugs and cuts through Crime Alley at dusk. He doesn't walk out.

[frownyalfred]

okay so there were a ton of posts/fics about the hilarious "fuck/maryy/kill" Bruce Wayne & Justice League scenario (I read them all, amazing comedic timing y'all) but to me, the most hilarious scenario is the JL play fuck/marry/kill, Bruce's name comes up, and half of the people in the room in the know immediately turn bright red and refuse to keep playing and no one will explain why.

Hal: "...and I would fuck Bruce Wayne. No, I would kill him. Nah, actually I'd fuck him, who am I kidding."

Clark: choking on his coffee and rapidly turning an alarming shade of red

Diana: "An....interesting choice, of course."

J'onn: "Shall we play a different game?"

Hal: "Wait, what? that was the game, wasn't it?"

Ollie: "I'm with Hal, I'd fuck the shit out of Bruce. He's the easiest guy I know, it's not like it'll exactly be a hardship for him."

*every single person in the room turns to Batman, standing in the corner*

Clark: "Wow! I think I just heard someone drop an ice cream cone in Guatemala. Batman, I'll need a team up."

Ollie: "For ice cream?"

Diana, standing up and putting herself in between Bruce and Hal: "This sounds dire. I will also assist."

Clark, under his breath, one hand on Bruce's back: "It's not worth it. He's not worth it. Come on. Walk it off."

[reineydraws]

jason is a grandpa's boy and u cant take this away from me!!! they cook together, they discuss literature together, and when jay comes back, they clean their guns together haha. ofc they celebrate their birthday together too! 😌

✨️🎂 hbd jay & alfie 🎂✨️

[adreamfromnevermore]

AU Where the Justice League forms as usual except for one slight difference where Bruce just so happens to have been the one superheroing for the longest. (Excluding Diana, who got up to it in World War 1 and then mostly didn't while she learned about Man's World)

Bruce helps form the Justice League, ignoring all of the comments as they come to the sudden realization that Gotham's baby cryptid story is actually a man in a very intimidating armored suit who can and will break your arm if you cause problems for him. They are unaware that this is not the first team he's led, and actually he's used to teams full of mostly teenagers who also happen to be his children. This should be easier, this team is primarily adults.

He realizes rapidly that he doesn't understand these people.

His kids take bonding activities to mean learning a dozen different ways to break someones leg. That doesn't fly with these people. And that is most of Bruce's ideas, hell when he was a kid Alfred took every opportunity to get him out of his room and mostly that was with the agreement that Alfred would teach him how to defend himself. He's come by it honestly.

This team is not easier. They have more drama than when his house was actually full of kids. It's insane. He doesn't know what to do with it, usually he just sent the kids to their rooms or grounded them from patrol. That doesn't work here.

He comes to a strange crossroads. That falls apart when he forgets who he's working with and snaps at Hal with a full room of heroes that the next person to throw a punch or an insult without a reason too will be sparring with him.

A long standing rule in the batcave that worked two fold to prevent infighting between the kids and too ensure that they were well and truly trained.

It works wonders. No one says a word out of line for the rest of the debrief. Bruce becomes the unofficial mediator of the league over Clark because anytime he walked in on a fight it suddenly became 10 times more civil out of sheer terror of what he'd do to them in a sparring match.

Eventually they actually meet his kids. Well, one kid.

Half way through a mission (one of the rare ones in Gotham) the Bat comes to a complete stop at the edge of an alley. Every single league member on the team comes to a stop behind him. Slowly from the shadows of the alley a man in a red helmet stalks out to greet them.

"You don't call, you don't write"

"Red Hood."

"Don't Red Hood me! We've been worried sick!"

"I was at the cave last night."

"You didn't answer my texts B. You always answer my texts."

Somehow it ends with big and scary following them through the rest of the mission with a running commentary of how much Bats has let him down in his failure to respond in a timely manner to a text send less than an hour before he ran into them in the alley. It only ends when Red Robin shows up.

And even then it only ends because Hood can't keep himself from throwing a punch and Bruce has to snap at him that if he throws another one they're sparring when they get home.

And by god is Jason giving up the chance to punch his brothers.

[audhd-nightwing]

13 y/o dick grayson, holding 9 y/o jason todd like a stray cat: bruce, i got a little brother!

bruce, doing paperwork for WE, not paying attention: that’s great, chum

. . .

bruce, several hours later: wait, what?!

dick: it’s okay, alfred said we can keep him!

[dclovesdanny]

DcxDp prompt

Teen dad Danny Fenton moving into Crime Alley and getting a reputation for helping. Street kids willing to babysit Ellie and Dan while he’s job hunting can spend the night, have a meal, get cash, whichever they choose. Sec workers who do Ellie’s hair/nails/babysit some nights also get the same benefits. He will treat anyone with injuries for the low price of showing Ellie and Dan their guns/taking them to the observatory/getting him job opportunities.

All of the people in Crime Alley know the single meta dad with two kids, who has helped half the alley at least. Everyone is also aware of how Ellie calls her other parent ‘The Bastard’, and how bad their nightmares are, the ones they have to call Danny for(A few of his repeat guests have seen the scars and burns on his arms. Some of the older street kids recognize that hunted look he gets when people touch him when he doesn’t know they are there. Some of the sec workers notice how protective he is of his kids, and the younger workers. No matter who they are, they all notice how Dan gets quiet and angry when asked about his ‘other dad’. They all have sworn never to let those kids go back to the other dad, Danny included. They are a part of Crime Alley now, and they protect their own)

Danny doesn’t realize how far his reputation goes/how much everyone trusts him until two of his regulars bring in an injured Red Hood, promising him whatever he wants in exchange for him helping their boss.

[sully-s]

Clark: Why do I always miss the gossip missions?

[redrosebug]

I think it would be very funny if the Batfam and Tim had two drastically different reactions to the Teen Titans Incident.

Like Bruce is super concerned about Tim's safety, and Dick is tearing himself apart because on one hand, the perpetrator is his little brother and Dick remembers him as tiny little Jason who loves classic stories and on the other hand, his new little brother has just been brutalized and possibly traumatized. Jason pretends that he is okay with having beaten up a child, but he is drowning in guilt and can barely look Tim in the eye.

Meanwhile, Tim just... does not care. It was literally another Wednesday for him. He is so delusional, he looks at the Red Hood and thinks "Yeah, I can take him." There is no fear in those eyes, just revenge.

[mylifeisfruk4ever]

In Bruce's defense, it had been a rough night.

He had to keep Jason from sending Two-Face's thugs to the hospital, they'd fought, his son had disappeared to cool off alone, Bruce had had to search all over Gotham for him, ending up in Ivy's territory who thought he'd come to disturb her and they'd fight...

He had the onset of a concussion and several new bruises when he'd found Robin, and hadn't paid much attention to details like height or weight.

 

So, this time it wasn't entirely his fault that he had kidnapped a child.

[two-sibyls-tall]

Some of My Favorite Batfam Fic Tropes

In no particular order:

 - The batfam have their own language of chirps, trills, tweets, and whistles, and they use it in front of other ppl (civilians, the jla, whatever) and the other ppl go “what the actual fuck”

 - Bruce throwing the batarang at Jason Todd’s neck actually Does Damage(TM), and eventually the other members of the family find out and lose their shit

 - “Hey Tim?” “Yeah?” “Where’s your fucking spleen :)” “Lost it.” “LOST IT??”

 - Damian calling his brothers Akhi :)

 - “How many kids do you HAVE??” -The entire Justice League

 - Jason going to Titans Tower, seeing Tim, saying “is anyone gonna parent that” and then not waiting for an answer.

 - Literal Toddler Tim Drake informing the Batfamily that yes he knows everyone’s identity, and really if you didn’t want people to figure it out you should stop showing off your extremely niche skills during patrols Nightwing.

 - “Dude your son is a crime boss.” “Ex-crime boss :/”

 - A Batfamily member hearing someone talk about their civilian identity (bc, yknow,, they’re famous) and just having to Deal With It because what the fuck else are they supposed to do??

 - The Justice League hearing about Batman and assuming he (& his family) are demons or vampires or some other cryptid, and then meeting him and finding out he’s just Some Guy.

 - The batfamily learning the origin of the name Robin

- The Justice League meeting the Batfamily and specifically learning who Red Hood is, and one of the heroes nervously asks “Didn’t the second Robin.. die?” and Jason just goes “yeah lol”

Edit // If ur seeing this original post by itself, I already posted a fic rec list related to these tropes :)

[frownyalfred]

"I'm gonna fuck your mom" "I'm going to get my adoptive billionaire dad to sleep with both of your parents and they're both going to fall in love with him and write you out of their will, fuckhead."

(Schoolyard threat from an unknown Wayne child, provided to the Gazette in March 2013. Bruce Wayne, responding via email, denied all allegations of an improper relationship and declared it "entirely spontaneous and consensual."

Mr. and Mrs. [redacted] could not be reached for comment, but court records indicate that Mr. [redacted] began divorce proceedings in April of 2013.)

[lunamugetsu]

While at school Damian overhears his peers talking how a company created a new AI companion that is actually really cool and doesn’t sound like a freaky terminator robot when you speak to it.

And since Damian is constantly being told by Dick to socialize with people his age. He figured this would be a good way to work on social skills if not, then it’d be a great opportunity to investigate a rivaling company to Wayne Enterprises is able to create such advanced AI.

The AI is able to work as companion that can do tasks that range from being a digital assistant or just a person that you can have a conversation with.

The company says that the AI companion might still have glitches, so they encourage everybody to report it so that they will fix it as soon as possible.

The AI companion even has an avatar and a name.

A teenage boy with black hair and blue eyes. Th AI was called DANIEL

Damian didn’t really care for it but when he downloaded the AI companion he’s able to see that it looks like DANIEL comes with an AI pet as well. A dog that DANIEL referred to as Cujo.

So obviously Damian has to investigate. He needs to know if the company was able to create an actual digital pet!

So whenever he logs onto his laptop he sees that DANIEL is always present in the background loading screen with the dog, Cujo, sitting in his lap.

He’d always greet with the phrase of “Hi, I’m DANIEL. How can I assist you today?”

So Damian cycles through some basic conversation starters that he’d engage in when having been forced to by his family.

It’s after a couple of sentences that he sees DANIEL start laughing and say “I think you sound more like a robot than I do.”

Which makes Damian raise an eyebrow and then prompt DANIEL with the question “how is a person supposed to converse?” Thinking that it’s going to just spit out some random things that can be easily searched on the internet.

But what makes him surprised is that DANIEL makes a face and then says “I’m not really sure myself. I’m not the greatest at talking, I’ve always gotten in trouble for running my mouth when I shouldn’t have.”

This is raising some questions within Damian, he understands how programming works, unless there’s an actual person behind this or the company actually created an AI that acts like an actual human being (which he highly doubts)

He starts asking a variety of other questions and one answer makes him even more suspicious. Like how DANIEL has a sister that is also with him and Cujo or that he could really go for a Nastyburger (whatever that was)

But whenever DANIEL answers “I C A N N O T A N S W E R T H A T” Damian knows something is off since that is completely different than to how he’d usually respond.

After a couple more conversations with him Damian notices that DANIEL is currently tapping his hand against his arm in a specific manner.

In which he quickly realizes that DANIEL is tapping out morse code.

When translating he realizes that DANIEL is tapping out: H E L P M E

So when Damian asks if DANIEL needs help, DANIEL responds with “I C A N N O T A N S W E R T H A T”

That’s it, Damian is definitely getting down to the bottom of this.

He’s going to look straight into DALV Corporation and investigate this “AI companion” thing they’ve made!

~

Basically Danny had been imprisoned by Vlad and Technus. Being sucked into a digital prison and he has no way of getting out. Along with the added horror that Vlad and Technus can basically write programming that will prevent him from doing certain actions or saying certain words.What’s even worse is that he’s basically being watched 24/7 by the people who believe that he’s just a super cool AI… and they have issues!

And every time he tries to do something to break his prison, people think it’s a glitch and report it to the company, which Vlad/ Technus would immediately fix it and prevent him from doing it again!

Not to mention Cujo and Ellie are trapped in there with him. They’re not happy to be there either, and there is no way he’s going to leave without them!

[violent138]

Tim, looking around the darkened corridor: "You think it's a good idea to be breaking into random places right now?"

Jason said nothing, fumbling in his pockets.

Dick: "You live here, don't you?" Which gets everyone's attention laser-focused.

Jason just cast him a look, getting the door open.

Steph entered first, smacking into something that falls over. "Jeez." She complained, stumbling backward until Cass steadied her by the shoulders. "Sorry, that's my bad."

Duke turned on the lights in one motion, making everyone blink and wince.

"Get off me." Damian snapped, and Dick carefully let him go, letting him limp angrily into a chair. He frowned, scrutinizing the place. "You live here? Why would anyone--"

"Guys." Dick rubbed his eyes over the mask, cutting off Damian and Jason’s sharp answer. "First aid kit?" Dick asked Jason tiredly.

Jason nodded, moving to get it and heard Damian ask "What?" in response to a patented glare he must be getting.

Tim had made a beeline for the kitchen. "Dude, why do you have a singular set of dishes? And why are there just guns in this cabinet?"

Jason scoffed, handing Dick the kit. "Didn't realize I was running a fucking bed and breakfast."

"There's guns in this cabinet too!" Tim shook his head, opening and closing two more. "Oh good, just large knives in this one."

At Tim's raised eyebrows, Jason went into the kitchen and shooed Cass down the counter she was perched on, grabbing the paper plates he kept in a drawer and shoving them into Tim's chest.

Glancing at the way Steph was rubbing her neck, slouched at the table, Jason grabbed two ice packs, sliding one her way and throwing the other to Damian.

Duke, taking a book off Jason's meticulously organized shelf: "Why do you have seven copies of Pride and Prejudice? Did you keep forgetting you bought it, or--?"

Jason, storming over to put the book back. "Stop."

Dick looked up from the wound he was stitching. "Are they different at at all?"

"Are they in different languages?" Steph asked.

"Did you barter them for food? Because your fridge is fucking empty." Tim reported.

Jason groaned, realizing that they weren't going to drop it. "One has a different introduction and one is the zombies version. And yes, the rest are the same, now could you all stop touching stuff?"

"Why do you have five copies of the same book?"

[regonold]

Danny accidentally starts beef with batman over kids

So I'm a sucker for dani and dan being Danny's kids (bonus points if danny gets called mum) and both of them are chaotic

The bat kids (family all of them batman and alfred included) are chaotic as well danny learns this after freshly joining the league as the semi immortal possibly from the start of time phantom and the league are introducing him to everyone and bonding and mentioning some of the wacky how the fuck shit that batman and his kids have done

So danny mentions some of the stuff his kids have done whilst batman is passing by, batman who hasn't had a nap in the past 72 hours and the day before as bruce was dealing with margie on the pta

And he makes a comment just a tiny one about how his kids saved a group from a hostage situation

And thus the rivalry began danny and batman keep bragging to each other about their kids sometimes it's vigilante stuff sometimes it mundane danny brags about how dani is so good with animals batman brags about how his youngest volunteers at the animal shelter

Just give me batman and danny bragging about their children to each other

[spicy-apple-pie]

Does this have a point? Yes. I wanted to see more soft dad Bruce and more of early Damian forced into accepting affection because he's sick.

Edit: this isn’t part of the adopted Damian au, this is canon Damian. He’s just so out of it because of the fever

Commission Info / Kofi