#incorrect commissioner gordon quotes

[incorrect-quotes-4-u]

DC Quotes #1

Commissioner Gordon: I’d like to live through a week that’s not a whole new verse of “We Didn’t Start the Fire.”

[mindflayer-inc]

Batman AU

Batman tells Gordon that he doesn't kill. Thinking that it's a legality issue, Gordon deputizes Batman and gives him a gun and badge. Batman of course doesn't use the gun and just figures Gordon is stressed.

After Joker kills a Robin, Gordon starts to deputize the Batfam members.

Gordon: Next time you see that clown. Take. The. Shot. Rookie.

Robin (Tim, tiny ass 14 year old holding a 45 magnum): Umm... Yes sir?

Batman (plus all the Rogues, minions, and citizens of Gotham when Robin shows up with a 45 Magnum):

[incorrectbatfam]

Jason: *gets pulled over*

Comm. Gordon, whispering into his radio: Not our guy. This one's got pants.

[shyjusticewarrior]

DC Comics Incorrect Quotes Pt 137

Jim: Has anyone seen my taser?

Dick: Red Hood.

Tim: Red Hood.

Jason: ... Oh, I'm sorry, is this your taser?

Harley: Is stabbing someone immoral?

Tim: Not if they consent to it.

Jason: Depends who you're stabbing.

Jason: We can go to my apartment. No one knows where I live.

Tim: I thought you had Dick over there once.

Jason: Yeah, it was fun. I moved the next day.

[dcau-incorrect-quotes]

Commissioner Gordon : Let's play a game. It's called “Who Can Be Quiet The Longest".

Robin: Cool! Batman loves that game!

[karmaspidr]

Batman: What is the situation, Commissioner?

Gordon: Some of Joker's guys tried to rob a shipment of Ace Chemicals. My guys got an anonymous tip, most likely from those responsible for this, saying where they are and that the situation has been handled. And to also bring a few ambulances.

Batman: Scans the scene. Paramedics are treating men with clown face paint. Cops are struggling to cut down tied-up men in ridiculously high places. Some were receiving emergency surgery.

Batman: Any idea who did this?

Gordon: Figured it wasn't your squad. Hands Batman a note. It reads, 'Courtesy of Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends. P.S., sorry about the blood.

Batman: Turns to some of the thugs.

Thug 1: The Devil... The Devil is in Gotham. He's come for us all!

Thug 2: It was like fighting three different people at once. One moment he was throwing baterangs at us and the next he was caving our fucking skulls in.

Thug 3: I don't know how he did it. He was like ten feet away. I shot him. I should have hit him. But when I fired, he was in my face. And he made fun of me!

[dc-and-damirae]

the Waynes got robed and damian is keping up aperianses

damian with a lemur on his shoulder: So then the guy just took off before security could come in.

cop, writing down his statement: Thank you, sir, we swear to find this man and get back your stuff.

commissioner gordon, glaring:

cop: commissioner?

gordon, glaring:

damian: U-Um, is something wrong?

commissioner: Tch. Let’s go, officer.

cop, walking away with him: Were you about to throw hands with that lemur?

gordon: That little bastard started it.

[arguablysomaya]

Bruce: Commissioner Gordon.

Gordon: Batman.

Dick: Robin.

Gordon: ? That's your own name

Dick: It was the only one left !

[scarletembers04]

Poor Jim

[excarow]

Police officer: wow! So how did you know Robin would be able to handle that? Isn't he the new one?

Commissioner Gordan, who fully forgot that this was the New Robin™ : the bats are professionals.

[mythicalyeticat]

Gordon: Ninety percent of the time I’m not even responsible for taking down the criminals.

The rest of the GCPD: What if you quit working with Batman?

Gordon: Yeah what if?

[dercolaris]

Robin takes a new inmate to Arkham that's constantly under high voltage through a horrible experiment of Dr. Strange.

Robin: Be careful with him. He might disturb big parts of your electric devices.

Gordon: Even after working for so long in this forsaken city I'm still surprised what's lurking on the streets.

Jonathan: *Looks out of his cell and smirks* Is there really anything Gotham isn't having by now, Commissioner?

Edward: *Out of another cell* How about straight people?

[incorrectbatfam]

Dick: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail.

Jason: No, it's my fault. I shouldn't have used my one phone call to prank call the police.

[earlier]

Comm. Gordon: Commissioner Gordon speaking.

Jason: Is your refrigerator running?

[shyjusticewarrior]

DC Comics Incorrect Quotes Pt 231

Tim: *has head wrapped in bubble wrap*

Duke: *punching him in the head*

Jason: What are you guys doing?

Tim: Try it, I can't feel a thing!

Jason: *punches him in the head*

Duke and Jason: *take turns punching him in the head*

Jim: You have the right to remain silent.

Harley: I choose to waive that right. *screams*

[jasonsthunderthighs]

Robin!Tim: I'm not listenin to Jason. I was just hangin around with him all day cause he was givin me food. He's ma' friend.

Kon: Jason is not your friend. He's, like, a villain or somethin.

Jason: *Dressed as the Phantom of the Opera* How's it goin Mr. President?

Robin!Tim: Ah! A villain!

Commissioner Gordon: A villain you say!?

Jason: You'll never take me alive, copper! *runs away*

[ronnyraygun]

Sometimes, if I have a really funny idea in my head, and have no way of actually turning into something at that moment, I’ll make, like, a little script for it? And honestly? Oh, man. This is looking rEALLY tempting…