#incorrect quotes!!

[daily-fengari-things]

Fengári, at some point, probably: "Hey! It's a fun guy standing next to a fun-gi!!" *snaps a picture of Ven standing next to some shelf mushrooms*

[traveller-of-the-knight]

*ok, but what is Jake's stragle?*

[bisexualvader]

[vodrae]

Rich pregnant socialite: So we went to this clinic and let them manipulate our genes so we're 100% sure our child won't have any disease, he will have my hair and his father eyes and so much things we did for him! And you Bruce ?

Brucie: Found em in the trash. Except Tim, he found me in the trash.

[cricket-moth]

Jason: once I tried to rob this preppy kid on his way to school but before I could even get a threat out he told me ‘please don’t hesitate’ and I was so agasp that this eight year old just asked me to kill him outright that I ran off into an alleyway and cried.

Tim:

Tim: omg wait that was me!!! :D

[az-roser]

Slang Education Day

Imagining Alastor and his Great Depression ass trying to comprehend internet terms is hilarious to me.

{Part 1} {Part 2} {Part 3}

I used the LITERAL list that Amir Talai posted on his Insta of ACTUAL terms he had to Google bc of the HH fandom 😂😭. (but same bc I also didn’t know what half these terms meant 🫠)

That man is so unhinged he truly is Alastor irl

[marksandrec]

Marks and Rec: Misc #2605

Don't forget to feed your wizard. (Dialogue is just made up, lol.)

[celaenaeiln]

Bird: *whistling*

Dick: *whistling back*

Bird: *whistling harder*

Dick: *copying it*

Bird: *excitedly hopping around and whistling a tune*

Dick: *grinning and copying back*

Bruce: Nightwing, stop that.

Dick: why? We’re just whistling

Bird: *chirping in agreement*

Bruce: *glaring at the bird* such a behavior is a security risk. You’re needed on fourth. *taking off into the night*

Dick: ..??? What was that all about?

Tim: *over comms* Bruce thinks all birds are government spies

Dick: What? That’s dumb!

Tim: …mhmm

Dick: Tim, don’t tell me you believe it too. That’s ridiculous!

Tim:

Tim: ...it has plausible theory!

Dick: ...oh my god Tim.

Bird: *sad chirping noises*

Later

Dick: You know, there's another reason why I know they aren’t government spies.

Tim: and why’s that?

Dick: *holding back his laughter* Because they’re whistleblowers

Tim: ... :0

Tim: oh my god they're whistleblowers

Dick: okay no.

[incorrect-batfam-quotes-mostly]

*in a hospital room*

Tim: Am i in trouble?

Bruce, who just found out Tim doesn't have a spleen: Take a guess

Tim: …no?

Bruce: Take another guess

[daemonmage]

Bruce about to reveal his identity to the JL

Bruce: “I’m going to do something that may traumatize two of you. I am not sorry.”

Oliver: “oh come on Batman your identity isn’t that special.”

Bruce going full whiny play boy: “Dinah! Ollie is being mean to me!!!”

Oliver: blue screens

Dinah: “YOU BITCH!?”

[daily-fengari-things]

*is raining*

Feng, running up to Ven with his hands cupped (and soaking wet), looking entirely ready to vibrate out of their skin: "Ven! Ven, Look!"

Ven, who was sitting in the shade where he can't get wet and writing: "Hm?"

Feng, shoving his hands full of worm into Ven's face: "His name is Jerry! And-"

[galaxymagitech]

Bruce: Congratulations, Jason! You’re the first of my kids to graduate college!

Dick: Yeah, first and only one for all eternity!

Bruce: *Ignoring Dick by sheer willpower* Anyway, what are you planning to do next?

Jason: I think I’m going to continue my education in English Lit.

Bruce: *nervously* Great. You’ll get a Master’s Degree, right?

Jason: …

Bruce: …right?

Jason: Actually, I’m going for a PhD.

Bruce: This is a terrible joke. You’re over the supervillainy, right, Jay?

Jason: Look, my application to GothamU’s PhD program was accepted!

Bruce: No child! Of mine! Will get! A PhD!!!

Jason: I’m hoping to be a literature professor at GothamU, if I survive long enough.

Bruce: *screams incoherently*

Dick: I think you broke him.

[batcavescolony]

*hanging out at Titans Tower*

Dick: do you know what I hate? People acting as if JASON was an angry Robin-

Jason: can you not?

Dick: shut up! I'd say I was angry as Robin, Damian for a bit, Tim a little bit but JASON! JASON?

Jason: I have a rep-

Dick: HE WAS ADORABLE! He said 'Robin gives me magic', he had his little front curls, he used to wrap himself up in his cape so he was just a yellow triangle with legs, he looked like a little duckling!

Jason: *launching himself at Dick* SHUT UP!!!!

Dick: *prying Jason's hands away from his face* HE-

Jason: IGNORE HIM! He's a liar.

Donna: Jason you worked with us as Robin to fight Brother Blood. We know how you were and you were adorable.

[fandom-drake]

Jason about to stab a demon with the All Blades: (Pauses) Would this be considered breaking B's no kill rule?

Tim trying to keep the demons mind controlled victims from killing him: If B has an issue with that I'm posting his post-Jason-death hospitalization rates on the fucking internet.

[ahfrickenfrick]

dick: you can’t just do that, it’s illegal

jason: pft what are you, a cop?

dick: ……

jason: no…

dick: listen- jay it’s-

jason: NO

[milesofstars]

dont worry about it jason...