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#jason is Harleys favorite
z0ned0utish · 10 months
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You can't tell me that Harley and Ivy aren't the 'fun aunts' when they visit the bat boys.
Like Harley brings the boys sweet all the time and Ivy shows the boys how to look after their plants.
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Bonus:
Harley would sneak the bat brothers sweets when they were Robin without Batman knowing.
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one-upgirl · 7 days
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I was bored so I made favorite character bingo. It was so hard to limit myself to a few characters so I may make another in the future. Overall it was very fun!
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iszapizza · 2 years
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them
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harleycao · 3 months
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Jason Todd Is Right
Trigger Warnings: mentions of k*lling, mentions of corruption/government corruption,
Jason Todd is right and even a lot of Jason fans don't seem to accept/realize that.
The problem is that a lot of people think about Jason and his stance on killing based on how the real world works rather than the one in which Jason exists. Because Gotham can NEVER be rid of crime and corruption. It it was, Batman would no longer be needed and that wouldn't sell.
Jason is right that Batman will never be able to eradicate crime completely. But controlling it is possible.
He's also right that the joker should be killed but that's a post of its own.
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bhaalsdeepbat · 2 months
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Ten fandoms, ten characters, ten tags
Tagged by @kingthunder thank you !!!
BG3: Astarion
King of the Hill: Bobby Hill
DC Comics: Harley Quinn
Steven Universe: Pearl
Tokyo Mew Mew: Ichigo
Overwatch: Mercy
Yugioh: Bakura
Avatar: The Last Airbender: Toph
Dragon Age: Iron Bull
WWDITS: Nadja
Tagging: @cleric4vampire, @justabiteofspite, @dragon--sage, @wizardarchetypes, @tadpole-apocalypse, @preciouslittlebhaalbae, @thebalancedangel, @ineadhyn, @kemalamalas, and @sarehime
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Danny and Jason are the kind of couple who call each other the sweetest pet names when talking to other people but when it's just the two of them it's just things like “dude” or “my guy”.
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Boy meets world is really really good
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zylev-blog · 6 months
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Jazz, Bruce, and Harley are in med school together. Jazz and Harley are going for psychology, while Bruce was going for medical. The trio were fast friends and kept in touch even after Bruce dropped out.
Years later, Harley is with the Joker, Bruce is Batman, and Jazz is a successful psychologist. The trio still keep in touch, but neither Harley nor Jazz has made the Batman connection.
They have monthly dinner dates to talk shit about everyone. The Joker tried to interrupt them once, and Jazz nearly beat him to death. Joker doesn’t interrupt anymore. Bruce and Harley count this as their favorite memory and lovingly bring it up all the time.
Harley and Jazz both love their nephews. Dick, of course, is Jazz’s favorite, while Jason was Harley’s. By the time the rest of the Batkids came, Jazz had her own private practice studio and had employed Harley as a criminal psychologist. Poison Ivy kept the office looking green with beautiful plants that were only carnivorous if the Joker showed up.
Bruce wants to tell them about being Batman, since it had been well over a decade he’d been operating now. Little did Bruce know that Harley and Jazz had made the connection around year five and were waiting on Bruce to tell them.
It had become a running joke. Jazz and Harley got Bruce all of the Batman merch, and would follow Batman around, snapping pictures (which may or may not have been Tim’s idea) and would get them framed. Bruce’s favorite picture was one Harley took of him, Nightwing, and Superman after a case they’d solved. The sun in the background made them look badass.
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qcomicsy · 1 year
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The office but it's just the Batfamily.
Batman/Bruce, in the middle of a huge argument in the diner room: I have no favorites.
Batman (to the camera): My favorite is Cass. She can neutralize every single one of us.
Camera on cass eating a bagel, while Bruce narrates: And I respect that.
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Duke: Cass.
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Cass: Duke.
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Steph: Cassie!
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Selina: You know who it is.
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Jason (to the camera): Dick? Oh that's so fucking easy it's the gremilin
Tim (To the camera): It's the gremlin.
Oracle/Babs (To the camera): Damian.
Steph: Evil child.
Damian: Me.
Dick as nightwing in a rooftop walking around with his hands: Oh my god, I can't belive you even asked me this??! We are all a big ass family and- We just keep going, like there's so many people here who I never saw before snd they just *poof* keep spalming and- Like cmon guys get a grip-
Dick (To the camera): *sight*
Dick:... It's Damian.
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Jason (To the camera) without batting an eye: Tim.
Cameraman: I'm sorry- *checks notes* I'm confused... Didn't you to- Tried. to kill Tim Drake once?
Jason:
Jason: So?
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Tim (To the camera): I feel like I should say Bruce....
Tim: I mean it needs to be someone I admire, respect, enjoy and stand up for despite all flaws.
Tim: Like despite every single wrongs right?
Tim:
Tim:
Tim, horrofied: Oh my god it's Jason.
Jason on the other side of the window behind Tim wearing a full Red-Hood atire and holding a cellphone gen 1: HA-HA.
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Alfred (to the camera): It's not Master Bruce.
Bruce: Alfred? Definitely not me.
Dick: It's Bruce.
Alfred (to the camera): You don't raise as many children as the fate bring to your doorstep by yourself, take care of their wounds, wait for them in a cold night without getting any type of rest until you receive a single sign indicating that they got home safe and then get the luxury to choose.
Alfred (To the camera): I wouldn't even consider the luxury of choosing.
Alfred, serving tea at the dinner table: You all made my hair go gray equally.
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Babs (To the camera): Me.
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Damian: This is ridiculous, obviously I would pick my father.
Damian to the camera: Nightwing.
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Harley: I'm not even sure how y'all let me be part of this.
Camera man: We didn't-
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Commissioner Gordon ( To the camera): If I'm being honest I feel like I resent every single one of them.
Commissioner Gordon: Except of course, my daughter.
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istannuggies · 2 years
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Danny, Jazz with Aunty Harley
So Harley met them before she went crazy and hot, and afterwards they visited her in jail sometimes.
Then one day Danny comes to visit her cuz " i haven't seen her so long and it's been boring here since i got crowned"
Harley was mid fight with the Bats and Ivy after a date night gone right duh.
In comes Danny waving
"AUNTY HARLEY!!! YOUR FAVORITE and only NEPHEW IS HERE!! oh HI AUNTY IVY!"
everything just stops...
the bats are confused af cuz who tf is that and where did he come from
Ivy just smiles and waves back while dogging one of the bats attacks
Harley just looks done (like the face my siblings make when i did smth stupid again)
"DANNY! You again you fucking Chaos Gremlin, i haven't seen you in ages! (while trying to bash robins head in) how's Jazz? Did she not come with you? ( u know normal small talk )
Danny answering her etc while absolutely not bothered by the bats tho he be eyeing the Hoods ass more than socially acceptable.
All the while the Bats are trying to understand who is this, why is he not bothered being mid fight between them and two villains?????
I do see Jason not even fighting just watching them and noticing Danny watching his good looking peaches 🍑
So he goes to him and questions him a bit but mainly just talking with danny about some random shit and them ending up talking about weird billionaires and why they suck while harley and ivy escape.
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incorrectbatfam · 1 year
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Could you please do some headcanons about Batmans cooking disasters over the years?
Age 5: Bruce puts tinfoil in the microwave. Alfred shakes his head and laughs
Age 6: He decorates a cookie so badly another kid cries until they throw up
Age 7: He tries to make a PB&J and the countertop is sticky for a week
Age 8: He tries to make Martha's chicken noodle soup but ends up crying on the kitchen floor surrounded by half-chopped vegetables
Age 9: He tries to impress a houseguest by recreating Thomas's mixology tricks (sans alcohol). There's still a stain on the ceiling to this day
Age 10: He makes green eggs. It's not on purpose. He's never even read the book
Age 11: He makes lava in the school cafeteria
Age 12: He tries to make cheese bread by drilling holes into a baguette and filling it with melted nacho cheese
Age 13: He melts a cutting board in the oven
Age 14: He folds a Pop Tart
Age 15: The chocolate-covered bananas he makes for the school bake sale come out looking very very wrong
Age 16: He's asked to drop a home economics class after mistaking refried beans for pumpkin puree in a pie
Age 17: He boils eggs in the carton
Age 18: He makes his entire freshman dorm evacuate after burning his ramen to ash
Age 19: He sculpts a severed hand out of meatloaf and is sent to the university psychologist
Age 20: He tries to bake a cake but doesn't have a cake pan, so he pours the batter right in the oven
Age 21: He tries Thomas's mixology tricks again, this time with alcohol. One of the tricks is flipping it over his head. He ends up losing part of his vision for 3 days
Age 22: He burns water. Harley Quinn is there. She still holds it over his head
Age 23: He packs his first patrol snack as Batman. It's a chocolate bar wrapped in a tortilla. The chocolate melts onto his gloves and he drops the tortilla down a sewer grate
Age 24: He makes an ice cream cookie sandwich to eat while he and Batgirl work on a case, but he's so engrossed in the work that he doesn't notice it melt until Babs points it out
Age 25: He enters the first annual Justice League cook-off and immediately gets banned from ever entering again
Age 26: He tries to comfort little Dickie Grayson by making fried cornbread from a book of Roma comfort recipes. It turns out about as well as you'd expect when you give Bruce Wayne hot oil. Bruce is genuinely bummed out, but Dick says it's the thought that counts
Age 27: Clark delivers a huge hunk of beef from the farm. Instead of waiting for Alfred to come back, Bruce and Dick try to break it down with a power saw
Age 28: Bruce and Dick's latkes are burned so badly they can play floor hockey with them
Age 29: He makes stuffed mushrooms. Badly. Like imagine the worst way you can fuck up a mushroom. It still won't compare to what Bruce did. And it's for a potluck with the West-Allens that Barry won't let him live down
Age 30: Bruce sees Dick struggling to make ravioli and he's like "Let me show you how it's done" before proceeding to make it infinitely worse
Age 31: Bruce sees a hungry Jason Todd and the first thing he does when they return to the manor is make a double-decker bread sandwich. That's bread with two more slices of bread in between
Age 32: Bruce packs Dick and Jason's lunchboxes when Alfred is out of town. They're supposed to include a salad. Instead, Dick gets a whole head of lettuce and Jason's is just a bottle of ranch
Age 33: He makes hot chocolate after patrol... but forgets the chocolate
Age 34: The Manor is too cold, so Bruce tries to warm it up by making Jason's favorite soup. His hands shake the whole time. Suddenly, he's eight years old again, sitting on the kitchen floor surrounded by scraps reminding him of his failure
Age 35: Jack and Janet Drake are out of the country again, leaving young Timmy by himself. Bruce decides to bring some dinner over. It's baked perfectly, but it's full of things that shouldn't be anywhere near a casserole dish. They end up ordering takeout and watching old detective movies together
Age 36: Steph walks through how to make waffles. Bruce is standing there, watching closely and taking notes. They still come out looking radioactive
Age 37: Cass asks if they can get smoothies. Bruce says he can make them at home. She gives him a warning look but that's not enough to stop him. Cue Bruce forgetting to put the lid on the blender
Age 38: Jason's first night back at home, Bruce tries to make that soup. It shoots out like a geyser and hits the lights. He's panicking until he hears Jason laugh, and then the soup doesn't matter
Age 39: Damian screws up hummus and he desperately tries to hide it so people won't see him as inadequate at something so basic. Instead of getting upset, Bruce assures him it's okay and offers to fix it. (He doesn't fix it, he just makes it worse)
Age 40: Bruce's birthday happens while he's fake-dead and away from home. He grabs a convenience store cupcake and sticks a single candle on it. Then he closes his eyes, pretends his family is around him, and makes a wish. (The candle droops and sets the hotel sheets on fire)
Age 41: Back at the Manor, he attempts to make lemonade on a particularly hot day. Selina offers to help, but Bruce declines, saying, "How hard can it be?" (Spoiler alert: it's not supposed to be full of seeds)
Age 42: Kate shows him a video of Canadians pouring maple syrup into the snow to make candy, so he gets her to boil the syrup so they can do it together. The problem comes when they can't control the pour and end up with a glob the size of Damian
Age 43: As part of a school project, Bruce and Duke try to deduce the Coca-Cola secret formula. Duke's teacher takes a point off because at the beginning he told her he'd taste the results, but there's no way he's doing that now
Age 44: The family gets together to make a full English breakfast Alfred's birthday. Each person takes a part—Dick has eggs, Jason has the grilled tomatoes, Tim has mushrooms, Duke has the bacon, Steph and Cass are tag-teaming the sausages, Damian just has to open a can of beans, and Bruce needs to put bread in the toaster. It goes South immediately when Damian reaches for his katana instead of the can opener
Age 45: Bruce puts tinfoil in the microwave. Alfred shakes his head and laughs
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Au where Redhood’s “I’m not your son anymore, Batman” is contagious.
Aka: Tim Drake sees Jason, his favorite Robin, decide that Batman isn’t cool anymore.
Warnin: violent stuff ahead, per usual for Red Hood. Talk of murder and disability, and full body paralysis caused intentionally.
Tim is peer pressured. If Jason thinks Batman isn’t cool? That no-kill rules are getting in the way? Well then maybe Tim should listen.
Tim changes his name to Red Robin, to match Red Hood’s theme.
Jason finds himself with a tiny stalker who is absolutely fine with murder. Killing criminals to clean up gothams streets? Heads in bags? Jason, that sounds brilliant. Sign Tim up.
Jason realizes this is a chance to get back at Batman. Corrupting the replacement Robin? It’s a genius plan.
Meanwhile, Batman has no idea Red Hood is Jason.
You think Tim told Bruce why exactly he was leaving? Jokes on you. He’s a bat, and bats are notorious for communication issues.
From Batman’s perspective, his Robin his son just ran off to go be a sidekick to some rouge. Could mind control be at play? Tim left an encrypted note that said “I’m not being mind controlled, Batman. Also, you’re not my dad.” Batman is skeptical, since the puzzle looks like something Tim would make (it took hours for Batman to decode). But “I’m not being mind controlled” is what someone being mind controlled would say. Or worse, the mind control is preventing Tim from realizing he’s being mind controlled.
Batman is trying to lure Robin back using all the tricks. Baiting traps with Alfred’s cookies. Leaving really cool cases unsolved. Even asking the Justice League for help.
He even informs Nightwing of what happened.
Nightwing isn’t absolutely against the murder-spree his two baby birds are on.
He’s not going to join the murder. Killing isn’t something he could ever do himself. But he gets it.
Dick did the research before even knowing Red Hood’s identity. He knows hood only went after the truly corrupt. The ones that were unforgivable. Drug lords, human traffickers, all the worst kinds of predators.
He’s surprised when Red Hood reveals his identity to Dick. Jason is trying to hold Tim back from too much murder, and decided to throw the feral child at Nightwing.
This meant revealing his identity. And it helps that maybe Jason was missing his brother.
Dick is now incredibly happy. He has his two younger brothers. Nothing could be better.
Sure, Batman is missing his son. But maybe Bruce deserves it a little bit?
Barbara is down to kill the clown.
Red Hood and Red Robin approach her with an elaborate plot to break into Arkham and murder the Joker. Since the Joker hurt Batgirl so badly, Red Robin argues, Oracle should he allowed to decide if she wants in on the revenge scheme.
And Oracle? She has a worse idea. Murder is alright, but did they suffer? Not really. Barbara decides to make the revenge personal: neck down paralysis. The Joker won’t be able to hurt anyone else. If Joker somehow heals? Then murder is acceptable. But having Joker watch his empire of chaos crumble around him as he’s helpless to stop it? That’s the revenge Barbara wants.
It means investing in better security for Arkham, to make sure Joker can’t corrupt someone else like he did to Harley Quinn. It means making sure Ra’s Al Ghul doesn’t break in and heal the joker with Lazarus water.
Jason is consoled by the fact that before paralyzing the clown, he gets to beat him with a crowbar.
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libraryofgage · 5 months
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Harlequin Prince (2)
Part of: Steve Deserves Good Parents, Actually
Debbie and Fester Addams One | Two | Three | Four Rick and Evelyn O'Connell One | Two | Three Harley Quinn One | Two (you're here!) 10th Doctor and Rose One | Two (on the way!) Scooby Gang (there are plans for this one lmao, so plz be patient with me orz) Jedidiah and Octavius (from Night at the Museum) One Queen ClarisseRenaldi One | Two
This part was line-jumped on Ko-Fi, which means y'all got it sooner than I originally planned!
If you want to line jump your favorite series, you can learn more here
Ironically, even tho the post says about a week of turn around, I get so excited that somebody wants to line jump that I just write it immediately lmao
Steve finally gets a good fight in this one, but it ends way too soon the poor boy. Either way, he also gets to meet some of the party!
As always, if you see any typos, no you didn't ;)
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Steve knew his dad wasn't in the picture, but he never knew why. He never asked, but he started to get this horrible feeling after a while. Harley Quinn's past was well known to Steve, her previous...associate and her relationship with him isn't exactly a secret, no matter how much his mother tried to keep them from him. She couldn't protect him at school, and she couldn't protect him from hearing people talking on the streets.
So, yeah, from the age of nine, Steve walked around with this horrendous knowledge in his gut, a knowledge that he wanted to think was just him being paranoid. But it wasn't. He knew it wasn't. He just couldn't admit that to himself, and he couldn't ask his mother because he didn't want to send her down that particular lane of memories. So it festered, and Steve pretended it didn't exist at all.
Until, that is, his 13th birthday. It was held at Uncle Bruce's mansion because his mother wanted to go all out. It was as much a celebration for her (a full three years without getting sent to Arkham!) as it was for him (managing to stay alive for 13 years in Gotham with Harley Quinn for a mother). Steve hadn't minded, either, especially when he saw the absolute joy she had when picking out the hugest bounce-house she could find with Uncle Bruce's sleek black credit card.
The party was catered by Steve's favorite Indian restaurant, the guests were limited to immediate friends and family, the bounce-house was extra bouncy, and a table was practically buckling under the weight of the gifts piled on top of it. It was, by far, Steve's best birthday, surpassing even the one he spent in Arkham after letting Poison Ivy out of her cell.
"Hey, Dumplin'!" his mother shouted, waving at him from the top of the bounce house she'd managed to climb. When Steve looked at her, she grinned even brighter and jumped, launching off turrets and rolling down sloped walls before landing on her feet on the ground. "Let's get to them presents!"
Steve laughed, looked at the table eagerly, and nodded. Her grin somehow getting wider, Harley turned, cupped her hands around her mouth, and shouted, "GET YOUR ASSES IN GEAR, EVERYONE! STEVIE'S OPENIN' PRESENTS!"
Soon enough, Steve was standing in front of the table, surrounded by everyone, and not at all sure where to start with the mountain of presents. "You should open mine first," Jason said, grinning as he gestured to a bike-shaped package.
It was, in fact, a bike. A motorcycle, specifically, with a red and black helmet and the promise of lessons from Jason whenever he wanted. Steve loved it immediately and ignored Uncle Bruce muttering about driving laws and how Steve couldn't operate any motorized vehicle until he was fifteen. "Well," he said, "as long as I don't get caught by Batman, who's gonna know?"
That had earned him a laugh and his mother's hand ruffling his hair. "Go on, Dumplin', choose another."
Dick got him a literal outfit's worth of Wonder Woman merch, accessories included, that made Bruce look ready to pop a blood vessel. Tim gave him small tracking pins and a hacked handheld game console to watch the trackers with the promise of free upgrades anytime he wanted. Damien gave him daggers since he "wasn't good enough for real swords, but everyone should have a blade" on them, just in case. Cass, Steph, and Barbara pooled their skills together (and Alfred, they borrowed Alfred a lot) to make him an Unofficial Robin costume, complete with shorts only slightly less scandalous than Dick's original costume.
Bruce, when he finally stopped glaring at the three of them, gave Steve a fingerprint panic button shaped like a bat and easily attached to a key ring. "For emergencies, Steve," he said, "Just hold your thumb to it for three seconds."
"This is perfect for the next time we run out of ice cream," Steve said, grinning as he attached it to his key chain.
"Emergencies."
"Oh. So if we run out of mint chip, specifically. Got it."
Bruce merely sighed and let him return to opening gifts.
Alfred gave him a tin of homemade cookies that Steve immediately had to protect from the others. Poison Ivy gave him a Venus flytrap and the promise to help him grow it properly. Selina couldn't be there, but Bruce passed along her gift: a pair of goggles Bruce had handed over with a sigh and quiet request for him to use them responsibly.
Steve opened Duke's present last, eyes widening at the red leather jacket. "Wait, seriously?" he asked, holding it up as he looked at Duke.
"You're gonna be a troublemaker, Steve," Duke said. "Might as well make sure you're bulletproof for it."
Steve grinned wider and pulled on the jacket, swimming in the leather but eager to grow into it all the same.
There was nothing from his mother in the pile, but Steve figured the party itself was his present since she'd done all the planning. When she pulled him away to a secluded room in the manor after they'd all had cake, Steve realized it was just because she didn't want to share this moment with anyone.
She smiled at him, reaching up and gently tucking a few strands of hair behind Steve's ears. "You grew up so fast, Dumplin'," she said, sighing softly.
"Ivy says I'm like a weed."
"Ives is right," Harley said, nodding once before looking away. "Okay, ready for your present?"
"Wasn't the party my present?"
"No, no, Dumplin'. The party was for fun," she said, grinning as she reached behind her and pulled a comically-large mallet from seemingly nowhere. "This is your present."
Steve blinked, leaning over to look around Harley. "Where'd that even come from?" he asked.
"Jester Logic, Dumplin'. Don't worry about it. I'll teach you the trick later," she promised, holding the mallet out to Steve with an expectant expression.
When Steve took it, the weight threw him off. He frowned, shifted his grip, and suddenly had no problem holding it up. He took a closer look, noting the scratches and marks on the mallet and the faded paint. "This was yours," he said.
"Yeah, it was."
"I've never seen it before."
Harley sighed, tugging on one of her pigtails with a slight frown. "Yeah, well, I wasn't exactly a great person when I used it, Dumplin'. Tried to forget about that Harley and all," she explained.
"Then why give it to me?"
Harley looked back at Steve and smiled, reaching out to cup his cheek. "Cuz you're so much better than me," she said. "I think you'll do some great things, Dumplin', and maybe all the good you do will erase most of the bad this mallet's got."
Her words were so serious, her smile was so bittersweet, and she looked ready to cry and deny it. This was the closest he'd ever gotten to learning about her past straight from the source, a past he knew about it, a past that involved a certain person that haunts Steve's mind with terrifying potential. Suddenly, he had to know.
Steve didn't really think before blurting out, "Is the Joker my father?"
Harley froze, her shoulders tensing and her eyes widening as she stared at Steve. "You don't got a father, Dumplin'," she finally said, her voice quiet and her expression conflicted.
"Fine. Was he the sperm donor?"
With a sigh, Harley stepped closer and placed her hands on Steve's shoulders. "I won't lie," she said. "He is, but that don't mean a thing. His crazy ain't hereditary, Dumplin', and he's never gettin' anywhere near you."
"Does...does he know?" Steve whispered, "About me, I mean."
"It don't matter," Harley said, her voice firm and her eyes more serious than Steve had ever seen them. "I'll kill him before he gets near ya. Ives will kill him. Hell, Brucie wil---no, wait, he's got those pesky morals. Fine, Jason will kill him before he gets near ya. Actually, Jason'd kill him anyway, but the excuse will be good if Brucie scolds him for it."
Steve couldn't help laughing at that, feeling a little lighter when his mother smiled back at him. When his laughter trickled to nothing more than a smile, he asked, "Then, was I the reason you left?"
Harley nodded and gently tugged Steve into her arms, holding him to her and cradling the back of his head. "Yeah, you were," she said, her voice soft and soothing. "I was excited to tell 'im when I learned about you, but then I heard him talking to some goons. He was laughin' about running a kid over, breakin' their legs, and I realized...you wouldn't be special to him. You'd've been like his goons, all expendable and not even worth a glance. I couldn't put you through that, and I couldn't put me through it, either. So, I got us out the only way I knew how."
"By finding Uncle Bruce," Steve said.
He felt her nod. "By finding Brucie," she agreed. "He tried to deny bein' the Bat and all, but your mama ain't dumb, Dumplin'. I'd done my homework, and the butts matched. Once I explained it all, once I told him about you, he agreed to help."
Steve nodded, listening to his mother's heart beating against his ear. He glances down at the mallet again, tightens his grip, and takes a deep breath. "Thank you," he said, "for the gift and for telling me. I'll do good with it, I promise."
"That's my boy," Harley said, pulling back and ruffling his hair. "Now, lemme explain that Jester Logic to ya."
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Hawkins remains boring even after meeting Eddie. After all, Eddie's in high school (his second attempt at senior year, apparently), and Steve...isn't. He should be, probably, but there's no way he's stepping one foot in that suburban nightmare of a building. He can feel the normalcy, the utter boredom, oozing from the place, and he'd rather not subject himself to that.
So, he spends his day wandering around Hawkins, getting a feel for the little town until he could navigate the place blindfolded. He can do the same in Gotham, but it's more impressive there with the winding streets and sprawling sidewalks. Here, it's nothing special.
The most interesting part of his day is when he's sitting on the roof of a video store, one leg dangling over the edge with the other pulled to his chest so he can rest his arm on his knee. He's about halfway through a cigarette when a cop car pulls into the lot and a middle-aged man steps out.
He looks up at Steve, frowning as he calls up, "You shouldn't be there, son."
"I ain't your son," he calls back, grinning as he takes another drag and blows smoke out as the guy rests his hands on his belt. It reminds him so much of Gotham PD rookies trying to posture that Steve can't help laughing. "Is that supposed to intimidate me?"
"I'm serious, kid," the cop says, apparently ignoring Steve's question. "It's dangerous up there. If you don't come down, I'm gonna have to call the Fire Department to bring the ladder."
Steve sighs and puts his cigarette out on the roof. He gets up, stretches his arms above his head, and stands on the ledge of the roof. He grins at the cop, casually stepping into empty air and hearing the guy shout as he falls. He lands in a crouch on the awning over the door, swings to hang from it, and lands on his feet on the sidewalk.
It wasn't even much of a fall, but the cop looks like he's about to have a heart attack. Steve glances at the badge on his chest. "We done now, Officer Hopper?" he asks.
"Don't do that again," Hopper says, pointing a finger at Steve, "Or I will drag your ass to the station and call your parents."
Steve snorts, doing his best to hold his smile back. "I'll keep that in mind, sir," he says, giving a mocking two-finger salute before turning on his heels and walking down the street.
After a few blocks, he veers off into the forest, figuring he'll wander around the trees for a while before going to the Hideout to bother Bev and stare at Eddie and quietly pray someone else is gonna look for a fight.
Did he mention Hawkins is boring? Because it's fucking boring.
Steve sighs, kicking a stick as he shoves his hands into his jacket. He idly notes the forest is healthy. Sure, a few pieces of litter are strewn around, but it's not as bad as the parks in Gotham can get. Poison Ivy would find this place barely passable, which is hard to manage, and he's tempted to call her when he gets home to tell her about it.
He hums softly as he walks, enjoying the sounds of the forest until they just...stop.
The entire forest falls silent, which is weird; forests are too full of life to go silent. Even the bugs seem to have frozen in place, too scared to risk making a sound by moving. Steve stops, looking around him with a frown and trying to figure out what's caused this.
He gets the answer a second later when he hears a scream. The voice sounds young and cracks slightly, so it definitely belongs to a child. Despite himself, Steve can't help grinning as he takes off in the direction of the scream.
This is the most exciting thing to happen in the four weeks he's been stuck in Hawkins. As he runs through trees and easily jumps over bushes to take the shortest path, he makes guesses on what he'll find. Maybe Hawkins has a villain that's only now showing up. Maybe the town has a secret alligator or something that's decided to have a midday snack. Hell, maybe someone just decided to be a dick today.
He realizes every guess is wrong when he slides into a clearing to see a few kids (two boys, one girl) surrounded by some weird dog-looking...things. They have heads but no faces, crouched low to the ground and growling at the kids they've cornered. There's around ten of them, which would normally make Steve hesitate, but he's so desperate at this point for a real fight that he doesn't care.
Instead, he reaches over his shoulder, thinks about how fucking hilarious it's gonna be to jump out of nowhere with a giant mallet, and grips the handle as he swings it over his shoulder. "Hey, monster mutts!" he shouts, grinning when all the monsters and the kids finally notice him. "Let's play."
Pure, unfiltered joy rushes through him when the first monster-dog jumps at him. Steve's eyes are bright and his grin is positively feral as he swings the mallet and sends it flying into a tree. He roundhouse kicks another dog, using the momentum to bring his foot down on the head of a third before smashing its body with the mallet.
"Are you insane?!" one of the kids shouts.
"Certifiably!" he shouts back, watching as another monster-dog jumps at him. He waits for the perfect moment to back flip, bringing his feet under the dog to send it flying. He brings the mallet up as he lands, clocking another monster under the jaw. It yelps, crashing into another dog.
"Where'd this guy even come from?" the girl asks, turning to look at the boys with her.
"I don't know, but I'm happy to let him deal with the demodogs."
Oh. That's what they're called. Steve hums softly at the name, grinning as he twirls the mallet and swings with all his strength at one of the demodog. He rests the mallet on his shoulder like a baseball bat, watching the demodog arch in the air with an appreciative whistle. "Solid air," he says, nodding once before looking at the remaining demodogs.
There's only three, the others scattered in the clearing. He can't tell if they're dead or not, but he could always smash them to mush when he's done. Steve grins at the remaining dogs. "C'mon, then," he says, only to be filled with disappointment when they creep back, turn heel, and run.
"Damn, that's no fun," Steve says, sighing as he rests the mallet on the ground and leans on the handle. He looks at the kids. "You guys okay?"
The girl has orange hair pulled back into a messy braid. She's staring at him like he's got two heads but is kind of impressed by it. One of the boys has curly hair being smothered by his hat, and the other is wearing a basketball jersey. They're also staring at Steve like he's crazy. "Dude," the curly-haired one says, "that was awesome!"
"Where'd you get that mallet from?" the girl asks.
"Jester Logic," Steve explains, shrugging as he picks the mallet up and walks over. "Wanna hold it?"
When the girl lights up, he passes the mallet to her, snorting when she immediately staggers under its weight. "How do you hold this so easily?"
"Jester Logic. Again. It's funnier when other people find it heavy."
"That makes no sense," basketball jersey says.
"Who are you?" curly hair asks.
"Steve. Moved here recently. What about y'all?"
"Dustin," curly hair says.
"Lucas," basketball jersey says.
"Max," the girl says, her voice strained until Steve takes the mallet back, twirling it like it weighs nothing.
"Great. Nice to meet y'all. Now, what the fuck were those?"
"How much time you got?" Dustin asks.
Steve grins, thinking he's finally found something that can keep him entertained when he's not hanging around Eddie. "Plenty."
---------
Tag list (let me know if you'd like to be added!)
@nectandra, @y4r3luv, @just-a-tiny-void,
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thesandsofelsweyr · 5 months
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What do you think Jason will do next?
Jason having a mentally strong s/o who was captured by Harley Quinn. HQ tries to break her but s/o isn’t fazed until HQ shows her videos of how Jason was tortured and gives her a hallucinogenics to believe he’s dead again. S/o tries to fight it. Jason saves her and finds a tape recorder, HQ had tape the whole interaction. Jason watches the videotape in horror…
At first he'd probably have to fight a panic attack since he sees not only her torture but his torture as well. But then he'd do everything that wasn't done for him. He'd make sure she got the best medical care, then after she checked out from the hospital, he'd take care of her at her place: waiting on her hand and foot, cooking her favorite meals, reading to her, trying to make her smile and laugh again, just letting her cuddle in the crook of his arm while gently combing his fingers through her hair. He'd keep his gun hidden from view but never far from him because there's no way in hell he'd let her go through that again.
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fluentmoviequoter · 6 months
Text
A League Christmas
Day 11 of 12 Days of Ficmas
Pairing: Dick Grayson x fem!reader
Summary: A Justice League Christmas party overwhelms you, so you sneak off to find a quiet place. Dick finds you and keeps you company.
Word Count: 1.5k+ words
Warnings: fluff, brief discussions of insecurity and anxiety, brotherly Jason Todd slander, Hal Jordan (he's a warning by himself) and a GLTAS reference.
A/N: I didn't specify which Dick Grayson this is, so feel free to pick your favorite! I just like Young Justice's Nightwing suit. Also, I love Hal and Razer in GLTAS if anyone is curious. Friendly reminder that I write for several DC characters in this fic, if you'd like to request something with them (request rules & character list)! :)
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The first annual Justice League Christmas Gala. Wonder Woman’s idea meets Batman’s money.
Your apprehension about attending has only increased since you got the invitation a week and a half before the gala. The mix of insecurity, fear, and knowing that you’ll be overwhelmed causes you to question whether or not you should RSVP.
✯✯✯✯✯
“Are you going to the gala?” Nightwing asks, landing beside you.
“I don’t know. Probably not? It’s not like a party of that size will miss one no-name vigilante,” you answer, not looking at him.
“You’re kidding, right? You have to go; who else will keep me sane?”
You glance at him before saying, “One less mouth to feed. I’m doing it for Bruce.”
Nightwing stays quiet, walking beside you until you reach the end of the alley.
“What if we go together? If I’m your date you won’t have to deal with any of it alone. I’ll be stuck by your side the entire time,” he offers.
“I- that would be nice,” you answer quietly, hopeful that being beside him will improve the night.
“Then it’s a date,” Nightwing says, his usual energy back as he jumps onto a dumpster. Extending a hand down to you, he adds, “Now, let’s find Harley, she owes me 20 bucks.”
✯✯✯✯✯
“Alfred!” Dick calls as he enters the Batcave, pulling his mask off.
“Yes, Master Grayson? Another injury?” Alfred replies.
“No, of course not, I’m not Jason,” Dick answers.
“Heard that!” Jason yells from somewhere.
Dick shrugs as he smiles at Alfred. “I need you to do something for me at the gala.”
“Anything, Master Grayson.”
✯✯✯✯✯
Stephanie and Cass invited you to go shopping for the gala and found what they (and you) deemed ‘the perfect look.’ It is a combination of your suit colors and Nightwing’s. You feel good in the dress but still wonder if you made the right decision by agreeing to go.
When you enter the venue, you hear a sharp whistle and turn to see Dick Grayson walking toward you. His suit is a deep blue, with elements of the bright Nightwing blue you’ve grown to love. A domino mask covers his eyes and cheekbones, but you still know how beautiful he is.
“You look amazing,” you tell him.
“Seriously? You look like a princess,” he gushes, running a finger over the fabric of your outfit. “You look really good in blue; better than me, maybe.”
“I don’t think that’s possible,” you argue, laughing as he brushes a piece of hair away from your mask.
“You ready?” he asks, offering his arm.
You loop your arm through his elbow, and he lays his other hand on your arm.
“You’ll do amazing,” he whispers as you approach the top of the stairs.
“Mr. Red Hood and Artemis Grace of Bana-Mighdall,” Alfred announces.
“Mr. Red Hood?” you ask, looking at Dick. “That makes you…”
“Mr. Nightwing, yep. Bruce doesn’t seem to care that everyone here already knows who we are.”
Alfred says your name first, flipping the expected script. You look at Dick and smile brightly, whispering your gratitude for making you laugh. When you reach the bottom of the stairs, you nod at Alfred and he sends you a quick, encouraging wink before reading the next set of names.
Your arm stays looped through Dick’s as you make the rounds, saying hello to the heroes you know and introducing yourself to those you don’t. Dick was serious when he said he’d be by your side the whole time. Even when you go to get drinks, his hand stays on your lower back as he orders for you.
“Nightwing? A word?” Superman asks, smiling as he looks over at you.
Dick’s face drops toward yours, and though you can’t see his dark eyes looking at you, you know what he’s asking.
“Go ahead,” you say with a nod. “I’ll be around when you’re done.”
He nods once, gripping your hand before he leaves with Superman. You accept the drink and walk to a secluded area, taking a seat and a deep breath.
“Hey,” someone says. “This seat taken?”
You’re prepared to lie to avoid a conversation, but when you see who it is you smile and say, “No, help yourself.”
✯✯✯✯✯
Dick’s eyes stray to you as he listens to Superman and answers his questions, nodding and laughing when needed. He sees someone approach the table and hopes that they don’t ask to sit down. When you smile and gesture to the seat, the man turns and Dick releases a sigh, turning his attention back to Superman.
✯✯✯✯✯
“And then Razer said, ‘Do you share my opinion that the sweet embrace of death would be welcome today?’” Green Lantern Hal Jordan finishes, laughing alongside you. “Hate to leave so soon, but thanks for the company,” he adds before standing to visit the other Green Lanterns, who were fashionably late (courtesy of Kyle Rayner, no doubt).
After he leaves, and you’re alone as your anxiety begins to grow as the music, the overlapping conversations, and the extravagant gown overwhelm your senses. Abandoning your seat, you back toward the door, smiling at Diana as she passes, before turning and leaving.
✯✯✯✯✯
Dick hasn’t checked on you since Hal sat down, but he feels a sudden urge to look over. When he sees you backing toward the door, he knows something is off.
“Sorry, Supes, but I need to go,” he interrupts.
Superman looks over his shoulder and smiles. “Take your time.”
Dick nods and rushes through the ballroom, following you up into a small sitting room with large windows. He closes the door, muffling the sounds of the party. You sigh as the quietness washes over you. Turning to him, you begin apologizing.
“I didn’t mean to ditch you, I just got overwhelmed, and…”
“Hey,” Dick interrupts, grabbing your hand and leading you to the couch.
He sits first, then pulls you down beside him, letting you lean against his side while he intertwines your fingers.
“Don’t apologize for leaving a situation that made you uncomfortable. Is that all that’s bothering you?”
“Yes. I just- it was a lot,” you answer.
“I get it. We can stay here as long as you want, or we can really ditch and go get ice cream or hot chocolate or something,” Dick offers, rubbing his free hand up and down your spine.
There is a small clicking sound just before the lawn outside the window is illuminated with thousands of Christmas lights. You stand quickly, pulling Dick to the window with you, looking at all of the decorations and the intricate light display.
Unbeknownst to you, Alfred looks up into the window and smiles when he sees you standing so close to Dick. “A Christmas miracle,” he mutters before returning to the gala.
“I’d say this is a pretty good first date, all things considered,” Dick says, wrapping his arms around you from behind.
You pull your hand from his and turn in his arms to ask, “This was a date?”
“Of course it was.” He rushes to add, “Unless you don’t want it to be.”
“No, I do,” you answer quickly. “I just thought you offered to go with me because I was nervous.”
Dick brushes his fingers against the bottom of your mask as he says, “I wanted to go with you because you’re the best part of my life.”
“Take it off,” you whisper.
Dick smiles as he pulls the mask away from your face, freezing as his eyes look into yours. He drops your mask on a nearby table, keeping his head turned away as he peels his own off and drops it beside yours.
“It’s been a while, Mr. Grayson,” you tease, looking into his eyes.
“Too long,” Dick agrees, running a knuckle along your cheekbone. “You really are the best part of me.”
“You’re the best part of me,” you parrot, pushing your hands under the lapel of his suit blazer to rest on his chest.
Dick smiles, opening his hand so his warm, calloused palm rests against your cheek. He tilts his head to kiss you, his lips moving slowly against yours in the best slow dance you’ve ever experienced. You lean against him as you follow his movements, more than happy to let him lead.
“Thanks for being my date,” you whisper as he pulls back.
“I got the good end of this deal,” he replies.
The door opens suddenly, and Dick pulls you against his chest, keeping his face to the window as he asks who it is.
“You know the masks are supposed to stay on for this reason, right?” Bruce asks.
“Then why are you using your real voice?” you respond playfully.
“Besides, I can’t kiss her in the mask,” Dick adds, turning to face Bruce.
“Your mask only covers your eyes,” Bruce argues.
“But his eyes are pretty,” you say, smiling.
“I just came to tell you that you can leave if you want to,” Bruce explains, smiling at you. “I’m glad you both came, though.”
He closes the door behind him as Dick looks at you, the Christmas lights reflecting in his eyes as he pulls you closer.
“Me too,” you both say together.
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jokers-bat · 7 months
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BatJokes Headcanons by Series:
Harley Quinn Show:
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(This is my favorite Joker quote from this show! 😆)
- Complicated, long history. On again, off again boyfriends.
- Not together but still have feelings for each other.
- Bruce was legitimately happy for Joker having a new life and job…But he missed the old Joker too.
- Joker knows Batman/Bruce is a little crazy himself but he’s still shocked whenever he does something reckless and impulsive.
- They aren’t good for each other and they know it. Like they know each other’s vulnerable sides and their demons but neither are equipped to help them get better (with Joker not wanting to get better and Bruce turning to self-destruction rather than real help).
2004 Batman
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- Night and day. Bruce is stability, peace, hope, and warmth while Joker is chaos, hate, destruction, and wacky.
- It’s rare, but there is a tenderness between them. Meeting on the roof at night, watching the sunrise, speaking freely and openly. Brief moments of peace and something more than just being enemies.
- Never said out loud, but Batman will come to save him if Joker was in danger. Similarly, Joker would protect Batman and his identity if he knew he was in trouble.
- ‘I love you’ is never said but they feel it.
Under The Red Hood
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- Not good but ify. Depends on situation and/or circumstances (following canon versus fan fiction).
- They have a history together. Were a couple at one point but it’s complicated.
- All the ‘what could have been love songs’ mixed with the ‘not over you’ songs.
- Bruce is bitter, gloomy, and full of regret while Joker is crazy, out of control, and evil but both are violent and hate themselves more than anything else.
- Whatever is left of Joker’s former self deeply resents Batman for accidentally creating him but he’ll never show it. Bruce, meanwhile, wishes he could have known him before he became the Joker.
- If they were to get back together, it would require a decade’s worth of therapy.
- In an alternative universe where Batman and Joker were together and Joker continued to be a criminal (though not as deadly) and Jason still became the Red Hood, the bay family would be one heck of a complicated, dysfunctional, and kind of toxic family.
Lego Batman
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- They got married and adopted Dick, the end!
- Fun dads. Bruce is the kickass, awesome dad with super cool cars and gadgets while Joker is the crazy and wild dad who knows all the best jokes and pranks.
- Pure wholesome love story. Just let it be!
- Joker was never really a criminal. Just a prankster who ultimately wanted to go out with Batman but didn’t know how to ask so he annoyed him instead. 😆
- Found family that makes each other better people!
- Very affectionate. Hand holding, fixing each other’s hair, hugs and kisses, Everyday is Valentine’s Day for them!
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